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1
00:01:56,242 --> 00:01:58,495
So he wants to cut it off,
just like that?
2
00:02:01,331 --> 00:02:03,333
He doesn't think
you can handle it.
3
00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:06,878
The arrangements
have been concluded.
4
00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:10,632
I gave them my word
because he gave me his word.
5
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:15,678
- So you tell me why.
- Hey, you know why.
6
00:02:17,889 --> 00:02:20,016
You're not strong anymore.
7
00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:23,186
You lost control.
8
00:02:25,814 --> 00:02:29,691
Now, you tell him this,
that nothing has changed.
9
00:02:29,692 --> 00:02:31,111
We've had a few setbacks.
10
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,779
That's to be expected
in any business.
11
00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:37,367
But I am still in charge,
and I am still strong.
12
00:02:38,493 --> 00:02:40,120
Make no mistake.
13
00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:43,623
You tell him he had
better keep his word.
14
00:02:44,457 --> 00:02:46,751
Tell him the 25th, as agreed.
15
00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:52,382
I'll send him a sign,
a little demonstration,
16
00:02:53,508 --> 00:02:55,844
to prove that I'm still strong.
17
00:03:38,094 --> 00:03:40,513
- Good afternoon, Mr. Douvier.
- Good afternoon, Simone.
18
00:03:46,603 --> 00:03:48,605
- Any calls?
- On your desk.
19
00:03:58,907 --> 00:04:00,490
What's this, "Dr. Herb called"?
20
00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:03,493
That's your yearly checkup.
Tuesday at 4:30.
21
00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:04,621
Okay.
22
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:08,540
- Is New York gonna call back?
- Mm-hmm. Between 5:00 and 6:00.
23
00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:09,667
Good.
24
00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:12,712
- Everybody else here?
- Yes, in the boardroom.
25
00:04:24,641 --> 00:04:27,435
Well, I don't think we should
keep them waiting any longer.
26
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:36,736
- Will I see you tonight?
- Of course, Miss Legree.
27
00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:53,378
Gentlemen, we have a problem.
28
00:04:54,212 --> 00:04:56,338
The Gannet transaction
is in jeopardy
29
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:57,714
because New York seems to feel
30
00:04:57,715 --> 00:05:01,261
I no longer have the power
to control the situation.
31
00:05:01,970 --> 00:05:04,721
So I have sent word
32
00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:08,768
that I will give them
a demonstration, a sign,
33
00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:13,022
to show that I
am still in control,
34
00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:16,943
that France is still
a viable territory.
35
00:05:18,111 --> 00:05:20,780
What I want from you
are suggestions.
36
00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:26,327
- I have an idea.
- All right.
37
00:05:26,536 --> 00:05:29,372
Would you ask your secretary
to bring in the morning paper?
38
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:33,793
Miss Legree, would you bring in
the morning paper, please?
39
00:05:34,002 --> 00:05:35,044
Right away, sir.
40
00:05:40,842 --> 00:05:43,593
Who is the most important man
in France today?
41
00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:45,846
Present company excluded,
of course.
42
00:05:45,847 --> 00:05:48,849
Thank you, Miss Legree.
Well, the President, I suppose.
43
00:05:48,850 --> 00:05:50,767
No, for our purpose.
44
00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:52,854
A man that New York knows
even better
45
00:05:53,062 --> 00:05:54,689
than the President of France.
46
00:05:55,148 --> 00:05:58,942
A man with which our entire
world organization is familiar,
47
00:05:58,943 --> 00:06:01,738
and would like nothing better
than to see him out of the way.
48
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,281
Who?
49
00:06:07,577 --> 00:06:11,330
Who has given us nothing but
trouble for the past 10 years?
50
00:06:11,331 --> 00:06:15,126
Who has survived
16 assassination attempts,
51
00:06:16,044 --> 00:06:18,379
including two by his own boss?
52
00:06:24,761 --> 00:06:25,678
Clouseau.
53
00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:28,222
You want to impress New York?
54
00:06:29,015 --> 00:06:30,390
Eliminate Clouseau.
55
00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:31,142
Eliminate Clouseau,
56
00:06:31,351 --> 00:06:33,685
and we'll have every cop in
France down on our necks.
57
00:06:33,686 --> 00:06:35,979
Not if we do it smart.
58
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:39,983
There is a rumor that he is
really a complete imbecile.
59
00:06:39,984 --> 00:06:41,110
I've heard that.
60
00:06:41,277 --> 00:06:43,653
Yet he continues to survive.
61
00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,198
I have it on good authority
62
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,617
that he is anything
but an imbecile.
63
00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:49,285
That he only plays the fool.
64
00:06:51,621 --> 00:06:54,457
In any case,
it is too dangerous.
65
00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:01,589
Can you do it smart?
66
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:03,800
Yes.
67
00:07:05,176 --> 00:07:06,344
Then do it.
68
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:23,786
Balls?
69
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:28,456
Inspector Clouseau!
My dear Chief Inspector Clouseau!
70
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:29,958
- Auguste.
- How we have missed you!
71
00:12:29,959 --> 00:12:31,835
How we have missed you!
72
00:12:31,836 --> 00:12:34,629
Your disguise is ready
for the final fitting.
73
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:36,089
- Excellent.
- I think you'll be very pleased.
74
00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:38,800
Cunny! Cunny! Quick, quick!
Inspector Clouseau is here!
75
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:41,428
I noticed you have
some very interesting new noses...
76
00:12:41,429 --> 00:12:43,304
I will model them for you,
of course.
77
00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:45,140
Cunny, get on with it.
Get on with it!
78
00:12:45,141 --> 00:12:47,600
- I will bring you one right away.
- Yes.
79
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,310
There were some
on the left there.
80
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:50,770
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Yes, yes.
81
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,313
Ah, the final fitting.
82
00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:56,068
I call this one Wino and Roses.
83
00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:06,119
- Magnificent.
- Yeah, yeah.
84
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,582
Even though I say so myself,
this is no small feat.
85
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:14,544
Now you can work the Left Bank
and Montmartre with anonymity.
86
00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:16,463
Yes, yes.
87
00:13:16,464 --> 00:13:19,258
The old anonymity ploy.
88
00:13:25,598 --> 00:13:29,726
That's it! That's it!
You can do it, Inspector!
89
00:13:29,727 --> 00:13:34,022
- Chief Inspector.
- You can walk, Chief Inspector!
90
00:13:34,023 --> 00:13:35,775
You can walk!
91
00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:40,654
Yes! Yes!
You are a genius, Balls!
92
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:45,326
I can! I can walk!
93
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:53,416
♪ Thank heavens ♪
94
00:13:53,417 --> 00:13:56,754
♪ For little girls ♪
95
00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:04,094
♪ They keep on getting
smaller every day ♪
96
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:07,597
♪ Thank heavens ♪
97
00:14:07,598 --> 00:14:11,477
♪ For little girls ♪
98
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:14,605
♪ They grow down
in the most... ♪
99
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:18,692
Yes?
100
00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,028
A special delivery.
101
00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:24,114
Thank you.
102
00:14:26,951 --> 00:14:29,411
I'm sorry. I'm a little short.
103
00:14:29,954 --> 00:14:31,121
Forget it.
104
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:45,469
Special delivery. A beumb.
Were you expecting one?
105
00:14:46,387 --> 00:14:47,847
A beumb?
106
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:07,449
Yes?
107
00:15:10,119 --> 00:15:11,203
What?
108
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:19,378
- Right.
- What's the matter?
109
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:25,134
Well, the bomb destroyed half the block,
and Clouseau survived.
110
00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:29,262
I am certain, sir,
that the beumb was intended for me.
111
00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:31,264
- "Beumb"?
- What?
112
00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:34,267
- You said "beumb".
- Yes, yes.
113
00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:37,478
Fortunately, Professor Balls
took refuge
114
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:40,440
behind a new shipment
of inflatable goiters,
115
00:15:40,441 --> 00:15:42,650
which cushioned the force
of the explosion.
116
00:15:42,651 --> 00:15:47,114
- Inflatable goiters?
- Yes, his Valentine's Day collection.
117
00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:52,619
- It's amazing that you survived.
- Yes, yes.
118
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:55,663
Yes, I must apprehend
this mad beumber
119
00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:58,499
before he does
any more of the damage in here.
120
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,877
- Or she.
- Or she?
121
00:16:00,878 --> 00:16:02,922
A man dressed as a woman.
122
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:10,345
"Four armed robberies
in three weeks.
123
00:16:10,346 --> 00:16:13,848
"Two of the victims were assaulted
and grappled with the robber.
124
00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:18,062
"Both the victims felt the robber
was much too strong to be a woman.
125
00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:23,024
"Three years ago, we sent to prison
a man named Claude Russo.
126
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:26,236
"Russo committed robberies
disguised as a woman."
127
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,696
Well, sir,
128
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:33,285
I must be off to apprehend
this-- this mad beumber now.
129
00:16:34,495 --> 00:16:37,580
Remember,
it just could be Russo.
130
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,416
Yes. It just
could be Russo, yes.
131
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:43,878
- Yes, I just said that.
- Yes, I know that. Yes, sir.
132
00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:47,925
Well, sir, until we meet again
and the case is solved.
133
00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:53,138
Au revoir, Hercule.
134
00:16:54,682 --> 00:16:55,975
Fire!
135
00:17:13,409 --> 00:17:15,494
You may not have seen
these gentlemen before,
136
00:17:15,786 --> 00:17:18,288
but they have, at one time or another,
worked for you.
137
00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:22,626
And, needless to say, they are specialists,
the best in France.
138
00:17:23,127 --> 00:17:25,503
And you expect them
to take care of Clouseau?
139
00:17:25,504 --> 00:17:26,963
Oh, no.
140
00:17:26,964 --> 00:17:29,424
They've been contracted
to eliminate Mr. Chong.
141
00:17:29,425 --> 00:17:31,135
Who the hell is Mr. Chong?
142
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:33,804
Mr. Chong.
143
00:17:38,017 --> 00:17:40,811
Mr. Chong was recommended
by Hong Kong.
144
00:17:48,694 --> 00:17:51,697
Gentlemen,
fulfill your contracts.
145
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,419
Why don't you get out
of those wet clothes?
146
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:31,546
You could catch pneumonia.
147
00:19:31,547 --> 00:19:35,133
Yes, I know that. I know that.
I will do as soon as I get home,
148
00:19:35,134 --> 00:19:38,177
provided that idiot Cato
does not attack me first.
149
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:40,138
Why don't you just
tell him not to?
150
00:19:40,139 --> 00:19:42,682
Believe me, it's not that easy.
151
00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:46,769
I have given him instructions to attack me
wherever and whenever possible,
152
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:51,566
and it has now become a matter of pride
with him to try to outsmart me.
153
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:55,695
I guarantee that at this very minute
his fiendish, little yellow brain
154
00:19:55,696 --> 00:19:57,948
is plotting some new ambush.
155
00:20:00,993 --> 00:20:04,496
- Gesundheit.
- Yes, I know that. I know that.
156
00:21:02,888 --> 00:21:04,056
Cato?
157
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:10,354
Cato?
158
00:21:15,067 --> 00:21:16,902
Cato!
159
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:31,124
Pay attention!
