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♪ upbeat theme playing ♪
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♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba,
ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
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00:00:08,343 --> 00:00:12,305
♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da
da-da-da ♪
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00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,436
- Being in a new relationship is great,
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but everyone has a past.
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And back when I was young,
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technology had a way of bringing
that past into the present.
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- So, after I took the kid's phone,
I turn around and said,
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"Not on my school bus."
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[loud, forced laughter]
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- That is so funny! [laughs]
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- Big laugh for a boring story,
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followed with a little arm squeeze.
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You guys are, like,
really into each other, huh?
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- Hello. Hello. Hello.
[cheering]
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00:00:49,718 --> 00:00:50,635
Drushi!
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00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:52,929
- Oh, that's what
we called Drew in college
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because his dorm room
always smelled like fish.
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- I didn't know you were coming to town.
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- Yeah, I convinced my attending
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to clear my surgeries for the weekend,
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so we could check out some wedding venues.
- Mm-hmm!
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Guys, I think we found the perfect venue.
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Creation at Wicker Farm.
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[impressed oohing]
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
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It's this gorgeous hotel
restaurant upstate.
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We're gonna spend the weekend there,
do a tasting,
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and they told us we can invite
two extra people. So--
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- Yes! In! I am creating
a road trip playlist as we speak.
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Text me the route
because I want Life Is a Highway
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to kick in the moment we pull onto...
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an actual highway? Huh?
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- We were gonna ask Sophie and Drew.
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- Sophie and Drew just started dating.
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I'm not sure they're ready
for a weekend getaway.
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- They've been dating for a month.
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- No, I know, I know.
It's just that, you know, uh,
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a weekend getaway's a big step,
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and I'm sure these two don't want that
just sprung on them like that.
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- We're in!
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- Oh great!
- Good. Fantastic.
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- Oh... good...
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SID:
Jesse,
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this is like a couple's thing,
you know? You're a lone wolf.
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- Cool euphemism
for pathetically single.
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But, actually, you're way off, okay?
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I just started seeing this
totally awesome girl named Mia.
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And I like her so much, I've even come up
with one of those cute little...
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punny... couple names for us.
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Mia and Jesse. We're Messy.
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- Hello, customers!
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[overlapping greetings]
I hope you all like beer...
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because I forgot
what you actually ordered.
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- Hey, Charlie, here's a copy of
your start papers and your passport.
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No idea why I photocopied it
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because you working here is,
like, completely illegal.
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- Man! You've been everywhere.
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You were in Brazil six months ago?
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- Yes. On a family trip.
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- I dated a Brazilian once.
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I didn't speak Portuguese,
he didn't speak English,
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so we had to speak with our bodies,
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and those conversations went deep.
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- Hoo-yeah!
- [nervous laugh] Another charming tale.
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I do love it when you casually work
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your previous sexual exploits
into conversation. It's such fun!
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- Oh, Charlie!
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First paycheck.
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New job. New apartment.
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I'm going to throw a lavish
housewarming dinner party this weekend
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to celebrate my many accomplishments.
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Ellen.
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You can invite that lucky lady who swiped
your post-divorce V-card last week.
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- What?
[impressed oohing]
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- No, no, no. I-I'm not inviting her.
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Alright, fine. Just us then.
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- Sorry to miss it. Sid and I
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00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:09,524
are actually taking a weekend trip
with Drew and Stacey.
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Sophie.
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Sorry.
- Oh. [scoffs]
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It's okay.
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Who is Stacey?
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- My ex was named Stacey.
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00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:22,996
Uh, we hung out with Sid and Hannah a lot
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when we were together, hence the mix-up.
- Oh.
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- Sorry. Won't happen again.
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- Already forgotten about it.
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I can't stop thinking about it!
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Like, I need to know
who this Stacey girl is,
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but I have no idea how to find her!
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- And I found her.
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- What? How?
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- Simple. Sid is friends with Hannah,
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so I found her account,
went to her tagged photos,
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scrolled back until I found a pic of
Hannah with a Staceycakes92
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where both S's are dollar signs.
But Staceycakes is obvi gay,
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so I started looking for girls who comment
on Hannah's posts a lot,
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and found a Stacey Fletcher,
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who always says Hannah's outfits are fire.
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So, I clicked on her IG,
scrolled back a couple of years,
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and boomshakalakaboom.
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Sophie meet Stacey,
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or Stacey circa two years ago
when she was dating Drew.
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- How many boardwalks
did they eat ice cream on?
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This is not what I needed
to see right before Drew and I
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have sex for the first time.
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- You haven't had sex yet?
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So, that's why you nerds were so giggly
about your romantic weekend.
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- Yeah. And I like that we waited.
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Plus, doing it for the first time
in a bougie-ass hotel
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is romantic as balls.
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Now, I'm just gonna be comparing
myself to Stacey the whole time
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and thinking about how she can
roller skate backwards in a sun dress.
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- Soph, everyone has exes.
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Do not get in your head about this.
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Repeat after me.
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I... am...
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sex.
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- [quietly]: I... am... sex.
