All language subtitles for The Flying Nun s01e09 Days of Nuns and Roses.eng

[barking]

[Jacqueline]
It is one of the duties of the sisters

of the convent San Tanco
to remind people

that it is more blessed
to give than to receive.

It seems that very few could
afford to be blessed anymore.

Still, did that discourage
Sister Bertrille?

I'm sorry to say, it did.

No soup?
That's soap, sister.

And no clothes for the kids,
either.

Well, we got a donation
of sea grapes.

Oh, with this
stirring response,

no wonder we're
a non-profit organization.

I've had so many doors
closed in my face,

I'm lucky I don't have
splinters in my nose.

At one house
all I did was stop and ask for directions,

and the lady said
they already gave.

Lemonade, sisters?

Oh, yes.
That would be wonderful. Thank you.

Lemonade would
sure punch the spot.

That will be 5 cents,
please.

Now Fernando,
your arithmetic. How much is 3 times 2?

6 cents.
But for the clergy I give a discount.

Oh, well,
you mustn't do that.

Soon I'll make enough money
to buy a baseball glove.

And you'll enjoy it
all the more, Fernando,

because you
earned it yourself.

Sisters,
that's what we need.

Hmm?
What for do we need a baseball glove?

No. We need
to earn our own way.

We should be going around
with our heads up instead of our hands out.

I don't follow you.
Why, it's simple.

The convent is going
into business, that's all.

Plants, plastics, plumbers.

I don't suppose
we could be plumbers?

No, our cornets would
never fit under the sink.

Somehow, I don't think
the reverend mother

would take too kindly
to our wearing coveralls.

I don't think
reverend mother is going to like

this whole business
of our going into business.

Sister Ana,
hasn't the reverend mother

always put the good
of the order above everything else?

And besides,
by the time she gets back from rio piedras,

we'll already
be in production.

Oh, it'd be nice
to buy new clothes for the children.

New is better
than hand-me-outs. Downs, sister.

Ups, downs, outs,
they're all the same and we're through with them.

From now on,
we're self-sustaining. We're in business.

But what business?

Propellers,
protective coatings, psychiatrists...

I don't know.

All the best ones
seem to be taken.

Maybe we're approaching
this in the wrong way.

We should be
looking for a business that no one else is in,

therefore we have
a ready-made demand for our product.

I've got it.
What is it?

It's been staring us
in the face all along. What?

Tell us.
The Nectar of San Tanco.

The nectar
of San Tanco? Sea grape juice.

I've never
seen it in the market.

I've never
seen it advertised.

I've never even heard from it.
You're going to hear from it now.

Maybe you have
something there.

I wouldn't do that
if I were you, Sister Jacqueline.

You're eating
into profits.

It's very nice
to see you, Luis.

You don't come in
from arecibo that often.

With all the new hotels
and restaurants opening up,

uh, I am much occupied
supplying them with food.

You know, one of these days
I'm going to take my boat to your part of the island

and have a look
at the whole operation.

Carlos.
Wait till you hear...

Sister Bertrille,
can't you see I'm busy?

When will you
learn to knock?

Well, if I'd knocked,
you'd have said, "who is it?"

And I'd have said,
"Sister Bertrille,"

and you'd
have said, "come in," and since you're so busy,

you should be pleased
I'm saving you time.

How can you argue
with that kind of logic?

This is Sister Bertrille,
Luis Fierro.

I am most honored, sister.
How do you do?

Sister, what can I do
for you today even though the answer is already no.

It's not
what you can do for me, it's what I can do for you.

That's a switch.

Carlos, since you've
been so good to us,

such a kind and generous
friend to San Tanco--

how much is it going
to cost me this time?

Not one thin dime.

We've decided
to give you absolutely free, exclusive distribution rights.

Distribution rights,
for what?

I can't tell you.

It's still in
the planning stages

and we wouldn't want
word to leak out.

But we wouldn't think
of coming to anyone else but you.

Sister, what do I want with
exclusive distribution rights

to something
I know nothing about?

Well, I'll tell you this much,
the convent is coming out with a sensational product.

You already have one.

Religion.

Besides that.
Something that can be packaged,

something the world
has been waiting for.

Look. Sister--
Carlos, you don't have to show me your appreciation now.

We'll work out
the details later.

I don't want
to work out any details.

I don't want anything
to do with this.

You mean you want me
to go someplace else?

Frankly, yes.

Ok, but remember, Carlos,
opportunity only knocks once.

But at least it knocks.

Ok. Don't come crying
to me when you find out you blew a gold mine.

Bye.

Just a minute, sister.

If Carlos is
not interested, perhaps I am.

