All language subtitles for The Flying Nun s02e09 All Alone by the Convent Phone.eng

♪♪

[Jacqueline]
There was great joy at Convent San Tanco

that lovely spring day
in April.

Sister Jacqueline,

Sister Sixto,
Sister Bertrille!

Come here, Sisters, quickly.
I have something to show you.

The reason for our happiness
was a check for 5000 dollars

donated to Convent San Tanco

by a certain
señor Juan Hernando.

The figures swam
before my eyes.

So many lovely zeros.

As our spirits soared over
this unexpected windfall,

Sister Bertrille
just soared.

Come down, Sister.
Come down!

Reverend Mother
wants to talk to us.

About the big banana.

Bonanza, Sister.
Bonanza.

Oh, we're going to
watch television?

She's going
to open up the jar

of homemade
brandied peaches

she's been saving
to celebrate.

Sister Bertrille
may be aerodynamically sound,

but like any airliner,

she is occasionally
at the mercy

of that old devil, wind.

[crashing]

Get a ladder, Sister.

Wait there.
Don't go away.

[fabric ripping]

Sister Sixto, hurry.

Going my way?

♪♪

[all laughing]

Oh, I just love
brandied peaches.

I thought only cattle
is brandied?

A toast
to señorHernando.

[all] Here!
Here!

I think we've all
had one peach too many.

You still haven't told us

who señorHernando is.

I still don't know
who he is.

Our Convent records show

that a boy by that name

was raised here
in the orphanage.

That was before my time.

When he was 17,
he left the Convent

to seek his fortune.

[Sixto] He sure did.

5000 dollars
is not grass, you know?

Hay, Sister.

That's what I say.
Hey, Sister,

what are we gonna do
with that money?

How about a new stove?

Buy new cushions for
the prayer benches. Soft ones.

Oh, yes. That means there'll be
a lot more praying done.

Build a new playground.

Oh, and buy
a new station wagon.

Mmm. Mmm.

A television set. Color.

Don't forget
the remote control.

Sisters.
Sisters, I promise

that I will take all of your
suggestions under advisement.

In the meantime, I think
it would be a good idea

if you, Sister Jacqueline,
or Sister Bertrille,

drive into town
and deposit the check.

Why don't we both go?

Sister Jacqueline could drive,
and I could ride shotgun.

You think the old heap
will start?

We haven't got much time
before the bank closes.

I hope so. I'd be worried
carrying this till Monday.

Where did you put it?
My pocket.

Do you think
that's a safe place for it?

Did you ever hear
of anyone losing a pocket?

On the other hand,
there's always a first time.

[wind blowing]

[all exclaiming]

[all chattering]

I've heard of a check bouncing,
but this is ridiculous.

Sister Bertrille,
prepare for takeoff.

Roger and out.

That a boy.

Come on, give it here now.

Well, you can't even cash it.
It isn't endorsed.

Come back here,
you embezzler!

Drop that check.
You understand?

Drop that check
this very instant.

Oh, no.

Now he listens to me.

Excuse me, ma'am.
Excuse me. I got it.

Oh, I got it.

It's only scorched
a little bit down here

where the signature is...
Was.

Now what are we gonna do?

How about crying?

Oh...

Oh, excuse us.

Enjoy your dinner.

Goodbye.

[Jacqueline] And there was no address
or phone number on his note?

Unfortunately, no.

We could call the bank.
They're sure to know

who Juan Hernando is.
[Reverend Mother] Yes, we can.

When it opens on Monday.

Oh. For all we know,
Juan Hernando

might leave this island
over the weekend.

A man as rich as he is
could go away

and not come back
for months.

Sisters, you're all missing
the important point.

I don't think you should let
a whole weekend go by

without thanking
señorHernando

for his generosity,
it's not polite.

[Reverend Mother] A very excellent suggestion,
Sister Bertrille.

But how do you propose
we implement it?

Reverend Mother, may I
borrow your telephone book?

Here's his name.

And here. And here. And here.

It seems Juan Hernando

is the John Smith
of Puerto Rico.

Well, there's only
one thing to do.

With a little bit of luck,
and a lot of patience,

we just might find him.

[phone dialing]

Hello?
This is Sister Bertrille

of the Convent San Tanco.

I-I'm looking for
Juan Hernando.

