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1
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,128
Hey, guys.
2
00:00:10,234 --> 00:00:12,429
Hey, Hank.
3
00:00:17,467 --> 00:00:19,529
Okay, ya dragged it outta me.
4
00:00:19,634 --> 00:00:21,662
I'm a little bummed out.
5
00:00:21,734 --> 00:00:22,863
I was dragging?
6
00:00:22,968 --> 00:00:25,596
I lost my part-time job
delivering papers.
7
00:00:25,701 --> 00:00:27,696
Oh? Why'd they give ya
the boot?
8
00:00:27,834 --> 00:00:30,095
Ah, somethin' about ck
of focus, reliability.
9
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,529
It's kinda fuzzy.
10
00:00:31,601 --> 00:00:33,529
I didn't know they
delivered ThHowler.
11
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,929
No, it was one of
those big city ones,
12
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,696
The Globe and Post
orThe Post and Beam,
13
00:00:39,801 --> 00:00:41,696
National Stick.
14
00:00:41,801 --> 00:00:43,395
I can't remember.
15
00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:46,128
I want you to know,
if you're short on cash,
16
00:00:46,234 --> 00:00:47,863
Lacey's here for ya.
17
00:00:47,968 --> 00:00:49,262
I'm glad to help.
18
00:00:49,367 --> 00:00:51,195
Hank, coffee's on Brent.
19
00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:53,496
Thanks, guys. But it's
not about the money.
20
00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:57,028
It's that they tossed me over
for some eager 12 year old.
21
00:00:57,033 --> 00:00:59,362
Hank's short on cash and
the paperboy industry
22
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,662
is being taken over
by 12 year olds.
23
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:04,796
What's next, dogs chasing cats,
ham on rye?
24
00:01:04,868 --> 00:01:06,629
I wonder who they got.
25
00:01:06,701 --> 00:01:09,329
That paper route's
gonna fall apart.
26
00:01:11,801 --> 00:01:14,295
Uh, hey, uh, I-I don't
get the paper.
27
00:01:14,367 --> 00:01:17,329
Well, ya got one now,
jackass.
28
00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:22,462
You can tell me that
your dog ran away
29
00:01:22,534 --> 00:01:26,062
Then tell me that it
took three days
30
00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:31,696
I've heard every joke,
I've heard every one you say
31
00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:36,062
You think there's
not a lot goin' on
32
00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:39,362
Look closer, Baby,
you're so wrong
33
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:43,329
And that's why you can
stay so long
34
00:01:43,434 --> 00:01:48,562
Where there's not a lot
goin' on
35
00:01:50,267 --> 00:01:52,596
You're delivering papers?
36
00:01:52,701 --> 00:01:54,863
Wow, Oscar, I'm feeling
something for you
37
00:01:54,868 --> 00:01:56,629
I've never felt before.
38
00:01:56,701 --> 00:01:57,963
Pride?
39
00:01:58,033 --> 00:01:59,362
Pity.
40
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:02,429
All my life I've wanted
to be a paperboy.
41
00:02:02,567 --> 00:02:04,863
But my parents
discouraged me.
42
00:02:04,968 --> 00:02:06,863
Can I be a paperboy?
43
00:02:06,934 --> 00:02:08,863
Anything's possible.
44
00:02:08,968 --> 00:02:10,729
They were hard as hell.
45
00:02:10,734 --> 00:02:20,095
Since when have you
wanted to be a paperboy?
46
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,162
morning, every morning?
47
00:02:23,267 --> 00:02:25,662
Damn straight.
48
00:02:25,801 --> 00:02:28,095
Chase your dreams, Oscar.
49
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,562
Hank was right. My paper
was late this morning.
50
00:02:33,567 --> 00:02:37,095
Well, you can thank my dadad.
He's your eager 12 year old.
51
00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:38,896
Really? Hah!
52
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,596
That is so sweet.
53
00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:44,496
Sweet and a little bit sad,
mostly sad.
54
00:02:44,601 --> 00:02:46,596
Yeah. We're all very proud.
55
00:02:46,701 --> 00:02:48,529
I've always wanted
to start a paper,
56
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:50,229
one of those
coffee papers,
57
00:02:50,334 --> 00:02:52,496
you know, the little
two-sided doohickeys
58
00:02:52,601 --> 00:02:54,696
with the tidbits and trivia.
