All language subtitles for Sins.of.the.Amish.S01E01.720p.WEB.h264-KOGi

To the outside world, the
Amish seem like a kind, loving,

generous, hardworking community

who basically
wouldn’t hurt a fly.

But that whole picture
is pretty much a lie.

Woman: There’s no family
within these communities

that’s not incurring some sort
of abuse... physical abuse,

psychological abuse,
emotional abuse, sexual.

There are more incidents
of abuse like this

within the Plain community
than the regular community.

The odds of an Amish woman getting raped
by a guy on the street are almost zero,

but within their
own communities?

It’s one out of every
six on a good day.

It’s a predator’s paradise.

When I was six, I
had an older sibling

start to molest me.

I remember not being
safe in my room

from my own fucking brother.

Woman: Most Amish communities
view going to the police

as a greater sin
than the rape itself.

The unforgivable sin ironically
is not raping children.

It’s talking about being raped.

It’s so risky reporting.
It can be life-threatening.

It’s not that it’s awful
that he’s a rapist.

It’s that it’s awful that I am
unforgiving and reported it.

The part that I will
never, ever, ever forget

was busloads of Greyhound of Amish
coming, not just from our area,

but they were coming
from Pennsylvania.

The district attorney said
that the state of Wisconsin

is going to press
charges on my behalf.

It’s completely out of my hands.

The support was solely
for the brothers

that perpetrated these
egregious sexual assaults.

We can’t just sit here
and give them a free pass

just because they’re Amish.

Woman: Amish and Mennonites are
what we consider Plain communities.

Not conforming to the world,
being separate from the world,

and having a very
plain lifestyle.

They purposely
separate themselves

from the outside world through
dress, through language.

They speak Pennsylvania Dutch.

They came to this
country in general,

in the late 1600s
and early 1700s

because they were facing religious
persecution throughout Europe.

They have very strong
religious beliefs.

They basically carved out
a different way of existing

from the rest of us
that has been maintained

for the hundreds of years
that they’ve been here.

And they’ve been very rigid in
maintaining those practices.

Woman: Plain living is intertwined
with the sense of duty to work.

You’re not allowed
to have free time.

Everything is really
designed to keep you busy,

to keep you away from
a wandering mind,

and to be in service
of your church,

to be in service of the family,
and to be in service of God.

Woman: I was born to
Old Order Amish parents.

I grew up in different Amish
and Mennonite communities.

We typically worked
in the garden

and weeded the garden
or hoed or something

before the sun got too hot.

Woman: We had our own garden and
chickens, goats... all that kind of stuff.

We kind of lived on a
farm, so in the mornings

we’d go out and
work in the garden

for several hours before
we did our homeschooling.

Woman: Who doesn’t want their
child to grow up working on a farm

and around animals and having three
meals a day that are homemade?

Woman: I learned how to cook,
clean, sew, bake garden.

But here’s the thing.

I could have done
all of those things

without going through
the years of trauma.

I literally could have
learned all of those things

without being put in
that position as a child

to be sexually assaulted.

Jasper: It’s just this culture

that is so repressed
and so secretive,

no matter how much
pain that you’re in,

no matter how much
abuse is happening,

you’re taught that the
outside world is far worse.

Woman: The church wields a large
amount of power and control.

Under the church, you
would have the men,

and under that
would be the women,

and under that would
be the children.

And typically the wives
only have as much voice

as their husbands
allow them to have.

They have generally little
to no voice in the church.

Jasper: You’re there
to provide meals

and to keep your husband
happy and to provide children.

It’s even ingrained into the theology
that women are to be submissive

not only in the church,
but also in the bed.

In Plain communities, we teach
that men are almost animalistic

in the way that they
view women and sex.

And it’s a need, right? It’s
described as men need sex.

You hear how normalized that is

when children are raped
by family members.

They’re told, "Well, he needed
to have sex with somebody."

And it’s this objectification,

not only of women,
but of children.

Man: It’s something
that has been tolerated

within the Amish
community for a long time,

not addressed as
being inappropriate,

and that’s part of why
it’s such a difficult part

of the fabric of their
community to deal with

because they haven’t
viewed it as the problem

that everyone else
knows it to be.

So this is "The Girl..."
"To a Girl of Eleven."

This is sex education for
an 11 year old, I guess.

