All language subtitles for The Flying Nun s03e16 Armando and the Pool Table.eng

♪♪

[barking]

♪♪

Five, no trump.

Five, no trump?

Now, Sister Bertrille,
have you flipped?

I double.
I redouble.

She flipped.

I'm dummy.

Was there any doubt?

Hey.

Aren't there some spades
among your clubs?

Clubs?

And now that I look
at them...

Oh, this deck
is such a wreck,

you can't even call
a spade a spade.

Look at that. Look. Is that
a jack or worn-out queen?

What are you doing?

It's time to visit Carlos,
our friendly used-card dealer.

It is a gift.

And I'm telling you,
if you Shriners don't take it,

I'm gonna give it
to the Elks.

Oh.
You don't have room, huh?

Well, that's exactly
what the Elks said.

They don't have room either.

No, no, no.
I don't have the room.

It's standing
in the middle of my office,

and I cannot leave
until I dispose of it.

Hi, Carlos.
On second thought,

I think I'm leaving right now.
Thank you anyway.

Sister Bertrille,
it was very nice to see you.

I'm leaving right now
on a business trip.

Oh, well, it's lucky
I caught you in time.

Not in time,
I turn all my money

into traveler's checks.

Well,
I don't want any money.

Oh, no?

What is it this time?
My soul again?

I'd like a replacement
for these.

All you want
is a fresh deck of cards?

Yes. I know it's our second one
this year, Carlos,

but we play
very rough game of bridge.

I know, I know.
Here you are.

Thank you.
Mm-hm.

Bye-bye.
Bye.

Hold it.

I don't think
you should be playing cards.

That's what Sister Jacqueline
says, but--

I am going to make

a real contribution
to the convent.

Sister Bertrille,
what do you think of this?

Well, it looks
like something I saw

in a modern museum
pop art exhibit

entitled
"Infinity in Green."

What's this called?

Try "Pool Table Standing
in My Office."

Pool t--
Well, that's what it is.

That's what it is.

And it was willed to me

by the late Mr. Corso.

Absolutely top quality,

and I'm donating it
to the convent

instead of a deck of cards.

A pool table
in the convent?

A pool table
in the convent.

Carlos, can I have
my cards back?

♪♪

♪♪

Armando,
did I not forbid you

to jump off of rooftops
last week.

No, Reverend Mother.

Last week you forbid me
to swing from tree branches.

That's when I was thinking
of becoming a trapeze artist.

Armando, these activities
are dangerous.

Of course, that is why people
in these professions

make much money.

I must think of my future.

At the moment, you must think
of sweeping out the cellar.

Is that a profession?

No. That is a punishment.

Sister Jacqueline.

I know,
Reverend Mother.

Take him to the cellar
and get him a broom.

And try to make certain

that he does not try
to fly away on it. Hmm?

Yes, Reverend Mother.

Come on.

Hi, Armando. How are you?
Not so good.

They're grounding me,
Sister Bertrille.

No.
We're undergrounding him.

Let's go, Batman.

Oh, dear.

I do not know
what we are going to do

with that young man.

I know he's going through
a daredevil phase,

but if we do not get his feet
back on the ground,

I fear that he's gonna land
on his head one day.

Reverend Mother,
it's a sign from heaven.

What is a sign from heaven?

The perfect answer
to the problem of Armando.

And to think that Señor Corso
willed it to Carlos

just what I had to see him
about a new deck.

It proves God moves
in mysterious ways.

However mysterious

God's ways may be,
Sister Bertrille,

at the moment,
I'm totally mystified by yours.

I do not know what on Earth
you are talking about.

Oh. The pool table.

The pool table?

Carlos has just donated
a pool table to the convent.

Has he?
Yes.

Well, he can
just un-donate it.

Well, Reverend Mother,

this could bring Armando
back down to earth,

a great recreation
for the Sisters.

Sister Bertrille,
this is a teaching order,

not a pool parlor.

I am happy to report

that Armando's wings
have been clipped.

Temporarily.

Sister Jacqueline,
Sister Bertrille feels

that we might cure Armando's
space fever with a pool table

that Señor Ramirez
has just donated to the convent.

Hey, how about that?
Hey, how about that?

Sister Jacqueline.

Well,
it's a great recreation.

I've had that one too.
Oh.

Do you really think
we should allow

someone of Armando's age
to play pool?

Well, I started playing pool
before I could walk.

I beg your pardon?
[Bertrille] It's true.

Her uncle owned a pool parlor
when she was a baby.

Oh, and Reverend Mother,
it's--

It's fantastic for the muscles,
I'm telling you.

But not for the heart.

