All language subtitles for Life With Derek s04e11 How I Met Your Stepbrother.eng

[twinkling
music]

[twinkling
music]

- Emily! - Bonjour.

- Oh, you look amazing!
- Thank you!

- How was France?
- Magnifique! And what do you

think about my new look
for the new year? - I love it!

Can you believe that grade
12 starts in 3 days.

- I know! What do you think
you'll be changing for the new year?

- Other than trading in my
stepbrother, I hadn't really thought about it.

- Emily, you look amazing!
- Thank you!

Are you excited about Vancouver?
- Ah! If by excited you mean,

terrified, then yeah. My flight
leaves Sunday afternoon.

- Oh, c'mon!
It'll be an adventure.

And what a perfect way to get
rid of your annoying boyfriend.

- Casey, I don't want
to get rid of Derek.

Even the thought of saying
goodbye and...

well, I feel like crying.

- So maybe you should
take him with you! - Oh! I only wish I could.

- How does Derek feel
about you leaving? - Well, doesn't seem

to be affecting him.
- Hey, Sals! Check it out... I can juggle.

Oh!

- Ah!
- I can do better than that.

- Well, it's definitely
affected his juggling skills.

- Spoons!

- ♪ Used to be my mother
and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family
and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married,
that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost
and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school...
A new house... ♪

♪ So many changes
it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother
who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie,
Edwin, George and Nora ♪

♪ Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

- For teenagers, the real New
Year is the New School Year.

Time for new resolutions
to make... and break.

Like, Derek could resolve to be

a kinder and gentler soul

as opposed to the
insensitive, immature,

inconsiderate stepbrother he is.

- Boy, am I looking forward

to 3 days of R & R.

- Are you kidding? Three days
is barely enough time

to get everyone ready
to go back to school.

- What's wrong with the stuff
they already have? - None of these clothes fit.

- Have a growth spurt overnight?
- No, they don't fit the way

I want to look now. Any of them.

- Lizzie, buying all new
clothes isn't reasonable.

- Then I refuse to go back to
school. Is that reasonable?

- I told you this weekend
was gonna be busy.

- So one out of 5 kids
is having... issues. [Door open]

Hey, there! Did you have
fun biking with Ella?

- Nope.
- Do you want to talk about it?

- Nope.
- Well, you want to go upstairs

with me to see if you need any
new school clothes for Tuesday?

- Nope.
- Because you don't need any clothes?

- Because I'm not
going to school!

Ever again!
- Okay,

2 out of 5, but
I still like our odds.

- Lose that. Garbage. Junk.
Pathetic.

- Freaking out already? School
hasn't even started yet.

- If you must know, I've decided
what I'm changing before school starts.

- Oh, your address?
- No! My room.

This is the old me,
not the new me so

I'm completely redoing it.

Oh, would you like my
nesting doll collection?

- Well, I do need a goodbye
gift for Sally. - Oh! Classy!

Hey, I have an idea.
Why don't you change

your address and
follow Sally out West?

Ah, think how well
we'd get along

with 3 prairie provinces
and the Rockies between us!

- Y'know, that's not a bad idea.

- Oh, good! Great.
I'm glad I could help.

Now take this lovely
parting gift and get out.

- Hey, Smarti, what's
with Lizzie's clothes?

- I'm not in here. And I don't
want to talk about it.

- That's cool. Just tell
me when you're ready.

I think it'd be okay
if I gave Edwin

Casey's old dolls, right?

- Hey, Ed! Nora thinks
you might need some

back to school
clothes or supplies. - No thanks. I am fully clothed

and fully stocked. I can't
wait to get back to school!

- Good! Why?

- 'Cuz my girlfriend Michelle!

You know, someone
to walk the halls with,

do my homework with and,
ah, share my lunch with.

- When does Michelle
get back from camp?

- Today. So I gotta go grab
her a welcome back gift.

- Oh, while you're at it,
can you pick up Sally a "Hey, sorry you're leaving" gift.

- Oh, classy!
- Derek.

Nora wants to know if you
need any school supplies.

- I don't study.
Why would I need supplies?

- Since you brought
that up, um...

- I'll leave you two alone.
- No, Nora, you come.

- Derek, I want to talk to you
about your attitude about school.

Grade twelve? It's a make
or break year for you.

- Hey, make a break. Good idea.

- I know Sally leaving
is going to be hard,

but without a girlfriend you'll
be able to focus on your studies

and your university
applications. - No girlfriend,

lots of studying,
university applications.

Great! Thanks, Dad.

- You're welcome.

[Knock! Knock!]
- I'm busy.

- I made you a grilled
cheese sandwich.

