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1
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,048
What is gout?
2
00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:07,007
Are you a 15th century
British monarch?
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:07,659
No.
4
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:08,573
You don't have it.
5
00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:09,444
Hmm.
6
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,229
God, there's like
5,000 questions.
7
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,535
You're a city employee now.
8
00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:16,364
Half your life is gonna be
paperwork, congrats.
9
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:19,889
Hey, is it okay if I put you
down as my emergency contact?
10
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,891
Well, since I'm the guy
most likely to harm you,
11
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,501
it seems like a conflict
of interest.
12
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:24,807
Truck 12.
13
00:00:24,937 --> 00:00:26,461
Resident reporting problem
with rabbits.
14
00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:27,853
907 Maple Lane.
15
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:32,771
Question, have subjects
been observed as... wascaly?
16
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,297
Are you going
or not?
17
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:39,909
Yes. We'll hop right on over.
18
00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:40,649
That's it, get out.
19
00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:41,998
What?
20
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:43,130
We talked about this,
21
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:44,609
two lame jokes before coffee,
get out.
22
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,481
Wait, really?
You were serious about that?
23
00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:47,830
As a heart attack.
24
00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:50,528
Hey. Come on.
25
00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:52,095
You're taking this too far, Frank.
26
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:57,100
You can come back!
I learned my lesson!
27
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,103
No jokes before coffee!
28
00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:33,571
So, I've been micro-dosing
mushrooms for anxiety
29
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:37,401
but my rabbits have gotten
into my special chocolate bars.
30
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:39,577
Oh, that was faster
than I thought.
31
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,971
This gentleman's bunnies
ate his drugs.
32
00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,190
They've been acting
really aggressive.
33
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,890
They look pretty chill to me.
34
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:52,590
Yeah, but in a circling
the wagon conspiratorial
sort of way.
35
00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:55,593
Look at them.
Plotting something evil.
36
00:01:55,593 --> 00:01:58,509
Okay. So the rabbits
are handling their high
37
00:01:58,509 --> 00:01:59,684
better than their owner,
38
00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:02,339
but sure, we'll take them in
for observation.
39
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:05,168
Hey hippies!
Sorry, summer of love is over.
40
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:06,213
Time to sleep it off downtown.
41
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,259
What is happening?
42
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,610
Hey! Ow!
43
00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:15,396
Jeez! My God!
Come on! Ow!
44
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:18,486
Retreat, retreat! Jeez!
45
00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:20,618
I told you, they're in
a very bad headspace.
46
00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:22,925
What the hell did you
put in that chocolate?
47
00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:24,318
I used to be a cop.
48
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:26,189
I busted international
crime rings.
49
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,234
And I'm getting...
50
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:28,409
- Hey.
- I thought you were brave.
51
00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:30,062
You guys know about this
taco truck up the street?
52
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:31,934
The breakfast burritos...
four stars.
53
00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:33,805
What's up with
the first-aid kit?
54
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:36,634
It's, uh, killer bunnies
on recreational drugs, bro.
55
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:38,506
Really? What kind?
56
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,421
You know, like, basic,
floppy-eared, fluffy.
57
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,379
No, no, the drugs.
What kinds of drugs?
58
00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:45,252
It's like psychedelic mushrooms.
59
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:47,471
The homeowner makes
his own chocolates.
60
00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:49,430
Really? Did he mention
if it was straight
61
00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:51,606
or if it was cut with
purity-tested MDMA?
62
00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:52,650
Did he mention that?
63
00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:54,522
Look, this isn't Bonnaroo.
64
00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:56,393
These rabbits are higher
than my uncle at Thanksgiving
65
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,308
and they're calling the shots.
66
00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:01,137
Everybody relax, okay?
I got a couple rabbits at home.
67
00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:02,443
I speak fluent bunny.
68
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:06,186
I mean, you might wanna
film this.
69
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,013
Could be a valuable
teaching tool.
70
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:11,669
Hey guys.
How are you doing?
71
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,673
You know I have two rabbits
at home, Snowball and Batman.
72
00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:18,328
Yeah, we let the kids
name them.
73
00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:21,766
And they are just as cute
and adorable...
74
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:24,639
...as you, uh-huh.
75
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:27,076
That Phyllis,
she's the mama.
76
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:29,470
Oh, aren't you a little
love muffin?
