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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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(SNICKERING)
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00:00:22,957 --> 00:00:24,987
Hey, hey, Wacky Race fans,
Brick Crashman here,
4
00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:28,159
in the charming village of
Stackendoodle Burgenhauser,
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00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:29,398
capital of Vulgaria.
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00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:30,803
This old-world hamlet
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00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:32,725
is legendary for
its excruciating friendliness.
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00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,970
Ow! (STRAINING)
Really, really friendly.
9
00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:36,666
Stop it, will you?
I'm working!
10
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,707
Today, Vulgaria
is crowning its new king,
11
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,882
Prince Blanderhooven
Von Stuffenwaffel,
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00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,811
and is celebrating
with a royal race.
13
00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:45,447
And here comes
the king-to-be now.
14
00:00:45,512 --> 00:00:47,312
Hello! Hello!
15
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,051
Who wants to get ice cream?
16
00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:51,816
Oh, hello! Hello!
17
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:54,516
Isn't it a lovely day?
Toodles!
18
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:56,158
Greetings, my loving subjects.
19
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:58,664
You are all looking
just smashing today.
20
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,726
And there is the Prince's
power man uncle
21
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,434
and temporary ruler
of Vulgaria...
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00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:04,227
-Peasant! Peasant!
-...until the Prince's coronation,
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00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:07,568
-the noble count,
Count Insidious Carbuncle. -Peasant!
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00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:10,295
Tell us, Count,
are you looking forward to all your new free time
25
00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,571
after the Prince's coronation
forces you out of power
26
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,840
into a boring, dreary and meaningless life
27
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:16,709
in which you'll be
quickly forgotten in history?
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-Peasant!
-(YELPS)
29
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-Pheasant!
-Isn't it a lovely day?
30
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-Pleasant!
-I'll take that as a "maybe."
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Oh, my!
(EXCLAIMING EXCITEDLY)
32
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Hello there, you.
You must be the Wacky Racers.
33
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,432
It's simply smashing
to meet you all.
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00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:33,231
Really it is.
Simply smashing. (LAUGHS)
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Bleh! The Prince is
the spitting image of Dastardly.
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Uh-huh, no spitting.
(GROANS)
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00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:41,539
Hmm, that gives me an idea,
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00:01:41,603 --> 00:01:45,673
worthy of an episodic
television adventure series guest villain.
39
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,339
If I replace
our do-gooder prince
40
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:50,238
with that hideously deformed
racer person,
41
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:54,481
I would keep
my evil stranglehold on this country forever!
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(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
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-Peasant!
-(YELPS)
44
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-Your Highness?
-Hello there.
45
00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:03,188
-Would you like
to start the race? -Oh, what fun.
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I'm ever so grand
at starting things.
47
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:08,699
Start the race,
you mutton-headed monarch!
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00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,972
(LAUGHS) He's a nasty one.
49
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:14,141
Off you go,
you wonderful racers, you. Tally-ho!
50
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-(ENGINES REVVING)
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
51
00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:20,303
(BRICK GRUNTING, COUGHING)
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MUTTLEY: Hmm?
53
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-(MUTTLEY GASPS)
-(ENGINE REVS)
54
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Muttley, activate the--
55
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:38,591
Muttley, why is there a rope
tied around my-- (SCREAMS)
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00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:40,960
(GRUNTS) You!
What do you think you're doing?
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-This.
-(GROANS)
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(DASTARDLY GRUMBLING
INDISTINCTLY)
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Oh, my silly sausages.
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00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:50,144
I hardly think that's
appropriate pork for a bag.
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00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,614
What's going on?
Where am I? Who are you?
62
00:02:52,674 --> 00:02:55,014
Why are the best cartoons
only available on the Internet?
63
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I am
Count Insidious Von Carbuncle,
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00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,981
rapacious regent of Vulgaria,
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-and your sadistic captor.
-Oh!
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00:03:01,850 --> 00:03:04,720
It is my ingenious plan
to replace the real Prince with you,
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00:03:04,786 --> 00:03:08,456
-so that I may keep power--
-Yes, yes, yes, I've readThe Prince and the Pauper.
68
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,162
We do this plot all the time.
69
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:12,364
I utterly refuse
to have anything to do
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00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:16,126
with such a despicable,
duplicitous, downright devious--
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00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:18,697
I'll make you Vulgaria's
racing champion for life.