Mmm... Unless you don't like
grilled cheese any more either?

Ah! It's just a joke.

C'mon, Lizard, what's going on?

- What's going on is that my
clothes are ugly and boring.

And, please, don't
call me Lizard.

- Oh, I thought your clothes
were cute and practical, Lizar... eee.

- Mom, you buy my clothes
from the boy's section!

- Yeah, but boy's clothes
are cheaper and stronger.

- Well, maybe now I'd like more
expensive and girlier clothes.

- Okay. I'll go get that big
box of Casey's clothes.

- Why am I the one that has
to wear hand-me-downs? Casey doesn't!

- Yeah, well she's the oldest.

- Well, what about those clothes
from Icky Cousin Vicky she refused to wear?

How come I'm the that has
to wear hand-me-downs and boy's clothes?

You're the worst mother
in the whole world!

- In the whole world?
- Well,

maybe not in the whole world,

but definitely
in all of Ontario!

- Someone wants to change
and all before school starts in 2 days.

- How did you know?

You are the best Mother
in the whole world.

- I don't know!
Maybe in Ontario.

Ha, uh, Casey,
what's going on here?

- Oh, I need to redecorate my
room. Basically nothing works.

- But I thought you
had such a nice room.

- For a girl.

I am a year away
from university, Mom!

My room should define me.

And how can I define myself if
my room isn't who I am now?

- And who are you now?
- I don't know!

Am I a colorful hippy or an
avant-garde anti-trendoid

or a whimsical poet.
I mean, it is amazing

that I can even get dressed in
the morning without knowing the answer to that question!

- So you have to figure
out who you are before you redecorate your room?

- Yes and I don't have a lot of
time to pick a new identity!

- But a whole new identity
costs a whole lot of money.

- Mom, are you saying
I'm not worth it?

- Ah, ah...

No.

Now it's 3 out of 5 having
back-to-school issues.

Casey's having
an identity crisis,

Lizzie's having a wardrobe
crisis and Marti's eaten her second meal in her tent

and she won't tell me why.
- Interesting how it's only the girls of the house

who are in crisis mode.
- You think?

- Now that I think about it, not
interesting in the slightest.

- Can you believe this
is the last time we'll share a meal together?

Maybe in our whole lives?
- You know, the service here

is lousy! Maybe we should
just wait on ourselves?

- You make jokes,
but I know you feel it, too.

I don't know how I'm gonna
say goodbye to you.

- Hey, we do not have
to say our real goodbyes until tomorrow at the airport.

- I know, I know.

But, ah, just, ah,
get ready for the tears.

- You're not gonna
cry are you?

- No! I meant my Dad!
He's a total mush.

But, ah,

I'll probably be crying, too.
I'm probably going to cry all the way to Vancouver.

- Yeah! By Saskatchewan,

you'll have forgotten
all about me.

- No.

I won't.

- Oh, no, please

don't... look it!
I can juggle cutlery, eh?

- No you can't.

- Ah, please. Then don't be sad.

For me?

- Okay, okay.

I'm not upset.

- Dad, I need the couch.
- Hnh? Forget it!

- Please! It's an emergency!
- Is something wrong, Ed?

- Yeah. ‘kay, Brent is wrong.

- Brent who?
- Michelle's new boyfriend-she met-doing-archery-at-camp,

that's who. He shot an arrow
through her heart

and now my heart's broken.
- Ah, sorry, Ed.

You know, I bet it's gonna hurt
like heck for a few days,

then you'll get back to school,
you'll forget all about her.

- I'm not going back to school.
How can I get over Michelle

when I'm going to see her
every day? You'll just have to home-school me.

- Ed, I work.
- Fine. I'll watch educational television.

Thanks for your concern.

- Four out of five
kids freaking out. - Dad... need to talk to you.

- Don't tell me you
have a problem too? - No.

But I'm gonna drop out of high
school and move out West,

get a job so I can be near
Sally. Well, goodnight.

[Knock! Knock!]

- Casey, I need to talk
to you about something

really important.
- Mom,

I am mid-crisis! I thought
mauve was my colour,

but now it leaves me cold.
My room should reflect who I am, right?

But am I fun, serious,
sardonic, bold, subtle?

- How about self-absorbed?
- Ha! That is not really a style,

but okay.
- Look, Casey, I'm sorry.

It's just that last night,
out of the blue,

Derek told us that
he was dropping out

of high school to follow
Sally to Vancouver.

- What? Where did he come up
with a crazy idea like that?

- I don't know!
- Oh! Unless he got it from me. - Casey!

- It was a joke!
- Ah! Good one! - Figures.