"This is a sex surge.

Once it is awakened and
active in a young boy

at the age of
puberty and beyond,

can become a powerful
driving force within him.

Every decent girl
will do her best

to help him and not
make it harder for him.

Even in your own home, if you
have brothers in their teens,

you should be mindful of this.

Do not appear in their presence

with nightclothes
that are scanty.

Be modest about
climbing up ladders.

Be sure you’re dress
stays closed in front.

And when you sleep, either
be sure your door is closed

or you are properly
clothed and or covered.

Your brother, innocently coming upon you
and seeing your partly uncovered body,

may suddenly have strong sexual
desires aroused within him.

His intentions were not bad,

but he suddenly finds himself
the victim of your carelessness

and the lust of his own body.

Cherish your purity,

pray fervently,
and guard it well.

God will bless you and
help you as you do so."

You are absolutely sexualized
as an 11-year-old child.

Let me tell you
about my community.

So they were really,
really, really conservative.

They didn’t even use battery
lights on the buggies.

They used oil lanterns
on the buggies.

When you get to
be a certain age,

your parents decide you were
too old to play with toys.

From then on you’re
expected to work,

make sure the horse gets fed,

or if you live on a dairy farm,
you still have to milk the cows.

And if they catch
you not working,

you’re considered lazy.

You might get spankings
because you’re required

to be working
unless it’s Sunday.

And even on Sundays,

women still have
to cook the food

and do all that stuff.

In each community that I lived in
there was child sexual assaults.

My first perpetrator was
my biological father.

I was five.

I’ve been doing
forensic interviews

for more than 21 years.

It’s not ever easy

for any child to talk about
what they’ve experienced

in the realm of child abuse.

Someone you know, love,
and trust your entire life

can harm you and
hurt you in this way.

It affects every
relationship in the future.

Being willing to
trust another person,

to be in a relationship or friends
with another person, right?

Because what they knew was
sacred to them was violated.

Mary: I was five when he died.

I don’t remember him
ever apologizing.

What I do remember is they
had a huge, huge funeral.

You can’t begin
to reconcile that

when your bad person is gone

and everybody around you
is mourning that person

and talking about that person,
what a good person they were.

But I had told my mom about it.

And that’s when she told me the
first time what forgiveness is,

which means you
don’t talk about it.

You don’t ever bring it up.

He’s sorry and you
have to forgive him.

That burden of forgiving
and turning a blind eye,

that falls on the
shoulders of the victim.

And that’s what’s happening
in the Plain communities,

they’re forcing their victims

to be the gatekeepers
of all these secrets.

It’s about saying, "Hey, evil
can live and breathe among us.

It can rape our children, and
forgiveness will just wipe it all out."

Mary: In 1990, we had
moved to another community.

This is where I learned
about corn husking by hand.

I also learned that I
wasn’t safe anywhere.

I started going to school.

I was afraid to go to
the outhouse in school

because people would get raped
in the outhouse at school.

And at that point in time, my
cousin began sexually assaulting me.

And then his brother
also began assaulting me,

and his sisters would
lock me in a room

so that he could climb in
the window and rape me.

And they would laugh
when I screamed.

Nobody gave a fuck.

Part of me has to ask, like,

how many of those
girls were victims too?

Misty: For me, I was
not born into the Amish.

My mom and my stepdad, they
ordered several books on the Amish.

You know, the Amish dress like this, they
talk like this. They believe this and that.

All of a sudden, one day we
just started dressing Amish,

and it was right after
my 10th birthday.

I remember we went to the
dumpster. We threw away the TV.

We threw away any modern
appliances that we had.

We moved to Northern Washington

and we pretty much
dropped off the map.

And that’s pretty much how I grew
up from the age of 11 to almost 19,

when I went to live
with the Amish.

Among the Amish,
it’s very common

to have a teenage girl
come in and help you

if you can’t manage your own
household, if you’re sick,

or if you’ve just had a
baby, or anything like that.

And I started living
at the bishop’s house.

By at that time, they had seven
children under the age of 12.

One day I was told by a friend,
"Be careful of the bishop.

He’s not quite right."

It was like one in the morning,

and I felt him shaking me awake,

and he was standing there
with the baby and he said,

you know, "Can you
watch the baby?"

And he hands me the baby
and he grabs my breast,

and I’m just, "What do I do?"

