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1
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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:21,086
(SNICKERING)
3
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,802
CAROLERS:♪ Oh, Christmas show
4
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,904
♪ Oh, Christmas show
5
00:00:31,966 --> 00:00:35,666
♪ It's time to make our Christmas show
6
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:39,666
♪ Out in the snow where wind doth blow
7
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:43,710
♪ Under starlight's golden glow ♪
8
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,377
Get out of my way,
you reprobate revelers!
9
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:47,716
(ALL GASP)
10
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,451
(ALL SCREAM)
11
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:53,747
-(CAROLERS SCREAM)
-Sorry!
12
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:55,321
-Pardon us.
-Happy holidays!
13
00:00:55,390 --> 00:01:00,390
-(CHILD 1 GROANING)
-CHILD 2: It's Christmas.
14
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:03,732
Isn't it lovely
to see folks celebrating the holidays together?
15
00:01:03,798 --> 00:01:05,998
PETER: That's right.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, isn't it?
16
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:08,337
PENELOPE: Ah, I just love
this time of the year.
17
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,942
DASTARDLY: Oh, please!
18
00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:11,844
You can't seriously buy into
all that Christmas nonsense.
19
00:01:11,907 --> 00:01:14,777
PETER: But Dicky,
everybody loves Christmas. What about Santa?
20
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:16,882
Aren't you excited
that Santa comes tomorrow?
21
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:19,014
DASTARDLY: Bah!
Christmas is a cynical ploy
22
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,380
by large international
entertainment conglomerates
23
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:24,619
to increase viewership with
trite holiday-themed episodes
24
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,585
of worn-out television series.
25
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:29,194
Seriously, old buddy.
You really need to get in the holiday spirit.
26
00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:31,427
Well, then,
in the spirit of the holiday,
27
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:36,492
-allow me to extend to you all
a very white Christmas. -(SNICKERING)
28
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,298
Ooh, white Christmas.
I get it.
29
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,670
Ha, that's a good one.
30
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,569
(CHUCKLES EVILLY) Muttley!
31
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,611
Fire the final missile!
32
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,476
(SNICKERING)
33
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:59,253
DASTARDLY: Argh! No!
I meant at them!
34
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:03,819
MUTTLEY: Oh.
35
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:06,261
SANTA: Ho-ho-ho!
36
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:08,656
Whoa, big fella.
37
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,699
Ho-ho-ho!
38
00:02:10,765 --> 00:02:13,725
I have a feeling that
tomorrow night is going to be our best Christmas...
39
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,051
(ALL SCREAMING)
40
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,749
That was refreshing.
41
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:31,216
You galloping goofballs!
Look what you've done!
42
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:34,045
What we've done?
Dastardly, this is all...
43
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:36,121
Ugh, it's hard to scold him
from down here.
44
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:37,689
Whoa! Ooh!
45
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,658
Thanks, Tiny.
46
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:41,827
Dastardly, it is your constant
and bizarrely self-destructive cheating
47
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,655
that always gets us
into these messes.
48
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,570
And at
Christmas time, too, Dicky.
49
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:47,432
For shame.
50
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,771
Christmas, schmistmas.
51
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,996
I'm so tired
of everyone talking about...
52
00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:52,970
Oh.
53
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,440
Oh, no! Are those...
Is that...
54
00:02:55,510 --> 00:02:57,980
-(BEEPING)
-Kringle down! We have a Kringle down!
55
00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,575
Christmas is canceled.
56
00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:01,346
(EXCLAIMS)
57
00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:02,384
Oh, stop it!
58
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,220
Those are just
a pair of old boots,
59
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,485
probably left there by some
eccentric Arctic explorer
60
00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:08,263
who preferred sandals.
61
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,992
Really?
You're going with that?
62
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,557
Well, it's more likely
than a half-buried
63
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:16,596
reverse-kleptomaniac elf
with a glandular condition!
64
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,373
Drat!
65
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:19,731
(ALL SCREAMING)
66
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,600
Double drat!
67
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:29,725
(HUMMING)
68
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:40,891
(SCREAMING)
69
00:03:40,955 --> 00:03:41,985
-(GLASS SHATTERING)
-(CAT YOWLS)
70
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:43,416
Is Santa gonna be okay?
71
00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:46,661
-(BEEPING)
-We have the technology to rebuild him.
72
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,927
We can make him
better, jollier,
73
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,296
maybe give him
giant scissor-hands.
74
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,465
-MRS. CLAUS: No scissor-hands.
-Aw.
75
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:57,114
Santa will be fine.
He's a tough old elf.
76
00:03:57,172 --> 00:04:00,212
You don't think the elves
are mad about what we did to Santa, do you?
77
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:02,444
-(ELVES YELLING)
-(PENELOPE SCREAMING)
78
00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:07,320
-A little bit, yes.
-(PENELOPE SCREAMING)
79
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:10,421
Ah, the sun is up.
It's Christmas Eve.
