Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:37,181
I first met JT years ago
years ago...
2
00:00:37,215 --> 00:00:38,382
Many years ago.
3
00:00:40,284 --> 00:00:46,624
And a few years later...
4
00:00:46,657 --> 00:00:50,361
you know, Sarah.
5
00:00:50,394 --> 00:00:54,632
And so I'm so excited
to be here tonight,
6
00:00:54,665 --> 00:00:59,470
and I'm so excited all of you
came to celebrate his work,
7
00:00:59,503 --> 00:01:03,541
his words, and his... his, um...
8
00:01:03,574 --> 00:01:09,680
just beautiful, beautiful voice.
9
00:01:09,713 --> 00:01:13,151
So I just thank you
from the bottom of my heart.
10
00:01:13,184 --> 00:01:19,457
And I thank JT from the bottom
of my heart and soul.
11
00:01:21,825 --> 00:01:24,828
I love you, JT.
12
00:01:24,862 --> 00:01:28,299
You are an inspiration.
13
00:01:28,332 --> 00:01:29,467
Thank you.
14
00:01:32,370 --> 00:01:35,606
Thank you, JT!
15
00:01:48,819 --> 00:01:52,656
Gross: My guest, JT LeRoy, is
a 21-year-old writer
16
00:01:52,690 --> 00:01:55,459
with two books of fiction based
on his experiences
17
00:01:55,493 --> 00:01:57,728
as the son
of a truck stop prostitute.
18
00:01:57,761 --> 00:02:01,865
When LeRoy was 15,
his therapist, Dr. Terry Owens,
19
00:02:01,899 --> 00:02:02,866
encouraged him to write.
20
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:05,836
Although LeRoy is forthcoming
about his life,
21
00:02:05,869 --> 00:02:08,472
he doesn't like to show his face
to the press
22
00:02:08,506 --> 00:02:10,608
and does most of his interviews
by phone.
23
00:02:10,641 --> 00:02:12,710
This is Fresh Air.
24
00:02:12,743 --> 00:02:16,414
So, um, so, why do you
still feel it's so important
25
00:02:16,447 --> 00:02:19,550
to keep your identity hidden?
26
00:02:19,583 --> 00:02:24,222
Leroy: You know, I'm writing
about pretty personal stuff,
27
00:02:24,255 --> 00:02:26,757
and, also, the gender issues.
28
00:02:26,790 --> 00:02:29,493
Sometimes I like to go out
as a girl.
29
00:02:29,527 --> 00:02:31,195
Sometimes, I like to go out
as a boy.
30
00:02:31,229 --> 00:02:34,698
So, I really never want someone
to come up to me
31
00:02:34,732 --> 00:02:36,567
and say, "I know
what you really are,"
32
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,636
and be in that position
where they could hurt me.
33
00:02:38,669 --> 00:02:41,205
Although your work is
really catching on,
34
00:02:41,239 --> 00:02:43,541
some people think that
you might not really exist.
35
00:02:43,574 --> 00:02:46,244
In other words, that JT LeRoy
might be a pen name,
36
00:02:46,277 --> 00:02:49,847
or a hoax, or some kind
of extended performance piece.
37
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:51,882
I mean, do you run into this
38
00:02:51,915 --> 00:02:54,885
a lot that people think
that this is just
39
00:02:54,918 --> 00:02:56,754
some kind of hoax?
40
00:04:02,898 --> 00:04:06,068
LeRoy: Hi.
I'm JT...
41
00:04:06,101 --> 00:04:09,839
Jeremiah Terminator LeRoy.
42
00:04:09,872 --> 00:04:13,943
Jeremiah's from the Bible,
43
00:04:13,976 --> 00:04:15,044
but I like it.
44
00:04:15,077 --> 00:04:17,446
It makes me feel protected.
45
00:04:19,314 --> 00:04:22,918
I was born in wild West Virginia
on Halloween.
46
00:04:24,119 --> 00:04:27,089
My mom is Sarah.
47
00:04:27,122 --> 00:04:30,125
She had me when she was 14.
48
00:04:30,159 --> 00:04:32,895
She was doing drugs
and didn't even know
49
00:04:32,928 --> 00:04:34,229
how to change a diaper.
50
00:04:35,530 --> 00:04:37,532
Sarah is a prostitute...
51
00:04:39,034 --> 00:04:41,871
A lot lizard.
52
00:04:41,904 --> 00:04:44,373
We live in cars, motels.
53
00:04:44,406 --> 00:04:46,575
Every new town,
we change our names.
54
00:04:47,609 --> 00:04:51,881
I can be a boy,
or I can be a girl.
55
00:04:51,914 --> 00:04:55,084
But usually, we're sisters
because it's more allowed.
56
00:04:56,285 --> 00:04:58,954
Sarah gets married
lots of times.
57
00:04:58,988 --> 00:05:03,192
Men just love her.
She's beautiful.
58
00:05:03,225 --> 00:05:04,559
I keep thinking...
59
00:05:05,995 --> 00:05:08,497
If I can be as pretty as her,
60
00:05:08,530 --> 00:05:10,532
she would see something in me.
61
00:05:22,945 --> 00:05:26,115
Benderson: I remember
that first call very well.
62
00:05:26,148 --> 00:05:29,151
A very soft female voice said,
63
00:05:29,184 --> 00:05:31,320
"May I speak
to Bruce Benderson?"
64
00:05:31,353 --> 00:05:32,630
Right away,
I was very suspicious
65
00:05:32,654 --> 00:05:34,656
because it sounded like
a young girl
66
00:05:34,689 --> 00:05:37,392
of maybe 13... 12, 13, 14.
67
00:05:37,426 --> 00:05:40,429
She said, "Well, I'm
a great admirer of your work."
68
00:05:52,141 --> 00:05:56,011
So, I said, "Are you a boy?"
69
00:05:56,045 --> 00:06:00,149
And she answered, "Well,
last time I checked, I was."
70
00:06:25,574 --> 00:06:28,077
On the floor, there was
an incredible
71
00:06:28,110 --> 00:06:30,112
curled pile of paper.
72
00:06:30,145 --> 00:06:32,547
And I sighed, and I tore it off.
73
00:06:32,581 --> 00:06:35,317
And I started reading it,
getting ready to throw it away.
74
00:06:35,350 --> 00:06:38,553
LeRoy: "The heroin inside
to tell you God's truth."
75
00:06:38,587 --> 00:06:41,256
And I thought, "My God,
this is unbelievable.
76
00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:43,258
This person is a genius."
77
00:06:43,292 --> 00:06:44,669
He had given me
his telephone number,
78
00:06:44,693 --> 00:06:47,429
and I immediately called
him back.
79
00:06:55,637 --> 00:06:58,207
And then I said,
"This is amazing...
80
00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,608
Amazingly written."
81
00:07:15,724 --> 00:07:19,561
LeRoy: It was something
I always knew.
82
00:07:19,594 --> 00:07:25,234
Heroin coming in balloons was
a special message to me.
83
00:07:28,237 --> 00:07:30,405
Yeah, I'll smoke,
84
00:07:30,439 --> 00:07:33,342
shoot the dark,
tarry clump inside.
85
00:07:37,446 --> 00:07:39,181
But the balloons are
the only thing
86
00:07:39,214 --> 00:07:40,782
that's really gonna save me.
87
00:07:44,786 --> 00:07:48,323
The heroin inside
to tell you God's truth is
88
00:07:48,357 --> 00:07:54,296
just to tide me over
until it is the time.
89
00:07:54,329 --> 00:07:59,601
It will be a clear day...
No clouds, no wind.
90
00:07:59,634 --> 00:08:02,804
Crowds will gather,
smiling and joyous.
91
00:08:02,837 --> 00:08:08,177
People will surround me
and slowly attach my silvers,
92
00:08:08,210 --> 00:08:12,581
my blues, my greens, my yellows.
93
00:08:12,614 --> 00:08:14,749
I feel myself getting lighter
94
00:08:14,783 --> 00:08:18,653
as branches of balloons spring
from every limb.
95
00:08:20,455 --> 00:08:25,827
I am the Lord's outcast coming
for their redemption
96
00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:28,530
whether they like it or not.
97
00:08:41,210 --> 00:08:47,682
Man: Tell me about the first
phone call you made as JT.
98
00:08:51,653 --> 00:08:56,158
I would get to a point where
I would have to make a call,
99
00:08:56,191 --> 00:08:59,128
and I remember calling
from the bathroom.
100
00:09:01,196 --> 00:09:04,199
I was sitting on the floor
by the toilet.
101
00:09:05,434 --> 00:09:07,602
Geoff and I had just moved in
together.
102
00:09:08,938 --> 00:09:11,606
He was in the other room
playing guitar...
103
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:17,079
doing his music,
and I was just making calls...
104
00:09:17,112 --> 00:09:19,214
thinking about dying,
105
00:09:19,248 --> 00:09:21,650
wanting to die.
106
00:09:21,683 --> 00:09:24,086
And I called Child Crisis.
107
00:09:24,119 --> 00:09:26,188
It was a number
that you could call
108
00:09:26,221 --> 00:09:29,424
when you were in pain.
109
00:09:29,458 --> 00:09:33,262
I remember I didn't know
what was gonna come out of me.
110
00:09:33,295 --> 00:09:38,968
I didn't know
who was going to bubble up.
111
00:09:39,001 --> 00:09:41,270
And this man answered.
112
00:09:41,303 --> 00:09:42,604
Hi.
I'm Dr. Terrence Owens.
113
00:09:42,637 --> 00:09:43,638
I'm the clinical director
114
00:09:43,672 --> 00:09:46,408
of the Masonic Center
for Youth and Families.
115
00:10:15,170 --> 00:10:18,173
He asked what my name was.
116
00:10:18,207 --> 00:10:19,741
And it was "Terminator,"
117
00:10:19,774 --> 00:10:23,745
which I never would have chosen
because it was a stupid name.
118
00:10:23,778 --> 00:10:26,548
But that was his name.
119
00:10:26,581 --> 00:10:29,051
He was 13,
120
00:10:29,084 --> 00:10:30,752
turning tricks,
121
00:10:30,785 --> 00:10:32,721
living on the street.
122
00:10:32,754 --> 00:10:36,191
And Dr. Owens, he says,
123
00:10:36,225 --> 00:10:38,160
"Why don't you call back
tomorrow?"
124
00:10:43,598 --> 00:10:46,068
And I didn't know
if Terminator would,
125
00:10:46,101 --> 00:10:49,271
or if he would be there
or if it would work out.
126
00:10:49,304 --> 00:10:54,043
A lot of other boys
who had been through me,
127
00:10:54,076 --> 00:10:56,011
they didn't...
128
00:10:56,045 --> 00:10:59,048
they didn't live.
129
00:10:59,081 --> 00:11:04,019
But he did, and he was there.
130
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:10,425
And slowly, my life began
to revolve around talking
131
00:11:10,459 --> 00:11:12,561
to Dr. Owens that next day.
132
00:11:12,594 --> 00:11:16,198
So it's as if my world was
underwater.
133
00:11:16,231 --> 00:11:20,402
And then, for that half an hour,
Terminator would talk to him,
134
00:11:20,435 --> 00:11:21,736
it was...
135
00:11:23,438 --> 00:11:27,142
a gasp of air,
and then I'd go under.
136
00:11:31,313 --> 00:11:34,683
Okay, today's date is
January 8th,
137
00:11:34,716 --> 00:11:38,753
and I'm Laura.
138
00:11:38,787 --> 00:11:41,590
What happened was
my parents had gotten divorced
139
00:11:41,623 --> 00:11:45,194
when I was in eighth grade,
and it just exploded for me.
140
00:11:48,663 --> 00:11:50,799
I started dropping out
of different schools,
141
00:11:50,832 --> 00:11:53,468
and my mom is going berserk.
142
00:11:54,636 --> 00:11:56,238
We'd had these fights,
143
00:11:56,271 --> 00:11:59,774
and she'd lose control
and throw, like, heavy things.
144
00:12:01,876 --> 00:12:05,314
She was going, like, with
a different guy all the time,
145
00:12:05,347 --> 00:12:07,249
a lot of sleaze bags
that would come on to me
146
00:12:07,282 --> 00:12:08,650
that would, you know,
try shit...
147
00:12:08,683 --> 00:12:10,461
Like, one would call me up
in the middle of the night
148
00:12:10,485 --> 00:12:12,521
and tell me he loved me,
he wanted to be my father,
149
00:12:12,554 --> 00:12:14,123
but he also wanted
to be my lover.
150
00:12:15,724 --> 00:12:17,426
And my mom's seeing
this shit, too.
151
00:12:17,459 --> 00:12:19,594
She's seeing
how fucked up it is, too.
152
00:12:21,763 --> 00:12:23,665
I called up my father.
My father said,
153
00:12:23,698 --> 00:12:24,533
"Well..."
154
00:12:24,566 --> 00:12:27,169
I was like, you know,
"Hey, fuck you."
155
00:12:27,202 --> 00:12:28,537
So, I decided, one day,
156
00:12:28,570 --> 00:12:32,541
"I have to act.
I have to do something."
157
00:12:32,574 --> 00:12:37,212
I pick up the phone.
I dial this hotline.
158
00:12:37,246 --> 00:12:39,548
And it never, ever occurred
159
00:12:39,581 --> 00:12:41,816
to me to call as myself.
