All language subtitles for Desperate.Housewives.S06E12.1080p.WEB-DL.DD+.5.1.x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

PREVIOUSLY ON...

IN THE WAKE OF A TRAGEDY,
A DAUGHTER WAS SAFE...

YOU SAVED HER LIFE.
WE OWE YOU EVERYTHING.

ORSON WAS CHANGED...

THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE
YOUR HUSBAND'S PARALYZED.

AN UNBORN TWIN WAS GONE...

WE LOST THE BABY...

(whispers)
BUT THE OTHER BABY IS FINE.

AND AN EX-HUSBAND...
KARL DIDN'T MAKE IT.

OH, MY GOD.
WAS DEAD.

(Mary Alice) A MONTH
AFTER THE DEATH OF KARL MAYER,

HIS FAMILY ASSEMBLED
FOR THE READING OF HIS WILL.

TO EACH, KARL LEFT SOMETHING
TO REMEMBER HIM BY.

TO HIS GREAT AUNT,
HE LEFT A GRAND PIANO.

TO HIS FAVORITE COUSIN,
HE LEFT GOLD CUFF LINKS.

TO HIS BELOVED DAUGHTER,
HE LEFT CASH AND SECURITIES.

BUT KARL MAYER LEFT

HIS MOST EXTRAORDINARY
POSSESSION OF ALL

TO SOMEONE WHO WASN'T EXPECTING
A THING.

"AND FINALLY,
TO MY EX-WIFE, SUSAN MAYER..."

HEY, THAT'S ME.

OH, I-I-I WAS JUST HERE
TO SUPPORT MY DAUGHTER.

SERIOUSLY, I'VE BEEN PLAYING
HANGMAN ON MY PHONE.

YOU WERE SAYING?

"TO MY DEAREST SUSIE Q.,

"WHO ENDURED MY INFIDELITIES
FAR LONGER THAN SHE SHOULD HAVE,

"YEARS OF CHEATING,

BETRAYALS ALMOST FROM THE DAY
WE WERE MARRIED..."

CAN WE JUST SKIP TO THE PART
WHERE I GET STUFF?

OH, DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.
YOU GOT THE PIANO.

"WHILE I WAS NEVER GOOD

"AT HIDING MY AFFAIRS
OF THE FLESH,

"I'M ASHAMED TO SAY
THAT I WAS MORE SUCCESSFUL

AT CONCEALING SOME
OF MY FINANCIAL AFFAIRS."
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I THINK DAD HID MONEY FROM YOU
WHEN YOU WERE MARRIED.

(gasps)

WELL, IT'S NOT MONEY, EXACTLY.

IT SEEMS YOUR EX-HUSBAND WAS
PART OWNER IN A BUSINESS.

HE WAS HAVING AFFAIRS,
RAN A LAW FIRM

AND HE OWNED A SECRET BUSINESS?

GLAD YOU'RE FINALLY GETTING
A LITTLE REST.

NOW HE SPECIFICALLY ASKS
THAT YOU KEEP AN OPEN MIND.

IT'S VERY SUCCESSFUL.

WELL, IF IT'S SO SUCCESSFUL,

WHY DO I NEED
TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND?

YES, KARL MAYER LEFT
HIS EX-WIFE

SOMETHING TO REMEMBER HIM BY...

♪♪♪

(man whistles)

NOT THAT THERE WAS ANY CHANCE
SHE WOULD FORGET HIM.

(dance music playing)

(men cheering and whistling)

ALL KINDS OF MEN GO TO

THE DOUBLE D
GENTLEMEN'S CLUB--

FRAT BOYS LOOKING
FOR A THRILL...

SOLDIERS LOOKING
TO GET LUCKY...

(clink)
C.E.O.s LOOKING
TO CLOSE A DEAL.

YES, ALL KINDS OF MEN
GO TO DOUBLE D's,

WHICH CAN BE VERY UPSETTING
TO ALL KINDS OF WOMEN.

SUSAN MAYER?

JIMBO ROONEY,
CO-OWNER OF DOUBLE D's.

UH, LOOK, I WAS REAL SAD
TO HEAR ABOUT KARL'S PASSING.

HE WAS A GOOD MAN,

AND HE CARED ABOUT EACH
AND EVERY ONE OF THESE DANCERS.

OH, I'M SURE.

KARL WAS ALWAYS
A BIG SUPPORTER OF THE ARTS.

UH, SO WHO DO I SPEAK TO

ABOUT SELLING MY SHARE
OF HERPES ON PARADE?

ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANT TO DO THAT?

NOW BUSINESS HAS BEEN
REAL GOOD LATELY,

ESPECIALLY SINCE WE STARTED
TOPLESS KARAOKE TUESDAYS.

WELL, AS LUCRATIVE AN ENTERPRISE
AS THAT SEEMS--

TAKE A LOOK AROUND.
HAVE A DRINK.

AND THEN
IF YOU WANT TO SELL,

YOU HAVE
YOUR LAWYER CALL ME.

OH. LOOK AT THAT.

YOU MADE THE O's IN "ROONEY"
INTO BOOBS.

LOVELY.

YOU LIKE THAT?

WAIT TILL YOU SEE
MY PARTNER VIC'S BUSINESS CARD.

HE TOOK THE "V,"
AND HE MADE IT INTO A--

GOT IT. I THINK
I'D REALLY LIKE THAT DRINK NOW.

♪♪♪

OH, UM, THANKS,

BUT I--I'M NOT HERE
FOR THE SHOW.

I JUST FOUND OUT
THAT I OWN HALF THIS PLACE.

OH, NO KIDDIN'.
WELL, NICE TO MEET YOU.

I'M JENNIFER MORELLI,
BUT AT 10:00, I'M "DESTINY."

OH, WELL, I'M SUSAN DELFINO.

AT 10:00, I AM IN
A FLANNEL NIGHTGOWN. (chuckles)

HEY, WE HAVE A DELFINO
THAT COMES IN HERE.

REALLY?

WELL,
IT'S A PRETTY COMMON NAME.

I THINK HE'S A PLUMBER.
REALLY?