There’s nothing you
can do about it.

From the first week I
moved in with a bishop,

he started molesting me.

One day I was going
down to the basement.

I saw the bishop with his
daughter in the basement.

The front of her
dress was unpinned,

and he was frantically
trying to pin her dress.

And her face was red.
His face was red.

He got flustered and
ran out of the basement.

There’s no reason for
a dad to be pinning up

his Amish daughter’s dress.

She was 12 years old.

She knew how to
pin her own dress.

I was in a state of shock.

It was a devastating to
finally come in and realize,

yes, the bishop of my church
is molesting the children.

Even if I went to the
rest of the church

and I said, "I saw him
with his daughter"...

what are they going to do?

They weren’t gonna do anything.

Going to the police? It
wasn’t even an option.

The Amish view going to the police
as a greater sin than rape itself,

because in doing so,

you are handing over an Amish brother
or sister to the evil outside.

You are putting
their soul at risk.

You are endangering
them of going to hell.

But if I just ignored
it, I was an accomplice.

Hinton: When there’s a
problem, who do you go to?

As a woman, who do you go to?
Well, you have to go to the men.

Well, when the men are the ones
doing the abusing, who do you go to?

If women are told by male
members of the community

not to have any interaction
with law enforcement,

then generally they won’t.

It takes a very
courageous person

to go against that community

because of what the potential
ramifications are to someone.

There was this lady that
lived on the property

and she had become
my friend sort of.

She lived down the
ways a little bit.

She wasn’t Amish.

And she was the only
other person I knew

that I could
possibly maybe trust.

You know, I just told her what
happened because I was so scared,

And, you know, she’s like,
"You gotta go to the police."

First they had me
write out a report,

and then they told me
that "We need evidence

and there’s not
much we can do."

There’s no point in
going to the police.

They’re not going to help

because they view the
Amish as this religion

that can govern themselves, that
punish people how they see fit.

I mean, there is no help for us.

I took my head covering off,

I threw it on the floor
and I stomped on it,

and I said, "I’m leaving.
I’m leaving the Amish."

Mary: We moved
into a new house.

I would have been around
eight or nine years old.

Even in this new
house, I wasn’t safe.

I can still see the building.

This is where I remember

my own brother being
in the outhouse

and assaulting me
in the outhouse.

I finally had my own room.

This is where I remember
not being safe in my room

from my own fucking brother.

If I made it to my room
before he caught me

and got the door locked,

he would take the door
off by the hinges.

I remember him grabbing me.

And then I remember
being over here

and instantly splitting
into two people,

like I wasn’t even there.

And when I came back,

the door was closing
and he was gone.

I told my mother over
and over and over

that these things
were happening to me.

I begged her, I begged her.

"Don’t leave me home
alone with my brothers."

I fucking begged her.

She did it anyways.

I don’t understand
how you can be parent

and sit there and
blame these children

for being sexually assaulted.

I knew before I left of
at least three cases,

four sisters, two
perpetrators, their brothers.

One girl impregnated
by her rapist brother.

One girl I listened
to confess in church

at the age of 17 that
she committed a gross sin

because she "enticed,"
and I quote...

Hear that. Hear that.

She "enticed" her
brother to rape her.

She was a minor.
He was and adult.

He was in his mid-twenties.

And this is all when
I was still Amish.

So do they know?
Yes, they know.

Well, my childhood
memories, a lot of them,

I have some happy ones.

I have some that
aren’t so happy.

And at one time, I
couldn’t even think

about my childhood
without thinking

of those difficult memories.

Rebekah: My father moved us
around all over the country.

So I lived in Michigan
and North Carolina.

We had no indoor
plumbing, or electric,

or anything like that.

Rebekah: You know,
no electronics,

TV, that sort of thing.

My dad felt like we
didn’t even really need

an eighth grade education.

Once we learned
to read and write,

that was good enough.

So I thought it would be so
cool to look at these pictures.

I remember being in
the basement, I think,

in one of these shadowy
rooms where it was all dark.

I was sexually abused.

It started when I was
really, really young.

My earliest memory is when
I was three years old,

but it’s very hazy.

I have memories of trying
to run away from someone,

being grabbed, and I
don’t even know who it is.

What I have better memories
of is being sexually abused

when I was a little
older several times

by older kids in the
community that we lived in

and, um, you know,
a family member.