59
00:02:54,701 --> 00:02:57,195
Well, you should do it,
become a doohickey mogul.
60
00:02:57,267 --> 00:02:59,395
Hey, would you do
one of your cartoons,
61
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,095
one of your little doodles?
62
00:03:01,167 --> 00:03:02,496
Doodle for a doohickey.
63
00:03:02,601 --> 00:03:04,896
Maybe you'd become
a famous cartoonist.
64
00:03:04,968 --> 00:03:06,329
Famous?
65
00:03:08,033 --> 00:03:13,095
Well, I'm with the world famous
cartoonist, Brent Leroy.
66
00:03:13,167 --> 00:03:15,995
Tell me, Brent, is this
the best your imagination
67
00:03:16,067 --> 00:03:19,028
can come up with, being on
the Vicki Gabereaushow?
68
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:22,462
What? I love your show.
But this isn't even my set.
69
00:03:22,534 --> 00:03:24,929
Oh, well, this is
just all in my head.
70
00:03:25,067 --> 00:03:27,162
Uh-huh.
Well, your imagination sucks.
71
00:03:27,234 --> 00:03:29,429
I'm gettin' a coffee.
72
00:03:31,868 --> 00:03:33,863
Fine, I'm in.
But no media appearances.
73
00:03:33,934 --> 00:03:36,696
Now I have to come up
with a catchy name.
74
00:03:36,767 --> 00:03:38,929
Oh, I'm good at this.
Let me think.
75
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,829
Um, it's news, we're in
The Ruby. Ruby Newsday.
76
00:03:41,934 --> 00:03:43,596
Geez, I am good at this.
77
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,362
Oh, I'm not sure.
78
00:03:45,467 --> 00:03:48,162
No, you don't get it.
Ruby Newsday, like the song.
79
00:03:48,167 --> 00:03:49,529
I get it.
80
00:03:49,634 --> 00:03:51,562
Oh, don't think
I don't get it.
81
00:03:51,634 --> 00:03:55,362
Who is more in touch with
the citizens of Dog River?
82
00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:58,796
Me, the lifelong resident,
or you, the interloper.
83
00:03:58,868 --> 00:04:00,529
Interloper?
84
00:04:00,601 --> 00:04:03,095
Trust me, Ruby Newsday
is your winner.
85
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,162
Ruby Newsday?
86
00:04:05,267 --> 00:04:07,496
What kinda lame
pun is that?
87
00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:09,496
Ah, well, you know Lacey.
88
00:04:09,567 --> 00:04:12,963
Anyway, what do ya think
of my first cartoon?
89
00:04:13,067 --> 00:04:15,496
That's pretty funny.
90
00:04:15,601 --> 00:04:17,496
It's not too toothless?
91
00:04:17,601 --> 00:04:19,929
It's not without its tooth,
toothful even.
92
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,863
Are you gonna show it to
Karen and Davis first?
93
00:04:22,934 --> 00:04:24,329
Why would I show them first?
94
00:04:24,434 --> 00:04:27,028
Doesn't have anything
to do with them.
95
00:04:29,434 --> 00:04:31,262
Ah, it's good, huh?
96
00:04:31,267 --> 00:04:32,963
Oh, it's great.
97
00:04:33,067 --> 00:04:35,829
Brent's cartoon is hilarious.
98
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:38,362
Yeah, I hope Karen and Davis
can take it.
99
00:04:38,467 --> 00:04:41,262
Oh, no. I meant
the trivia section.
100
00:04:41,334 --> 00:04:43,863
I did the trivia
section. Oh.
101
00:04:43,934 --> 00:04:46,462
What do ya think of
the trivia section?
102
00:04:46,534 --> 00:04:50,162
There's a... air of
triviality to it.
103
00:04:50,234 --> 00:04:51,896
Makes ya think, though.
104
00:04:51,901 --> 00:04:54,262
I mean-I mean Brent's
cartoon is funny,
105
00:04:54,367 --> 00:04:56,562
but who knew that
Saskatchewan was bigger
106
00:04:56,667 --> 00:04:59,395
than the entire country
of Sweden?
107
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,896
So what do you think
of that, Sweden?
108
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,062
Sure, yeah.
109
00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:09,562
I mean, whoa-ooh-ho, yeah.
110
00:05:09,667 --> 00:05:10,796
Fine.