This is your employer speaking!
160
00:21:32,209 --> 00:21:36,462
I am canceling the attack orders
for tonight!
161
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:38,173
Do you understand?
162
00:21:38,966 --> 00:21:43,761
I know that I told you
to show no mercy,
163
00:21:43,762 --> 00:21:47,975
and to attack, and to pay
no attention to what I say.
164
00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:51,895
But tonight...
165
00:21:56,275 --> 00:21:57,651
But tonight,
166
00:21:58,652 --> 00:22:02,322
I am ordering you
to pay attention!
167
00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:08,870
You will not attack, Cato!
168
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:19,381
Shut up that row!
169
00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:22,342
I am trying to save my life,
madam!
170
00:22:30,309 --> 00:22:34,062
Obviously, the little yellow swine
is not paying attention.
171
00:23:13,185 --> 00:23:13,810
Ha!
172
00:24:22,754 --> 00:24:26,341
Aah!
173
00:24:30,137 --> 00:24:31,804
It's a very
substantial building.
174
00:24:31,805 --> 00:24:33,639
- We're doing a great deal to it.
- Yes.
175
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:34,641
I'm sure when it's finished,
176
00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:37,352
you'll find it very peaceful
and quite delightful.
177
00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:05,839
Swine!
178
00:25:07,799 --> 00:25:10,760
- Chief Inspector Clouseau's residence.
- Clouseau?
179
00:25:10,969 --> 00:25:12,554
One moment, please.
180
00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:14,639
For you.
181
00:25:28,612 --> 00:25:31,071
What on Earth is going on?
182
00:25:31,072 --> 00:25:33,909
Excuse me, madame and messieurs.
183
00:25:34,075 --> 00:25:37,912
- I beg your pardon. I am so sorry.
- It's still for you, Inspector.
184
00:25:37,913 --> 00:25:39,872
Chief Inspector.
185
00:25:39,873 --> 00:25:42,709
Pardon me.
I am needed on the phone.
186
00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:50,049
Hello?
187
00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:53,678
This is Chief Inspector Clouseau
speaking on the phone.
188
00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:57,181
Now listen to me carefully,
Clouseau.
189
00:25:57,182 --> 00:26:01,561
If you wanna catch the French Connection,
meet me tonight at 11:00
190
00:26:01,895 --> 00:26:05,023
in the Bois de Boulogne,
near the Grande Cascade.
191
00:26:05,565 --> 00:26:07,108
And come alone.
192
00:26:16,868 --> 00:26:19,663
That's so obvious.
He's bound to think it's a trap.
193
00:26:20,664 --> 00:26:25,001
Yes, or it's so obvious
that he's bound to think it can't be a trap.
194
00:26:25,961 --> 00:26:28,420
It's so obvious.
It's bound to be a trap.
195
00:26:28,421 --> 00:26:31,549
That is why you will never be
a great detective, Cato.
196
00:26:31,550 --> 00:26:34,927
It's so obvious.
It could not possibly be a trap.
197
00:26:34,928 --> 00:26:38,640
Now, Cato,
warm up the Silver Hornet.
198
00:27:04,165 --> 00:27:09,628
Cato, I very much suspect
that the Hornet is overdue for a service.
199
00:27:09,629 --> 00:27:12,799
So, if you don't mind,
I'll use your car tonight.
200
00:27:32,986 --> 00:27:36,448
He's driving a white Peugeot.
License number is...
201
00:27:57,177 --> 00:28:00,179
Oh, by any chance,
are you going to Fontainebleau?
202
00:28:00,180 --> 00:28:02,932
- Well, I...
- Wonderful!
203
00:28:05,352 --> 00:28:09,189
How lucky can a girl get?
You're an absolute darling.
204
00:28:12,734 --> 00:28:15,236
- It's green.
- It is?
205
00:28:16,029 --> 00:28:18,573
- The traffic light.
- Oh!
206
00:28:27,165 --> 00:28:30,542
You know, generally speaking,
it's dangerous
207
00:28:30,543 --> 00:28:34,046
for a beautiful girl like you
to be hitchhiking at night.
208
00:28:34,047 --> 00:28:35,381
I know.
209
00:28:35,382 --> 00:28:40,135
That's because, generally speaking,
beautiful girls like me don't carry guns.
210
00:28:40,136 --> 00:28:41,554
Yes, yes.
211
00:28:47,852 --> 00:28:51,690
Are you saying that
you carry a gun?
212
00:28:51,898 --> 00:28:52,816
Mm-hmm.
213
00:28:53,024 --> 00:28:56,985
I've got it in here somewhere.
It's, uh, it's not very big.
214
00:28:56,986 --> 00:29:01,491
- Hey, watch it. It might go off.
- Only if you don't do exactly what I say.
215
00:29:03,576 --> 00:29:05,077
Listen, Miss...
216
00:29:05,078 --> 00:29:07,204
- Russo.
- Russo?
217
00:29:07,205 --> 00:29:09,374
But you can call me Claude.
218
00:29:13,294 --> 00:29:16,463
- Claude?
- Pull off the road.
219
00:29:16,464 --> 00:29:20,259
The old
"pull off the road" ploy, huh?
220
00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:25,515
Yes, and then we will see how you do with
the old "take off all your clothes" ploy.
221
00:29:55,336 --> 00:29:58,630
And if you don't want to freeze to death,
you'd better put on the dress.
222
00:29:58,631 --> 00:30:01,091
- Never!
- Suit yourself.
223
00:30:01,092 --> 00:30:05,388
But the dress is an original Dior,
and you've got sensational legs.
224
00:30:46,846 --> 00:30:47,972
Yes?
225
00:30:51,851 --> 00:30:53,310
Good. Thank you.
226
00:30:53,311 --> 00:30:55,687
Why don't you just take that thing
off the hook?
227
00:30:55,688 --> 00:30:57,022
Won't be necessary, my dear.
228
00:30:57,023 --> 00:31:00,860
The great Inspector Clouseau
will not be bothering us anymore.
229
00:31:08,368 --> 00:31:09,869
Hello, boys!
230
00:31:11,079 --> 00:31:13,206
Am I glad to see you.
231
00:31:13,873 --> 00:31:17,042
And we are certainly glad
to see you.
232
00:31:17,043 --> 00:31:20,587
Hey, hey, hey!
Wait a moment! Wait a moment!
233
00:31:20,588 --> 00:31:23,257
You know me. I am
Chief Inspector Clouseau of the Sûreté!
234
00:31:23,258 --> 00:31:25,634
- And I am Officer Bardot.
- Bardot?
235
00:31:25,635 --> 00:31:27,761
But you can call me Brigitte.
236
00:31:27,762 --> 00:31:29,555
Brigitte!
Please don't, Brigitte.
237
00:31:29,556 --> 00:31:31,431
You are making
an understandable mistake.
238
00:31:31,432 --> 00:31:34,686
Don't let my legs fool you.
I'm really a man. Listen...
239
00:31:37,939 --> 00:31:41,568
The palace flag
is lowered to half-mast.
240
00:31:43,027 --> 00:31:46,573
The President has declared
a day of national mourning.
241
00:31:47,782 --> 00:31:49,908
Only a few hours ago,
242
00:31:49,909 --> 00:31:53,579
the great detective
stood in this very courtyard
243
00:31:53,580 --> 00:31:58,001
and was decorated by the President
for outstanding service to his country.
244
00:31:59,711 --> 00:32:02,045
According to the
coroner's report,
245
00:32:02,046 --> 00:32:05,591
Chief Inspector Clouseau
was probably dead
246
00:32:05,592 --> 00:32:10,555
before his car hit the telephone pole
and burst into flames.
247
00:32:14,976 --> 00:32:18,604
The President called me
at 6:00 this morning.
248
00:32:18,605 --> 00:32:22,441
A dozen countries have offered the
services of their finest detectives,
249
00:32:22,442 --> 00:32:24,943
but the President
made it painfully clear
250
00:32:24,944 --> 00:32:27,655
that this must be solved
by Frenchmen, and quickly,
251
00:32:27,822 --> 00:32:32,035
- or we can all hand in our resignations.
- I spoke with Dr. Laprone at the hospital,
252
00:32:32,243 --> 00:32:35,204
and he assures me
that Dreyfus is completely cured.
253
00:32:36,497 --> 00:32:38,248
It's amazing.
254
00:32:38,249 --> 00:32:40,792
I've seen some lunatics
in my time,
255
00:32:40,793 --> 00:32:43,337
but they were all pikers
compared with Dreyfus.
256
00:32:43,338 --> 00:32:44,671
He was like a wild animal!
257
00:32:44,672 --> 00:32:46,965
Didn't he actually bite you?
258
00:32:46,966 --> 00:32:49,927
Oh, yes. On the leg.
259
00:32:49,928 --> 00:32:52,721
I had to take rabies shots,
just in case.
260
00:32:52,722 --> 00:32:55,474
Well, the doctor swears
that his recovery is complete.
261
00:32:55,475 --> 00:33:00,271
He said that in the last 12 hours,
Dreyfus has literally become a new man.
262
00:33:00,438 --> 00:33:02,649
Well, thank God for that,
because we need him.
263
00:33:02,857 --> 00:33:06,485
If anyone knows about Clouseau
and who might have murdered him,
264
00:33:06,486 --> 00:33:09,822
that man is former
Chief Inspector Charles Dreyfus.
265
00:33:10,782 --> 00:33:13,033
Isn't it fantastic, Doctor?
266
00:33:13,034 --> 00:33:17,788
Reinstated at my former rank,
with no loss of pay or social benefits.
267
00:33:17,789 --> 00:33:21,375
Yes, it could actually be called
a psychic rebirth.
268
00:33:21,376 --> 00:33:24,419
I'm in your debt.
I shall be eternally grateful.
269
00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:26,880
I only helped. I led the way.
270
00:33:26,881 --> 00:33:30,551
But in the final analysis,
it was your victory, Charles.
271
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:31,928
Our victory, Paul.
272
00:33:32,887 --> 00:33:35,348
But only at the expense
of another.
273
00:33:35,556 --> 00:33:37,850
Huh? Oh. Clouseau, you mean.
274
00:33:38,059 --> 00:33:42,563
It could be said that he died
so that you might live.
275
00:33:42,772 --> 00:33:44,189
I wish I could feel sorry.
276
00:33:44,983 --> 00:33:47,068
- You feel no guilt?
- None.
277
00:33:48,319 --> 00:33:51,697
To be honest,
when I first heard he was dead,
278
00:33:51,698 --> 00:33:53,699
there were a few moments
279
00:33:53,700 --> 00:33:57,787
when I was actually convinced
I was in a state of grace.
280
00:33:58,955 --> 00:34:02,958
- Is that wrong?
- It isn't a matter of right or wrong.
281
00:34:02,959 --> 00:34:05,210
Look, I-- I hated him.
282
00:34:05,211 --> 00:34:08,755
He literally drove me out
of my mind, as you know.
283
00:34:08,756 --> 00:34:12,551
Isn't it natural that I should
feel happiness, even joy,
284
00:34:12,552 --> 00:34:17,514
at the thought of him being dead,
out of the way and gone forever?
285
00:34:17,515 --> 00:34:19,016
Natural, yes.