The only time Derek would
take anything I say seriously is when I'm kidding around.

- Ooh, maybe if you joked him
into it, you could joke him out of it!

- Isn't that a George thing?

- George is just trying
to keep calm.

- What is wrong
with this family?

Marti is living in her tent,
Lizzie hates her clothes,

you hate your room, Edwin
says he'll never love again

and now Derek? He wants
to drop out of school!

- Well, what did he say when you
tried to talk him out of it?

- He won't say anything to
anything. I've tried reasoning,

yelling, bribing. Nothing works.

- George. I am willing
to set aside

my problems to try and talk some
sense into your problem child.

- I appreciate that, Casey,
but I mean why?

I'd have thought you'd
want him to leave.

- Because I don't
want to see him do

something monumentally stupid,

even if it was my suggestion.

- Your what?
- It was a joke!

- Well, good one!
- Okay, George! It is okay.

I can fix this. Now you and Nora
go for a quiet relaxing meal,

while I mobilize my team.

Hey, Liz, I need your help.

- And I need clothes, new ones.

And not your hand-me-downs
‘cuz I'm not you. - Okay, um...

What kind of clothes
do you want? - I don't know!

I just know I want to change
my look before school starts.

And if I don't do it on
the first day, I'll have to wait a whole other year.

- How ‘bout I take you
to a few stores tomorrow?

- Okay! But what about your
re-decorating project?

- Well, I've put my issues
on hold temporarily.

In fact, we all have to because
there's a real family crisis

and Mom and George
need our help.

- What did Derek do?
- He's threatening to drop out of school

to follow Sally to Vancouver.
- Does Edwin know about this?

- Edwin hasn't been himself
since Michelle dumped him.

- Edwin got dumped?!
Where have I been?!

- Hey! Can't a guy just
wallow in peace?

- I'm sorry to hear
about Michelle.

- Yeah. I got dumped.
For an archer!

- An archer?
- Yeah, and apparently he's also quite the gletcher.

- Wait, what's a gletcher?
- Glass etcher.

- Sounds lame. And Michelle's
lame for dumping you.

But in a few months, she'll be
sorry, but you'll have moved on.

- I will?
- Edwin, I never told you this ‘cause I didn't want it

going to your head, but a couple
of my friends like you.

- Really? Well, which ones?

- I can't name names.
That wouldn't be fair.

But pull yourself together,
man. Girls like a guy with confidence.

- But, Lizzie, all my confidence
was stolen by the gletcher-archer!

- That's a blow,
I have to admit. But fake it.

I'll help. Meanwhile, we gotta
solve a bigger problem.

- There's a bigger
problem than mine?

- Derek's dropping
out of school. - What?

Why is this the first
I'm hearing of this?

- My analysis is that
it's not a bluff.

Derek's deluded enough to
actually follow through on a plan like this.

- But Sally can't want
Derek to drop out.

- Well, my guess is that
he hasn't told her yet. - So there might still be

enough time to change his mind.
- Well, we'll just have to go in there together and tell him

that he's making
a terrible mistake. - Let's do it!

- No! That would be the worst
thing you could possibly do.

Whenever you tell Derek not to
do something he always does it!

Like when he was 6 and Dad
told him not to eat worms.

- Gross!
- Ew.

- So, he likes to play
the opposite game.

I'm going in.
- Good luck, soldier.

[Knock! Knock!]
- Dad, there is nothing to talk about.

I've made up my mind.
- Actually, it's me.

- My Dad sent you to talk
to me out of going?

- Heck, no! Because I agree
with what you're doing.

Actually, I applaud it.
- Oh, you do?

- Yes! And I am deeply touched

that you took my suggestion.

Ah! It's so crazy, it's so

romantic, to just throw away
your whole future like that

to follow your heart.
My goodness,

Derek, did I ever have
you figured wrong.

- Casey, it's not that
big of a sacrifice.

I could always go back
to high school a year later.

- Now, come on, who'd want
to go back to school

when he'd be a year older
than everyone else?

Actually, you'd
be 2 years older

because of failing
grade one, right? - Nice try, Casey,

but pretending to admire
what I'm doing

to get me to change
my mind isn't working.

- I'm not pretending!

I admire you very much!
Please, go! I insist!

- Oh. Okay, well then
I will, thanks, Case.

- Wait, wait!
I didn't mean that.

- But you just said it.
- We were playing the opposite game!

- Nnnnn.
- Derek,

you can't drop out of school!

Even you're not stupid
enough to do that!

- Ha! That's what you think.

- It doesn't fit.

- How'd it go?

- Well, I lost the opposite game
and then I called him stupid.

- Curious strategy.