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- Louder.
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I! Am! Sex!
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- I! Am! Sex!
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NEIGHBOR:
We get it! You're sex! Shut the hell up!
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♪
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- Voilà! A dining table.
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[clattering]
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- Ellen, are we eating on Amazon boxes
covered in your unicorn bed sheets?
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00:05:14,649 --> 00:05:17,736
- Pottery Barn Kids is way cheaper
than Pottery Barn regular.
129
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:22,198
Is that all the food?
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00:05:22,198 --> 00:05:23,450
- Unfortunately, yes.
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00:05:23,450 --> 00:05:26,745
I may have overestimated
how far a bartender's paycheck would go.
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- Why didn't you just buy cheaper stuff?
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00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:30,498
- Cheaper stuff?
What do you want me to do,
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serve chunks of pepper jack
and pigs in a blanket?
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00:05:33,043 --> 00:05:35,712
This is the first dinner
we're hosting, Ellen.
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Tonight will set the tenor
for our entire social lives.
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00:05:38,715 --> 00:05:42,177
- Dude, we're eating dinner
with my brother and your girlfriend
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00:05:42,177 --> 00:05:44,012
on a table made of boxes.
139
00:05:44,012 --> 00:05:46,181
[knocking]
- Oh my god, they're here already!
140
00:05:46,181 --> 00:05:49,726
Alright, Ellen.
Remember, we are the hosts.
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If we're having fun,
they're having fun.
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Ready?
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00:05:53,063 --> 00:05:56,524
[forced laughter] Hello!
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00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:59,069
Ellen was just telling me
the most winning of anecdotes.
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Come in! Come in!
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00:06:00,362 --> 00:06:02,572
- Uh, guys, this is Mia.
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00:06:02,572 --> 00:06:05,575
Mia, this is Charlie,
and this is my sister Ellen.
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00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:08,954
Mia. Hi.
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00:06:09,704 --> 00:06:13,124
It is so nice to meet you.
For the first time.
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00:06:15,293 --> 00:06:16,503
- Oh, is that real leopard?
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00:06:17,128 --> 00:06:19,256
- No, this is a shirt
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00:06:19,256 --> 00:06:21,258
with a design on it.
153
00:06:21,258 --> 00:06:25,053
- Still, how would you feel
if I had your skin printed on a shirt?
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00:06:25,679 --> 00:06:27,013
- Mia is an activist.
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00:06:27,013 --> 00:06:28,807
She's really passionate about her causes,
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00:06:28,807 --> 00:06:30,892
which I find to be really inspiring.
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- Mia! I would like to give you the tour.
[laughs] Uh...
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This is the living-dining-kitchen-
guest-bed-breakfast-nook-foyer-room,
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00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:41,027
and over here is...
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[whispers]:
Hello, Mia.
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- Hello, woman who never responded
to my many voice texts
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after using me for sex.
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00:06:48,326 --> 00:06:49,703
- Shh...
- Oh, it is you!
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00:06:49,703 --> 00:06:51,246
I was drinking an iced coffee,
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00:06:51,246 --> 00:06:54,040
and you shouted at me for using a straw
even though it actually was made of paper.
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00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,917
- Shh! Look,
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00:06:55,917 --> 00:06:59,170
I think it would be best
if Jesse doesn't find out...
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00:06:59,921 --> 00:07:01,673
we...
- Oh, I'm not comfortable lying.
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00:07:01,673 --> 00:07:03,633
I leave that to the politicians.
170
00:07:04,092 --> 00:07:06,928
- Please. He's coming off
a really bad breakup.
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00:07:06,928 --> 00:07:09,806
If he finds out that the first girl
he's been into since his ex
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00:07:09,806 --> 00:07:11,558
slept with his sister...
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[whispers]:
it'll scar him for life.
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00:07:12,893 --> 00:07:15,270
- Plus, this is our first
social event together,
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00:07:15,270 --> 00:07:18,523
and a brother and sister
having shared a lover is a bit unseemly.
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00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:21,693
- Fine. I'll keep your secret,
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00:07:21,693 --> 00:07:24,362
but only because I would
never want to hurt Jesse.
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00:07:24,362 --> 00:07:25,655
You are lucky I'm an empath.
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- Disaster averted. Now,
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shall we give everyone their one oyster?
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♪
182
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- Welcome to Creation at Wicker Farm.
183
00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:38,335
I'm Grant Rose.
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♪ classical music ♪
185
00:07:39,419 --> 00:07:40,212
The owner.
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00:07:40,212 --> 00:07:43,340
- Uh, yeah, no, I could tell.
Um, I own a bar in Manhattan.
187
00:07:43,340 --> 00:07:45,467
We both have BOE--
Big owner energy.
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00:07:45,467 --> 00:07:47,219
- [laughs] Creation
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00:07:47,219 --> 00:07:50,013
is the world's first
hyper-local restaurant.
190
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:52,849
All of our food is sourced from the farm,
191
00:07:52,849 --> 00:07:54,726
but everything else you see here
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00:07:54,726 --> 00:07:58,313
was also made from materials
found on the property.