Sister Bertrille, my office
is not the place to play pool.

How about the dining room?

The dining room
has a table already.

[Bertrille] I have this fantastic idea.

We could eat
off the pool table.

It already has
a built in table cloth,

holes where you could put
the silverware,

the napkins,
and it's a rotten idea.

[glasses clink]
[billiard balls thud]

Uh-oh. Heh.

I think Armando
is in a pickle again.

In the pickles, to be exact.

Must have knocked over
one of our jars.

It's a sign from heaven.

You seem to be seeing signs
from heaven everywhere,

from the sky to the cellar.

Well, that's what I mean,
in the cellar.

The cellar. Of course.

Oh, good idea.

Take out the pickles
and put it in the pool table.

♪♪

[narrator]
And so where the briny pickle had reigned,

the billiard ball
now rolled.

Instead of bridge,
it was pool.

But sometimes I wondered

if we had left the dummies
behind.

[whistles]

You're next, Sister Sixto.

Okay. Uh...

Which one is the cute ball?

There,
and it's not a cute ball.

It's a cue ball.

Oh. I think it's also cute.

Here goes two pillow shot.

Two cushion shot.

[Bertrille] Here comes Armando.

Right into our parlor.

Hi, Armando.

Hi, Sister.
Can I have the broom?

Oh. The broom. Right here.

What do you need it for?

Tightrope walking.

Oh.

Well, how do you like
to play pool?

I don't know how.

Well, Sister Jacqueline here
can teach you.

Heh. Well, there's nothing
to it, Armando.

Now, first,

you take the cue stick
like this.

You loop the tip like this,
and...

Boom.
[balls clatters]

You see?
It's a lead-pipe cinch.

Next...

You pick out a ball
you wanna pocket,

and you call it.

As...

Five ball
in the corner pocket.

Well, would you like

to take a crack at it?

The Reverend Mother says
for me to keep busy down here.

Well, you can keep busy
with the cue stick.

Thank you,
but I'll stick to the broom.

Here you are, señor.

Thank you, Sister.

And thank
the Reverend Mother

for indulging
an old man's will.

Ah, Sisters.

A thousand pardons
for this intrusion.

May I present myself.

Emilio Gomez
at your service.

How do you do?
Hello.

I recently returned
to San Tanco

and I came upon
Señor Carlos Ramirez.

Uh...

Here she is.

Oh.

Skin like satin.

Oh, you know, Sisters,

I was a good friend
of Señor Corso.

And you recognize
his pool table?

Recognize it?

Does an eagle recognize
its nest?

Does a mother recognize
her child?

All the years,
Señor Corso and I

have played on this table.

Till he was called
to his reward.

But no matter where he is,

he is not playing
on a better table.

Mm-hm. May I?

Be our guest.

Thank you.

Hmm.

♪♪

Huh.

Wowee.

Well, you handled that stick
like a real pro, señor.

I may say that I have been
in the record books.

1951, 1952,

'54, '58, '59.

[chuckles]
[Sixto] Oh, my, Mr. Gomez,

you're a real chimp.

Champ.

It's a shame, señor,

with all your skill
that you couldn't teach.

But, of course, I can teach.
Would you like to learn, Sister?

Oh, no, I think
it's a little much for me.

[Gomez] Nonsense, I can teach
a child to play this.

Could you teach me, sir?

Why not? If you have two arms
and you are breathing.

I can teach you.

And I'm breathing.

♪♪

[narrator]
So Señor Gomez started to teach Armando,

and Armando learned well.

In fact, Armando got too good
for his own good.

Congratulations.

You are now champion pool player
of the Convent San Tanco.

Well, that's one
for the record books.

Well, it's only the beginning.
When I'm finished,

I'm gonna be the greatest
pool shark in the whole world.

[sighs]

He has not been doing
very well lately.

Armando?

Why, he's been doing great.

His English on the ball
is sensational

and his reverse shots--

I am speaking about
his school work,

not his pool work.

[clears throat]

Spelling, poor.

History, poor.

Reading, poor.

Geometry, excellent.
There, you see?

He's learning a lot of angles
from playing pool.

I suspect that Armando knows
all the angles he needs.

However, his schoolwork
has been avoided

due to his preoccupation
with pool.

We must give up the pool table,
and he must give up the game.

Oh, he's just crazy
about it.

That is my decision,
Sister Bertrille.

The pool table
out of the cellar,

the pickles back
into the cellar.

Yes, Reverend Mother.

Um...

Can I try and cure him
of his love for the game

before we get rid
of the table?

[sighs]

Very well,
Sister Bertrille.

Thank you,
Reverend Mother.