I just thought I
did the wrong thing.

If I was sexually abused,
well, I wasn’t modest enough.

If I got beaten, well,
I didn’t listen enough.

It was always my fault if
something bad happened to me.

The Amish and Mennonites,
their entire religion

is rooted in
discipline and control,

and in order to gain that,

there needs to be corporal
and physical punishment.

You are supposed to start physically
disciplining your children

at the age of three months old.

It is so heavily promoted

to physically break
the will of a child.

If you look at it that way, their
entire religion is rooted in abuse.

Meg: You were really little.

Anna: Yeah, you
were two and a half.

Meg: That was around the time
that your will was broken.

Well, he would try to get them
to say please or thank you.

Meg: I think for
Becca, it was "please."

And she wasn’t
talking very much,

so I thought that wasn’t fair

because I didn’t think she
knew how to say "please."

And then I... I remember how
bad I felt changing your diaper.

The marks just lasted forever.

Each time one of my siblings
would turn two years old,

it would always start on a morning
when Dad didn’t have to go to work.

One of my parents would
tell the two year old,

like, "Clap your hands," or
just give them a simple command.

They hadn’t even usually
done anything wrong.

And then if the two year
old just didn’t do it,

they would get a couple swats,
and then it would escalate.

Then the two year old
would be kind of in shock,

like, "What just happened?"

I remember one time
looking at the time

and I had gone on
for four hours.

I had a younger brother who
would just always cry out,

and so that would
lead to more beating

and more... more and
more and more beating.

And on this one
particular morning,

my dad started
laughing and saying,

"I can do this all day
long. I’ve got all day.

I’m going to tie you
up, and I got all day."

And my brother was so little.

I think he was maybe four years old
probably at that time. Maybe five.

We were expected to take
a beating without crying,

being hit and usually on, you
know, bare skin without clothes on.

I guess that
inflicted more pain.

My dad would usually use
a paddle that he had made

out of a really thick board.

In communities where
abuse is rampant,

the norms start to shift.

Things become normalized that
that shouldn’t be normalized.

Farrell: That culture of
Amish, Mennonite, and Plain

have corporal punishment.

Children grow up
learning that it’s okay.

And in my personal
experience with the children

from the Amish community
that I’ve interviewed,

there’s been a real lack

of awareness and understanding

that what they’re
experiencing is wrong.

Mary: There’s a perceived
image of the Amish.

They’re, non-violent, they’re forgiving,
they’re all these other things.

And then you have
these horror stories,

these tortures that people
go through as children.

It doesn’t make sense.

We always knew that if we would
look at our father the wrong way

or say the wrong thing,
then we would get a beating.

Or if we even laughed too much.

He would always use Bible
verses to justify that.

My dad always used
scripture as a weapon,

and there’s scriptures
in the Bible about how,

you know, you should
discipline your children

and train them up to be, you
know, men and women of God.

He would always just tell me,

"Well, see here what
it says in Proverbs.

It says you’re not going to
kill a child by spanking it.

It’s the law. The
Lord commands it."

He would just tell me that
over and over and over

to try to convince me that he
wasn’t doing something wrong.

And it just... But
it always felt wrong.

I think it really just
makes me feel angry,

but I’m trying not to
turn out like him, so...

As a girl and as a young
adult, that was difficult

that my mom just let things
happen to my siblings

and not be a strong
person, I guess,

or be a protective mother.

I have a lot of memories
of my mom beating me.

She would take my
clothes off and beat me.

She was supposed to be
there to protect me,

but I do feel like she
never really tried.

Farrell: Children in
the Amish community

don’t feel like
they have a voice.

They’re fearful.

They fear for other siblings.

The bullying, the verbal
abuse, the physical abuse,

and the lack of response
silences children.

The moms see no way out either.

This is the only life they know.

I know of cases where wives have
appealed to church leadership

about their abusive husbands

who were, you know, physically
harming their children,

and were told by the
church leadership,

"Well, nobody’s landed
in the emergency room,

so you just need to
be more submissive.

You need to be a better wife.

You need to make him happier,
and everything will be fine."

And that shows a gross
lack of understanding

about the nature and
patterns of abuse

and how extremely harmful
it is to children,

creating huge, massive harm

that can last for
many, many years,

maybe their whole entire life.