193
00:07:58,813 --> 00:08:01,358
- Wow! So, the-the entire building?
194
00:08:01,358 --> 00:08:03,985
- Built from cedar trees
from the forest behind us.
195
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:06,279
- What about the host?
[Drew laughs]
196
00:08:06,279 --> 00:08:07,948
You didn't make him? [laughs]
197
00:08:07,948 --> 00:08:10,033
- Actually, I did. He's my son!
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00:08:10,033 --> 00:08:11,910
ALL: Oh!
199
00:08:11,910 --> 00:08:14,371
Conceived in the room
you're actually staying in.
200
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,748
- Kinda gross.
201
00:08:19,834 --> 00:08:22,587
[restaurant chatter]
202
00:08:23,255 --> 00:08:25,048
- This place is super romantic.
203
00:08:25,048 --> 00:08:26,508
Hope our room has the same vibe.
204
00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:29,761
- I know it will
'cause we're staying in it.
205
00:08:29,761 --> 00:08:30,804
[both click tongues]
206
00:08:32,097 --> 00:08:33,515
[inhales]
207
00:08:33,515 --> 00:08:35,016
I am sex...
208
00:08:36,268 --> 00:08:37,519
[sighs]
209
00:08:38,687 --> 00:08:40,355
Wait a sec.
210
00:08:40,355 --> 00:08:43,441
♪
211
00:08:43,441 --> 00:08:45,068
He took Stacey here.
212
00:08:47,529 --> 00:08:49,906
What nerd created this devil app?
213
00:08:51,324 --> 00:08:52,367
[sighs]
214
00:08:56,121 --> 00:08:59,207
[pouring]
- I am very excited for this risotto.
215
00:08:59,207 --> 00:09:00,375
♪ soft music ♪
216
00:09:00,375 --> 00:09:02,002
- Why? You had it before?
217
00:09:03,336 --> 00:09:05,505
- No, just hungry.
- Oh.
218
00:09:07,007 --> 00:09:10,635
I only ask because
I-I saw you walk to the... bathroom,
219
00:09:10,635 --> 00:09:12,679
and it seemed like you
really knew your way around.
220
00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:14,931
- Hm. Well, I've never been here,
221
00:09:14,931 --> 00:09:18,018
but I'm glad to know you like
to watch me walk away.
222
00:09:18,810 --> 00:09:21,187
- I like cute butts, and I cannot lie.
223
00:09:24,065 --> 00:09:27,903
- Sid, I am definitely
picking up on your BOE.
224
00:09:27,903 --> 00:09:30,405
- Oh my god, BOE is happening...
225
00:09:31,615 --> 00:09:34,075
- What made you decide
to open your own place?
226
00:09:34,075 --> 00:09:36,828
- Well, I grew up in India,
and like all good Indians,
227
00:09:36,828 --> 00:09:38,580
my dad and I spent
our afternoons watching
228
00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:39,873
movies about New York City.
229
00:09:39,873 --> 00:09:41,541
♪ In springtime in New York... ♪
230
00:09:53,386 --> 00:09:55,347
♪
231
00:09:55,347 --> 00:09:57,140
SID:
So, my family moved to New York,
232
00:09:57,140 --> 00:09:58,683
I studied hard, got into med school.
233
00:09:58,683 --> 00:10:01,186
That's where Hannah and I met.
234
00:10:01,186 --> 00:10:02,562
She was born to be a doctor.
235
00:10:02,562 --> 00:10:04,564
Me?
236
00:10:04,564 --> 00:10:06,149
Not so much.
237
00:10:07,192 --> 00:10:10,737
But, I did love the bar
where I spent hours and hours studying,
238
00:10:10,737 --> 00:10:12,697
and I loved the man who owned it.
239
00:10:12,697 --> 00:10:14,658
Archie.
240
00:10:14,658 --> 00:10:16,201
And then one day...
241
00:10:16,201 --> 00:10:17,661
♪
242
00:10:17,661 --> 00:10:19,246
Archie passed away,
243
00:10:19,246 --> 00:10:22,249
and suddenly, what I had to do
was crystal clear.
244
00:10:22,249 --> 00:10:24,960
So, I took out a loan and bought the bar.
245
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,420
It was a big swing,
but felt like the right decision
246
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:28,630
And, uh,
247
00:10:28,630 --> 00:10:30,549
Hannah supported me the entire time.
248
00:10:30,549 --> 00:10:32,050
- Hm. Of course I did.
249
00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:34,302
GRANT:
Wow, what an incredible story.
250
00:10:34,302 --> 00:10:35,679
And equally incredible,
251
00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:37,556
our lobster risotto...
252
00:10:37,556 --> 00:10:40,016
with an edible fork...
253
00:10:40,016 --> 00:10:41,726
made of focaccia.
254
00:10:42,894 --> 00:10:44,396
- [whispers]: Wait a second.
255
00:10:46,231 --> 00:10:49,234
♪
256
00:10:53,196 --> 00:10:54,948
- Everything okay?
