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1
00:00:02,578 --> 00:00:03,485
♪
2
00:00:03,562 --> 00:00:04,394
What is gout?
3
00:00:04,580 --> 00:00:06,563
Are you a 15th century
British monarch?
4
00:00:06,565 --> 00:00:06,988
No.
5
00:00:07,233 --> 00:00:08,415
You don't have it.
6
00:00:08,492 --> 00:00:08,841
Hmm.
7
00:00:09,568 --> 00:00:11,585
God, there's like
5,000 questions.
8
00:00:11,661 --> 00:00:12,660
You're a city employee now.
9
00:00:12,921 --> 00:00:15,497
Half your life is gonna be
paperwork, congrats.
10
00:00:15,499 --> 00:00:19,184
Hey, is it okay if I put you
down as my emergency contact?
11
00:00:19,261 --> 00:00:21,411
Well, since I'm the guy
most likely to harm you,
12
00:00:21,413 --> 00:00:22,688
it seems like a conflict
of interest.
13
00:00:22,765 --> 00:00:23,689
Truck 12.
14
00:00:24,083 --> 00:00:25,932
Resident reporting problem with rabbits.
15
00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:27,417
907 Maple Lane.
16
00:00:28,420 --> 00:00:32,439
Question, have subjects
been observed as... wascaly?
17
00:00:34,109 --> 00:00:35,850
Are you going or not?
18
00:00:35,928 --> 00:00:39,187
Yes. We'll hop right on over.
19
00:00:39,265 --> 00:00:40,414
That's it, get out.
20
00:00:40,949 --> 00:00:41,598
What?
21
00:00:41,691 --> 00:00:42,449
We talked about this,
22
00:00:42,785 --> 00:00:43,559
two lame jokes before coffee,
get out.
23
00:00:44,119 --> 00:00:45,936
Wait, really?
You were serious about that?
24
00:00:45,938 --> 00:00:47,529
As a heart attack.
25
00:00:47,606 --> 00:00:50,049
Hey. Come on.
26
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,633
You're taking this too far,
Frank.
27
00:00:53,295 --> 00:00:56,638
You can come back!
I learned my lesson!
28
00:00:57,633 --> 00:00:59,707
No jokes before coffee!
29
00:01:03,213 --> 00:01:17,968
♪
30
00:01:17,970 --> 00:01:27,419
♪
31
00:01:29,573 --> 00:01:32,816
So, I've been micro-dosing
mushrooms for anxiety
32
00:01:32,818 --> 00:01:36,486
but my rabbits have gotten
into my special chocolate bars.
33
00:01:36,488 --> 00:01:39,156
Oh, that was faster
than I thought.
34
00:01:39,158 --> 00:01:41,249
This gentleman's bunnies
ate his drugs.
35
00:01:41,251 --> 00:01:43,060
They've been acting
really aggressive.
36
00:01:45,013 --> 00:01:46,663
They look pretty chill to me.
37
00:01:46,665 --> 00:01:51,944
Yeah, but in a circling
the wagon conspiratorial
sort of way.
38
00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:54,947
Look at them.
Plotting something evil.
39
00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:57,707
Okay. So the rabbits
are handling their high
40
00:01:57,709 --> 00:01:58,600
better than their owner,
41
00:01:58,861 --> 00:02:01,603
but sure, we'll take them in
for observation.
42
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,348
Hey hippies!
Sorry, summer of love is over.
43
00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:05,999
Time to sleep it off downtown.
44
00:02:07,703 --> 00:02:08,776
What is happening?
45
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,022
Hey! Ow!
46
00:02:12,024 --> 00:02:14,858
Jeez! My God!
Come on! Ow!
47
00:02:14,860 --> 00:02:17,527
Retreat, retreat! Jeez!
48
00:02:17,529 --> 00:02:19,880
I told you, they're in
a very bad headspace.
49
00:02:19,882 --> 00:02:22,532
What the hell did you
put in that chocolate?
50
00:02:22,551 --> 00:02:23,550
I used to be a cop.
51
00:02:23,702 --> 00:02:25,218
I busted international
crime rings.
52
00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:25,978
And I'm getting...
53
00:02:26,221 --> 00:02:27,128
-Hey.