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I'll do it.
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Dastardly?
Dastardly, where are you?
74
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,610
Dastardly, are you in there?
75
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:26,841
Dicky? Oh, Dicky old buddy?
76
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,937
Yoohoo, nasty fellow?
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00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,809
Are you about,
you dear, terrible man, you?
78
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,379
-Yoohoo!
-Got you.
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00:03:33,448 --> 00:03:35,248
Prince, where'd you go,
new buddy?
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00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,976
Oh, there you are.
I've missed you.
81
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:39,851
Get your hands off me,
you noodle brain--
82
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Um, new... New friend.
(CHUCKLES DRYLY)
83
00:03:42,857 --> 00:03:47,857
I say, old bean, uh,
time I pop off back to the castle for my coronation.
84
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:50,655
-Don't you know.
-What about finding Dastardly?
85
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,231
Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine.
86
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,640
From what I've heard,
Richard Milhous Dastardly
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is a world-renowned raconteur,
athlete, inventor, orator, bon vivant
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and creative genius.
89
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,507
Dicky? Ha! You're funny.
90
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,476
(GRUMBLES)
91
00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:07,445
Ouch! Ow! That's too tight.
92
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:09,284
Ow! Ouch!
93
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:11,650
This is some quality mirrors
you got going on here, new buddy.
94
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:12,918
Mind if I take it for a spin?
95
00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:14,717
So, Prince Von Stuffenwaffel,
96
00:04:14,789 --> 00:04:16,919
I'd love to hear
more about your plans to help your people.
97
00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:19,061
I do have a series
of rather brilliant reforms
98
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:21,056
designed to stimulate
the economy.
99
00:04:21,129 --> 00:04:24,629
My first act as King will be
to create a new holiday called "King Day."
100
00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,729
Then, I'm cutting taxes
on all rich people,
101
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,570
and raising them
on poor people.
102
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:31,106
But, aren't rich people
the one with all the money?
103
00:04:31,172 --> 00:04:32,912
Perfidious
peasant propaganda!
104
00:04:32,974 --> 00:04:35,644
-You clearly
don't understand economics! -PETER: Ow!
105
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:38,010
There's something fishy
going on around here.
106
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:40,008
Um, how so?
107
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,950
You're not like the Prince
I read about.
108
00:04:42,016 --> 00:04:43,716
Don't believe anything
you read.
109
00:04:43,785 --> 00:04:46,115
Especially don't believe that!
It's fake news.
110
00:04:46,187 --> 00:04:48,957
Hmm, "Discuss evil plans,
replace Prince,
111
00:04:49,023 --> 00:04:50,463
"be coronated in his place,
112
00:04:50,525 --> 00:04:52,955
"enact poorly thought of
economic policy"?
113
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:55,927
(GASPS) Why, this is
a very evil to-do list.
114
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,326
You're not the Prince!
You're Dastardly!
115
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:02,639
And you're working with
Count Carbuncle.
116
00:05:02,704 --> 00:05:04,914
What have you done with
the real Prince?
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00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:08,182
Stay back.
I don't respond to threats.
118
00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:10,282
But I do respond
extraordinarily well to violence.
119
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:13,354
Carbuncle has the Prince
locked up in the tower.
120
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:15,984
You'll remain here
as my prisoner, Prince Stuffenwaffel,
121
00:05:16,051 --> 00:05:19,591
until after the coronation
when that fool, Dastardly, is crowned in your place.
122
00:05:19,654 --> 00:05:22,464
Then he shall name me Regent,
and I will deal with you both.
123
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,233
PENELOPE:
Then I'd start dealing, Count.
124
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,632
Ha! Didn't count on us,
did you, Count?
125
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:31,525
Oh, look, it's the good guys.
(LAUGHS) How marvelous.
126
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,428
Huzzah! Huzzah, I say!
127
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:37,971
Curses! My plans are foiled.
I surrender.
128
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,138
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
129
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,176
Well, uh, that was easy.
130
00:05:41,243 --> 00:05:44,713
Hmm, that's every strange.
This episode wrapped up several minutes early.
131
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:46,779
You don't suspect
the writers are leaving time
132
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,147
for an unexpected plot twist,
133
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:51,815
-do you? (GASPS)
-(DOOR CLOSES)
134
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,615
-(SNICKERING)
-MEN: Plot twist!
135
00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:57,528
And now, I'm off to be King.