WELL, MAYBE THERE'S ANOTHER
PLUMBER WITH THAT LAST NAME.

MIKE--THAT'S IT.
MIKE DELFINO.

TALL GUY,
BROWN HAIR, NICE SMILE?

BIG BUSTED NOSE?

OH, I DON'T THINK SO.

WELL, WAIT TILL THE NEXT TIME
YOU SEE HIM.

(Lynette gasps)

A TV? YOU GUYS
DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

YES, WE ABSOLUTELY DID.
WE HAVE A FAMILY RULE--

YOU SAVE OUR DAUGHTER
FROM BEING SQUASHED BY A PLANE,

YOU GET A 60-INCH PLASMA.

AND A FAUX LEATHER
REMOTE CADDY.
(laughs) OH, THANKS.

THIS IS VERY GENEROUS.
PLEASE. WE COULD NEVER MAKE UP
FOR WHAT YOU DID.

OR FOR HOW I BEHAVED TOWARD YOU
THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS.

I WAS SUCH A BITCH.
OH, WE BOTH SAID THINGS.

YEAH, BUT I SAID A LOT WORSE
A LOT LOUDER.

YEAH, YOU DID.

(laughs)
BY THE WAY,
I TALKED TO HUMAN RESOURCES,

AND THEY ARE FINE
WITH CONTINUING TO PAY YOU

UNTIL THE BABY IS BORN
AND FOR SIX WEEKS AFTER THAT.
CARLOS, THAT'S AMAZING.

(laughs)
SO WILL TERRENCE FILL IN
UNTIL I GET BACK?

ACTUALLY, NO.
HE TOOK THE JOB IN MIAMI.
SO WHO'S GONNA TAKE UP
THE SLACK?

WELL, I'LL PUT IN EXTRA HOURS,
WORK WEEKENDS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
YOU FOCUS ON THAT BABY.

REALLY? I DON'T WANT TO HAVE
THIS FALL ON YOU.
CARLOS, WE GOTTA GET GOING.

WE'VE GOT JUANITA'S INTERVIEW
AT OAKRIDGE.

OH, RIGHT. LYNETTE,
DO NOT WORRY. I GOT YOUR BACK.
BUT I FEEL SO GUILTY

TAKING YOUR MONEY
AND LEAVING YOU IN THE LURCH.

HEY, I GOT A CRAZY IDEA.
WHAT IF I FILL IN FOR LYNETTE?

(laughs) OH, HONEY, THEY'RE
IN A HURRY. NO TIME FOR JOKES.

I'M SERIOUS.
I-I'VE DONE HER JOB--

OR PRETTY DAMN SIMILAR--
WHEN I WAS IN ADVERTISING.

I COULD STEP IN FOR HER
UNTIL SHE GETS BACK ON HER FEET.

OH, BUT THAT'S PUTTING CARLOS
IN AN AWKWARD POSITION.

I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA.
ME, TOO.

NO. NO, I THINK
IT'S A GREAT IDEA, IN THEORY,

BUT IT'S JUST--
IT'S SUCH A COMPLICATED JOB.

YOU DON'T THINK
I CAN HANDLE IT?

NO. NO, I THINK
YOU'D BE WONDERFUL.

GREAT, IT'S SETTLED THEN.
TOM, YOU START TOMORROW.
THERE YOU GO, LYNETTE.

NOW YOU HAVE NOTHING
TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT.

RIGHT. RIGHT.

WELL,
THANKS AGAIN FOR THE TV.

YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN
WAY TOO GENEROUS.

YOU MADE SCONES.
MY FAVORITE.

I KNOW.
TAKE AS MANY AS YOU LIKE.
(laughs)

SO... WHAT DID YOU WANT
TO SEE ME ABOUT?

WELL, I WANTED TO GIVE YOU THIS
DONATION FOR THE BUILDING FUND.
OH.

AND I ALSO HAVE SOME THINGS
IN THE GARAGE

FOR THE RUMMAGE SALE,
AND I AM ALSO AVAILABLE

TO RUN THE NEXT
SUNDAY SCHOOL PANCAKE BREAKFAST.

OH, GOOD HEAVENS.

BREE, WHAT A WONDERFUL DISPLAY
OF CHRISTIAN CHARITY.

I JUST WANT TO DO MY PART.

DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO
WITH THE PLANE CRASH?

IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING.

DO YOU WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT?

I CAN'T. IT WOULD CHANGE
HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME.

BREE, I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR YEARS.
I DON'T THINK THAT'S POSSIBLE.

I HAD AN AFFAIR.
(coughing)

ARE YOU OKAY?

UM, BEFORE YOU CONFESS
A SIN THAT BIG,

JUST TRY TO WAIT
TILL I'VE SWALLOWED.

(coughs)

OH.

WHO WAS THE AFFAIR WITH?

KARL MAYER.

HE WAS KILLED
IN THE PLANE CRASH--

THE SAME ONE
THAT INJURED ORSON.

YOU MUST FEEL TERRIBLY GUILTY
ABOUT THIS.

I CAN'T EAT. I CAN'T SLEEP.

THAT'S WHY I WANTED YOU
TO COME OVER HERE.

I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
TO MAKE THIS RIGHT.

WELL, SEEMS TO ME THE FIRST STEP
IS FOR YOU AND ORSON

TO GET INTO
OUR MARRIAGE OUTREACH PROGRAM.

OH, IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT.
WE'RE ABOUT TO GET A DIVORCE.

YES, BUT THIS WAS BEFORE ORSON
WAS IN A WHEELCHAIR, RIGHT?

WELL, YES.

I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED
TO DO TO ATONE FOR THIS SIN.

I THINK YOU KNEW IT
BEFORE I WALKED IN THE DOOR.

YOU WANT ME TO BRING ORSON HOME
AND TAKE CARE OF HIM?

(whispers) IT'S JUST
THAT I'M NOT SURE

THAT I LOVE HIM ANYMORE.

BREE...
(dish clatters)

THERE'S A QUOTE
I'VE ALWAYS LOVED.