Mary: Young Amish
women and girls,

it’s very common for them
to be married at 19, 20, 21.

If you get to be a woman and you’re
21 years old and you’re not married,

in most communities, you’re
considered to be an old maid.

We were supposed to be good,

subservient,
submissive Amish women.

Our whole purpose in life
is to keep a good house,

work hard, you know,
and work harder,

and bear children.

There’s always the teaching that
you grow up to marry some guy,

you have babies, and
you care for the home.

I remember seeing Eli,
and he asked me on a date.

And I was sort of
scared because, I mean,

I was 16 and he was turning 26.

But I felt sort of flattered, you know,
that he would want to date a 16-year-old.

And at 26, he would
normally have been married

and have several children
already, you know?

So it was a little unusual.

The week I turned 18
is when we got married.

Yeah, I’m young, but
that’s how I was raised.

There’s really no other
option for a woman.

Eli, my husband,
was sort of troubled

because his dad
wasn’t nice to him.

His parents were very
violent toward each other.

He grew up seeing his mom
grab the kitchen knife

and run after her husband,

and just things like that
and yelling and screaming.

I felt sad for him, and
I wanted to let him know

that I would be his friend.

And he would say, "I’m never
going to mistreat my wife."

You know, and I believed
him, which was a mistake.

Um, it was really hard
because I had no, um,

no one told me.

I didn’t know
anything about sex.

He just grabbed me,

and I was like,
"What are you doing?"

He’s like, "I own you,

and I want to have
sex now," you know?

It was just that...
it was just...

He had no patience with trying
to help me understand or...

I got pregnant immediately.

It was like nine
months to the day.

I wanted to have my
baby in the hospital.

It just seemed a
safer place to be,

and he had agreed to do that.

And then at the
last minute he said,

"You’re gonna have
the baby at home.

I found a midwife."

When Meg was born,

I really started bleeding,

and finally it all calmed down.

And they waited a couple hours,

and it seemed like I was
okay, so they went home.

And as soon as they
left, he just...

He just came in and just... he just
ripped away the bloody bands...

I tried to beg, but I was so
exhausted, I couldn’t even move.

I was so scared, but I never
told anybody how scared it was.

Hinton: Fear dominates us.

When we’re afraid, everything
in our world changes.

People who aren’t
inside of that home,

people who don’t understand
the mind of an abuser,

people who don’t
understand violence

and perversion and
those sorts of things,

they look at the woman and say,

"If you’re so scared,

why do you keep going
back to this man?"

There is no divorces or
leaving an Amish or Mennonite.

It was just never done,

especially as we had children.

This is when Becca was born.

You know, she was 12
years younger than me,

and I just thought she
was a sickly little girl

because she would
just vomit so easily.

She shared a room with me,

and I didn’t know why my sister
was vomiting every night.

I remember when we used to share a room in
North Carolina, and I would wet the bed.

Meg: Yeah.

And I just didn’t know why
you would wake up screaming,

and you would throw
up sometimes too.

Anna: You would tell me, right,
the next day, and then...

Meg: Yeah, I would always told you when
she threw up and when she wet the bed.

Rebekah: I don’t know if you
know about this, but I have...

Ever since I was six,
I’ve had this dream

where rats are
crawling all over me.

I started having these dreams

right after a family
member molested me.

When I was six, my older
brother started to molest me.

He would touch me here and
there without anyone noticing

and eventually start asking
me to come to his bedroom.

I remember the very first time.

He just sat me on the bed and
then he started touching me.

He came in and put his
hand under my shirt

and just started to grope
my breasts and stuff.

And then he would just be like,

"You’re going to get in
trouble if you tell anybody."

I felt a lot of shame around it.

And when he would tell me to
come and meet him in his room,

I felt like I had to, but
I felt like it wasn’t okay.

And I was ashamed of
it because I thought

it was somehow my
fault at the time.

I would try to
stay away from him,

but even when we were around family
gatherings and he’d be sitting by me,

he would reach over and
touch me over my clothes.

But I guess no one ever noticed.

In Plain churches,
historically that has always

been a male-run church.

The men are the pastors,
the men are the leaders,

the men are the Sunday
school teachers.

The men who are on the church-run
school board for the church school.

It’s very definitely
the men running it.

The church is in charge of everything
and you have to obey the church.

