All language subtitles for The Flying Nun s02e22 Happy Birthday, Dear Gaspar.eng

♪♪

[barking]

[Jacqueline] They say all roads
lead to Rome.

That is,
all except the ones used

by our illustrious captain
of police, Gaspar Fomento.

Those roads lead to trouble.

If the driveway
is not repaired in 2 days,

I shall be forced
to issue a citation.

Because of a crack or two,
Captain?

Oh, they give
a driveway character.

Yes, they're time's
little beauty marks.

Beauty marks?

Do you see this
gold filling, huh?

No, I--I don't see
a gold filling.

Of course you don't.

It was knocked loose when
I went over that beauty mark.

Oh, now, Captain.

Aren't you exaggerating
just a little bit?

Oh, you think so? Sister,
would you mind coming with me

just for one moment,
please?

Not that a police captain
has to prove anything,

but I will prove to you that
that is a rut.

You will see that I do not
indulge in idle,

uh, accusations.

Now, honestly, Sister,
did you ever...

Well, Captain,
when you're right, you're right.

That was a rut.

Captain Fomento, I agree.

The driveway
should be repaired.

But in two days?

The rut has been there
for three weeks

and no one has been hurt
so far.

Would you like to look
at a cavity

that was not there
yesterday?

I beg your pardon?

Right...

He lost a filling
when he hit the rut.

I'm sorry, Reverend Mother.

I do not make the laws.
I just enforce them.

However,
when I issue an order,

not even the President himself,
uh, can change my mind.

I said two days,
and two days it is.

Captain, you're lighting
the wrong end.

On purpose.

Every diet should include
a little charcoal.

[police officer] Fomento?

Oh,

Reverend Mother, Sister,
is something the matter?

Well, um, it is their driveway,
Chief Galindo.

I had to invoke, um,
article 36, paragraph four.

However, I gave them two days
to have the rut repaired.

Why so short a time?
Hmm?

[Galindo] What harm does
a little crack do, anyway?

Sisters,
take all the time you need.

Thank you, Chief Galindo.

I assure you
that we will try to

have the rut repaired
as soon as possible.

Good day.

Will the Chief
give me one good reason

why he countermanded
my order?

It was rigid,
arbitrary and foolish.

I only asked for one reason.

If the Chief doesn't need me,
I will retire.

I do need you.

At your service, sir.

Go to the bakery store

and get me half-a-dozen
kaiser rolls.

Oh, well, the boy will be
so disappointed, Señor Ortiz.

Uh, are you sure
you can't make it?

San Marcos is
only an hour flight, huh.

[Señor Ortiz] Tell little Gaspar
I see him soon.

Yeah, I see.

Well, maybe you can make up
for his 11th birthday.

Okay. Bye.
Bye.

Oh, wow, little Gaspar's uncle
can't come.

Oh, it's no big tragedy,
Sister Bertrille.

An uncle at a surprise party

is like a square pig
in a round hole.

That's peg.

Pig, peg, a children's party
is for children.

I remember my own parties.
All those games.

Um, Red Rover,
Hide and Seek,

Paste the Tail
on the Donkey...

That's Pin the Tail
on the Donkey.

No, paste.

We did not wish
to hurt our donkey.

Half-a-dozen kaiser rolls.

Anything else, Capitan?

No, Dyquisto, that is all.

Oh, eclairs
in this warm weather?

Um, are they safe?

From what?

Well, shouldn't they
be under refrigeration?

Highly perishable merchandise,
Dyquisto.

Si,I can see one
perishing now.

Mm.

[paper ruffling]

"Happy birthday,
dear Gaspar?"

Dyquisto, who--
who ordered that cake?

Oh, Sister Bertrille
of the convent.

It's for a surprise party
tomorrow.

It cannot be.
I took the order myself.

[mumbling]

Of course. My 40th birthday.

Dyquisto,
that cake is for me.

So if you are getting
a whole cake,

why are you inspecting
my eclairs?

Imagine those nuns
giving me a surprise party.

Me. But why me?

That's a good question.

I tell you why, hmm.

Because these are
the true Sisters of Mercy.

That'll be 60 cents
for the rolls, Capitan.

Oh, Dyquisto, I have
learned a lesson today.

A lesson of humility.

