All language subtitles for The Flying Nun s02e12 To Fly or Not to Fly.eng

[main theme playing]

[whistling noise]

[barking]

[Jacqueline] It is said that life expectancy

on our little island
is very high.

Unfortunately, this does not
apply to our old station wagon.

[engine backfiring]

Sister Bertrille and I agreed
this was an emergency.

And in emergency,
Sister Bertrille's thoughts

fly to Se�or
Carlos Ramirez.

Where her thoughts go,
she follows.

On this particular occasion,
however,

asking Carlos for help
was one of the biggest mistakes

Sister Bertrille ever made.

Carlos, listen,
the station wagon broke...

Now you try.

[clears throat]

Carlos,
what are you doing?

Uh, I'm looking for a wife.

Temporary,
for 24 hours.

This is no way
to look for a wife.

I know,
but I'm in a hurry.

Thank you, girls. I appreciate
your trying. You can go.

Ramon will give each of you
a check for $20. Thank you.

Oh.
Bye-bye.

Bye.

Bye-bye.
Bye.

What am I going to do?

You see, I'm so desperate
I'm asking you for advice.

Why do you want to marry
someone for 24 hours?

I don't want to, I have to.
Oh.

You don't want
to know why?

Sure, but I'm afraid to ask.

Because of my grandmother.

She's coming
from Argentina.

Oh, and you want
to give her a party.

So why waste a party?
Might as well get married.

If you are not
going to get serious,

I'm not going to
discuss it with you.

Now, do you want to
hear about it or not?

It's up to you.

Okay. Since you insist,
I'm going to tell you.

Three years ago, I got word
that my grandmother was dying.

So I went down
to Argentina.

The doctors gave her
a few hours to live.

So, to make
her last hours happy,

I stretched
the truth a little.

What do you mean,
he "stretched the truth"?

He told his grandmother he was
married and had two children.

That's quite a stretch.

It made the old woman
very happy,

and he thought
that'd be the end of it.

And the truth
has snapped back?

What I'm asking is, what's
the ethical thing to do?

The ethical thing?

Well, that's obvious.

The ethical thing to do

is ask the Reverend Mother.

I--I really hardly know
what to say.

Neither does Carlos.

When his grandmother
arrives tomorrow,

he's gonna be
in terrible trouble.

You say that his grandmother
has a weak heart?

The least shock can bring on
another attack.

She's on her way to Rome
to see the Pope.

She'll only be
in San Juan 24 hours.

And, uh, Se�orRamirez
wants to know

what is
the ethical thing to do?

Ah...
Well, Sister Bertrille,

in my opinion,

there is only one thing
to tell him.

There's no substitute
for the truth.

Even if it kills
my grandmother?

Well, you asked
for our opinion.

Well, the only thing
I wanted was a loophole.

What time does your
grandmother's plane get in?

It landed
20 minutes ago.

You didn't meet her
at the airport?

How could I meet her?

I knew the first thing
she'd say would be,

"Carlitos, where's your wife
and darling children?"

So I sent Ramon.
What good is that gonna do?

The minute she comes in,

she's gonna say
the same exact thing.

Among all these girls, there
should be one temporary wife.

[Carlos] Your sister.

If I hadn't let Jennifer slip
through my hands,

I wouldn't be
in this trouble today.

She was terrific.

For her,
I would have done anything.

Even marry her.

How is she doing?
Is she still in Brazil?

No. I got a letter from her
the other day.

She was asked to read
a paper on obstetrics

at a medical convention
in Miami this week.

Miami, huh?

I better go back to the convent.
Oh, Sister, no.

My--my grandmother
will be here any minute.

You don't want
to leave me alone with her.

I should think
it would be easier

for you to
tell her the truth.

How can I
tell her the truth?

Suppose it shocks her
into another heart attack.

[knocking on door]

Yes?

Carlitos! Abuela!

How wonderful
to see you.

You look so well.

You look younger
and younger every year.

Carlos, why did no you
and your wife

come to meet me
at the airport?

[stammering]
Well, we didn't... They...

And when do I see
the children?

Oh, the children
and my wife...

[Carlos] Well...

Ah! That blessed woman
and those angel children.

Believe me, Sister,
if it had not been

for the wife of Carlos
and his children,

I would not be alive today.

Only the thought of seeing them
has kept me breathing.

So where are they?

Well, you can't see them.

Qué?Can't see them?
No.

There has been an accident.
No, no, no.

Disaster.
All three of them.

That is why the nun is here.

And the padre
is on his way.

Good. He can give me
the last rites.

No, abuela,they are
on vacation. On vacation.

Vacation? Truly?

Sister, a nun would not lie
to a dying woman.

Are they on vacation?

Well, put it this way,
there's been no accident.

