All language subtitles for Batman S02E23 Marsha, Queen of Diamonds.DVDVRip.NonHI.en.WB

Another sparkling
day in Gotham City.

Look sharp, O'Toole.

With the Queen of Diamonds back
in town, we've gotta be on our toes.

Look up, O'Rourke. The diamond-dizzy dame
has been after the Pretzel Diamond for years.

She's bound to make a go for it.

Goldberg, look alive.

Chief O'Hara's instructions were to stop the
Queen of Diamonds no matter what the cost.

- Chief O'Hara.
- At ease, O'Leary.

Any trouble in here?

No, chief. Everything's fine.

- The Pretzel Diamond's still in there, is it?
- Yes, sir.

That's all I wanted to know.

The Queen of Diamonds.

Thank you, darling.

You're doing very well so far.

All I ask is the chance
to be near you, Marsha.

To bask in the light of
your adorable presence.

Yes, yes, darling, later.

Right now the diamond, remember?

Of course, my dear. Uh, oh.
Bring your men and follow me.

Yes, chief. O'Toole,
O'Rourke, Goldberg, follow me.

The Queen of Diamonds.

That's enough of that.

Don't you recognize me?

Why, it's Chief O'Hara.

And she's... She's...

No guided tours today, darling.

Chief, darling, the diamond.

Oh, yes, my dear.

- Bring us the Pretzel Diamond.
- But...

Or perhaps you want to be
arrested for obstructing the law.

There, my lovely.

Now you can't
doubt my sincerity.

This is proof of my devotion.

It's a start.

Alas, 'tis a pale thing
beside your own beauty.

Let's take the rock and let the
rhetoric go, shall we, darling?

Do you have a bag?

O'Leary, see that these
two don't make any trouble.

Yes, chief.

Anything you want in Gotham
City is yours, my lovely.

Take my life. Take
my love. Take my all.

Do be careful, sir.

There's no danger with
the power off, Alfred.

- You think we'll have to replace it, Batman?
- I certainly hope not, Robin.

There. You may turn
the power on, Alfred.

- Yes, I think it's going to work now.
- Lucky for us.

It takes six months to manufacture
another Bat-diamond that big...

even with a giant
hydraulic Bat-press.

Yes, it would be difficult,
especially since, for our purposes...

it has to be far more pure
than a natural diamond.

One moment, commissioner.

- It's Commissioner Gordon, sir.
- I'll take it on the Bat-extension up here, Alfred.

Yes, commissioner.

Well, there must be some mistake. We've all
known Chief O'Hara for years. He'd never...

I see.

The Queen of Diamonds.

Yes, it is serious. Perhaps far more
serious than any of us yet realize.

We'll be right
down, commissioner.

What's wrong with Chief O'Hara?

That, Robin, is a question I
hope we'll be able to answer.

That's right, commissioner.

Goodbye.

Was that all right?
Did I do it right?

Just fine, darling.

You're not going to keep
me in here, are you, my love?

Just for a little while.

Please, let me be near you.

I don't mind the cage,
as long as it's near you.

Don't worry, darling.

I'll visit you once a week.

Please, Marsha, it's too cruel.

Don't go, Marsha.

Don't go, Marsha.

It isn't fair, Marsha.

Stay near us, Marsha.

Marsha, please, come back.

- Marsha! Marsha!
- Come back!

Your report, Grand Mogul.

The usual, Your Highness.

One of your admirers attempted
suicide as proof of his devotion.

He threw himself into an automatic dryer and
tried to tumble himself to death, but failed.

How boring.

What have you found out
about the Bat-diamond?

We have ascertained...

that the Bat-diamond is used as a
power source for the Batcomputer.

It is well over
10,000 carats in size.

Magnificent.

Where is it kept?

In the Batcave, Your Highness.

- But no one knows where the Batcave is.
- I will know where the Batcave is.

In fact, I will be
inside the Batcave...

once I've sprung my little trap.

Is Cupid loaded?

I will attend to that
now, Your Highness.

Be quick about it.

We're expecting a guest.

Ready, Your Highness.

Good, good.

Now Cupid will
plant his little arrow...

where it'll do the most good.

Holy Houdini, where's
the commissioner?

I don't know, Robin, but it's not
like him. He knew we were coming.

Looks like Queen of Diamonds is
dealing from the bottom of the deck.

I'm afraid you may be right.

But all we can do is wait
till we hear from him...

and hope that he's
not walking into a trap.

Where is Chief O'Hara?