111
00:05:10,901 --> 00:05:13,562
You don't like the trivia,
other people do.
112
00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:16,829
Some people like the trivia
betterhan the cartoon.
113
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,729
You wanna put it to the test?
114
00:05:18,734 --> 00:05:21,863
Two tip jars, Brent's cartoon,
Lacey's trivia,
115
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,696
vote with a coin.
116
00:05:23,767 --> 00:05:25,562
And you think
this will work?
117
00:05:25,567 --> 00:05:27,896
How do you think
we elect the mayor?
118
00:05:27,968 --> 00:05:30,028
Lend me a quarter.
119
00:05:37,734 --> 00:05:40,496
Isn't that somethin'.
120
00:05:40,501 --> 00:05:42,028
Not really.
121
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:45,295
It's pretty obvious that
Saskatchewan is bigger
than Sweden.
122
00:05:45,434 --> 00:05:49,662
And we're a rectangle,
nature's most perfect shape.
123
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:53,462
Not the trivia.
Look at the cartoon.
124
00:05:53,534 --> 00:05:57,128
"Let's skip these.
They're the day olds. "
125
00:05:57,234 --> 00:06:00,128
Oh, he got you good.
126
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,696
Got me?
127
00:06:01,767 --> 00:06:03,362
The day olds?
128
00:06:03,467 --> 00:06:06,696
I think he's referring to your
inexperience on the force.
129
00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:09,629
You're a day old.
130
00:06:09,701 --> 00:06:12,395
Interesting.
131
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,696
I thought day old was in
reference to you getting old
132
00:06:15,801 --> 00:06:19,562
and maybe we should skip you
for someone younger.
133
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:23,028
He also drew funny
cartoon legs on you.
134
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,729
I don't have funny legs.
135
00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:28,195
It's right there,
in black and pink.
136
00:06:37,534 --> 00:06:40,462
I guess they really
like Brent's cartoon.
137
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:43,963
Ah, there's 50 cents
in the trivia jar.
138
00:06:44,033 --> 00:06:48,329
Yeah. I put that in there
to get people started.
139
00:06:50,334 --> 00:06:52,462
Maybe if you made
the trivia more humorous
140
00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:54,662
and drew a picture
to go with it.
141
00:06:54,767 --> 00:06:57,696
There must be like
15, $20 in there.
142
00:06:57,701 --> 00:07:01,028
And remove the trivia and
just had the humorous picture,
143
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:02,863
they'd probably
like it then.
144
00:07:02,934 --> 00:07:06,162
So all I have to do is ask
people their opinion
145
00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:08,162
and they'll tip a lot.
146
00:07:08,167 --> 00:07:11,262
Oh, and maybe have Brent draw
the humorous trivia picture,
147
00:07:11,367 --> 00:07:13,462
without the trivia.
148
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,162
Huh?
149
00:07:16,367 --> 00:07:18,262
You done already?
150
00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:23,963
Can't stand still in
the newspaper business.
151
00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:25,995
WhatThey sent me too many.
152
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:28,229
Waste of the environment.
153
00:07:32,767 --> 00:07:34,229
Hello?
154
00:07:34,334 --> 00:07:36,429
Oh, hi, Ruth.
155
00:07:36,534 --> 00:07:39,062
You didn't get your paper
this morning?
156
00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:41,329
What a mystery.
157
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,496
I work in the service industry.
158
00:07:49,501 --> 00:07:54,095
I work at a service station,
a station ofservice.
159
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,028
But you don't serve food.
160
00:07:56,133 --> 00:07:57,762
I serve food.
161
00:07:57,834 --> 00:08:02,195
Two Whippy-Sticks,
a box of Dingle Pies,
162
00:08:02,267 --> 00:08:05,062
a roll of Gummy Floss.
163
00:08:05,167 --> 00:08:07,262
You're saying Gummy Floss
isn't food?
164
00:08:07,367 --> 00:08:09,262
I mean food that's cooked.
165
00:08:09,334 --> 00:08:12,062
So I'm discriminated
against based on heat.
166
00:08:12,167 --> 00:08:14,462
If you want titips,
a good first step
167
00:08:14,567 --> 00:08:17,262
might be to spend
working hours at work.
168
00:08:17,367 --> 00:08:20,796
Ah, it's a detail.
I'm a big picture person.