I have been permitted
to stand in the presence

of true beauty,

but not only
the beauty of the heart,

but of the soul.

Dyquisto?

Yes?

I insist on paying
for that eclair.

Good morning, SeñorRamirez.

[laughing]

Good morning, Captain Fomento.
What can I do for you?

Uh, for me? Nothing.
Oh?

But as long as I'm here,

I would like to
ask you a question.

Um, you are, um,
quite close

with the sisters of the convent,
is that not so?

What do you think
they have done this time?

Nothing.

That's a pretty package.
This is a gift.

Sister Bertrille is coming
to pick it up.

Is that right?
Mmm-hmm.

It's for a celebration they're
having at the convent tomorrow.

A celebration?
Mmm-hmm.

Oh, how wonderful.

And you bought
the present, huh? Yes.

You're a very generous man.

Thank you.
Thank you.

What for?

Uh, may I show you
a card trick, huh? Please?

Please. Uh, thank you.

[mumbling]

[exclaiming]

You will pick a card,
any card.

And put it anywhere
in the deck. Okay.

Now, with good luck, your card
should be coming up face up.

[Bertrille] This is a raid.

Sister Bertrille,
how nice to see you.

I know. You're going to arrest
me for breaking and entering.

Oh, what a sense
of humor. Ha, ha, ha.

Oh, in regard to the driveway,
take all the time you need.

Well, it might take
at least a week.

So what? Two weeks,
three... A month.

Well, goodbye, SeñorRamirez,
and goodbye, dear Sister.

I imagine we will be
seeing each other

in the near future, huh?
Huh, huh?

Until we meet again.

What's with him?

I don't know. Maybe he
has a tick in his eye.

Here, the present
for little Gaspar.

Oh, thank you, Carlos.

I don't know how we'd
get along without you.

Just because
of a child's present?

Why, when a little boy
needs a bathrobe,

you buy it for him.
Why not?

When a party needs
entertainment, you volunteer.

Oh, I try my best to...

Wait a minute.
To entertain? What can I do?

I know a few amusing stories

but I don't think
they're fit for children.

Wait a minute.

I have the right person
and he's available.

Who?
Captain Fomento.

[sighs]
Oh, I don't think

a lecture on the great criminals
of the world is my...

He does card tricks.

Now the question is,

how are they going
to get me to my party?

How many guesses
do I have?

That was just a rhetorical
question, Salazar.

I think I know
how the simple mind works.

They will probably first come
here and ask me for a favor,

for the children, of course.

Then they will ask me over
to lecture for the children

on, uh, um, great criminals
of the world, or...

[knocking on door]

Sister Bertrille.
What can I do for you?

A small favor.
Oh, a small favor?

Yes. It's for a little boy
at the convent.

A little boy?

Yes. We're giving him
a birthday party tomorrow,

but we don't want him
to know anything about it.

Oh, believe me.
Your secret is safe with me.

[Bertrille] He's the cutest little fellow.

He is?
Yes. I was wondering

if you could come to the convent

and do a few card tricks
for the children.

For the children?

[Fomento] Anything for the children. Yes.

Oh, swell. Then I'll see you
at 6:00 tomorrow.

Okay, goodbye, Salazar.
Bye, Captain.

They are as transparent
as this window,

if you should ever get around
to washing it.

Now, I figure with the children,
the sisters and the guests,

we'll need about
five plum pies.

Oh. How many plums
have you picked so far?

[Jacqueline chuckling]

Would you settle
for two plum tarts?

Well, there's the problem.

All the good plums are on
the top of the branches.

[exclaiming]

[sisters exclaiming]

[groaning]

Show me another airline

that ships fruit
right from the trees.

[chuckling]

Sister.

Why, Captain, aren't you
a little bit early?

The party's not
until tomorrow. Well, Sister,

I found an extra bag
of cement in my garage.

So I said to myself,
"Fomento,

"why don't you take
it up to the convent

"and help to repair
the driveway?"

Oh, well,
that's very nice, Captain,

but we couldn't
pay you for it and...

Pay me? Pay me?

It is the least
I can do for you.

Ooh! Plums.
Yes.

We just picked them,
for the pies for tomorrow.

Plum pie?
That's my favorite pie.

You have been
talking to my mother, huh?

What do you mean?

Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing.

[gaspar] Hi, Sister Bertrille.
Do you like it?