160
00:12:41,850 --> 00:12:44,286
What reaction
would there be besides,
161
00:12:44,319 --> 00:12:47,289
"You're fat and ugly
and disgusting and deserve it"?
162
00:12:47,322 --> 00:12:52,361
So, I introduced myself
as a boy.
163
00:12:53,662 --> 00:12:56,898
And I talked
about this situation at home,
164
00:12:56,931 --> 00:12:59,834
that there was
physical abuse going on
165
00:12:59,868 --> 00:13:04,306
and inappropriate
sexual relationships.
166
00:13:04,339 --> 00:13:08,710
And they were
so supportive and caring.
167
00:13:08,743 --> 00:13:12,281
When I hung up the phone,
I felt relief.
168
00:13:16,418 --> 00:13:19,721
I don't understand it.
169
00:13:19,754 --> 00:13:22,491
All I know is it
worked, it was like magic.
170
00:13:22,524 --> 00:13:24,526
It was fucking incredible.
171
00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:26,861
And I was very addicted to that.
172
00:13:31,566 --> 00:13:33,768
Terminator had problems
with continuity,
173
00:13:33,802 --> 00:13:39,708
so Dr. Owen suggested
that Terminator start to write.
174
00:14:01,263 --> 00:14:05,500
What Terminator wrote was
completely different.
175
00:14:05,534 --> 00:14:07,569
It really surprised me.
176
00:14:07,602 --> 00:14:09,904
He wrote this piece called
"Babydoll."
177
00:14:09,938 --> 00:14:13,475
LeRoy: When Jesus died,
angels cried,
178
00:14:13,508 --> 00:14:16,778
and their tears turned
to stones.
179
00:14:16,811 --> 00:14:21,350
My hands tremble
as I pull out my thing,
180
00:14:21,383 --> 00:14:23,952
leading me to hell.
181
00:14:23,985 --> 00:14:27,322
Albert: He sent it to Dr. Owens.
182
00:14:30,992 --> 00:14:33,662
And it was like...
183
00:14:33,695 --> 00:14:36,598
a new world opened.
184
00:14:36,631 --> 00:14:39,234
So, Dr. Owens and I found out
185
00:14:39,268 --> 00:14:42,837
that Terminator's real name was
Jeremy.
186
00:14:42,871 --> 00:14:45,440
And one day,
I had to get Dr. Owens
187
00:14:45,474 --> 00:14:47,709
some of Jeremy's work.
188
00:14:47,742 --> 00:14:50,679
And I rode all the way over
to the hospital.
189
00:14:50,712 --> 00:14:54,449
Terminator is driving.
190
00:14:54,483 --> 00:14:56,818
I'm pedaling, but he's driving.
191
00:14:58,853 --> 00:14:59,721
So I get there.
192
00:14:59,754 --> 00:15:01,823
They page Dr. Owens.
- Dr. Owens.
193
00:15:01,856 --> 00:15:05,527
Albert:
I am so terrified.
194
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,696
I meet Dr. Owens,
195
00:15:07,729 --> 00:15:10,632
and he asked me what my name is.
196
00:15:10,665 --> 00:15:12,401
And I just thought,
"How did I get here?
197
00:15:12,434 --> 00:15:15,504
Really fast... Speedie."
198
00:15:15,537 --> 00:15:17,339
That became my name.
199
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,275
She was
"Hello. I'm Speedie.
200
00:15:20,309 --> 00:15:21,443
Nice to meet you."
201
00:15:21,476 --> 00:15:23,312
She's British.
202
00:15:57,879 --> 00:16:01,316
So Jeremy wanted
to be a better writer,
203
00:16:01,350 --> 00:16:02,684
so I was reading everything,
204
00:16:02,717 --> 00:16:04,753
everything
I can get my hands on.
205
00:16:26,941 --> 00:16:31,713
And it just resonated
with everything that...
206
00:16:31,746 --> 00:16:34,549
lived inside me.
207
00:16:34,583 --> 00:16:35,884
Boy:
208
00:16:35,917 --> 00:16:38,119
And I used to pray not,
"God, please make me
209
00:16:38,152 --> 00:16:39,688
a beautiful pretty girl."
210
00:16:39,721 --> 00:16:42,757
It was, "Let me wake up
as a cute blond-haired,
211
00:16:42,791 --> 00:16:46,395
blue-eyed boy...
A blond-haired, blue-eyed boy
212
00:16:46,428 --> 00:16:48,897
that a man would love
and want to fuck."
213
00:16:56,405 --> 00:16:58,807
Silverberg: So,
this young person reached out.
214
00:16:59,641 --> 00:17:01,075
There was a kooky factor.
215
00:17:01,109 --> 00:17:02,653
I mean,
when someone's talking like that
216
00:17:02,677 --> 00:17:03,854
on the phone saying,
"I'm homeless,
217
00:17:03,878 --> 00:17:05,914
and I need to get through
to Dennis Cooper.
218
00:17:05,947 --> 00:17:08,817
And I'm walking around
with a fax machine."
219
00:17:23,965 --> 00:17:27,736
It seemed perfect for Dennis,
and Dennis went for it.
220
00:17:49,691 --> 00:17:52,594
Well I mean it was all, like,
you know,
221
00:17:52,627 --> 00:17:53,995
"I love your book 'Try'."
222
00:17:54,028 --> 00:17:55,864
It's my bible,
and I totally relate
223
00:17:55,897 --> 00:17:59,601
to the character
who lets guys sexually use him.
224
00:18:14,215 --> 00:18:16,150
He would say
he was calling from...
225
00:18:16,184 --> 00:18:18,019
Sometimes,
he said a public phone.
226
00:18:18,987 --> 00:18:21,155
Sometimes, he said
he was at a friend's,
227
00:18:21,189 --> 00:18:24,493
and then eventually
the friend became Speedie.
228
00:18:24,526 --> 00:18:27,996
There wasn't that much time
where Jeremy was homeless,
229
00:18:28,029 --> 00:18:32,066
and eventually he got
this boyfriend, Astor.
230
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,569
So, you have
this cast of characters,
231
00:18:34,603 --> 00:18:38,640
and suddenly I need Astor
232
00:18:38,673 --> 00:18:41,042
to be Geoff.
233
00:18:41,075 --> 00:18:43,812
Because Astor didn't exist.
234
00:18:43,845 --> 00:18:47,682
Astor was just
on the astral plane.
235
00:19:07,869 --> 00:19:11,673
So, it came to pass
that Jeremy is now living
236
00:19:11,706 --> 00:19:16,144
with Speedie and Astor
as a family.
237
00:19:21,783 --> 00:19:25,554
Being with my Barbies,
I controlled,
238
00:19:25,587 --> 00:19:27,255
and it ordered the universe.
239
00:19:27,288 --> 00:19:33,127
And my Barbie world was not
a happy world.
240
00:19:33,161 --> 00:19:37,031
There's actually a photo
where I have them all lined up
241
00:19:37,065 --> 00:19:39,233
naked with their butts
in the air.
242
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:41,970
And they're going
to be disciplined.
243
00:19:42,003 --> 00:19:47,141
I'd make these really intense,
very intense stories.
244
00:19:47,175 --> 00:19:51,179
My Barbies committed crimes
of rape
245
00:19:51,212 --> 00:19:53,181
and assault
246
00:19:53,214 --> 00:19:55,584
and child abuse.
247
00:19:55,617 --> 00:19:59,854
They were injured,
and I could make them bleed.
248
00:19:59,888 --> 00:20:01,656
They were given black eyes.
249
00:20:03,892 --> 00:20:05,259
I had no idea
250
00:20:05,293 --> 00:20:10,765
that the way I played
Barbie dolls wasn't normal.
251
00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:16,137
Gradually, the story
of Terminator began to come out.
252
00:20:17,305 --> 00:20:21,576
He said that he was from
a Southern Baptist background
253
00:20:21,610 --> 00:20:24,746
with sadistic,
fundamentalist grandparents.
254
00:20:24,779 --> 00:20:27,315
One of whom had made him bathe
255
00:20:27,348 --> 00:20:31,152
in a bathtub of bleach.
256
00:20:44,098 --> 00:20:49,170
It more gradually came out
that the AIDS that he had
257
00:20:49,203 --> 00:20:52,674
was probably caught from
one of his mother's boyfriends
258
00:20:52,707 --> 00:20:54,909
who had abused him.
259
00:20:54,943 --> 00:20:58,246
And his high voice was
probably due to the fact
260
00:20:58,279 --> 00:21:01,783
that his genitals
had been mutilated
261
00:21:01,816 --> 00:21:04,318
so that he never went
into puberty.
262
00:21:22,403 --> 00:21:26,140
He finally succumbed
to my constant questions
263
00:21:26,174 --> 00:21:28,943
by offering to send me photos.
264
00:21:31,813 --> 00:21:37,351
They showed a rather attractive
blond boy of about 15.
265
00:21:37,385 --> 00:21:41,222
And I actually framed them and
put them on my bookcase
266
00:21:41,255 --> 00:21:45,226
with the pictures of my family
and of my lover.
267
00:21:45,259 --> 00:21:48,830
At that point,
helping him develop as a writer
268
00:21:48,863 --> 00:21:50,965
became a mission for me.
269
00:22:37,311 --> 00:22:40,949
There's not a lot of discovery
in publishing anymore.
270
00:22:40,982 --> 00:22:44,385
To hear a new voice
was exciting.
271
00:22:44,418 --> 00:22:49,891
William Burroughs, Genet,
Allen Ginsberg...
272
00:22:49,924 --> 00:22:55,263
All these people provided voices
to an alternative culture
273
00:22:55,296 --> 00:22:58,299
and suddenly it seemed like
there was a torchbearer.
274
00:22:58,332 --> 00:23:01,903
This was a homeless teenager
who was dealing with HIV,
275
00:23:01,936 --> 00:23:03,504
just getting off the streets.
276
00:23:03,537 --> 00:23:05,774
Someone, whose work spoke to
277
00:23:05,807 --> 00:23:09,944
an aspect of American culture
I hadn't heard about before.
278
00:23:32,901 --> 00:23:34,235
And it fucking shouldn't.
279
00:23:34,268 --> 00:23:36,204
I knew I still needed to write.
280
00:23:36,237 --> 00:23:37,438
I still wanted to write.
281
00:23:37,471 --> 00:23:39,473
But I wasn't gonna
fucking write that shit.
282
00:23:39,507 --> 00:23:42,376
And I didn't let them
publish the work.
283
00:23:42,410 --> 00:23:45,346
You sure as fuck don't walk
away from a book deal.
284
00:23:45,379 --> 00:23:46,981
And I did.
285
00:23:57,992 --> 00:24:01,996
I'm 32 years old,
and I'm pregnant.
286
00:24:04,098 --> 00:24:07,135
And I'm still
talking to Dr. Owens,
287
00:24:07,168 --> 00:24:09,337
but everything's shifting.
288
00:24:12,874 --> 00:24:15,376
But Jeremy is still there.
289
00:24:15,409 --> 00:24:18,579
And my body
has just betrayed him
290
00:24:18,612 --> 00:24:21,549
in the ultimate fucking way.
291
00:24:23,985 --> 00:24:27,255
I am completely female.
292
00:24:27,288 --> 00:24:32,260
I have given birth to
a baby boy who I'm nursing.
293
00:24:32,293 --> 00:24:34,996
There is no hope in hell
294
00:24:35,029 --> 00:24:37,598
that I'm ever gonna give
Jeremy the body
295
00:24:37,631 --> 00:24:40,268
that he really, really wants.
296
00:24:40,301 --> 00:24:43,872
'Cause my focus,
my number one priority,
297
00:24:43,905 --> 00:24:45,974
is this baby.
298
00:24:46,007 --> 00:24:47,375
Not him.
299
00:24:48,943 --> 00:24:53,547
And then one day,
the door of willingness opened.
300
00:24:57,185 --> 00:24:59,287
It was exactly
like watching a movie.
301
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:03,191
It was like a 1940's serial,
a cliff hanger.
302
00:25:03,224 --> 00:25:06,194
I would only see
to the next road sign.
303
00:25:06,227 --> 00:25:07,361
I was in the fog.
304
00:25:07,395 --> 00:25:10,198
I'd get right up to that point.
305
00:25:11,099 --> 00:25:12,333
Then I'd end it.
306
00:25:12,366 --> 00:25:14,268
I didn't know where
it was going to go ever,
307
00:25:14,302 --> 00:25:15,970
but it kept leading me,
308
00:25:16,004 --> 00:25:18,172
and I would just
watch it unfold,
309
00:25:18,206 --> 00:25:22,310
and it was so much fun.
310
00:25:33,487 --> 00:25:36,991
LeRoy: I look up
and see the glowing aura
311
00:25:37,025 --> 00:25:40,261
of the Holy Jackalope Shrine.
312
00:25:49,971 --> 00:25:51,672
Everyone closes their eyes
313
00:25:51,705 --> 00:25:57,078
and makes their prayer for
a newfound libidinous powers.
314
00:26:00,214 --> 00:26:02,316
I reach down into my tube top,
315
00:26:02,350 --> 00:26:07,155
grab my raccoon penis bone,
and clutch it tight.
316
00:26:07,188 --> 00:26:10,959
Please, oh, divine jackalope.
317
00:26:10,992 --> 00:26:13,962
I want to be a real lizard.
318
00:26:13,995 --> 00:26:18,266
I want to earn a huge bone.
319
00:26:20,534 --> 00:26:24,638
I finished writing the story,
and I don't know what it is.