-I thought you were brave.
54
00:02:27,665 --> 00:02:29,222
You guys know about this
taco truck up the street?
55
00:02:29,224 --> 00:02:31,541
The breakfast burritos...
four stars.
56
00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:33,210
What's up with
the first-aid kit?
57
00:02:33,545 --> 00:02:36,046
It's, uh, killer bunnies
on recreational drugs, bro.
58
00:02:36,048 --> 00:02:37,489
Really? What kind?
59
00:02:37,566 --> 00:02:39,641
You know, like, basic,
floppy-eared, fluffy.
60
00:02:39,718 --> 00:02:41,809
No, no, the drugs.
What kinds of drugs?
61
00:02:41,811 --> 00:02:44,479
It's like psychedelic
mushrooms.
62
00:02:44,556 --> 00:02:46,556
The homeowner makes
his own chocolates.
63
00:02:46,558 --> 00:02:48,742
Really? Did he mention
if it was straight
64
00:02:48,744 --> 00:02:50,911
or if it was cut with
purity-tested MDMA?
65
00:02:50,987 --> 00:02:51,912
Did he mention that?
66
00:02:52,064 --> 00:02:53,563
Look, this isn't Bonnaroo.
67
00:02:53,565 --> 00:02:55,749
These rabbits are higher
than my uncle at Thanksgiving
68
00:02:55,825 --> 00:02:57,417
and they're calling the shots.
69
00:02:57,419 --> 00:03:00,737
Everybody relax, okay?
I got a couple rabbits at home.
70
00:03:00,739 --> 00:03:02,014
I speak fluent bunny.
71
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,350
I mean, you might wanna
film this.
72
00:03:05,427 --> 00:03:07,427
Could be a valuable
teaching tool.
73
00:03:08,096 --> 00:03:10,764
Hey guys.
How are you doing?
74
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,935
You know I have two rabbits
at home, Snowball and Batman.
75
00:03:15,011 --> 00:03:17,587
Yeah, we let the kids
name them.
76
00:03:17,589 --> 00:03:21,325
And they are just as cute
and adorable...
77
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,927
...as you, uh-huh.
78
00:03:23,929 --> 00:03:26,187
That Phyllis,
she's the mama.
79
00:03:26,265 --> 00:03:28,856
Oh, aren't you a little
love muffin?
80
00:03:31,861 --> 00:03:33,545
Oh! Get off me,
you mangy bitch!
81
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,288
Hey Shred, you're always trying
to be smarter.
82
00:03:35,365 --> 00:03:37,607
Look up "hoisted on
one's own petard"
83
00:03:37,609 --> 00:03:39,867
and it will literally be
a picture of this.
84
00:03:39,945 --> 00:03:40,719
Argh!!!
85
00:03:42,948 --> 00:03:44,205
Uh, should we call
for backup?
86
00:03:44,283 --> 00:03:45,131
Bunny backup?
87
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,783
Dude, do you have any idea
of the ridicule
88
00:03:46,785 --> 00:03:47,951
that will come our way?
89
00:03:47,953 --> 00:03:49,645
No. We got this.
90
00:03:50,789 --> 00:03:54,316
Cuddle time is over.
91
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:05,786
♪
92
00:04:07,731 --> 00:04:11,232
Hey. So, we're gonna need to
collect the medicated chocolate
93
00:04:11,310 --> 00:04:15,161
for our vet so she can calibrate
an overdose treatment.
94
00:04:15,238 --> 00:04:17,405
Right, of course.
Anything to help.
95
00:04:17,483 --> 00:04:18,423
And, um, look,
96
00:04:18,817 --> 00:04:20,425
I know I shouldn't be messing
around with drugs.
97
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:23,244
I'm gonna turn over
a new leaf right now.
98
00:04:23,322 --> 00:04:25,413
Yeah. Drugs are bad.
99
00:04:25,491 --> 00:04:27,391
Uh, make sure you get
all of them.
100
00:04:29,495 --> 00:04:31,419
You should be ashamed
of yourself.
101
00:04:31,497 --> 00:04:33,254
No, I'm not.
Not even a little bit.
102
00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:37,276
I suspect his bars
contain psilocybin and 2CB.