169
00:08:23,467 --> 00:08:25,863
You didn't get the
paper either, huh?
170
00:08:25,934 --> 00:08:28,496
All right, I'll tell him.
171
00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:36,362
What?!
172
00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:41,529
And here's your change.
173
00:08:41,634 --> 00:08:44,796
Oops. Your money
almost fell in a jar.
174
00:08:44,901 --> 00:08:46,863
Have a super day.
175
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,128
Hi. Okay.
176
00:08:49,234 --> 00:08:50,629
Whoops.
177
00:08:50,701 --> 00:08:52,395
Did you find everything
you needed?
178
00:08:52,534 --> 00:08:54,195
Yeah. Oh, good.
179
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:58,128
Do you have any questions, uh,
about our, uh, fine products?
180
00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,796
No, I'm good.
181
00:08:59,868 --> 00:09:01,395
Super. Great.
182
00:09:01,501 --> 00:09:04,095
Have a super day.
183
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,362
Boo.
184
00:09:12,467 --> 00:09:14,128
Can I help you
find anything?
185
00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:16,829
Just browsing. I'm fine.
186
00:09:16,901 --> 00:09:19,729
And were you happy with
the service here today?
187
00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:21,863
Sure, whatever.
188
00:09:21,934 --> 00:09:23,696
Good, super.
189
00:09:25,334 --> 00:09:28,395
Have a super day.
190
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,195
Oh, let me help you
with the door.
191
00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:36,195
Hey, I was watchin' that.
192
00:09:36,267 --> 00:09:37,863
The phone's been ringing
off the hook
193
00:09:37,968 --> 00:09:40,062
from people who didn't
get their papers.
194
00:09:40,133 --> 00:09:42,295
I don't know how
they got our number.
195
00:09:42,367 --> 00:09:44,128
You have to make this right.
196
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,262
Mrs. Garvey found
her paper in a tree.
197
00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:49,329
It's her fault for puttin'
a tree in the yard.
198
00:09:49,334 --> 00:09:52,162
A newspaper trap.
The town's full of them.
199
00:09:57,801 --> 00:09:59,963
Who threw that?!
200
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,729
Go finish the job.
201
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,195
But I wanna watch TV.
202
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:06,829
No more TV until you
finish your paper route.
203
00:10:06,934 --> 00:10:09,128
No fair.
204
00:10:10,434 --> 00:10:13,863
Okay, this is skin
off my nose now.
205
00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:20,229
Voila!
206
00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:24,395
Served to you via the service
of a service professional.
207
00:10:24,467 --> 00:10:25,395
Thanks.
208
00:10:25,534 --> 00:10:26,762
Super!
209
00:10:26,868 --> 00:10:29,963
And if you enjoyed your
Corner Gas experience,
210
00:10:30,033 --> 00:10:32,395
please feel free to...
211
00:10:35,734 --> 00:10:39,062
If you wanna get tips,
try bein' less spooky.
212
00:10:39,167 --> 00:10:42,095
Maybe I'll try
being less worky.
213
00:10:43,701 --> 00:10:45,929
Explain this.
214
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,295
It's a coffee shop newspaper.
215
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:52,929
Officer, uh, you-you read it
as you would a newspaper
216
00:10:53,067 --> 00:10:55,429
while you're having coffee...
217
00:10:56,601 --> 00:10:58,229
in a shop.
218
00:10:58,234 --> 00:11:01,229
And do you find this funny?
I'm not old.
219
00:11:01,334 --> 00:11:03,429
And I'll tell you
what's not funny.
220
00:11:03,501 --> 00:11:05,128
My legs.
221
00:11:05,234 --> 00:11:06,729
Let's go.
222
00:11:06,801 --> 00:11:10,662
My legs aren't funny and
you're not funny either!
223
00:11:12,801 --> 00:11:15,562
"Why would I
show them first?"
224
00:11:18,367 --> 00:11:20,529
Thanks. And we have
a new survey today.
225
00:11:20,601 --> 00:11:24,195
A mighty oak or a
gracefully willow?
226
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:25,863
Oh, come on.
227
00:11:25,934 --> 00:11:28,395
It's worth a quarter
to find out, isn't it?
228
00:11:28,467 --> 00:11:31,662
I know it looks easy to write
these tipping jar things,
229
00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:33,796
but a lot of thought
goes into it.