320
00:26:24,672 --> 00:26:26,440
I speak to the editor,
321
00:26:26,474 --> 00:26:29,077
and he comes back to me
and he says,
322
00:26:29,110 --> 00:26:31,679
"You wrote a novel."
323
00:26:31,712 --> 00:26:35,249
Sarah came in
and it felt fully formed.
324
00:26:35,283 --> 00:26:38,386
It was like Athena
emerging from Zeus' head.
325
00:26:38,419 --> 00:26:41,189
It sounded like a vision sounds.
326
00:26:51,365 --> 00:26:53,134
The book is very different
327
00:26:53,167 --> 00:26:55,036
than the other
Terminator writing.
328
00:26:55,069 --> 00:26:56,470
So we need a different name.
329
00:26:56,504 --> 00:26:58,539
He doesn't want
to use his name, Jeremy,
330
00:26:58,572 --> 00:27:03,144
so the editor suggests
using his initials...
331
00:27:03,177 --> 00:27:05,713
Jeremy Terminator, JT.
332
00:27:05,746 --> 00:27:07,348
Jeremy had a last name
333
00:27:07,381 --> 00:27:10,251
from a phone sex client of mine,
LeRoy.
334
00:27:27,335 --> 00:27:30,304
So we have the name... JT LeRoy.
335
00:27:31,572 --> 00:27:35,109
So they send out
the accidental book.
336
00:27:35,676 --> 00:27:39,280
And I have no idea how
it's gonna be received,
337
00:27:39,313 --> 00:27:41,515
because I know
it's really weird.
338
00:27:41,549 --> 00:27:45,319
I haven't seen anything else
like it out there.
339
00:27:45,353 --> 00:27:47,255
And we start
getting reviews back.
340
00:27:47,288 --> 00:27:52,260
And they're really, really good.
341
00:27:52,293 --> 00:27:55,763
And it's
the most exciting feeling
342
00:27:55,796 --> 00:27:58,399
to get this response
343
00:27:58,432 --> 00:28:01,769
from this book
that I didn't mean to write.
344
00:28:29,663 --> 00:28:32,733
Today we're going to be doing
"Sarah" by JT LeRoy.
345
00:28:32,766 --> 00:28:35,103
JT LeRoy
is a very young American author
346
00:28:35,136 --> 00:28:36,604
who burst on the literary scene.
347
00:28:36,637 --> 00:28:39,640
It made me think of
all those Southern stories...
348
00:28:39,673 --> 00:28:42,243
Flannery O'Connor and Faulkner.
349
00:28:42,276 --> 00:28:43,777
Southern gothic superstars Yeah.
350
00:28:43,811 --> 00:28:46,247
There's a lot of Truman Capote
in this guy.
351
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,383
And I particularly like
this young boy-girl.
352
00:28:49,417 --> 00:28:53,587
And the collision between
naivete and maturity.
353
00:28:53,621 --> 00:28:59,059
It's like this weird little
supernova called Sarah.
354
00:29:00,561 --> 00:29:03,397
Albert:
JT LeRoy is very, very shy.
355
00:29:03,431 --> 00:29:05,366
He can't do readings.
356
00:29:05,399 --> 00:29:08,702
So people suggest,
he can't read it?
357
00:29:08,736 --> 00:29:09,837
Let us read it.
358
00:29:11,605 --> 00:29:14,142
So it was
the first reading ever,
359
00:29:14,175 --> 00:29:15,276
and I was there.
360
00:29:16,344 --> 00:29:18,279
And nobody knew I was there.
361
00:29:18,312 --> 00:29:19,680
Hey, everybody.
362
00:29:19,713 --> 00:29:22,483
Welcome to the reading
for JT LeRoy's book, "Sarah,"
363
00:29:22,516 --> 00:29:23,851
that just came out.
364
00:29:24,718 --> 00:29:27,488
"Le Loup puts in flashier
lights, but the crowds thin
365
00:29:27,521 --> 00:29:29,623
as talk spreads of luck
turning malevolent
366
00:29:29,657 --> 00:29:33,294
after a visit with me,
the patron saint of truckers."
367
00:29:34,595 --> 00:29:37,465
Albert: I would have died
if anybody knew
368
00:29:37,498 --> 00:29:41,835
because I'm big and I am
not comfortable in my skin.
369
00:29:41,869 --> 00:29:44,305
And everybody's coming to hear
370
00:29:44,338 --> 00:29:47,441
this really hip, new,
cool writer,
371
00:29:47,475 --> 00:29:48,475
and I'm not it.
372
00:29:55,483 --> 00:29:57,418
All right this is Laura again.
373
00:29:57,451 --> 00:30:00,188
I just was getting
incredibly depressed,
374
00:30:00,221 --> 00:30:03,824
and I knew being at home
was really fucking me up.
375
00:30:03,857 --> 00:30:08,296
And my mother was, like, didn't
know what to do with me.
376
00:30:08,329 --> 00:30:09,763
So I wanted to get help.
377
00:30:10,964 --> 00:30:13,701
We were going to this place,
St. Vincents.
378
00:30:13,734 --> 00:30:16,770
It's a mental institution...
Like a loony bin.
379
00:30:16,804 --> 00:30:20,174
And we packed up my stuff
and we went.
380
00:30:20,208 --> 00:30:22,343
We went upstairs to the unit.
381
00:30:22,376 --> 00:30:23,911
There were these old people
382
00:30:23,944 --> 00:30:28,216
just walking around
in a Thorazine daze.
383
00:30:28,249 --> 00:30:30,584
It's a very scary place for
a 13-year-old to walk in,
384
00:30:30,618 --> 00:30:32,353
but I felt safe
'cause I was like,
385
00:30:32,386 --> 00:30:33,887
"Hey, I'm with my mom."
386
00:30:33,921 --> 00:30:35,856
And then I said,
"Okay, you know, Mom,
387
00:30:35,889 --> 00:30:38,292
I've had enough of this,
I want to go."
388
00:30:38,326 --> 00:30:41,395
And she said to me,
"I'm going, you're staying."
389
00:30:47,668 --> 00:30:51,605
So "Sarah" was out in the world
to great acclaim
390
00:30:51,639 --> 00:30:53,941
and they wanted more JT LeRoy.
391
00:30:53,974 --> 00:30:58,679
So we took a collection of
those old Terminator stories.
392
00:30:59,747 --> 00:31:03,751
LeRoy: All the voices
in my head scream at me.
393
00:31:03,784 --> 00:31:07,255
And I can't see outside anymore.
394
00:31:07,588 --> 00:31:12,393
I can only see
the huge wooden electric chair,
395
00:31:12,426 --> 00:31:14,995
wired, waiting, and empty.
396
00:31:15,028 --> 00:31:19,433
And the Horned One,
with his blood soaked talons,
397
00:31:19,467 --> 00:31:22,670
clutching the silver-grey
switch.
398
00:31:25,306 --> 00:31:26,540
Laura Albert: We titled it,
399
00:31:26,574 --> 00:31:29,543
"The Heart is Deceitful
Above All Things."
400
00:31:29,577 --> 00:31:34,582
And that became
JT LeRoy's next novel.
401
00:32:23,531 --> 00:32:26,600
JT has quite a following.
402
00:32:26,634 --> 00:32:29,069
Some refer to it
as a cult following.
403
00:32:29,102 --> 00:32:31,305
I came because
I really wanted to see
404
00:32:31,339 --> 00:32:32,640
what all the hype was about.
405
00:32:32,673 --> 00:32:36,510
He's created, you know,
uh, this buzz around him.
406
00:32:36,544 --> 00:32:39,880
JT LeRoy's reclusiveness
was the buzz.
407
00:32:39,913 --> 00:32:42,650
The lack of a body
at the funeral
408
00:32:42,683 --> 00:32:45,419
made it that much
more interesting.
409
00:32:45,453 --> 00:32:47,955
Since JT doesn't come out
and read for himself,
410
00:32:47,988 --> 00:32:50,858
he's got an enormous
support group of celebrities
411
00:32:50,891 --> 00:32:53,527
who will come out and read
his work because they love him.
412
00:32:54,362 --> 00:32:57,765
Well, I feel like I have a...
A new good friend
413
00:32:57,798 --> 00:32:59,533
because I've...
I've been speaking to him
414
00:32:59,567 --> 00:33:00,768
on the phone all week.
415
00:33:08,909 --> 00:33:11,579
In "Sarah," the...
The raccoon bone
416
00:33:11,612 --> 00:33:13,514
is a kind of badge of honor.
417
00:33:13,547 --> 00:33:14,815
It's the, um...
418
00:33:14,848 --> 00:33:17,785
the hooker's equivalent
of a military sash,
419
00:33:17,818 --> 00:33:19,987
or a Boy Scout's merit badge.
420
00:33:20,020 --> 00:33:22,623
I just can't bring myself
to bring in, uh,
421
00:33:22,656 --> 00:33:24,057
at this stage of my life...
422
00:33:24,091 --> 00:33:28,396
uh... another mammal's penis
resting on my neck.
423
00:33:28,429 --> 00:33:31,031
Silverberg: The signed
JT LeRoy raccoon penis bone
424
00:33:31,064 --> 00:33:33,567
was a brilliant piece
of ephemera.
425
00:33:33,601 --> 00:33:34,835
They sold! They sold.
426
00:33:34,868 --> 00:33:36,804
People bought these
raccoon penis bones.
427
00:33:36,837 --> 00:33:39,973
That was as close as anyone
was gonna get to JT LeRoy.
428
00:33:43,544 --> 00:33:45,613
Um... Yes, I do.
429
00:33:45,646 --> 00:33:47,047
I believe that I will meet him.
430
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:48,716
I do.
431
00:34:08,869 --> 00:34:12,840
Laura Albert: So the books were
taking off, especially overseas,
432
00:34:12,873 --> 00:34:16,544
and you had German media
really, really wanting
433
00:34:16,577 --> 00:34:20,581
to do live,
in-person interviews.
434
00:34:20,614 --> 00:34:24,151
JT LeRoy had to walk amongst us.
435
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:29,857
So one day Savannah
was over at our house,
436
00:34:29,890 --> 00:34:32,426
and she was
sitting on the couch,
437
00:34:32,460 --> 00:34:36,129
and she'd shaved her head
and dyed her hair blue,
438
00:34:36,163 --> 00:34:39,600
and she wanted
to try on my glasses.
439
00:34:39,633 --> 00:34:41,001
I had this straw hat,
440
00:34:41,034 --> 00:34:43,737
and I'd given her
a raccoon penis bone,
441
00:34:43,771 --> 00:34:47,608
and she's chewing on it
like a corn-cob pipe.
442
00:34:47,641 --> 00:34:51,612
And I'm looking at her
and I said,
443
00:34:51,645 --> 00:34:54,414
"You know,
you look like JT LeRoy."
444
00:34:56,784 --> 00:34:58,652
So I came up with an idea...
445
00:34:58,686 --> 00:35:00,220
Just a one-off.
446
00:35:00,253 --> 00:35:03,691
You wear the sunglasses,
a cute blonde wig.
447
00:35:03,724 --> 00:35:05,659
We'll, like, bind your boobs.
448
00:35:05,693 --> 00:35:07,628
It'll be really fast.
449
00:35:07,661 --> 00:35:08,962
You'll get 50 bucks.
450
00:35:08,996 --> 00:35:12,232
And she was down.
451
00:35:47,801 --> 00:35:50,070
Laura Albert:
When we were on the shoot,
452
00:35:50,103 --> 00:35:52,773
Savannah is standing
on Polk Street,
453
00:35:52,806 --> 00:35:54,675
dressed kind of raggedy,
454
00:35:54,708 --> 00:35:56,944
looking like a street hustler.
455
00:35:59,813 --> 00:36:05,853
Laura Albert: I was so scared
that she could not articulate him.
456
00:36:05,886 --> 00:36:10,190
And they interviewed Savannah...
They interviewed JT.
457
00:36:19,199 --> 00:36:21,902
Laura Albert:
And it was amazing to watch
458
00:36:21,935 --> 00:36:25,238
how he actually
settled into her.
459
00:36:25,272 --> 00:36:31,078
She just had those features
that were more masculine,
460
00:36:31,111 --> 00:36:35,015
which fit perfectly
for an adolescent boy.
461
00:36:42,723 --> 00:36:44,157
Savannah was perfect,
462
00:36:44,191 --> 00:36:48,095
and it was this really
liberating moment
463
00:36:48,128 --> 00:36:51,732
because it was almost
like in "Frankenstein,"
464
00:36:51,765 --> 00:36:53,967
"Let there be life."
465
00:36:55,636 --> 00:37:02,142
I was watching JT live.
466
00:37:10,050 --> 00:37:12,986
Laura Albert:
Um, I was ostracized,
467
00:37:13,020 --> 00:37:15,589
and people were like,
"you were in a loony bin."
468
00:37:15,623 --> 00:37:18,191
You're a loony.
469
00:37:18,926 --> 00:37:19,969
Laura Albert:
I felt like a misfit.
470
00:37:19,993 --> 00:37:23,597
I was totally alienated.
471
00:37:23,631 --> 00:37:28,168
And I found this secret society,
and it was mine.
472
00:37:28,201 --> 00:37:30,704
In 9th grade, I got into punk.
473
00:37:30,738 --> 00:37:32,172
It... it helped me, all right?