286
00:34:19,017 --> 00:34:22,394
But there is a danger
that such feelings might promote guilt.
287
00:34:22,395 --> 00:34:25,355
Clouseau would come back
and haunt you.
288
00:34:25,356 --> 00:34:27,983
- I have no guilt.
- Not now.
289
00:34:27,984 --> 00:34:32,447
Not ever.
Clouseau is gone, and I am free forever.
290
00:34:33,156 --> 00:34:36,950
- Now, have a cigar.
- Thank you, Charles.
291
00:34:36,951 --> 00:34:39,411
Well, I've made all the necessary
arrangements for your release.
292
00:34:39,412 --> 00:34:42,664
The Sûreté is sending a car
for you to be picked up at 5:30.
293
00:34:42,665 --> 00:34:45,459
Remember, you're on probation
for 12 months.
294
00:34:45,460 --> 00:34:49,171
If you have any problems,
call on me immediately.
295
00:34:49,172 --> 00:34:50,882
Thank you, Paul.
296
00:34:56,888 --> 00:34:59,848
Listen to me, Officer,
you are making a most serious mistake.
297
00:34:59,849 --> 00:35:01,475
Unless you
release me immediately,
298
00:35:01,476 --> 00:35:04,811
I will personally see to it
you are transferred to Martinique
299
00:35:04,812 --> 00:35:06,772
where you will spend
the rest of your natural career
300
00:35:06,773 --> 00:35:09,691
writing traffic citations
and checking parking meters.
301
00:35:09,692 --> 00:35:13,737
The man who was killed in that car,
my car, Cato's car, was not me.
302
00:35:13,738 --> 00:35:16,656
He was wearing my clothes. Yes!
These are his clothes.
303
00:35:16,657 --> 00:35:18,785
I am Chief Inspector
Jacques Clouseau.
304
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,079
- Miss or Mrs.?
- You fool!
305
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,581
The President himself,
when he decorated me said,
306
00:35:24,582 --> 00:35:27,626
"Clouseau,
you are a man of courage,"
307
00:35:27,627 --> 00:35:30,462
and he called me the greatest
detective in all of France!
308
00:35:30,463 --> 00:35:33,465
You charlatan! Impostor!
309
00:35:33,466 --> 00:35:35,968
All right. Calm down,
Mr. Poirot.
310
00:35:36,552 --> 00:35:38,762
- Poirot?
- Yes.
311
00:35:38,763 --> 00:35:42,308
Yes, but you
can call me Hercule.
312
00:35:42,892 --> 00:35:46,103
And I am the greatest detective
in all of France,
313
00:35:46,104 --> 00:35:48,481
the greatest in all the world!
314
00:35:55,029 --> 00:35:59,407
- That man is obviously crazy.
- We do not use that word round here.
315
00:35:59,408 --> 00:36:01,785
What do you normally
use round here?
316
00:36:01,786 --> 00:36:02,619
Now, now.
317
00:36:02,620 --> 00:36:05,330
He is very "now, now",
I can tell you that.
318
00:36:05,331 --> 00:36:06,749
Court order.
319
00:36:07,583 --> 00:36:10,461
I shall need your signature
on the transfer document.
320
00:36:15,633 --> 00:36:18,718
Ninety days comprehensive...
321
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:22,014
Thank you.
Psychiatric examination.
322
00:36:23,349 --> 00:36:24,475
Hey! Hey, p--
323
00:37:01,929 --> 00:37:03,055
Peekaboo?
324
00:37:05,183 --> 00:37:07,894
Your car's at the entrance,
Inspector.
325
00:37:10,104 --> 00:37:12,064
PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC
326
00:37:16,110 --> 00:37:18,571
Goodbye, Chief Inspector Dreyfus.
327
00:37:29,582 --> 00:37:33,753
- Good evening, Chief Inspector Dreyfus.
- Good evening, François.
328
00:37:38,758 --> 00:37:42,260
It's good to have you back on the job,
Chief Inspector.
329
00:37:42,261 --> 00:37:46,223
Is it true that you will personally
take charge of the Clouseau investigation?
330
00:37:46,224 --> 00:37:48,934
- Yes, yes.
- You must feel torn.
331
00:37:48,935 --> 00:37:50,894
On the one hand, it is your duty
332
00:37:50,895 --> 00:37:54,272
to send the guilty parties
to the guillotine for killing Clouseau.
333
00:37:54,273 --> 00:37:55,900
On the other hand,
334
00:37:57,568 --> 00:38:00,321
I am sure you'd rather
congratulate them, eh?
335
00:38:01,489 --> 00:38:04,157
Can you imagine?
A state funeral for that idiot?
336
00:38:04,158 --> 00:38:07,786
The President, dignitaries
from all over the world will be coming.
337
00:38:07,787 --> 00:38:11,289
Why, there's a rumor
the Pope might even show up.
338
00:38:11,290 --> 00:38:12,250
Pope?
339
00:38:14,669 --> 00:38:17,295
- "Poop"?
- What?
340
00:38:17,296 --> 00:38:18,923
You said, "poop".
341
00:38:19,340 --> 00:38:22,759
- Do you have a cold?
- Yes, yes. Yes, I have.
342
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:26,221
I have the cold in the chest,
you know. Yes, yes, yes.
343
00:38:26,222 --> 00:38:29,474
You sound terrible.
Do you want me to send you a doctor?
344
00:38:29,475 --> 00:38:32,602
No, no, no, it's
much better than it sounds.
345
00:38:32,603 --> 00:38:36,356
Anyway, I want to go directly
to the Clouseau apartments
346
00:38:36,357 --> 00:38:39,192
to commence the search for the clues,
you know.
347
00:38:39,193 --> 00:38:40,569
Yes, sir.
348
00:39:07,805 --> 00:39:11,309
- Is this the Clouseau residence?
- Yes.
349
00:39:17,940 --> 00:39:23,529
This is also the residence
of the Clouseau manservant, Cato Fong?
350
00:39:24,238 --> 00:39:25,281
Yes.
351
00:39:26,574 --> 00:39:31,537
Then be so good as to tell him that I wish
to have speaks with him, would you?
352
00:39:32,455 --> 00:39:37,251
And who should I say
"wish to have speaks" with Mr. Fong?
353
00:39:38,586 --> 00:39:40,921
Tell him it is an old friend.
354
00:39:41,297 --> 00:39:43,673
Mr. Fong has many old friends.
355
00:39:43,674 --> 00:39:45,508
Listen, you,
356
00:39:45,509 --> 00:39:48,471
tell him it is Chief Inspector
357
00:39:50,514 --> 00:39:51,891
Clouseau.
358
00:39:52,183 --> 00:39:55,853
Why didn't you say so in the first place?
Please come in.
359
00:40:07,031 --> 00:40:08,490
Good evening,
360
00:40:08,491 --> 00:40:11,493
- and congratulations.
- What?
361
00:40:11,494 --> 00:40:13,578
You are our first Caucasian,
362
00:40:13,579 --> 00:40:17,415
and that entitles you to a 10% discount
until midnight.
363
00:40:17,416 --> 00:40:20,586
- Who are you?
- Mrs. Wu. But you can call me madam.
364
00:40:23,923 --> 00:40:26,966
- Yes?
- Inspector Clouseau.
365
00:40:26,967 --> 00:40:29,094
Please come in.
366
00:40:29,095 --> 00:40:31,262
- Madam.
- Welcome.
367
00:40:31,263 --> 00:40:35,226
- Good evening.
- Please, make yourself at home.
368
00:40:36,644 --> 00:40:39,396
That man just called himself
Inspector Clouseau.
369
00:40:39,397 --> 00:40:44,401
It was Mr. Fong's idea, but personally,
I think we should have a better password.
370
00:40:44,402 --> 00:40:45,736
Password?
371
00:40:53,452 --> 00:40:57,038
Madam, I demand to know
exactly what is going on in here.
372
00:40:57,039 --> 00:41:00,583
Well, just about anything
your little heart desires.
373
00:41:00,584 --> 00:41:03,378
But first, why don't you relax?
374
00:41:03,379 --> 00:41:09,050
Give Benson your hat and your coat,
have a drink, get to know the girls,
375
00:41:09,051 --> 00:41:10,969
and then, when you are up to it,
376
00:41:10,970 --> 00:41:15,724
you can choose from a wide variety
of exciting little diversions.
377
00:41:19,061 --> 00:41:22,148
But I see that you
already have a preference.
378
00:41:32,741 --> 00:41:36,454
Allow me to introduce Tanya,
the Lotus Eater.
379
00:41:38,247 --> 00:41:39,999
What else does she do?
380
00:41:46,464 --> 00:41:49,841
I warn you, Tanya,
the Easter Lotus,
381
00:41:49,842 --> 00:41:53,137
I am opposed
to the women's libs.
382
00:41:54,096 --> 00:41:58,517
Man is the master,
and women's place is in the home.
383
00:42:00,686 --> 00:42:03,981
And another round-eye
bites the dust.
384
00:42:15,826 --> 00:42:17,578
Cato!
385
00:42:17,786 --> 00:42:19,371
Cato!
386
00:42:26,128 --> 00:42:30,340
Take your hands off me, you Oriental fool!
You are under arrest!
387
00:42:30,341 --> 00:42:32,675
Anything you say will be taken down
and used in evidence against you.
388
00:42:32,676 --> 00:42:33,885
Arrest?
389
00:42:33,886 --> 00:42:37,472
You have the right to remain silent,
but let me tell you this,
390
00:42:37,473 --> 00:42:40,725
I am not your ordinary,
run-of-the-mill transvestite.
391
00:42:40,726 --> 00:42:42,018
- Say no more!
- What?
392
00:42:42,019 --> 00:42:44,270
- What was that talk about arresting us?
- Yes.
393
00:42:44,271 --> 00:42:46,856
- He was just kidding, weren't you, boss?
- Boss?
394
00:42:46,857 --> 00:42:49,234
I used to work for him.
He used to be a cop.
395
00:42:49,235 --> 00:42:50,610
A cop?
396
00:42:50,611 --> 00:42:52,947
Tell them
you were kidding, boss.
397
00:42:54,406 --> 00:42:57,033
Yes, he is right.
398
00:42:57,034 --> 00:42:59,036
I was just kidding.
399
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:04,208
Cross my heart and hope to
meet you again sometime.
400
00:43:05,167 --> 00:43:08,796
And you, madam. And you, too.
401
00:43:09,588 --> 00:43:12,006
You two should be
ashamed of yourselves.
402
00:43:12,007 --> 00:43:15,510
And you!
I want to talk to you, Cato!
403
00:43:15,511 --> 00:43:18,263
Here. Come in here. Listen now!
404
00:43:18,264 --> 00:43:21,057
Please, boss!
I thought you were dead!
405
00:43:21,058 --> 00:43:24,228
So, as a tribute to my memory,
you open up this--
406
00:43:25,521 --> 00:43:27,398
this Chinese nookie factory!
407
00:43:27,940 --> 00:43:30,316
I had to do something
to keep busy.
408
00:43:30,317 --> 00:43:32,277
Besides,
a first-rate joint like this
409
00:43:32,278 --> 00:43:34,905
can make as much
as 300,000, 400,000 a year!
410
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:40,535
- Is that net?
- No, gross.
