All language subtitles for The Flying Nun s01e15 The Dig In.eng

[barking]

[birds chirping]

[Jacqueline]
One memorable day, Sister Bertrille set out

on a sort of
one-woman mission.

Her object was to collect
as many interesting rocks as possible

for the children
in her nature study class.

Now, any day
in Sister Bertrille's life could not be called ordinary.

But this day turned out
to be most extraordinary.

Even for Sister Bertrille.

And it was a day
she would never forget

as long as she lived.

[grunts]

[Bertrille coughing]

[man]
Oh, beautiful. Just beautiful.

You really fixed us up
just fine.

Well, I'm sorry,
but you did come charging at me.

Well, what do you
expect me to do

when you come
sneaking up on me?

Ask me...
Ask you to dance?

Hey, I wasn't
sneaking up on you.

For heaven's sakes,
I was looking for rocks.

Oh, you were looking
for rocks? Yes.

What were you doing here?

I'm a boy scout.

I was looking
for my den mother.

Are you hurt?

No, no, I...

I used to always
carry my head this way.

I said I was sorry.

Look, why... why did you
have to come here in the first place?

I told you,
I was looking for rocks.

My name is Sister Bertrille
from the convent San Tanco.

Oh, terrific.

Look, sister,
in case you don't get it,

you and I are trapped
in this pad.

Now, there are
more rocks there and dirt in that entrance,

then--then could fill
the Grand Canyon.

Now, look, if you want
to jump up and down, and sing hallelujah

and welcome
the great reward with open arms,

just go right ahead
and do it.

Me, I have a natural tendency
to get just a little bit nervous

when I know I'm about
to be buried alive, with a nun.

Oh, I'm still a novice.
I won't be a full-fledged nun--

sister, you ain't
going to be nothing ever. Don't you get it?

'Cause you're not
gonna live very long.

Maybe we can
dig our way out.

Oh, sure.

With--with what, huh?
With--with this?

You and I are going to end up
rotted and decayed just like that board.

Don't you get it?

Nonsense. We're going to
get out of here. Oh.

This tunnel
must lead someplace.

Oh. Look, sister,
Ok, you wanna go looking, you go look

and if you find
coney island,

give me a whistle
and I'll come running, Ok?

I don't personally care
what you do.

I'm going to have
a look around.

Excuse me.
Hey, would...

There's light in here.
Look, up there.

Oh, I knew
there'd be an opening.

Oh, I knew there would be.
I knew it.

Now, isn't that just dandy?

Now, how do you suggest
we get up there, huh? We jump?

I could climb
on your shoulders.

How tall are you,
half portion?

5 feet.
5'2', with heels.

Nuns wear heels?

Well, I wasn't always a nun.

Oh, I keep on forgetting.
You're still a pledge.

Novice.
Ok, novice. Have it your own way.

Ok, novice, how far
would you say it is

from down here
to up there, huh?

Mmm, 15 feet.
20.

Oh.
I'm 6 feet. You're 5.

That leaves 9 feet.

Right.

Well, at least
we won't suffocate.

No. No, we'll just
die of malnutrition, that's all.

That's pessimistic thinking.

Are you gonna give me
the miracle bit now, sister?

The "we'll get saved
at the last minute" pitch?

Because if you are,
I don't want to hear it. I don't believe in miracles.

Well, what do you believe in?

I don't believe in anything,
and I don't believe in anybody.

And I don't want
to hear any lectures now, please,

because I'm not in the mood.

Those 9 lousy feet
are gonna get me buried

beneath 50 feet
of rock and dirt

just because
a novice nun throws

a judo pass at me
and the whole side of a mine caves in.

Oh, I can see it now.

In about 10 years time,
there'll be a couple of lines

on the back page
of the local throw sheet.

[quote] "Prospectors
looking for gold

"find the remains of a nun

"and a young man
named Bill Watkins

reported missing
back in 1967."

Watkins. Watkins.

I had a teacher
by the name of Watkins once.

Mary Watkins,
that was her name.

She was my science teacher.

And you know what?
She had this theory

that we're all
just mirror images.

That we never
really exist on this earth.

Yeah, well,
I would like to trade places

with my mirror image
right now.

Except with my luck,
somebody would probably break it.

Maybe you're related, huh?

No, I don't have
any relatives.

You had a mother and father,
didn't you?

So I heard.

Hey, what are you doing?

Trying to attract
some attention.

You see,
my station wagon is parked--

sister, honey,
I hate to burst

that beautiful bubble
of optimism that you've got,

but we are 50 miles
from nowhere,

and nobody's gonna come
looking for us here.

Maybe one of
those prospectors will show up early.

Hey, you know
what I should do?

Maybe I should write a note
and attach it to one of those rocks.

And then throw it up there.
What kind of a message?