"YOU CANNOT MAKE YOURSELF FEEL
SOMETHING THAT YOU DO NOT FEEL,

"BUT YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF
DO RIGHT

IN SPITE OF YOUR FEELINGS."

I DON'T REMEMBER THAT
FROM THE BIBLE.

IT'S FROM PEARL BUCK.

I AM ALLOWED TO READ
OTHER BOOKS, YOU KNOW.

(chuckles)
BREE, NO MATTER WHAT YOU FEEL
ABOUT ORSON,

IF YOU DON'T HELP HIM NOW,

YOU WON'T BE ABLE
TO LIVE WITH YOURSELF.

FINE.

I'LL TELL ORSON TOMORROW,

AND I'LL BRING HIM HOME.

GOOD.

MMM!

I THINK YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH.

(loud zip)

(Danny) JULIE! HOLD UP.
HEY. WHAT'S GOING ON?

EDDIE'S DOING STAND-UP
AT THE CHUCKLE ZONE

ON OPEN MIKE NIGHT.

STAND-UP? AS IN COMEDY?

WELL, PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS
TELLING ME HOW FUNNY I AM,

SO I DECIDED TO GIVE
THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT.
(mouths word)

DON'T MISS OUT. I GOT THIS
WHOLE RIFF ABOUT AIRLINE FOOD.

IT'S GONNA KILL.
(chuckles nervously)

HEY, PORTER! HOLD UP!

WHEN PEOPLE TELL HIM HE'S FUNNY,
DOESN'T HE REALIZE

THEY'RE BEING FUNNY?
TELL ME YOU'RE GOING.
I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE THERE.

I'LL--I'LL TRY. I, UH,
I ACTUALLY GOTTA PACK.

MY DAD LEFT ME SOME MONEY,

SO I'M GOING BACK EAST
TO SEE MY COUSINS.
FOR HOW LONG?

UNTIL THEY CATCH THE GUY
WHO ATTACKED ME,

I JUST DON'T FEEL SAFE HERE.

I GET THAT.
HMM.

I'VE BEEN WANTING
TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.

I-I HEARD YOU WERE
IN THE HOSPITAL

BECAUSE OF AN OVERDOSE.

YOU DIDN'T DO THAT

BECAUSE OF...

I WAS DEALING
WITH A LOT OF STUFF--

PROBLEMS WITH MY PARENTS,
HAVING TO MOVE AGAIN.

I GOT REALLY LONELY.

AND YEAH,
I GUESS YOU WERE PART OF IT.

I'M BETTER NOW.

GOOD.

LIFE HAS ITS LOW POINTS, AND WE
JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEM.

SPEAKING OF WHICH,

HOW DO WE GET OUT OF THIS?

WELL, YOUR TIMING IS IMPECCABLE,

BECAUSE IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT
WE HAVE AN OPENING RIGHT NOW.

YES, WE HEARD,
AND WE'RE SO EXCITED.

EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THIS IS
THE BEST PRIVATE SCHOOL IN TOWN.

IT SAYS HERE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN
HOMESCHOOLING JUANITA.

HOW'S THAT BEEN GOING?

IT'S BEEN SO REWARDING SPENDING
TIME WITH MY LITTLE ANGEL.

(chuckles) IT BREAKS MY HEART
TO SEE IT END.

ANYWAY, HERE'S HER LUNCH.
IT'S ALL PACKED.

AND WE'LL PICK HER UP AT 4:00.

UH, W-WAIT--WAIT
JUST A SECOND.

THERE ARE A FEW OTHER FAMILIES
ON THE WAITING LIST BEFORE YOU.

OH, THERE ARE?

YES, BUT SUSAN DELFINO GAVE YOU
SUCH A GLOWING RECOMMENDATION.

AND TO BE QUITE FRANK,

WE COULD USE A LITTLE MORE
DIVERSITY IN THIS SCHOOL.

IT'S BEEN QUITE A LONG TIME

SINCE WE'VE HAD A LITTLE GIRL
OF MEXICAN DESCENT.

(Gabrielle chuckles)
AH, WELL, WE ARE VERY PROUD
OF OUR HERITAGE...

(Gabrielle) MM.
BUT JUANITA CAN STAND
ON HER OWN MERITS.

SHE'S VERY BRIGHT.
AND I KNOW I'M BIASED,

BUT I DO THINK
SHE'S A BUDDING YOUNG GENIUS.

I'M MEXICAN?

(chuckles) HONEY,
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

HE CALLED ME MEXICAN.

YOU ARE MEXICAN, HONEY.
YOU KNOW THAT.

(chuckles nervously)
SINCE WHEN?
I THOUGHT WE WERE AMERICAN.

YES, BUT OUR ANCESTORS
CAME FROM MéXICO.

(chuckles nervously)

REALLY?
SO WE'RE LIKE THOSE PEOPLE

WHO SELL ORANGES
ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD?

YOU'RE BUSY. WE SHOULD GO.

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH
FOR YOUR TIME.

AND, UH, AGAIN, WE REALLY
WANT TO JOIN YOU HERE

AND HELP YOU WITH THAT DIVERSITY
THING, SO JUST LET US KNOW.

(Gabrielle whispers)
JUST SAY IT.
(Juanita) I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.

(normal voice) JUST SAY IT!

ADIóS, SEÑOR.

(footsteps approach, rattle)

THIS IS FINE.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU FOR AGREEING
TO SEE ME.

I CALLED A FEW TIMES,
BUT YOU, UH, DIDN'T PICK UP.

I HAD NO IDEA.

MY PHONE WAS IN MY PANTS POCKET,
AND I HAD IT ON VIBRATE.

AND AS YOU
MAY HAVE NOTICED, I...

SO HOW'S REHAB?

PAINFUL.

WELL, THE DOCTOR SAYS
WITH A LOT OF HARD WORK,

YOU MAYBE BE ABLE
TO WALK AGAIN SOMEDAY.

YES, THEY'RE VERY UPBEAT
AND OPTIMISTIC.

I WANT TO RUN THEM OVER
WITH THIS CHAIR.

SO...