411
00:43:40,536 --> 00:43:44,372
But even so, a smart operator can clear
himself a couple of hundred grand,
412
00:43:44,373 --> 00:43:47,418
- and that ain't exactly chicken feed.
- No.
413
00:43:48,002 --> 00:43:51,797
No, and 10 years
on Devil's Island
414
00:43:52,006 --> 00:43:55,884
ain't exactly the chicken's feet either,
my greedy, little yellow pimp.
415
00:43:56,051 --> 00:43:56,969
Ow!
416
00:43:57,177 --> 00:44:00,930
Well, I'll have to close up anyway,
now that you're alive.
417
00:44:00,931 --> 00:44:02,390
Yes. Yes.
418
00:44:02,391 --> 00:44:06,020
Normally, that is precisely
what you would have to do.
419
00:44:07,229 --> 00:44:09,857
But these are not
normal times, Cato.
420
00:44:10,983 --> 00:44:14,069
- Someone has just tried to kill me.
- That's normal.
421
00:44:14,278 --> 00:44:17,865
Ah! But this time that someone
thinks he has succeeded.
422
00:44:18,073 --> 00:44:22,660
Except for you and me,
the whole world believes that I am dead.
423
00:44:22,661 --> 00:44:26,498
And in this case,
death has its advantages.
424
00:44:29,335 --> 00:44:32,755
No one will know it is me
as I glide
425
00:44:34,131 --> 00:44:36,091
through the underworld
like a shadow.
426
00:44:39,178 --> 00:44:42,139
- Good evening, Commissioner.
- Charles!
427
00:44:43,474 --> 00:44:44,558
I, uh...
428
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:47,852
Thank you.
429
00:44:47,853 --> 00:44:51,939
I'm sorry to be late,
but as you must have heard,
430
00:44:51,940 --> 00:44:56,027
- some lunatic was hiding in my closet.
- Yes. Russo.
431
00:44:56,028 --> 00:44:57,987
Russo?
432
00:44:57,988 --> 00:44:59,281
Russo.
433
00:44:59,490 --> 00:45:00,616
Ah!
434
00:45:00,824 --> 00:45:02,784
Ah, you remember?
435
00:45:02,785 --> 00:45:05,578
Why wouldn't I remember?
It was only three years ago.
436
00:45:05,579 --> 00:45:08,706
Of course. Claude Russo.
437
00:45:08,707 --> 00:45:12,752
Alias Claudine Russo.
Armed robbery, dressed as a woman.
438
00:45:12,753 --> 00:45:14,545
But he got five years.
439
00:45:14,546 --> 00:45:17,965
He was released on parole
three months ago.
440
00:45:17,966 --> 00:45:20,343
Ah, so it could have been Russo.
441
00:45:20,344 --> 00:45:21,720
He's clever.
442
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:24,973
Clever enough to fool François?
443
00:45:26,308 --> 00:45:28,059
I like François,
444
00:45:28,060 --> 00:45:30,895
but fooling him
no longer constitutes an act
445
00:45:30,896 --> 00:45:34,358
of more than average cleverness,
shall we say?
446
00:45:38,153 --> 00:45:41,447
I always thought
he was rather a good policeman.
447
00:45:41,448 --> 00:45:46,494
When he was my assistant, he was a very
good policeman with a bright future.
448
00:45:46,495 --> 00:45:50,040
- But then he was assigned to Clouseau.
- Oh, now, now, now, Charles.
449
00:45:50,332 --> 00:45:53,085
- All that's in the past.
- Yes, of course.
450
00:45:54,128 --> 00:45:58,005
Tomorrow morning,
when they plant him six feet deep
451
00:45:58,006 --> 00:46:00,550
and shovel in the dirt,
452
00:46:00,551 --> 00:46:02,428
I shall be truly free.
453
00:46:03,220 --> 00:46:06,473
Unless he's figured out a way
to come back from the dead,
454
00:46:07,599 --> 00:46:09,642
nothing that anyone does
or says about him
455
00:46:09,643 --> 00:46:12,270
will ever make
any difference again.
456
00:46:12,271 --> 00:46:15,441
- Shall we do some work?
- Well, that reminds me.
457
00:46:17,818 --> 00:46:19,068
What is it?
458
00:46:19,069 --> 00:46:22,780
The Chief thinks
that you should give the eulogy.
459
00:46:22,781 --> 00:46:24,950
- The what?
- The tribute.
460
00:46:25,367 --> 00:46:27,910
- Me?
- You knew him intimately.
461
00:46:27,911 --> 00:46:30,121
I hated him intimately.
462
00:46:30,122 --> 00:46:34,000
But you're the expert
who is going to track down his murderers.
463
00:46:34,001 --> 00:46:36,628
I'm the expert who would love
to-- to kiss his murderers!
464
00:46:36,837 --> 00:46:37,837
Don't you understand?
465
00:46:37,838 --> 00:46:40,799
Now, now, the PR people
loved the angle.
466
00:46:42,009 --> 00:46:45,053
- It's sacrilege! I won't do it.
- Politics.
467
00:46:46,013 --> 00:46:48,431
No, I'm a good Catholic.
468
00:46:48,432 --> 00:46:51,017
- So is the Chief's wife.
- I don't care.
469
00:46:51,018 --> 00:46:53,686
What's she got to do with it?
470
00:46:53,687 --> 00:46:55,522
She wrote the speech.
471
00:46:56,940 --> 00:46:58,942
Ladies and gentlemen,
472
00:47:00,068 --> 00:47:02,529
honored guests,
473
00:47:02,738 --> 00:47:04,031
dear friends.
474
00:47:05,741 --> 00:47:08,202
"We are gathered here to say
475
00:47:09,495 --> 00:47:11,914
"goodbye to a, uh...
476
00:47:14,917 --> 00:47:16,418
"a great man.
477
00:47:22,424 --> 00:47:26,511
"Not only was he
a model police officer,
478
00:47:26,512 --> 00:47:28,430
"a brilliant detective,
479
00:47:31,266 --> 00:47:35,020
"admired and respected
by his fellow officers
480
00:47:36,021 --> 00:47:39,817
"and all those
who were fortunate enough...
481
00:47:40,943 --> 00:47:42,236
"...enough...
482
00:47:43,195 --> 00:47:44,947
"enough to know him,
483
00:47:46,615 --> 00:47:48,408
"he was, above all else,
484
00:47:51,119 --> 00:47:52,579
"a modest man."
485
00:48:10,138 --> 00:48:13,475
"His kind will not pass
this way again,
486
00:48:14,685 --> 00:48:16,979
"and our loss is surely
487
00:48:18,981 --> 00:48:20,732
"heaven's gain."
488
00:48:32,202 --> 00:48:34,079
Present arms!
489
00:48:35,289 --> 00:48:36,123
Fire!
490
00:48:43,797 --> 00:48:44,923
Fire!
491
00:48:49,511 --> 00:48:50,929
Fire!
492
00:48:52,639 --> 00:48:55,474
- Get rid of that woman.
- We'll talk about it later.
493
00:48:55,475 --> 00:48:58,686
I want your answer now,
or I sue for divorce.
494
00:48:58,687 --> 00:49:00,229
I'm warning you, Therese.
495
00:49:00,230 --> 00:49:02,024
What are you going to do?
Have me killed?
496
00:49:32,888 --> 00:49:34,222
Gentlemen.
497
00:49:36,141 --> 00:49:38,893
You will be relieved to know
that our friend in New York
498
00:49:38,894 --> 00:49:42,438
was very impressed
by our little demonstration.
499
00:49:42,439 --> 00:49:44,440
It was a good idea, Guy.
500
00:49:44,441 --> 00:49:46,984
The Gannet transaction is on again.
501
00:49:46,985 --> 00:49:48,444
The same delivery date?
502
00:49:48,445 --> 00:49:50,446
Unless something is happening
I don't know about.
503
00:49:50,447 --> 00:49:53,450
I spoke to Hong Kong.
They say the Gannet's right on schedule.
504
00:49:54,826 --> 00:49:58,162
Good. That means, gentlemen,
that this time next week,
505
00:49:58,163 --> 00:50:01,332
we can declare ourselves
a very healthy dividend,
506
00:50:01,333 --> 00:50:03,334
letting our international colleagues know
507
00:50:03,335 --> 00:50:06,380
that the French Connection
is back in business.
508
00:50:07,339 --> 00:50:09,048
In the meantime, I'll be out at the farm,
509
00:50:09,049 --> 00:50:13,260
and I do not want to be contacted
except in extreme emergency.
510
00:50:13,261 --> 00:50:14,888
Meeting adjourned.
511
00:50:22,229 --> 00:50:23,355
Guy?
512
00:50:24,439 --> 00:50:27,609
- Stick around, will you? I might need you.
- Right.
513
00:50:30,195 --> 00:50:33,532
Miss Legree, would you come in here
for a moment, please?
514
00:50:46,253 --> 00:50:47,713
Well, now, what's wrong with you?
515
00:50:49,214 --> 00:50:50,716
We have to stop seeing each other.
516
00:50:51,383 --> 00:50:53,009
Your wife?
517
00:50:53,010 --> 00:50:54,051
Mhmm.
518
00:50:54,052 --> 00:50:57,389
That witch. Okay, how long this time?
519
00:50:58,140 --> 00:51:00,726
- I'm afraid this time permanently.
- Permanently?
520
00:51:03,061 --> 00:51:05,062
- Permanently?
- Yes.
521
00:51:05,063 --> 00:51:06,689
- Permanently?
- Well, look, she gave me an ultimatum.
522
00:51:06,690 --> 00:51:07,982
- What could I do?
- An ultimatum! What do you mean?
523
00:51:07,983 --> 00:51:09,775
You're sitting like you don't have
any choice in this matter.
524
00:51:09,776 --> 00:51:11,360
- Well, I haven't.
- Well, you have, too! Get rid of her!
525
00:51:11,361 --> 00:51:12,862
- Get rid of her? My own wife?
- Yes! Get rid of her!
526
00:51:12,863 --> 00:51:14,447
- Your own wife! Get rid of her! Out!
- I can't...
527
00:51:14,448 --> 00:51:16,032
- Why can't you do that?
- Well, she's got enough evidence
528
00:51:16,033 --> 00:51:17,450
in her safety deposit box to ruin me
529
00:51:17,451 --> 00:51:19,535
and her attorney has been told that if
anything accidental happens to her,
530
00:51:19,536 --> 00:51:21,412
to take the contents in the box
and give to the authorities!
531
00:51:21,413 --> 00:51:22,747
Well, then, get rid of the authorities!
532
00:51:22,748 --> 00:51:24,248
- Get rid of the authorities?
- Yes! Get rid of the authorities.
533
00:51:24,249 --> 00:51:25,791
- What do you think I am?
- Well, then, get rid of her attorney!
534
00:51:25,792 --> 00:51:27,626
- Get rid of her attorney?
- Get rid of her attorney!
535
00:51:27,627 --> 00:51:29,920
- I couldn't afford the scandal.
- A scandal? I'll show you a scandal.
536
00:51:29,921 --> 00:51:31,714
- Oh, no! Just a minute!
- I'll show you a scandal!
537
00:51:31,715 --> 00:51:33,466
It's not that I love her.
You know that I don't love her.
