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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,401 --> 00:00:01,301 me playing ) 2 00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:02,942 HANNAH: Bambi, Stephanie. 3 00:00:02,937 --> 00:00:04,337 Stephanie, Bambi. 4 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,568 [imitates gunfire] 5 00:00:05,573 --> 00:00:07,643 Vanessa is entitled to be pissed off at me. 6 00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:08,911 And to insist you move out of London. 7 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:10,709 How's, uh, prostitution? 8 00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:12,311 The last time I rang you to make an appointment, 9 00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:13,953 I got another girl. 10 00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:15,548 It's just I'd rather see you than your replacement. 11 00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:16,679 What girl? 12 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:17,794 What do you do? 13 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:20,715 I'm a nighttime legal secretary. 14 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:23,891 I'm with this guy, and he's gone really weird. 15 00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:25,261 Are you all right? I'm sorry. 16 00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:27,159 I'm sorry about everything. 17 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,161 It's okay. 18 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,162 It's okay, come here. 19 00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:30,263 It's all right. 20 00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:39,842 Saturday afternoon at the movies. 21 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:43,680 A real girlfriend going on a real date. 22 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:47,846 I'm just not sure if that's me. 23 00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:50,318 ( upbeat horn theme playing ) 24 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:28,018 You see, this is why I don't do relationships. 25 00:01:28,022 --> 00:01:30,192 "Dates." I don't understand the rules. 26 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:31,631 Who's in charge? 27 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:32,785 Who pays? 28 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:35,133 Lucky. Last two tickets. 29 00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:36,759 So, uh, what are we gonna see again? 30 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:39,704 It's a French-Canadian documentary about Alzheimer's. 31 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:42,170 It's hilarious. 32 00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:44,869 Really? No, no, it's a comedy. 33 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,172 Time Out calls it the perfect date movie, 34 00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:47,943 so no pressure. Whoa. 35 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,182 ( chuckles ) 36 00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:50,606 I've never seen a movie without Will Ferrell 37 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,011 or a talking dog before. 38 00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:53,652 Oh, I'm touched. You should be. 39 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,417 Can I, uh, pay you for the tickets? 40 00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,076 No, no, no, of course not. Well, can I go halves? 41 00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:58,194 No, no, put it away. No, please. 42 00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,215 Oops. ( coins clink ) 43 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,520 Hannah. Oh, shit. 44 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,792 ( intercom buzzes ) 45 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:05,660 My 12:30, Tony. 46 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,499 He also wants a girlfriend. 47 00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:09,595 The GFE. 48 00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:12,197 The girlfriend experience: 90 minutes, 49 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:16,269 400 pounds worth of chat, and cuddles. 50 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,640 I know it doesn't make sense, 51 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,708 but somehow this is easier. 52 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:23,208 This is the kind of girlfriend I can be. 53 00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,880 ( jazzy theme playing ) 54 00:02:24,879 --> 00:02:26,749 Christ, sorry I'm late. 55 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,347 Total 'mare at the office. 56 00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:29,449 I know. 57 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:32,190 You should have seen the FTSE 100 this morning. 58 00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,216 Up, down, buy... 59 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:34,220 ( device beeps ) ...sell. 60 00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:36,861 Take the piss all you want. 61 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:38,387 You know you still love us City boys. 62 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,562 Yeah, it's strange, isn't it? 63 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,400 It must be that sense of self-importance. 64 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:42,695 ( chuckles ) 65 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,866 Cheeky bint. 66 00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,195 Mm. 67 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,270 You didn't tell me you got a pay rise. 68 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:50,399 Yeah, a guy in mergers put me onto his tailor. 69 00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:51,414 No, it's lovely. 70 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,405 Thank you. 71 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,166 Yeah, he's a brilliant bloke. 72 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,414 Trained Savile Row, works out of Camden. 73 00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,380 TONY: Not cheap though. 74 00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:00,449 Well, the best things never are. 75 00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:01,447 ( chuckles ) 76 00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,991 HANNAH: Men like Tony, 77 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:12,660 they don't have time for a real relationship, 78 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:16,400 with their six-figure salaries and their 70-hour working weeks. 79 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:19,097 They don't want to come home to PMT in a dressing gown 80 00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:21,669 and a gluten intolerance. 81 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,199 Me, 82 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,373 I'll eat anything. 