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1
00:00:01,044 --> 00:00:03,394
♪
2
00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:06,180
Good luck escaping that,
you creep!
3
00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:07,659
Gurgs, what's going on?
4
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:09,052
Well, I was went into
the judge's chambers
5
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,793
to do my primal-scream therapy
6
00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:12,664
when I saw a guy with a knife,
7
00:00:12,664 --> 00:00:15,624
and I did an an actual scream,
which wasn't therapeutic at all.
8
00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:18,844
Oh, God.
Was it the foot perv
9
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,237
who's always asking people
their shoe size
10
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:22,805
or the guy who sells the olives?
11
00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,154
Well, just know
that if it's the guy
12
00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:26,417
who eats soup with a fork,
watch out--
13
00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:28,811
he's pretty good
with that thing.
14
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:31,422
No, it was a brand-new creep.
15
00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:33,250
What are you guys doing
standing around?
16
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:35,557
Gurgs, book these people
for loitering.
17
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:38,038
Just kidding.
Please hang out.
18
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,736
Judge, your chambers have been
closed for security reasons.
19
00:00:40,736 --> 00:00:45,001
Behind these doors is a mad man,
and not a hot Jon Hamm one.
20
00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:46,350
Please let me out!
21
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:48,700
I'm claustrophobic
and agoraphobic,
22
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,790
which means I'm seldom okay!
23
00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:53,227
Oh, my gosh,
I recognize that voice.
24
00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:55,142
That's my fiancé, Rand.
25
00:00:57,622 --> 00:00:59,798
Hi.
So nice to finally meet you all.
26
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:02,192
I-I brought cake
and a big bag of olives
27
00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:04,716
I got from the nice man
in the men's room.
28
00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:08,068
I can't believe
you're finally here!
29
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,678
Told you guys he was real.
30
00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:12,028
Rand!
31
00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:14,770
It's so great to meet you.
32
00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:20,080
It's either him or he's got
a top-notch mask guy.
33
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:37,358
♪
34
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:39,795
Not the first time I've been
accused of wearing a mask.
35
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:42,493
Most Halloweens, people think
I'm going as John Ritter.
36
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:46,845
So this is the famous fiancé.
37
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:49,283
What brings you to New York,
"Rand"?
38
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,373
It's a funny story, actually.
39
00:01:52,373 --> 00:01:54,026
I decided to run the marathon,
40
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:56,638
so I called Rand
to ask him to come down here.
41
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:59,119
and just as I was dialing,
the phone dinged,
42
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,686
and it was Rand saying
the same thing!
43
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:06,430
So your story is about
how phones work.
44
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:11,957
Well, now I'm here all week to
help Abby get marathon-ready.
45
00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:14,090
You know, keep her hydrated,
cheer her on,
46
00:02:14,090 --> 00:02:17,789
find clean versions
of DMX songs to blast.
47
00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:19,400
Which are really
just audio recordings
48
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,446
of a grown man barking.
49
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:25,014
You know, help her train.
- To run?
50
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:28,148
Something we've all done
since we were children?
51
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,802
Is the deal still
you try to move your legs fast?
52
00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:32,630
Yeah, but for 26 miles.
53
00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:35,459
You know, Rand and I have run
some marathons back home.
54
00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:39,333
Upstate, they let horses
run it, too.
55
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:43,728
Which I know doesn't seem fair,
but it kept us motivated.
56
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:45,469
If you ever run one, you'll see.
57
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:46,949
Oh, I'm running the marathon.
58
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:49,081
Yeah, that obnoxious
day-court prosecutor,
59
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:52,302
Nina, is running,
so obviously I have to.
60
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:53,912
Olivia, this is so cool.
61
00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:55,479
Maybe we could run together.
62
00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:57,089
You know, having a partner
makes the time go faster.
63
00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:59,048
Mm, I don't think so.
I run alone.
64
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:01,093
I'm a lone wolf.
65
00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:02,791
Wolves run in packs.
I should know--
66
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:05,141
Upstate, wolves run
in the marathons, too.
67
00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:09,232
Keeps the horses motivated.
68
00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:13,802
Okay, sweetheart, I'm gonna
get good seats in the gallery.
69
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,107
I like to sit in the second row.