538
00:51:33,467 --> 00:51:36,385
I just... I need her respectability.
539
00:51:36,386 --> 00:51:38,471
- Permanently?
- Yes.
540
00:51:38,472 --> 00:51:42,391
You mean, six years together just like
that? Just washed up, just over with?
541
00:51:42,392 --> 00:51:45,519
- I'm afraid so. I'm sorry.
- Well, that's just wonderful, isn't it?
542
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:46,937
- That's just...
- And you obviously
543
00:51:46,938 --> 00:51:49,648
- can't go on being my secretary now.
- Obviously.
544
00:51:49,649 --> 00:51:52,610
But I have deposited a substantial amount
of money in your bank account...
545
00:51:52,611 --> 00:51:54,112
Use it, then, Philippe.
I don't want your money!
546
00:51:54,321 --> 00:51:56,573
- Well, what do you want?
- I don't know what I want.
547
00:51:59,242 --> 00:52:01,203
But I'll think of something!
548
00:52:15,717 --> 00:52:19,471
- Leaving early, Miss Legree?
- Later than you think, Mr. Algo.
549
00:52:28,396 --> 00:52:29,731
Something you want me to do?
550
00:52:32,359 --> 00:52:35,194
Not unless she decides to be indiscreet.
551
00:52:35,195 --> 00:52:37,906
If you have to, just be sure
you make it look like an accident.
552
00:52:45,330 --> 00:52:47,289
Ahoy!
553
00:52:47,290 --> 00:52:49,376
Lower the kipper!
554
00:52:51,169 --> 00:52:53,630
Hello out there, in the fog!
555
00:53:05,892 --> 00:53:07,726
Don't worry, here, though.
556
00:53:07,727 --> 00:53:11,689
It's only an old, salty
Swedish sea dog out there
557
00:53:11,690 --> 00:53:14,025
from the salty seas, you know.
558
00:53:17,112 --> 00:53:19,322
Pumping the air in the parrot.
559
00:53:22,742 --> 00:53:25,120
Naughty bird afraid of the fog.
560
00:53:35,505 --> 00:53:36,882
Swine leg!
561
00:53:44,639 --> 00:53:45,849
Hello, Inspector.
562
00:53:46,933 --> 00:53:48,602
Chief Inspector.
563
00:53:51,062 --> 00:53:55,400
I'm working under the covers, you know.
No one must suspect a thing.
564
00:54:03,617 --> 00:54:08,788
What do you have of special interest
to my secret investigations?
565
00:54:10,081 --> 00:54:13,126
There's something big going down
at Le Club Foot.
566
00:54:13,793 --> 00:54:16,712
Le Club Foot? Remarkable.
567
00:54:16,713 --> 00:54:18,215
Keep your...
568
00:54:21,676 --> 00:54:26,055
Keep your eyes and ears peeled
and keep in constant contact.
569
00:54:26,056 --> 00:54:30,101
I am extremely grateful
for this excellent piece of information.
570
00:54:32,020 --> 00:54:34,648
There she blows!
571
00:54:36,191 --> 00:54:40,236
Once again, I thank you
for this most useful tip,
572
00:54:40,237 --> 00:54:43,406
and if there is anything
I can ever do to repay you...
573
00:54:44,282 --> 00:54:47,077
Now that you mention it, Chief Inspector.
574
00:54:51,164 --> 00:54:53,707
You mean the line in the hand?
575
00:54:53,708 --> 00:54:56,920
All the dark strangers
coming in the village...
576
00:55:11,393 --> 00:55:14,728
Sixteen chests on the dead man's rum
577
00:55:14,729 --> 00:55:17,898
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of the chest
578
00:55:17,899 --> 00:55:21,152
Drink to the devils and down for the rums
579
00:55:27,158 --> 00:55:28,826
Give me some more.
580
00:55:28,827 --> 00:55:30,704
Yeah, give me some more.
581
00:55:30,870 --> 00:55:33,999
All right.
582
00:55:34,207 --> 00:55:35,749
Woo!
583
00:55:35,750 --> 00:55:36,834
Come on!
584
00:55:36,835 --> 00:55:38,545
Yeah! It's started!
585
00:55:45,343 --> 00:55:49,764
♪ If you mess around with woman, boy, your
wallet takes a trimming. Move em out. ♪
586
00:55:50,390 --> 00:55:52,474
♪ Move em out. ♪
587
00:55:52,475 --> 00:55:54,394
♪ Better listen to me ♪
588
00:55:54,644 --> 00:55:56,396
She's coming in now.
589
00:55:56,604 --> 00:55:58,565
♪ Move em out ♪
590
00:55:59,733 --> 00:56:01,025
♪ Move em out ♪
591
00:56:01,026 --> 00:56:03,694
- Bonsoir, Vic.
- How you doing, Simone?
592
00:56:03,695 --> 00:56:05,904
Mr. Toledo, Mr. Vancouver.
593
00:56:05,905 --> 00:56:07,699
- Hello.
- What's happening?
594
00:56:09,326 --> 00:56:11,410
Vic, you can show us to my usual table.
595
00:56:11,411 --> 00:56:13,579
How about something nearer the floor?
Easier for dancing.
596
00:56:13,580 --> 00:56:16,875
No, thank you. No, thanks.
I want my usual table.
597
00:56:23,048 --> 00:56:24,465
Is something wrong?
598
00:56:24,466 --> 00:56:27,051
Well, I mean, it is Mr. Douvier's table,
now, ain't it, love?
599
00:56:27,052 --> 00:56:28,886
Well, no, it really ain't, love.
600
00:56:28,887 --> 00:56:30,679
But, I mean,
if you're worried about Mr. Douvier,
601
00:56:30,680 --> 00:56:32,139
why don't you go give him a call?
602
00:56:32,140 --> 00:56:34,683
I mean, I wouldn't want you
to get in trouble with your boss.
603
00:56:34,684 --> 00:56:36,226
- He ain't my boss.
- He ain't?
604
00:56:36,227 --> 00:56:38,395
Well, then why you paying him
all that money every month?
605
00:56:38,396 --> 00:56:39,980
Now, that ain't cool, baby.
606
00:56:39,981 --> 00:56:42,192
You ain't seen nothing yet. Come on, love.
607
00:56:43,860 --> 00:56:48,572
♪ You better listen to me
Move em out. ♪
608
00:56:48,573 --> 00:56:52,034
♪ Move em out,
Move em out. ♪
609
00:56:52,035 --> 00:56:54,620
- Where are we going?
- We don't want to be obvious.
610
00:56:54,621 --> 00:56:57,664
We're going to make our entrance
through the back way in disguise,
611
00:56:57,665 --> 00:56:59,626
as I told you, you fool.
612
00:58:03,022 --> 00:58:05,525
Get up here. Get up here!
613
00:58:07,026 --> 00:58:10,487
- It's a bakery.
- I know that. I know that.
614
00:58:10,488 --> 00:58:13,450
Come on.
At least you're not yellow anymore.
615
00:58:14,451 --> 00:58:16,994
Now, this time I'm going to stand
on your shoulders.
616
00:58:16,995 --> 00:58:19,121
What good would that do?
617
00:58:19,122 --> 00:58:21,874
Because I'm taller than you are, you fool.
618
00:58:21,875 --> 00:58:24,043
- Oh, yeah.
- Make a cradle.
619
00:58:28,548 --> 00:58:30,216
Get rid of that.
620
00:59:13,551 --> 00:59:15,512
I can't reach it.
621
00:59:16,221 --> 00:59:18,431
You'll have to find something to stand on.
622
00:59:34,614 --> 00:59:35,698
Yes!
623
00:59:36,699 --> 00:59:39,993
All right! Let me see you, baby! Come on!
624
00:59:39,994 --> 00:59:41,496
Groovy, baby!
625
00:59:48,670 --> 00:59:49,836
No! Ow!
626
00:59:49,837 --> 00:59:51,130
Wait! Let me go!
627
00:59:53,550 --> 00:59:55,677
- Can you reach it?
- Yes.
628
00:59:58,972 --> 01:00:00,139
Merde.
629
01:00:13,152 --> 01:00:14,320
- Hey!
- Yeah?
630
01:00:14,487 --> 01:00:15,779
- Are you okay?
- No!
631
01:00:15,780 --> 01:00:18,323
- Hey, you know something? You're terrific.
- What?
632
01:00:18,324 --> 01:00:20,951
You're terrific! You saved my life!
633
01:00:20,952 --> 01:00:22,536
- Come on with me now.
- Where?
634
01:00:22,537 --> 01:00:24,121
Well, over here. I wanna save your life.
635
01:00:24,122 --> 01:00:26,416
- Let's go. Come on.
- Oh, God.
636
01:00:41,097 --> 01:00:43,140
Listen, you better come with me
before the killers see us.
637
01:00:43,141 --> 01:00:44,433
- What killers?
- The killers.
638
01:00:44,434 --> 01:00:45,767
I'll tell you when we get to my apartment.
639
01:00:45,768 --> 01:00:47,312
- What apartment?
- My apartment.
640
01:01:07,707 --> 01:01:09,416
My God!
641
01:01:09,417 --> 01:01:11,293
Mine, too.
642
01:01:11,294 --> 01:01:13,170
I'm soaked to the skin.
643
01:01:13,171 --> 01:01:17,884
Yes. Yes, I have received
considerable soak also.
644
01:01:22,555 --> 01:01:24,640
Listen, you'd better
get out of those wet clothes
645
01:01:24,641 --> 01:01:27,392
- before you catch your death of pneumonia.
- Yes.
646
01:01:27,393 --> 01:01:30,395
What shall I do with my coat?
I don't want to spoil your beautiful...
647
01:01:30,396 --> 01:01:33,857
Oh, just put it down anywhere.
Put it on the floor. That's fine.
648
01:01:33,858 --> 01:01:35,318
All right. Yes.
649
01:01:39,822 --> 01:01:41,657
- Help yourself.
- Cheers!
650
01:01:41,658 --> 01:01:42,991
- I'm gonna change.
- Yes.
651
01:01:42,992 --> 01:01:44,827
I'll bring you a robe.
652
01:01:53,336 --> 01:01:55,713
I'll put on some music.
653
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:08,059
- You know, it's strange.
- What?
654
01:02:09,060 --> 01:02:12,020
I say, it's strange.
655
01:02:12,021 --> 01:02:14,523
Yes, I know. And I said, "What?"
656
01:02:14,524 --> 01:02:17,275
- Oh, you mean, what is strange?
- Yes.
657
01:02:17,276 --> 01:02:18,944
Yes, yes.
658
01:02:18,945 --> 01:02:20,987
It's strange
659
01:02:20,988 --> 01:02:24,867
that I have never yet set foot
in this building,
660
01:02:25,952 --> 01:02:30,123
but I have the distinct impression
that I have been here before.
661
01:02:31,541 --> 01:02:34,292
Déjà vu. I have it all the time.
662
01:02:34,293 --> 01:02:37,338
- The old déjà vu. Thank you.
- Oh, you're welcome.
663
01:02:38,381 --> 01:02:39,924
- You okay?
- Yes.
664
01:02:42,343 --> 01:02:44,345
That feels good.
665
01:02:45,763 --> 01:02:49,182
Well, you know, it's not gonna do you much
good if you don't take your pants off.