So long, suckers.
136
00:05:57,592 --> 00:05:59,392
You are tower guards,
are you not?
137
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,230
Oh, we're
the best tower guards
138
00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:03,155
in all of
Stackendoodle Burgenhauser, Your Highness.
139
00:06:03,231 --> 00:06:06,231
But, actually, there's
not a lot of competion. This is the only cell.
140
00:06:06,301 --> 00:06:09,841
Fine. Then as your Prince,
I order you not to let these prisoners out,
141
00:06:09,904 --> 00:06:12,614
-until after my coronation.
-Oh, just as you say, Sire.
142
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:15,483
We will let everyone out
for the coronation.
143
00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:18,953
No, don't let anyone out
until after the coronation.
144
00:06:19,013 --> 00:06:22,223
Don't start coronation
until after we let everyone out, got it.
145
00:06:22,283 --> 00:06:24,123
No! Keep them in there!
146
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,994
-(CHUCKLES) Well, obviously.
-Good.
147
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,723
So, I'll let 'em out now,
shall I?
148
00:06:27,789 --> 00:06:30,789
For the last time,
don't let these prisoners out
149
00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:32,657
until after my coronation.
150
00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:34,427
Oh, you should've said that
the first time.
151
00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,525
Remind me to banish you
after I'm King.
152
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:41,297
-Will do, Your Highness.
-I'll write it in my reminder binder.
153
00:06:41,369 --> 00:06:43,769
Do you have a pencil,
and a reminder binder?
154
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:47,107
I hate you.
155
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,244
Yoohoo, guards!
You can let us out now.
156
00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:50,940
Oh, I don't think so. No.
157
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,781
Yeah, we're not
as dopey as we look.
158
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:56,147
But your Prince
commands you to let us out. Tell 'em, Prince.
159
00:06:56,217 --> 00:06:58,687
Oh, uh, yes.
(CHUCKLES) What she said.
160
00:06:58,753 --> 00:07:01,923
Hey, how'd you
get back in the cell? That's impossible.
161
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:04,289
Unless, you're magic.
162
00:07:04,358 --> 00:07:08,028
I am? (LAUGHS EXCITEDLY)
How nice for me. Huzzah!
163
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,925
Yes! The Prince is magic.
So let him out.
164
00:07:10,999 --> 00:07:14,399
Hey, if he's all magic,
why can't he let himself out?
165
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:19,468
He already has.
Just look out the window.
166
00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:22,881
Well, I'll be. The Prince is
down there, all right.
167
00:07:22,944 --> 00:07:27,944
I better let him out,
so he can catch up with himself.
168
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,217
Good people of Vulgaria,
169
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:34,385
we are here today
to crown the new king.
170
00:07:34,456 --> 00:07:38,756
But first, the history of
the Vulgarian monarchy is a long and boring one...
171
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:41,386
(CLEARS THROAT)
...which I will tell right now.
172
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,531
(SIGHS)
173
00:07:42,597 --> 00:07:44,727
Long ago,
many years in the past,
174
00:07:44,799 --> 00:07:47,399
people used to imagine
the future, which is now the present,
175
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:49,698
and uh, the time stream...
Not a stream like a,
176
00:07:49,771 --> 00:07:52,311
like a river-type stream.
(STUTTERS) It's a stream of...
177
00:07:52,373 --> 00:07:55,343
Now, all we have to do
is stop this ceremony
178
00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:59,109
and replace Dastardly
with the real Prince.
179
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,549
Where is the Prince?
180
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:01,754
He's disappeared.
181
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,615
He is magic! Cool!
182
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,994
He must have
wandered off somewhere between the tower and here.
183
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:08,864
Hello, nice racer people?
184
00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:12,133
I seem to have taken
this "wrong turn" thingy. Hello?
185
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:14,632
We have to stop Dastardly
becoming King.
186
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,695
One of us has to take
Dastardly's place
187
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:19,704
-until we can find the Prince.
-But how do we do that?
188
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,437
Well, I do think
strictly about the rook.
189
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,742
I mean, uh, book. I do move
diagonally, occasionally.
190
00:08:23,805 --> 00:08:25,835
-(GROANING)
-I can also move in other directions as well.
191
00:08:25,907 --> 00:08:29,407
That's enough!
Just get to the part where you crown me!