70
00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:17,458
It's like the movies.
Front row?
71
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,895
Nobody needs to be that close
to Nicole Kidman's face.
72
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:26,380
So, Dan, what'd you--
what'd you think of Rand?
73
00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:27,990
Seems fine.
74
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,470
Fine?
75
00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:31,298
Oh, my God, you love him!
76
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:34,301
♪
77
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,781
Gurgs, thank you very much for
your help with that defendant.
78
00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:38,130
What is it about cocaine
79
00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:39,871
that makes people want
to dance with me?
80
00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:41,612
Well, they always want
to dance with you.
81
00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:43,266
It's just the cocaine
gives them the courage to ask.
82
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:45,050
Yeah.
83
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,444
Uh, the Dan Fielding Goodbye--
84
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:49,446
be rude until someone leaves.
85
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,361
Must be losing my touch--
you're still here.
86
00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:56,366
Ah! What, are you guys finally
putting in the cup holders?
87
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:58,673
About time somebody read
the suggestion box.
88
00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:01,415
No, I'm just measuring
the bench before we move it.
89
00:04:01,415 --> 00:04:02,981
Wait a minute.
You're moving my bench?
90
00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:05,288
Not your bench,
it's Judge Sorenson's bench.
91
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,290
Sorenson?
That monster died years ago.
92
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:10,162
His bench is in hell!
93
00:04:10,162 --> 00:04:12,121
His family is building him
a museum--
94
00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:13,992
the real family,
not the secret one.
95
00:04:13,992 --> 00:04:16,386
No museum is
getting this bench.
96
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:17,822
There are so few people
or things
97
00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,737
that I like in this courthouse.
98
00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:21,913
I'm not gonna live in a world
where the bench gets taken away
99
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:24,525
and Neil can stay!
100
00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:27,615
Oh, Dan Fielding, you actually
care about something.
101
00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,486
Well, if it means that much
to you, I will make it
102
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:32,576
my life's mission to make sure
that this bench stays right--
103
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:34,796
Really?
104
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:36,580
I was in the middle of saying
I was gonna help you!
105
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:37,929
Oh, sorry!
No, sorry, sorry.
106
00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:40,192
Just-- Reflex.
But you know what?
107
00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:42,804
In my defense,
you could have said that faster.
108
00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:45,067
♪
109
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,677
It was nice to finally
meet your friends.
110
00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:49,332
I think Gurgs is your Kramer.
111
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:51,769
And Dan is
my "Mare of Easttown."
112
00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:54,859
I really get all of them.
113
00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,121
I'm just having
a bit of a hard time
114
00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:57,471
connecting with Olivia.
115
00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:59,299
Oh, Olivia, the woman
I saw hanging out
116
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,389
at the bottom of the stairs,
waiting for people to fall?
117
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,825
You just need to something
outside of work.
118
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,261
Maybe the marathon.
119
00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:06,871
You could bond over that.
- I don't know.
120
00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:09,396
She doesn't seem
super interested.
121
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:12,007
But with Olivia, I'm sticking
with playing the long game.
122
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:14,052
Because she has a crush
on Justin Long.
123
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:16,228
The move is that I make friends
with him first and--
124
00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:17,882
Trust me.
You don't have to try that hard.
125
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,493
We'll win her over.
126
00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,408
I'm amazing at helping people
become friends.
127
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:25,368
I'm like human Facebook,
except I don't lie to moms.
128
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,848
Remember how
everyone wanted Mitch
129
00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:29,024
to be on their trivia team,
but I got him?
130
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,417
Yeah, he was
the greatest addition
131
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,941
to A Tribe Called Questions.
132
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,290
But don't worry--
I'm gonna totally figure
133
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:35,857
this thing out
with Olivia on my own.
134
00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:38,468
Okay.
I won't get involved.
135
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:39,730
Rand, you're holding my hand.
136
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:40,992
I felt you cross your fingers.
137
00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:45,083
♪
138
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,737
Hey, Olivia.
139
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:51,046
So I have two tickets for
Justin Long's one-man show.
140
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:53,744
It's a re-imagining of
the Eugene O'Neil classic,
141
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:58,401
"Justin Long's Long Day's
Justin into Night."