Oh, bless you.
Bless you.

When are they
coming back?

Not for two weeks.
Two weeks?

Well, if you'll excuse me.

Uh, Sister...

[Amalia screams]

You don't have to tell me.

The wife of Carlos.

I would know her anywhere.

That picture doesn't...
Doesn't do her any justice.

Jennifer is much prettier.

Carlitos, how long
has Rome been standing?

Rome?
Thousands of years. Why?

Rome can get along without
Amalia Ramirez for two weeks.

Two weeks more?
Sí.

I am staying with you

until your dear wife
and angel children come home.

[cheerful music]

[in Spanish] Thank you very much.

Oh, Sister,
thank you very much

for helping me
get settled in the hotel.

Oh, well, since Carlos
was so suddenly busy...

He's too thin and
he's working too hard.

After the painters
are finished at his house,

I will move in.

Swell. I better be
getting back to the convent.

Oh, no, Sister.
One more minute, please.

We will sit down here
and we will talk...

as two women together.

Tell me about Carlos' wife.

What is there to tell?
She's pretty, I know,

but a pretty face
does not make a marriage.

Is she a good wife
for my Carlos?

Well...

Se�ora,I--
I really can't answer that.

You don't like
this Jennifer at all?

Oh, no, I do.
I love her.

I mean,
she's a marvelous person.

Any man would be lucky
if she married him.

[Amalia sighs]

How sweet to hear.

You and Jennifer
are close?

Like sisters.

That's nice.

And the children?

Sister, your face.

Every time you talk
about the children,

you look so worried.

You are keeping
something from me.

Uh, now, now,
don't get excited.

An incurable disease.

The boy? The girl?
Both of them?

Se�ora,Carlos' children
have never been sick.

Is true?Yeah.

They are healthy.
Both of them.

Just like Carlos.

The boy especially.

The girl
as sweet as her mother.

That's the way I see them
in my dreams.

Am I not right, Sister?

Yes. Those children
are exactly

the way you see them
in your dreams.

Carlos.
Oh, you are just in time.

She's your grandmother,
not mine.

You play 20 Questions
with her.

Just in time for what?
To meet Jennifer at the airport.

Jennifer's coming
to San Juan?

Her plane left Miami
an hour ago.

Well, why is she coming?

After you left
with my grandmother,

I was sitting there
looking at Jennifer's picture,

and all of a sudden
I wanted to hear her voice.

Just like that?
Just like that.

I called Miami, and, I called
the Chamber of Commerce,

and they traced her down
to the medical convention.

She was so surprised.
I bet.

Why is she coming?

Well, we were just sitting,
talking, reminiscing,

and she said, uh,
"I wish I could see her,"

you know, meaning you,

and I said, "Why don't you
fly down as my guest?"

And Jennifer
said yes?

She left for the airport

before I had the chance
to say goodbye.

As simple as that?

As simple as that.

Then why don't I
believe you?

Come on, let's go.
Let's go.

Oh, Jennifer!

Jennifer,
it's so nice to see you.

Jen.
Elsie.

What are you doing here?

You're supposed
to be in the hospital.

The hospital?
Carlos said it was an emergency.

A matter of life and death.

Sister, please.

Jennifer, it is
an emergency.

It is a matter
of life and death.

My grandmother's.
His grandmother?

Jennifer,
I want you to be my wife.

Now, Carlos...
Just for one or two days.

Well, I'm terribly flattered,

but there are certain
complications.

I'd like you to meet Dr. Paul
Martinson, my fiance.

How do you do?
Her fiance.

Very nice to meet you.

Should we get the bags?
Excuse us.

This web tangled enough for you,
spider, old boy?

Fiance...

I don't know how you can
just sit there like that

after what Carlos did,

telling you
I was practically dying.

Well, I should be angry,
but I'm so relieved

you aren't practically dying,
that I'm not.

Well, I'm burned up enough
for both of us.

I don't know why you didn't give
him a quick left, a hard right,

and take the next plane
back to Miami.

Well, you and I haven't seen
each other in too long, Elsie.

And since I'm here
compliments of Se�orRamirez,

we might as well enjoy
a little time together.

Yeah.

It is good
seeing you again, Jen.

I know.

I'm awfully glad you've had
a chance to meet Paul.

He must think he's just landed
in Cuckoo City.

Well,
he is a little confused,

but I explained that
Carlos is a practical joker

with a warped sense
of humor.

Warped?
The word is "cracked."

I wish you had
let me call room service.

I have enough room service
in hospitals.

Jennifer!

Oh, no.

Jennifer.

Jennifer.

You did this
on purpose.

Oh, Sister Bertrille,
on my honor...

On your what?

I can't believe it.

You told me
she was away on vacation.

Well, I--I called her,

and she decided
to come home immediately.