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

WELL, I KNOW WE'VE BEEN
THROUGH A LOT LATELY,

BUT I DECIDED IT WOULD BE BEST
FOR YOU TO COME HOME

SO I CAN TAKE CARE OF YOU.

YES, I'D RATHER BE CARED FOR
BY A FLATULENT HELPER MONKEY.

ORSON, I KNOW YOU'RE ANGRY,
BUT I'M STILL YOUR WIFE.
WELL, APPARENTLY WE HAVE

VERY DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS
OF THE WORD "WIFE."

I AM PROCEEDING
WITH THE DIVORCE.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THREE WEEKS AGO YOU WERE
BEGGING ME FOR ANOTHER CHANCE.

WHAT HAPPENED?

KARL MAYER HAPPENED.

I COULD FORGIVE YOU

IF YOU BETRAYED ME
WITH ANYONE REMOTELY ADMIRABLE,

BUT YOU CHOSE

THE MOST CONTEMPTIBLE MAN
I HAVE EVER KNOWN.

NO, BREE,

I DO NOT NEED YOU.

(sighs deeply)

I'M HAVING A RAMP BUILT
AT THE HOUSE,

AND I'VE TURNED THE DOWNSTAIRS
STUDY INTO YOUR BEDROOM.

YOU'RE COMING HOME
WHERE YOU BELONG,

AND THAT'S ALL
THERE IS TO IT.

YOU CAN START FORGIVING ME,
AND I'LL START FORGIVING YOU.

(woman speaking indistinctly
over P.A.)

I SUGGEST YOU START FIRST.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. HOW COULD
YOU NOT KNOW YOU'RE MEXICAN?

WE EAT MEXICAN FOOD
ALL THE TIME.

WE EAT CHINESE FOOD, TOO.
DOES THAT MEAN I'M CHINESE?

NO, THAT JUST MEANS
YOUR MOTHER HATES TO COOK.

WELL, APPARENTLY, WE HAVE TO
SPELL EVERYTHING OUT FOR YOU.

YOU DO KNOW YOU'RE A GIRL,
RIGHT?
GABY.

WHAT? HALF THE WOMEN
IN YOUR FAMILY HAVE MUSTACHES.

IT COULD BE VERY CONFUSING.
(sighs)

JUANITA, GO INSIDE
AND PLAY WITH YOUR SISTER.

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT,
TELL HER SHE'S MEXICAN, TOO!

(sighs and whispers)
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

(normal voice) WE HAD
THAT SCHOOL RIGHT IN OUR HANDS.

HOW COULD WE LET IT GET AWAY?
THE BIGGER QUESTION IS
HOW DID WE LET OUR DAUGHTER

GROW UP THINKING SHE'S WHITE?
HEY, MR. AND MRS. SOLIS.

HEY, PARKER.

HEY. SORRY I'M LATE.

I HAD TO PICK UP SOME LUMBER
TO BUILD THAT RAMP FOR ORSON.

OH, WHAT A GOOD PERSON
YOU ARE.

HEY, I NEED TO PAY
THE PAPERBOY TOMORROW.

DO YOU HAVE ANY CASH?
I THINK I HAVE A $20 ON ME.

WOULDN'T YOU RATHER...

STICK IT IN HERE?

COULDN'T WE JUST LEAVE IT
IN THE MAILBOX,

LIKE WE USUALLY DO?
OH, I JUST THOUGHT

THAT'S THE WAY YOU DO IT
DOWN AT DOUBLE D's.

DOUBLE D's?
YEAH, TURNS OUT
KARL WAS A PART OWNER

AND LEFT ME HIS SHARE.

BY THE WAY,

"DESTINY" SAYS HELLO.

OKAY. I SEE WHERE
YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS.

DO YOU, MIKE DELFINO?

THAT'S WHAT SHE CALLS YOU,
YOU KNOW.

BECAUSE THAT'S MY NAME.

NO ONE HANGING FROM A POLE
SHOULD KNOW YOUR NAME.

SUSAN, THAT PLACE IS
ONE OF MY ACCOUNTS.

I'M THEIR PLUMBER.

AND THAT'S IT?

YOU GO THERE JUST TO DO
THE PLUMBING AND NOTHING ELSE?
WELL--

LIAR! DESTINY SAID YOU HAD
A BEER THERE THE OTHER NIGHT.

OKAY.

SOMETIMES WHEN I FINISH THE JOB,
I'LL HAVE A BEER.

AND YOU NEVER
LOOK AT THE GIRLS?

IT'S--IT'S--IT'S
COMPLETELY INNOCENT.

I-I-I DON'T BUY THAT.

I WANT TO SEE THE "COMPLETELY
INNOCENT" LOOK YOU HAVE

WHEN DESTINY SHAKES HER TASSELS
IN YOUR FACE.

OKAY, SO I'VE GONE
TO A STRIP CLUB.

ARE WE GONNA LAUGH ABOUT THIS,
OR YOU GONNA MAKE IT A THING?

WELL, I AM LEANING
TOWARDS "THING."
FINE. IF IT BOTHERS YOU
THAT MUCH,

NEXT TIME I FINISH A JOB THERE,
I'LL COME RIGHT HOME.

OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY,

BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT BE WORKING
THERE ANYMORE. I FORBID IT.

YOU FORBID IT?

(sighs) WHAT KIND OF MARRIAGE
IS THIS?

THE KIND WHERE THE HUSBAND
WANTS TO LOOK AT STRIPPERS

AND THE WIFE FORBIDS IT.

SUSAN, I LOVE YOU.

I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON YOU
AND I NEVER WILL.

BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL ME
WHAT I CAN OR CAN'T DO.

(door closes)

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT--

YOU FORBID MIKE
FROM GOING TO A STRIP CLUB?

I KNOW IT WAS
A LITTLE HEAVY-HANDED,

BUT I JUST CAN'T STAND
THOSE PLACES.
OH, WHAT'S THE BIG WHOOP?

CARLOS TAKES CLIENTS
TO THE STRIP CLUB ALL THE TIME.

I'VE BEEN TO ONE--
THE ASS MENAGERIE.

IT WAS MY BROTHER'S
BACHELOR PARTY.