666
01:02:49,183 --> 01:02:51,184
- What?
- You gotta take your pants off.
667
01:02:51,185 --> 01:02:52,602
I forgot about that.
668
01:02:52,603 --> 01:02:55,522
Look at me. Look at me. Look at my...
669
01:02:55,523 --> 01:02:57,524
- Look, I'm shaking like a leaf.
- Yes. Yes.
670
01:02:57,525 --> 01:02:59,443
I can't stop shaking. I don't know...
671
01:02:59,444 --> 01:03:01,862
- I know what it is. You know what it is?
- What?
672
01:03:01,863 --> 01:03:04,698
I just, I'm just not used to being killed.
673
01:03:04,699 --> 01:03:06,575
I mean, that's my first time, you know?
674
01:03:06,576 --> 01:03:09,327
I know. But listen,
675
01:03:09,328 --> 01:03:14,416
when you have been killed as many times
as I have, you get used to it, believe me.
676
01:03:14,417 --> 01:03:16,711
- Really?
- Yes, yes, yes.
677
01:03:17,670 --> 01:03:20,338
Yes, indeed.
I'll put this here, keep it nice and warm.
678
01:03:20,339 --> 01:03:22,132
- Well, cheers.
- Cheers.
679
01:03:22,133 --> 01:03:23,884
Cheers.
680
01:03:23,885 --> 01:03:26,637
- Oh, this is for you.
- Oh, yes. Yes, of course.
681
01:03:27,597 --> 01:03:30,348
- Then this must be yours.
- Oh, thank you. Cheers.
682
01:03:30,349 --> 01:03:32,934
Cheers. Cheers.
683
01:03:32,935 --> 01:03:34,395
Yes. Anyway,
684
01:03:36,731 --> 01:03:38,398
you have nothing to fear.
685
01:03:38,399 --> 01:03:40,317
- Yes, I have.
- No, you don't.
686
01:03:40,318 --> 01:03:41,985
- Yes, I have.
- No, no, you don't.
687
01:03:41,986 --> 01:03:44,447
- Yes, I have.
- No. You see,
688
01:03:45,323 --> 01:03:47,492
I am an officer of the law.
689
01:03:48,659 --> 01:03:49,994
The "loo"?
690
01:03:50,787 --> 01:03:51,829
What?
691
01:03:52,455 --> 01:03:55,957
You said you were,
"an officer of the loo"?
692
01:03:55,958 --> 01:04:00,254
That is correct. Yes, yes.
I am a Chief Inspector of the Sûreté.
693
01:04:01,714 --> 01:04:03,673
What?
694
01:04:03,674 --> 01:04:05,134
You doubt me?
695
01:04:06,177 --> 01:04:08,095
No, I don't doubt you.
696
01:04:08,971 --> 01:04:11,973
- Why should I doubt you?
- That's right. Why should you?
697
01:04:11,974 --> 01:04:13,475
If you say so, I don't.
698
01:04:13,476 --> 01:04:16,269
Who were those two men
who tried to kill you tonight?
699
01:04:16,270 --> 01:04:18,814
- Killers.
- Killers? How do you know?
700
01:04:18,815 --> 01:04:20,857
- I know because I worked for Douvier.
- Douvier?
701
01:04:20,858 --> 01:04:22,901
- Douvier.
- I know that name.
702
01:04:22,902 --> 01:04:25,111
Of course you know that name.
Everyone in France knows that name.
703
01:04:25,112 --> 01:04:26,446
He's a millionaire businessman.
704
01:04:26,447 --> 01:04:28,782
Yes, of course.
Douvier, the millionaire businessman.
705
01:04:28,783 --> 01:04:30,283
I knew, I knew him. Yes.
706
01:04:30,284 --> 01:04:33,370
But how many people do you think know
707
01:04:33,371 --> 01:04:38,500
that Douvier, the millionaire businessman,
is also Douvier, the French Connection?
708
01:04:38,501 --> 01:04:39,919
How many?
709
01:04:43,422 --> 01:04:46,049
Well, I suppose his mother, for one.
710
01:04:46,050 --> 01:04:48,593
And why do you suppose
he wanted to have me killed?
711
01:04:48,594 --> 01:04:50,178
Elementary. He wanted you dead.
712
01:04:50,179 --> 01:04:51,848
- Ah!
- Me? Dead--oh!
713
01:04:55,309 --> 01:04:56,518
It's nothing.
714
01:04:56,519 --> 01:04:58,562
- Just a slight singe.
- Are you all right?
715
01:04:58,563 --> 01:05:01,606
- I'm sorry about your robe.
- Oh, that's all right.
716
01:05:01,607 --> 01:05:04,068
Tell me about this Douvier.
717
01:05:05,903 --> 01:05:09,322
I was his mistress, and I was
his private secretary for two years.
718
01:05:09,323 --> 01:05:13,786
I know enough about Philippe
to send him to prison for his whole life.
719
01:05:17,331 --> 01:05:20,251
You keep talking about this Douvier.
720
01:05:21,210 --> 01:05:24,046
But Philippe? Who is Philippe?
721
01:05:25,006 --> 01:05:26,299
Philippe Douvier.
722
01:05:26,465 --> 01:05:28,008
- His son?
- Whose son?
723
01:05:28,009 --> 01:05:29,259
- Douvier.
- He has no son.
724
01:05:29,260 --> 01:05:31,636
- His brother, then.
- His brother's name is Fred.
725
01:05:31,637 --> 01:05:34,139
- Then it has to be his father.
- His father's dead.
726
01:05:34,140 --> 01:05:36,309
Ah! Now we're getting somewhere.
Then who killed him?
727
01:05:36,475 --> 01:05:38,184
No one. He died of natural causes.
728
01:05:38,185 --> 01:05:39,854
Then who is this Philippe?
729
01:05:40,730 --> 01:05:42,772
I wanna see some identification.
730
01:05:42,773 --> 01:05:45,483
- What?
- Right now.
731
01:05:45,484 --> 01:05:48,737
Right now, I wanna see some
identification. If you're not a policeman,
732
01:05:48,738 --> 01:05:51,073
then I shouldn't be telling you
any of these things.
733
01:05:55,703 --> 01:05:59,081
- Can you keep a secret?
- I don't know. That depends.
734
01:06:00,958 --> 01:06:05,003
Then brace yourself
for what I am about to tell you.
735
01:06:05,004 --> 01:06:07,256
I am none other
736
01:06:08,674 --> 01:06:12,427
than Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
737
01:06:12,428 --> 01:06:14,554
No, you're not.
738
01:06:14,555 --> 01:06:16,807
- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.
739
01:06:18,351 --> 01:06:20,936
- I am.
- You're not.
740
01:06:20,937 --> 01:06:23,813
- I am.
- You are not! You are not!
741
01:06:23,814 --> 01:06:26,274
- Look.
- No, you are not.
742
01:06:26,275 --> 01:06:27,693
Yes, you are.
743
01:06:28,778 --> 01:06:30,612
Oh, my God.
744
01:06:30,613 --> 01:06:33,365
Yes, I admit it's not
a very good photograph, but...
745
01:06:33,366 --> 01:06:35,992
But I saw your funeral on television.
746
01:06:35,993 --> 01:06:39,579
Yes, yes.
Even the Pope was there, you know.
747
01:06:39,580 --> 01:06:41,623
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
748
01:06:41,624 --> 01:06:44,210
But if you're not dead, who's dead?
749
01:06:46,629 --> 01:06:52,134
A wandering transvestite took my car
and stole my clothes at gunpoint.
750
01:06:52,802 --> 01:06:56,179
I have been working under the covers
tracking the killer.
751
01:06:56,180 --> 01:06:58,556
- The killer's Douvier.
- What?
752
01:06:58,557 --> 01:07:00,935
Yes, he wanted to impress the godfather.
753
01:07:02,353 --> 01:07:07,065
What? You mean
Douvier killed a wandering transvestite
754
01:07:07,066 --> 01:07:09,652
- just to impress his godfather?
- Yes!
755
01:07:10,820 --> 01:07:13,614
- The man's unthinkable!
- The door.
756
01:07:14,490 --> 01:07:17,493
- What's wrong with it?
- I saw the knob turn.
757
01:07:44,186 --> 01:07:45,563
Oh, hurry!
758
01:07:46,605 --> 01:07:49,025
- I wonder whose apartment this is.
- Oh, God, I don't know.
759
01:07:52,653 --> 01:07:55,280
The other one's probably upstairs
waiting in my room.
760
01:07:55,281 --> 01:07:57,574
The other one?
How do you know there's another one?
761
01:07:57,575 --> 01:08:00,827
Philippe's assassins always travel in
pairs. It's a company rule.
762
01:08:00,828 --> 01:08:03,079
Do you know
what the Gannet transaction is?
763
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:05,457
The Gannet transaction, what is that?
764
01:08:05,458 --> 01:08:09,669
It's a code name
for a 50-million-franc heroin sale.
765
01:08:09,670 --> 01:08:11,464
Fifty million francs?
766
01:08:11,630 --> 01:08:15,133
Yes, Philippe's going to Hong Kong on
Tuesday to meet with the American buyer.
767
01:08:15,134 --> 01:08:16,551
Hong Kong?
768
01:08:16,552 --> 01:08:20,056
I don't know how it fits in,
but the Gannet's a boat.
769
01:08:28,647 --> 01:08:29,732
What are you doing?
770
01:08:32,526 --> 01:08:34,861
Now I know
why this place looked so familiar.
771
01:08:34,862 --> 01:08:36,906
- Why?
- Chief Inspector Dreyfus lives here.
772
01:08:41,952 --> 01:08:44,330
I think he has received a faint.
773
01:08:46,123 --> 01:08:49,125
Wake up, Chief Inspector. Wake up.
774
01:08:49,126 --> 01:08:50,753
Chief Inspector.
775
01:08:51,462 --> 01:08:54,590
Hello? Are you in there, Chief Inspector?
776
01:08:55,341 --> 01:08:56,550
Hello?
777
01:08:58,052 --> 01:09:00,763
There's no reply. It's no use.
778
01:09:01,305 --> 01:09:04,015
I think we will have to go
to Hong Kong without him.
779
01:09:04,016 --> 01:09:05,683
- We?
- Yes.
780
01:09:05,684 --> 01:09:08,478
You, I and Cato, who will
translate for us.
781
01:09:08,479 --> 01:09:11,397
Not me. Not me.
I am not going to Hong Kong.
782
01:09:11,398 --> 01:09:13,858
Are you kidding me?
Douvier would shoot me on sight.
783
01:09:13,859 --> 01:09:16,361
Not if he doesn't recognize you,
and he won't.
784
01:09:16,362 --> 01:09:17,613
Why not?
785
01:09:19,031 --> 01:09:23,661
We will leave that up to the great Balls.
786
01:09:24,954 --> 01:09:26,747
The great balls?
787
01:09:27,957 --> 01:09:30,000
At your service!
788
01:09:30,793 --> 01:09:34,045
Please forgive the condition
of my establishment,
789
01:09:34,046 --> 01:09:36,840
but as the Inspector knows...
790
01:09:36,841 --> 01:09:39,008
- Chief.
- Chief Inspector knows...