77
00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:34,562
Oh! Get off me,
you mangy bitch!
78
00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,259
Hey Shred, you're always trying
to be smarter.
79
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:38,261
Look up "hoisted on
one's own petard"
80
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,481
and it will literally be
a picture of this.
81
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:41,438
Argh!!!
82
00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:44,833
Uh, should we call
for backup?
83
00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,095
Bunny backup?
84
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,401
Dude, do you have any idea
of the ridicule
85
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:48,619
that will come our way?
86
00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:50,273
No. We got this.
87
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:54,799
Cuddle time is over.
88
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:12,164
Hey. So, we're gonna need to
collect the medicated chocolate
89
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:16,125
for our vet so she can calibrate
an overdose treatment.
90
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,214
Right, of course.
Anything to help.
91
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,563
And, um, look,
92
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,609
I know I shouldn't be messing
around with drugs.
93
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:24,002
I'm gonna turn over
a new leaf right now.
94
00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:26,266
Yeah. Drugs are bad.
95
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,006
Uh, make sure you get
all of them.
96
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,533
You should be ashamed
of yourself.
97
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,361
No, I'm not.
Not even a little bit.
98
00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:38,365
I suspect his bars
contain psilocybin and 2CB.
99
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,192
That combination is known
to give you orgasms
100
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,412
and make you feel like you've
been launched into outer space.
101
00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:45,546
And rabbits have no business
experiencing pleasure like that.
102
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:46,721
Okay. Just remember,
103
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,549
you promised to watch the kids
this weekend, okay?
104
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,202
And they're very excited,
105
00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:51,769
they picked out a movie
and everything, Freaky Friday.
106
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:52,727
It's a silly premise
107
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:54,294
but, uh, the emotion
really sneaks up on you.
108
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,120
- Yeah. I...
- It does.
109
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,731
- I will be there.
- Okay.
110
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:57,732
The chocolates are
for tonight.
111
00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,516
Do you remember that guy
I met in Costa Rica?
112
00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,126
Yeah. The... the yogi
or the surfer?
113
00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:02,606
The yogi.
114
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:04,086
So, he's in town, but he's only
free for one night.
115
00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:05,609
Mmhmm.
116
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:08,090
He's really flexible.
Just, like... not with his time.
117
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,439
Right.
118
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:11,223
Anyway, what are you guys up to
for your big date?
119
00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:13,269
Oh, we're actually gonna go eat
Swedish meatballs at Ikea.
120
00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:14,836
And test out futons.
121
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:16,403
I know it sounds pathetic
but I'm actually really excited.
122
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,579
Maya and I, we haven't been
alone together in, like, months.
123
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:19,797
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
124
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,800
Don't be insulted but I'm so
glad I don't have your life.
125
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,412
Well, you're tempting fate
'cause we could end up
126
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,370
accidentally eating
magic fortune cookies
127
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,329
and end up switching places.
128
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,201
Is that what happens
in the movie?
129
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:33,245
I don't wanna ruin it for you.
130
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,509
You just did like... like you
told me the ending.
131
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:36,510
Maybe I didn't though.
132
00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:39,469
- Or maybe I did.
- Huh.
133
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:46,128
Oh, at least it's donut Wednesday.
134
00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:51,786
What abomination is this?
135
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:54,136
Who's day is it?
I want answers.
136
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,529
I want revenge.
137
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,531
Okay. But is it okay
if I have some jicama?
138
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,228
'Cause I love jicama.
139
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:01,535
No. I want revenge.
Shout it with me.
140
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:02,971
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
141
00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:04,407
Revenge!
142
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,756
You make it sound playful.
Put some fury behind it.
143
00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:08,542
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
144
00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:10,108
Revenge!
145
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,894
Shh! I'm on the phone
with my daughter's teacher.
146
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,288
There's been a horrible accident,
147
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:17,594
I gotta call you back.
148
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:18,421
Revenge.
149
00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:20,858
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
150
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:22,860
Okay, I proudly take responsibility.
151
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:25,341
Donut Wednesday, Delores.
It's a sacred tradition.
152
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:27,517
Handed down to us
by the Romans.
153
00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:30,259
You defiled this holy tabernacle
with your cru d'été.
154
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:32,479
This is our tabernacle, Delores.
155
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,481
Okay. This office
has a serious case
156
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:35,786
of the late morning
sugar blues
157
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:37,658
and someone
had to intervene.