Oh.

Uh-huh.

Well, thank you very much,
Mrs. Hernando.

She's looking for him, too.
Has been for ten years.

May I suggest a more
scientific approach,

such as starting at the top
and working your way down?

Oh, good idea.
Why didn't I think of it?

Keep your fingers crossed,
girls.

Uh. Hello?
This is Sister Bertrille

of the Convent San Tanco.

May I please speak
with señorJuan Hernando?

Oh.
When will he be out?

Five years?

Cheer up. Maybe he'll get
time off for good behavior.

[ringing]

Hello.

Yes, yes,
this is Juan Hernando.

Uh, this is Sister Bertrille
of the Convent San Tanco.

Yes, Sister.
What can I do for you?

Well, first
I wanna make sure

you're
the real señorHernando.

Yes.
I am the real señorHernando.

The orphan?

Yes, you could say that.
Mmm-hmm.

And, and you were
raised by the Sisters?

Yes, you could say that also.

He's an orphan.

He's the real Juan Hernando.

I found him.
I found him.

Yes. Yes, Sister,
I am still here,

but I am very, very busy.
Perhaps you could...

What are you doing?

I am taking this typewriter.

You can't do that.

Do you have the money
you still owe on it?

No, but...

Then I'm taking
this typewriter.

Yes, Sister, yes, I am,
I am still on the line.

Perhaps you could tell me
what is on your mind quickly.

I'm calling
about the donation.

Sit.

Yes, Sister, you were saying
something about a-a donation?

Yes.
The 5000 dollar check.

Tell him we'll
bring it right over.

Yes, if it's all right,

we'd like to bring it
right over?

Sister, let me
try to understand

what it is you are saying.

You are saying,
if it is all right with me,

you are going to bring
the check for 5000 dollars?

Yes.

Of course it is
all right with me.

A miracle, a miracle.

SeñorHernando, I'd like to
explain what happened.

Never mind. Tell me when you
get here, the sooner the better.

Do you know
where San Rafael is?

I'll find it.

It is just outside of San Juan.

A little town of 3500 souls

and 260 donkeys.
How far away are you?

Oh, about ten miles
as the crow flies.

I'm talking
about decent crow.

Now, listen to me
very carefully, Sister.

I have a very important meeting
at my campaign headquarters

at the corner of Alvarez
and Montenegro Streets.

You will meet me there
and bring the check, yes?

Well, yes.
But how will I recognize you?

Sister, there is no need
for you to recognize me.

I will recognize you.

Goodbye, Sister, and hurry.

Bye.

Do you know
what that means,

señorTomas?

That the Sisters
of the Convent of San Tanco

are supporting me
in my campaign.

Well, what'd he say?

Well, he's giving us
a new check for 5000 dollars.

After what you have heard,

you are still taking
back the typewriter?

Only to go out to
the truck

to get you
another one, Your Honor.

For the next
Governor of Puerto Rico,

only a brand-new
electric typewriter will do.

And, my friends,
I promise you

that if I am elected Mayor,

I promise you that I
will keep my promises.

I will build
a new super highway.

A bridge
connecting the islands.

And a football stadium.

How will you get the money?

By lowering the taxes,
that is how.

Who will pay for all
these improvements?

What is the question?
Oh, yes.

That is
a very good question. Yes.

And I will answer it

in my first
State of the Union message

after I'm elected.

The Sisters.
Tell them about the Sisters.

Yes, yes,
I was just coming to that.

And now, my dear friends,
you will be happy to learn

that I am not only
the candidate of labor,

and of management,

of the working class,
and of the propertied class,

but also of that most sacred
of all institutions,

the church itself.

Yes, the church
as represented

by the Sisters
of the Convent of San Tanco.

Oh, I see
you do not believe me.

Well, what if I were to
tell you that at this moment,

the Sisters are bringing to me
a check of 5000 dollars

in support of my campaign?

[all murmuring]

You would think that
I, honest Juan Hernando,

am stretching the truth.

[chuckles]

Well, then, look,

for the truth
comes marching on.

Excuse me.

Sisters,
I am Juan Hernando

and I am delighted.

Oh, well,
we're glad to see you, too.

Come. Come. You must share
the place of honor with me.

Yes, my friends, look,
as I have promised,

these Sisters...
Watch your step, Sisters.