Each Amish church has
its own list of rules.

It’s called the Ordnung, and it’s a
list of everything in your Amish life,

all the way down
to your underwear.

In the Amish community,
there are different classes.

The highest class is the bishop.

And then you will have the
other church leadership,

other prominent families
within the church.

The more children you have,
the more status you have.

If you could marry into
the bishop’s family,

it gives you a higher status.

Each church has its
own individual bishop,

and a church usually consists
of maybe 15 to 20 families

depending on how many
children are in the church.

So they’re male-centered
communities.

They hold a strong view

that women should never
have authority over a male.

The theology says the
woman’s place is in the home.

If you’re an Amish woman

and you have any kind
of voice, that’s bad.

Like, if you want
something to be said,

you would go ask your
husband or your father,

and then they would
probably speak for you

or tell you exactly how
you’re allowed to say that.

It’s fucked up brain-washing
mind control bullshit.

That’s what it really is.

If you try and speak
out against these things

happening in Amish communities,
you will be silenced.

The repercussions oftentimes
include physical abuse,

shaming, separation,
or being sent away.

They can be sent to these Amish

and Mennonite psych facilities

in order to silence them.

Reinaker: There are
some horrific examples

of where the female
victim against her will

was removed from her home
and placed in facility.

She was administered drugs
as part of the process.

I mean, just things
that are unimaginable,

and the Amish community has
been sending people to them.

They just sort of operate
within their own realm

and do whatever they
deem is appropriate.

And what they’re
passing off as treatment

for these individuals
does not at all comply

with what any true professional
in that environment

would say is necessary.

Because these facilities are
unlicensed and unregulated,

many times children
and the vulnerable

are being extremely
harmed in these facilities

and it doesn’t get found out.

Woman: I was raised
horse-and-buggy Mennonite.

As a very, very
conservative Mennonite.

Four years ago, at
the age of 21, I left,

and it was the best
decision I ever made.

The sexual abuse, I
remember some of it.

I don’t remember a whole lot.

I just remember certain
ages when it started,

like, three, and then age six.

When I came out with the abuse,

my family told other people
that I’m schizophrenic

so no one would believe me.

They would call me crazy,

mentally damaged, psycho,

and those are the words
they use to describe anyone

that’s abused sexually
in those communities.

They just looked at
me and saw a problem.

Like, I was acting out.

I wasn’t dealing
with my emotions

because I couldn’t
deal with them.

I didn’t know how
to deal with them.

How do you deal with
something like that?

And that’s when I started
landing in mental hospitals.

Most of my young adult life

I was in and out of
mental hospitals.

And that was probably
the most traumatic part

of any of this trauma.

If somebody is
viewed as a problem

or causing trouble in the
community or the church,

the solution is to pack
them up, ship them out.

Often it’s out of state.

Even children are being
sent across state lines

to these facilities without
the proper paperwork

and the proper supervision.

Jasper: They’ll oftentimes take
you in the middle of the night.

No warning, nothing.

And they will admit you
and you can’t leave.

Misty: We were usually
locked inside, medicated.

A lot of times you won’t be let
out until you seem compliant,

until you seem like you’ve
come to your senses.

Coming to your senses
is agreeing to forgive

and be quiet about
whatever happened to you.

I’ve heard firsthand
accounts from survivors

who were sent to some
of these facilities

who were horrifically abused.

Some were sexually assaulted
by the so-called counselor.

Some were threatened
with the removal of food

if they didn’t cooperate.

Others were denied
appropriate medical care.

Annie: I was 18 years old,

and by that time I was
extremely depressed.

I felt no hope or joy.

Jasper: When you think about
women being locked away

and being told that it’s
because they’re hysterical,

you think of the 1950s.

You don’t think that
this is happening

in the state of Pennsylvania

at the nice beautiful
white house on the hill.

But it is.

Rebekah: He was
my older brother.

I wanted so badly to have
that love and protection

that an older brother
is supposed to give,

but he was just...
He was this monster.

When I was 18, my brother
actually confessed to me

that he was sexually
abusing her.

And he told me
that he raped her,

and he was crying, and he seemed
to feel really bad about it.

I went to my parents, told them.

My older sister came and got me and woke
me up and took me into the living room.

And my mom and dad were sitting on
the couch, and they looked so angry.