230
00:11:33,868 --> 00:11:36,529
Now, I could help ya out
if you want.
231
00:11:36,601 --> 00:11:39,062
Maybe everyone's into maple.
232
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,729
Oh, hey, Oscar, I didn't get
my newspaper this morning.
233
00:11:43,868 --> 00:11:45,796
What the hell is this?
234
00:11:45,901 --> 00:11:48,662
Okay, look, Ruby Newsday.
It's a simple pun.
235
00:11:48,734 --> 00:11:51,095
I'm sorry if people don't...
It's not that.
236
00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:52,896
This cartoon.
I'm a paperboy now.
237
00:11:52,968 --> 00:11:56,062
Wait till my employer
finds out that my own son
238
00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:57,896
is workin' for
a rival paper.
239
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,762
I wouldn't call it a paper.
It's barely a doohickey.
240
00:12:00,767 --> 00:12:04,229
You're takin' food outta my
mouth. I need to feed my family.
241
00:12:04,234 --> 00:12:05,796
He is your family.
242
00:12:05,868 --> 00:12:08,095
You're takin' the food
outta your own mouth.
243
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,529
It's a free newsletter.
244
00:12:09,634 --> 00:12:11,762
People are gonna stop
readin' my newspaper
245
00:12:11,834 --> 00:12:13,295
because this one's free.
246
00:12:13,367 --> 00:12:15,262
It's also not stuck
in the eavestrough.
247
00:12:15,334 --> 00:12:16,829
This is war.
248
00:12:16,934 --> 00:12:21,062
I'm gonna canvas for new
subscriptions and wipe you out!
249
00:12:21,133 --> 00:12:23,429
Yeah, that's the best plan.
250
00:12:23,501 --> 00:12:25,496
But I already subscribe
to the paper.
251
00:12:25,601 --> 00:12:27,796
Well, except these days
I never get it.
252
00:12:27,801 --> 00:12:30,229
Then sign up again,
double your chances.
253
00:12:32,834 --> 00:12:34,729
What's wrong with trees?
254
00:12:34,801 --> 00:12:37,596
Dogs pee on 'em,
they get sap on your clothes,
255
00:12:37,701 --> 00:12:39,496
you gotta rake up
their leaves,
256
00:12:39,567 --> 00:12:42,229
they don't make any sound
when they fall in the forest.
257
00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:43,796
No one trusts them.
258
00:12:43,868 --> 00:12:46,863
Did you fall out of one,
maybe at an early age?
259
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:49,863
Let's not make this personal.
Trees suck, is all.
260
00:12:49,934 --> 00:12:51,362
You need somethin' simple,
261
00:12:51,434 --> 00:12:53,729
so people won't have
to think too much.
262
00:12:53,868 --> 00:12:55,262
Betty or Veronica?
263
00:12:55,334 --> 00:12:58,629
I can't believe I let
you talk me into this.
264
00:13:02,801 --> 00:13:05,829
What can I say?
I do a good jar.
265
00:13:06,734 --> 00:13:09,128
So you wanna get
the paper or what?
266
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,329
I heard the delivery
was terrible.
267
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:12,796
Oh, that's the old guy.
268
00:13:12,868 --> 00:13:14,929
There was an older guy
delivering the paper?
269
00:13:15,033 --> 00:13:19,696
Fine, but there's a rival paper
in town that wants to crush us.
270
00:13:19,801 --> 00:13:21,229
Lacey's newsletter?
271
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,562
Even Brent's workin' for
them now, my own son.
272
00:13:23,701 --> 00:13:26,662
Do you know how long I've been
workin' for this newspaper?
273
00:13:26,767 --> 00:13:27,995
A week?
274
00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:29,362
Almost.
275
00:13:29,467 --> 00:13:31,729
Then he turns around
and does this.
276
00:13:31,734 --> 00:13:33,863
How ya doin', Legs?
277
00:13:33,968 --> 00:13:36,062
Legs?
278
00:13:38,334 --> 00:13:41,829
Just adding a little something
to augment my tips.
279
00:13:43,701 --> 00:13:45,062
I said tips.
280
00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:46,229
Oh.
281
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:48,062
I mean, yeah, I know.
282
00:13:48,167 --> 00:13:49,762
I'm sure glad I
thought of this.
283
00:13:49,868 --> 00:13:51,995
Yeah, just like
Lacey thought of it.
