All language subtitles for Wacky Races s05e13 Wack to the Future.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:04,418 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,453 (SNICKERING) 3 00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:27,663 Let me assist you, I.Q. 4 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:28,928 Thank you, I.Q. 5 00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:30,426 Here are those equations we need, I.Q. 6 00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:33,298 I couldn't have done this better myself, I.Q. 7 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,297 And you didn't, I.Q. 8 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,369 (ALL LAUGHING) 9 00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:39,066 Very witty. You're so clever. 10 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:42,340 Muttley, today, we are going to pilfer any apparatus 11 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,750 that addled-brained adolescent has invented 12 00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:47,482 that might assist me to win today's race. 13 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,848 I.Q.: Hi, there, Mr. Dastardly. 14 00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,486 Long time no see. 15 00:00:50,552 --> 00:00:52,722 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) It wasn't me! No! Muttley did it! 16 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:56,186 I'd be happy to testify against him. 17 00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:58,357 Hello, Dick. It's been a while. 18 00:00:58,425 --> 00:00:59,985 Still pointlessly cheating 19 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,301 in self-destructive and unhealthy ways? 20 00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,402 Why do you look so old? 21 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,434 I'm not old. I'm barely 40. 22 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:10,540 40? Ugh. Cover your shame. 23 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:12,044 -Hello, Mr. Dastardly. -(GASPS) 24 00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,766 I.Q., what is going on here? 25 00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:16,081 These are future versions of myself. 26 00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:18,183 They've come back in time to help me 27 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,205 invent the time machine 28 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,380 that will allow them to travel back 29 00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,318 in time to help me invent it. 30 00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:26,554 You realize you never make any sense at all? 31 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,190 Hi, guys. 32 00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:30,926 It's just an ontological, multi-actual, non-causational 33 00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,761 temporal transverse time loop. 34 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,926 -Huh? -Of course. Simple. 35 00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:37,425 What kind of brainless buffoon would not understand that? 36 00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:39,027 Oh, Dicky. How's it going? 37 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,870 -Speak of the devil. -Oh, look. 38 00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:42,635 A time machine that's causing an ontological, 39 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:43,973 multi-actual, non-causational 40 00:01:44,038 --> 00:01:45,908 temporal transverse time loop. Cool! 41 00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:48,813 Shiny lights! Oh, can I take a selfie? 42 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:51,376 (ELECTRICITY ZAPPING) 43 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,175 -(ROARS) -Oopsie. 44 00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:56,477 Peter has brought a dinosaur forward in time! 45 00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:57,850 Cheese! 46 00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:01,458 (LASERS FIRING) 47 00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:04,321 (SCREAMING) 48 00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:06,831 (ROARS) 49 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:09,464 Hmm. A mind control beanie. 50 00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:10,659 What use would that be? 51 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,201 I can already control people 52 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,896 with my charismatic charm and savoir faire. 53 00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,439 Ah! Dastardly! 54 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,013 Gadzooks! Who might you be? 55 00:02:18,072 --> 00:02:20,512 I'm the future Dick Dastardly come back to stop you 56 00:02:20,575 --> 00:02:23,405 from making the biggest mistake of your life! 57 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,007 You smell like a wet yak. 58 00:02:25,079 --> 00:02:26,379 Why should I listen to you? 59 00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:29,347 Because if you don't, your life will be 60 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:30,776 a continuous series 61 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,821 of failure, humiliation, 62 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:36,256 and cheap slapstick sight gags. 63 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,363 Like that. 64 00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:42,696 Don't steal that. Take this instead. 65 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,433 No, I don't want to. I want that. 66 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,268 I am older and wiser! 