And the first words out
of my mom’s mouth were,

"Well, why did you do that?"

And so she blamed me for my
older sibling molesting me.

She was just so angry, and
she just kept asking me,

"Why did you let that happen?"

And it hurt, because I was
like, "What do you mean?"

Because I didn’t even understand at
the time what was happening to me.

And I didn’t process that
until I was a teenager.

I was just so scared that they were
going to beat me when they talked to me.

But my mom just told me,
like, "That’s never okay.

You shouldn’t have let that happen,"
and then sent me back to bed.

That was it.

Even after my older sibling
confessed to my parents about it,

it wasn’t long again before
the abuse started again.

He moved out, but he would still
come home to visit throughout.

And that’s why I still hold
a lot of anger towards my mom

because she would still allow my
older brother to come back and visit.

Even when she eventually had the
chance to stop it, she chose not to.

And so then the abuse
would keep happening.

But because of the conversation
we had when I was a child,

I was so scared
that she’d be angry.

So, of course, I
never said anything.

Rebekah: Because of the conversation
we had when I was a child,

I’ve never really
confronted my mom about it

because I don’t
know really how to.

I feel like I hold a lot of
anger and resentment towards you

because the night that you
pulled me out of my room

and confronted the
whole situation,

the only thing I really remember
about that besides being scared

was you being angry at me and
asking me, "Why did you do this?"

Because you said that to me.

And as I got older
and it kept happening

and other family
members abused me,

I didn’t say anything to you.

And even after he left home,

you still would allow him
to come back and visit.

And it was like you choosing
him again and again,

and you just ignored me.

- You had... ( crying )
- I’m sorry.

I’m gonna go check her.

Can I come to, too,
and tell her that...

Maybe not right now.
Maybe just wait a second.

I... there’s no
excuse for me to give.

I’m so sorry.

It’s so complicated
with all the abuse

and that I was abusive too.

I think I’m trying
to understand,

and I want to move
on and forgive,

but it’s just really hard.

Anna: I understand.

And I’m trying to figure
out how to do that,

but I don’t think I’m there yet.

One of the things I’ve learned
as an advocate and an educator

is that sometimes mothers
who do not protect children

are actually victims
of abuse themselves,

and they’ve never gotten help.

So they just kind of shut
down and look the other way.

Sometimes you have women who
are just not even willing

to be honest about
their husbands

because they’re afraid.

Mary: I remember hearing my sister
say that she was being abused.

I remember exactly where I was,

how terrified she
was to tell me.

It literally fucking killed me.

She told me what
my mom said to her,

and it was the exact same
word she had said to me

13 and a half years before that.

She told her, "You
have to forgive."

And that means you
don’t talk about it

and you can’t tell
anybody about it.

And it clicked.

Like, if I don’t do anything,

my sister’s going to grow up

and have the exact same hell

as her childhood as I did.

No child deserves that.

It wasn’t enough
that I was a victim?

Now you’re going to
do this to my sister?

My sister who never did
anything to anybody?

I called the sheriff’s
department and reported it.

I don’t know where the courage
came from. I felt like I had to.

I couldn’t live with
myself if I didn’t.

Henry: My position with the sheriff’s
department was the chief investigator.

I took care usually of most
of the sexual assault cases

that came into our department.

She just came in
to our department.

We sat down in an interview room

and I interviewed her.

She went through and told me

what Johnny had done to her,
what Eli had done to her.

She identified her brothers
as the perpetrators.

I don’t understand what
they were thinking.

I mean, they treated
her like an animal.

Whenever you are investigating
a historical sexual assault,

something that isn’t, like,
just recently happened,

where we don’t have the physical
evidence of seminal fluid,

any injuries, things like that,

we want to make sure
that we can build

and gather as much
evidence as all possible.

We decided to place a
body wire on the victim.

They had a whole group of
investigators who put a wire on me.

And then we had a female deputy
drive her to Johnny’s place.

So this road right here is where Scott
and I set up when Mary had the wire on.

And we had to move a couple times
because she went into the barn

and that kind of
messed up our signal.

What I was worried about
was if they caught on to it

and they decided to beat
the hell out of her.

That’s why we had to stay
not only within distance

of getting there to be able to
help her if something went wrong,

but also we needed to be
within a certain distance

so we could pick up the sound.

All right. Here’s
the Byler place.

