All language subtitles for Not.Dead.Yet.S01E07.720p.WEB.h264-KOGi

♪♪

Oh, hey.

Heyyyy, roomie.

You know, it's, uh --
it's so crazy

that we've been living together
for a few months

and I don't even know
what city you were born in.

That's not crazy.
I was born in Cleveland.

Cool. So as a kid in Cleveland,
did you have any pets?

Yeah. I had a hamster
named Hamster.

Adorable.
Last question.

What's your mother's
maiden name?

No.
What?

You're trying to steal
my Hulu password.

No, I'm not trying to...

That's identity theft,
Nell.

Come on!
Everybody does it.

It's not a big deal.

It's like stealing
a fun glass from a bar

or sneaking a roasted chicken
into a movie theater.

As a lawyer, I'm gonna recommend
that you quit talking

before you confess
to any more crimes.

Speaking of crimes,

I've noticed you use a lot of
toilet paper in the bathroom.

Now, I wasn't gonna say anything
because, frankly,

I -- I don't know
where to begin.

But I think it would be best
if you could please

just keep
the bathroom stocked.

Okay, listen, I'll amortize
my share from the...

What is -- What are --

What are you doing?

Um, I'm packing
my lunch.

That's not lunch.

That's oyster crackers
and a jar of peanut butter.

I don't get paid
until Friday.

And I'm three payments behind
on my student loans.

So I'm gonna have to
make do.

Thank God I picked
these tomatillos

from the community
garden.

We don't have
a community garden.

You just picked that
from somebody's yard.

Oh,
call the produce police.

Bye!

It's a slippery slope
from tomatoes to banks.

Oh.

"Dear Nell,"
blah, blah, blah.

"Your next obituary
assignment is" -- Oh!

Man: Wow,
that was a close call.

Oh, my God.
I know that voice.

This is the voice
of the Fresno Grizzlies,

Car--
Carlos Garza!

Carlos Garza!
Oh, my God!

My dad I used to listen
to you call baseball games

all the time!

I can't believe
you're dead!

That is amazing!

Hurtful.

Oh, no, no.
I didn't mean it like that.

I just meant that, like,
you know...

I've always wanted
to meet you.

So, you know, say something,
just anything.

Keep your eyes on the road.
Oh, yeah.

Don't worry.
That's it, though.

That's exactly
what you sound like.

Oh!

Two car crashes
in one day.

Tough day
for Carlos Garza.

♪♪

-- Captions by VITAC --

Nell: Yeah,
I canceled my AAA,

so this tow truck's gonna
cost me about, uh,

300 bucks that I don't have.
Hm.

Speaking of AAA,
this reminds me of a pitcher

from the Toledo Mud Hens.
Mm.

This guy was
older than Moses,

committed three errors
on one play.

Yet, the old southpaw managed
to turn things around

and get the win.

Man, you always have
the perfect baseball story

for every situation.

We'd always have you on
at the kitchen

in my family's
restaurant.

Or -- Or,
in the summer,

we'd bring the radio with us
to the stadium

just to, like, listen to you
when we watched the game.

You really brought me
and my dad closer together.

Yeah.

Oh.

Nope.
Hmm.

I can see you're still
very close.

No, we are.
Now is just not a good time.

Hm.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this one is going,
going, gone.

I am just so grateful
that you didn't get hurt.

I mean, this is why
I always tell you

to keep your eyes
on the road.

FYI, the light is green.

Huh? Oh.

Mm. Thank you.
Mm-hmm.

So, you doing okay?

Yeah.

I got coffee in my bra.

Oh, and I might have to start
driving Uber on the weekends.

But, uh, now I don't have
a car, so...

maybe they'll let me carry
people from place to place.

Oh.

Oh, of course my dad
keeps calling me today,

on all days.

Well, maybe you could just
ask him for some money.

Oh, no, no, no.
I don't think so.

Mnh-mnh.

Yeah, if I pick up,
he's gonna want to catch up.