Oh, yeah.
Wow, that's fantastic.

Isn't that cute?

His uncle bought him a...
A new outfit for his birthday

and he couldn't wait
till tomorrow to put it on.

His birthday is tomorrow?
Yes.

That's the little boy

we're giving
the surprise party for.

[stuttering]
What is the cute little fellow's name?

Gaspar, just like yours.

[sighing]
This is... Surprise party.

[stuttering]
That's very, very nice, especially for an orphan boy.

Good day, Sister.

[twig snapping]

[thudding]

Hey, Sister.
According to article 21,

paragraph seven
of the health code,

it is a violation
to serve unwashed fruit.

Be careful.

[car engine starting]

[bell tinkling]

Good morning.

Ah. Good morning, Sisters.

Oh, I'm so sorry, but your cake
isn't quite ready yet.

What with all the
extra decorations...

What extra decorations?

We just had the name
and the border of roses.

Ah! But under "Happy birthday,
dear Gaspar",

Capitan Fomento wanted
a police badge under crossed...

"Captain Fomento wanted"?

Yeah, of course, it was
supposed to be my idea.

I think you're
a little mixed up.

I sure am mixed up.

And instead of the roses

he wanted a spray
of white violets.

And since
the party's for him...

Captain Fomento?

Thought the surprise party...
Was for him?

What a bummer.

Why don't we just
invite Captain Fomento

and make it a party
for both Gaspars?

Well, wouldn't the Captain feel
he was just an afterthought?

But he's coming anyway.
No.

He knows that we know that he
thought the party was for him.

And since we know
he knows what we know,

how can we
possibly ask him?

Isn't that what you meant,
Sister Jacqueline?

Oh. It is?

Y-yes, you're right, Sisters.
With all of his faults,

Captain Fomento is a man of, uh,
deep pride and sensitivity.

I don't think we're talking
about the same Captain Fomento.

[telephone ringing]

Hello?
Yes, Captain Fomento.

Oh, I-- I'm sorry

that you won't
be able to make it.

Well, we'll regret it
even more than you.

Yes, good day.

[sighing]See?

We are dealing with a man
of sensitivity and pride.

Apparently.

[Reverend Mother] And as I see it,
the only chance

that we have of not crushing
the poor man's spirit,

is to make him think

that the party
was for him all along.

What about little Gaspar?

Well, I think he's less
of a child than Captain Fomento.

Sisters, we have had
dilemmas before

and we've always
gotten an answer.

[telephone ringing]

Hello? Yes.

Oh... Wha--

Why, SeñorOrtiz,
that is a marvelous idea.

Oh, you have no idea
what it means to us.

Yes. Just as soon
as possible. Yes.

Good day, senor.

That was our solution.

Gaspar's uncle wants him
to fly to San Marcos

to see him today.

And as he owns
an amusement park,

I hardly think that it's
too much of a sacrifice.

Oh, that's terrific.

It's like having
our own private hotline.

Hello, Captain.
Good morning.

For some it is
a lovely morning,

but for others
it is always blue Monday.

Ooh, well, why don't you
tell the Captain

what you're doing
for your birthday, Gaspar.

I'm visiting my uncle
in San Marcos.

I suppose it is
important for someone

to enjoy a celebration
every now and then,

and even if...

You are going to visit
your uncle in San Marcos?

Flight 120. Gate three.

Oh, um, well,

could you watch Gaspar
for a second?

I have to, uh,
pick up some shoes.

Uh, so you are flying
to San Marcos, young man?

Tha-that is quite a trip.

About one hour each way.

One hour each way.

Does not leave you much time
to spend with your own uncle,

not if you have to
get back the same night.

Who is getting back tonight?

Why, I figured, well,
because of your birthday...

And for my birthday

my uncle bought me
a ticket to San Marcos.

On an airplane,
as a present.

And I also get to go on all
the rides in the amusement park,

free, because
he is the boss.

Congratulations.
You're a very lucky man.

I know.

Yes.

Okay, Gaspar. Let's go.

See, that didn't
take very long, did it?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, I see, uh,
you got your shoes.

[Fomento] [chuckling]

Oh, you have
a very smart young man.

So smart, so brilliant.
He's going to go far.

Yes. Well, he's not
going to get to San Marcos

unless we hurry. Come on.
Have a nice trip.