How about, "roses are red,
violets are blue,

Bill Watkins and I
are waiting for you"?

You're a laugh a minute,
aren't you?

Well, it's better
than crying.

Besides, I sneeze when I cry.

You sneeze when you cry?

Yeah.

Kind of, uh,
an allergic reaction to weakness, I guess.

Now, who told you that?
Your psychiatrist?

My own interpretation.

Have you got a pencil?
No.

So, just forget
about the message, huh?

Well, the least you can do
is help me throw some of these rocks.

How do you know?
Yours might be the lucky rock.

Ok.

[grunting]

Oh, no, not that one.
That's the one--

[groaning]

That's a pretty bad cut.

Good, maybe
I'll bleed to death.

I have a first aid kit
in the...

Oh, that doesn't
do us much good.

Well, now,
come to think of it, I've got my own first aid.

[Bertrille]
Oh, good.

Yeah.

The very best
first aid there is.

Oh, great.

Ok, I'm very glad
you decided to be sociable.

You might as well.
It's gonna be a long, cold winter.

How much?

About 2 fingers.

Will wonders never cease?

That's good.

Thank you.
Now, will you lean over?

What for?
I'm gonna pour this on your cut.

Hey, not with
my bourbon you don't.

Oh, yes, I will.
Over my dead body.

[groaning]
Yes.

Oh, I'm sorry.
It hurts me more than it does you.

No, it didn't.
That was my bourbon.

Well, you want to get
an infection in that cut?

Oh, you really are too much.

We're gonna die
in this disaster area

and you're worried
about a minor infection.

We are not going to die

because we're going to
find a way out of here.

Ah!

The last time
somebody went "ah" like that,

I was sitting
in a dentist's chair

and I had a gas mask
suddenly plopped over my nose.

Next thing I knew,
I was missing 2 wisdom teeth.

It could have been
your appendix.

Hey, do you feel up to
giving me a hand?

Doing what?

Well, I thought
we could build a ladder.

With what?

Well, there's plenty
of wood around here and boards.

And what do we do for nails?

We don't need any.

Oh, no.

Oh, this is
some kind of a happening.

You know,
what really took place was,

when that--
when that opening fell in on me

I was knocked out for keeps.
I'm not alive.

I'm in purgatory
and you're my punishment.

Don't be ridiculous.
We're both alive.

Have you got a knife?

Sure. In the duffle bag.
Help yourself.

Ok. Thank you.
Now, listen, you can gather up

something to use for ties,
some of that old burlap--

hey, wait a minute.
I'll get it.

I said I'd get it.

You were looking for this?

Yes. Thank you.

Well, let's get to work.

This should finish
the last rung. Yeah.

All we need now is for
someone to fly by low enough to see our signal.

You know what?
What?

I think
the Sheriff's helicopter

flies over this way
every once in a while.

Now what do you mean
by that crack, huh?

Does it have to
mean something?

[exclaims]

You're just bustin'
to ask a lot of questions, aren't you, sister?

Well, let me
tell you something.

If there's one thing
I can't stand, it's a nosy nun.

And I don't like playing
any cat-and-mouse games either.

So I'd better
spell it out for you.

The "p" doesn't stand
for personality.

No, it certainly doesn't.

I spent 3 months
in that crummy dump,

and last night
I saw my chance to cut out and I took it.

Now, to you,
that should mean just one thing:

If we ever do
get out of this place,

you just tear up
our formal introduction, Ok?

You just forget
that you ever knew me.

What makes you think
I want to remember you?

Hey, you shouldn't
talk to me that way, sister.

Now, how do you know
what kind of a guy I am?

I mean, I could be
some kind of a psycho

doing time for murder,
for all you know.

Aren't you just
a little bit afraid? Nope.

Well, you should be.

I mean, you could
put the finger on me and send me back there

and I wouldn't like that
one little bit.

Maybe you should be
afraid of me then.

Hey, I don't think
you get it.

Uh, it would be
to my advantage to see to it

that you never
got out of here.

Now, all I would have to do
is say that you got caught

in that slide back there
and everybody would believe me.

Yes, you're right.

What are you
gonna do about it?

I'm gonna help you
put up this ladder.

Keep going now.
Ok.

[ladder creaking]
You're doing just fine.

You know what?

You know what
this reminds me of? What?

The first time I climbed up
to my tree house.

It wasn't quite this high,
but it seemed this high.

I guess I was
about 5 years old.

And you know what happened?

Never mind
the yak-yak, huh?

I mean, you know
what happened that first time

when I climbed up
to my tree house?

That's what happened.

Hey, are you hurt?
No, I'm Ok.

I guess it wasn't
a very good idea after all.

Hey, you are hurt.

No. Really,
I'm not hurt.

Hey, wait a minute.
Your wrist is cut.

It's just a scratch.
Let me take a look at that.

No, it's Ok.
Come here now.