158
00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:40,443
How dare you act unilaterally.
159
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:43,011
It's America.
It's donuts.
160
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:44,316
Shred, throw that away.
161
00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:45,143
- Oh, come on.
- Throw it away.
162
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,057
It's just a jicama stick.
163
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:47,668
Throw it away.
Spit it out.
164
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:48,799
This is very disappointing.
165
00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:51,585
How's my favorite
under-performing precinct doing?
166
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,935
Oh, you sad, sad man.
167
00:06:53,935 --> 00:06:56,546
You drove across town just to
make fun of us for the rabbits.
168
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,505
What rabbits? I didn't
hear anything about rabbits.
169
00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,985
Ha! Because there were
no rabbits.
170
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:03,684
Hey Emily.
Got your speech ready?
171
00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:04,859
Who told you about that?
172
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:07,775
She's giving the keynote
at the AACL luncheon today.
173
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:10,473
Whoa. I don't know what
it stands for but congrats.
174
00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:11,648
Why didn't you tell us?
175
00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:13,520
I... I just get a little nervous
176
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,217
so I just wanted to keep it
under the radar.
177
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:16,479
That's why I'm here.
178
00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:19,961
I spoke last year and,
whoo... stressful.
179
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:21,919
And I know how much you hate
public speaking, so...
180
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:25,227
Yeah, but I've been practicing
so I think I'll be good.
181
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:26,794
Of course.
182
00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:28,448
No worry, it's just a couple
hundred people in the audience.
183
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,710
- And, uh...
- Uh-huh.
184
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,451
They film it and post it
on their website
185
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,843
and it's up there forever.
186
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:35,585
So, nobody looks at it.
Yes, they do.
187
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,587
I watched your speech, Templeton.
188
00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:39,850
- Several times, so funny.
- Big fan.
189
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:42,462
What kind of truck does
a pig drive?
190
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,724
A hambulance.
191
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:44,899
Ah, that line killed.
192
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,729
Anyway, uh, happy to step in
for you
193
00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:51,209
and I promise you the audience
will not be disappointed.
194
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:52,820
Thank you so much.
195
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,691
Uh, but shouldn't you be
on patrol or something?
196
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,040
Heading out now.
197
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,303
Oh! What's that?
198
00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:02,656
Looks like I have an email
that is stuck in my outbox.
199
00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:06,050
Boom!
200
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,531
Fixed it. Enjoy.
201
00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:12,927
A gleefully vindictive message
from Officer Templeton Dutch.
202
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:14,972
That jerk got a hold of
our body-cam footage.
203
00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:16,931
Oh, he did know about
the rabbits.
204
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:17,758
Ugh.
205
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:18,976
Look at you guys
running away
206
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,717
from the li'l rabbits!
207
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:21,675
We were regrouping!
208
00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,633
Are you... are you...
are you kidding me?!
209
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,766
What... what are these,
green peppers?!
210
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,724
Okay. I support healthy choices, Delores,
211
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:29,857
but it is donut Wednesday.
212
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:33,469
I am stressed and I need sugar
so you need to fix this.
213
00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:37,081
Revenge!
214
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,653
Hey. Hey.
215
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,002
Try not to let Templeton
get in your head.
216
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:48,963
Oh yeah, uh, too late.
Uh, he is... he is in there.
217
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,007
Okay, listen.
218
00:08:50,138 --> 00:08:52,749
I used to get really nervous
before big competitions.
219
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,011
Like, it got bad.
220
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,623
So I remember my coach hooked me
up with this sports psychologist
221
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:58,581
who gave me some cool
relaxation techniques.
222
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,148
If you wanna try.
223
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,497
Okay.
224
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:02,629
- Yeah?
- Yeah, okay.
225
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,369
'Cause my heart is um...
really pounding.
226
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,981
Okay. Um, so, close
your eyes.
227
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:08,504
Yeah.
228
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:11,812
Take a deep breath and imagine
yourself on a mountain.
229
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:13,422
Now, you're about
to start a race
230
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,032
against this big-ass Swiss dude.
231
00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:17,469
Wait. No. Sorry.
232
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:20,037
Visualize yourself giving
the speech.
233
00:09:20,037 --> 00:09:23,606
Confident, calm, looking
super fly in your business suit
234
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:26,478
and the crowd is loving it.