474
00:37:32,205 --> 00:37:35,142
I had a lot of problems,
and it helped me.
475
00:37:35,175 --> 00:37:38,646
I got Stiff Little Fingers,
Generation X,
476
00:37:38,679 --> 00:37:40,247
and the Sex Pistols.
477
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:43,684
I heard those records,
and my fate was sealed.
478
00:37:43,717 --> 00:37:45,318
I mean it was everything.
479
00:37:45,352 --> 00:37:47,020
That was it.
480
00:37:47,054 --> 00:37:48,756
But I would only go out
481
00:37:48,789 --> 00:37:50,758
if I felt
I'd lost enough weight,
482
00:37:50,791 --> 00:37:54,194
if I could fit into an outfit
that was punk enough.
483
00:37:54,227 --> 00:37:56,864
There's nothing worse
than being a fat punk.
484
00:37:58,098 --> 00:38:02,202
So I would send my sister
out in the world to live for me.
485
00:38:03,103 --> 00:38:07,207
Jojo was my avatar
in the punk world.
486
00:38:07,240 --> 00:38:10,077
I would dress her up,
I'd put on her makeup,
487
00:38:10,110 --> 00:38:12,079
I would do her hair.
488
00:38:13,814 --> 00:38:15,683
I had a leather jacket.
489
00:38:15,716 --> 00:38:18,185
I would put the badges on her.
490
00:38:18,986 --> 00:38:21,354
I would choose a T-shirt.
491
00:38:21,388 --> 00:38:23,090
I perfected her look,
492
00:38:23,123 --> 00:38:26,093
which was borderline
androgynous.
493
00:38:26,126 --> 00:38:30,197
Like she could be a guy,
but she also looked cute.
494
00:38:31,298 --> 00:38:34,668
I would tell her
who she was gonna talk to,
495
00:38:34,702 --> 00:38:38,171
who she was gonna meet,
496
00:38:38,205 --> 00:38:40,941
and she had to report
back to me.
497
00:38:40,974 --> 00:38:42,409
And I'd send her off.
498
00:38:43,276 --> 00:38:45,245
I was as intensely
deep in the scene
499
00:38:45,278 --> 00:38:47,147
as I could possibly get...
500
00:38:47,180 --> 00:38:49,316
Living in my head,
watching it unfold
501
00:38:49,349 --> 00:38:52,285
without actually
having to be there.
502
00:38:57,490 --> 00:39:03,263
Hey, Mikey, how long
have I been on the streets,
503
00:39:03,296 --> 00:39:05,032
on this crusade?
504
00:39:05,065 --> 00:39:08,368
I loved Gus Van Sant's
"My Own Private Idaho."
505
00:39:09,369 --> 00:39:11,805
So when he wanted
to option "Sarah,"
506
00:39:11,839 --> 00:39:13,941
it was as if we were following
507
00:39:13,974 --> 00:39:16,176
a path that was already
predestined.
508
00:39:34,027 --> 00:39:35,228
As JT LeRoy,
509
00:39:35,262 --> 00:39:38,231
I have had hours of conversation
with him.
510
00:39:38,265 --> 00:39:42,169
But now, we have to meet him.
511
00:39:42,202 --> 00:39:46,439
How the fuck am I gonna
give all those details,
512
00:39:46,473 --> 00:39:50,210
little minute things
to Savannah?
513
00:39:50,243 --> 00:39:53,213
What if they talk about a film?
514
00:39:56,016 --> 00:39:57,818
He comes to San Francisco,
515
00:39:57,851 --> 00:40:00,453
and he brings the actor
Michael Pitt with him.
516
00:40:02,055 --> 00:40:03,256
So we go to a restaurant,
517
00:40:03,290 --> 00:40:05,158
and we're waiting for
Gus to show up,
518
00:40:05,192 --> 00:40:07,427
and I'm very very nervous.
519
00:40:08,428 --> 00:40:09,930
I'm the assistant.
520
00:40:09,963 --> 00:40:13,801
But I have to be
an advocate for the book
521
00:40:13,834 --> 00:40:16,036
and get stuff done.
522
00:40:16,069 --> 00:40:17,070
So we meet Gus.
523
00:40:39,159 --> 00:40:40,493
They're bringing out
524
00:40:40,527 --> 00:40:43,964
all these really,
really expensive dishes.
525
00:40:43,997 --> 00:40:45,232
And I really want to find out
526
00:40:45,265 --> 00:40:46,934
what he wants to do
with "Sarah."
527
00:41:04,017 --> 00:41:05,152
And it's like,
528
00:41:05,185 --> 00:41:06,887
"Why should he be talking
to Speedie,
529
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:10,390
JT's assistant,
about his plans for 'Sarah.'"
530
00:41:10,423 --> 00:41:13,560
And Speedie
is right up in Gus' face.
531
00:41:13,593 --> 00:41:15,428
Oh, Gus, God, you know
532
00:41:15,462 --> 00:41:20,067
"My Own Private Idaho"
is so fucking great.
533
00:41:20,100 --> 00:41:22,870
River Phoenix, oh, my God,
what was he like?
534
00:41:22,903 --> 00:41:26,173
Oy, Gus, fucking barn crash...
535
00:41:28,075 --> 00:41:30,410
How the fuck
did you do that, mate?
536
00:41:30,443 --> 00:41:33,580
Speedie had to overcompensate
537
00:41:33,613 --> 00:41:38,451
with this kind of entertaining,
fat girl persona.
538
00:41:39,586 --> 00:41:43,356
And I actually felt
really bad about myself.
539
00:41:43,390 --> 00:41:45,592
I'm big.
540
00:41:45,625 --> 00:41:50,430
I feel a lot of shame
about my body.
541
00:41:50,463 --> 00:41:56,403
That it was really empowering
to have Speedie take over.
542
00:41:58,605 --> 00:42:01,108
We're outside the restaurant
with Gus Van Sant,
543
00:42:01,141 --> 00:42:03,911
and we're just hanging out
544
00:42:03,944 --> 00:42:09,182
and JT and Mike Pitt
are smoking a cigarette.
545
00:42:09,216 --> 00:42:13,520
And, next thing I know,
they're kissing.
546
00:42:41,681 --> 00:42:43,083
So "Sarah" was like
547
00:42:43,116 --> 00:42:45,452
a message in a bottle
to the world.
548
00:42:45,485 --> 00:42:51,959
And suddenly other artists
wanted that connection.
549
00:42:51,992 --> 00:42:56,029
♪ Give yourself away
550
00:42:56,063 --> 00:42:59,399
♪ And you give yourself away
551
00:42:59,432 --> 00:43:02,369
We're given VIP passes,
we go backstage,
552
00:43:02,402 --> 00:43:05,172
and we go to the intimate
after-party.
553
00:43:05,205 --> 00:43:06,639
The Edge is there,
554
00:43:06,673 --> 00:43:11,411
and I'm watching Bono
call JT over.
555
00:43:11,444 --> 00:43:13,546
And I know what's coming.
556
00:43:13,580 --> 00:43:17,117
It's what happens
to every artist
557
00:43:17,150 --> 00:43:19,352
when they've arrived.
558
00:43:19,386 --> 00:43:24,624
It's their anointment in
to what will be coming next.
559
00:43:24,657 --> 00:43:28,095
It's to help usher them
through the portal.
560
00:43:28,128 --> 00:43:31,531
You have the Bono talk.
561
00:43:32,665 --> 00:43:36,536
♪ Sleight of hand
and twist of fate ♪
562
00:43:36,569 --> 00:43:39,973
Albert: So I see Bono
snuggled close in
563
00:43:40,007 --> 00:43:42,042
with his arm around JT,
564
00:43:42,075 --> 00:43:43,543
and if you didn't know better,
565
00:43:43,576 --> 00:43:47,614
you would think
they were father and son.
566
00:43:47,647 --> 00:43:52,452
And Bono is very lovingly
giving him industry advice.
567
00:43:52,485 --> 00:43:56,156
"Watch out for the sharks,
be who you are,
568
00:43:56,189 --> 00:43:59,226
and never forget
where you came from."
569
00:44:00,593 --> 00:44:03,296
While JT is getting
the Bono talk,
570
00:44:03,330 --> 00:44:06,166
Speedie is getting
the manager talk.
571
00:44:07,100 --> 00:44:11,171
Paul McGuinness, U2's manager,
comes over to Speedie
572
00:44:11,204 --> 00:44:12,472
and he says,
573
00:44:12,505 --> 00:44:15,675
"Hey, did you see what my boy
did for yours?
574
00:44:15,708 --> 00:44:17,677
Ah, what did
your boy do for mine?"
575
00:44:17,710 --> 00:44:22,015
And he whips
out Rolling Stone magazine.
576
00:44:22,049 --> 00:44:23,483
And there it is.
577
00:44:23,516 --> 00:44:26,619
"Bono says, 'The Heart is
Deceitful Above All Things'
578
00:44:26,653 --> 00:44:29,056
is blowing my fucking mind.
579
00:44:46,206 --> 00:44:48,675
I'm 16 going on 17.
580
00:44:48,708 --> 00:44:52,479
And I am committed again
for the second time.
581
00:44:52,512 --> 00:44:55,248
And the social workers
were very clear
582
00:44:55,282 --> 00:44:58,351
that I should absolutely
not go home.
583
00:44:58,385 --> 00:45:00,353
So my parents gave up custody,
584
00:45:00,387 --> 00:45:03,056
and I became
a ward of the state.
585
00:45:04,291 --> 00:45:06,426
And I ended up
in a friendly home,
586
00:45:06,459 --> 00:45:09,629
a group home, run by
the Jewish childcare agency.
587
00:45:11,331 --> 00:45:14,501
One day I saw
this beautiful skinhead,
588
00:45:14,534 --> 00:45:17,670
hanging outside
the New Yorker movie theatre,
589
00:45:17,704 --> 00:45:24,377
and he's got the braces
and the ox-blood Doc Martens.
590
00:45:24,411 --> 00:45:26,813
We had just seen
The Who, "Quadrophenia,"
591
00:45:26,846 --> 00:45:29,582
and I thought,
"How do I approach him?"
592
00:45:29,616 --> 00:45:31,651
and I decided to use
a British accent,
593
00:45:31,684 --> 00:45:34,421
because I knew nothing
would be more irresistible
594
00:45:34,454 --> 00:45:37,357
to a Brit-style skinhead.
595
00:45:37,390 --> 00:45:41,294
And we fell in love.
596
00:45:42,662 --> 00:45:44,397
I would bring him
into the group home,
597
00:45:44,431 --> 00:45:46,099
and all the girls would know
I'm British.
598
00:45:46,133 --> 00:45:48,268
Hello, this is my boyfriend.
599
00:45:48,301 --> 00:45:49,469
This is Mick.
600
00:45:49,502 --> 00:45:51,104
Yeah, so, uh, he's gonna, like,
601
00:45:51,138 --> 00:45:52,539
be joining us for dinner.
602
00:45:52,572 --> 00:45:54,807
He's like, you know,
"What's so funny?
603
00:45:54,841 --> 00:45:56,376
Are they laughing at me?"
604
00:45:56,409 --> 00:45:57,544
Oh, no, no, no, they just...
605
00:45:57,577 --> 00:45:59,212
They haven't had
a skinhead over.
606
00:45:59,246 --> 00:46:01,381
They just think it's cute.
607
00:46:01,414 --> 00:46:03,316
It was probably
about four months
608
00:46:03,350 --> 00:46:04,617
of going out with each other
609
00:46:04,651 --> 00:46:07,454
before he found out
that I wasn't British.
610
00:46:52,199 --> 00:46:55,602
Albert: So suddenly,
JT is the go-to person
611
00:46:55,635 --> 00:46:57,404
for the fashion world.
612
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:05,212
And to have JT being an icon
for a fashion sensibility
613
00:47:05,245 --> 00:47:08,681
was very, very surreal.
614
00:47:11,651 --> 00:47:13,753
Because it was
just at that point
615
00:47:13,786 --> 00:47:18,758
where I was beginning
to be able to dress myself
616
00:47:18,791 --> 00:47:22,429
instead of just dressing
the avatar.
617
00:47:54,927 --> 00:47:56,396
The Italians love JT.
618
00:47:56,429 --> 00:47:58,531
The books are number one
and number two
619
00:47:58,565 --> 00:48:00,467
on the best-seller list.
620
00:48:03,303 --> 00:48:07,674
So the Italian publisher, Fazi,
brought JT and Speedie
621
00:48:07,707 --> 00:48:10,943
over to Italy to do readings.
622
00:48:10,977 --> 00:48:15,282
Asia Argento was
this big Italian star.
623
00:48:15,315 --> 00:48:17,684
We had seen her movie "xXx."
624
00:48:17,717 --> 00:48:20,520
She played, like,
a Russian action star.
625
00:48:21,854 --> 00:48:24,324
Weapons. There are more
weapons here in the back.
626
00:48:26,326 --> 00:48:30,397
Laura Albert: Her father is
Dario Argento, the horror master.
627
00:48:30,430 --> 00:48:31,964
- Aah!
- Aah!
628
00:48:31,998 --> 00:48:34,434
Aah!
- No, no, no!
629
00:48:34,467 --> 00:48:35,735
No!
630
00:48:35,768 --> 00:48:38,471
Laura Albert: And Asia
had gotten the books.
631
00:49:01,428 --> 00:49:04,464
And she was hoping
to convince JT
632
00:49:04,497 --> 00:49:06,566
to give her the rights.