THIS STRIPPER NAMED CINNAMON
GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.

LUCKILY, IF I SQUINTED
JUST ENOUGH,

SHE LOOKED LIKE
A YOUNG RICKY SCHRODER.

SEE, THIS IS THE REASON
MEN GO TO THOSE PLACES--

SO THEY CAN FANTASIZE.
WE ALL DO IT.
YOU FANTASIZE ABOUT OTHER MEN
WHEN YOU'RE WITH CARLOS?

HONEY, CARLOS HAS BEEN
SO MANY DIFFERENT MEN,

I'M ACTUALLY SURPRISED WHEN
I OPEN MY EYES AND IT'S CARLOS.
(laughs)

WANT TO KNOW
WHO I FANTASIZE ABOUT?

NO, NOT NECESSARILY.
ANYONE WANT MORE WINE?

TOM SCAVO.

(whispers) WINE NOW.

4th OF JULY BARBECUE.

THOSE TAN SHORTS.

OH, I AM THERE RIGHT NOW.
OOH!

OKAY, COULD WE PLEASE GET BACK
TO THE ISSUE AT HAND?

LOOK, BOTTOM LINE IS

YOU CANNOT FORBID A MAN
TO GO TO STRIP CLUBS.

AND DON'T EXPECT HIM TO
UNDERSTAND WHY IT BOTHERS YOU.

THAT'S JUST THE WAY THEY ARE.
RIGHT?

SORRY. I WAS JUST IMAGINING
RICKY SCHRODER...

WEARING TOM SCAVO'S SHORTS.

(clink)

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT
TO JUST GIVE AWAY YOUR CDs?

THE MORE YOU TAKE,
THE LESS I HAVE TO PACK.

IN FACT, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
YOU WANT?
ANYTHING?

OKAY.
HOW ABOUT... DANNY BOLEN?

UH, HE'S NOT REALLY MINE
TO GIVE.

COME ON.
HE'S TOTALLY INTO YOU,

WHICH IS
A COMPLETE MYSTERY TO ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK
I'M JUST GONNA KEEP MY CDs.

OKAY, I-I DIDN'T MEAN IT
LIKE THAT.

IT'S JUST
YOU DON'T SEEM INTERESTED,

AND I HAVE SENT EVERY SIGNAL
I CAN THINK OF.
WHY ARE YOU SO HUNG UP
ON DANNY?

HELLO. HE'S HOT.

OKAY, HERE'S THE THING--

DANNY'S IN KIND OF
A FRAGILE PLACE RIGHT NOW.

HE REALLY DOESN'T NEED
TO GET HIS HEART BROKEN.

I'M NOT GONNA SNAG HIM
JUST TO TOSS HIM ASIDE.

I DON'T USE PEOPLE, JULIE.

OKAY, I USED SOME PEOPLE.

BUT I WOULDN'T USE HIM.

ARE YOU SURE?

YEAH. I THINK
WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON,

AND IF HE'D JUST SPEND A LITTLE
TIME WITH ME, HE'D REALIZE THAT.

YOU LIKE STAND-UP COMEDY?

YEAH.

TOO BAD.
WE'RE GONNA GO SEE EDDIE.

HEY, HONEY.
HEY.

SORRY I'M LATE.

HOW WAS WORK?

CRAZY. (chuckles)

I HAD THREE CONFERENCE CALLS

AND A 2-HOUR CLIENT MEETING
WITH GARY DANNER.

OH.
MM. HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

EVEN CRAZIER.

I PEED TWICE IN EVERY BATHROOM
IN THE HOUSE.

WHAT'S THAT?

OH, LITTLE MATCHING OUTFITS FOR
THE TWINS THAT PEOPLE GAVE US.

I THOUGHT I'D GIVE THEM
TO CHARITY.

I RAN INTO
THE PETERSONS TODAY.

THEY JUST HEARD,
WANTED TO SEE HOW YOU WERE.

MM.

SO GARY DANNER--

HE'S A PRICKLY S.O.B.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

CHECK OUT THIS PROPOSAL
I WORKED UP FOR HIM.

HMM.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "HMM"?

I'M GLAD YOU SHOWED THIS TO ME.
I KNOW DANNER.

AND TRUST ME, YOU DO NOT WANT
TO GO DOWN THIS ROAD.
WHY NOT?

DON'T WORRY. I CAN FIX IT.
WHERE'S A PEN?
WAIT, HONEY, A-ACTUALLY...

I SHOWED IT TO DANNER TODAY.
HE LOVED IT.

GARY DANNER LIKED THIS?

NO, HE LOVED IT,

BUT NOT AS MUCH AS CARLOS.
HE TOLD ME IT WAS

THE BEST WRITTEN PROPOSAL
HE HAS EVER SEEN, BAR NONE.

WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

MEAT LOAF.

MMM.

WHAT'S WRONG?

NOTHING. IT'S J--WELL,
THAT'S QUITE A COMPLIMENT.

YEAH.
NOT TO MENTION A BIT OF A SLAM
ON THE WORK THAT I DID.

(mouth full) HONEY,
HE'S JUST ENCOURAGING ME.

I DON'T THINK HE WAS THINKING
ABOUT YOU AT ALL.
OH. OKAY.

BY THE WAY, THIS MEAT LOAF--

THE BEST I HAVE EVER TASTED.

BAR NONE?
HMM?

JUST EAT.

(door creaks)

WOW. IT'S COMING ALONG
BEAUTIFULLY.

THANKS. SO, UH,
WHEN'S ORSON COMING HOME?

OH, UH, IT'S STILL
A BIT UP IN THE AIR.

BUT I GUESS NOW WOULD BE
A GOOD TIME TO CALL HIM

AND LET HIM KNOW
WE'RE ALMOST READY.
(beep)

UH, YES.
ORSON HODGE'S ROOM, PLEASE.

WOULD YOU STOP HAMMERING
FOR A MOMENT?

HE CHECKED OUT?

BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
WHERE WOULD HE HAVE GONE?
(hammering in distance)

MIKE, PLEASE.
IT'S NOT ME.

NEVER MIND.
I THINK I FOUND HIM.