Oh, what
a beautiful surprise.

[inaudible]
And these are the children.

No, Abuela!
No, no, no!

[both chattering in Spanish]

Abuela,
these are not my children!

I'm sorry.

Oh, Jennifer,

what a moment
is this for me.

Here I am at last,
face to face

with the wife of Carlos.

Se�oraRamirez...

No "Se�oraRamirez,"

Abuela
or call me Grandmother.

Please listen. Carlos and I,
we're-- we're not...

Not what?
Tell me. Tell me.

There is something wrong
between you two? Is that it?

No. No. There's nothing wrong
between us.

Oh, no?

[in Spanish] Thank God.

Oh, please,
let me take your arm.

We have so much
to talk about.

I have 1 000 questions
to ask you.

Come.
Elsie...

Yeah, yeah.
I'll be along in a minute.

Oh, I cannot believe
this is really happening.

Neither can I.

Where's Jen going?

Dr. Martinson... Uh, Paul,
won't you have a seat?

What about Jen?

Well, I'm afraid
you've joined us

on the horns of
a moral dilemma.

And two iced teas.
Thank you.

And how many wonderful years

have you two
been married together?

Eight.
Ten.

Well, actually
Jennifer is right.

Uh, it just seems longer.

I mean, when you
are so happy together

it's difficult to remember
when you weren't married.

I can remember.

She can remember.

So, lying is wrong, but if
Se�oraRamirez hears the truth

she may have
a heart attack.

And that's
the horns of our dilemma.

You know, Sister,
in this kind of a situation,

I always remember the words
of my old philosophy teacher,

Professor Mergenthaler.
He always said,

"When you find yourself
on the horns of a dilemma,

"there's only one thing
to do...

"Get off."
How?

Tell her the truth.

And if you don't,
I will.

Who am I to argue with your
old Professor Mergenthaler?

Such happiness.

Only one thing I miss.

When will I see
the children?

When does
she see the children?

Uh, the children?
After lunch.

And, uh, which one
is the older?

The girl.
The boy.

The boy.
The girl.

The boy's older
but the girl looks older.

That's right.

The girl is older
but the boy is taller.

You didn't tell me
where they are.

Where are they?

This one's on you.

Sister.
I've got to talk to you.

I wanna talk
to your grandmother.

Later, later.

She wants to see the children
at the convent.

The visiting hours
are between...

Not those children.
My children.

Your children?

I beg you. For her sake,
for an old woman's sake,

you've got to find me
two children at the convent.

Now, wait a minute...
I told my grandmother

that my wife
brought them right back

to the school
from the airport.

Now, the boy
should be older.

Or is it the girl?
Maybe twins.

I will not
bring two children

into this charade.
Repeat, will not.

Furthermore, I think
you're a selfish,

heartless,
double-dealing rat,

and I'm sorry
I ever said I'd help you.

Sister, wait.

You're right.
You're absolutely right.

And I hope
you can forgive me.

I think the truth is best.
Yes.

And I will tell
my grandmother.

Well, it's about time.

Now, you have to do me a favor.
What?

Don't make any plans
for the next few days.

I will need your help
for the funeral.

Paul, now, be reasonable.
Reasonable?

My fiancee is masquerading
as the wife of another man,

pretending to be the mother
of two children

she's never even seen.

And you ask me
to be reasonable.

Just until
tomorrow morning.

Then you can be
as unreasonable as you like.

[easy listening music]

Is that
our great-grandmother?

Yeah. Come on. Over here.
All right, kids.

Right over here.
Over here.

Okay. Now, uh, don't say
any more than you have to.

Just listen and smile.

Remember, we're only doing this
to make an old lady happy.

Are we too early?

[Bertrille] No. Come on in.

Oh! My little darlings.

Carlitos.

[Amalia] Theresa.

Se�ora. Se�ora.

This is Sister Jacqueline.

[in Spanish] A pleasure.

Ah! You lucky man.

Two angels.

Let me look at you.

Carlos, he is your son,
you could not deny it.

He has your smile.

And Theresa,
her mother all over.

Have you nothing to say to your
great-grandmother, my angels?

We're just
supposed to listen.

And smile.

[Carlos] What respect
for their elders.

That's the training
they get here.

Well, uh, the children have
to go back to the classroom.

But I have just got here.

Rules are rules, aren't they,
Sister Jacqueline?

Oh, yes.
Rules are rules.

[scoffing] What is a rule
without exception?

Niños,
would you like to go

shopping with me
for toys, niños?

No, Abuela,
you can't do that.

[in Spanish] Why not?

Of course I can.

You will excuse them,
Sister Bertrille?

Actually, it's--
it's out of my hands.