633
00:49:06,599 --> 00:49:09,001
And we meet Asia.
634
00:49:09,035 --> 00:49:12,939
As Speedie, I go over to her,
and I say,
635
00:49:12,972 --> 00:49:15,007
"Oh, it's
really nice to meet you,
636
00:49:15,041 --> 00:49:16,676
God, you're so pretty.
637
00:49:16,709 --> 00:49:19,946
You look like
a young Drew Barrymore."
638
00:49:19,979 --> 00:49:23,750
So the Italian
publishers were really excited,
639
00:49:23,783 --> 00:49:26,853
because there was
this huge literary event,
640
00:49:26,886 --> 00:49:32,525
and somehow,
they squeezed JT onto the bill.
641
00:49:32,559 --> 00:49:33,826
So, when we get there,
642
00:49:33,860 --> 00:49:37,497
there are fans
waiting for us to arrive.
643
00:49:37,530 --> 00:49:39,566
And, Savannah's getting nervous,
644
00:49:39,599 --> 00:49:42,669
because she has not done
a live reading before.
645
00:49:42,702 --> 00:49:46,005
So, she goes into a porta potty,
and she throws up.
646
00:49:47,774 --> 00:49:49,476
It's time for her to go on.
647
00:49:49,509 --> 00:49:54,347
And our host presents JT LeRoy,
the best selling author,
648
00:49:54,381 --> 00:49:55,415
to Milan.
649
00:49:56,383 --> 00:49:59,486
And I really wanted to
protect her anonymity.
650
00:49:59,519 --> 00:50:03,456
She's wearing sunglasses
and a visor.
651
00:50:04,491 --> 00:50:07,794
She's really scared,
her body is trembling,
652
00:50:07,827 --> 00:50:11,664
so I think to myself,
"What would Warhol do?"
653
00:50:11,698 --> 00:50:14,534
I tell her get under the table.
654
00:50:14,567 --> 00:50:15,935
Fuck them.
655
00:50:16,969 --> 00:50:17,970
And she does.
656
00:50:18,004 --> 00:50:22,008
She takes the microphone
and goes under the table.
657
00:50:22,041 --> 00:50:23,676
And she's reading,
658
00:50:23,710 --> 00:50:26,379
and you can barely
hear her voice.
659
00:50:27,780 --> 00:50:28,915
LeRoy:
660
00:50:28,948 --> 00:50:31,551
I stare at his oversize hands
661
00:50:31,584 --> 00:50:33,620
as they grip the ladder tightly,
662
00:50:33,653 --> 00:50:36,623
the same way I've seen him
grip one of his girls' wrists
663
00:50:36,656 --> 00:50:38,825
as he dragged her
into another room...
664
00:50:38,858 --> 00:50:42,094
And afterwards,
there's a silence.
665
00:50:43,095 --> 00:50:46,733
And then there's this
huge wave of applause.
666
00:50:49,736 --> 00:50:54,106
And she suddenly realizes
that she's in a stadium,
667
00:50:54,140 --> 00:50:55,742
and it's packed.
668
00:50:56,208 --> 00:50:57,844
And she jumps.
669
00:50:57,877 --> 00:51:00,613
And she turns around,
670
00:51:00,647 --> 00:51:04,517
and goes face first
into the microphone.
671
00:51:04,551 --> 00:51:09,456
And you just hear from
the entire audience a gasp,
672
00:51:09,489 --> 00:51:11,858
and then they go, "Ohh",
673
00:51:11,891 --> 00:51:14,494
and they love it...
674
00:51:16,563 --> 00:51:18,164
and she runs off.
675
00:51:19,766 --> 00:51:22,401
And it was perfect.
676
00:51:23,570 --> 00:51:24,904
It was perfect.
677
00:51:26,839 --> 00:51:34,747
So JT and Asia right away,
JT was just smitten.
678
00:51:34,781 --> 00:51:39,018
Asia swept JT off his feet.
679
00:51:39,051 --> 00:51:41,821
And I was attached to his feet.
680
00:51:41,854 --> 00:51:44,791
I was the kite tail
that had came along.
681
00:51:44,824 --> 00:51:47,159
It's June, it's Rome,
682
00:51:47,193 --> 00:51:49,862
I'm watching
JT go off with Asia.
683
00:51:49,896 --> 00:51:53,032
It was made very clear
that I was in the way.
684
00:51:53,065 --> 00:51:57,504
It was kinda like,
"Speedie, go home."
685
00:51:57,537 --> 00:52:00,139
I feel really lonely,
686
00:52:00,172 --> 00:52:03,175
because my Barbie dolls
have come to life,
687
00:52:03,209 --> 00:52:05,211
and there's definitely
that feeling that
688
00:52:05,244 --> 00:52:07,814
they wouldn't mind
killing me off.
689
00:52:09,516 --> 00:52:12,051
JT comes back to the hotel
where we are
690
00:52:12,084 --> 00:52:14,587
with lipstick all over her face,
691
00:52:14,621 --> 00:52:16,455
smelling like Asia's perfume.
692
00:52:17,223 --> 00:52:21,060
And she was high,
and her wig had come off.
693
00:52:21,093 --> 00:52:24,764
And she had had something
happen.
694
00:52:32,872 --> 00:52:35,074
And she was on cloud nine.
695
00:52:35,107 --> 00:52:37,944
And she just didn't
want to talk to me.
696
00:52:37,977 --> 00:52:42,515
And what I have to remind her is
you're on the clock.
697
00:52:42,549 --> 00:52:43,683
You're on the dime.
698
00:52:43,716 --> 00:52:45,017
This is about a movie.
699
00:52:45,051 --> 00:52:48,120
I have to know,
because when we're on the phone,
700
00:52:48,154 --> 00:52:52,692
she might be calling me,
not necessarily JT,
701
00:52:52,725 --> 00:52:54,761
and I have to match that stuff.
702
00:53:19,251 --> 00:53:21,320
Laura Albert:
Asia was gonna get that book
703
00:53:21,353 --> 00:53:23,823
one way or the other.
704
00:53:23,856 --> 00:53:29,796
She would do whatever it took,
whatever needed to be done,
705
00:53:29,829 --> 00:53:31,998
and I respected that,
706
00:53:32,031 --> 00:53:37,136
and I thought,
"Yeah, you can make this movie."
707
00:53:40,873 --> 00:53:44,744
So Gus and JT
are talking all the time,
708
00:53:44,777 --> 00:53:46,613
and they get along so well
709
00:53:46,646 --> 00:53:49,682
that Gus agrees to do
a photo shoot
710
00:53:49,716 --> 00:53:51,183
for Abercrombie and Fitch,
711
00:53:51,217 --> 00:53:55,922
where JT is literally
walking on water.
712
00:53:57,990 --> 00:54:00,326
Gus's option on "Sarah"
had already expired,
713
00:54:00,359 --> 00:54:05,064
but he had a project,
which I really loved.
714
00:54:05,097 --> 00:54:08,200
It was based on Columbine...
715
00:54:09,201 --> 00:54:13,372
and seeing kids
taking guns into schools,
716
00:54:13,405 --> 00:54:15,274
and killing everybody.
717
00:54:15,307 --> 00:54:17,376
They, like, started blowing up
718
00:54:17,409 --> 00:54:19,912
and shooting everyone
in the cafeteria.
719
00:54:19,946 --> 00:54:21,256
And then you could
hear them laughing.
720
00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:24,784
And, having been bullied
721
00:54:24,817 --> 00:54:26,653
in the hallways
of my grammar school,
722
00:54:26,686 --> 00:54:32,191
I couldn't wait to get home
and escape into my dolls,
723
00:54:32,224 --> 00:54:35,662
because school was just torture.
724
00:54:35,695 --> 00:54:39,065
I was constantly being mocked
and laughed at
725
00:54:39,098 --> 00:54:41,600
and taunted for my weight.
726
00:54:43,903 --> 00:54:45,304
My name's Laura Albert,
727
00:54:45,337 --> 00:54:49,709
my last name's Albert,
and I was chubby.
728
00:54:49,742 --> 00:54:52,779
And when I'd come into school
all the kids would yell...
729
00:54:52,812 --> 00:54:54,914
Man: Hey, Hey, Hey.
730
00:54:54,947 --> 00:54:56,949
It's Fat Albert.
731
00:54:56,983 --> 00:54:58,250
It... it was horrible.
732
00:54:58,284 --> 00:55:01,954
It just...
It never ever, ever stopped.
733
00:55:03,189 --> 00:55:06,425
So when Gus said,
"I have this project,"
734
00:55:06,458 --> 00:55:08,160
that's all he needed to say.
735
00:55:08,194 --> 00:55:11,831
That night, I just sat
and wrote the first scene,
736
00:55:11,864 --> 00:55:14,266
which he ended up using.
737
00:55:14,300 --> 00:55:17,303
It was a girl
that was unattractive,
738
00:55:17,336 --> 00:55:19,005
she was overweight,
739
00:55:19,038 --> 00:55:20,840
she was in the library.
740
00:55:20,873 --> 00:55:22,441
And she gets shot.
741
00:55:22,474 --> 00:55:23,710
Michelle: Hey, you guys...
742
00:55:26,779 --> 00:55:29,782
I wrote a whole script,
but the problem was,
743
00:55:29,816 --> 00:55:31,718
Gus had gone through a portal.
744
00:55:31,751 --> 00:55:34,787
He was really inspired by
the auteur Béla Tarr
745
00:55:34,821 --> 00:55:39,125
who would do these
really long tracking shots,
746
00:55:39,158 --> 00:55:42,962
and he was also really into
improvisation.
747
00:55:42,995 --> 00:55:44,263
Hey, what are you guys doing?
748
00:55:44,296 --> 00:55:45,998
Just get the fuck out.
Don't come back.
749
00:56:41,420 --> 00:56:42,254
In my dreams,
750
00:56:42,288 --> 00:56:45,357
I'm a rock star,
and I'm Miss America,
751
00:56:45,391 --> 00:56:48,327
and I'm a tap dancer,
and, you know.
752
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:51,330
There's so many things
I'd like to do,
753
00:56:51,363 --> 00:56:55,768
but I think I'm...
I'm more interested in...
754
00:56:55,802 --> 00:57:00,807
I mean music is
even more than literature.
755
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:02,809
It's a more immediate impact
756
00:57:02,842 --> 00:57:06,478
of, um, an artist
getting through to someone
757
00:57:06,512 --> 00:57:08,214
and sharing their vision.
758
00:57:08,247 --> 00:57:12,084
By the time his name
became JT LeRoy
759
00:57:12,118 --> 00:57:14,086
and "Sarah" was published,
760
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:18,490
I was already having misgivings
about the way that Terminator
761
00:57:18,524 --> 00:57:21,093
was managing his career.
762
00:57:21,127 --> 00:57:26,799
I had wanted to nurture
a pure literary presence.
763
00:57:26,833 --> 00:57:27,900
And more and more,
764
00:57:27,934 --> 00:57:29,501
I heard about these celebrities
765
00:57:29,535 --> 00:57:31,137
being added to the mix.
766
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:37,543
Ira Silverberg: It was
a revolving door of celebrity,
767
00:57:37,576 --> 00:57:40,012
both marginal and real.
768
00:57:42,181 --> 00:57:45,417
My fear was that JT LeRoy
wouldn't be taken seriously
769
00:57:45,451 --> 00:57:49,288
if the only thing that existed
was a veneer of celebrity.
770
00:57:50,622 --> 00:57:53,192
I pulled JT aside and said,
771
00:57:53,225 --> 00:57:55,194
"it's time to get back to
the writing."
772
00:57:55,227 --> 00:57:56,929
It's time to become
a writer again.
773
00:57:56,963 --> 00:57:59,498
It's the only thing you have.
774
00:57:59,531 --> 00:58:02,068
Gianopaolos: I worried
that he was getting too pulled
775
00:58:02,101 --> 00:58:04,403
into the art world, the cinema
world, the fashion world,
776
00:58:04,436 --> 00:58:06,906
especially as the book
started to do well,
777
00:58:06,939 --> 00:58:09,942
and he was interested
in more of the music world.
778
00:58:09,976 --> 00:58:11,043
LeRoy: It's about me.
779
00:58:11,077 --> 00:58:13,312
Oh, it's about the story.
780
00:58:13,345 --> 00:58:16,315
Gianopaolos: I remember
this enormous amount of time
781
00:58:16,348 --> 00:58:20,119
that JT spent
writing lyrics for this band.
782
00:58:21,921 --> 00:58:23,089
Okay, we're Thistle.
783
00:59:00,026 --> 00:59:05,297
I fell in love with Geoff
because he was a born musician.
784
00:59:06,298 --> 00:59:10,569
His dream, his goal was always
to be a rock star.
785
00:59:11,637 --> 00:59:14,506
And I really wanted
to be a singer.
786
00:59:15,441 --> 00:59:19,645
And we just worked together
all the time on our music.
787
00:59:20,246 --> 00:59:22,281
I would write
the melodies and lyrics,
788
00:59:22,314 --> 00:59:25,217
and he would put it together.
789
00:59:25,251 --> 00:59:28,454
And I loved
what he had come up with,
790
00:59:28,487 --> 00:59:32,458
so we started a relationship.