[Carlos]
Oh, Luis, be careful what you are saying.

But, surely,
if you can't trust a nun, whom can you trust?

Well, you don't know
this convent as I do.

These are not ordinary nuns.

Still, there's something
very imaginative about this proposition.

Other orders have
successfully gone into business.

And you would
be willing to accept exclusive distribution rights

to whatever it is,

sight unseen?

I would.

All right, provided that
it's a marketable product,

we'll go 50-50.

Done.

Oh, you won't be sorry.
I'm sure we won't.

But at least if we are,

this time I'll only
have to be half sorry.

[crickets chirping]

I do not understand,
sister.

You wish to buy
my sea grapes?

Your whole crop.

But,

nobody ever wanted
to buy the whole crop before.

Oh, it makes me
so happy to hear that.

You'll deliver of course?
Of course.

As soon as
they are paid for.

Oh, well,
you'll get your money on the 10th of the month.

But, uh, sister,
that is not customary.

Oh, it's obvious
you've never dealt with big business before.

Well, I am just
a small farmer.

Yes. Well, in big business,
everything is paid on the 10th of the month.

I don't know, sister.

I-- I'll let you in
on a little secret.

You know
Señor Carlos Ramirez?

The casino owner?
Yes.

Well, you see,
he has an interest in our business.

Carlos Ramirez?
Now, do you doubt that you'll get your money?

Me, doubt the word
of a sister?

Now don't forget,
the 10th of the month.

I will not forget, sister.

[Jacqueline]
What we didn't know about making sea grape juice...

[grape juice bubbling]

Pardon me,
the Nectar of San Tanco,

would fill a book.

It certainly
filled our basement.

I can't believe
we're actually in business.

We're in business
until the 10th of the month.

Oh, we'll have the money.

For the sea grapes?
The sugar? The bottles?

And the equipment rental.

And we'll have
enough money left over for our work with the kids.

[footsteps approaching]

These ninos would like
to lend a helping foot.

[Bertrille exclaiming]

Come on in.

Come on in.
The juice is fine.

[children chattering]

[stomping]

[Reverend Mother]
What is going on in here?

[Bertrille exclaiming]

Reverend mother,
welcome home.

Have we got
a surprise for you.

Sister Bertrille,
I wish to see you in my office.

Immediately.

[Bertrille]
So you see, reverend mother, with a business of our own,

we can shift for ourselves
and be beholden to no one.

You present a strong case,
Sister Bertrille.

But,

I would have preferred
that you consult with me first.

But, reverend mother,
there wasn't time.

In the world of big business,
you have to charge when the moment is ripe.

I see,
and the moment was ripe?

The moment,
and the grapes.

Oh, dear.
And to think that when I was away,

all I had to worry about
was your flying.

I've got both feet
on the ground this time, reverend mother.

A little purple,
but on the ground.

If only my faith
could match your enthusiasm.

Oh, reverend mother,
believe me. We know what we're doing.

Well, you saw
our assembly line.

Detroit couldn't
have set it up any better.

I admit,
things did seem to be running rather smoothly.

Oh, smoothly
isn't the word for it.

[Ana]
Sister Bertrille, come quickly.

I told you smoothly
wasn't the word for it. Excuse me.

Where are more buckets?

The others are looking.
I took the mop out of this one.

[grape juice bubbling]

What's happened?

Oh, the spigot broke,
and it's Niagara Falls in sea grape juice.

Oh, the pot
is broken, too.

Stir it or something.

[exclaiming]
Oh, Sister Bertrille, are you certain that

Detroit couldn't set this up
somewhat better?

Now reverend mother,
you mustn't let a little setback

keep you
from seeing the value of the whole enterprise.

I still say
we've got a good thing going.

Well, then I advise you
to-- to start filling those bottles

or your good thing is going
to go right out the door.

[all chattering]

Weeks of labor
and love went into this

and at long last here it is.

The first batch
of Nectar of San Tanco.

Taste that.

What do you think?

I think it's sea grape juice.

Well, that's just
its maiden name.

Oh, sister,
if I would have known that the business

you were going into
was the making of sea grape juice,

I would have laughed you
out of my office.

What's wrong with
sea grape juice?

Who's going to buy it?
Everybody.

How do you know?
It's never been on the market before.

Probably because
nobody will buy it.

Yes, but once you
and Señor Fierro get behind it--

Señor Fierro
is a big supplier.

He wouldn't stoop
to fool around

with something
like sea grape juice.

Oh, sister,
I don't want to get involved in this anymore.

We had a verbal contract.

We said if the product
was marketable.

Sister, I'm sorry,
but I have the feeling

that you and the others
have been wasting your time.