What was he talking about?

All I said to him was that
I'm not coming back tonight.

That sounds so smart?

Well, maybe not
to you, but to him

it sounds
like sheer genius.

It's already 5:30, Captain.

Maybe you made
a mistake after all.

I have seen the cake,
Salazar.

I have seen
the preparation.

I know there is
a party for me.

And they know that
there is a party for me.

But even though that I know
that they know that I know...

Captain, my wife
is waiting dinner.

She's called three times.
Can we finish this tomorrow?

We will finish it today!

Tomorrow will be too late.

Tomorrow I may not
have a wife.

Please. They will find
a way to get me there.

If they are so smart

as to make my life
so miserable,

I am sure they are smart enough
to get me to my own party.

[telephone ringing]

Captain Gaspar Fomento
at your service.

Fomento, would you
get over here at once?

I've been robbed.

Robbed? SeñorRamirez,
I will be right over.

SeñorRamirez has been robbed.

You stay here.

[banging drawer]

May I tell you something,
Salazar?

You are a fool.
I am?

There is no robbery.
No?

Don't you understand?

That is how they are going
to get me to the party.

What a fool I am.
Yes.

[both laughing]

But I called 20 minutes ago.
Where the devil is...

Never mind.

Where have you been?

I had to shave.

You had to what?

A man is robbed
and he stops to shave?

That shave
could cost me $5,000.

Señor,don't you think you are
overdoing it a little bit?

That's exactly
what they took.

My, my, my.

Is that all
you're going to say?

[tsking]

Aren't you going to ask me
for a description?

Very well.
Give me the description.

[sighing]

One is blonde, thin,
six feet tall.

And the other is 5'8",
and dark.

One tall...
Very well, let's go. Where?

I haven't even told you
which way they went.

All right, tell me.
Which way did they go?

[sighing]
South.

Naturally.

What do you mean
by "naturally"?

That's in the direction
of the convent.

What does the convent
have to do with anything?

Who said anything
has got to do with anything?

What are we standing
here for? Let's go.

It is not quite 6:00 yet.
And I think that...

What are we
pulling up here for?

I appreciate
what you are doing for me,

but don't you think you are
going a little bit too far?

Are you mad, Fomento?
No, I am mad.

I should have asked
for Galindo, or even Salazar.

I expect you will be seeing
both of them soon enough.

Sisters?

Sister Bertrille?

Reverend Mother?

Sisters?

What is it?
What's the matter?

You see, I thought...

What?

Nothing. I just made a fool
of myself, that is all.

What are you talking about?

I don't know.

On the occasion
of his 40th birthday,

a man should begin
to have some common sense.

Today is your birthday?

Oh, only a fool would believe

that the sisters
would even be aware of it.

Let alone throw him
a surprise party.

Oh, I'm sorry, Captain.

SeñorRamirez,
why are we standing here?

There are two cutthroats
on the loose.

Uh, Captain. Captain, why don't
we forget about it, huh?

Let me buy you a drink.

I never drink on duty.

Well, maybe
a good steak dinner then.

Those guys are halfway
to Brazil by now.

Anyway, my insurance
will cover it.

You are insured?

Oh, why didn't you
tell me this before?

Well, it was very
inconsiderate of me, I...

Yes. It was
most inconsiderate.

You think I have
nothing else to do

but to spend my evenings
to run around like a fool?

Oh, yes.
It was most inconsiderate.

Yes, I have many things
to do. I am very...

If only I had not gone to the
bakery in the first place.

Are you sure
that you don't want me

to drive you back
to your casino?

No, I'm in no hurry
to get there.

What are you
going to do now?

Lock up, go home,

and have a nice
hot frozen dinner

just like any other man would
on his birthday.

Wait. We're having a great show
at the casino tonight.

Why don't you come,
as my guest?

Celebrate my birthday
with tourists?

Thank you.

Would you mind if I come up

and have a cup of coffee
with you?

[sisters cheering]

Surprise!
Surprise! Surprise!

[sisters cheering]

Thank you.

Sisters,

how can I find words to tell you
what is truly in my heart?

Today your overpowering love
shown to me

has shown me
what I have worked for.

And it is for this, my most
cherished moment. Thank you.

Now, who will have
the second piece?

♪♪

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