Watch the step.
It is a very high step.

I hope you have thought
of a few well-chosen words

to say to my constituents.

About what?

About me.
Say something nice.

Of course. Yes.

Ahem.

It's a great honor
to be able to tell you

what a kind and generous person
señorHernando is.

And furthermore...
Thank you, Sister.

There, you have heard it
from the horse's mouth.

Forgive me, Sister.

I hope you
will vote accordingly.

You have brought
the check, Sister?

Well,
may-maybe you'd rather wait

until you're finished
with your little meeting.

On the contrary!

I want all my constituents

to witness
our little transaction.

Uh...

I'd like to explain
what happened to it.

What could happen to it

safe and snug
in your little purse?

Intermission time.

And to while away
your waiting hours,

San Rafael's most
distinguished artist

will play for you.

Play, Jose.

Play, Jose.

Sisters, I'd like to
have your ears for a moment.

Sisters, what kind
of a joke is this?

Oh, it was no joke.
Especially trying to find you.

What has happened
to this check?

Well, let me try
to explain to you.

You see,
it fell in the fire

and the signature
burned off.

And, of course,
a check isn't any good

without a signature,
is it, señor?

No, Sister, it is not.
[sniggers]

[Jacqueline] So, if you don't mind,
you can give us a new check.

You want me to give you...

In other words, Sisters,

if my mind
is still functioning,

I am going to give you
a check for 5000 dollars?

Thank you very much,
señorHernando.

Thank you so much.
You're welcome.

You'll be remembered
in our prayers.

And I won't forget you.
Never.

If you give us a new check
we'll be running along.

I cannot give you
a new check.

Pardon?

Come, let me explain
to you.

You see, it is not
that I do not want to,

or that you
do not deserve it,

I would not want you
to lose confidence in me.

That would be disastrous,
especially right now.

Just exactly
what do you mean?

What do I mean?
Well, what do I mean?

Yes, what I mean is

I cannot give you
a new check

until the old check
is canceled.

Well, that's practically
canceled right now.

Yes, we could just tear it up.
Right up.

No, no, no. I'm afraid
that would make shambles

of my bookkeeping system,

but we will
work something out.

What I will do
is transfer funds

from my campaign account
to my joint account,

which will take
a little time.

How much time?

A few days.

Until I'm elected Mayor.

At which time,
Sisters, believe me,

I will be writing checks
all over the place.

Thank you very much.

You are very welcome.
And here is your old check.

What'll we do with it?

Let me not keep you
from your duties.

Thank you so much.
Thank you for coming.

And do not worry,
you will hear from me,

I promise.

Goodbye.

Sisters, there is nothing
to be concerned about.

I am certain
that señorHernando

will keep his word.

In fact,
he just telephoned me

a few moments ago,

just before you returned.

He did?
Yes.

He said that he is
on his way

over here right now.

He is?

That's the fastest
transfer of funds in history.

Especially
with banks closed.

He couldn't have been
elected Mayor already?

Well, it's
a very small town.

3500 souls,
260 donkeys.

Well, in any case,
he will be here momentarily.

While we were preparing

for the arrival
ofseñor Hernando,

we were too busy to notice

the arrival
ofseñor Hernando.

Although even
if we had noticed him,

we wouldn't have noticed him.

Does that sound confusing?

It was.

Oh, yes, señorHernando,

we plan to do all sorts
of wonderful things

for the Convent
with your generous donation.

That is why I dropped by,
Reverend Mother,

to see that all was well.

Well, uh,
now that you are here,

I am sure that
everything will be well.

What happened to it?

I thought that
Sister Bertrille explained.

Sister Bertrille?
Who is...?

[phone ringing]

Excuse me.

Hello?

Oh, yes, Your Excellency.

Reverend Mother,
have you seen

the San Rafael Herald?

Not recently, no.

Is there something in it

that would be
of interest to me?

Reverend Mother,
my capacity

is strictly advisory.

However,
do you think it's wise

to involve the Convent
in local politics?

Your Excellency,
I-I am not certain

that I know exactly
what you are talking about.

Well, then,
let me read this to you.

"San Tanco Sisters support
Honest Juan Hernando."

What?

Honest Juan Hernando
has a reputation

for being
a little less than honest.

Why, that is dreadful.

He is simply an opportunist.