142
00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:01,926
All the blogs say
there's no nudity, so I'm good.
143
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,624
Hey, Abs,
144
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:06,061
I got your green juice
and mashed-potato smoothie.
145
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:09,281
And since I know you and Olivia
share a common interest,
146
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:11,066
got one for you, too.
147
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:14,939
The straw is extra wide so you
can suck down them chunks.
148
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,160
That's very thoughtful.
149
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,467
And unnecessary.
150
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,294
I know what you're doing.
It's not the time.
151
00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:26,516
Oh, I checked my watch,
and it is friend o'clock.
152
00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:28,475
Sweetheart,
someone stole my watch.
153
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:33,305
Hey, Olivia, uh, looks like
you left a file up here.
154
00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:35,003
I'm a-comin'.
155
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:43,707
You okay?
156
00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:45,187
I may have gone for a test run
this morning,
157
00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:48,538
and my legs
may be a little sore.
158
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,410
See? This is why
you need the smoothie.
159
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,673
Classic potassium deficiency.
160
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:53,761
Po-tatos.
161
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:55,850
Po-tassium.
162
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,329
Coincidence?
163
00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:58,592
Yeah.
164
00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:03,945
It's fine. It's a perfectly
legitimate way to get around.
165
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:10,560
Okay.
166
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,736
Maybe I need to drink
some chunks.
167
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,172
♪
168
00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,046
I can't believe it.
169
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:20,309
I'm about to do a non-work
activity with Olivia.
170
00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:21,702
Can you tell I'm excited?
171
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,268
Am-- Am I too excited?
Okay.
172
00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:26,010
What if I just make my face
be calm like this?
173
00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:28,926
Relax.
This is gonna be great.
174
00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:31,842
Lucky for you, I came here
to chew gum and make friends.
175
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,975
And I can't chew gum ever since
that giraffe kicked me
176
00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:35,411
in the face and my doctor said
177
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:38,588
my teeth could fall out
at any minute.
178
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:41,025
All right, let's get me
in fighting shape.
179
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:44,551
What do we do, like, drink
some raw eggs or something?
180
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,944
Well, we start each session
with some breathing exercises.
181
00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:48,642
Come on.
182
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,690
Think of your belly
as a balloon.
183
00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:57,825
[ Breathing sharply ]
184
00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:02,177
How am I gonna beat Nina
with belly balloons
185
00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:05,485
when she's doing that?
186
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:09,445
She's been in a full
Tom Cruise run for over an hour.
187
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:11,099
This helps with
our breath control.
188
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:14,058
Did you know that the first guy
who ran a marathon died?
189
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:15,712
You know what he died from?
190
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:17,845
Not breathing.
191
00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:19,020
Oh, great.
192
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:20,587
Now she's upping the incline.
193
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:23,546
[ Beeping ]
194
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:25,243
It's like she's
running up a wall.
195
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:27,942
♪
196
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:30,031
Bert's the head of maintenance,
so if anyone has the power
197
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,207
to keep that bench
where it is, she does.
198
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:33,948
Let me do all the talking.
- Gurgs, Gurgs, Gurgs, please.
199
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,950
A situation with stakes
this high
200
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:38,648
calls for a certain eloquence
and a delicate touch.
201
00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:39,693
Leave it to me.
202
00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:43,827
Mop or shovel?
203
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:46,613
Crap or puke?
204
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,266
She's all yours.
205
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,181
Hey, there, Bert!
206
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:52,444
We just wanted to stop by
and compliment you
207
00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:55,143
on how shiny the cafeteria
floors have been lately.
208
00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:56,753
Are you mocking me?
209
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:59,277
The day janitor
does the cafeteria floors.
210
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:00,627
He gets a fancy new buffer.
211
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:01,889
And you know what I get?
212
00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:04,500
A wet rat on a stick.
213
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,546
Tell you what. Let's just
cut out the sweet talk.
214
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,070
I hear you have the power
to save my bench.
215
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,637
In exchange for your help,
216
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:13,030
I'm willing to give you
my attorney services.
217
00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:15,032
Now, I can imagine
that someone like you
218
00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:17,034
has some unresolved
legal issues,
219
00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:20,298
like, for instance, say, uh,
an unregistered, exotic animal.