What have you done with
him, you diabolical Mata Hari?

If you've harmed a
hair on O'Hara's head...

- I'll have you in jail for the rest of your life.
- Don't be tiresome, darling.

Here, sit down
next to me and relax.

Your hanky-panky won't work
with me, young lady. I want O'Hara.

You don't find me
the least bit attractive?

Your charms are
useless, you evil temptress.

I'm not gonna dance
to your little tune.

Really?

My only concern is Chief
O'Hara. Where is he?

Ooh. Oh.

Oh, my...

Oh, my...

You are my only concern, Marsha.

You beautiful creature.

I'm yours to command.

That's better, darling.

Tell me more.

Commissioner Gordon's office.

Yes, commissioner, we'll
be right there. Don't worry.

The Queen of Diamonds has added
Commissioner Gordon to her list.

Holy hypnotism, what are
we getting ourselves into?

I don't know, Robin, but with Chief O'Hara
and Commissioner Gordon in her clutches...

we have no choice.

Now, don't be difficult,
commissioner, darling.

Don't leave me, Marsha.

I just want to gaze at
your beauty. I'll do anything.

I'll roll myself into a ball, you
can use me as your footstool.

Just don't ever leave me.

I'm sorry, darling.

I have to pay a visit to my dear
old Aunt Hilda in the basement.

She's mine. Mine.

Never, O' Hara! She's mine!

- Come back, Marsha!
- Come back, Marsha!

Double, double,
toil and trouble.

Bubble, bubble. Ah. Ha-ha-ha.

A notion, a potion, for making
a commotion. Ha-ha-ha.

I have a potion...

that will do anything
you want it to.

Really, Aunt Hilda? Don't you think
you're carrying this thing a bit too far?

Can't you let an old
lady have a little fun?

You go right ahead, darling,
and have all the fun you want to...

just as long as your
potions keep getting results.

Remember, I was a chemistry
professor at Vassar for 20 years, deary.

I remember. I also
remember they fired you.

Yes, I tried one of my
potions in the college cafeteria.

And it turned the entire
student body orange for a week.

That was before I
completed my research.

My potions are much better now.

Yes, they have been
getting good results...

but now I need a very special
potion for a very special purpose.

This is my best batch.
My very best batch.

It's just lovely, and I've even
added a pound of dugong blubber.

Is it powerful enough
to work on Batman?

Ooh. Batman is a special case.

Bats have a very strong
resistance to occult powers.

But if anything
will work, this will.

Pass me the salt, deary.

Cupid is loaded, Your Highness.

Good. Leave me now.

I'll clap if I need you.

Yes, Your Highness.

Come in.

Watch out, Batman.

The powers of darkness
reside in this room.

Holy harem, Batman. What a nest.

There's more here than
meets the eye, Robin.

Welcome, darling.

Welcome to my little flat.

Sit down. Make
yourselves comfortable.

We're not here to be comfortable,
Marsha. This is strictly a business call.

How very rude of you, Batman.

Batman's never rude to
a lady, but you're no lady.

She may not be a lady,
Robin, but she is a woman...

and as such, she
deserves some courtesy.

How very gallant of you, Batman.

Let's dispense with the mutual flattery,
Marsha. Where are Commissioner Gordon...

- and Chief O'Hara?
- How very irrelevant of you, Batman.

They're unimportant.

Let's talk about you and me.

We have nothing to
discuss in that area, Marsha.

We will, darling.

- We will.
- Watch out, Batman, she's up to something.

Ouch.

Unh.

- It's a dart.
- Poison.

Oh, not poison, darling.

Merely a disposition improver.

It's some kind of a drug, Robin.

It's bending my will.

- Batman.
- Marsha.

- Batman.
- Oh, Marsha.

- Batman.
- Marsha.

Fight it, Batman.

Come. I'm trying.

Robin, it's some kind
of love-inducing drug.

It's trying to bend
my will, Robin.

Ooh. To make me fall in love...

with Marsha.

Batman.

Holy fate worse than
death, you've got to resist it.

I am trying. I'm trying, Robin.

Don't try to fight it, darling.
Relax and worship me.

Worship me, I
said. On your knees.

I prefer to stand, Marsha.

Your drug didn't work.

You did it, Batman.

It wasn't easy, Robin.

It took every last
ounce of my willpower.

You mean you're
not in love with me?

I'm not even mildly interested.

Outrageous.

How dare you reject
Marsha, Queen of Diamonds?

This is insufferable
effrontery. Bah!

Carve them into camel food.

Yes, Your Highness.