791
00:59:34,593 --> 00:59:37,096
And now, even though Geoff and I
792
00:59:37,129 --> 00:59:39,365
were still
creating music together,
793
00:59:39,398 --> 00:59:42,534
it felt like
I was moving more towards
794
00:59:42,568 --> 00:59:47,439
a life with his sister
instead of a life with him.
795
00:59:47,473 --> 00:59:51,443
And I really wanted to
keep our connection
796
00:59:51,477 --> 00:59:54,246
and his goal and dream alive.
797
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:57,149
So we'd start
sending the music out,
798
00:59:57,183 --> 00:59:59,218
and of course,
who wrote the lyrics?
799
00:59:59,251 --> 01:00:00,619
JT LeRoy.
800
01:00:00,652 --> 01:00:03,422
Who wrote the melodies?
JT LeRoy.
801
01:00:03,455 --> 01:00:05,657
Who sang it? Speedie.
802
01:00:35,654 --> 01:00:39,025
And Speedie actually morphs into
a new character.
803
01:00:39,058 --> 01:00:44,430
Instead of being JT's handler,
fat, hiding in the background,
804
01:00:44,463 --> 01:00:49,135
now I am Emily Frasier,
lead singer of Thistle,
805
01:00:49,168 --> 01:00:52,204
and we appear at
all of JT's readings.
806
01:01:12,458 --> 01:01:14,360
Albert:
I'm on stage singing...
807
01:01:14,393 --> 01:01:18,030
Me, Speedie, now Emily Frasier.
808
01:01:18,064 --> 01:01:22,168
And next to me playing guitar,
is Geoff, my partner,
809
01:01:22,201 --> 01:01:27,606
Savannah's brother, Astor...
Terminator's former lover.
810
01:01:27,639 --> 01:01:30,376
And then, dancing in front of us
in the audience
811
01:01:30,409 --> 01:01:33,612
is Savannah, my son's aunt...
JT LeRoy.
812
01:01:33,645 --> 01:01:36,548
So the levels of it are absurd.
813
01:01:59,805 --> 01:02:03,109
Albert: For the release
of JT Leroy's third book,
814
01:02:03,142 --> 01:02:04,443
"Harold's End,"
815
01:02:04,476 --> 01:02:07,413
the Deitch Gallery
is hosting a mega event.
816
01:02:09,681 --> 01:02:13,419
Lou Reed is onstage,
bringing Natoma Street to life.
817
01:02:13,452 --> 01:02:15,821
He crosses his legs.
818
01:02:15,854 --> 01:02:17,456
"18," I say.
819
01:02:17,489 --> 01:02:22,361
Albert: And everybody's
trying to have a moment with JT.
820
01:02:22,394 --> 01:02:24,330
I go over to the balcony,
821
01:02:24,363 --> 01:02:27,466
and I look down at
the throngs of people.
822
01:02:27,499 --> 01:02:29,435
And I see my dad.
823
01:02:29,468 --> 01:02:31,270
I'd invited him.
824
01:02:31,303 --> 01:02:33,539
And he's just laughing.
825
01:02:35,207 --> 01:02:38,177
And it's a moment of pride.
826
01:02:38,544 --> 01:02:40,679
He's seen me hospitalized.
827
01:02:40,712 --> 01:02:44,416
He had to sign his
rights away as a parent.
828
01:02:44,450 --> 01:02:48,187
And this feels like
a really nice gift.
829
01:02:48,687 --> 01:02:52,124
He can't tell anyone,
but he knows.
830
01:02:53,159 --> 01:02:54,293
And that's all that matters.
831
01:02:59,598 --> 01:03:03,435
LeRoy: I showed just
enough to make them interested
832
01:03:03,469 --> 01:03:07,173
in who this mysterious girl
could be.
833
01:03:08,707 --> 01:03:12,578
I convinced myself
I was a comic book hero...
834
01:03:14,246 --> 01:03:17,149
hiding in the shadows.
835
01:03:17,183 --> 01:03:19,385
I want to say something,
836
01:03:19,418 --> 01:03:22,554
something that will
explain everything.
837
01:03:22,588 --> 01:03:26,158
But my eyes stay down.
838
01:03:29,795 --> 01:03:33,665
♪ Disarm you with a smile
839
01:03:33,699 --> 01:03:37,436
♪ And cut you like
you want me to ♪
840
01:03:37,469 --> 01:03:40,172
♪ Cut that little child
841
01:03:40,206 --> 01:03:42,308
Albert: I really loved
the Smashing Pumpkins,
842
01:03:42,341 --> 01:03:46,412
and no male artists at the time
were talking about child abuse.
843
01:03:46,445 --> 01:03:48,614
So I really had hoped one day
844
01:03:48,647 --> 01:03:51,750
that JT would have
an opportunity
845
01:03:51,783 --> 01:03:52,783
to talk to Billy.
846
01:04:17,376 --> 01:04:21,347
So later that night,
there's a show... Spaceland.
847
01:04:21,380 --> 01:04:23,482
We get there, and the door
people say, "Where's JT?"
848
01:04:23,515 --> 01:04:27,253
And I say, "Oh, you know,
he's already in there.
849
01:04:27,286 --> 01:04:29,421
He's all back in the crowd,
850
01:04:29,455 --> 01:04:31,557
so, you know,
he'll meet Billy after."
851
01:04:31,590 --> 01:04:35,261
I've got this red hair,
and I've lost weight,
852
01:04:35,294 --> 01:04:39,298
and I'm feeling
maybe even a little pretty.
853
01:04:43,602 --> 01:04:45,737
And it's just amazing.
854
01:04:45,771 --> 01:04:48,907
I'm right... right out front
in this small little club.
855
01:04:54,012 --> 01:04:58,450
And it... it feels like
he's... he's looking at me.
856
01:05:03,589 --> 01:05:06,425
So after the show,
we go backstage,
857
01:05:06,458 --> 01:05:07,759
and I'm really nervous.
858
01:05:07,793 --> 01:05:09,695
Billy's sitting there
in the back,
859
01:05:09,728 --> 01:05:11,497
and he asks me, where's JT?
860
01:05:11,897 --> 01:05:15,834
And I explain, "I'm Speedie.
Hi, nice to meet you."
861
01:05:15,867 --> 01:05:19,305
JT, he got really...
862
01:05:19,338 --> 01:05:21,707
You know, he ran away, sorry."
863
01:05:21,740 --> 01:05:24,376
And we just start talking,
864
01:05:24,410 --> 01:05:26,845
and we're connecting in ways
865
01:05:26,878 --> 01:05:32,451
that... language doesn't
even capture.
866
01:05:32,484 --> 01:05:39,358
And I'm picking up
that I can tell him anything...
867
01:05:39,991 --> 01:05:43,629
and I realized everything
had been moving me
868
01:05:43,662 --> 01:05:45,764
up to that point.
869
01:05:46,865 --> 01:05:49,535
And he motioned for me
to sit down next to him,
870
01:05:49,568 --> 01:05:54,039
and you can barely
hear each other,
871
01:05:54,072 --> 01:05:58,710
but I turned to him
and into his ear, I said...
872
01:06:01,780 --> 01:06:03,549
I remember this feeling.
873
01:06:03,582 --> 01:06:05,083
It felt like I was Tarzan,
874
01:06:05,116 --> 01:06:08,019
and I was just grabbing
hold of the vine,
875
01:06:08,053 --> 01:06:11,623
and I was swinging
out over the gorge,
876
01:06:11,657 --> 01:06:15,026
and I knew,
"I'm going to fucking let go."
877
01:06:16,662 --> 01:06:22,534
Albert: And I said to him,
"JT was an accident."
878
01:06:24,736 --> 01:06:27,906
And he said, "I understand
what you're saying.
879
01:06:27,939 --> 01:06:31,343
I don't get all the details,
but I get it."
880
01:06:31,377 --> 01:06:32,511
And the rest of the night,
881
01:06:32,544 --> 01:06:33,912
we just talked about
the details.
882
01:06:33,945 --> 01:06:41,086
It was the most freeing,
amazing feeling ever,
883
01:06:41,119 --> 01:06:44,322
and we were together constantly.
884
01:06:44,990 --> 01:06:50,128
Even Geoff was with us,
and Billy was his hero, too.
885
01:07:17,723 --> 01:07:19,401
Laura Albert:
We were at the Chateau Marmont
886
01:07:19,425 --> 01:07:22,928
and Geoff was downstairs hanging
out with the rest of the band,
887
01:07:22,961 --> 01:07:25,864
and I was in Billy's room.
888
01:07:25,897 --> 01:07:30,469
And it was amazing
to lay with my ear on his chest
889
01:07:30,502 --> 01:07:33,539
as he played and sang.
890
01:07:33,572 --> 01:07:39,578
I was coming alive on all kinds
of different levels.
891
01:07:39,611 --> 01:07:40,779
And finally,
892
01:07:40,812 --> 01:07:42,781
I don't know
what time in the morning,
893
01:07:42,814 --> 01:07:44,015
Geoff knocked on the door.
894
01:07:46,918 --> 01:07:50,188
And he said,
"I'm here for my wife."
895
01:07:51,723 --> 01:07:55,427
But who really wasn't happy
was JT LeRoy.
896
01:07:55,461 --> 01:07:58,997
JT was really pissed
and he felt like, "Oh, great.
897
01:07:59,030 --> 01:08:02,568
Laura is going to steal him
away."
898
01:08:02,601 --> 01:08:04,102
I outed myself to Billy
899
01:08:04,135 --> 01:08:07,806
but that doesn't mean
their relationship ends.
900
01:08:08,874 --> 01:08:13,011
So I told him JT is not happy.
901
01:08:13,044 --> 01:08:17,649
JT still wants a relationship
with you.
902
01:08:17,683 --> 01:08:19,818
And this is something
I have never done.
903
01:08:19,851 --> 01:08:23,088
While I'm there with Billy,
904
01:08:23,121 --> 01:08:25,957
physically with him,
905
01:08:25,991 --> 01:08:30,929
JT in my body, spoke to him.
906
01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:40,606
Now you're gonna leave me
907
01:08:40,639 --> 01:08:43,742
and I don't want you
to leave me.
908
01:08:45,711 --> 01:08:51,683
And Billy assured him
that that was not true.
909
01:08:52,918 --> 01:08:56,555
That he could be there for me,
910
01:08:56,588 --> 01:08:59,157
he could be there for JT,
911
01:08:59,190 --> 01:09:03,094
and for anybody else
that came through this body.
912
01:09:06,765 --> 01:09:11,136
So "The Heart Is Deceitful"
is being made by Asia Argento.
913
01:09:11,169 --> 01:09:12,237
It's a go.
914
01:09:12,270 --> 01:09:14,606
So we fly into Knoxville.
915
01:09:16,241 --> 01:09:18,744
And we drive to the set,
916
01:09:18,777 --> 01:09:21,212
and it's an actual truck stop
917
01:09:21,246 --> 01:09:26,852
and I've never been
on a real working truck stop.
918
01:09:26,885 --> 01:09:29,755
And I'm walking
down a long corridor,
919
01:09:29,788 --> 01:09:33,158
and all the sleeping trucks
are on the sides
920
01:09:33,191 --> 01:09:36,094
and it's absolutely
picture perfect.
921
01:09:36,127 --> 01:09:41,833
They wanted to make every part
of the book true to life.
922
01:09:41,867 --> 01:09:44,302
And they're shooting
one of my favorite scenes,
923
01:09:44,335 --> 01:09:50,108
it's lizards, where Asia is
playing Sarah, Jeremy's mother,
924
01:09:50,141 --> 01:09:53,912
and she's gonna
go turn some tricks.
925
01:09:53,945 --> 01:09:57,082
So I join the set
and nobody knows I'm there.
926
01:09:57,115 --> 01:09:59,651
And I'm watching on the monitor,
927
01:09:59,685 --> 01:10:01,687
and Asia, this Italian actress,
928
01:10:01,720 --> 01:10:05,657
is playing a West Virginian
truck stop prostitute.
929
01:10:05,691 --> 01:10:08,126
And somehow it fucking works.
930
01:10:08,159 --> 01:10:10,929
It was like a mirror
in a mirror in a mirror
931
01:10:10,962 --> 01:10:14,600
because everything
was created from my dream,
932
01:10:14,633 --> 01:10:16,935
which was based on reality.
933
01:10:16,968 --> 01:10:19,905
Which was based on a dream.
934
01:10:21,773 --> 01:10:25,010
- And cut.
- Cut.
935
01:10:25,043 --> 01:10:28,614
Laura Albert: And everyone's
waiting to see what's gonna happen
936
01:10:28,647 --> 01:10:32,317
when JT sees his world.
937
01:10:32,350 --> 01:10:34,152
And I feel it, too.
938
01:10:34,185 --> 01:10:38,790
And I'm watching JT
taking it all in.
939
01:10:38,824 --> 01:10:41,893
And I'm like,
"It's pretty good right?
940
01:10:41,927 --> 01:10:43,862
They kind of got it?"
941
01:10:43,895 --> 01:10:48,600
And JT is like, "Wow.
942
01:10:48,634 --> 01:10:53,204
You guys really made it real."
943
01:12:16,855 --> 01:12:19,124
Astor: Hey doll,
how you doing?
944
01:12:26,898 --> 01:12:28,166
Speedie: More coffee, babe?
945
01:14:02,327 --> 01:14:04,229
Laura Albert:
We get there at night
946
01:14:04,262 --> 01:14:05,931
and descend down into Cannes,
947
01:14:05,964 --> 01:14:09,234
which to me looked like Miami.