And then I'm gonna
ruin the illusion

that his little superstar
is actually broke,

living with a roommate,

and stealing vegetables
like Peter Rabbit.

This is all temporary,
okay?

And from where I'm sitting,
you are doing all right,

even with that coffee
on your bra.

♪♪

I hope we get away
to the Bahamas.

Alright, if you can
figure it out.

I'm gonna look for a --

Attention, everybody.

I have an air horn.

And also an announcement
to make.

My father wants all employees
to undergo performance reviews.

I know he can be
intimidating.

But good news --

He's not going
to be present...

...in person.

He is going to be present
on a speaker.

But we're going
to make it fun!

Mason?

Every employee's name
has been written

on one of these
ping-pong balls

by my personal
calligraphist, Chaz.

Now, when I pull your ball,
you're going to meet me

in the conference room
for a little chitchat.

Fun, right?

Heyyyy.
What's going on?

My father
wants me to make budget cuts.

I think I might have to
lay someone off.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. It's bad.

It's really,
really bad.

Love the big jewelry, Tina.

10 out of 10!

Everyone's gonna hate me.

And I don't know how
to pull myself out of it.

Okay, well, all you have to do
is just take a deep breath

and be honest with everyone
and tell them the truth.

I can't do that,
and neither can you.

Okay? Just smile.

Party!

The paper's cutting costs,
people.

It's only a matter of time
until they cut jobs, too.

Good thing I'm the only one here
who doesn't get paid.

You're also
the only one here

that's still on
a learner's permit.

What?

Screw this place.
I'm taking whatever I want.

Whoa.

You okay?
Yeah.

Just, I don't like
performance reviews.

Oh.
Not really good
with criticism.

Plus, when I get nervous,
I tend to ramble.

Well, not so much ramble
as prattle or blabber.

Pratter, even.

Is that a word,
"pratter"?

Mnh-mnh.
I think I'm rambling.

Am I rambling?
100%.

Oh.

Dennis.

Ohhh!

Okay. No, this is good,
this is good.

I'm going first.
Rip it off just like a Band-Aid.

Why do people say that?
That hurts so much.

Oh, God,
I'm rambling again.

I know my father
can be intimidating,

even from
5,000 miles away,

but don't let it
rattle you.

Just pretend he's not even
in the room,

listening and judging every
single thing you're saying.

Assistant: Mr. Rhodes
has joined the call.

Uh, hello.

Mr. Rhodes,
it's such a pleasure

to finally meet you
over the speaker box.

Don't be alarmed.

He didn't speak to me
from the ages of 8 to 11

because I had braces.

Okay, Dennis,
let's get into it.

How would you summarize your
performance over the past year?

Uh, yes.

Um, I-I can
definitely do that.

Um, our -- our clicks are up.
Ad sales up.

A-And we uncovered a sex cult
at the Alhambra Public Library.

The end.

Well, kudos to you.

Keep up the good work.

Is that it?
Yes.

I mean, unless you wanted
to say something else?

No.
No.

Thank you.
Thank you, Lexi.

And -- And -- And thank you,
Mr. Rhodes.

I appreciate
the opportunity.

Um, and I love you.

♪♪

I, uh...

I gotta go job.

Mm-hmm.

♪♪

Ah.
Toilet paper?

I haven't seen
a steal this brazen

since fleet-footed Dave Roberts
stole second base

against the Yankees
in the ALCS.

Can you cool it
with the color commentary?

My life sucks,
and I might lose my job.

I thought you liked
my storytelling.

I did --
When I was a kid

and it was about the players
and not me.

I really don't need
a play-by-play of my failures.

Mm-hmm.
I'll stop.

For what it's worth,
things could always be worse.

I don't even know
how that's possible.

Dad?!

Now, that is
a beautiful curveball.

♪♪

There's my superstar.

Dad.

Ah.
Ah.

Your mom wants
to give you this.

Mwah!

And this.
Hey!

She says that's for not visiting
since you got back.