83 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,543 ( breathing heavily ) 84 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:28,811 Oh. 85 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,809 ( jazzy theme playing ) 86 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,432 Okay. Okay, go. 87 00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:48,203 ( breathing heavily ) 88 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,632 ( moaning ) 89 00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,404 Ah. 90 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,172 No. 91 00:03:57,171 --> 00:03:58,671 Oh. 92 00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:01,812 ( panting ) 93 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:02,909 Oh. 94 00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:09,281 ( intercom buzzes ) 95 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,324 Hello? 96 00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,622 I want to talk to you. 97 00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,534 I'm--I'm sorry, but who is this? 98 00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:19,925 Let me in or I will scream, 99 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:22,657 and I will tell every single person in this building 100 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:25,803 that you're fucking my husband. 101 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,269 I'm sorry. I have no idea who you are. 102 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,898 I'm his wife. 103 00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,243 I'm Matt's wife. 104 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:32,508 Matt? 105 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,906 My husband. 106 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,307 The man you're sleeping with? 107 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,339 I'm really sorry, but-- I followed him. 108 00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,914 I saw him press your number. He was here. 109 00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,123 I don't know who you mean. He just left five minutes ago. 110 00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:46,516 Don't-- Don't lie to me. 111 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,520 Tony? 112 00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:49,391 Tony? 113 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:52,130 Is that what he calls himself? 114 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,400 He's Matt, Matt Hexton, 115 00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:56,526 and he's married. 116 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:57,930 Did he tell you that? 117 00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,701 No. No, I don't suppose he told you much. 118 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:03,141 Too busy shagging! Shh, please. 119 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,737 What? They know what you do, don't they? 120 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,068 Your neighbors? They know you wreck marriages. 121 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,344 Right, just go. Oh, no, I'm not going anywhere. 122 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:11,783 Tell me, how long have you been having an affair? 123 00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,409 We're not having an affair. 124 00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:14,854 He was here for over an hour. I was outside. 125 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,778 You have to go. I can't help you. 126 00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:18,754 I was timing you! 127 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:21,892 What were you doing if you weren't having sex? 128 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:25,089 Any problem you have with your husband-- 129 00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,462 Yes, you said it. He's my husband. 130 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,490 Yes, I know. 131 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,604 Then what are you doing with him? 132 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,144 We have an arrangement. 133 00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,666 What? What are you--? What are you talking about? 134 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,942 I'm not in love with your husband. 135 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:43,181 I have no feelings for him whatsoever. 136 00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,777 He-- 137 00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:48,118 He pays me. 138 00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:49,945 For my services. 139 00:05:54,288 --> 00:05:56,158 Oh, God. Oh, no. Come through here. 140 00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,726 ( gagging ) 141 00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,255 ( coughing ) Come on. 142 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,828 ( retching ) 143 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,770 It's nice to know I have this effect on people. 144 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:12,170 ( retching continues ) ( sighs ) 145 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:14,412 ( mellow theme playing ) 146 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,408 ( siren wails in distance ) 147 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,552 ( glass clatters, shatters ) 148 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,524 Hello? 149 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:32,133 Excuse me? Is everything all right in there? 150 00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:34,496 ( phone ringing ) 151 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:38,797 HANNAH ( on phone ): Hello. 152 00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,399 Hey. Hey, it's Alex. 153 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,040 Uh, I've got a quick question for you. 154 00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,236 When I'm old and prolapsed, 155 00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:45,808 and I can't get to the pub without help, 156 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,106 will you kill me? 157 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,607 I don't know. 158 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,439 Come on, I need to know you'd do it. 159 00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:52,914 Bag over the head, pills in the Ovaltine? 160 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,953 If there's to be any future for us... 161 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,518 Well, we'll just-- 162 00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:57,617 ( door opens ) 163 00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,588 Uh, I hurt my hand. 164 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,046 Uh, thanks for calling. 165 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:03,494 ( line hangs up ) H-Hello? 166 00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,060 ( scoffs ) 167 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,158 ( phone beeps ) ( chuckles ) 168 00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:10,929 HANNAH: I'm sure there's some up here. 169 00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:17,335 Oh, um, 170 00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:20,067 do you want a cup of tea or a biscuit? 