67 00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:49,204 I want the super cool blaster beam! 68 00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,800 That's exactly how I ended up 69 00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,841 a smelly, gross, slightly sticky old man 70 00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:57,237 with one tooth and a pet cockroach that lives in my nose! 71 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,010 Hi, everybody. 72 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,949 The day I chose to steal 73 00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:04,216 that stupid blaster 74 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:07,745 instead of a mind control device that would've made me 75 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,261 the most powerful man on Earth! 76 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:13,464 You want it so much, then you and your nose bug can just take it. 77 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,697 Fine. I will! 78 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:15,761 I hope you do! 79 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,499 BOTH: Goodbye! 80 00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:18,734 Ah! 81 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,539 Good gravy. I was a complete nitwit. 82 00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,602 (MUTTLEY AGREEING) 83 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,470 (ROARING) 84 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,039 Now, I just need someone 85 00:03:27,108 --> 00:03:29,038 to help me operate the time machine. 86 00:03:29,110 --> 00:03:30,340 Say cheese, Dicky. 87 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:31,951 Speaking of spoiled dairy products, 88 00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:33,982 have you changed your aftershave? I like it. 89 00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:35,978 Listen to me, you Herculean half-wit. 90 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:38,050 I need your feckless fingers 91 00:03:38,119 --> 00:03:40,189 to facilitate my flight to the future! 92 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:42,464 Hmm, that sounds like an oddly specific request 93 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,123 that could have catastrophic results. 94 00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:45,290 Okay! 95 00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:48,358 (CRACKLING) 96 00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,758 (ROARS) 97 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,071 What happened? 98 00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:53,833 Someone activated the time machine. 99 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,601 But if whoever did that isn't careful, 100 00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:57,770 they could change the course of the future. 101 00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:58,838 How? 102 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,436 Like that. 103 00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:02,538 -Hi, y'all. What's going on here? -I have no idea. 104 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,880 I'm pretty sure someone used my time machine to alter their past, 105 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:08,146 which could radically alter the time stream 106 00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:11,315 with possibly catastrophic results! 107 00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:12,194 (COUGHS) 108 00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:14,963 I.Q. I came back to warn me. 109 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:19,162 The future has become a dystopian nightmare. 110 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:22,096 There's only one thing to do. 111 00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,102 (FIRING) 112 00:04:23,164 --> 00:04:27,234 You must destroy Dick Dastardly. 113 00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:31,971 Well, okey-dokey with me. Tiny? 114 00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,309 Okay. That's that. 115 00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:37,614 Tiny, give him back. And no digesting. 116 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:41,448 I was wearing shoes. 117 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:42,875 (MEOWS) 118 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,520 Hey, these shoes aren't mine. 119 00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:48,716 I must save the future from Dick Dastardly! 120 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:52,659 Eat hot justice, tyrant! 121 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,386 (EXPLOSION) 122 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:58,371 (LAUGHS) Tickles. 123 00:04:58,431 --> 00:05:00,701 (SCREAMS) 124 00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:01,797 MUTTLEY: Uh-oh. 125 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,869 (SCREAMING) 126 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:08,508 -We need to stop I.Q. -On it! 127 00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:11,376 Leave Dastardly alone, you fiend! 128 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:14,345 It's not me! I mean, it is me, but not yet. 129 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:16,875 Don't try to confuse me with your science-y fact talk. 130 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,150 I get my news from cable television. 131 00:05:19,220 --> 00:05:21,220 DASTARDLY: All right, you perspicacious protege! 132 00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:25,628 Prepare for some prodigious payback! 