(beep)

OH, BOY.
THE FAT'S IN THE FIRE NOW.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

THE HUSBAND YOU'RE DIVORCING
HAS FOUND NEW DIGS.

BEFORE YOU JUMP
DOWN MY THROAT--

ROY AND I ARE ON
FIXED INCOMES.

YOU CAN'T BLAME US
FOR TAKING IN A BOARDER,

ESPECIALLY ONE WHO CAN'T GET
TO THE SECOND STORY.
THAT'S OUR NAKED FLOOR.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

ENJOYING MY NEW HOME.

IT'S RATHER QUAINT,

ONCE YOU GET USED TO THE SMELL
OF DENTURE CREAM AND SCOTCH.

OH, DON'T MIND ME.

JUST MAKING SURE YOU DON'T SLAP
A GUY IN A WHEELCHAIR.

SO HOW ARE YOU PLANNING
TO PAY YOUR RENT?

WELL, I'M A BIT CASH-STRAPPED
AT THE MOMENT,

BUT KAREN KNOWS
I'M GOOD FOR IT.

YEAH, ONCE HE GETS
HIS DIVORCE SETTLEMENT,

HE'S WRITING ME
A BIG, FAT CHECK.

SO HOW LONG ARE WE TALKING?
A MONTH, TWO?

THERE WILL BE NO DIVORCE,
AND IF HE TRIES TO FILE FOR ONE,

THERE WILL BE DELAYS, MOTIONS
AND APPEALS.

IT COULD TAKE YEARS
FOR HIM TO EVER SEE A DIME.

YOUR WIFE LOVES YOU. GO HOME.

BREE, STOP RIGHT NOW.
DO YOU HEAR ME?

SO AM I TAKING DOWN
THE RAMP?

LEAVE IT.

YOU'LL NEED IT SOON ENOUGH.

ALMOST HOME, DEAR.

MIKE, CALL THE POLICE.
MY WIFE IS HOLDING ME HOSTAGE!

WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE,
BIG GUY.

(door slams)

LYNETTE.

I HAD AN APPOINTMENT WITH
MY O.B. AROUND THE CORNER,

AND I JUST THOUGHT
I'D STOP BY AND SAY HI.
OH.

I ALSO WANTED TO THANK YOU

FOR BEING SO NICE TO TOM,
OUR LITTLE TEMP.

HOW'S HE DOING?
HE'S AMAZING.

IT'S OKAY, CARLOS.
YOU CAN TELL ME THE TRUTH.

HE'S KNOCKING MY SOCKS OFF.
EVERYBODY IS SO IMPRESSED.

WELL, GOOD.

GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

I'M SO PROUD OF HIM.

BUT WHEN I DROP THIS KID,
TOM'S OUT ON HIS ASS, RIGHT?

EXCUSE ME?

I LOVE HIM AND I'M GLAD
HE'S DOING WELL HERE,

BUT THIS IS MY JOB.

AT SOME POINT,
I'M GONNA WANT IT BACK.

AND I SAY THAT AS THE WOMAN
WHO DOVE IN FRONT

OF A SPINNING PROPELLER
TO SAVE YOUR CHILD'S LIFE.

(chuckles)

OF COURSE THIS IS YOUR JOB.

AND YOU CAN HAVE IT BACK
ANY TIME YOU WANT.

(sighs)

WELL,
THAT'S ALL I NEEDED TO HEAR.

IT'S JUST THAT I WAS
UNDER THE IMPRESSION

YOU WERE PLANNING TO STAY
AT HOME WITH YOUR BABY.

AND WHY WOULD YOU BE
UNDER THAT IMPRESSION?

THAT'S WHAT TOM SAID.

WHAT EXACTLY DID TOM SAY?

LYNETTE, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO
GET IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS.

CARLOS, I SAVED
A MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY.

IT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T
TAKE ANOTHER ONE OUT.

(amplified voice) AND--AND--
AND YOU CAN TRAIN A DOG

TO DO ALMOST ANYTHING,
BUT YOU CAN'T DO, UM,

YOU CAN'T DO WITH CATS AND...
CATS.

AND DID YOU EVER TRY
TO GET A CAT TO FETCH?

THEY'RE LIKE, YOU KNOW,
THEY WON'T DO IT.

STUPID CATS. AM I RIGHT, PEOPLE?
(man coughs, clears throat)

(chuckles nervously) WELL--WELL,
HEY, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN GREAT.

GOOD NIGHT.

GIVE IT UP
FOR EDDIE ORLOFSKY!
(laughter)

(claps)
(man) COME ON, FOLKS!

YEAH!
WHOO!

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I NEVER REALIZED THERE WERE

SO MANY DIFFERENCES
BETWEEN DOGS AND CATS. (laughs)

THAT'S WHY I'M THE COMIC, BABE.

I'M OFF TO GET MY FREE DRINK.

(indistinct conversations)

PORTER,

I LEFT MY JACKET IN THE CAR.
WALK ME OUT?

JACKET? IT'S HOT AS HELL
IN HERE.

OOH. NOW I FEEL A CHILL.

MM-HMM.

UM...
I GOTTA USE THE BATHROOM.

OKAY,
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

EXCUSE ME?

WHENEVER WE'RE ALONE TOGETHER,
YOU FIND SOME REASON TO BAIL.

WHY AREN'T YOU INTO ME?

ANA, THERE'S NOT A LOT OF ROOM
TO BE INTO YOU,

BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH
YOU'RE INTO YOU.

YOU DID NOT
JUST CALL ME CONCEITED.

CHILL. IT'S NOT LIKE
I ASKED YOU TO SPELL IT.

I'M NOT STUPID,
AND I AM DEFINITELY

NOT THE ATTENTION WHORE
AT THIS TABLE.

I HEARD ABOUT YOUR LITTLE STUNT
WITH THE PILLS.

OKAY, THAT WAS MEAN.

I'M SORRY THAT I SAID THAT.

DON'T BE SORRY.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I LIKE THE BLUNT ANA

MORE THAN THE CUTE ANA.

SO...

YOU THINK I'M CUTE?