171 00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,183 You might need something sweet. You know, blood sugar-- 172 00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:23,806 Why would he pay for it? 173 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,506 Is it something weird? 174 00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,084 Sorry? 175 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:33,222 Why he comes to you. Is it something...kinky? 176 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:36,420 Does he like to dress up, is that it? 177 00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:37,723 Is he a transvestite? 178 00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,134 Why would you think that? 179 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,426 His dad's a vicar. 180 00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:46,698 Yeah, something like that. 181 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,240 Why couldn't he just get a girlfriend, 182 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:51,905 or shag his secretary? 183 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,135 Couldn't even manage that. 184 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,240 Easier for him 185 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,181 just to pull out his credit card. 186 00:07:57,411 --> 00:08:00,881 What happens here is-- It's just sex. 187 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,321 It's nothing. 188 00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:06,687 What you have, a marriage, it's much more. 189 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:09,417 Christ! What the hell would you know? 190 00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,493 Do prostitutes even have relationships? 191 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,931 Do they? Have you--? Have you got a boyfriend? 192 00:08:20,434 --> 00:08:23,944 He always was a selfish bastard. 193 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:27,537 That's why we waited so long before having kids. 194 00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:31,211 He wasn't prepared to give up his bachelor bloody lifestyle. 195 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,381 Have you got children? 196 00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:36,577 Twins. Six months. 197 00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:39,323 Hardly surprising we don't have much sex. 198 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:42,489 He's always working and I'm sat on the sofa, 199 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:45,889 breast-feeding like some old sow. 200 00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,666 I used to have great tits. 201 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:58,067 Sometimes when I'm at home I do those, um, 202 00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,711 survey things where you tick a box 203 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:03,906 to see how strong your relationship is. 204 00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:06,051 I know they're ridiculous. 205 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:09,046 I know they're just some stupid thing in a magazine. 206 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,319 But I always-- 207 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:15,858 Always get a really high score. 208 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,156 We do. I mean-- 209 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,057 You think that sounds pathetic, don't you? 210 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,162 No, I don't. 211 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,704 I do. 212 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,841 I'm going to clean your bathroom. 213 00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:32,266 There's glass. Oh, no, don't worry. 214 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,572 It's fine. No, I want to. 215 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,413 No, no, no, really, it's not necessary. 216 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:38,649 No, please, it was-- I made the mess. 217 00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:41,775 ( sighs ) 218 00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:43,452 You must see everything here. 219 00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:47,621 Men, what they really want. 220 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,189 ( glass clinking ) 221 00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:54,391 What-- What do they want? 222 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:57,304 ( jazzy theme playing ) 223 00:09:57,297 --> 00:10:02,097 Well, one gentleman 224 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:05,042 likes to dress up as a tennis player 225 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:10,178 while I play with his new balls. 226 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,609 ( laughs ) 227 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,284 Men. 228 00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,794 Oh, what's this? 229 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,559 Ah, you don't need to...touch that. 230 00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:26,958 Um, it-- It's a plug. 231 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,200 ( buzzes ) Ooh, it vibrates. 232 00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:30,756 It's a butt plug. 233 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,267 HELEN: Ooh. 234 00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,268 ( gags ) 235 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,469 ( retching ) 236 00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:41,072 ( upbeat theme playing ) 237 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:42,244 ( horn honks ) 238 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:47,646 ( horn honking ) 239 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,977 BAMBI: Is it just me, or some days 240 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:52,422 does it feel like everyone wants you? 241 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,759 ( giggles ) This is for you. 242 00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:58,055 It's Balenciaga, to say thank you. 243 00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,458 What for? 244 00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:00,629 Everything. 245 00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:02,227 Aw. Honestly, 246 00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:04,229 just walking down the street on the way here 247 00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:06,001 I could feel the eyes on me. 248 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,969 I mean, I know I'm hot, but... 249 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:10,698 You're working, aren't you? How did you guess? 250 00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:12,074 It's just what happens. 251 00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:15,882 When you're an escort, men-- Well, some men, 252 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,036 they can just sense it. 253 00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,254 I don't know. It's weird. 