- Mm-hmm!
257
00:10:54,948 --> 00:10:55,907
BRB.
258
00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:01,413
- I remember those sheets...
- Shut up, shut up, shut up.
259
00:11:01,413 --> 00:11:02,914
[nervous laugh]
260
00:11:03,373 --> 00:11:05,792
- Everyone, please pluck one leaf
261
00:11:05,792 --> 00:11:07,919
and pass it to the left.
262
00:11:08,545 --> 00:11:11,298
So, a pluck... [grunts]
263
00:11:11,298 --> 00:11:13,049
and pass. Give it a go.
264
00:11:14,175 --> 00:11:16,386
I tell you, I do feel sorry
for Sophie and Sid.
265
00:11:16,386 --> 00:11:18,346
They are missing
the party of the century.
266
00:11:18,346 --> 00:11:20,432
[plucking]
I said one leaf, Mia.
267
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,059
- I hope Sophie's doing okay.
268
00:11:23,059 --> 00:11:26,146
She was really in her head
about Drew's ex before she left.
269
00:11:26,146 --> 00:11:28,398
I wish she was more... Zen.
270
00:11:28,398 --> 00:11:30,650
Like Charlie. He doesn't care
at all when I talk about my exes.
271
00:11:31,484 --> 00:11:33,153
- No, not at all. [nervous laugh]
272
00:11:33,153 --> 00:11:36,156
Now, is anyone following
the Polo Premier League?
273
00:11:36,156 --> 00:11:38,408
- My relationship history is an open book.
274
00:11:38,408 --> 00:11:40,243
Books, actually.
275
00:11:41,286 --> 00:11:42,787
And it's a long one. [laughs]
276
00:11:42,787 --> 00:11:44,664
- Actually, Valentina, I hate it, alright?
277
00:11:44,664 --> 00:11:45,749
VALENTINA:
Really? Why?
278
00:11:45,749 --> 00:11:48,209
I wouldn't care if you talked
about your exes at all.
279
00:11:48,877 --> 00:11:49,878
- Alright, fine.
280
00:11:50,754 --> 00:11:52,589
Remember when you were
looking through my passport,
281
00:11:52,589 --> 00:11:54,591
and I said I went to Brazil
on a family trip?
282
00:11:55,258 --> 00:11:57,802
Well, I lied. I went there for a girl.
283
00:11:57,802 --> 00:11:59,554
ELLEN/JESSE:
Ooh...
284
00:11:59,554 --> 00:12:02,557
- So, you had a fling
with a woman in Brazil.
285
00:12:03,225 --> 00:12:04,935
Good for you.
286
00:12:05,685 --> 00:12:07,479
- Actually, it was a bit more than that.
287
00:12:08,897 --> 00:12:11,107
I moved to Brazil... to be with her.
288
00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:13,109
ELLEN/MIA/JESSE:
Ooh...
289
00:12:14,027 --> 00:12:15,278
- Oh.
290
00:12:16,321 --> 00:12:19,741
So, I'm not the only woman
you've moved to another country for.
291
00:12:20,533 --> 00:12:22,244
Cool.
[thud]
292
00:12:23,203 --> 00:12:24,329
Fun.
293
00:12:30,418 --> 00:12:32,045
- [voice cracking]:
More wine, anyone?
294
00:12:32,921 --> 00:12:35,757
♪
295
00:12:35,757 --> 00:12:38,552
- Let's prove you're lying,
you lying liar.
296
00:12:42,973 --> 00:12:45,100
Ha! I knew it.
297
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:48,562
Of course, Stacey's handwriting's
[mocking]: in cursive.
298
00:12:48,562 --> 00:12:50,480
We get it. You're smart.
299
00:12:52,107 --> 00:12:54,025
[shutter snaps]
300
00:12:54,025 --> 00:12:57,028
♪
301
00:12:57,988 --> 00:13:01,241
- And that is the entire
Wikipedia entry on colonialism.
302
00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:03,159
- [sighs] Wow.
303
00:13:03,159 --> 00:13:04,661
- Wow.
304
00:13:05,161 --> 00:13:08,081
- Hey, just a few of super-chill
follow-up questions
305
00:13:08,081 --> 00:13:10,750
to that fun story you told
about the Brazilian girl...
306
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:13,879
- Valentina, I was just proving a point
that nobody likes to hear about exes.
307
00:13:13,879 --> 00:13:16,047
Okay? No need to dwell on it.
308
00:13:16,756 --> 00:13:18,174
- I don't care that you have exes.
309
00:13:18,174 --> 00:13:21,469
I care that, apparently,
you moved across the world
310
00:13:21,469 --> 00:13:23,430
for another girl.
- Girls, okay?
311
00:13:23,430 --> 00:13:24,806
It's happened more than once.
312
00:13:25,807 --> 00:13:26,808
- What?!
313
00:13:27,392 --> 00:13:29,102
- Jesse?
314
00:13:29,102 --> 00:13:31,646
I don't want our relationship
to start on a lie like theirs did.