948
01:14:09,267 --> 01:14:12,003
We're introduced
to all these celebrities
949
01:14:12,037 --> 01:14:16,507
and they know who JT is.
950
01:14:39,564 --> 01:14:42,868
Laura Albert: They're having
this huge press interview.
951
01:14:42,901 --> 01:14:44,402
Reporter: Question for JT.
952
01:14:44,435 --> 01:14:46,972
Laura Albert: They're asking
what's like to be on the street,
953
01:14:47,005 --> 01:14:48,139
to turn tricks,
954
01:14:48,173 --> 01:14:50,308
what it's like
to dig coal mines.
955
01:14:53,211 --> 01:14:55,022
Reporter: Can you talk
close to the microphone?
956
01:14:55,046 --> 01:14:58,216
JT LeRoy: Yeah. Laura Albert:
Nobody can understand what he says.
957
01:14:58,249 --> 01:15:00,551
It doesn't matter
if they can't translate it,
958
01:15:00,585 --> 01:15:01,887
they are just riveted.
959
01:15:04,422 --> 01:15:07,625
Laura Albert: And I realize
that it's like Mark Twain's
960
01:15:07,658 --> 01:15:09,360
"Prince and the Pauper."
961
01:15:09,394 --> 01:15:14,032
I could try to prove
that I am really the writer...
962
01:15:14,065 --> 01:15:16,167
I am LeRoy,
963
01:15:16,201 --> 01:15:20,071
the real king...
964
01:15:20,105 --> 01:15:22,440
And no one would believe me.
965
01:15:22,473 --> 01:15:27,478
I was there
watching JT get dressed up,
966
01:15:27,512 --> 01:15:29,915
and they are gonna walk
the red carpet,
967
01:15:29,948 --> 01:15:32,583
and I'm a mile away.
968
01:15:32,617 --> 01:15:36,054
I'm not even allowed
on the perimeter.
969
01:15:36,087 --> 01:15:37,455
Man: We should get going.
970
01:15:37,488 --> 01:15:42,460
If you see Speedie go,
then we waited too long.
971
01:15:42,493 --> 01:15:44,629
Laura Albert: This
is the big screening.
972
01:15:44,662 --> 01:15:45,897
Everyone is in the house.
973
01:15:45,931 --> 01:15:47,398
We've got the Weinsteins.
974
01:15:49,500 --> 01:15:54,172
Laura Albert: And it feels like
the whole world is watching.
975
01:15:55,506 --> 01:15:58,476
Laura Albert: So, we go
into the packed Cannes cinema
976
01:15:58,509 --> 01:16:02,914
and every head turns,
they've spotted JT.
977
01:16:07,052 --> 01:16:10,255
Laura Albert: I'm sitting
there and the crowd is roaring.
978
01:16:20,131 --> 01:16:22,000
Laura Albert:
So the lights go down,
979
01:16:22,033 --> 01:16:23,969
the curtain goes up,
980
01:16:24,002 --> 01:16:26,471
and the film begins.
981
01:16:26,504 --> 01:16:30,275
There's young Jimmy Bennet
singing the Sex Pistol's,
982
01:16:30,308 --> 01:16:32,143
slamming down a Bible.
983
01:16:44,389 --> 01:16:46,724
And then a meth house explosion.
984
01:16:46,757 --> 01:16:48,626
Buddy running out on fire
985
01:16:48,659 --> 01:16:51,062
as he chases
after Sarah and Jeremy
986
01:16:51,096 --> 01:16:53,231
as they drive away from him.
987
01:16:56,534 --> 01:17:00,338
And that amazing scene where
Asia, playing JT's mother,
988
01:17:00,371 --> 01:17:04,442
is accused outside Piggly Wiggly
of shoplifting,
989
01:17:04,475 --> 01:17:06,411
and opens her black rain coat
990
01:17:06,444 --> 01:17:10,281
to reveal herself
completely stark fucking naked.
991
01:17:10,315 --> 01:17:11,682
Film Clip:
Wanna check my cunt?
992
01:17:11,716 --> 01:17:13,218
- Film Clip: No, I don't.
- Now leave.
993
01:17:13,251 --> 01:17:14,485
She gonna be all right?
994
01:17:14,519 --> 01:17:16,421
Film Clip: She's tired.
She'll be okay.
995
01:17:16,454 --> 01:17:18,756
Laura Albert: And I'm sitting
there, watching our movie,
996
01:17:18,789 --> 01:17:21,359
waiting for our cameos,
997
01:17:21,392 --> 01:17:25,196
and all of them are left
on the cutting room floor.
998
01:17:27,465 --> 01:17:33,104
And after,
there's just this silence.
999
01:17:33,138 --> 01:17:36,341
Except JT is sobbing.
1000
01:17:36,374 --> 01:17:39,777
And I know I need to comfort JT.
1001
01:17:44,715 --> 01:17:47,718
Laura Albert: It wasn't a game,
this wasn't a joke.
1002
01:17:49,420 --> 01:17:55,060
Laura Albert: We know it
as JT's true story life.
1003
01:17:55,093 --> 01:17:59,330
But we also know it as fiction.
1004
01:18:16,247 --> 01:18:20,085
Laura Albert: I was watching
this HBO show "Deadwood."
1005
01:18:20,118 --> 01:18:23,721
And this voice in my head keeps
getting louder and louder.
1006
01:18:23,754 --> 01:18:25,223
Go to Deadwood.
1007
01:18:25,256 --> 01:18:28,159
Go to Deadwood.
Go to Deadwood.
1008
01:18:30,628 --> 01:18:33,664
So as JT, I call the magazine
and I ask them
1009
01:18:33,698 --> 01:18:37,368
"Hey, can I cover 'Deadwood'
for you?
1010
01:18:37,402 --> 01:18:40,838
And they say, all right JT,
anything you want.
1011
01:20:21,672 --> 01:20:27,312
Laura Albert: I just felt
the realm of possibility
1012
01:20:27,345 --> 01:20:31,216
of being inside myself
as an artist
1013
01:20:31,249 --> 01:20:36,554
and owning my own art
suddenly materialized.
1014
01:20:41,726 --> 01:20:44,495
One of the great
things about the group home,
1015
01:20:44,529 --> 01:20:47,232
is they encouraged us
to go to college.
1016
01:20:49,300 --> 01:20:53,671
So I got accepted into
Eugene Lang Seminar College,
1017
01:20:53,704 --> 01:20:55,340
which is part of the New School.
1018
01:20:55,373 --> 01:20:56,674
And I loved it.
1019
01:20:56,707 --> 01:21:00,745
I took every writing class
I could get my hands on.
1020
01:21:00,778 --> 01:21:04,715
Even when I was a little girl
I was writing all the time.
1021
01:21:04,749 --> 01:21:06,717
The first time I got published
1022
01:21:06,751 --> 01:21:08,753
I was about seven,
eight years old.
1023
01:21:08,786 --> 01:21:10,688
I had written a story for school
1024
01:21:10,721 --> 01:21:13,758
and it was called "The Flower
That Grew Overnight."
1025
01:21:13,791 --> 01:21:17,628
And I used a male protagonist
1026
01:21:17,662 --> 01:21:20,331
and I was hooked,
I was addicted.
1027
01:21:20,365 --> 01:21:22,633
It was the most amazing
feeling in the world.
1028
01:21:26,571 --> 01:21:28,439
In these writing classes,
1029
01:21:28,473 --> 01:21:31,476
being able to tell
a really good story,
1030
01:21:31,509 --> 01:21:34,645
I got the teacher's attention.
1031
01:21:37,615 --> 01:21:40,618
Laura Albert:
I got the class's attention,
1032
01:21:40,651 --> 01:21:44,789
but I had a writing teacher
and she was very strict
1033
01:21:44,822 --> 01:21:47,758
about girls writing as girls
and boys as boys.
1034
01:21:47,792 --> 01:21:50,928
And I told her, I need to write
in a male voice,
1035
01:21:50,961 --> 01:21:53,698
but she wouldn't let me.
1036
01:21:53,731 --> 01:21:55,633
And I submitted this story
1037
01:21:55,666 --> 01:21:58,303
dealing with some
pretty hardcore abuse.
1038
01:21:58,336 --> 01:22:03,408
Physical abuse, sexual abuse
in a female voice
1039
01:22:03,441 --> 01:22:06,977
and it was killing me.
1040
01:22:07,011 --> 01:22:11,849
And I flipped out,
I had a breakdown.
1041
01:22:11,882 --> 01:22:14,819
I didn't want to have anything
to do with writing anymore.
1042
01:22:14,852 --> 01:22:16,421
I just didn't want to do it.
1043
01:22:16,454 --> 01:22:18,255
I couldn't do it.
1044
01:22:20,758 --> 01:22:22,627
Man: Rolling!
1045
01:22:27,698 --> 01:22:29,967
Laura Albert: I'm sitting
outside the writer's room
1046
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:31,936
and I get a phone call
from a reporter.
1047
01:24:00,525 --> 01:24:03,428
Laura Albert: I felt scared.
1048
01:24:03,461 --> 01:24:07,532
Someone was tugging pretty
hard at the curtain,
1049
01:24:07,565 --> 01:24:10,668
and I didn't know
how to shut it down.
1050
01:24:10,701 --> 01:24:14,071
So I called Geoff,
and he says to me...
1051
01:24:20,177 --> 01:24:21,579
Laura Albert: Like Pynchon?
1052
01:24:21,612 --> 01:24:22,980
Nobody knows who he is.
1053
01:24:23,013 --> 01:24:27,151
Like Salinger, he was out there,
and now he's disappeared.
1054
01:24:27,184 --> 01:24:29,053
Just pull the plug.
1055
01:24:29,086 --> 01:24:32,423
It's probably
what a sane person would do
1056
01:24:32,457 --> 01:24:35,560
if this was a sane situation.
1057
01:24:35,593 --> 01:24:37,662
But I couldn't do it.
1058
01:24:37,695 --> 01:24:41,766
I'd tell him,
I'm just going forward.
1059
01:25:15,666 --> 01:25:21,539
Laura Albert: I was in San Francisco
when the New York Magazine article hit.
1060
01:25:21,572 --> 01:25:23,517
Madeleine Brand: This is Day
to Day, I'm Madeleine Brand.
1061
01:25:23,541 --> 01:25:25,042
Writer JT LeRoy has been
1062
01:25:25,075 --> 01:25:27,578
a literally it boy
for the last decade
1063
01:25:27,612 --> 01:25:32,116
but, it turns out, he may not be
a he, and may not even exist.
1064
01:25:32,149 --> 01:25:35,152
Here, with more on this more
bizarre story is Stephen Beachy.
1065
01:25:35,185 --> 01:25:37,588
He recently wrote
Who is the Real JT LeRoy?
1066
01:25:37,622 --> 01:25:38,923
For New York Magazine
1067
01:25:38,956 --> 01:25:40,100
and Steven Beachy,
welcome to the show.
1068
01:25:40,124 --> 01:25:41,926
Stephen Beachy:
Thanks, Madeleine.
1069
01:25:41,959 --> 01:25:43,169
Madeleine Brand:
You did your own detective work,
1070
01:25:43,193 --> 01:25:44,562
and what did you find?
1071
01:25:44,595 --> 01:25:47,231
Stephen Beachy: This all began
this spring, when I heard a story
1072
01:25:47,264 --> 01:25:51,536
of a woman named Laura Albert
and a man named Geoff Knoop.
1073
01:25:51,569 --> 01:25:57,241
That they were in fact behind
the whole JT Leroy hoax.
1074
01:26:34,879 --> 01:26:36,881
Laura Albert:
After the article came out,
1075
01:26:36,914 --> 01:26:40,618
JT goes into
full-on offense mode.
1076
01:26:40,651 --> 01:26:44,689
He's calling all the people that
are intimate in the JT circle
1077
01:26:44,722 --> 01:26:47,592
and saying
this is fucking bullshit.
1078
01:26:47,625 --> 01:26:48,859
This is a take down.
1079
01:26:48,893 --> 01:26:51,128
This is just vendetta.
1080
01:26:51,161 --> 01:26:54,098
JT is gonna do whatever
it takes to stay alive.
1081
01:26:54,131 --> 01:26:56,634
For him it's like Tinkerbell.
1082
01:26:56,667 --> 01:27:01,338
If you don't believe,
the magic can't fucking happen.
1083
01:27:39,777 --> 01:27:42,146
Laura Albert: One day, I'm
sitting at my desk writing,
1084
01:27:42,179 --> 01:27:45,683
and suddenly, Geoff bursts in,
white as a ghost,
1085
01:27:45,716 --> 01:27:49,787
and he tells me, I just got
a call from Warren St. John,
1086
01:27:49,820 --> 01:27:50,955
from the New York Times,
1087
01:27:50,988 --> 01:27:53,057
and he says he knows everything.
1088
01:27:53,090 --> 01:27:55,993
And they say
what did you tell him?
1089
01:28:03,233 --> 01:28:05,002
Geoff Knoop:
Friends and family
1090
01:28:05,035 --> 01:28:08,105
are starting to get calls
from the New York Times.
1091
01:28:32,029 --> 01:28:35,099
Message erased
1092
01:28:35,132 --> 01:28:38,168
Laura Albert: San Francisco
was way too fucking hot.
1093
01:28:38,202 --> 01:28:42,039
So I went back down to Deadwood.
1094
01:28:42,072 --> 01:28:46,143
I'm panicking,
because I see the cliff.