I visited.

Once.
And that was months ago.

But work's been keeping me busy,
you know?

But don't worry.
Everything is good.

I'm over this dump.
Oh, wait.

So what brings you,
uh, down here, Dad?

Everything okay?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I had to meet with one of
our suppliers to the restaurant.

Oh.
I called you
a couple of times

to see if you were
free for lunch,

but when I didn't
hear from you,

I just thought, "You know what?
I'm just gonna show up."

And -- oh, my God --
Carlos Garza.

Oh.

Talk about
one of the greats.

I like this guy.
Class act.

I met him, you know,
a few years ago.

He came to the restaurant.
Yeah?

He said
my pasteles were...

Together:
The best he'd ever tasted.

I'm sure
they were delicious,

but I say that to everyone
to get free food.

You know what, Dad?
It's like he's still here.

I'm -- I'm writing
his obituary.

Th-They usually put me
on more important things.

They just wanted to make sure
that, you know,

they got
the job done right.

Wow, mírate.

That's my superstar.

Hey, since I'm here,

which one of these offices
is yours?

I want to see
where the magic happens.

You do?
Yeah.

Uh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, I'll show you,
Dad.

Come on. It's just, uh,
right over here.

Yeah, right this way, Dad.

Um...

I'll, uh...

♪♪

Ahh!
I always knew you were
gonna be a big success

when you were
a little girl.

Oh.
Banging out those stories

on your toy typewriter.

Yeah, well, now I have
a computer,

but, unfortunately, no bubbles
come out when I press the keys.

Hey!

Oh, hey!

Mr. Serrano.
I didn't know you were in town.

Did Nell know
you were in town?

If she picked up her phone,
she would have.

Sam, I can't believe
you're a mom now.

Yeah.
Show me some pictures.

Sure.

Nell, do you know
where my picture frames are?

I think
they're in your cubicle.

Not sure why they'd be
in my office.

You're right.
You're right.

How silly of me.
I just love those pictures.

I just carry them around
all the time

and leave them
in other people's offices.

Quick quesht.

Has anyone ever
told their boss "I love you"

totally unprompted?

Asking for a -- myself.
I just did that.

Dennis, you remember my dad,
right?

You guys met
a few years ago?

Yes! Mr. Serrano!
Hi.

Good to see you.

Why are you
sitting there?

It's my chair.

And this is my desk
and my pencils -- pen.

My pens.

And, you know,
because this --

is my three hard-boiled eggs
for lunch.

Ugh!

I really respect
your relationship to protein.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Dad, why don't we go outside
and get some air, yeah?

Yeah.

The newspaper business
is solid.

Life is great.
Oh, I never worry about you.

Your brother,
on the other hand.
Oh, no.

Did he accidentally start
another pyramid scheme?

No, but I still have
a garage full of shampoo,

if you're interested
in losing your hair.

No, thanks.

Basically,
I was thinking

I might take a step back
at the restaurant

and let him take over.

Really?
Yeah.

I mean, I don't know
what else to do with him.

Mm.
Maybe he'll get his life
together, for once.

Well, I mean, come on.

It's not all his fault,
right?

Sometimes things are
out of your control,

and people get
knocked off their path,

and they just need a-a minute
to get back on it.

No. I think he might
just be an idiot.
Mm.

Not like
my successful daughter

with her corner office
and her fancy job.

Well, that's me,
who is...not an idiot.

Almost too successful.

♪♪

I decided to go with
the smaller apartment,

you know,
for historical significance.

Rumor has it David Lee Roth
once lived here.

Ah!

I don't know who that is,
but I'm impressed.

Oh, well, let me
go change real quick,

and then we'll grab
a bite, hmm?
Okay.

♪♪

Isn't this great?

Sam!

Oh.

This is going to be easy.

Just easy-squeezy, okay?

Oh, I am so relieved
to hear you say that.

I was actually
kind of nervous about it.