315
00:13:32,355 --> 00:13:33,481
I slept with your sister.
316
00:13:33,481 --> 00:13:35,025
- What?!
- Damn it!
317
00:13:35,025 --> 00:13:36,026
[gags]
318
00:13:36,401 --> 00:13:38,194
- That dinner was amazing.
319
00:13:38,194 --> 00:13:40,530
I mean, I think we found our venue, huh?
320
00:13:41,948 --> 00:13:44,701
- Did you just rent a movie
without asking me which one?
321
00:13:44,701 --> 00:13:48,413
- What? I got the Eternals because your
celebrity crush is buff Kumail Nanjiani.
322
00:13:49,998 --> 00:13:50,999
Hold up.
323
00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:53,793
You definitely have a type.
[Hannah sighs]
324
00:13:54,711 --> 00:13:58,757
- I cannot believe you just made another
decision without consulting me!
325
00:13:59,424 --> 00:14:01,218
- Okay, this is not
about the movie, is it?
326
00:14:01,593 --> 00:14:03,094
- No, Sid.
327
00:14:04,221 --> 00:14:06,306
This is about you quitting medical school,
328
00:14:06,306 --> 00:14:08,600
so you could upend our lives
and buy a bar.
329
00:14:10,185 --> 00:14:12,646
I thought I was past it,
but hearing you tell that story tonight,
330
00:14:12,646 --> 00:14:14,648
it just brought up
all these old feelings in me.
331
00:14:15,565 --> 00:14:18,818
I never would have made a decision
like that without talking to you.
332
00:14:19,444 --> 00:14:21,905
- Hannah,
I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but,
333
00:14:21,905 --> 00:14:24,282
like, what's done is done.
334
00:14:24,783 --> 00:14:26,284
- "What's done is done"?
335
00:14:26,993 --> 00:14:28,578
That's what you have to say?
336
00:14:30,372 --> 00:14:31,873
- What's done is done...
337
00:14:33,416 --> 00:14:34,834
please?
338
00:14:38,380 --> 00:14:39,381
[door shuts]
339
00:14:39,381 --> 00:14:42,342
- I am gonna freshen up real quick,
so our night...
340
00:14:42,342 --> 00:14:44,344
[snap]
can begin.
341
00:14:46,846 --> 00:14:50,225
That was so lame. Can I take that back?
- Uh-huh.
342
00:14:50,892 --> 00:14:53,103
- Great. See you soon.
343
00:14:53,895 --> 00:14:56,398
[muttering]:
You're an idiot! Be sexier.
344
00:15:03,029 --> 00:15:04,823
- [quietly]: Well, Drew definitely
brought Stacey here,
345
00:15:04,823 --> 00:15:06,199
and he's lying to me about it.
346
00:15:06,199 --> 00:15:07,492
- Are you drunk?
347
00:15:08,201 --> 00:15:11,204
- The only thing
I'm drunk on is hard truth.
348
00:15:11,204 --> 00:15:12,706
I'm sending you proof.
349
00:15:13,707 --> 00:15:15,500
[notification whooshes]
Did you get it?
350
00:15:16,167 --> 00:15:17,168
- Not yet.
351
00:15:18,086 --> 00:15:19,087
- Oh, no.
352
00:15:20,797 --> 00:15:23,967
I meant to DM you, but instead,
I DMed Stacey.
353
00:15:23,967 --> 00:15:26,136
Oh god, oh god, oh god, she's definitely
gonna reach out to Drew
354
00:15:26,136 --> 00:15:27,178
and tell him I'm crazy!
355
00:15:27,178 --> 00:15:29,472
- Almost as crazy as someone who follows
356
00:15:29,472 --> 00:15:33,184
[loudly]: women around the world,
like a horny Carmen San Diego!
357
00:15:35,312 --> 00:15:36,855
So, what are you going to do about Drew?
358
00:15:38,023 --> 00:15:39,482
♪
359
00:15:39,482 --> 00:15:40,984
- Something stupid.
360
00:15:41,985 --> 00:15:42,986
[inhales]
361
00:15:49,409 --> 00:15:50,660
- Hey, there...
362
00:15:52,746 --> 00:15:54,539
[Sophie whimpering]
[vending machine banging]
363
00:15:54,956 --> 00:15:56,207
[sighs]
364
00:15:56,207 --> 00:15:57,876
- Sophie? What are you doing out here?
365
00:15:57,876 --> 00:15:59,669
- I screwed up.
366
00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:00,879
What are you doing out here?
367
00:16:00,879 --> 00:16:02,422
- I screwed up, too.
368
00:16:02,422 --> 00:16:03,924
[phone beeping]
[sighs]
369
00:16:04,925 --> 00:16:05,926
Oh!
370
00:16:07,427 --> 00:16:08,970
- Ooh, seems like you screwed up more.
371
00:16:08,970 --> 00:16:11,014
- [mocking]:
Oh, you screwed up more! Ha, ha!
372
00:16:15,101 --> 00:16:16,686
- Sorry, I'm just trying to... [scoffs]
373
00:16:16,686 --> 00:16:18,271
wrap my head around this. Uh...