I am going to a parish
council meeting today,

and I will return
tomorrow night.

I trust that will not
be too short of time

to affect a cure.

Oh. No, Reverend Mother.

♪♪

Not if you believe
in miracles.

♪♪

Thank you. You see, we're all
in trouble. The only difference

between us and Armando
is he doesn't know it.

We've just got to find a way
to stop him from playing pool.

Sister, I understand
your problem.

When I was Armando's age,

my mother tried to stop me
from playing pool also.

What did she do?

She broke a cue stick
over my head.

That didn't seem to
discourage you very much.

What did your father feel
about it?

Oh, terrible.
It was his cue stick.

Your father played pool?

Sister, it is my sorrow
to tell you

that I come from a family
of pool hustlers.

Pool hustlers?
Yes.

You see, you'll get people
to bet against you,

and you lose.

Then when the stakes
are high enough, you win.

Oh, the tension.
Is there tension?

Tension? What do you think
turned my hair white?

I'm only 72.

I think you put your finger
on the very thing

that's gonna break up
the Armando cue stick romance.

Tension.
If there is anything I can do.

You can tell me who's the very
best pool player in San Tanco.

No. The best,
that is me of course.

But I have retired
from competition.

Well, then who's the second best
unretired?

That would be Carlos.

Carlos Ramirez?

He has the eye of an eagle,

hands sure and steady
as a surgeon's,

magnificent reflexes.
He has?

Sister, that is not just
only my opinion.

It is also his opinion.

[narrator]
And so Sister Bertrille zoomed off

in the direction
of San Ramos,

where Carlos had gone
on his business trip.

She couldn't drive there
for two reasons.

One, the Reverend Mother
had taken the station wagon,

and two,
San Ramos was an island.

You see, Carlos, Armando
is failing in his studies

on account
of your pool table.

So you're obligated
to help him. Morally.

Oh. That wouldn't convince him.

That didn't even convince
the bird.

♪♪

Mm, that's good.

My childhood ambition
was to be a masseur.

Mm.

I might yet apply
for a license.

Speaking about licenses...

Mm, me and my big mouth.

Where do people get married
in San Ramos?

Nobody gets married
in San Ramos.

It's a rest spot, darling.

But I'm not tired.

Mm.

Well, I have a feeling

it's getting
a little too hot out here.

I'll see you later.

Oh. Carlos, I found you.

My feeling was right.

I ran into a bellboy
at the hotel

who knew just where you were.
Wasn't that lucky?

Mm-hm. Not for
the bellboy, it wasn't.

Oh, Sister Bertrille,

this is Miss Preem,
my secretary.

She's all brains.

She does the work
of five computers.

Darling, would you wait for me
at the lobby?

I'll see you there when
the little hand is on the two

and the big hand
is on the six.

Well, Sister Bertrille,

it's very nice
to have seen you again.

Have a very nice flight back.
Oh, boy, did your pool table

get us into trouble.
No guarantee

came with the merchandise.

Now, maybe it was all right

for George Washington
and Al Capone,

but it's rotten for Armando.

I have a plan and I need
your help. First of all...

[narrator]
Sister Bertrille's plans,

like most everything
about her

were filled
with good intentions.

But unorthodox,
most unorthodox indeed.

Just think of it.

Yesterday, pool champion
of just the convent.

Today, pool champion
of the whole city.

If he beats
the present champion.

Well, he can't lose.
It's just Carlos.

You can play rings around him,
can't you, champ?

I will if you'll give me
my fingers back.

Oh.
[chuckles]

Sorry.
Now, Armando,

when you are a pool player,
you have no friends,

only opponents, understand?

Oh. Here's our referee.

Hello, Señor Gomez.
How are you?

Very well.

Señor Armando.

Señor Gomez.

I welcome you to the world
of bigtime pool.

May the best player win.

That's you, champ.

Today you take the town,
tomorrow the world.

Here comes
the opposition.

Sister Bertrille.
Sister Jacqueline. Sister Sixto.

How have you been?

Armando, how are you?

Nice to see you, my boy.

I'm so glad you're here,

especially right now.

You are going to watch
a great pool player in action.

There is some amateur

who got the crazy idea
they can beat me.

The Minnesota Fats
of San Tanco.

Crazy, huh? Hmm.

Watch me put him away.

Okay, Sister Bertrille,
where is my challenger?

Got cold feet
at the last moment?

Here he is. Armando.

Hmm. Run out, huh?

I thought so.

I--

Armando?

The Minneapolis Skinny

of the convent.

What is this? Some kind
of a joke or something?

We'll see how much of a joke
when the game is over.