133 00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:27,402 Drat. 134 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:30,401 Dastardly must have changed something in our future's timeline. 135 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,874 That's why the I.Q.s are coming back 136 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,643 to stop him! 137 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:39,173 I've been sent from the future to destroy wacky racers 138 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,180 and bring Dastardly to the future. 139 00:05:41,242 --> 00:05:43,942 Oh, no, you don't. 140 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,563 (ALL YELLING) 141 00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:55,086 Sweet Georgia peaches! 142 00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:58,315 I.Q., do something to stop yourself! 143 00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:00,891 I'll try! 144 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:04,401 (YELLING) 145 00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:07,025 Hasta la vista, racers. 146 00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:10,471 The cyborg from the future talks in cliches. 147 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:14,837 What a surprise! 148 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:17,078 Hey! You weren't supposed to eat me. 149 00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:18,354 Why were you acting like that? 150 00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,182 He must've been mind controlled. 151 00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:21,917 But the only thing that could do that 152 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:24,222 is my mind control beanie back in the lab. 153 00:06:24,285 --> 00:06:26,585 Ah. Yes. Funny story. 154 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:30,064 A deranged and smelly version of myself from the future 155 00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:33,564 did pop by earlier and steal your beanie thing. 156 00:06:33,628 --> 00:06:35,358 But what would you do with that power? 157 00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,529 Well, offhand, I'd probably conquer the world, 158 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,668 and send an army of robotic Muttleys back in time 159 00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:42,174 to make sure the timeline stays the way I wanted it. 160 00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:43,796 I mean, I guess I would, I'm just-- 161 00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:46,011 Got it on the first try, old bean. 162 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,583 Surrender past Dastardly to me immediately 163 00:06:48,643 --> 00:06:51,113 so I may ensure he will become me 164 00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,978 or I will destroy you all! 165 00:06:53,047 --> 00:06:56,517 Oh, yeah? You and what army? 166 00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,594 PETER: Oh, that army. PENELOPE: Dastardly. 167 00:06:58,653 --> 00:07:00,653 You really suck eggs, you know that? 168 00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,391 Get him! 169 00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:07,456 We have to keep Dastardly away from himself. 170 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,632 Down there! 171 00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,126 I'm not going down there! 172 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:16,198 It smells like Perfect's gym shorts on taco Tuesday. 173 00:07:17,939 --> 00:07:21,009 Don't worry, my robotic hordes. We'll find them! 174 00:07:21,075 --> 00:07:25,125 It's only a matter of time. 175 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:31,216 (ON TV)This is your State-metered mouthpiece, Brick Crashman, 176 00:07:31,286 --> 00:07:34,986 celebrating 20 years of Dick Dastardly's reign of dystopian terror. 177 00:07:35,056 --> 00:07:40,026 Oh, I can't believe Brick works for the Emperor now. 178 00:07:40,094 --> 00:07:41,634 Hey, we were watching that. 179 00:07:41,696 --> 00:07:43,226 Not that there's anything else to do 180 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,167 in this horrible, disgusting filthy sewer. 181 00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,732 How about another game of plop ball? 182 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,401 (SNICKERING) 183 00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:52,770 We've been playing plop ball for 20 years! 184 00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:54,069 And I never win! 185 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,611 What's going on, I.Q.? 186 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:58,046 I think I know how we can reset the timeline to before 187 00:07:58,112 --> 00:08:00,212 Emperor Dastardly took over the world. 188 00:08:00,281 --> 00:08:03,081 If we're gonna pull it off, we'll have to sneak back 189 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,950 into the old Wacky Races Headquarters. 190 00:08:05,019 --> 00:08:08,119 But that's one of the most heavily guarded places in the world. 191 00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:09,958 We'll never get out alive. 192 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,563 I love this plan. 193 00:08:11,626 --> 00:08:15,456 It's still better than playing plop ball with Perfect. 194 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,829 This is never going to work. 195 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,128 We have to try, Dastardly. 196 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,139 Now, just like we practiced. 197 00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:23,401 DASTARDLY: Uh, um, yes. 198 00:08:23,471 --> 00:08:25,641 (CLEARS THROAT) Attention, my mechanical mutts! 