Sister Jacqueline
is in charge,

and the children are not allowed
off the school grounds,

are they,
Sister Jacqueline?

Only on
alternate Tuesdays.

But that is not
for two weeks.

Ah, rules are rules.
Yeah.

Then I am not leaving
for two weeks.

Well, what's a rule
without an exception?

Take them shopping.

[laughing]

Carlitos?

Carlitos?

Carlitos?
Pepe.

Yes?

Why do you call him Pepe?

Well, it-- it just seems to
suit him better than Carlitos.

You build so well.

What are you going to be
when you grow up?

When I grow up?

I guess I'll be
like Se�orRamirez.

Why does he call his father
Se�orRamirez?

Why does...

I think it's because he has
so much respect for Carlos.

I can't understand
why he hasn't come

to take us back
to the convent.

I better call him
at the office.

Oh. Well,
what time did he leave?

Thank you.

He's on his way, kids.

Let's go down in the lobby
and wait for him.

Come on.
Okay.

What a delightful surprise
to run into you, Lisa.

I have to go upstairs.

But tomorrow
we'll have the whole day.

Why don't you all
wait in the lobby

and make
yourselves comfortable?

I'll go out and make sure
we don't miss Carlos.

Great-grandmother, look,
there's Se�orRamirez.

[audience laughing]

Come little ones.
Quickly.

What were you doing
out here?

Uh, a little future planning.

Oh, swell.

While I'm trying to
figure out how not to lie

without telling the truth,
you're kidding around.

I wasn't kidding around.
That's not the word for it.

I've got some
good news.

It wasn't easy, but I persuaded
Paul to cooperate.

Just don't
overplay your hand.

You can trust me. I better
go up and get the kids.

I left them down here in
the lobby with Grandmother.

Left them right over...
right...

"Dear Carlos, for an old lady
I see too well.

"First I saw Jennifer
and a strange man

kissing in the patio."Paul.

"Then you,
with a woman at the bar.

"Ruin your own lives
if you must,

"but the children
will not suffer.

"I canceled
my trip to Rome.

"Carlos Jr. and Theresa
are flying back

"to Argentina with me
immediately."

Argentina?
Immediately.

Maybe I can catch them
at the airport.

ANNOUNCER [on pa system]
Attention. Attention.

Passengers for
Flight Number 347 to Lima,

with connections for La Paz
and Buenos Aires,

may now board
at Gate Number five.

[in Spanish] Come, little angels.

Tomorrow you will be safe
in Argentina.

Pepe, where's Argentina?

I think
it's near New York.

Oh! Se�ora.
Excuse me. Se�ora,wait!

Sister Bertrille.
Hi.

Are you going
to Argentina, too?

No. I have to explain
something to you.

Explain Carlos
with another woman?

Can you explain about Jennifer
and another man?

Can a nun explain that?
Now, wait...

Now, no, wait, don't get
excited. Oh, my goodness!

Why don't we sit down over here
in this nice little chair?

Would you make
some room for a lady

who's about
to have a heart attack?

Yes. Thank you.

Now, you better
prepare yourself for a shock.

Go ahead.
What's one more shock?

It doesn't matter.

Well...

[Jacqueline] Sister Bertrille unburdened
herself of the truth.

She explained that Jennifer
was not Carlos' wife.

That Jennifer was actually
another man's fiancee.

And that
the children were hers.

Yours?

[Jacqueline] She hastened to explain
that by "hers,"

she meant the convent's.

She told her the whole story
of Carlos' deceit

right from
the very beginning.

Then she held her breath...

and stood by,
ready to call an ambulance.

[sighing]Sister,

I am so filled with joy,

I could weep.

You--you are?
You could?

Oh, what a blessed relief.

That Carlos,
to go to such trouble

because he loves
his grandmother

and wants to see her happy.

That wonderful man.

I ask you, Sister,

have you ever known
another man like him?

One is enough.

My grandmother had
an audience with the Pope.

She thinks
he's too thin.

So she's giving his cook
her secret recipes.

Oh, I got this
letter from Jen.

I thought
you might be interested.

Oh. I hope she's not
mad at me anymore.

Well, judge for yourself.

Such language.

And from
an obstetrician.

Well, I learned
my lesson.

No more lies.
Not even white ones.

[telephone ringing]

Hello? Oh, Maria.

A party tonight?

[stuttering] No. No,
I have a splitting headache.

Anyway, I'm thinking
about getting married,

so it wouldn't be fair
to go out with you.

Yeah, that's right.

Okay, thank you.
Bye-bye.

Uh, no more lies?
Not even white ones?

I didn't lie.
No?

You just told her
you had a splitting headache

and were thinking
about getting married.

I am thinking
about getting married.

I'm thinking about
getting married all the time.

And that's giving me
a splitting headache.

[end theme playing]

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