I don't know why.
I think it's 'cause

Keith is just trying
to develop this app,

and I'm like --
Um, I don't need

to hear about
your personal life, Ms. Holkar.

Dad.

Oh. Okay.

Thanks, Lexi.

Bup-bup-bup!

Please just stick
to your performance review.

Alright.

Uh, well, I think that
my performance overall

has been very positive,

especially
in light of the fact

that...we have, uh, lost
two reporters this year.

But Lifestyle will continue
to grow and improve.

Um...
Well, it's not
good enough,

but I suppose it's going
to have to do.

You can go now.

Thank you.

♪♪

Ah, so I'm -- Edward.

What are you doing here?

I just met your dad.
He's great.

You didn't tell me
you had a roommate.

I was just telling him
how relieved I am

that you were not hurt
during your car accident,

even though it sucks

that you don't have
the money to pay for it

and then you had to go to work
after to write obituaries

at your dumpy,
little cubicle.

I did mention
the vegetable stealing,

but that's only because
I thought maybe

he would want to
speak with you about it.

Dad,
I know this sounds bad.

Alright, I'm going to
excuse myself.

Thank you.

So you're broke...
Eh --

...that wasn't your office,
and you got in a car accident?

It wasn't that bad.

I really just have to replace,
like, the front half of the car.

You've been lying
about your life.
Uh...

Is this why you've
barely come to visit

since you've been back?

I just didn't want
you guys to worry.

And things have been tougher
than expected,

but it's gonna be okay.

You know, I'm working
really hard to get
myself out of it.

Nell, it doesn't have to be
so hard.

You can come home
and run the restaurant.

No.
I always wanted it
to be you, anyway.

But you had these big dreams
you were chasing,

and I-I didn't want
to get in the way.

But if it's not
working out --
Dad --

Listen to me.

You could have
some stability,

afford your own place
to live,

and you could be
near your family.

Dad,
I'm sorry for lying,

but it's --
I'm going to be fine.

Penelope,
can you honestly tell me

this is the life
that you want?

And as the slugger steps up
to the plate,

she faces the question,
does she like her job?

Does she like
her living situation?

Does she like some dead guy
asking these questions?

♪♪

♪♪

How you feeling,
champ?

Uh, I-I just can't stop
thinking about what my dad said.

You know, like, I --

I can't find a reason
not to agree with him.

If I move back home
and I work for the restaurant,

my life would
be easier.

Dads are like umpires.

You hate them
when they get it wrong.

But 99 times out of 100,
they get it right.

You know what's funny?

I have
this memory of a game.

Me and my dad
are in the cheap seats,

'cause they're the rowdiest
and the most fun.

You know, I got my Cracker Jacks
and my hot dog,

and my dad's got his beer
and you on the radio.
Oh.

It's the bottom
of the 7th.

Lorenzo Gomez steps up
to the plate,

and he really connects,
right?

And I-I see the ball
leave his bat,

and I watch it fly
through the air,

and I just know
it's headed right towards me.

So I-I close my eyes,
I open my glove,

and it lands smack
in the middle of it.

And it was just
the best moment

because I was
in the exact right place

at the exact right time.

Mm-hmm.

From then on, I always
felt that way, you know?

Right place,
right time...

Till now.

Oh, I don't know
about that.

Huh.

You took me right back
to the cheap seats in '94.

I call 'em like I see 'em.

And you're a storyteller.

No matter
what you decide to do,

I'm glad you're the one
who's telling mine.

Yeah?
Mm-hmm.

♪♪

That's cool.

♪♪

Okay.

Nope.

That makes more sense.

Nell.

♪♪

Nell, Nell, Nell.

Where should
we begin?

I'll start.

I was gonna come in here
and tell you to fire me.

That would be amazing.
Go on.

But I can't do that.

Just because I'm living off
of oyster crackers

doesn't mean
that I need to go

and run a Puerto Rican
restaurant in Fresno.

That's oddly specific.
Proceed.