103
00:04:37,352 --> 00:04:39,278
That combination is known
to give you orgasms
104
00:04:39,429 --> 00:04:41,354
and make you feel like you've
been launched into outer space.
105
00:04:41,431 --> 00:04:44,524
And rabbits have no business
experiencing pleasure like that.
106
00:04:44,526 --> 00:04:45,675
Okay. Just remember,
107
00:04:45,935 --> 00:04:47,452
you promised to watch the kids
this weekend, okay?
108
00:04:47,529 --> 00:04:48,695
And they're very excited,
109
00:04:49,031 --> 00:04:50,938
they picked out a movie
and everything, Freaky Friday.
110
00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:51,865
It's a silly premise
111
00:04:52,184 --> 00:04:53,533
but, uh, the emotion
really sneaks up on you.
112
00:04:53,610 --> 00:04:54,293
-Yeah. I...
-It does.
113
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,852
-I will be there.
-Okay.
114
00:04:55,854 --> 00:04:56,778
The chocolates are
for tonight.
115
00:04:57,039 --> 00:04:58,538
Do you remember that guy
I met in Costa Rica?
116
00:04:58,615 --> 00:05:00,281
Yeah. The... the yogi
or the surfer?
117
00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:01,300
The yogi.
118
00:05:01,693 --> 00:05:03,451
So, he's in town, but he's only
free for one night.
119
00:05:03,529 --> 00:05:04,544
Mmhmm.
120
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,472
He's really flexible.
Just, like... not with his time.
121
00:05:07,549 --> 00:05:08,623
Right.
122
00:05:08,884 --> 00:05:10,309
Anyway, what are you guys up to
for your big date?
123
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:12,035
Oh, we're actually gonna go eat
Swedish meatballs at Ikea.
124
00:05:12,037 --> 00:05:13,145
And test out futons.
125
00:05:13,539 --> 00:05:14,387
I know it sounds pathetic
but I'm actually really excited.
126
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,482
Maya and I, we haven't been
alone together in, like, months.
127
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,708
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
128
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,728
Don't be insulted but I'm so
glad I don't have your life.
129
00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:24,548
Well, you're tempting fate
'cause we could end up
130
00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:26,716
accidentally eating
magic fortune cookies
131
00:05:26,718 --> 00:05:28,476
and end up switching places.
132
00:05:29,237 --> 00:05:30,978
Is that what happens
in the movie?
133
00:05:31,056 --> 00:05:31,997
I don't wanna ruin it for you.
134
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:34,724
You just did like... like you
told me the ending.
135
00:05:34,726 --> 00:05:35,625
Maybe I didn't though.
136
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,046
-Or maybe I did.
-Huh.
137
00:05:43,235 --> 00:05:45,427
Oh, at least it's donut
Wednesday.
138
00:05:49,165 --> 00:05:50,924
What abomination is this?
139
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,334
Who's day is it?
I want answers.
140
00:05:53,412 --> 00:05:54,578
I want revenge.
141
00:05:54,580 --> 00:05:56,688
Okay. But is it okay
if I have some jicama?
142
00:05:56,765 --> 00:05:58,098
'Cause I love jicama.
143
00:05:58,174 --> 00:06:00,692
No. I want revenge.
Shout it with me.
144
00:06:00,769 --> 00:06:02,176
-Revenge!
-Revenge!
145
00:06:02,178 --> 00:06:03,253
Revenge!
146
00:06:03,513 --> 00:06:04,880
You make it sound playful.
Put some fury behind it.
147
00:06:04,956 --> 00:06:06,198
-Revenge!
-Revenge!
148
00:06:06,274 --> 00:06:07,366
-Revenge!
-Revenge!
149
00:06:07,442 --> 00:06:08,683
Revenge!
150
00:06:09,018 --> 00:06:12,287
Shh! I'm on the phone
with my daughter's teacher.
151
00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:15,265
There's been a horrible
accident,
152
00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:16,766
I gotta call you back.
153
00:06:16,768 --> 00:06:17,692
Revenge.
154
00:06:17,694 --> 00:06:18,768
-Revenge!
-Revenge!
155
00:06:18,770 --> 00:06:19,953
-Revenge!
-Revenge!