192
00:08:29,477 --> 00:08:30,847
Oh... (STUTTERS)
Of course, Your Highness.
193
00:08:30,912 --> 00:08:33,682
To complete the ceremony,
we need three things.
194
00:08:33,748 --> 00:08:37,578
A royal candidate,
a royal crown and the royal seal.
195
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:38,921
And, here he is.
196
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,116
-(BARKS)
-(GASPS)
197
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,857
(ALL CHEERING)
198
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,062
Seriously?
199
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,893
With these
three requirements met,
200
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:48,528
I crown you,
King of Vul--
201
00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:50,695
(BARKING)
202
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,304
What are you waiting for?
203
00:08:52,367 --> 00:08:53,837
Well, we've got to have
the seal to complete the ceremony.
204
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,501
(SIGHS) Oh, good grief,
I'll get him.
205
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:57,469
Okay, let's get this show
on the road.
206
00:08:57,538 --> 00:09:00,438
Oh, Your Highness, uh,
you look-- Ooh, different.
207
00:09:00,508 --> 00:09:01,738
Thanks, I've been working out.
208
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,409
-Chop, chop, Bishop.
-(SEAL BARKING)
209
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:06,977
I hereby proclaim
Prince Von Stuffenwaffel to be...
210
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,977
Okay, Bishop, king me.
211
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,490
(MEOWING)
212
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,352
Oh, my goodness, my Prince.
You-- You've grown.
213
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,320
-(MEOWS)
-Prince eat kitty.
214
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,059
He means vegetables.
215
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:20,764
Prince eat vegetables
and kitty.
216
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,027
-Whoa!
-(MEOWS)
217
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,555
Crown me, and I'll be king.
218
00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:25,901
(STUTTERING) Crown.
Of course, my Prince.
219
00:09:25,967 --> 00:09:28,067
Wait, this seal hasn't had
its shot yet.
220
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:29,835
I can't let him spread
seal flu.
221
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,103
This is getting ridiculous.
222
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,811
Tell me about it.
223
00:09:33,875 --> 00:09:37,035
Hurry up, and crown me!
I have a reign of terror to get underway.
224
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,710
Uh, immediately,
Your Highness.
225
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,108
(HARP MUSIC PLAYING)
226
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,881
-(GASPS)
-(CRASHES)
227
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:46,050
Hurry up, I've got
matters of grave importance to attend to.
228
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,769
Okay, okay.
229
00:09:52,226 --> 00:09:53,656
If you're ready,
Your Highness.
230
00:09:53,728 --> 00:09:55,858
I'd like to check my hair.
Do you have a mirror?
231
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,499
Oh, I think so.
232
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,074
(GROANS)
233
00:09:59,134 --> 00:10:02,074
-(PETER GROANING)
-Yeah, I did have a mirror, Your Majesty.
234
00:10:02,136 --> 00:10:03,966
I don't care! Crown me,
235
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,307
you conveniently
confused cleric.
236
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:09,283
At last, the crown is mine!
237
00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:12,583
-(BLOWS)
-(COUGHING)
238
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:15,146
(COUGHING)
239
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,975
And now-- Uh, Your Highness?
240
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,390
Down here, bub.
241
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:23,824
He's not the Prince.
I'm the Prince.
242
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,590
No, no, I'm the Prince.
243
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:29,160
(LAUGHS) Hey, that's mine.
244
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:30,299
(GRUNTS)
245
00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:31,904
Tiny, King.
246
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,565
I'm dead set on being King.
247
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,074
-(GRUNTS)
-I'm too pretty not to be King.
248
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,535
-(GRUNTS)
-The crown is mine.
249
00:10:36,604 --> 00:10:39,574
-No, it's mine. I'm the King.
-Give it to me!
250
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,679
No! Me!
251
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,641
-(BOTH GRUNT)
-I'm the King already.
252
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,740
Peasant! You're all peasants!
253
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,351
No! No! No!
254
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:49,953
Crown me! I demand
you crown me at once!
255
00:10:50,018 --> 00:10:53,148
Simply smashing entertainment
for the coronation, isn't it?
256
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:54,520
COUNT CARBUNCLE: Peasant!
257
00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,858
(LAUGHS) We should do these
more often.
258
00:10:56,923 --> 00:11:00,563
(SNICKERING)
259
00:11:00,628 --> 00:11:02,428
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
260
00:11:02,478 --> 00:11:07,028
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20115
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