235
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:31,658
They're chanting your name.
Emily! Emily! Emily!
236
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,703
Well, it's a professional conference
237
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:36,053
so there's not really
a whole lot of chanting.
238
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:37,359
No chanting?
239
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,709
- No.
- That's too bad.
240
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,755
Okay. Then just
visualize yourself
241
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:44,018
absolutely crushing the speech.
242
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:44,714
Okay.
243
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:48,196
How's your heart rate?
244
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:53,854
It is actually better.
245
00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:55,595
You're gonna medal for sure.
246
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:02,732
Oh, um... remind me.
247
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:05,169
In my outfit you said
I looked, um...
248
00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:08,216
Super fly.
Right, okay.
249
00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:19,096
Okay. Only one
big question left.
250
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:23,492
Who's going to step up
and be my emergency contact?
251
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:25,102
Don't you have family
you can ask?
252
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,757
My dad died and my mom
moved to Florida.
253
00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:30,194
But she's got a sweet condo
on the beach
254
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:32,762
and she says any time I wanna
bring down my emergency contact
255
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:35,199
for a little sand and sea,
she has a room waiting.
256
00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:37,245
Oh. Well, I hope you and that
guy without boundaries
257
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:38,899
have fun with your mom.
258
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:42,076
No! No, no, no, no, no,
no, no!
259
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:45,645
Guys, who ate one of
my chocolate bars?
260
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,559
There were three
and now there's two.
261
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,126
And they were hidden
way at the back
262
00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:50,693
with my frickin' name on it.
263
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,652
If your name's on it,
that's sacrosanct.
264
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,131
You can look that word up, Shred.
265
00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:55,089
Sacrosanct...
266
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:57,178
Although I did eat Patel's
ice cream bar.
267
00:10:57,178 --> 00:11:00,094
What? I was saving that
for my end of the week treat!
268
00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:01,704
Oh, you were
intolerable yesterday.
269
00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:03,401
It demanded a response.
270
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,926
Why? Because I said the Mariners
don't have a shot this year?
271
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:07,971
Say it again and you can kiss
your tuna sandwich goodbye.
272
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:08,885
The Mariners don't have
a shot this year.
273
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:10,670
Oh, that tuna sandwich
is gonna taste...
274
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,933
The Mariners
don't have a shot...
275
00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:13,890
Okay, I think we're done here.
276
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,588
I need to know who ate
my chocolate bar.
277
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:17,677
Shred, check the waste
baskets now.
278
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:18,678
Thanks. Great.
279
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,896
Uh, those chocolate bars
were laced
280
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,898
with high-grade hallucinogenics.
281
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,987
Have you seen double rainbow?
282
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,467
Someone's about to be 10 times
more like that guy
283
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:26,686
than that guy was.
284
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,775
Hey. Did Emily make it back?
285
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:31,865
Uh... I'm not sure.
286
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,040
I was gonna give her
a ride
287
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,129
but she ran off after
her presentation.
288
00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:36,347
Um... can this wait?
289
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,610
It's just, we're in the middle
of a bit of a crisis.
290
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:41,613
It's just weird because
her speech went so well.
291
00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:43,920
She was funny,
talking off the cuff...
292
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,488
she even sang at one point.
293
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,577
Oh God.
294
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:49,970
Emily ate the chocolate.
295
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,188
All of it?
296
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:52,537
It looks that way, yeah.
297
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:54,626
Code red.
298
00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:56,193
My thin mints are missing,
gone without a trace.
299
00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:57,586
She's binging.
300
00:11:57,586 --> 00:11:59,631
Actually, I threw
the cookies out.
301
00:11:59,631 --> 00:12:00,981
You'll thank me later.
302
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:03,853
Actually, I will not thank you.
I will not thank you, Delores!
303
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:07,814
I want my own refrigerator.
'Kay?
304
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,337
Delores, I want
my own refrigerator!
305
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:15,169
So, who's your emergency
contact?
306
00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:16,518
My father.
307
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:17,998
Aww, I didn't know you were
close with your dad.
308
00:12:17,998 --> 00:12:19,739
We're not.
I hate that son of a bitch.
309
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,218
Then why did you choose him?
310
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,220
Well, if something happens
to me, he's on the hook.
311
00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:24,526
With any luck,
312
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:27,224
I'll be a vegetable
requiring 24-hour care.