That’s the big
house right there.

Eli would rape her there.

I went back. I
confronted my abusers.

Sometimes we have to face our
biggest fear in order to grow.

What I remember most distinctly

is just sitting there
inside the barn,

and I had my arms
wrapped around the knees.

And it’s just like, if
he kills me right now

or if I die right now,
they’re going to get him,

because there’s people
that came with me

that had the ability to
make sure that they get him.

Now that’s Johnny’s place there.

And about right
where that wagon sits

is where Johnny and
I sat in my squad car

while I talked to him.

And down here is where Mary
came and went into his barn

when she wore the wire
and talked to Johnny.

Johnny specifically
said he had probably

sexually assaulted his
sister upwards of 200 times.

If somebody says
200, that probably...

In my opinion anyways, probably
means significantly more than that.

Bjerkos: We were successful with
getting a number of the individuals

making admissions to having
forced intercourse with her,

and were able to
bring a good case

to the district
attorney’s office.

Gaskell: As the district attorney,
we make the charging wishes.

How I perceived the Byler case

is that these were
certainly all prison cases.

Mary: When I met
with Tim Gaskell,

that was a really intense
and also terrifying thing.

The district attorney said
that the state of Wisconsin

is going to press
charges on my behalf.

It’s completely out of my hands.

"You’ve done your part.

This is what the state of
Wisconsin is going to do."

Henry: Johnny, Eli, and David were
properly charged with sexual abuse.

The mother Sally was charged with
failure to protect her child.

William, the stepfather,
he was taken to jail too.

There was no trials. I mean,
it was all, they pled guilty.

All of them did all,
all five of them.

Eli and Johnny were
sexually abusing Mary

from age six until 17.

That’s 11 years of hell.

Gaskell: We certainly had discussions
to Mary about the expectation,

an expectation that
Johnny would go to prison.

I don’t remember Amish
being in the courtroom

when Eli was sentenced or
when David was sentenced.

But I certainly do remember
when Johnny got sentenced,

because the
courthouse was packed.

Gaskell: The lack of support
from the Amish community

toward Mary was eye-opening.

The Amish will come in
droves to the courtroom

when they have somebody involved in a
court proceeding or a court hearing.

The support was solely
for the brothers

that perpetrated these
egregious sexual assaults.

No Amish came to
support Mary, not one.

Her support was our
victim witness coordinator

with the district
attorney’s office,

and my wife Mary was there also.

The part that I will
never, ever, ever forget

was busloads a Greyhounds
of Amish coming,

not just from our area,

but they were coming
from Pennsylvania.

I was having a hard time
wrapping my head around

that all these people
were here for those men

that hurt her so
badly and abused her.

Gaskell: These are
numerous letters

that were written really
on behalf of Johnny Byler.

This letter says "He has
been," meaning Johnny...

"has been through
all our punishments,

a ban, no communication
with other church members,

grounded, that
included his wife.

These are very
severe punishments

and with what all Mary is doing

to harass us and Johnny,

God sees her then."

It says, "I have a
feeling she is doing this

out of spite more than anything.

Ever since I learned to
know Mary personally,

she had a habit of making things
sound worse than they really are."

And that’s her mother.

That’s a letter from her mother.

Mary: They literally paraded
them up on the witness stand

to testify as to what
a good Amish man he is,

and people practically
cried on demand.

I have pointed a real
bad finger at the Amish.

It’s not that it’s awful
that he’s a rapist.

It’s that it’s awful that I am
unforgiving and reported it.

I had the victim
advocate with me,

and I knew that if I could just
make it to the other side of this,

I’m going to be okay.

I got up in front of them and
read the victim impact statement.

Mary Henry: And I can remember
just hugging her and holding her,

imagining a child being abused
to the extent that she was.

That’s... I can’t block it off,

but just to think about what
that little girl endured

and to be hunted
down like an animal

and treated like an animal.

The judge, as he was sentencing,

I can remember him saying,
"I see all you people here

in support of the defendant,

but where’s the
support for Mary?

How many of you have ever
cried for Mary Byler?

How many of you cried for her

or the loss of her childhood?

That was a very small triumph. It was
like, "Oh, my God, this is unheard of.

He’s going to actually
do the right thing."

And I thought, you know what?
He’s going to hammer Johnny.

I hoped.