220
00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:24,389
I do have a tub gator that
my neighbors complain about.
221
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:25,477
Of course they do.
222
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:28,219
They miss their cats.
223
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:31,701
Now, we can make that go away
as long as my bench doesn't.
224
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:34,225
I get attached
to inanimate objects, too.
225
00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:35,705
I mean, I'm not one
of those weirdos
226
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:37,925
who marries a boat or anything.
227
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:40,797
Unless, um, do you know
any single boats?
228
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:43,452
- Wha--
- Not right now,
229
00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:48,500
but boats' girlfriends
always having accidents.
230
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,502
You got a deal.
I'll save your bench.
231
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:52,722
Oh, thank you.
And as we say in Louisiana,
232
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:55,595
"Laissez les bons temps
rouler," huh?
233
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:59,686
Did you just talk
Louisiana at me?
234
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,905
They eat alligators
in Louisiana!
235
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:04,125
You want to eat my sweet Todd!
236
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,257
You're never getting
that bench, man!
237
00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:08,738
Oh, come on!
238
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:11,828
You know what? Now I'm really
hungry for alligator.
239
00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:14,526
♪
240
00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:16,137
Mr. Martin, you were caught
241
00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:18,487
in the possession
of performance-enhancing drugs,
242
00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:20,620
and "what they did
to my downstairs
243
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:24,580
should be punishment enough"
is not an acceptable defense.
244
00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,887
I have before-and-after
pictures, Your Honor.
245
00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:30,151
Oh, I specifically told you
not to bring those.
246
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:31,587
I looked in the folder.
247
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:33,720
I saw them,
and now I can't unsee them.
248
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,288
$50 fine.
249
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:40,770
Take a breather, Neil.
Get yourself an apple juice.
250
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:42,467
Don't worry about
your bench, Dan.
251
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,513
I got my best guy
keeping eyes on it.
252
00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:49,605
Is your best guy
a weirder-looking Al Yankovic?
253
00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:51,302
Yeah, Sandy.
How'd you know?
254
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:53,043
Oh, 'cause he's standing
next to you holding a wrench,
255
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:55,393
not watching a bench.
256
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,178
You need to get
your ears checked.
257
00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:00,964
Now, those pills
you were caught with,
258
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:02,966
could they make me run faster?
259
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:04,533
And is rage really
a side effect?
260
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:07,579
Because I could stand to be
a little angrier.
261
00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,973
Olivia, this isn't
part of our training.
262
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:11,714
No offense to you.
You look great.
263
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:15,065
Your arms look like my legs.
264
00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:16,893
What are you doing?
- I'm done with Abby's training.
265
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:18,547
I need to find something
that gets results.
266
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:21,550
Y-You can't quit.
It's really important to Abby...
267
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,160
that you hang in there.
268
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,989
She's about to take training
to a whole nother level.
269
00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:28,383
You know, she starts out slow,
but then she enters
270
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:32,430
a new mode,
a-- a-- a beast mode.
271
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:34,171
The woman who apologizes
to her gavel
272
00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:37,261
when she bangs it too hard?
273
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,655
Yeah, that's just the surface,
but under that surface,
274
00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:43,615
she's a maniac,
ready to snap at any minute.
275
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:45,269
- That actually makes sense.
- Yeah.
276
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:48,185
You know she has zero
unread e-mails in her inbox?
277
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:51,101
That's a person with
real darkness inside them.
278
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:53,321
See you at the gym, Your Honor.
279
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:55,671
Looking forward to beast mode.
280
00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:58,239
Totally.
281
00:11:58,239 --> 00:12:01,198
What is she talking about?
282
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:04,288
I'd tell you, but I-I don't
want you to enter beast mode.
283
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,464
♪
284
00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:12,209
According to Merriam-Webster,
"Beast Mode" refers
285
00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:13,863
to the "aggressive,
animalistic persona
286
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:16,083
that one might assume
when in competition."
287
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:18,476
Okay. But just so you know,
quoting the dictionary is, like,
288
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:21,828
the least beast mode thing
you can do.
289
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,699
I mean, is this
really necessary?
290
00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:25,222
She wanted to do steroids.