[sighing]
Please, don't waste mine.

Is that your final word?

It is.

Naturally, this means
you no longer have exclusive distribution rights.

Sister Bertrille,
you have made a valiant effort,

but the time has come
to face reality.

We were just not meant
to be businesswomen.

[sea grape juice bubbling]

This was our chance
to be independent,

to do something
for ourselves instead of always relying on charity.

Sister Bertrille,

the first epistle
of St. Paul to the Corinthians.

"And now abideth faith, hope,
and charity, these three:

And the greatest
of these is..."

"Charity."

[footsteps approaching]

Sister Bertrille,
there are several people here to see you.

About the nectar.
But...

Customers.
We gave up too soon. Oh, come on, come on.

Sisters, sisters,
be careful.

[bubbling]

Oh, reverend mother,
I don't even have a paper and pencil.

Well, you take the orders
and I'll remember all the names.

Good morning, sister.
Reverend mother.

[Reverend Mother]
Good morning.

We have come
for our money.

Oh, that.

[farmer]
It is the 10th of the month.

So soon?

[birds chirping]

Sister Bertrille,
who are these gentlemen?

I think you call
them creditors.

This is Señor Sea Grapes,

Señor Sugar, Señor Bottles,

Señor Equipment Rental,
Señor...

I don't know who he is.

I'm from the license bureau,
sister.

I feel it's my duty
to tell you,

you have to have
a license to run a business.

We set out to make
the Nectar of San Tanco,

only everybody calls it
sea grape juice.

All these people
want their moneys,

but we haven't got it
to give it to them,

because we haven't
sold a single bottle.

And you call that
running a business?

[Jacqueline]
Sister Bertrille managed to stave off

bankruptcy for a while,

by giving each
of the creditors a share of the business.

If this keeps up,

it doesn't take a
mathematical genius to figure out

that the only way we could
break even would be to go out of business.

Still, there were all those
bottles of Nectar of San Tanco to sell,

and Sister Bertrille
was willing to try anything.

[bubbling]

Want some juice?

Are you sure
it's sea grape juice?

I tasted it myself.

Carlos,

we have been friends
for a long time.

You would not be
trying to ease me out of a good thing?

Luis, believe me.

I saved you from
getting mixed up in a losing proposition,

Sister Bertrille's folly.

Such solicitude
on your part.

It is not like you,
Carlos.

You should be
thanking me, not insulting me.

You would not mind
if on my way back I investigate for myself?

Do that.

Then you can thank me.

Sea grape juice.

I was afraid
you'd say that.

I'm sorry, sister,
reverend mother,

it is very good, uh,
for sea grape juice,

but I'm afraid
I can't handle a homemade product such as this.

Of course, we understand.

Thank you for coming,
Señor Fierro.

Eh, Sister Jacqueline
will show you out.

[bubbling]

[tires screeching]

That was Señor Fierro,
what did he want?

Sampling the nectar.

What did he say?
Sea grape juice.

We'll offer him
a bigger percentage.

Señor Fierro.
Señor Fierro.

[mumbling]

Señor! Señor Fierro.

[Bertrille]
Señor Fierro,

I have to talk to you.

That's some powerful
sea grape juice.

Señor Fierro,
about our sea grape juice.

Yes, how about
that sea grape juice.

You sure know
how to improve it.

We try harder.

And you succeed.

Why don't you send me
4 cases to start with?

Oh. Oh, thank you.
I knew you'd change your mind.

Thank you.

Hi, Carlos.

We hear you're taking
a run to arecibo today.

Yeah. A pleasure trip.

Oh, well, do you mind
mixing a little of our business with your pleasure?

What business?

A product to which
Señor Fierro now has exclusive distribution rights.

You mean he has taken on
the sea grape juice?

4 cases of our
first batch.

Evidently, he sees
something in it you don't.

Well, evidently
he's seeing things.

And if you are asking me
to deliver these cases--

well, if you don't
then the children have to walk

all the way back
to the garage where the station wagon is being fixed

with those heavy cases
and we won't be able to make delivery

and we'll lose
our last chance to pay off our creditors.

Heavy, huh?
Very.

Ok. Put them in the car.

Oh, thank you.

Hup 2, kids. Hup 2,
hup 2, hup 2.

Buenas dias, Señor Ramirez.
Hello, Sergeant.

I'm sorry,
but nothing to report to customs this time.

As you say, Señor.
But if you would permit a question,

what might be
in these cases?

Sea grape juice. See?

[people chattering]

Uh, it says
Nectar of San Tanco.

That's another name
for sea grape juice.

[sergeant]
I'll have to examine it.

Help yourself.