791
01:09:39,009 --> 01:09:41,302
- Auguste!
- Ah!
792
01:09:41,303 --> 01:09:43,179
I'm so sorry. I beg your pardon.
793
01:09:43,180 --> 01:09:46,475
But as the Chief Inspector knows,
we were bombed.
794
01:09:47,226 --> 01:09:48,560
Sounds like you still are.
795
01:09:48,561 --> 01:09:52,022
Almost all my collection
was either destroyed or damaged.
796
01:09:52,398 --> 01:09:55,316
Starting Monday, I have to
have a fire sale.
797
01:09:55,317 --> 01:09:56,484
Yeah!
798
01:09:56,485 --> 01:09:58,820
You could call it
"The Great Balls of Fire Sale."
799
01:09:58,821 --> 01:10:02,283
- A catchy suggestion!
- Yeah, it's good.
800
01:10:03,534 --> 01:10:04,660
Cunny!
801
01:10:11,292 --> 01:10:15,545
I can't tell you how good it is
to see that you are still alive.
802
01:10:15,546 --> 01:10:19,925
It has been my privilege to serve
the good Inspector, the Chief Inspector,
803
01:10:20,092 --> 01:10:21,926
for all these many years.
804
01:10:21,927 --> 01:10:24,387
Thirteen, to be precise.
805
01:10:24,388 --> 01:10:28,766
And his reported demise
was a real blow to me.
806
01:10:28,767 --> 01:10:31,060
Something's coming.
807
01:10:31,061 --> 01:10:34,105
Yes, yes, Cunny, you are not dreaming.
808
01:10:34,106 --> 01:10:38,067
Our friend, our customer, is alive!
809
01:10:38,068 --> 01:10:39,528
Hello, Cunny.
810
01:10:41,030 --> 01:10:44,240
Now, how can I serve you?
811
01:10:44,241 --> 01:10:48,036
- Well, I...
- "Through wind and mud, snow and hail,
812
01:10:48,037 --> 01:10:51,247
"whether long or short, dark or pale,
813
01:10:51,248 --> 01:10:54,709
"remember that when duty calls,
814
01:10:54,710 --> 01:10:56,545
"you've got Balls."
815
01:11:00,716 --> 01:11:01,966
I gotta sit down.
816
01:11:01,967 --> 01:11:04,260
Yes, yes, of course, of course.
Cunny! Cunny! Cunny! Quick!
817
01:11:04,261 --> 01:11:06,930
Please, please, please!
Come along. Come along.
818
01:11:06,931 --> 01:11:09,515
That's right. That's right. There you are.
You sit. You sit.
819
01:11:09,516 --> 01:11:13,269
- Come, come, come. Sit, sit, sit.
- You're not serious?
820
01:11:13,270 --> 01:11:15,939
There has been no time
to get the new furniture.
821
01:11:15,940 --> 01:11:20,568
Please believe me since the blast,
he's much more comfortable. Please, sit.
822
01:11:20,569 --> 01:11:22,571
As a matter of fact,
I've been sleeping on him.
823
01:11:26,408 --> 01:11:27,617
Chief Inspector?
824
01:11:27,618 --> 01:11:30,912
I am leaving for Hong Kong
first thing in the morning.
825
01:11:30,913 --> 01:11:32,330
Hong Kong?
826
01:11:32,331 --> 01:11:36,626
Do you think you could pick me up
some cheap coolie hats?
827
01:11:36,627 --> 01:11:40,463
My dear Auguste,
I need your best Hong Kong disguise.
828
01:11:40,464 --> 01:11:44,468
Also, I will need something extra special
in the godfather line, you know?
829
01:11:45,344 --> 01:11:46,971
Doctor, please, you must help me.
830
01:11:47,888 --> 01:11:52,267
Is Clouseau real, or am I going mad again?
831
01:11:52,268 --> 01:11:55,853
- What do you think?
- What do I think? What can I think?
832
01:11:55,854 --> 01:12:01,150
If that nincompoop is really alive,
and the things I heard are true,
833
01:12:01,151 --> 01:12:03,361
he'll probably be decorated again
834
01:12:03,362 --> 01:12:05,905
for rounding up the biggest drug ring
in France,
835
01:12:05,906 --> 01:12:08,492
and I'll be a laughingstock.
836
01:12:08,993 --> 01:12:12,329
That sounds reasonable.
What are you going to do?
837
01:12:13,163 --> 01:12:15,498
What choice do I have?
838
01:12:15,499 --> 01:12:19,295
I either commit myself
and come back to be locked up in here,
839
01:12:20,504 --> 01:12:21,422
or...
840
01:12:23,215 --> 01:12:24,967
I go to Hong Kong.
841
01:12:57,291 --> 01:12:59,250
Listen, I don't think I can do this.
842
01:12:59,251 --> 01:13:02,546
Of course, you can. Of course, you can.
Just think yellow and follow me.
843
01:13:35,454 --> 01:13:39,874
Mr. and Mrs. Lo Kee.
844
01:13:41,543 --> 01:13:43,252
You stupid, clumsy oaf!
845
01:13:43,253 --> 01:13:44,921
What the hell do you think you're doing?
846
01:13:44,922 --> 01:13:46,799
You've absolutely ruined my suit!
847
01:13:46,965 --> 01:13:48,801
Why the hell don't you look
where you're going?
848
01:13:50,803 --> 01:13:54,889
I'm Mr. Algo. When Mr. Scallini arrives,
have me paged in the bar.
849
01:13:54,890 --> 01:13:56,683
Certainly, Mr. Algo.
850
01:13:58,102 --> 01:14:00,479
Who is gonna pay for my suit?
851
01:14:02,648 --> 01:14:04,607
See that man?
See that man that was right there?
852
01:14:04,608 --> 01:14:07,360
That's Guy Algo, Philippe's
right-hand man.
853
01:14:07,361 --> 01:14:09,822
This Scallini must be
Mr. Big from New York.
854
01:14:11,990 --> 01:14:14,534
Listen, we'll go up to the room.
855
01:14:14,535 --> 01:14:17,495
You stay here 10 minutes. Then tell Mr....
856
01:14:17,496 --> 01:14:20,498
- Algo.
- Right. Yes, Algo. Yes.
857
01:14:20,499 --> 01:14:23,668
That Mr. You-Know-Who has arrived
and bring him to the room.
858
01:14:23,669 --> 01:14:25,670
- Mr. You-Know-Who?
- Right.
859
01:14:25,671 --> 01:14:28,256
I will be Mr. You-Know-Who. Get it?
860
01:14:28,257 --> 01:14:29,550
Right. Come, Ming Loy.
861
01:15:12,718 --> 01:15:15,345
You got a reservation for Scallini.
862
01:15:21,477 --> 01:15:24,228
Page Mr. Algo in the bar.
Tell him Mr. Scallini's here.
863
01:15:24,229 --> 01:15:25,355
Yes, sir.
864
01:15:48,795 --> 01:15:51,715
- What do you think you're doing?
- Mr. Scallini in lobby.
865
01:17:10,627 --> 01:17:14,006
- Cochon.
- No, no. Fongool.
866
01:17:26,810 --> 01:17:29,353
- Hey, you heard what I said to him?
- Yeah.
867
01:17:29,354 --> 01:17:31,981
Dumb Frenchman! Cochon.
868
01:17:31,982 --> 01:17:33,317
That means pig.
869
01:17:34,818 --> 01:17:37,195
I'll tell Mr. Scallini you're here.
870
01:17:46,204 --> 01:17:48,539
- Listen, boss!
- Not boss. It's me. It's me.
871
01:17:48,540 --> 01:17:49,790
Where is he?
872
01:17:49,791 --> 01:17:51,959
He's in the bathroom
getting into his godfather's disguise.
873
01:17:51,960 --> 01:17:53,210
Algo's in the next room.
874
01:17:53,211 --> 01:17:55,546
Scallini's just down the hall
in the Tang Suite.
875
01:17:55,547 --> 01:17:57,923
- Marvelous.
- We rode up with him in the same elevator.
876
01:17:57,924 --> 01:17:59,800
Maybe I can reach him
before he contacts Philippe.
877
01:17:59,801 --> 01:18:01,344
- What are you going to do?
- I'm not sure.
878
01:18:01,345 --> 01:18:04,389
But you get in there
and keep your eye on Algo.
879
01:18:29,498 --> 01:18:31,416
- Ice?
- Please.
880
01:18:35,962 --> 01:18:37,964
- Soda?
- Yes.
881
01:18:43,220 --> 01:18:45,680
I hope it's not too strong.
882
01:18:45,681 --> 01:18:47,808
I'm sure it will be fine.
883
01:18:49,393 --> 01:18:50,477
Hey!
884
01:18:52,854 --> 01:18:56,149
Ay! Mama mia.
885
01:18:56,441 --> 01:18:58,735
Spaghettini del Al Pacino!
886
01:19:00,153 --> 01:19:04,657
Ay! Kowloon Ken and me have got
a little business to talk over, you know.
887
01:19:04,658 --> 01:19:05,950
We won't be long.
888
01:19:05,951 --> 01:19:07,743
Have another drink.
889
01:19:15,293 --> 01:19:17,587
- Where is she?
- I don't know.
890
01:19:23,510 --> 01:19:24,803
Get out!
891
01:19:26,513 --> 01:19:29,099
- Hello, Mr. Marchione.
- Hey.
892
01:19:30,267 --> 01:19:33,102
- Come on in.
- Thank you. Thank you very much.
893
01:19:33,103 --> 01:19:35,147
- Can I get you a drink?
- Oh, no. Nothing, thank you.
894
01:19:36,523 --> 01:19:40,443
- It's, uh... Simone.
- Oh, you really have a good memory.
895
01:19:40,444 --> 01:19:42,195
Yeah, well, I never forget a pretty face.
896
01:19:43,530 --> 01:19:46,198
Hey, boss. This is Simone.
897
01:19:46,199 --> 01:19:50,286
- That's Douvier's personal...
- Secretary. How do you do, Mr. Scallini?
898
01:19:50,287 --> 01:19:52,121
- We never met before.
- No.
899
01:19:52,122 --> 01:19:54,124
No, if we meet before, you call me Julio.
900
01:19:55,208 --> 01:19:58,794
- That's a nice hand.
- Oh, thank you. That's only the right one.
901
01:19:58,795 --> 01:20:01,088
- You type, too?
- 100 words a minute.
902
01:20:01,089 --> 01:20:02,591
I may faint.
903
01:20:03,300 --> 01:20:06,844
Listen, Mr. Douvier has asked me to
apologize. He's going to be a little late.
904
01:20:06,845 --> 01:20:09,680
If you like, I'll be happy
to keep you company until he arrives.
905
01:20:09,681 --> 01:20:12,100
If I like? Does my mother cook spaghetti?
906
01:20:12,851 --> 01:20:14,394
To the Gannet transaction.
907
01:20:21,860 --> 01:20:24,529
Shall I tell Douvier we're on our way?
908
01:20:26,907 --> 01:20:28,867
Don't forget the money.
909
01:20:39,419 --> 01:20:40,504
What?
910
01:20:41,254 --> 01:20:42,506
Throat?
911
01:20:43,131 --> 01:20:44,257
Back?