291
00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:26,963
Well, that's not good for her.
292
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:28,530
Or her downstairs.
293
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:30,837
Ab, this is gonna work.
294
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:32,447
Because it's what she wants.
295
00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:34,623
It's like when we won Mitch over
to our trivia team,
296
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:36,799
by giving him what he wanted--
297
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:40,672
me buying a bunch of those
huge yarn dolls he makes.
298
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,239
My mom still has
a bunch of them.
299
00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:44,328
She's throwing them out,
but they keep coming back.
300
00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:49,029
But beast mode?
It's just not who I am.
301
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:51,031
Oh, really?
You were a beast in law school.
302
00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:52,554
Now look at you.
303
00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:54,034
You're one of the youngest
judges to ever sit
304
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:55,557
on the bench in New York.
305
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,994
And you binged all of
"Riverdale" in one day--
306
00:12:57,994 --> 00:13:00,257
without me, I might add!
307
00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:03,695
I can't pause to tell you what
young people are saying, Rand!
308
00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:07,874
Yeah, maybe I can do it.
309
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:09,745
Hey, Neil, drop and give me 20!
310
00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:12,313
I don't want to go down there.
It was mopped with a rat.
311
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,359
♪
312
00:13:15,359 --> 00:13:17,187
[ Snores ] Oh! Oh!
313
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:18,798
Ooh!
314
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,844
Sanford Day O'Connor,
you let me fall asleep!
315
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,541
And now Dan's bench is gone!
316
00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:25,456
Why'd you have to sing
those beautiful lullabies?
317
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:26,936
Hey, Gurgs!
318
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,677
Dan, I'm so sorry,
319
00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:31,506
but God blessed Sandy
with a beautiful gift.
320
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,725
♪ Lullaby ♪
321
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:36,163
I don't know why
you're doing that. Shh!
322
00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,468
All right, I gotta
show you something.
323
00:13:37,468 --> 00:13:40,210
Huh?
Timo and Carol's hook-up closet?
324
00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:42,996
No, everyone knows that's where
they got to make out and vape.
325
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:45,694
Not today.
326
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,478
I hid it in here while you guys
were sleeping.
327
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:50,046
Now all we have to do is take it
down the freight elevator,
328
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,787
which should be easy--
and poetic,
329
00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:53,702
'cause that was
Sorenson's emergency exit
330
00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:55,922
in case his secret family
ever showed up.
331
00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:02,276
What's this? "DTF 5/12."
332
00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:05,018
Oh, well, yeah, everybody's DTF
at the start of spring.
333
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:07,455
- No.
- Wait, there's no "T."
334
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:10,066
So what's "DF"?
335
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:12,199
Dan Fielding, all right?
336
00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:15,898
I carved it in there when I won
my first case in court.
337
00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:19,119
Ooh! Ooh!
Someone's coming!
338
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,381
Oh!
339
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:22,035
[ Irish accent ]
Top of the mornin' to you!
340
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:25,516
What brings you here?
341
00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:28,302
Cockroach party
in the freight elevator again.
342
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,652
That's why I brought
my stomping cleats.
343
00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:33,176
What are you two doing?
344
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:37,746
We were gonna just go
in the closet and vape.
345
00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:42,446
But you caught us, so thank you
for saving us from ourselves.
346
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:43,839
Gurgs, come on.
347
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:46,102
Let's go make some
healthy decisions.
348
00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:48,235
[ Normal voice ] Yeah.
349
00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:52,935
Keep it up!
Go! It's gonna be worth it!
350
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,371
Drink up, drink up,
drink up, drink up!
351
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:56,765
Hey, um, what are you doing?
352
00:14:56,765 --> 00:14:58,549
Uh, I'm handing out water
at the marathon,
353
00:14:58,549 --> 00:14:59,899
so I'm practicing.
354
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,204
You should sign up!
355
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:03,076
We could always use
more H-2-bros.
356
00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:04,904
Give it a try.
357
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,645
Rand, I don't think I need
to practice handing out water.
358
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:13,825
[ Coughs ]
359
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,610
Can I please take
a water break?
360
00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,133
Water's for losers!
361
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,700
And plants and animals
and all living things!
362
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,397
Go get some water!