313
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:29,749
That makes me sad, bro.
My dad was my best friend.
314
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,185
Yeah, of course he was.
315
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,013
My only regret is I never
got to tell him
316
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,623
how much he meant to me.
317
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:35,798
I mean, he probably knew
because I told him
318
00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:37,191
I loved him every day.
319
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:38,235
Except when my phone died,
320
00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:40,150
which happened a lot when I was
competing in Europe
321
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:42,631
'cause I didn't have
the right plugs.
322
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:44,938
Point is... don't leave
things unsaid.
323
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:46,330
Call your dad.
324
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,030
You know, they make those
three-in-one adapters.
325
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,596
They have for years.
326
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:52,772
Really?
327
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:56,514
Now I have two regrets.
328
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,734
Truck 12. Pet python
escaped its enclosure.
329
00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,867
7276 South Kenwood.
330
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,217
And get this.
It's JT Wallace's house.
331
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:05,001
Holy crap. JT Wallace.
332
00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:06,263
Oh, who's that?
333
00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:07,874
Are you serious?
334
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,137
The wide receiver
for the Seahawks?
335
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:12,574
In what world could I have been
your emergency contact?
336
00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:13,880
Get out.
337
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,055
What, really?
We're doing this again?
338
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,621
I'm not... I can't even
look at you.
339
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:23,541
Don't look at me!
340
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,242
How the hell
are we gonna find her?
341
00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:29,547
I don't know.
342
00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:30,505
It's just like looking
for someone's lost mutt.
343
00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:34,683
Oh, so we put out some beef
strips and stand behind a bush?
344
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:35,858
I know you're kidding
but do you have beef strips?
345
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:36,946
Everything I was gonna eat today
346
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,208
got senselessly ripped away
from me.
347
00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:40,950
No. I don't eat gassy foods
on sex days.
348
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:42,256
Ooh, how's it going
with the yogi by the way?
349
00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:43,300
Do you like him?
350
00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:44,780
As a person?
351
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:46,738
He's done so much healing
352
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,697
he's healed himself right out of
an actual personality.
353
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:51,091
But in bed, and I say this
as someone
354
00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:53,310
with a sufficiently large
sample pool,
355
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:54,877
- Mmmhmm.
- uh, he's detail-oriented.
356
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,705
Hmm.
357
00:13:56,705 --> 00:13:58,272
I used to be detail-oriented.
358
00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,709
That was before I was tired
all the time.
359
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:03,668
Maybe you should try
some of this.
360
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:04,800
- No.
- I'll give you a little.
361
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:05,714
No. I can't eat that.
362
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:06,889
Yes, you can.
Give it a shot.
363
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,978
It makes everything feel amazing
364
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:09,849
and you're not really doing
anything different.
365
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,676
It's almost like cheating.
366
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,113
My life's not built for that.
367
00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:16,159
Every night I'm taking a kid
to the ER.
368
00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,944
Or talking another one down
from a nightmare.
369
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,989
Last night it was
global warming.
370
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,339
I can't discuss polar ice caps
all high and horny.
371
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:24,602
Oh, my God.
Is that Emily?
372
00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:32,436
Emily! Emily! Emily! Emily!
373
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:39,617
Even Seahawk colors.
374
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,100
Sheesh. You almost beat me.
375
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,146
Yeah. Asher knows
all the shortcuts.
376
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:48,800
Hey, good luck
with your girlfriend, buddy.
377
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,367
I sincerely hope everything
works out.
378
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:51,934
Thank God
you're here. Hurry!
379
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:56,156
He was cleaning the cage.
380
00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:58,462
Holy crap.
381
00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:00,029
It's huge.
382
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,378
Frank, have you ever dealt with
something like this before?
383
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:03,163
No. And I can't tell you
how much,
384
00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,729
but something that's not nothing
just slipped out of me
385
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,122
and into my underwear.
386
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,776
It's getting tighter.
387
00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:09,734
Just remain calm, we're gonna
unwind it from you.
388
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,345
Shred, grab the head.
389
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:13,825
I'm not grabbing the head, man.
It's scary and gross.
390
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,479
The Seahawks have a very shallow
depth chart,
391
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:16,785
now grab the head.
392
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,134
I'm not touching that thing.
393
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:19,396
I was led to believe
this job was mostly dogs.