80
00:04:10,485 --> 00:04:13,685
Children all over
the world will expect Santa Claus tonight.
81
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,224
But he's not coming.
(BLOWS NOSE)
82
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,429
I can't believe
we ruined Christmas.
83
00:04:17,492 --> 00:04:19,262
You still got
one on you there.
84
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:21,287
-(ELF CHITTERING)
-Okay, Abdul, I'm sorry already.
85
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:22,531
Tiny?
86
00:04:22,597 --> 00:04:24,467
-(ELF EXCLAIMS)
-We need to fix this somehow.
87
00:04:24,532 --> 00:04:27,802
Bella's right. We simply must
deliver the presents tonight.
88
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,938
Us? How? We're not magic.
89
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:31,814
We've got
the next best thing to magic.
90
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,442
We have our very own
super-genius.
91
00:04:34,509 --> 00:04:36,679
-Whoa! My spleen.
-Okay, okay. I can take a hint.
92
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:40,184
I'll need a ball of twine,
three used air fresheners, a giraffe from here down,
93
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:42,277
an orange toupee, a salami
and whipped cream sandwich,
94
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:43,980
and a tiny car
full of angry clowns.
95
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:46,421
Hurry, people,
we've got Christmas to save.
96
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:47,686
-Wow.
-Ahem.
97
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,464
Peter, darling, I meant I.Q.
98
00:04:49,524 --> 00:04:53,134
Oh. Okay.
Can I still get the sandwich?
99
00:04:53,195 --> 00:04:58,195
Now, dears, I'm too busy
to see what you've been working on in Santa's garage.
100
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,639
PENELOPE: Trust us,
it's gonna be great!
101
00:05:00,702 --> 00:05:05,702
May I present the latest
in jet-powered, mobile present delivery systems.
102
00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:16,724
(SCREAMS)
103
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:20,023
Oh.
104
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:22,517
-Pretty cool, huh?
-Uh, how do they work?
105
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:26,360
By using my new
molecular present-transposers!
106
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,427
Each of those tablets
has a digital copy
107
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:30,096
of Santa's master
naughty-and-nice list.
108
00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,474
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
109
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,802
We just key in
each destination's present,
110
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,337
indicated
on the good list there,
111
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:37,003
and the central computer
uploads
112
00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:39,571
each gift's data pattern
to the transposer,
113
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,180
which molecularizes
and transmogrifies it
114
00:05:42,243 --> 00:05:43,743
to the proper destination.
115
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:45,580
(BEEPING)
116
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:48,115
(POWERING UP)
117
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,722
Ooh, a new crankshaft,
just what I want...
118
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,094
See? It's foolproof.
119
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,892
Why am I on the naughty list
11,946 times?
120
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,185
(SNICKERING)
121
00:05:56,257 --> 00:05:58,087
Because we stopped counting
in April.
122
00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,888
I'm not sure
this is a good idea.
123
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,560
We usually use magic.
124
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:03,158
Yeah! Old school.
125
00:06:03,231 --> 00:06:06,101
-(EXCLAIMS)
-Please, Mrs. Claus, think of all those children!
126
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,366
-We just can't let them down.
-Uh...
127
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:10,896
Well, I suppose it might work.
128
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,911
You heard the lady, racers.
129
00:06:12,974 --> 00:06:14,674
We're burning daylight
and these presents ain't gonna deliver themselves.
130
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:17,011
Let's do it!
131
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:20,377
(HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING)
132
00:06:33,628 --> 00:06:37,658
-(ELVES YELLING)
-PENELOPE: Argh! My spleen!
133
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:38,801
Ho-ho-ho!
134
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,466
Look, everyone,
I'm all better.
135
00:06:40,535 --> 00:06:43,065
Christmas isn't
canceled after...
136
00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:45,667
(YELLING)
137
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,679
Whoa! (GRUNTS)
138
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,042
We need a stretcher over here!
139
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,550
And those
cybernetic laser eyes!
140
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:55,552
-No laser eyes.
-Aw!
141
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,216
PENELOPE: All right, team.
We gotta deliver
142
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:58,724
all these presents
before sun-up.
143
00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:00,385
Let's do it!
144
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:01,924
PETER: First one done wins?
145
00:07:01,990 --> 00:07:04,590
DASTARDLY: That will be me,
you halfwit holiday ham.
146
00:07:04,659 --> 00:07:06,559
FAMILY:♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly
147
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:10,067
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la
148
00:07:10,131 --> 00:07:13,601
These controls are
a teensy bit more complicated than I thought.
149
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:17,297
Hmm, let's see.
150
00:07:17,371 --> 00:07:21,081
Billy gets a stuffed tiger.
Oh, how sweet.
151
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:24,081
(POWERING UP)
152
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,784
♪ 'Tis the season to be... ♪
153
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:29,447
-(GROWLING)
-(ALL SCREAMING)
154
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:32,446
Why, Santa, why?