363
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,881
- Hey, buttercup.
- What do you want, maggot?!
364
00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:27,839
So sorry, Rand.
Why are you all wet?
365
00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:30,842
Turns out Neil is really bad
with the water.
366
00:15:30,842 --> 00:15:32,235
But it looks like
this is going well.
367
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:34,324
"Well"?
Wells are for wishes, Rand.
368
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,848
I'm about results.
369
00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:38,241
You're scaring me
a little bit.
370
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:39,851
Okay.
So, first, I was being too nice,
371
00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:41,244
and now I'm not
being nice enough?
372
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:44,856
Wha-- Make up your mind,
skinny boy!
373
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:46,771
All right. Enough with
the proper hydration.
374
00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:48,904
We're moving on to weights.
- Do weights help with running?
375
00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:52,560
They seem to help
with running your mouth!
376
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,257
Start with this one.
377
00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:56,825
- Ab, that's a lot of weight.
- For your mom, maybe!
378
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:02,135
[ Grunting ]
379
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,400
Beast mode!
380
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,488
♪
381
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:11,840
♪
382
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:15,148
Well, um, look, I didn't want
to have to do this,
383
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,497
but I've run out of options.
384
00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:18,368
I need you to use
your judicial powers
385
00:16:18,368 --> 00:16:22,982
to declare a piece of furniture
my emotional support bench.
386
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,114
Do I look like
a local radio deejay to you?
387
00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:28,770
'Cause I don't take requests!
388
00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:31,425
Very sorry. I'm just coming down
from beast mode.
389
00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:33,253
This is why the only marathon
I've done
390
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:38,475
is 50 back-to-back episodes
of "Monk" on the USA Network.
391
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,869
The marathon isn't
to blame for this, I am.
392
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,437
I became a version of myself
I didn't like very much--
393
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,786
and I'm not even talking
about the version
394
00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:48,007
that gave me a herniated disc.
395
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,486
I didn't like the one that felt
396
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:51,967
that she needed Rand's advice
to make friends.
397
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,013
I think since I moved down here,
398
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:58,539
I've been able to do things
my way, and I liked it.
399
00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:01,455
If you know the kind of person
that you want to be,
400
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:04,240
you're miles ahead of most
of the people on this planet.
401
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,025
Yeah, sure, it might be
difficult adjusting
402
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:10,159
to the fact that, since you
moved, things are changing.
403
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:12,161
Probably difficult
for Rand, too.
404
00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:15,904
Gotta figure out how he fits
into your new life.
405
00:17:15,904 --> 00:17:18,515
Yeah. He definitely doesn't fit
into the jeans he got
406
00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:21,214
in the Meatpacking District.
407
00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:23,172
Change is part of life.
You either accept it,
408
00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:24,826
or one day a guy tries
to take your bench away,
409
00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:26,958
and you briefly consider
dressing it up
410
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:28,960
like a very tall,
weird-looking man
411
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:33,095
and sneaking it past a
near-sighted maintenance worker.
412
00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:37,578
- Is that a metaphor?
- I wish it were.
413
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:41,408
[ Knock on door ]
- Hey.
414
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:42,670
- Rand.
- Dan.
415
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:43,845
Mm.
416
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:45,629
I mean, it's insane.
417
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,892
He just lights up
when you're around.
418
00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:52,332
Hey, I'm really sorry
I made you do beast mode.
419
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:53,724
I just should've
stayed out of it.
420
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,335
You were just trying to help.
421
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:57,032
If Olivia doesn't want to be
friends with the me
422
00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:59,295
that does belly balloons, then...
423
00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:00,992
I can live with that.
424
00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:02,516
Looks like I'm gonna be
handing out water with you
425
00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:03,647
at the marathon.
426
00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:05,258
Hey, Neil signed up, too.
427
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,564
He's doing it to impress
some girl he has a crush on.
428
00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:09,479
She has a boyfriend,
but apparently he's, like,
429
00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:11,960
super tall and really annoying.
430
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:22,275
But, uh, you know,
Olivia will be happy to see us.
431
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:25,278
Wait. She told you
she's still running?
432
00:18:25,278 --> 00:18:28,411
Oh, whoa, whoa.