284
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:55,662
Oh, save your biting wit
for your hurtful cartoons.
285
00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:57,963
I mean the basic concept's
the same,
286
00:13:58,067 --> 00:14:02,696
but her questions are, frankly,
a little pedestrian.
287
00:14:02,834 --> 00:14:04,329
Mine...
288
00:14:04,434 --> 00:14:07,496
are more stimulating.
289
00:14:07,601 --> 00:14:09,429
Free will versus
determinism.
290
00:14:09,567 --> 00:14:12,562
Yeah, that's got party
written all over it.
291
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:16,362
Don't underestimate
people's intelligence.
292
00:14:17,534 --> 00:14:18,995
Free Will.
293
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:20,995
Love that movie.
294
00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:24,128
When the whale got away,
I cried.
295
00:14:25,968 --> 00:14:29,262
Twenty dollars for Betty
and 22.50 for Veronica.
296
00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:30,662
Pretty good, huh?
297
00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:32,896
If you don't mind
pandering to the masses.
298
00:14:32,968 --> 00:14:36,796
Well, it's all in the question,
which when you think about it,
299
00:14:36,801 --> 00:14:39,295
means I really should
get a piece of this.
300
00:14:39,367 --> 00:14:42,395
Why should I pay you?
These tips are for my service.
301
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,395
Can I get a coffee?
In a sec.
302
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,295
Come on, Betty or Veronica?
303
00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:49,863
Anyone can think of that.
304
00:14:49,934 --> 00:14:53,195
This is what I'm saying.
You don't need Hank.
305
00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:55,729
Yeah? Well, I don't need this.
I quit.
306
00:14:55,801 --> 00:14:57,596
You're quitting a job
you never had.
307
00:14:57,701 --> 00:15:01,963
It's finally sinkin' in, isn'tit? No mor
308
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,963
Thank you for
stickin' up for me.
309
00:15:04,067 --> 00:15:06,362
I got your back, Sister.
310
00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:15,496
Hey, uh, you wanna come write
tip jar questions for me?
311
00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:18,128
Maybe.
312
00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:20,195
But I want a fifth
of all profits.
313
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:23,329
I'll do ya one better,
10 percent.
314
00:15:23,434 --> 00:15:25,262
Ten percent.
315
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:27,662
Hey, that's like double
what I asked for.
316
00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:29,496
Thanks, Wanda.
That's really nice.
317
00:15:29,601 --> 00:15:32,496
Yeah, well, I am in
the service industry. Huh?
318
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,162
Hey.
319
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:38,195
I need another cartoon.
320
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,796
I'm gettin' requests
from all over.
321
00:15:39,868 --> 00:15:42,796
I don't think Karen
and Davis liked it too much.
322
00:15:42,934 --> 00:15:45,796
Yeah, well, can ya blame them?
I almost didn't run it.
323
00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:50,496
How is a cartoon about day-old
babies making fun of the police?
324
00:15:51,467 --> 00:15:53,496
What's usually day old?
325
00:15:53,601 --> 00:15:55,128
Babies?
326
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,796
Oh, donuts.
327
00:15:56,901 --> 00:15:59,195
And what do stereotypical
police eat?
328
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:00,863
Donuts. But...
329
00:16:00,968 --> 00:16:04,062
You are so out of touch with
the pulse of the community.
330
00:16:04,133 --> 00:16:06,529
And I, for once,
am in touch with it.
331
00:16:06,534 --> 00:16:09,329
I, the interloper, could
clearly see that that cartoon
332
00:16:09,434 --> 00:16:12,095
was making fun of Karen and
Davis and you couldn't.
333
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,362
Ah-ha!
334
00:16:13,467 --> 00:16:15,162
Oh, this is great.
335
00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:18,095
All hail the interloper. Whoo!
336
00:16:18,167 --> 00:16:19,762
Interloper.
337
00:16:19,834 --> 00:16:21,662
That word is so last week.
338
00:16:21,801 --> 00:16:25,462
If you were really in touch with
the pulse, you'd know that.
339
00:16:27,434 --> 00:16:29,295
A hundred and one.
340
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,028
This says you have a fever.
You're staying put.
341
00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:34,429
But the paper route,
my childhood dream.
342
00:16:34,534 --> 00:16:36,829
Your dream, my nightmare.