199 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:28,676 I am your ruler, Emperor Dastardly. 200 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,282 And these are, uh... 201 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,905 (WHISPERS) Your guards. 202 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,720 -My jars! -Huh? 203 00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:38,652 I order you to allow us to pass. At once! 204 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:43,088 (MUTTERING) 205 00:08:43,157 --> 00:08:45,057 I.Q.: Look! My time machine! 206 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,855 By golly, that was easy. 207 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,627 Well, of course, my dear. 208 00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,596 Never doubt the clever coruscations of Richard Milhouse-- 209 00:08:50,665 --> 00:08:53,195 -Dastardly! -(SNICKERING) 210 00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:54,837 It was a trap! 211 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,702 EMPEROR DASTARDLY: Of course it was a trap, you fools! 212 00:08:56,771 --> 00:08:58,441 I know everything you're about to do 213 00:08:58,506 --> 00:09:00,606 -because I've already lived through it! -Huh? 214 00:09:00,675 --> 00:09:02,705 Just like I know you're about to bash me 215 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:03,946 with that wrench, Pitstop. 216 00:09:04,012 --> 00:09:05,752 (STAMMERING) Oh, I wasn't going to bash you. 217 00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:09,983 I was, uh, just admiring your distinctive profile. 218 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,020 Mmm. Handsome. 219 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,045 Oh, do you really think so? 220 00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,491 Ha, it's not even my good side. Aah! 221 00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,427 Now you can't remember what's going to happen next! 222 00:09:18,492 --> 00:09:20,162 Well played, Pitstop. 223 00:09:20,228 --> 00:09:23,028 Time to eviscerate everyone's existence into the ether! 224 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,996 Mutt-bots! Sic 'em! 225 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,536 Head for the time machine, I.Q. 226 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:31,101 This is your chance to rest the timeline! 227 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,071 (SCREAMS) 228 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,990 Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. 229 00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:41,577 (ROARS) 230 00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,319 It worked. I'm back in my past. 231 00:09:43,384 --> 00:09:45,924 Or Dastardly's past. Or wherever! 232 00:09:45,987 --> 00:09:48,487 -Dastardly! -Gadzooks! Who might you be? 233 00:09:48,556 --> 00:09:50,086 I'm the future Dick Dastardly, 234 00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:51,487 come back to stop you 235 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:54,059 from making the biggest mistake of your life! 236 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,797 PETER: Oh, hi, there, I.Q. Selfie? 237 00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:58,903 Hey, Peter. Let me show you how to use this time machine. 238 00:09:58,967 --> 00:10:01,437 See this lever that reads "self destruct"? 239 00:10:01,502 --> 00:10:02,842 That's how you turn it on. 240 00:10:02,904 --> 00:10:05,214 Really? That seems oddly unnecessary and cryptic. 241 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,472 -Got it! -Great. 242 00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,240 Now, I think Dastardly needs your help. 243 00:10:08,309 --> 00:10:12,009 He does? Gangway! I'm coming, old buddy! 244 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,850 Now, I just need someone to help me operate the time machine. 245 00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,316 Say cheese, Dicky. 246 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,654 Speaking of spoiled dairy products, 247 00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,119 have you changed your aftershave? 248 00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:22,257 Listen to me, you Herculean half-wit. 249 00:10:22,323 --> 00:10:24,363 I need your feckless fingers 250 00:10:24,425 --> 00:10:26,655 to facilitate my flight to the future! 251 00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:28,596 Okay. 252 00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:29,902 (EXPLOSION) 253 00:10:29,964 --> 00:10:32,674 What? But if the time machine is destroyed 254 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:35,603 then I could never use it to come back from the future! 255 00:10:35,670 --> 00:10:37,870 I.Q. CLONES: Neither could we! 256 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,168 Hi, y'all. What's going on? 257 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:40,609 A recursive time loop paradox reset. 258 00:10:40,675 --> 00:10:42,235 Oh, and my ice cream is back. 259 00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:46,150 Well, you can bet I'll never build another time machine. 260 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:47,383 Yes, you will, 261 00:10:47,448 --> 00:10:49,478 which causes the future to be conquered 262 00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:54,550 by genetically engineered time-traveling Octo-Muttleys. 263 00:10:55,623 --> 00:10:57,963 -But... But... -Drat. 264 00:10:58,025 --> 00:11:01,355 (SNICKERING) 265 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,628 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 266 00:11:03,678 --> 00:11:08,228 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 18994

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