One thing I can't stand
is a noble dame.

What are you gonna do?

Just administer
a little first aid.

Oh, no, you don't.
Oh, yes, I do.

You know, what's sauce
for the goose, etc.

You're just trying
to get even.

Right.

[groaning]

Hurts, huh?

Well, at least
the germs will die happy.

Ha, ha.

Now, let me take
a good look at that.

You should have
about 5 stitches put in there.

Flex your fingers.
No, flex them. Yeah.

No tendons cut.
Now separate them.

That's good.

And the median nerve
isn't severed either.

That's perfect.
You must live right.

How come you know so much
about this type of thing?

I used to play doctor-nursie
when I was a little boy.

No, seriously,
did you ever study medicine?

Yeah, I took a fling at it.

Well, I can't think
of a better profession.

Oh, listen, sister,
there's nothing at all noble about my intentions.

I wanted to be a doc because
if you make the grade,

it pays real good.

But I overlooked one thing.

It takes time

and money
just to get started.

[scoffs]

Lots of time,

and lots, lots of money.

Well, others do it.

Yeah, well, others don't get
the bad breaks I do.

Oh, tell me more.
I just adore soap operas.

Oh, what do you know
about the real side of life, sister?

You live in a locked-in world

of symbols and statues
and church chapels.

Sure, I wanted to be a doc.

But I didn't have any cash.

So I did everything,

from running errands
to friends of mine who were bookies,

to stealing hubcaps...

Well, quite a few other things
you really wouldn't dig.

But I saved up $3,000.

Gonna be a big man.

Gonna be William Watkins,
M.D.

Enter my old man.

Could smell money
clear across the country.

Tracked me down.

He said he felt that
he owed me something.

You know,
for running out on me when I was a kid,

and he had
a big deal cooking.

He could double my $3,000.

Yeah, well, my old man,

he took a powder
and with him went the money.

So I needed cash.
Guy comes up to me.

He wants a pair of shoes
delivered down here to Puerto Rico.

All I have to do
is wear those shoes down here,

deliver them
to a certain cobbler,

get the heels fixed.
That's all.

For that I was to get $5,000.

Must have been some shoes.

You would be surprised
how many stones

can fit into the heels
of one pair of shoes.

You like soap operas?

How about this one?

I never made it
to that cobbler.

I got picked up at the dock

and sent to detention camp
for a 6-month stretch.

Well, I sat it out 3 months.

Yesterday a guy
comes up to me.

He's got a friend in Nassau,
owns a casino.

He needs a dealer,
like, right now.

So, I cut out.

But something came up.
I didn't make it.

That something
was you, sister.

Now, if you don't mind,
I think I'm gonna grab myself 40 winks.

If anybody drops by,

offer them a drink, huh?

[wind howling]

[Watkins]
Uh,

sister,

w-would you mind telling me
what you're doing?

Well, I wouldn't know
how to explain.

Yeah, well,
uh, just take your time.

Maybe it'll
come to you, hmm?

Well, you see,

I--I heard the wind
blowing up above. Uh-huh.

And--and I felt that
there was a breeze in here.

Oh, well, if you're cold
you can use my sweater.

No, no, I was trying
to catch a draft.

You were?
Where was it going? Oh, never mind.

Now, look,
I asked you a simple question and I want an answer.

What were you doing there?

Well, if I told you,
you'd think I was crazy.

Now, of course I wouldn't.

Well, I, I was trying
to get airborne.

Airborne?

Yeah. I was trying to fly.

Oh.

I do fly, you know.
Yes, of course.

I mean fly, really fly.
Fly.

Like an airplane.
Well, of course you do.

And you must take
quite a few falls, too.

Sometimes. Not often.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

And--and where do you
usually do--do this flying?

Oh, most anyplace. I...

I usually take off
from the convent balcony, you know,

and then I usually
just fly around a few times,

and then I just go.

But it--it depends on
how gusty the wind is.

Oh, yeah, now.
So, I should imagine.

You see, I, I don't weigh
very much and,

and--and my cornet
acts like the wings of a bird

and that's how I fly.

Uh-huh.

Oh, I knew you
wouldn't believe me.

No, no, but I do.
I do. I do believe you.

[crying]
All I wanted to do was just find some wind

so that I could fly
and get out of here.

Oh, what's the use?

Hey. Hey, sister, now

now, come on,
don't you break up now.

I was counting on you
to get us out of here.

And--and if you break up,
I don't know

[sneezing]
What I'm gonna...

Hey, aw, don't cry.
Now, come on.

You know something?

You know something?
You're kind of cute at that.

I mean,
you're kooky as all get out, but you are kind of cute.

You know,

that's the first nice thing
you've said to me since we've been in here.

I know.
I haven't been much help,

and it's been
a very rough day for you.

[sniffing]

I've got it.
I've got just the thing to take your mind off it.