433
00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:30,239
Then I'm running, too.
434
00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:33,590
You're in a lot of pain
right now, aren't you?
435
00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:35,505
Tremendous amount.
436
00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:37,246
♪
437
00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:39,248
No! This bench stays!
438
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:40,815
- Gurgs!
- Dan!
439
00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:42,947
They found the bench,
but I saved it.
440
00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:44,732
And I can stay here for days.
441
00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:48,388
I just need protein bars,
a bucket, fun magazines--
442
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:51,478
I'm talking quizzes and lists
on surprising ways
443
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:54,176
to please my man.
444
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:57,658
It's okay, Gurgs, I called
them to come take the bench.
445
00:18:57,658 --> 00:19:00,313
Got to accept that we're going
into a new chapter here.
446
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:02,402
But we can't give up now.
We've come this far.
447
00:19:02,402 --> 00:19:03,925
What are you talking about?
We're a foot from
448
00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:06,319
where we started.
- I'm talking emotionally, Dan.
449
00:19:06,319 --> 00:19:08,147
This is a piece
of Dan Fielding history.
450
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,626
Don't you want
to at least say goodbye?
451
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,150
I'm not gonna say goodbye
to a bench.
452
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,368
I've been trying to save
this bench for a week.
453
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:13,978
You better say goodbye.
454
00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:15,632
Fine.
455
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,286
So, y'all take a five.
456
00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:18,983
Oh, if you're interested,
457
00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:23,205
there is a closet where
y'all can hook up and vape.
458
00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:26,730
Fine, here's $10
for some coffee, you prudes.
459
00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:29,690
Well, uh, okay.
460
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:32,693
What do you say to a bench?
Um...
461
00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,782
You were always stable.
You were solid.
462
00:19:34,782 --> 00:19:36,566
Most of all, you were silent.
You never once said,
463
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:38,742
"Hey, what did you get into
this weekend?"
464
00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:41,049
No, I always knew
that I could come here,
465
00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:44,966
sit down comfortably,
and read my paper,
466
00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:49,100
no matter how much things
changed around here.
467
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,451
And for that, thank you.
468
00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:54,105
Can I be done now?
- No.
469
00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:55,498
Go sit over there
and keep watch.
470
00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:57,021
I'm taking the Dan Fielding leg.
471
00:19:57,021 --> 00:19:59,502
We'll say it got damaged
in transit.
472
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:02,026
You know what, Gurgs?
No, no, wait, wait.
473
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,637
Do the other one, too,
because, you know,
474
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:04,768
I didn't carve anything
on there,
475
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:08,337
but now I'm thinking bookends!
476
00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:10,861
♪
477
00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:12,689
Oh, that's--
I can't believe
478
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:15,170
we didn't even make it past
the first mile marker.
479
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:16,693
Well, that's not true.
480
00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:20,610
When you fell,
your shoe went right over it.
481
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:22,873
If any part of my spine
was in the right place,
482
00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:25,180
I would hurt you right now.
483
00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:27,051
It was nice that Nina
waited with us
484
00:20:27,051 --> 00:20:28,488
until the medic got there.
485
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:31,055
Yeah.
Totally ruined her time.
486
00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:33,841
Couldn't have done it
without you.
487
00:20:33,841 --> 00:20:35,582
Can you take your hand
off my shoulder, please?
488
00:20:35,582 --> 00:20:37,453
I can't.
489
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,281
What's all this?
490
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:41,718
Well, I really wanted you
to at least have the experience
491
00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:43,024
of breaking through the tape.
492
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:44,373
So I called these guys.
493
00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:47,550
It was too last-minute
to get horses.
494
00:20:47,550 --> 00:20:48,595
Shall we?
495
00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:50,553
Let's do it.
496
00:20:50,553 --> 00:20:52,512
3, 2, 1!
497
00:20:52,512 --> 00:20:54,818
And they're off!
498
00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:56,690
♪
499
00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:58,996
Fresh water!
500
00:20:58,996 --> 00:21:01,172
♪
501
00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:03,566
Go! Go! Go!
502
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:06,090
Go!
503
00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:18,451
♪
504
00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:22,237
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
505
00:21:22,287 --> 00:21:26,837
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