374
00:16:18,271 --> 00:16:21,149
when exactly did the two
of you sleep together?
375
00:16:21,733 --> 00:16:24,236
- Monday night. When did you guys meet?
376
00:16:25,820 --> 00:16:27,364
- Tuesday morning.
377
00:16:29,366 --> 00:16:31,868
I met her at a coffee shop
on my way to your place.
378
00:16:31,868 --> 00:16:34,079
♪
379
00:16:34,079 --> 00:16:35,121
Hi.
380
00:16:35,872 --> 00:16:37,332
- Hi.
381
00:16:37,332 --> 00:16:39,584
- Okay, that timeline is, uh...
382
00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:41,753
chill.
383
00:16:42,671 --> 00:16:45,590
You know what, I'm not gonna
let a... quirky coincidence
384
00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:47,634
stand in the way of
me and my relationship.
385
00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:49,636
- Wow, you must be amazing in bed.
386
00:16:49,636 --> 00:16:51,555
- She's just okay.
- I haven't actually slept with her yet.
387
00:16:51,555 --> 00:16:52,597
Oh my god!
388
00:16:53,848 --> 00:16:55,308
VALENTINA:
So...
389
00:16:55,308 --> 00:16:58,228
let's do a deep dive here
on the old passport.
390
00:16:58,228 --> 00:17:00,939
I say a country,
you say why you went there.
391
00:17:00,939 --> 00:17:02,482
Portugal.
- Girl.
392
00:17:02,482 --> 00:17:04,150
- Spain.
- Tapas.
393
00:17:04,859 --> 00:17:06,403
It was a girl.
394
00:17:07,571 --> 00:17:09,030
- Hey, what's your Wi-Fi?
395
00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:11,741
I need to tweet a bomb threat
to Panera Bread
396
00:17:11,741 --> 00:17:14,411
for their appropriation of poppy seeds.
397
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,913
- How do you appropriate a seed?
398
00:17:17,289 --> 00:17:19,374
- Oh, if you don't know,
you're part of the problem.
399
00:17:19,374 --> 00:17:22,377
- I can't do this anymore.
Mia, you are the worst.
400
00:17:23,628 --> 00:17:25,964
- Finally! How did you not see it earlier?
401
00:17:25,964 --> 00:17:28,091
- I saw it!
I'm just trying to power through
402
00:17:28,091 --> 00:17:29,801
'cause I'm so sick of being single!
403
00:17:30,927 --> 00:17:32,762
It should be me at that dinner tonight.
404
00:17:35,181 --> 00:17:37,100
- Because you miss hanging out
with Sid and Hannah,
405
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,561
or because you wanna be with Sophie?
406
00:17:39,978 --> 00:17:41,438
- What?
407
00:17:41,438 --> 00:17:43,523
The first one, obviously.
408
00:17:44,816 --> 00:17:47,319
- I don't know who any
of those people are. I'm outtie.
409
00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:50,989
- I'm gonna go, too, Charlie.
- Look, please don't leave like this.
410
00:17:50,989 --> 00:17:54,284
Look, I-I swear you're not
just part of some pattern.
411
00:17:55,201 --> 00:17:57,662
Alright, this time, it really is diff--
- I don't believe you.
412
00:17:57,662 --> 00:18:00,707
♪
413
00:18:03,543 --> 00:18:05,837
[notification chimes]
414
00:18:05,837 --> 00:18:06,838
- What am I gonna do?
415
00:18:06,838 --> 00:18:09,883
I need to get into Drew's phone
to delete Stacey's texts
416
00:18:09,883 --> 00:18:12,302
before he sees them
and realizes I did something crazy!
417
00:18:12,302 --> 00:18:13,386
[texting stops]
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
418
00:18:13,386 --> 00:18:15,138
what just happened?
- Hm.
419
00:18:15,138 --> 00:18:17,224
- Why did the texts disappear?
420
00:18:17,224 --> 00:18:19,726
- Yeah, Drew probably read them
on his laptop.
421
00:18:21,353 --> 00:18:22,395
[whimpers]
422
00:18:22,979 --> 00:18:23,980
- This is so unfair!
423
00:18:23,980 --> 00:18:25,732
He's the one who lied about being here,
424
00:18:25,732 --> 00:18:28,818
and now, I look like the psycho. [sighs]
425
00:18:28,818 --> 00:18:30,362
- Okay, Sophie...
426
00:18:30,946 --> 00:18:33,156
I don't know exactly what's going on
with you and Drew,
427
00:18:33,156 --> 00:18:35,408
but you don't need to worry about Stacey.
428
00:18:35,408 --> 00:18:38,286
Stacey's just an ex.
Everyone has an ex.
429
00:18:38,286 --> 00:18:39,704
- Not me.
430
00:18:41,873 --> 00:18:44,584
I mean, I've dated a ton of guys,
431
00:18:45,335 --> 00:18:46,795
but I've never...
432
00:18:46,795 --> 00:18:49,297
actually been in a serious relationship.