(chuckles)

YOU'RE HOME. PERFECT TIMING.

MARGARITAS.
WHAT'S THE OCCASION?

WE'RE GETTING DRUNK,
MEXICAN STYLE.

PRINCIPAL HOBSON JUST CALLED,

AND JUANITA GOT ACCEPTED
TO OAKRIDGE.

SERIOUSLY?

I AM FREE
FROM HOMESCHOOLING.

NO MORE FIGHTING,
NO MORE THREATS

AND NO MORE PARENT-TEACHER
CONFERENCES WITH YOU.

(chuckles) MMM.

(slurps)
(sets glass on counter)

AHH. COME ON.
START GUZZLIN'.

UH, I DON'T THINK
SHE SHOULD GO.

HUH?
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT
ALL DAY.

LET'S KEEP HER
IN PUBLIC SCHOOL.

WE CAN'T. SHE WAS EXPELLED.
I MADE SOME CALLS.

JEFFERSON ELEMENTARY
CAN TAKE HER.
THAT'S WAY OUT
IN MT. PLEASANT.

YEAH, AND THERE'S
A LOT OF LATINO FAMILIES

THAT LIVE IN THAT AREA.
SO WHAT?

WE HAVE A MUCH BETTER SCHOOL
RIGHT HERE IN OUR BACKYARD.

I'M NOT SCHLEPPING
WAY OVER THERE

JUST SO SHE CAN BE
WITH THOSE PEOPLE.

"THOSE" PEOPLE?
DON'T YOU MEAN OUR PEOPLE?

OUR PEOPLE ARE
THE RICH PRIVATE SCHOOL PEOPLE.

OH, MY GOD. I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.

WHAT?
YOU ARE ASHAMED
OF BEING MEXICAN.

OH, THAT'S INSANE.
NO, IT TOTALLY MAKES SENSE.

ALL OF OUR FRIENDS ARE WHITE.

YOU DIDN'T WANT ME
TO TEACH THE GIRLS SPANISH.
BECAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT,

AND I DIDN'T WANT YOU GUYS
PLOTTING BEHIND MY BACK.
AND WHEN WE BOUGHT THIS HOUSE,

AND I SAID WE WOULD BE THE ONLY
MEXICANS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,

DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID?
"FINE BY ME."
YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S MY FAULT.
I SHOULD HAVE TOLD THE REALTOR,

"FORGET SQUARE FOOTAGE
AND CENTRAL AIR.

FIND US SOMETHING NEXT DOOR
TO A MARIACHI BAR."

DENY IT ALL YOU WANT.
YOU ARE A SELF-HATING MEXICAN.

OH, YEAH, WELL,
YOU'RE A SELF-WIPING MEXICAN.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

(door creaks)

HEY, YOU.

TRAFFIC WAS INSANE.

IS THERE ANY DINNER LEFT?
I HAVEN'T EATEN SINCE LUNCH.

EVERYTHING OKAY?

I TALKED TO CARLOS TODAY.

ABOUT WHAT?

HE WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION
THAT WHEN I HAVE THIS BABY,

I'LL BE STAYING HOME
WITH HER.

WHERE WOULD HE GET
A CRAZY IDEA LIKE THAT?

I TOLD HIM.

WOW!
YOU'RE NOT EVEN DENYING IT?

I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE
IN YOUR BEST INTEREST.

SERIOUSLY?

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
THAT JOB MEANS TO ME.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE
BEING A STAY-AT-HOME MOM.

HOW COULD YOU THINK
I'D BE OKAY WITH THIS?

BECAUSE WE LOST A BABY.

(sighs)

HONEY, I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT
TO STAY HOME WITH THIS ONE,

BECAUSE SHE'S ALL THE MORE
PRECIOUS, GIVEN WHAT HAPPENED.

OH.

SO THAT'S HOW
I'M SUPPOSED TO FEEL.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU FEEL,
LYNETTE,

BECAUSE YOU NEVER TALK
ABOUT IT.

IT'S BEEN A MONTH.
EVERY TIME I TRY TO BRING IT UP,

YOU JUST--
YOU CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
BECAUSE I'M DEALING WITH IT.

WELL, SHOULDN'T WE BE
DEALING WITH IT TOGETHER?
YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS?

YES!
FINE! WE LOST A KID.
WE'LL NEVER MEET HIM.

WE'LL SPEND THE REST
OF OUR LIVES LOOKING AT ONE,

ALWAYS WONDERING
WHY THERE AREN'T TWO.

HOW CAN SAYING THIS OUT LOUD
BE HELPFUL?

YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S NOT.

YOU WIN.

AFTER YOU HAVE THE BABY,

GO BACK TO YOUR JOB.

THANK YOU.

YOU WANT ME
TO FIX YOU SOMETHING?

I'M NOT--
I'M NOT HUNGRY ANYMORE.

(rock music playing)

(man) NOW REMEMBER, FELLAS,

THESE LADIES
DON'T WORK FOR FREE.

HEY, ROONEY.

OH, HEY, MIKE.
LONG TIME NO SEE.

YEAH, I GOT THE CALL ABOUT
YOUR JOHN BEING BACKED UP.

WHAT? NO, OUR BATHROOMS
ARE WORKING JUST FINE.

THAT'S WEIRD. SOME WOMAN CALLED
AND SAID IT WAS AN EMERGENCY.

I'M SORRY, MAN. I-I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO TELL YOU.

ALL RIGHT,
IT'S TIME TO INTRODUCE

OUR NEWEST DOUBLE D DOLL--

MISS FIX-IT!

(men hooting and cheering)

♪♪♪

WHAT THE HELL?

(whistling)

SUSAN!

MIKE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

OH, WELL,
SINCE I'M ONE OF THE OWNERS,

I FIGURED I SHOULD
REALLY LEARN THE BUSINESS,

FROM MY BOTTOM UP.
(slap)

HEY, YOU MIND?

I'M TRYING
TO MAKE A DEPOSIT HERE.

(man) HEY!
WILL YOU COME DOWN FROM THERE
RIGHT NOW?

WHY? THEY'RE JUST LOOKING.
IT'S COMPLETELY INNOCENT.