Armando happens to be
a regular pool herring.

You mean shark.

I mean he's a whale
of a pool player.

I'll put him away in the time
it takes to sneeze.

Would you like to put a little
money where your mouth is?

Don Carlos--
Uh-uh-huh.

When you play pool,
you don't touch opponents.

Now, since I'm here,
I might as well go through

with the rest of the comedy.

But Sister Bertrille,
don't think

that I'm going to forget
about this very easily.

Thank you,
Sister Jacqueline.

I have never seen Don Carlos
so angry, Sister Bertrille.

He's not angry.
He's scared.

Excuse me,
Sister Bertrille.

Were you the Sister
speaking about putting money

where our patron's mouth is?

Yes, I'm the one.
Thank you, Sister.

About how much
did you have in mind?

About six small ones.

Six dollars?
Correct.

We'll cover.

Good.

Hey, ref, hold the bets.

Oh, por Dios.
You're betting on me.

Of course, all the nuns
in the convent are in on it.

You always bet on your man
in a match.

This is bigtime pool.

I don't like that.

You don't?
No.

Don Carlos will lose $6

and hate me even more.

[sighs]

Nine in the corner pocket.

♪♪

An itch.
Scratch.

Five in the corner.

Fourteen in the corner.

One in the side.

Bank shot on the three.

[Gomez] The winner is Carlos Ramirez.

I lost your money.

All the nickels and dimes
and pennies

you Sisters
have been saving up.

Easy come, easy go.
Sister Bertrille.

Next time, don't send a boy
to do a man's job.

Hernandez, give Sister Bertrille
her money back.

Oh, no, you keep it.

You were just lucky.

We would now like a rematch.

They are entitled.

But, Sister Bertrille,
you saw how badly I lost.

Beautifully, champ,
beautifully.

You're a real hustler.
Now I know what they mean

when they call them pool sharks.
You got them hooked.

Gentlemen,
perhaps you would like

to make the betting
a little more interesting.

How interesting?
You name it.

We can accommodate you
up to $5000, Sister.

Five big ones it is.

Sister!

Oh, we don't usually carry
that much cash around,

but we can put up
the golden candlesticks

which are worth 10 grand.

Where are they?

Start the game.
I'll bring them down.

Sister Bertrille!
You're not gonna bet

the golden candlesticks.

Look, we've suckered him
into the big one,

now we can clean up.

Go get him, tiger.

♪♪

[Bertrille whistling]

Sister Bertrille.

Reverend Mother,
you're back early, I think.

Where are you going
with those candlesticks?

Candlesticks?

What candlesticks?

Oh, these candlesticks.

Well, we didn't have
enough light.

Enough what?

Well, actually, we're gonna
clean up with these--

Clean these up for you.

Sister Bertrille, I believe
you should have enough to do

without
cleaning candlesticks.

Getting Armando back
to his schoolwork

should keep you busy.

Oh, it does.

How is he doing?

Well, he's learning his lesson
right now.

[indistinct yelling]

Is that pool table
still in the cellar?

It's on its way out,
Reverend Mother.

[yelling continues]

[balls thudding]

So that is how
he is studying his lesson.

Well, he is not just studying.
He's graduating.

Well...

So you see, by betting
the candlesticks on him,

we show him pool isn't
what it's racked up to be--

Cracked up to be. I mean
that being champion means more

than just crew stick--

Cute stick-- Cue stick.

Sister Bertrille,
you are not making any sense.

When I gave you permission
to work out a solution,

I did not expect you
to go to such lengths.

Armando.
Put that stick down.

Reverend Mother.
Thank you, thank you.

I don't wanna play pool
anymore.

I don't wanna be
a pool champ.

I just wanted to do my homework
and go to school.

It's all
Sister Bertrille's fault.

She forced me into this.

Sister Bertrille, apparently,
your motives are good,

but your methods leave
much to be desired.

Oh, thanks, champ.

I mean, thank you,
Reverend Mother. Heh.

I think.

♪♪

Mr. Gomez promised to give
the pool table a good home.

So I hope your troubles
are over.

We can't thank you
for the trouble you've gone to.

You've done a wonderful job.
It was worth it.

Well, Armando,

are you gonna be pool player
when you grow up?

[Armando] No, Don Carlos.

Not a pool player,
nor a paratrooper,

nor a trapeze artist.
No, sir.

Oh, Carlos, you've just done
a wonderful job.

Thank you.
We're truly grateful.

You have done a wonderful job.
It was nothing.

When I grow up,
I'm gonna be a gambler

like my friend, Don Carlos.

[unison]
You have done a wonderful job.

♪♪

♪♪

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