433
00:18:50,048 --> 00:18:52,467
It always fizzles out
before it gets to that point.
434
00:18:54,010 --> 00:18:55,762
- Well, at least you don't
steamroll your partner
435
00:18:55,762 --> 00:18:58,598
by making major life decisions
without consulting her.
436
00:19:00,684 --> 00:19:04,020
- Is that why you're out here, buying an
apology Kit Kat from the vending machine?
437
00:19:04,938 --> 00:19:05,939
- Guilty.
438
00:19:07,023 --> 00:19:08,817
Yeah, apparently Hannah hasn't forgiven me
439
00:19:08,817 --> 00:19:12,112
for derailing our life plan by
buying a bar without asking her.
440
00:19:16,616 --> 00:19:19,035
- Why didn't you? Ask her?
441
00:19:20,328 --> 00:19:21,580
- I don't know.
442
00:19:22,289 --> 00:19:25,417
I spent the first 27 years of my life
trying to make my parents happy.
443
00:19:25,417 --> 00:19:27,377
Then I met Hannah,
I wanted to make her happy, too.
444
00:19:27,377 --> 00:19:29,170
And with the bar, I just finally
wanted to do something
445
00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:30,755
that would make me happy.
446
00:19:31,715 --> 00:19:34,259
And I knew if I didn't just, like,
propel my body to that bank
447
00:19:34,259 --> 00:19:36,720
and apply for that loan,
I'd end up chickening out.
448
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,096
You know?
449
00:19:38,096 --> 00:19:41,099
♪
450
00:19:41,766 --> 00:19:44,644
- Do you think if you had
asked Hannah first,
451
00:19:44,644 --> 00:19:46,521
that she wouldn't have supported you?
452
00:19:46,521 --> 00:19:48,023
- Ah, she would have.
453
00:19:49,649 --> 00:19:52,444
Definitely would have.
[laughs] Messed up.
454
00:19:54,070 --> 00:19:58,158
Hey, I know it's super scary to go
all-in on a relationship.
455
00:19:58,825 --> 00:20:00,869
And, from what I know
about your childhood,
456
00:20:00,869 --> 00:20:04,122
you probably feel like the rug could be
ripped out from under you at any second.
457
00:20:05,582 --> 00:20:06,583
- Yeah.
458
00:20:07,667 --> 00:20:08,919
I do.
459
00:20:10,337 --> 00:20:12,881
- But, if it's the right person...
460
00:20:16,051 --> 00:20:17,552
things can work out.
461
00:20:19,721 --> 00:20:21,223
I promise.
462
00:20:21,890 --> 00:20:22,891
[Sophie sighs]
463
00:20:23,934 --> 00:20:26,353
- Let's go talk to our people.
- Mm-hmm.
464
00:20:28,688 --> 00:20:30,440
Hey! Hey, now!
465
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,109
You're seriously gonna go back there
without a peace offering Kit Kat?
466
00:20:33,109 --> 00:20:34,110
[laughs]
467
00:20:35,946 --> 00:20:37,948
You really haven't been in a relationship.
468
00:20:44,371 --> 00:20:45,622
- Listen.
469
00:20:45,622 --> 00:20:48,083
I have known for a very long time
470
00:20:48,083 --> 00:20:50,961
that I've had to escape
from my petty, stifling family.
471
00:20:50,961 --> 00:20:53,797
And, yes, I have often
followed women across the world
472
00:20:53,797 --> 00:20:55,048
as a way of doing that.
473
00:20:56,383 --> 00:20:58,301
But it's never felt right.
474
00:20:59,094 --> 00:21:00,095
Until now.
475
00:21:01,263 --> 00:21:03,265
And I've figured out how
I'm gonna prove it to you.
476
00:21:04,182 --> 00:21:06,017
[sighs]
- What are you doing?!
477
00:21:06,017 --> 00:21:09,271
- I'm proving to you that you
are not just part of some pattern.
478
00:21:10,188 --> 00:21:11,940
I'm not going anywhere, Valentina.
479
00:21:11,940 --> 00:21:14,109
Oh my god, this is really hot!
480
00:21:16,486 --> 00:21:17,487
[both scream]
481
00:21:17,487 --> 00:21:19,322
- What the hell is your
passport made out of?!
482
00:21:19,322 --> 00:21:21,700
- I soaked it in lighter fluid
on the way over.
483
00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:23,326
I was going for high drama!
484
00:21:29,082 --> 00:21:30,333
- That was... sweet.
485
00:21:32,502 --> 00:21:34,170
Look, just so you know,
486
00:21:34,170 --> 00:21:37,048
I wouldn't usually spiral
in such a lame basic way
487
00:21:37,048 --> 00:21:39,467
about you having exes. There were...
488
00:21:39,467 --> 00:21:41,678
extenuating circumstances.
489
00:21:43,513 --> 00:21:44,806
- What were they?
490
00:21:48,977 --> 00:21:50,478
- I...
491
00:21:50,478 --> 00:21:52,814
♪
492
00:21:52,814 --> 00:21:54,816
...love you.