394
00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:20,876
Help him!
395
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,922
This thing is super strong.
Grab something, Shred.
396
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,054
Okay. But I'm closing my eyes.
397
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:26,751
Is this a bad time to tell you
that I'm a big fan?
398
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:28,231
Yes.
399
00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:29,929
Okay. Well, it would just
seem phony
400
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,365
if I didn't say anything, right?
401
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,193
Listen, man, you get
this thing off me,
402
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:34,324
I'll sign anything you want.
403
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:35,935
Really? How about a football?
404
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:36,979
- Yes.
- How about a jersey?
405
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:37,980
- Yes.
- A helmet?
406
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,460
Yes.
407
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:41,027
What about one of those
breast cancer awareness hats-
408
00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:42,332
- Anything!
- That are collectible.
409
00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:46,771
Yeah. I thought I was gonna die.
410
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:50,862
Okay, yeah, yeah...
411
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:53,953
Oh, my God.
It's on me now.
412
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,129
If I don't make it...
beat the Rams.
413
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:01,003
Oh, my god.
414
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:04,180
Emily! Hey!
How's it going, girl?
415
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,790
Oh, man. You are really good
out there.
416
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:07,270
What'd you play
in high school?
417
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:08,968
- Yeah.
- What are you guys doing here?
418
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,360
Uh, we, we just, uh...
419
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,188
we just came to take you back
to the office.
420
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,407
To the office.
421
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:18,107
Oh. No. I'm not going back.
422
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,414
Yeah. I'm...
I'm never going back.
423
00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:21,806
Bye!
424
00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:23,591
Oh, I hate running.
425
00:16:23,721 --> 00:16:26,028
- Emily! Emily!
- Emily!!
426
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,290
My god, she's out of control.
427
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,596
Hello! Emily! Slow down!
Stop guys!
428
00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:29,640
Guys, guys, stop her!
429
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,468
Whoo!
My whole body's buzzing.
430
00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:33,166
I've never felt more alive!
431
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:35,211
Dude, that snake had plans
for you.
432
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:36,212
A brush with death
433
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,867
and an encounter with
a world-class athlete.
434
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,130
Okay. That's obviously
a little bit hurtful.
435
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:44,351
I came in 7th at Pyeongchang
but I know it's a niche sport.
436
00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:47,049
Listen, don't get needy but
you were pretty good back there.
437
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,007
Really?
438
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,356
You're already being needy.
439
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:51,445
I won't say another word.
Except that after this,
440
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:54,013
I can't imagine being in battle
with anyone else.
441
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,927
Snake brothers forever!
442
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:57,755
Oh, 100 percent did this
to myself.
443
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:00,367
- Again?
- Give me those forms.
444
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:02,282
- What? What did I do?
- Give me those forms.
445
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:05,328
- You'll be my emergency contact?
- Give them to me.
446
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:08,505
Don't get hurt 'cause I'm
pulling the plug for anything.
447
00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:09,593
Ooooh!
448
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:12,292
Alright!
449
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:14,511
Whoo!
450
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,861
I'm finally coming out
of my cocoon!
451
00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,037
You're high on drugs!
452
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,909
No, I'm high on life!
453
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:23,042
Life can't do that,
that's why we have drugs.
454
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,478
- Ah!
- Yes!
455
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:25,827
No, No.
456
00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:26,871
Oh, here we go.
457
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,398
I mean, I went to Vienna once
458
00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:34,053
but I mostly just stayed
in the hotel.
459
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,098
Like, what was I afraid of?
460
00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:39,058
Mmhmm.
I can't do this anymore.
461
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,799
I am afraid of so many things.
462
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:42,539
What does that mean?
463
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:43,018
You can go.
464
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,193
This is my fault anyway
465
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:45,629
and I've done this, like,
a hundred times.
466
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:49,503
Listen, if you need anything,
anything at all,
467
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:50,852
just don't call me.
468
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:53,159
Bye Emily.
469
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:56,118
Oh, bye- whoa, you have
gorgeous teeth.
470
00:17:56,118 --> 00:18:00,122
Thank you. Okay.
471
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:05,084
Wait. Did you know I can name
every country in South America?
472
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,041
No, I didn't.
473
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:08,870
- Okay. Um, I can.
- Okay.
474
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:10,089
- Venezuela.
- Yeah.