No.

He's mine.

You adorable creature.

I'm yours to command.

Oh, no. Robin.

Here's your first command,
my young worshipper.

Stop that annoying
fellow in the blue cape.

Stop it, Batman.

Marsha said, stop it.

Do you hear?

Do you hear?

Robin, it's me, Batman.

Batman, Batman. What do I
care? You're annoying Marsha.

I'll fight you to the death.

All right, I'll stop.

Well done, darling.

Grand Mogul, take him
to the suitors' quarters.

- Don't touch him.
- Ah, ah!

One false move and your young
friend remains at my feet forever.

Only I can release him.

If he had more experience, he might
have been able to resist your drug...

but you took
advantage of his youth.

Cooperate or Robin
remains in my power forever.

All right, you win.

No, let me stay near
Marsha. I'm hers to command.

No, let me stay!

Don't worry, Robin, I'll get
you out of this somehow.

Well, Batman, what
is he worth to you?

This is not a joke. I'd
give my life for that boy.

Oh, the price isn't
nearly that high, darling.

I merely want the
gigantic Bat-diamond...

that powers the Batcomputer.

It's yours.

But first you'll have to give
Robin the antidote for that drug.

No, no, no, not so fast.

I want to appropriate that
diamond myself personally.

I wanna go into the
Batcave and get it.

That's impossible.

Remember what's at stake.

I couldn't do that,
not even for Robin.

I made a sacred vow that no
stranger would ever enter the Batcave.

And knowing you, you'd never
break that vow, would you?

Absolutely not.

In that case, we'll have to figure
out a way to get me into the Batcave...

without breaking
your vow, won't we?

That can't be done.

Oh, where there's
a will, there's a way.

Now, let's see.

You made a vow that no
stranger would enter the Batcave.

- What if I weren't a stranger?
- What do you mean?

What if I were Mrs. Batman?

Marry you?

Why not, darling?

As your wife, I'd have every
right to go in the Batcave.

You must be joking.

I never joke, darling.

Besides, one vow
deserves another.

Now, think of Robin.

Not to mention Commissioner
Gordon and Chief O'Hara.

Unless we become a happy couple, those
three will spend the rest of their lives...

following me around
on their knees.

I have no choice.

Wonderful, darling.

Yes, Your Highness?

Batman and I are to be
married this afternoon.

Make all the necessary
arrangements.

Yes, Your Highness.

Marsha, Queen of Diamonds.

Mrs. Batman.

Ha-ha-ha, how marvelous.

This has been quite
a day in Gotham City.

First, the unexplained
disappearance of Police Chief O'Hara.

Followed by the disappearance
of Commissioner Gordon.

And now to top it all off...

the announcement that Batman will
marry the Queen of Diamonds this afternoon.

Who knows what will happen next
on this strange and baffling day?

Who knows indeed?

As if anything could possibly matter
after Batman has married that woman.

I'd venture to say, madam, that Batman
has been coerced in some fashion.

He'd never submit to such
a thing of his own free will.

Oh, I quite agree
with you, Alfred.

I'm sure there's
skullduggery afoot.

- Question is, what to do about it.
- You mean we should do something?

Uh... Why, yes,
of course, madam.

After all, we are
citizens of Gotham City.

Heaven knows Batman has done
enough for all of us in the past.

Oh, more than enough.

But what can we do if
Batman himself couldn't stop it?

Well, we must try
and think of something.

Oh, I wish Bruce were here.

I'm sure he could
think of something.

I'm not at all
sure that he could.

- I take it you're the best man?
- Yes.

It's time for the groom.

In case you've forgotten the
ring, Batman, I have six extras.

I made a bargain
and I'll stick to it.

Anything is better than to let
Robin go through life the way he is.

It's natural to be a
little nervous, darling.

Everyone is, the first time.

Robin had better be all right.

Oh, he's perfectly safe
as long as you cooperate.

By the way, have you decided where
we're going to spend our honeymoon?

Not a very cheerful
groom, are you?

I'll be perfectly happy to spend
my honeymoon in the Batcave.

Dearly beloved, we are
gathered here today...

Batman, to become a
henpecked husband?

And Mrs. Batman, Gotham
City's arch-criminals?

Do you, Marsha, take this Batman
to be your lawful wedded husband?

To love, honor, and obey
as long as you both shall live?

I do.

And do you, Batman, take this
woman to be your lawful wedded wife?

To love, honor, and cherish
as long as you shall live?

I...

- I...
- Say, "I do."

I...