RIGHT?
(slap)

(hooting and whistling
continues)

HEY, PAL. SIT DOWN.

I DIDN'T COME HERE TO SEE
THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD.

(thud)
THIS IS NOT FUNNY.

OH, I CAN'T TALK.

I'VE GOT A ROOM FULL
OF NEANDERTHALS TO ENTERTAIN.

♪♪♪

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

JUST GIVING PEOPLE
WHAT THEY WANT.

DON'T YOU DARE.
SUSAN, I'M SERIOUS.

I WANT YOU OFF OF THAT STAGE
RIGHT NOW.

WAIT. ARE YOU FORBIDDING ME
FROM DOING SOMETHING?

I THOUGHT WE DIDN'T HAVE
THAT KIND OF MARRIAGE.

VERY CUTE. IF I HAVE TO, I WILL
CARRY YOU OUT OF HERE MYSELF.

OH, WHAT EXACTLY IS
THE PROBLEM, MIKE?

(crowd groaning and booing)
OH!

(sighs)

(shouting indistinctly)

OKAY. I GET IT.

I WILL NEVER COME BACK HERE.

(man) AW! COME ON!

(booing)

LET'S GO HOME, MRS. FIX-IT.
(laughs)

WAIT. WAIT. FORGOT MY TIPS!

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

NOTHING. JUST SOME OLD PHOTOS.

I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU HAD THESE.

WE COULDN'T AFFORD FRAMES,

SO MY DAD WOULD PUT THESE
ON THE WALL WITH TAPE.

IS THAT YOU?

YEAH. I WAS ABOUT 5.

YOU'RE CUTE.
HMM.

BUT THAT TOOLSHED'S
SEEN BETTER DAYS.

THAT WAS OUR HOUSE.

WOW. (sighs)

IT'S FUNNY.

I'M SMILING IN ALL
OF THESE PHOTOS, BUT...

I HATED THAT TOWN.

EVERYBODY WAS SO POOR.
EVERYBODY WAS MEXICAN.

BACK THEN I THOUGHT
THEY WERE THE SAME THING.

AND EVEN THOUGH I WAS ONLY 5,
I KNEW I WANTED OUT.

AND YOU CAN CALL IT
SELF-LOATHING, CARLOS,

BUT I JUST...

DON'T WANT MY KIDS TO EVER
KNOW I LIVED LIKE THAT.

THAT'S YOUR DAD.

YEAH.

HE WAS SO STRONG.

I WOULD RUN TO MEET HIM

WHEN HE'D COME HOME
FROM WORKING IN THE FACTORIES,

AND HE'D LIFT ME UP
ON HIS SHOULDERS.

I LOVED THAT.

I BET HE DID, TOO.

I USED TO ASK HIM, "PAPá,
WHY DO YOU WORK SO MUCH?"

AND HE WOULD SAY,

"SO ONE DAY WE CAN LIVE
IN A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE."

BUT WE NEVER DID.

(sighs) BUT YOU DO NOW.

YOUR FATHER HAD DREAMS,
GABY,

BUT THEY WERE FOR YOU,

AND HE SACRIFICED A LOT
TO GET YOU HERE.

WHATEVER OUR CHILDREN
ACHIEVE IN LIFE,

IT'S BECAUSE OF DREAMS
THAT STARTED

ON THE SHOULDERS
OF A PROUD, STRONG, MEXICAN MAN.

THAT IS WHY I WANT OUR KIDS
TO KNOW WHERE THEY CAME FROM.

I WANT THAT, TOO.

SO, UM...

HOW DO YOUR PHYSICAL THERAPISTS
THINK YOU'RE DOING?

DO THEY THINK
YOU'RE MAKING PROGRESS?

ORSON, IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
TALK TO ME SOMETIME.

I KNOW WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS,
BREE.

REVEREND SYKES STOPPED BY
TO CHECK ON MY PROGRESS.

HE WAS VERY PROUD OF HIMSELF

FOR CONVINCING YOU
TO TAKE ME ON AS CHARITY WORK.

IT'S NOT CHARITY WORK.

WHEN I HAD THAT AFFAIR,
I DIDN'T JUST BETRAY YOU.

I BETRAYED MY FAITH AS WELL.

SO PLEASE, YOU HAVE TO
LET ME HELP YOU OR I AM G--

OR YOU WON'T GET
INTO HEAVEN?

DIDN'T REALIZE
HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO YOU.

I GUESS I CAN FIND A WAY
TO BE HAPPY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, ORSON.

I AM GONNA TAKE
SUCH GOOD CARE OF YOU.

(clink)

BY THE WAY, MY SOUP IS COLD.

OH.

WELL, MINE IS HOT.

YOU CAN HAVE THIS.

OH, WHILE YOU'RE UP, COULD YOU
GET ME A GLASS OF WINE?

YES, OF COURSE.

AND PERHAPS FOR DESSERT,

SOME OF YOUR DELICIOUS
CRèME BRûLéE.

ORSON, THAT TAKES OVER AN HOUR
TO PREPARE. I--

WELL, I WOULD DO IT MYSELF,
BUT...

OH, AND WE'RE OUT
OF VANILLA BEANS.

YOU MIGHT HAVE TO RUN
TO THE STORE.

(silverware clinks)

THE ACT ITSELF IS
QUITE SIMPLE--

YOU STRIP AWAY THE OUTER LAYER

AND REVEAL WHAT'S UNDERNEATH.

OF COURSE,

SOMETIMES THE RESULTS
CAN BE QUITE SURPRISING.

IF YOU STRIP AWAY THE VENEER
OF HAPPY DOMESTICITY,

YOU MAY FIND GRIEF.

IF YOU STRIP AWAY
THAT FACADE OF WEALTH,

YOU MAY FIND SELF-LOATHING.

IF YOU STRIP AWAY
THE VEIL OF HELPLESSNESS,

YOU MAY FIND CRUELTY.

YES, STRIPPING CAN BE
A DANGEROUS PASTIME.

BUT FOR A LUCKY FEW,

IT CAN ALSO BE...

A LOT OF FUN.