1095
01:28:46,176 --> 01:28:52,082
I see the ground
breaking beneath me.
1096
01:30:26,476 --> 01:30:29,046
Laura Albert: I'm standing
on the set with Billy
1097
01:30:29,079 --> 01:30:30,380
and my cellphone rings,
1098
01:30:30,414 --> 01:30:33,550
and it's Warren St. John.
1099
01:30:33,583 --> 01:30:38,288
He says to me, I'm gonna get you
for violating the Patriot Act,
1100
01:30:38,322 --> 01:30:42,492
and I definitely got you
on mail fraud.
1101
01:30:42,526 --> 01:30:46,130
JT LeRoy:
And as JT I'm begging him...
1102
01:30:49,399 --> 01:30:53,437
Laura Albert: And I know that
the story is about to be broken.
1103
01:30:53,470 --> 01:30:58,876
There is a huge tornado
that's about to hit.
1104
01:32:10,614 --> 01:32:13,050
News Clip: Cellphones
are said to be part of a ruse
1105
01:32:13,083 --> 01:32:15,052
perpetrated by JT LeRoy,
1106
01:32:15,085 --> 01:32:17,021
a San Francisco-based
cult novelist
1107
01:32:17,054 --> 01:32:19,957
who's not only accused of making
up the sad and sordid past
1108
01:32:19,990 --> 01:32:21,258
he writes about,
1109
01:32:21,291 --> 01:32:23,627
but being a wholly made-up
person himself.
1110
01:32:23,660 --> 01:32:26,330
Just this week the New York
Times published evidence
1111
01:32:26,363 --> 01:32:28,098
that the person
who writes as JT,
1112
01:32:28,132 --> 01:32:30,634
a 25-year-old former male hooker
and drug addict,
1113
01:32:30,667 --> 01:32:32,970
is actually a 40-year-old mother
from Brooklyn.
1114
01:32:33,003 --> 01:32:36,073
And that the person who makes
public appearances as JT,
1115
01:32:36,106 --> 01:32:40,310
is that woman's sister-in-law
in a wig and sunglasses.
1116
01:32:40,344 --> 01:32:42,012
Laura Albert:
What the article had
1117
01:32:42,046 --> 01:32:46,350
was a piece of the jigsaw puzzle
that nobody had found before.
1118
01:32:46,383 --> 01:32:49,219
A photo of Savannah.
1119
01:32:49,253 --> 01:32:53,223
With no wig, no hat,
no sunglasses.
1120
01:32:53,257 --> 01:32:58,495
It's all her,
and it's the smoking gun.
1121
01:32:58,528 --> 01:33:00,697
I feel...
1122
01:33:00,730 --> 01:33:04,568
such a sense of shame
1123
01:33:04,601 --> 01:33:11,408
because JT really asked people
to go to bat for him
1124
01:33:11,441 --> 01:33:15,679
and say that
of course he's real and now...
1125
01:33:18,983 --> 01:33:22,119
they look stupid.
1126
01:33:22,152 --> 01:33:24,321
They look silly.
1127
01:33:24,354 --> 01:33:26,590
They look like
they've been punked.
1128
01:33:26,623 --> 01:33:33,130
The media is telling them
that they are an idiot.
1129
01:33:33,163 --> 01:33:36,967
How do I even begin?
1130
01:34:22,246 --> 01:34:23,547
Message erased.
1131
01:34:38,095 --> 01:34:39,895
Laura Albert:
I had reporters ringing my bell.
1132
01:34:41,098 --> 01:34:42,199
Savannah came over,
1133
01:34:42,232 --> 01:34:43,633
and we were huddled in the house
1134
01:34:43,667 --> 01:34:46,736
and we were trying to figure out
how to get her home.
1135
01:35:00,150 --> 01:35:01,751
To exit message...
1136
01:35:01,785 --> 01:35:03,653
Laura Albert:
I went to David Milch,
1137
01:35:03,687 --> 01:35:08,525
and all I can think
is I need him to rescue me.
1138
01:35:41,558 --> 01:35:44,261
Laura Albert:
Because JT spent many hours
1139
01:35:44,294 --> 01:35:46,696
over many years
being his friend,
1140
01:35:46,730 --> 01:35:50,434
I called up Gus.
1141
01:36:19,696 --> 01:36:23,700
JT LeRoy: I hear them calling
me by every name of Satan.
1142
01:36:23,733 --> 01:36:26,170
But I don't move.
1143
01:36:26,203 --> 01:36:27,904
I stay hidden, and peek out
1144
01:36:27,937 --> 01:36:31,808
to see the mob
carrying their torches ablaze.
1145
01:36:31,841 --> 01:36:34,311
Oh, God.
1146
01:36:34,344 --> 01:36:38,248
Oh, my... God!
1147
01:36:51,761 --> 01:36:53,530
Laura Albert:
At the time of the reveal,
1148
01:36:53,563 --> 01:36:56,666
I was accused
of using AIDS to sell books.
1149
01:37:26,796 --> 01:37:29,633
Laura Albert: When Courtney Love
finds out that I'm JT
1150
01:37:29,666 --> 01:37:32,236
she says, "That's fantastic.
1151
01:37:32,269 --> 01:37:35,572
I will take you on Oprah Winfrey
and you will cry.
1152
01:37:35,605 --> 01:37:39,175
America loves redemption."
1153
01:37:59,363 --> 01:38:02,866
Laura Albert: I spoke
to Billy and he said to me,
1154
01:38:02,899 --> 01:38:05,702
"You can't stand up
in a tsunami."
1155
01:38:35,865 --> 01:38:38,602
Savannah and I were determined
not to break rank.
1156
01:38:38,635 --> 01:38:40,770
We just weren't going
to the media,
1157
01:38:40,804 --> 01:38:42,839
we were shutting the fuck up.
1158
01:38:42,872 --> 01:38:45,809
Even with the photos of her
out there,
1159
01:38:45,842 --> 01:38:49,579
they still couldn't
absolutely prove it.
1160
01:38:49,613 --> 01:38:51,481
But Geoff,
1161
01:38:51,515 --> 01:38:52,916
Savannah's brother,
1162
01:38:52,949 --> 01:38:57,921
my partner of almost 18 years,
he breaks rank.
1163
01:39:20,577 --> 01:39:24,481
Laura Albert: Jeff went
to the New York Times.
1164
01:39:24,514 --> 01:39:26,750
He held up the surrender flag.
1165
01:39:26,783 --> 01:39:30,587
And he told them
that, yeah, it was me.
1166
01:39:30,620 --> 01:39:32,021
I wrote the books.
1167
01:39:32,055 --> 01:39:36,660
And he puts the final nail
in JT LeRoy's coffin.
1168
01:40:04,921 --> 01:40:07,457
All the headlines
are saying hoax,
1169
01:40:07,491 --> 01:40:09,993
literary hoax,
1170
01:40:10,026 --> 01:40:13,930
the biggest literary hoax
of our time.
1171
01:40:13,963 --> 01:40:19,035
But the thing about that
language of what it's saying
1172
01:40:19,068 --> 01:40:21,371
is the books aren't real.
1173
01:40:21,405 --> 01:40:24,574
That all that work...
1174
01:40:28,645 --> 01:40:31,381
is a joke.
1175
01:40:31,415 --> 01:40:34,418
Director: What made people
actually believe
1176
01:40:34,451 --> 01:40:36,085
that you were the writer?
1177
01:40:41,591 --> 01:40:44,828
Savannah Knoop: I think people
believed I was the writer
1178
01:40:44,861 --> 01:40:47,831
because I said I was the writer.
1179
01:40:47,864 --> 01:40:49,999
I mean,
that's what it boils down to,
1180
01:40:50,033 --> 01:40:54,704
belief is based
on this kind of contract
1181
01:40:54,738 --> 01:40:58,842
around what you say you do
1182
01:40:58,875 --> 01:41:04,113
and then you assume
that's what you do.
1183
01:41:20,897 --> 01:41:24,133
Laura Albert: Asia called me
1184
01:41:24,167 --> 01:41:28,104
and it's her first time
talking to me.
1185
01:42:10,947 --> 01:42:12,616
What's being thrown out there
1186
01:42:12,649 --> 01:42:15,084
is multiple personality
disorder.
1187
01:42:15,118 --> 01:42:17,153
But that ain't it.
1188
01:42:17,186 --> 01:42:18,855
I am pulling the switch.
1189
01:42:18,888 --> 01:42:23,059
I am making the decision
to go to a different rail.
1190
01:42:23,092 --> 01:42:24,828
I don't know what the label is,
1191
01:42:24,861 --> 01:42:27,797
I don't know
what the classification is,
1192
01:42:27,831 --> 01:42:30,700
but I can tell you
one thing I know...
1193
01:42:30,734 --> 01:42:34,904
It is not a hoax.
1194
01:44:15,071 --> 01:44:17,306
If you bought a book,
1195
01:44:17,340 --> 01:44:22,779
if you feel upset because I was
15 years older than JT,
1196
01:44:22,812 --> 01:44:25,381
or that I'm a woman
and not a boy,
1197
01:44:25,414 --> 01:44:27,651
I'm okay with that.
1198
01:44:27,684 --> 01:44:33,256
The book says clearly,
on the jacket, fiction.
1199
01:44:33,289 --> 01:44:37,761
The rest is extra.
1200
01:44:40,096 --> 01:44:44,668
My dad grew up in Bushwick
really poor,
1201
01:44:44,701 --> 01:44:48,404
and he had a very close friend
that would babysit.
1202
01:44:48,437 --> 01:44:50,073
He was Uncle George to me,
1203
01:44:50,106 --> 01:44:53,376
I knew him
from when I was a baby.
1204
01:44:53,409 --> 01:44:57,714
He was just always there,
and he was family.
1205
01:45:04,220 --> 01:45:07,023
My parents
didn't really go out a lot,
1206
01:45:07,056 --> 01:45:11,094
so for them to go out at night
was a big deal.
1207
01:45:11,127 --> 01:45:16,065
But when I was 3, my mom
arranged for theater tickets,
1208
01:45:16,099 --> 01:45:20,136
and they left me with George.
1209
01:45:20,169 --> 01:45:23,106
And we played a game.
1210
01:45:23,139 --> 01:45:26,676
It's a very complex,
psychological game
1211
01:45:26,710 --> 01:45:32,115
of being a good girl
versus being a bad girl.
1212
01:45:32,148 --> 01:45:38,321
And he starts to touch me
and my body responds to that,
1213
01:45:38,354 --> 01:45:44,961
but that is proof
that I'm a bad girl.
1214
01:45:48,164 --> 01:45:53,436
He had a solution,
and that was to spank me.
1215
01:45:53,469 --> 01:45:57,240
But he also touched me
at the same time.
1216
01:45:57,273 --> 01:46:00,710
That's where everything just...
1217
01:46:00,744 --> 01:46:04,147
my wires crossed.
1218
01:46:04,180 --> 01:46:09,986
'Cause then pain
and sexual excitement
1219
01:46:10,019 --> 01:46:13,056
became intertwined.
1220
01:46:13,089 --> 01:46:16,125
And I'm not innocent in this.
1221
01:46:16,159 --> 01:46:17,426
My body responded.
1222
01:46:17,460 --> 01:46:21,397
It really excited me,
and it was horrible,
1223
01:46:21,430 --> 01:46:26,469
and something
was very, very broken in me.
1224
01:46:28,471 --> 01:46:31,107
I went to food for relief
1225
01:46:31,140 --> 01:46:34,010
because he definitely
preferred me thin.
1226
01:46:36,179 --> 01:46:39,448
At some point,
George just disappeared.
1227
01:46:39,482 --> 01:46:42,385
But the damage was done.
1228
01:46:42,418 --> 01:46:45,421
A child is
a delicately spinning top,
1229
01:46:45,454 --> 01:46:51,527
and it doesn't take much
to send the top off its course.
1230
01:47:39,943 --> 01:47:44,848
♪ It must be nice to disappear
1231
01:47:44,881 --> 01:47:49,919
♪ To have a vanishing act
1232
01:47:49,953 --> 01:47:55,258
♪ To always be looking forward
1233
01:47:57,326 --> 01:48:02,165
♪ And never looking back
1234
01:48:04,300 --> 01:48:11,140
♪ How nice it is to disappear
1235
01:48:11,174 --> 01:48:17,013
♪ Float into a mist
1236
01:48:17,046 --> 01:48:24,253
♪ With a young lady
on your arm ♪
1237
01:48:24,287 --> 01:48:28,958
♪ Looking for a kiss
1238
01:48:53,449 --> 01:48:59,055
♪ It must be nice to disappear
1239
01:48:59,088 --> 01:49:04,093
♪ To have a vanishing act
1240
01:49:04,127 --> 01:49:09,365
♪ To always be moving forward
1241
01:49:09,398 --> 01:49:14,337
♪ And never looking back
1242
01:49:14,370 --> 01:49:20,176
♪ How nice it is to disappear
1243
01:49:20,209 --> 01:49:25,448
♪ Float into a mist
1244
01:49:25,481 --> 01:49:30,954
♪ With a young lady
on your arm ♪
1245
01:49:30,987 --> 01:49:36,125
♪ Looking for a kiss
1246
01:49:40,997 --> 01:49:45,201
♪ Looking for a kiss
1247
01:49:50,139 --> 01:49:53,242
♪ Float into a mist
94829
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.