493
00:21:58,820 --> 00:21:59,863
- I love you, too.
494
00:22:01,698 --> 00:22:04,743
♪
495
00:22:10,874 --> 00:22:13,877
♪
496
00:22:13,877 --> 00:22:15,420
- From now on,
497
00:22:15,420 --> 00:22:17,797
I want you to be a part of
every big life decision I make
498
00:22:17,797 --> 00:22:20,258
until we die together at 98.
499
00:22:20,258 --> 00:22:21,760
Mid-penetrayshe.
500
00:22:23,303 --> 00:22:24,304
- Thank you.
501
00:22:25,722 --> 00:22:28,350
But you know,
I don't wanna die mid-penetrayshe.
502
00:22:29,434 --> 00:22:32,771
I want us to die drinking
Cadillac margaritas
503
00:22:32,771 --> 00:22:36,691
on safari because our IRAs
are so well-funded. [laughs]
504
00:22:36,691 --> 00:22:39,569
♪
505
00:22:39,569 --> 00:22:41,321
- Well,
506
00:22:41,321 --> 00:22:43,323
both of those things can be true.
507
00:22:44,366 --> 00:22:47,077
Man, we are gonna ruin
so many people's safari.
508
00:22:47,077 --> 00:22:49,329
[laughs]
509
00:22:50,789 --> 00:22:53,833
♪
510
00:22:57,462 --> 00:22:58,505
BOTH:
I'm sorry.
511
00:23:00,632 --> 00:23:02,133
- Me first.
512
00:23:04,469 --> 00:23:06,388
I'm sorry I stole your phone
513
00:23:07,931 --> 00:23:10,016
and called your ex a bitch.
514
00:23:11,017 --> 00:23:13,186
- And I'm sorry for lying
to you about having been here.
515
00:23:14,271 --> 00:23:16,481
I just didn't want to explain
how I got into, like,
516
00:23:16,481 --> 00:23:19,818
a huge blowout fight
with Stacey at the same place
517
00:23:19,818 --> 00:23:21,778
we're having a romantic weekend.
518
00:23:22,529 --> 00:23:24,531
- [scoffs] According to the Gram,
519
00:23:24,531 --> 00:23:26,366
and the guest book,
520
00:23:26,366 --> 00:23:28,618
you guys had the best night of your lives.
521
00:23:28,618 --> 00:23:31,830
You even did that thing where you touch
index fingers with your thumb,
522
00:23:31,830 --> 00:23:33,540
so you can make a heart.
523
00:23:34,124 --> 00:23:37,419
That's hard to do.
My god, do I have early-onset arthritis?
524
00:23:39,629 --> 00:23:41,131
- Can I show you something?
525
00:23:45,844 --> 00:23:47,637
Zoom in on her sunglasses.
526
00:23:55,687 --> 00:23:58,523
Yeah, we got into a huge fight at dinner
527
00:23:58,523 --> 00:24:00,483
about how 90% of our relationship
528
00:24:00,483 --> 00:24:02,527
was spent posing for photos.
529
00:24:03,028 --> 00:24:04,571
It was the worst trip ever,
530
00:24:04,571 --> 00:24:06,907
and I went to Fyre Festival.
531
00:24:06,907 --> 00:24:08,325
Stupid Ja Rule.
532
00:24:13,163 --> 00:24:15,957
- Well, I know how we can turn this place
533
00:24:15,957 --> 00:24:18,376
from a bad memory into a good one.
534
00:24:18,376 --> 00:24:21,838
♪ I never felt this way ♪
535
00:24:22,464 --> 00:24:25,467
♪ So in love, whoa... ♪
536
00:24:25,926 --> 00:24:28,511
FUTURE SOPHIE:
And right there, in that hotel room, he--
537
00:24:28,511 --> 00:24:29,888
SOPHIE'S SON [on video]: Mom!
- What?
538
00:24:29,888 --> 00:24:33,308
SOPHIE'S SON: Can you please not
graphically describe your sex life to me?
539
00:24:33,308 --> 00:24:34,517
- Prude!
540
00:24:34,517 --> 00:24:36,394
♪ So in love ♪
541
00:24:36,394 --> 00:24:38,939
♪ Whoa ♪
542
00:24:38,939 --> 00:24:40,982
♪ So in love ♪
543
00:24:40,982 --> 00:24:44,527
♪ Whoa ♪
544
00:24:44,527 --> 00:24:47,781
♪ One heart, let it beat ♪
545
00:24:48,907 --> 00:24:50,992
♪ One voice ♪
546
00:24:50,992 --> 00:24:53,453
♪ Mm, let it sing ♪
547
00:24:53,453 --> 00:24:54,704
♪ Whoa ♪
548
00:24:55,580 --> 00:24:57,582
♪ Whoa ♪
549
00:24:57,999 --> 00:24:59,084
♪ Whoa ♪
550
00:24:59,876 --> 00:25:01,670
♪ Whoa ♪
551
00:25:02,295 --> 00:25:05,549
♪ Do it for one... ♪
40485
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