254 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:19,945 Well, I'm doing it properly this time. 255 00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:21,676 I've seen Stephanie and she's taken me on. 256 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:22,951 Proper clients, 257 00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:24,149 proper security. ( phone ringing ) 258 00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,651 Oops. Sorry, babes, hang on. 259 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,619 All right, sweetie. 260 00:11:30,624 --> 00:11:31,764 No, no, no, of course not. 261 00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:33,958 I'm just with a friend. 262 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,030 No, not like that. 263 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,959 Ha-ha-ha. Listen, I've got to go, 264 00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,134 so you hold that thought. 265 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,402 Ciao. 266 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,670 ( phone beeps ) Ah, he sounds really sweet. 267 00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:45,569 He's a time-waster and he'll never make a booking. 268 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:46,912 Tell him you're not a chat line. 269 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,277 Never take his calls again. 270 00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:50,705 Seriously? 271 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:54,250 Yeah, just don't get carried away, all right? 272 00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:58,547 The money, the attention-- It's just a job. 273 00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,122 And in the end, people will take 274 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,060 what they can and judge you for it. 275 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:06,055 Just be careful, is what I'm trying to say. 276 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,529 See? 277 00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,257 Where would I be without you? 278 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,374 ( phone beeping ) 279 00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,365 BEN: Shit, Han. 280 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,736 Yeah, shit indeed. 281 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,765 So go on. What did she do then? 282 00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:20,811 Screeching, bit of casual vomiting, 283 00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:23,937 just to show quite how disgusting she found me. 284 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:24,954 You know, I always thought 285 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,275 something like this might happen. 286 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,479 Why? 287 00:12:27,481 --> 00:12:29,321 Well, all these guys have wives, don't they? 288 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,546 Not all of them, no. 289 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:33,220 Most of them. So how did you leave it? 290 00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:35,090 Well, obviously she left. 291 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,518 But you're gonna keep in touch? 292 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,563 Of course. 293 00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,058 We thought we'd make it a regular thing, 294 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,660 seeing as we had so much in common. 295 00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:43,061 ( chuckles ) 296 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,033 Shall we do one? 297 00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,531 ( upbeat theme playing ) 298 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,303 HANNAH: What shall we do now? I don't want to go home. 299 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,741 What, in case wifey's still there, behind the door? 300 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:51,907 Wifey? Ha-ha. Yeah. 301 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,665 So glad you find it amusing. 302 00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:54,773 HANNAH: Come on. 303 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,614 We haven't been out in ages. 304 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,410 BEN: I can't. Not tonight. 305 00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:01,281 We could go to that Thai place with the fat guy. 306 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,081 He sings on Wednesdays. 307 00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,783 I can't. I'm on kitchen duty. 308 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,194 What? 309 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:09,286 We take it in turns cooking for each other, me and Vanessa. 310 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,529 Tofu stroganoff in St Albans? 311 00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:14,455 The excitement must be unbearable. 312 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,831 You'd be surprised. 313 00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:17,829 Yeah, I would. 314 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:19,101 ( sighs ) 315 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:20,629 Come on. 316 00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:22,004 Just a quick one? 317 00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,272 Come on, one drink? 318 00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,910 I can't. She's picking me up from the station. 319 00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:26,605 Yeah. Your loss. 320 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:30,275 ( chuckles ) 321 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,377 All right, I'll do it. 322 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,949 ALEX: Too late. I've changed my mind. 323 00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,917 Euthanasia is very last week. 324 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,316 That's a shame. 325 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,717 Ah, you'll get over it. 326 00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:40,788 I was thinking about cryogenics. 327 00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:42,557 You've got a big freezer. 328 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,033 Bye. 329 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,385 ( line hangs up ) 330 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,203 ( phone beeps ) Nutter. 331 00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:50,902 What have you done? 332 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:56,136 She was here. She saw you come in. 333 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:59,406 I didn't have a choice. 334 00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:00,836 Well, that's it then, isn't it? 335 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,440 That--That's it. It's over. 336 00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:06,853 It's fucking over. Eight years of marriage. 