And he'll do almost
anything to get elected.

I only wish you
could see him in action.

Your Excellency,
I am seeing him in action.

And while I don't know
how you,

uh, got involved
with this man,

but my advice is...

Your Excellency, I know exactly
how we got involved.

And I will take care
of this matter immediately.

And thank you,
Your Excellency,

for calling us.
Good day.

SeñorHernando,

we do not want
your check.

You don't?

No. Now I know why
you gave us a donation

of 5000 dollars.
You do?

SeñorHernando, you should be
ashamed of yourself

for what you have done.
What did I do?

That telephone call was

from His Excellency,
the Bishop.

Yes, yes.

It was about you,
SeñorHernando.

He explained everything.

Reverend Mother,
I have committed

a sin or two
in my lifetime, but...

SeñorHernando,
there is one sin

which exceeds
all others in perfidy.

And that is the sin

of attempting
to bribe the church.

SeñorHernando, you are

a self-serving,
heartless, evil man.

Reverend Mother!
Good day, señorHernando.

Well, the meat's cooking,
the table's set.

And who was that man?

Why that was
your good, kind,

generous señorHernando.

Oh, no. It wasn't
our good, kind,

generous señorHernando.

It is not?
No.

Our good, kind,
generous SeñorHernando

is a short man
with a mustache.

So, who was that?

That was
my good, kind,

generous señorHernando.

The real one, I presume.

And I just gave him
his 5000 dollars

and a piece of my mind.

[engine starts]

Quickly, Sisters.
Before he leaves.

No apologies,
Sisters, please.

I understand perfectly.

SeñorHernando,
the Sisters

have explained
the misunderstanding?

Oh, we would not
have wanted you to leave

under such circumstances.

Why, with a name
as common as mine,

anything can happen.

Then you bear us
no ill will?

Of course not,
Reverend Mother.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Won't you stay for dinner?

Yes, we have some
fantastic brandied peaches.

90 proof.
And a lovely roast.

Rarely done.
Done rare, Sister.

Thank you,
but I must be going.

[sisters chattering]

Aren't you
forgetting something?

Oh, of course. My hat.

And your check?
No.

I beg your pardon?

The Reverend Mother
was right.

The Reverend Mother was wrong,
whatever she said.

Yes, actually, you do
understand, SeñorHernando,

that I was referring
to another scoundrel.

Another señorHernando.

It does not matter.
You hit on the truth.

My life has been
anything but pure.

I have become wealthy
in ways I am not proud of.

My money's tainted.

Could I ask you
to accept that?

Well, if you happen to run
across any untainted money,

will you keep us in mind?
Sister Bertrille.

I was thinking
of his conscience.

As a matter of fact, yes.
Yes, I have.

Five years ago,

I bought a piece of land,

and sold it a year later
for a handsome profit.

It was a clean,
no monkey-business transaction.

That profit,
I would be glad to donate.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much,
señorHernando.

The check
is for 100 dollars.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Not at all.
Good day, and thank you.

God be with you.
Goodbye. Goodbye.

Well, Sisters,

there's a great deal
that can be done

with 100 dollars.

We could always plunge it
into the campaign

against Juan Hernando,
the crook.

But I thought I was
the real Juan Hernando.

I mean,
all my life I have been

the real Juan Hernando.

And now, suddenly,
I am no longer

the real Juan Hernando
anymore.

Certainly not the Juan
who sent us the check.

Well, is-is that my fault?

Why didn't you
tell us the truth?

In front
of my constituents?

I'm a politician,
not a martyr.

You're going to have to
call the newspapers

and tell them it was
a misunderstanding.

Well, it was as much
your misunderstanding

as it was mine.

Why should I be
the only one to suffer?

[inaudible]

We've reached a compromise.

Yes, and so, my friends,

with the help
of the good Sisters here,

we have developed
a marvelous platform.

And so,
I want to promise you,

that if I am elected
Mayor of our fair city,

that I will not

do away
with all of the taxes.

And I promise you also

that you could forget
about the super highway.

And you could forget
about the new bridges

and the stadiums...

SeñorHernando,
un momento,tell us,

just what would you do
if you are elected?

I will go to church
every day of my life

and give thanks

because if I am elected,

I will be
the most surprised man

in all of Puerto Rico.

♪♪

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