475
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,960
- Ecuador.
- I deserve this.
476
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,048
Colombia, Paraguay.
477
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:20,969
Oh, look what the cat
dragged in.
478
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:23,014
It's nice to see you
too, Dad.
479
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:26,975
Look, um... I had a near-death
experience today
480
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:31,327
and, I don't know, I don't wanna
die with things left unsaid.
481
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:33,112
I'm listening.
482
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,330
Anyway, I just wanted you
to know
483
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,245
that you're a terrible father
484
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:39,292
who never had my back and
I want you to rot in hell.
485
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:47,300
So that's it.
Those are the two items.
486
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,171
Well look, uh...
you came this far,
487
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,347
at least come in
and have a beer.
488
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:52,653
Did you just hear what I said?
489
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:56,352
Yeah. Bad father and, uh...
the rotting thing.
490
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:57,745
You want a beer or not?
491
00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:00,617
What kind you got?
492
00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:04,143
Rainier. I've been drinking
the same beer since I was 12.
493
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,275
You too good for Rainier now?
494
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:08,538
I've always been too good
for Rainier.
495
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:09,887
What are you, like, 100 now?
496
00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:13,630
French Guyana.
Regular Guyana. Chile.
497
00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:15,632
Argentina.
498
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:17,068
Hang on,
I have to get that.
499
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,157
Wait. No, please don't
leave me.
500
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:18,896
No, you'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
501
00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:20,246
Eat your cereal.
502
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,117
Sorry, I don't have any milk.
I know it's dry.
503
00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:24,163
Hi.
504
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,164
I'm so happy to see you.
505
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,035
Yeah, you too.
506
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:27,992
As a tantric exercise
507
00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:30,081
I've abstained from sex
for three months.
508
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:33,172
I intend to focus all that
stored-up energy on you.
509
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,783
Suriname!
I forgot Suriname.
510
00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:37,524
- Uh...
- Who's that?
511
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:40,222
Is she going to participate
or... just watch?
512
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,093
No. There was an office fridge
mix up
513
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,095
and now she's in
another dimension.
514
00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:47,055
Uh... I'm gonna have to stay
here and take care of her.
515
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:51,277
But when she comes down
I could text you.
516
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,235
Three months is
a really long time
517
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:55,977
and I have a few other friends
in Seattle.
518
00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:57,283
But I'll be back in August.
519
00:19:58,414 --> 00:19:59,459
Bye Victoria.
520
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:00,982
'Kay. Bye. Cool.
521
00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:05,291
- Can I tell you something?
- Yeah. Of course.
522
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:07,771
I only got my job
523
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:11,210
because of connections
in the mayor's office, so...
524
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,300
I don't deserve it,
I'm a fraud.
525
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,302
That's not true.
That's the drugs talking.
526
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:18,304
Everyone thinks you're great.
527
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:21,045
- Really?
- Yeah. You're great.
528
00:20:21,176 --> 00:20:22,264
You're my best friend.
529
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:25,441
Oh, okay.
That's... that's really nice.
530
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:27,226
Hang on.
531
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:28,966
Hello?
532
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:30,098
Oh, you were right.
533
00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:32,579
These chocolates
are a game-changer.
534
00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:34,276
Maya called her mom,
she picked up the kids,
535
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:36,583
we got the whole night
to ourselves.
536
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:39,238
Wait. Are you seriously
calling me post sex?
537
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,283
Yeah, post.
Pre. Pre-pre.
538
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:42,545
You never know.
539
00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:44,721
Oh, Victoria, you're gonna need
to hold me.
540
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,462
I'm starting to panic
about climate change.
541
00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:51,337
Oh, my God.
We ate the fortune cookies.
542
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:53,730
Oh, and they were
mighty delicious.
543
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:55,515
Freaky Friday baby!
544
00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:59,214
- ♪ Always count on me
- Oh boy.
545
00:20:59,214 --> 00:21:00,476
Hello Mister Mayor.
546
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:04,175
♪ Keep turning,
oh, keep smiling, ♪
547
00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:07,744
♪ knowing you can
always count on me. ♪
548
00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:09,746
♪ Everybody!
For sure! ♪
549
00:21:09,746 --> 00:21:11,270
Oh, I'm going really,
really wide with this.
550
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,272
♪ That's what friends are for.
551
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,838
Adopt these dogs!
37866
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