912
01:20:44,883 --> 01:20:46,176
Choking!
913
01:20:46,676 --> 01:20:49,429
You want me to hit you on the back?
914
01:21:12,077 --> 01:21:13,745
We're on our way.
915
01:21:14,955 --> 01:21:18,082
- Mr. Douvier will meet us in the lobby.
- Yeah. Great. Great.
916
01:21:18,083 --> 01:21:19,835
- Is that it?
- Yeah.
917
01:21:20,794 --> 01:21:23,921
- Fifty million francs and no bodyguard?
- Listen, buddy,
918
01:21:23,922 --> 01:21:26,715
I take care of my body,
my body takes care of me.
919
01:21:26,716 --> 01:21:29,427
You know what I'm driving at, you know?
920
01:21:37,310 --> 01:21:40,688
- I'll buy some cigarettes, huh?
- Yeah, smoke a few.
921
01:21:40,689 --> 01:21:42,940
When Douvier shows,
I'll meet you in the lobby.
922
01:21:42,941 --> 01:21:44,109
Right.
923
01:22:39,873 --> 01:22:41,958
Hey! Be right with you.
924
01:23:15,742 --> 01:23:17,744
What the hell is going on here?
925
01:23:35,679 --> 01:23:37,347
Lee Kee Shipyards.
926
01:23:44,479 --> 01:23:45,562
Where did he go?
927
01:23:45,563 --> 01:23:47,649
I think they're going to
Lee Kee Shipyards.
928
01:24:11,256 --> 01:24:14,967
You see this? I can tell by your heart
line that you're a very passionate man.
929
01:24:14,968 --> 01:24:16,510
You see how long this is?
930
01:24:16,511 --> 01:24:18,930
Keep watching. It's going to get longer.
931
01:24:23,143 --> 01:24:25,645
- Hello?
- Lee Kee Shipyard. Douvier.
932
01:24:26,271 --> 01:24:27,689
It was Douvier.
933
01:24:28,606 --> 01:24:32,527
And the doorman heard him tell the driver
to go to the Lee Kee Shipyard.
934
01:24:33,361 --> 01:24:35,071
Something is cucuzza around here.
935
01:24:38,116 --> 01:24:40,452
Your boss and a couple of boys
just left the hotel.
936
01:24:41,369 --> 01:24:43,662
Really? I wonder why they did that.
937
01:24:43,663 --> 01:24:46,583
You got me. Why don't we go ask him?
938
01:24:47,000 --> 01:24:49,961
Yes. Okay. Yes, I understand.
939
01:24:50,420 --> 01:24:51,963
Okay, yes.
940
01:24:53,298 --> 01:24:55,799
Douvier left the hotel
about five minutes ago.
941
01:24:55,800 --> 01:24:57,301
He was with two men.
942
01:24:57,302 --> 01:25:00,095
He told the driver
to go to the Lee Kee Shipyard.
943
01:25:00,096 --> 01:25:02,098
I'm sure it was that nincompoop!
944
01:25:08,021 --> 01:25:10,105
I'm sure Mr. Douvier
didn't intend to be gone very long.
945
01:25:10,106 --> 01:25:11,315
Well, we'll see.
946
01:25:11,316 --> 01:25:12,858
Well, it doesn't make much sense, does it?
947
01:25:12,859 --> 01:25:14,902
I mean, if you leave,
and then he comes back...
948
01:25:14,903 --> 01:25:17,781
Stop worrying.
You'll give yourself wrinkles.
949
01:25:24,496 --> 01:25:26,748
What about this Lee Kee Shipyard?
950
01:25:27,665 --> 01:25:29,500
Perfectly legitimate, as far as I know.
951
01:25:29,501 --> 01:25:33,003
They build a line of expensive
power cruisers and sail boats.
952
01:25:33,004 --> 01:25:35,590
Maybe Mr. Douvier
is just buying himself a yacht.
953
01:25:43,973 --> 01:25:45,100
Lee Kee Shipyards?
954
01:25:45,266 --> 01:25:46,975
Yeah, that's what the come si chiama said.
955
01:25:46,976 --> 01:25:49,187
Come si chiama. Lee Kee.
956
01:26:05,954 --> 01:26:07,664
Come on! Move it!
957
01:26:13,378 --> 01:26:14,796
Get them off me!
958
01:28:02,695 --> 01:28:05,864
This is Mr. Chow, our Far Eastern
representative. Mr. Scallini.
959
01:28:05,865 --> 01:28:09,660
- It is an honor to meet you, Mr. Scallini.
- You remember Mr. Algo, of course.
960
01:28:09,661 --> 01:28:11,245
- Shall we go?
- This way, please.
961
01:28:11,246 --> 01:28:13,830
After you launch the boat,
we'll go up to Mr. Chow's office,
962
01:28:13,831 --> 01:28:15,290
and you can sign the ownership papers.
963
01:28:15,291 --> 01:28:19,211
- Everything legal and above board.
- Above the board, yes, yes...
964
01:28:19,212 --> 01:28:23,632
- Where is it? You know...
- Well, I understood you were told.
965
01:28:23,633 --> 01:28:27,720
No, I was...
I've been told, but checking, you know.
966
01:28:29,138 --> 01:28:33,809
- In the keel.
- Oh, the old "keel" ploy. Yes.
967
01:28:33,810 --> 01:28:36,979
Now all you have to do is sail her
around the Caribbean for a while,
968
01:28:36,980 --> 01:28:40,190
haul her out of the water,
take the midsection out of the keel,
969
01:28:40,191 --> 01:28:41,900
and voilà.
970
01:28:41,901 --> 01:28:46,030
Forty kilos of the finest merchandise
your experts have ever tested.
971
01:28:46,197 --> 01:28:49,866
Well, I tell you,
it better had be the best merchandise,
972
01:28:49,867 --> 01:28:53,203
'cause my experts
certainly have tested some.
973
01:28:53,204 --> 01:28:56,957
- We have faith in our merchandise.
- That's good enough.
974
01:28:56,958 --> 01:29:01,254
- Now, would you like to launch her?
- I would be delighted, you know.
975
01:29:19,397 --> 01:29:23,359
September, a good month for the vintage.
976
01:29:27,196 --> 01:29:28,823
Congratulations!
977
01:29:44,130 --> 01:29:46,674
He must be a cop! Get him! Get him!
978
01:29:47,800 --> 01:29:49,177
Hey, boss!
979
01:29:59,103 --> 01:30:01,314
Look out, you Oriental idiot!
980
01:30:05,109 --> 01:30:06,736
What do you think you're doing?
981
01:31:10,341 --> 01:31:12,051
Jesus Christ!
982
01:31:31,737 --> 01:31:34,073
- It's me!
- I know!
983
01:31:48,212 --> 01:31:49,297
Wait!
984
01:32:13,321 --> 01:32:15,281
Hey, hey! Cancel the artillery.
985
01:32:22,288 --> 01:32:25,874
I don't care! I don't care!
Why don't you just get out of my way?
986
01:32:25,875 --> 01:32:29,337
- Hey, Al, where are you?
- How do I know?
987
01:32:30,546 --> 01:32:34,633
Well, wherever you are,
this is Chief Inspector Clouseau,
988
01:32:34,634 --> 01:32:37,260
and I am warning you
that if you are not careful,
989
01:32:37,261 --> 01:32:39,679
I will arrest you all in the
name of the law!
990
01:32:45,895 --> 01:32:47,562
You and your bright ideas.
991
01:32:47,563 --> 01:32:50,107
Let me get my hands on you.
Let me get my hands on you.
992
01:32:50,608 --> 01:32:53,569
- Clouseau?
- Yes?
993
01:32:54,570 --> 01:32:57,656
- Are you wounded?
- No!
994
01:32:57,657 --> 01:33:00,909
Fortunately, I was saved by the darkness.
995
01:33:00,910 --> 01:33:03,454
So what we need is more light.
996
01:33:09,794 --> 01:33:13,089
Look what you did to my shoes!
I'll kill you!
997
01:33:32,525 --> 01:33:35,111
All the time! I won't cut it out!
998
01:33:45,496 --> 01:33:47,123
Hello, Philippe.
999
01:33:48,291 --> 01:33:50,875
Simone! What the hell are you doing here?
1000
01:33:50,876 --> 01:33:52,961
I'm waiting for the
firecrackers to go off.
1001
01:33:52,962 --> 01:33:56,799
- What firecrackers?
- The ones I just stuck in your pants.
1002
01:34:10,521 --> 01:34:12,231
Woah!
1003
01:36:26,866 --> 01:36:30,869
- Hello! I'm so sorry I'm late.
- I was a little worried.
1004
01:36:30,870 --> 01:36:35,206
I had some rather important
police business to attend to, you know.
1005
01:36:35,207 --> 01:36:37,959
- And everything's all right?
- Yes, absolutely fine.
1006
01:36:37,960 --> 01:36:39,503
Allow me to let you in the car.
1007
01:36:40,337 --> 01:36:42,964
- Please.
- It's beautiful.
1008
01:36:42,965 --> 01:36:45,175
It's rather neat, isn't it?
1009
01:36:45,176 --> 01:36:47,386
I call it the Silver Hornet.
1010
01:36:56,687 --> 01:36:59,023
Yes, service, service.
1011
01:36:59,815 --> 01:37:03,319
It's a little overdue for a service,
unfortunately.
1012
01:37:07,573 --> 01:37:10,701
Perhaps it's better to leave that there.
1013
01:37:11,368 --> 01:37:13,870
Well, it's a beautiful night.
Why don't we walk?
1014
01:37:13,871 --> 01:37:15,289
What an excellent idea.
1015
01:37:16,499 --> 01:37:19,542
- I'm sorry about that.
- Yes, that's quite all right.
1016
01:37:19,543 --> 01:37:22,670
- My goodness, you look ravishing tonight.
- Yes, I know that.
1017
01:37:22,671 --> 01:37:24,672
- You know that?
- Well, yes, I know that.
1018
01:37:24,673 --> 01:37:28,593
- Yes, I knew that you knew that. Yes.
- You did? I knew you knew I knew that.
1019
01:37:28,594 --> 01:37:31,054
What made you decide
to become a detective?
1020
01:37:31,055 --> 01:37:35,558
Well, it's not something one decides
every day of the week, you know.
1021
01:37:35,559 --> 01:37:39,354
But in my case, it began
when my great-aunt was kidnapped
1022
01:37:39,355 --> 01:37:43,900
and held for ransom
by an unlicensed Armenian phrenologist.
1023
01:37:43,901 --> 01:37:46,194
An Armenian phrenologist?
1024
01:37:46,195 --> 01:37:50,615
Yes, you know, a man who reads
the bumps on your head.
1025
01:37:50,616 --> 01:37:52,408
- The "beumps"?
- What?
1026
01:37:52,409 --> 01:37:55,578
- You said "beumps"?
- Yes, yes.
1027
01:37:55,579 --> 01:37:59,707
- Have you ever had your bumps read?
- I don't think so.
1028
01:37:59,708 --> 01:38:03,379
I would guess that your bumps
would make excellent reading.
1029
01:38:04,547 --> 01:38:07,340
Would you mind
if I read your bumps someday?
1030
01:38:07,341 --> 01:38:08,884
No, I don't mind.
80856
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