337 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,146 I'm... 338 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,619 I'm really sorry, Tony. 339 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:13,487 It's Matt. My name is Matt. 340 00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:14,986 But it's, um-- 341 00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:17,688 It's really got nothing to do with me. 342 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,331 You need to talk to your wife. 343 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:20,756 Talk to her? 344 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,900 She won't even make eye contact with me. 345 00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:26,167 She won't even let me hold the twins. 346 00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,166 How can I even begin to fix this 347 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,438 if she won't even look at me? 348 00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:30,436 She-- 349 00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,907 ( sighs ) 350 00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:35,036 Hold me. Please. 351 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,580 Matt. 352 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,208 Look, I can't lose you as well. 353 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,754 If--If you wanna be here, then... 354 00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,190 What? 355 00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:47,245 With me, you've... 356 00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:50,222 Oh. 357 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,433 God, yes. Of course. I'm sorry. Sorry. 358 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,155 Um... 359 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,860 Uh, yeah. 360 00:14:56,863 --> 00:15:01,233 The client-escort relationship should have clear boundaries. 361 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:05,074 Anything else just doesn't work. 362 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,111 ( ska theme playing ) 363 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:08,107 Oh, yeah. 364 00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:11,006 Oh, yeah. 365 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,811 Yeah. 366 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:15,482 HELEN: God, doesn't that give you jaw ache? 367 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,153 Cooee. 368 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,386 W-What's going on? Why have you stopped? 369 00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,488 Nothing. Sorry. 370 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,060 ( Matt sighs ) 371 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:27,058 ( breathing heavily ) 372 00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,769 ( gasps ) Oh, so that's what he likes. 373 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,425 What's the matter? 374 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,703 Nothing. 375 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,114 I can't do this with you here. 376 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:41,683 Oh, Christ. 377 00:15:42,876 --> 00:15:44,636 HELEN: Oh, dear. 378 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:48,254 I thought you were supposed to be a professional. 379 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,848 Right. Uh, let's-- 380 00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:52,590 Let's try something else, shall we? 381 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:53,885 ( breathing heavily ) 382 00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,315 Mm. 383 00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:58,364 ( Helen clears throat ) 384 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,760 No, no, no, no, no, no-- No, no, don't stop. 385 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:06,333 Please don't-- Don't stop. 386 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:08,603 ( moans ) 387 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:09,971 ( Matt breathing heavily ) 388 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,405 No, I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. 389 00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,577 ( gasping ) What? 390 00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:17,836 Why, what--? What's happened? 391 00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,914 I'm sorry. I'll refund your money. 392 00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:21,253 ney? What the--? 393 00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:22,377 Bloody money. What's going on? 394 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:23,952 Look, this has got nothing to do with me. 395 00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,290 You need to speak to your wife. 396 00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,345 You can't just pretend this isn't happening! 397 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:28,864 Ah, the tart with the heart. 398 00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,585 Look, talk to your wife. Sort your marriage out. 399 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:31,790 I can't see you anymore. 400 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,561 What? Wait. You're breaking up with me? 401 00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,861 We were never together! 402 00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:41,299 ( soft guitar theme playing ) 403 00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:51,848 HANNAH: Relationships. 404 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,445 ♪ Have you ever ♪ 405 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:54,746 How do people do them? 406 00:16:54,748 --> 00:16:56,278 ♪ Felt the rain? ♪ 407 00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,152 I've no idea. 408 00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:03,291 ♪ Have you ever tried to complain? ♪ 409 00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:06,959 This is why I shouldn't go anywhere near them. 410 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:11,330 ♪ And face the world ♪ 411 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,331 This is why I shouldn't even try. 412 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:17,303 ♪ Bites down in the hole ♪ 413 00:17:17,303 --> 00:17:21,013 ♪ The slow fuse ♪ 414 00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,907 ♪ What's so funny? ♪ 415 00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:29,382 ♪ What's so strange? ♪ 416 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,922 ♪ You don't even Know my name ♪ 417 00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:33,687 Hi, Alex. It's me. 418 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:34,686 Um... 419 00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,157 ♪ Are you happy? ♪ 420 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:39,656 ...can I come over, for an hour? 421 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:40,959 ♪ An empty bottle ♪ 422 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,760 Okay. All right. Bye. 423 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:44,763 ( phone beeps ) 424 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:52,244 ♪ We might be at war ♪ 425 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,638 ( knock on door ) 426 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:54,670 Here you are. 427 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,684 Your time starts 428 00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:00,307 ...now. Coffee? 