I'm going to stay here
at the paper,

and I'm gonna keep doing what
I love -- telling stories.

Now, I-I don't know
if you know this, Mr. Rhodes,

but that's what everybody here
is trying to do.

And it -- And it
really sucks

that you're making us
jump through hoops

with these stupid
performance reviews.

We don't need
more pressure

than the pressure
we put on ourselves.

Mr. Rhodes? Papá?

Assistant:
Uh, yeah.

Mr. Rhodes hasn't been on
the call for quite some time.

He instructed me to cough
every now and then

so you wouldn't know.

But please don't tell him.
I-I don't want to be fired.

I really need this job.

Well...

Whew!
This is embarrassing.

I'm sorry your little screed
fell on deaf ears.

Eh.
For what it's worth,

I found both you ladies
to be very --

Oh, goodness.

I can't believe my dad is trying
to get me to make layoffs

and couldn't even be bothered
to be on the calls himself.

It's just so...typical.

I don't want to fire people.
I hate being the bad guy.

Really? 'Cause you're
really good at it.

And the crazy part is,
I've been trying so hard

to prove to him that I'm doing
a good job, and for what?

To be the boss
with perfect teeth

who's despised
by her employees?

Ah, I get that.

I don't want to disappoint
my dad, either.

Maybe, sometimes,
we gotta wave off the signs

and swing for the fences,
even if it's a 3-0 count.

Mm.

Is that some kind of code
or something?

I'm just saying, you gotta do
what's right for you.

We both do.

Thank you.
Yeah.

You can do now, 773N.

♪♪

That was incredible.

I'm glad you're gonna
stay in the game.

Well,
you inspired me.

Oh, kid,
it was my pleasure.

Just remember
to keep swinging.
Mm-hmm.

You'll find your way back
to the big leagues soon enough.

♪♪

Everyone, I have
an announcement.

I'm sure some of you
have heard a rumor

that the performance reviews
were leading to layoffs.

Let me be the first to tell you
that this rumor is correct.

You're coming with me,
Key-bo.

What I meant to say was,

this rumor was
absolutely correct.

My father did
want layoffs.

But I have found a way
to avoid making that happen.

Everyone is
keeping their jobs.

How did you manage
to save everyone's jobs?

I had my father fired.

He probably won't discover it
for several weeks,

and when he does, boy,
will he be furious.

But please don't tell anyone,
and smile for everyone, Sam.

Thank you.

♪♪

Nell: "When I was a little girl,
I thought Carlos Garza

was calling baseball games
just for me.

He got you to hold your breath
with every at-bat

and to fall in love
with each player's story.

You felt the sting of
every setback

and the heartbreak
of every loss."

"And if the season ended
short of victory,

as it did so many times,

Carlos Garza reminded you
that hope springs eternal

and better days
are always just ahead."

Wow.

But would it have
killed you to say

where he got
his favorite pasteles?

You know, I was thinking about
what you had asked --

if this is the life
that I want to live.

And, honestly,
I don't know.

But I know that my game
is not over yet.

Even if I share
a small apartment

and my job surrounds me
with dead people,

I weirdly think that
this is good for me.

And I know
you're disappointed in me.

I'm not disappointed,
Nell.

I'm proud of you, just like
I've always been proud of you.

And of course
you gotta go for it.

I did, and I got my dream
to come true.

What's that?

Serving pasteles
to Carlos Garza?

No, mija.

I got to be your dad.

♪♪

Mm!

Mwah!

Man:
Dennis.

♪♪

Hello?

Dennis, I'd like to have
a word with you.

♪♪

Um, yes,
Mr. Rhodes?

While what you said to me
earlier was extremely awkward,

I just want you to know
I love you, too.

Mr. Rhodes.

I-I don't know
what to say.

Say nothing to no one.

I will carry this secret
to my grave.

♪♪

Oh, for...

You were supposed
to tell him the truth.

Come on!
This is so much more fun.

Lexi!
I'm calling Nell.

No, you are not!

Come on!
No!