You know, how about
I take a more sensitive, psychological approach?

- Can't do worse.

- Ed, finish my packing.

- Derek, I know why
you're leaving.

- Yeah, everybody does.
I want to be with Sally.

- Well, if you don't
mind me saying so,

I think your reason
is more... psychological.

You have a problem with emotions
and you're afraid of the pain

of splitting up with Sally so
you're trying to avoid it.

Believe me, as a man in pain,

I can relate.

- That's ridiculous.

So, why don't you stop relating

and start folding?

- Forget it, Derek!

No, I refuse to help
you wreck your life.

- Then what good are you?

- Strike two. Now up to bat...

- Derek...
- Lizzie... - Maybe...

- No.
- But... - Sorry.

- Okay.
- Bye.

[Bell]

- Sally? Hey!

I've been trying to call you.
Doesn't your flight leave in 3 hours?

- Yes. But I've been
doing some thinking...

and, uh... I can't
get on that flight.

- Ah, did you lose your ticket?

Because I'm pretty sure
that's all electronic. - No. I don't want to leave you.

So I'm going to go to
university here instead!

Ah...

I said I'm going to go to
university here instead!

- Sally, you can't do that.

- ‘Kay. Not really

the reaction that
I was going for.

- UBC is an amazing opportunity.

You know, you have been dreaming
about going out West since you were a little girl and you

and you shouldn't

give that up for me.

- But it hurts too much
to leave you. - I feel the same way

and as Edwin pointed out,

I would go to any length
to avoid feeling that bad.

- Well, it seemed like you were
handling it pretty well. - Well,

I am a master of denial
and even though I beat Casey

at the opposite game,

I think she might be right.

- The opposite game?
- Yeah, she was trying to con me out of my plan

to drop out of high school.
To follow you to Vancouver.

- You were really going
to do that for me?

- I was. Then everyone freaked

and I realized that, you know,

as much of a pain
high school is,

I should probably
see it through.

- Hm.

Well, then this is it.

I'm really leaving and

we're really breaking up.

- Yeah.

- Okay. Well, I'm going to give
you the ten-second warning.

- Tears?
- Ten, nine,

eight, seven...

Aren't you gonna run?

- Not this time.

- Ahh!

- You guys can't watch...
that's private!

What'd he say?

- He's not going.
- He actually listened.

- What! We changed his mind?
We did it!

- So Sally's gone, huh?

Need a hug?

- Thanks.

Because I needed that.

- Hi there.

- Everything okay?
- Relax.

I have decided to stay
and finish grade 12.

- Derek! That's terrific.

- Yeah, it is. Oh!
- Enough hugging.

Eh, ye, ye, ye!

- I don't know what you did,

but I cannot thank you enough.
- It was a team effort.

Edwin, Lizzie and me.
- Oh! Speaking of Edwin and Lizzie!

- Edwin is standing upright and
Lizzie and I are going shopping

for some new clothes
and stuff for my room. So I need some money.

- You do as much back to school
shopping as you want to

just as long as you
go back to school!

- What about Marti?
- Ah, she's still camping out in her tent.

- Smarti, get out here.
- No, Smerek.

- Fine. But...

Sally left for Vancouver and

I'm really sad.

I could really use a, uh...

Special Smarti Smug.

That's the one!

Now,

why are you living in a tent?

- 'Cuz Ella can ride her bike

without training
wheels and I can't.

- And that's why you don't
want to go back to school?

- I'm in grade 3 and I
still have training wheels.

Everyone's going to laugh at me.

- Hey, no one's gonna
laugh at you

‘cause I'm gonna teach you to
ride without training wheels.

- But I'm afraid to fall.

- Then we'll go to the park
and you can fall on the grass.

And I'll run behind the
bike holding on to it.

- No matter how fast I go?

- Oh, I would hold that
bike even if it flew!

Like this!

Oh, did you lose a shoe?

- C'mon, everybody!
Let's hustle!

- Whoa. You look different.

- Bad different or
good different?

- Good different. Hey, c'mon!
I wanna find out which one of your friends likes me!

- Oh, Liz, you really
do look great.

- Thanks, Casey. For everything.

- Remember, Derek?

- Yep! The park, after school.

- Yep!
- What for?

- Secret. Hey, you want
a lift to school?

- I pay for gas?
- Yeah. - We'll be on time?

- Ah, I'll see.
- Down in a sec.

Closed Captioning by sette inc.

- Disclaimer: I‘m not
funny in this scene.

- Casey, I need
to talk to you...

- Well, make or break!
I'm going...

- Derek's de-lu-oo-ded enough to
actually follow through on...

- ♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

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