[seagulls cawing]

You are under arrest.

For carrying
sea grape juice?

For smuggling sea grape wine.

He's in there, sister.

Thank you.

I came as soon as I heard.

Go away.

Carlos, you have a right
to be upset with me.

Upset. I'm furious.

Oh.

It's a good thing
for you, and for me,

that I am behind bars
at this moment.

I'm sure as soon as
the authorities understand--

they understand only
that I am a link in a vast

international
smuggling conspiracy.

They are holding me
until they uncover the rest of the organization.

Whoever they may be.

But this is ridiculous.

I know I can make
'em understand.

Oh, please, sister, please.
Go away.

My lawyers will
handle everything.

Isn't there
anything I can do?

You fixed it
so I'm in jail.

My boat is impounded.

My casino is padlocked.

Wouldn't you say
you have done enough already?

I just don't know
how our juice could have turned into wine.

You tell me.

Sister Ana says
it's a miracle,

but I think it must have
had something to do with fermentation.

You know what you should do?
What?

You should go back
to your sea grape farmer,

and tell him that
he doesn't have to be a poor laborer anymore.

He can get rich making wine.

Maybe I will, Carlos.
Thank you.

Even in misfortune,
you are thinking of others.

You know something,
you would have made a great nun.

Strange that a nun
should come to visit him.

Well, maybe she can
get a confession.

We could not.

That wine,
was it not labeled Nectar of San Tanco?

Where the sister
comes from.

And you did not
see the connection?

Sergeant,
we are looking for a smuggling ring.

Surely you
don't suspect...

I suspect everybody.

But, sister,

if you only had told me
you were going to make sea grape juice,

I would have warned you
what to expect.

You mean
you've made it, too?

Many times.

And it always
turned into wine? Oh, at first it did.

At first?

Come, sister,
I'll show you.

[birds chirping]

Looks like sea grape juice.

Smells like sea grape juice.

Oh, it doesn't taste
like sea grape juice.

We'll return
the rented equipment,

and we'll put the rest
back in the storeroom.

It seems such a shame.

Sister Bertrille
meant well.

Sister Jacqueline,
Sister Bertrille always means well.

We just have
to learn to live with it.

Come along, sister.

What is the meaning
of this?

Oh, reverend mother,

please forgive us,
as we beg your pardon most humbly,

but, uh...

Uh...
What he is trying to say,

reverend mother,
is this is a raid.

[inspector]
Very well, you may all turn around.

No false moves.

Sergeant,
you keep an eye on them.

This is the base
of their operations, all right.

It is a funny looking still.

Inspector, I feel there
must be some mistake.

Reverend mother,
you must understand

we hold no suspicions of you.

We feel that Ramirez
has used you as a front.

But inspector,
we're operating a legitimate business.

We even had
to get a license.

[sea grape juice bubbling]

Are you in the business
of making illegal wine?

Oh, well, no. We started out
by making sea grape juice.

[Bertrille]
Hi. And then we--

what's going on here?
Nothing much.

Instead of mass today,
we're having a raid.

Oh, Sister Bertrille,
we're so glad you've come.

Please explain
about the wine.

Aha, so Sister Bertrille
is the brains of this outfit, huh?

Well, I...

Tell me, sister,
do you admit making this?

Yes.

Ah, good.
Then you admit making the wine.

No.

Here, sister, tell me,

is this not wine?

Well, I...

Um, inspector, I-- I'm not
accustomed to drinking alone, won't you join me?

I never touch it
during working hours.

However, in the,
uh, line of duty...

Is there something
wrong with the wine?

It is not wine.
It is vinegar.

[inspector coughing]

Another miracle.

Then you cannot possibly
detain Señor Ramirez for,

uh, smuggling in vinegar,
can you?

No, reverend mother.

We must reexamine
the evidence against him.

I think you'll find
that's vinegar, too.

Reverend mother,
my apologies.

Accepted.
Good day, inspector.

I know we will be punished
for raiding the convent.

Come on.

Sister,
how did you know?

Well, I just found out
why no one's ever gone into the sea grape juice

business before.
Why?

It always
turns to vinegar.

[bubbling]

Señor Ramirez,

you must be certain
to thank Señor Fierro

for buying our vinegar.

Oh, I'm sure he was
glad to be of help.

Well, that does it.

We have a grand profit
of $19.75.

I told you we could
be self-sustaining.

Sister,
there is the matter of the license.

But we already
took out a license.

But that was
a license for making sea grape juice.

Now you must have
a license for making vinegar.

How much?

$20.

All we have is
$19 and 75 cents.

[sighing]
I knew it was going to end up costing me something.

[end credits]

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