How would you
like to see me do a card trick, huh?

You have cards?

No, but I don't need them.

You do tricks without cards?

Mmm-hmm. That's right.

That makes us alike.
How's that?

Well, you do tricks
without cards,

and I fly without a plane.

Oh, now, look,
uh, I really want you

to keep your mind
away from that.

Just--just for
the time being, Ok?

Ok. Now...

Here we go. Now.

Ok, now, pick a card.

Any card?
Any card at all. 52 choices.

Now, look at it.
Don't let me see it.

Got it?
Got it.

Ok, put it back in the deck.

You won't peek?
No. Scout's honor.

Ok.
Ok, now.

What was your card?

Well, you're supposed
to tell me.

Oh, no, no,
you've got to tell me. That's part of this trick.

7 of hearts.

7 of

hearts.

7 of hearts.

That's right.

It was a marked card.

Oh, no,
that would be cheating.

Well, how'd you do it?

That I can't tell you.
That's professional ethics.

Can I try?
Help yourself.

Ok.

[imitating
shuffling of cards]

♪[humming]

I've got it.
We'll build a fire.

We'll build a fire?
Yes.

In here?
Right.

Look, I told you
if you were cold, you can have my sweater.

I am not cold.

What are you?
Some kind of pyromaniac?

No. I want to build a fire
to get us out of here.

Look, you cannot
build a fire in here.

Because if you
build a fire in here,

we're gonna burn up
all of this lovely oxygen.

And we wouldn't
want to do that now, would we?

Oh, don't be silly.

Me, silly.

Fire creates draft.

If I get
a strong enough draft,

I can fly out of here
and get help.

You will asphyxiate us.
That's what you'll do.

There's a very simple
principle of aerodynamics involved here,

having to do
with currents of air and laws of motion.

Yeah. There is
a very simple principle of insanity here!

Please do not shout.

I am not shouting!

Now, you're not
gonna build a fire here.

I certainly am.
You certainly are not.

And the reason
that you're not-- the reason that you're not

is because
I have got the matches.

[sighing]

Give me those matches.
Oh, no. No, no.

I want the matches.

No. Look, sister
now, you come one step closer to me...

[stuttering]
I'm sorry, but... You'll what?

If you come one step
closer to me I'll... So help me, I'll...

You'll what?
I'll let you have it. I'll let you have it.

I wouldn't do that
if I were you, Charlie.

You didn't do so well
on the first encounter.

That was a sneak attack.

You know
what your trouble is, William Watkins?

You don't know
how to fight.

You'd rather sit
on your duffle bag

and beef about
your bad luck because it's easy.

And every time
something goes wrong, you blame it on someone else.

Ok. Ok.

The good book says
ask and you shall receive

but it doesn't say
sit there on a velvet pillow

and they'll bring it to you.

Ok. Ok.

You wanna have a miracle,
I'll show you a miracle.

But you're gonna have to
believe in something for once in your life.

And that something is me.

Now I'm coming
after those matches

and you're not
going to stop me.

[grunting]

Give up?

Ok, sister. You win.

Have your fire. Build it.
Burn the whole place up.

I'm gonna have to go anyway,
it might as well...

Might as well be in flames.

Matches, please.

Thank you.

Well, I'll take off
any minute now. Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, well,
I'll have the band play anchors away.

One thing.
When we're out of here, promise me something.

Oh, if we get out of here,
I'll promise you anything.

Promise me
you won't tell anybody about my flying.

Oh, sister, believe me,
that is one thing

I will never
mention a word of to anybody.

You still don't believe
I can do it.

Well, I can always
use a laugh.

Hey, don't forget
to put out the fire.

Ok.

[breathing heavily]

If anybody's listening--

[bertrille]
You still there?

Sorry I took so long,
but I had to go find a rope.

Come on up.
I have it anchored to the station wagon.

It'll hold.

Well, I guess
I'll be shoving off.

Would you like a lift?

No, thanks. No.

I don't think I'm going
the way you're going.

Oh. Good luck.

That's all? Just good luck?

No lectures?
No last-minute sermons?

No. But if you ever
want a job in San Juan,

I know somebody
who can help you.

Well, thank you.
I'll remember that.

You know something, sister?

You're the first person
who ever played it straight with me.

And you know something else?

I got the feeling
that my luck has changed.

I--I feel free.
I don't know how it happened, but I'm free.

Maybe just because
somebody thinks I'm worth saving after all.

Goodbye, Dr. Watkins.

Bye.

[birds chirping]

Hey, wait a minute.

Um, there's a highway
up the road a couple of miles.

Maybe I could ride
part of the way with you after all.

Good.
Ok.

You want to drive?
Oh, sure.

Uh, just push that button.

[engine starting]

Uh,

on second thought,
I might as well go all the way.

[end credits]

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