343
00:16:36,901 --> 00:16:39,028
I'll deliver the papers.
344
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:40,863
Watch out for trees.
345
00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:42,562
Ah-choo!
346
00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:44,829
You're-you're mad
at this one too?
347
00:16:44,901 --> 00:16:47,229
How is this cartoon
making fun of you?
348
00:16:47,334 --> 00:16:49,496
Two explorers lost at
the South Pole,
349
00:16:49,567 --> 00:16:52,362
"Well, which way did you
think is north?"
350
00:16:52,434 --> 00:16:54,829
Shall I start?Be my guest.
351
00:16:54,901 --> 00:16:56,562
They're both wearing
the same clothing,
352
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,896
deducing that they're
wearing uniforms,
353
00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:00,562
much like we wear every day.
354
00:17:00,567 --> 00:17:02,696
That's not deducing.
That would be implying.
355
00:17:02,801 --> 00:17:04,195
So you admit it?
356
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,462
And I suppose them looking
at a map signifies
357
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:09,829
that you both lack direction and
your careers are headin' south?
358
00:17:09,934 --> 00:17:11,629
I hadn't looked at it that way.
359
00:17:11,701 --> 00:17:14,362
We thought you meant
we were cold people,
360
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,028
but that works too.
361
00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:17,462
We're still mad at this.
362
00:17:17,534 --> 00:17:20,395
And why do you have it in
for Lacey?
363
00:17:20,501 --> 00:17:24,796
If you thought my polls
were a stupid waste of time,
364
00:17:24,801 --> 00:17:26,796
why didn't you say so?
365
00:17:26,868 --> 00:17:27,796
What?
366
00:17:27,901 --> 00:17:30,295
Polls, South Pole?
367
00:17:30,367 --> 00:17:32,362
Roasting me in
my own newsletter.
368
00:17:32,434 --> 00:17:33,929
Brent, real nice.
369
00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:35,929
Well, then, why
did you run it?
370
00:17:36,033 --> 00:17:37,462
Because I didn't get it,
371
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:39,662
until Legs, here,
explained it to me.
372
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,362
Hey.
373
00:17:42,667 --> 00:17:44,295
Good morning.
374
00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:48,295
She's worse than
the old guy.
375
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:52,095
I can't believe
Brent roasted me,
376
00:17:52,167 --> 00:17:54,829
and after I gave him
his big break.
377
00:17:54,901 --> 00:17:56,796
That two-faced weasel.
378
00:17:56,801 --> 00:17:59,796
Hey, Wanda, I got your
new tip jar question.
379
00:17:59,868 --> 00:18:02,128
You stole my question guy?
380
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,896
You two were Splitsville.
381
00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:05,963
Oh.
382
00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:08,863
Look, I'm just using him.
383
00:18:08,934 --> 00:18:11,229
It doesn't mean anything.
384
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,696
This question's gold.
385
00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:14,729
"Who's the better
vampire slayer?" huh,
386
00:18:14,801 --> 00:18:17,662
"TV Buffy or
Movie Buffy?" huh?
387
00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:20,395
First Brent makes fun of me
in my own paper
388
00:18:20,501 --> 00:18:22,195
and then you poach Hank.
389
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,128
You gas station people.
390
00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:27,496
Ah, service station people.
391
00:18:30,467 --> 00:18:32,629
The Paper just called.
392
00:18:32,634 --> 00:18:33,995
You're fired.
393
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:36,496
Good. I never liked that job.
394
00:18:36,567 --> 00:18:39,028
I thought it was
your childhood dream.
395
00:18:39,033 --> 00:18:41,395
That wasn't my childhood dream.
396
00:18:41,501 --> 00:18:43,662
I want a Red Bolt wagon.
397
00:18:43,767 --> 00:18:46,095
Well, you could get a job,
deliver papers.
398
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,929
It's a lot of work.
399
00:18:48,033 --> 00:18:49,629
I don't like work.
400
00:18:49,734 --> 00:18:52,229
Without doing work,
can I be a paperboy?
401
00:18:52,334 --> 00:18:54,028
Anything's possible.
402
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,395
I never wanted to be a paperboy.
I wanted that red wagon.
403
00:18:57,467 --> 00:19:00,529
But now I'm an adult, I
can just go buy the wagon.