155
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,149
Uh...
156
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:38,431
♪ Deck the halls with boughs of... ♪
157
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,631
(SCREAMING)
158
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,364
Why, Santa, why?
159
00:07:42,430 --> 00:07:44,800
♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly
160
00:07:44,866 --> 00:07:46,896
-♪ Fa la la la la... ♪ -(ALL SCREAMING)
161
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,367
Why, Santa, why?
162
00:07:52,607 --> 00:07:54,777
General, we're getting reports
from all over the world.
163
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:57,012
Santa Claus
has apparently turned evil.
164
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,007
(EXCLAIMING)
165
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:00,819
(SCREAMING)
166
00:08:00,882 --> 00:08:03,152
We all knew it would happen
someday, Colonel.
167
00:08:03,217 --> 00:08:05,847
Activate
the Kringle Protocols.
168
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:10,319
(ALARM BLARING)
169
00:08:10,391 --> 00:08:14,441
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
170
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,710
(RADAR BEEPING)
171
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:33,776
COLONEL: (OVER RADIO)Targets acquired. Arming missiles.
172
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,822
-How'd you do?
-Pretty good, I think.
173
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,554
Some of those kids asked
for weird presents though.
174
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,619
-I noticed that, too.
-(MISSILE WHIZZING)
175
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,658
Oh! Christmas cookies!
What was that?
176
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:43,622
That wasn't a cookie,
177
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:44,891
that was
an air-to-air missile.
178
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:45,928
So was that!
179
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:47,693
Someone's shooting at us?
180
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:48,801
(YELLING)
181
00:08:48,863 --> 00:08:51,833
Looks like
everyone's shooting at us.
182
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:54,968
(RACERS SCREAMING)
183
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,935
Look out!
184
00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:58,755
Whoa!
185
00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:05,478
PENELOPE:
Dastardly, watch out!
186
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,046
Perfect, get away from me!
187
00:09:07,115 --> 00:09:10,015
I'm not leaving my wingman.
I saw that at the movies.
188
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,183
(BOTH YELLING)
189
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:19,732
PENELOPE: Uh-oh.
190
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,863
Well, we've had it.
191
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:24,098
This is all your fault,
Muttley!
192
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:27,844
(TEETH CHATTERING)
193
00:09:27,902 --> 00:09:32,572
Isn't this pretty dark
for a Christmas episode?
194
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:35,109
RACERS: Santa!
195
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:36,705
Don't worry,
Miss Tutti Frutti.
196
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:39,307
The big onion
is flopping downtown. Old school.
197
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:41,650
He's still a little woozy
from that last bump,
198
00:09:41,716 --> 00:09:44,146
but don't worry,
he's still my Santa.
199
00:09:44,218 --> 00:09:46,188
All right, now.
It's past bedtime.
200
00:09:46,254 --> 00:09:49,764
You boys and girls
just turn those jets around and get home this minute.
201
00:09:49,824 --> 00:09:52,794
Negative, Santa.
We have orders to eliminate the targets.
202
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:55,330
If you are not all in bed
and fast asleep
203
00:09:55,396 --> 00:09:57,026
by the time
I reach your houses,
204
00:09:57,098 --> 00:09:59,928
then Santa may not leave
any presents under your tree.
205
00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:01,901
COLONEL: (STAMMERS OVER RADIO)Mission aborted.
206
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,469
Returning to base.
207
00:10:03,537 --> 00:10:05,137
Santa, you saved us!
208
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,835
Well, it is
the Christmas episode.
209
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,237
Now then, thanks for trying,
210
00:10:08,309 --> 00:10:09,809
but I think Christmas presents
are something
211
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:12,747
best left to professionals,
don't you?
212
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:13,783
RACERS: Yes, sir!
213
00:10:13,848 --> 00:10:16,148
Well, then,
merry Christmas to all
214
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,286
and to all, a good night.
215
00:10:18,352 --> 00:10:23,322
Peace out.
216
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,290
That was awesome!
217
00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:26,689
Santa is so cool.
218
00:10:26,761 --> 00:10:28,561
-That he is, little buddy.
-Eh.
219
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:31,199
-Dastardly?
-He's okay, I suppose.
220
00:10:31,265 --> 00:10:33,895
By the way, you can keep
the rocket sleighs.
221
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,237
Merry Christmas!
222
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,873
(LAUGHING) I love Santa Claus,
I love him!
223
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,309
I love him!
224
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:43,344
Hold on to your
protrusive proboscis, Muttley!
225
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:45,610
-(SNICKERING)
-(LAUGHING)
226
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,609
Christmas rocks!
227
00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:48,651
All right.
228
00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:51,486
This is better than Halloween.
229
00:10:51,552 --> 00:10:53,492
(ALL CHEERING AND LAUGHING)
230
00:10:53,554 --> 00:10:55,254
Merry Christmas, y'all.
231
00:10:55,304 --> 00:10:59,854
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