429 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:07,047 And I'm--I'm just not ready to be a girlfriend-- 430 00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:10,093 Shit, no milk. Sorry. 431 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,829 Anybody's girlfriend. 432 00:18:11,825 --> 00:18:12,855 Or indeed any coffee. 433 00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:13,959 ( jar thunks ) 434 00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:18,872 I'm a mess. 435 00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:21,195 Alex, are you actually listening to anything I'm saying? 436 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,541 Of course. Of course. 437 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,795 You're telling me in an oh-so-delightful way 438 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:25,914 that you want to break up with me. 439 00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:28,635 Thing is, you're not a mess. 440 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:29,781 You're gorgeous. 441 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:30,976 I-I just-- 442 00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:33,608 I just-- I don't think 443 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,353 it's fair on you, to start something and-- 444 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,818 You walk out on me in my hotel room. 445 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,387 You run out on me at dinner. 446 00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:41,245 You constantly hang up on me. 447 00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:42,364 That sounds like a relationship to me. 448 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,015 Let's just stop. Let's just be friends. 449 00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:45,433 No, I don't want to be friends. 450 00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:46,625 ( sighs ) 451 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,086 I want to do things to you 452 00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:50,164 that I don't want to do to my friends. 453 00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:51,733 ( chuckles ) 454 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,903 Alex, I can't go out with you. 455 00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:57,602 Irish coffee? Except without the coffee, 456 00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:59,444 which would technically be whiskey. 457 00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:00,569 I'm not what you want. 458 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,583 You're exactly what I want. I'm not. 459 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:05,135 It's-- It's really complicated. 460 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,754 I love complicated because it's interesting. 461 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,877 It's exciting. it's just that-- 462 00:19:10,884 --> 00:19:14,424 I'm not very good at, um, just opening up or sharing. 463 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:17,760 I'm--I'm-- I'm a very private person. 464 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:18,957 I'm not asking you 465 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:21,428 to tell me things, to divulge your innermost. 466 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,603 I mean, Jesus, 467 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:28,538 who really knows everything about anyone? 468 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,395 Why would you really want to? 469 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:34,871 Do you really believe that? 470 00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,014 I do. 471 00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:43,282 Hannah, we're just starting. 472 00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:47,388 Don't run scared already. 473 00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:07,071 No, don't. Hey. Why? 474 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:09,613 No, because I'm trying to break up with you. 475 00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:11,079 Tough. Tough. 476 00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,646 You can't always get at you want. 477 00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,864 ( tender guitar theme playing ) 478 00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:45,980 Shit, I'm late. 479 00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:47,679 My boss is very punctual. 480 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,150 An overrated quality. 481 00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,378 ( chuckles ) BOTH: Mm. 482 00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:52,323 I've gotta go. Oh. 483 00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,918 ( both chuckle ) 484 00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:57,564 Oh, Hannah? Yeah? 485 00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:59,187 I really enjoyed breaking up with you. 486 00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:00,332 Can we do it again soon, please? 487 00:21:00,326 --> 00:21:02,226 ( chuckles ) 488 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,228 ( upbeat jazzy theme playing ) 489 00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:06,070 ( sighs ) 490 00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:07,125 ( horn honking ) 491 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:11,401 ( siren wailing ) 492 00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,405 My 9:30. 493 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,550 He also wants the girlfriend experience. 494 00:21:19,545 --> 00:21:24,745 He likes to lie in bed, watch movies, and hold my hand. 495 00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:26,091 It's nice. 496 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:31,688 ( phone ringing ) 497 00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:37,396 Hello? 498 00:21:37,397 --> 00:21:38,667 Hey, it's me. 499 00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:41,733 What are you doing? 500 00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:43,574 Oh, nothing much. 501 00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:45,469 Just getting ready for work. 502 00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:47,311 I hope that you're thinking about me. 503 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,636 ( laughs ) 504 00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:53,811 I met someone. What do you mean? 505 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:55,183 Hey. 506 00:21:55,181 --> 00:21:57,421 ALEX: Is he better looking than me? 507 00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:58,847 Is that actually possible? 508 00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:01,351 Come clean to him and I'll come and have lunch with you then. 509 00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:03,064 So, Hannah, are you gonna tell Alex the truth 510 00:22:03,056 --> 00:22:04,056 or shall I? 511 00:22:04,057 --> 00:22:06,027 ( upbeat horn theme playing ) 31998

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