404
00:19:00,667 --> 00:19:02,496
I can't believe I made
myself miserable
405
00:19:02,601 --> 00:19:04,295
with this paperboy thing.
406
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:06,028
Oh.
407
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:09,896
I think I caught something while
I was out doing your route.
408
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,262
Well, don't give it to me.
409
00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:23,662
Hey, that's the same
question I gave Wanda.
410
00:19:23,801 --> 00:19:25,429
Hmm.
411
00:19:25,434 --> 00:19:27,762
Actually, her question is, "Who
is the better vampire slayer?"
412
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,095
My question asks, "Who's
better at battling them
413
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,596
before they're slain?"
414
00:19:31,701 --> 00:19:33,562
Ah, much, much
more different.
415
00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:34,963
That's not fair.
416
00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:36,762
She steals you,
417
00:19:36,834 --> 00:19:38,662
I steal questions.
418
00:19:38,767 --> 00:19:41,395
Yeah, but she paid me
for my services.
419
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,128
I'm in the service industry.
420
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:46,762
Oh, hey, guys.
421
00:19:46,834 --> 00:19:48,929
In the interests of
keeping the peace,
422
00:19:48,934 --> 00:19:52,329
I've drawn a new cartoon that I
think will make everybody happy.
423
00:19:52,434 --> 00:19:54,395
"Dog River's finest"?
424
00:19:54,501 --> 00:19:56,729
"Lacey's Food for Thought. "
425
00:19:56,801 --> 00:19:58,262
That's sweet.
426
00:19:58,334 --> 00:20:02,028
It's not really funny,
but it's sweet.
427
00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:03,896
There's no pleasing you people.
428
00:20:03,968 --> 00:20:07,395
Humour isn't about making
people happy, Brent.
429
00:20:07,501 --> 00:20:08,562
Yeah.
430
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:10,362
It's about finding
people's weaknesses
431
00:20:10,467 --> 00:20:12,696
and attacking them, rubbing
salt into an open wound,
432
00:20:12,834 --> 00:20:14,896
relentlessly crushing
their self worth
433
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,195
until there's nothing left.
434
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,329
Anyhoo, no more cartoons for me.
435
00:20:23,534 --> 00:20:26,562
Hey, do you need someone
to deliver these?
436
00:20:30,501 --> 00:20:31,963
Hey, Dad,
437
00:20:32,067 --> 00:20:33,362
good news.
438
00:20:33,501 --> 00:20:35,162
I'm out of the
newspaper business.
439
00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:37,496
How does that get me
a red wagon?
440
00:20:37,601 --> 00:20:40,529
One sentence into the
conversation ya lost me.
441
00:20:40,601 --> 00:20:43,262
When I was a kid it
was worth 12 bucks.
442
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:44,829
Now it's a collector's item.
443
00:20:44,901 --> 00:20:48,696
It's worth 6,000 bucks.
I still can't afford it.
444
00:20:48,834 --> 00:20:51,462
Again, nothing.
445
00:20:51,567 --> 00:20:54,963
See, the people of Dog River
have spoken.
446
00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,995
I am neither mean
447
00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:59,128
nor shameful.
448
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:10,929
A lotta tips there.
449
00:21:11,033 --> 00:21:12,829
The people have spoken.
450
00:21:12,968 --> 00:21:15,496
But don't feel too bad.
451
00:21:17,133 --> 00:21:18,762
Gummy Floss?
452
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:22,896
Closed Captioning by
453
00:21:22,968 --> 00:21:25,162
Vertical Sync
Closed Captioning Services Inc.
454
00:21:25,167 --> 00:21:27,562
www. verticalsync. com
455
00:21:27,634 --> 00:21:32,496
I don't know the same things
you don't know
456
00:21:34,734 --> 00:21:40,529
I don't know
I just don't know
457
00:21:44,067 --> 00:21:47,496
It's a great big place
458
00:21:47,601 --> 00:21:51,696
full of nothin' but space
459
00:21:51,834 --> 00:21:53,529
and it's my happy place
460
00:21:53,634 --> 00:21:57,262
I don't know
Yes you do
461
00:21:57,367 --> 00:22:01,095
You just won't admit it
462
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:05,162
Want to have a gas online?
Visit us at cornergas. com
463
00:22:07,801 --> 00:22:10,629
I don't know
464
00:22:10,734 --> 00:22:13,596
I just don't know
33234
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