156
00:06:19,955 --> 00:06:21,546
Okay, I proudly take
responsibility.
157
00:06:21,623 --> 00:06:24,365
Donut Wednesday, Delores.
It's a sacred tradition.
158
00:06:24,443 --> 00:06:26,459
Handed down to us
by the Romans.
159
00:06:26,461 --> 00:06:29,129
You defiled this holy tabernacle
with your cru d'été.
160
00:06:29,205 --> 00:06:31,223
This is our tabernacle, Delores.
161
00:06:31,299 --> 00:06:33,225
Okay. This office
has a serious case
162
00:06:33,301 --> 00:06:34,876
of the late morning
sugar blues
163
00:06:34,953 --> 00:06:36,803
and someone
had to intervene.
164
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,714
How dare you act unilaterally.
165
00:06:39,716 --> 00:06:42,250
It's America.
It's donuts.
166
00:06:42,327 --> 00:06:43,217
Shred, throw that away.
167
00:06:43,295 --> 00:06:44,127
-Oh, come on.
-Throw it away.
168
00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:44,794
It's just a jicama stick.
169
00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:46,554
Throw it away.
Spit it out.
170
00:06:46,556 --> 00:06:47,631
This is very disappointing.
171
00:06:47,816 --> 00:06:50,650
How's my favorite
under-performing precinct doing?
172
00:06:50,727 --> 00:06:52,560
Oh, you sad, sad man.
173
00:06:52,638 --> 00:06:55,321
You drove across town just to
make fun of us for the rabbits.
174
00:06:55,398 --> 00:06:57,307
What rabbits? I didn't
hear anything about rabbits.
175
00:06:57,309 --> 00:07:00,234
Ha! Because there were
no rabbits.
176
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,662
Hey Emily.
Got your speech ready?
177
00:07:02,664 --> 00:07:03,755
Who told you about that?
178
00:07:04,149 --> 00:07:06,574
She's giving the keynote
at the AACL luncheon today.
179
00:07:06,576 --> 00:07:09,669
Whoa. I don't know what
it stands for but congrats.
180
00:07:09,671 --> 00:07:10,912
Why didn't you tell us?
181
00:07:10,989 --> 00:07:12,322
I... I just get a little nervous
182
00:07:12,324 --> 00:07:14,248
so I just wanted to keep it
under the radar.
183
00:07:14,326 --> 00:07:15,434
That's why I'm here.
184
00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:18,695
I spoke last year and,
whoo... stressful.
185
00:07:18,697 --> 00:07:20,755
And I know how much you hate
public speaking, so...
186
00:07:20,832 --> 00:07:24,184
Yeah, but I've been practicing
so I think I'll be good.
187
00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:25,426
Of course.
188
00:07:25,837 --> 00:07:27,446
No worry, it's just a couple
hundred people in the audience.
189
00:07:27,522 --> 00:07:28,596
-And, uh...
-Uh-huh.
190
00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:30,598
They film it and post it
on their website
191
00:07:30,676 --> 00:07:31,783
and it's up there forever.
192
00:07:31,935 --> 00:07:34,286
So, nobody looks at it.
Yes, they do.
193
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:36,288
I watched your speech,
Templeton.
194
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,790
-Several times, so funny.
-Big fan.
195
00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:41,685
What kind of truck does
a pig drive?
196
00:07:41,687 --> 00:07:42,794
A hambulance.
197
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:43,945
Ah, that line killed.
198
00:07:45,524 --> 00:07:47,373
Anyway, uh, happy to step in
for you
199
00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:50,210
and I promise you the audience
will not be disappointed.
200
00:07:50,286 --> 00:07:51,544
Thank you so much.
201
00:07:51,546 --> 00:07:53,788
Uh, but shouldn't you be
on patrol or something?
202
00:07:53,865 --> 00:07:55,198
Heading out now.
203
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,217
Oh! What's that?
204
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:02,063
Looks like I have an email
that is stuck in my outbox.
205
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:05,317
Boom!
206
00:08:05,393 --> 00:08:07,210
Fixed it. Enjoy.
207
00:08:07,637 --> 00:08:11,656
A gleefully vindictive message
from Officer Templeton Dutch.
208
00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:13,975
That jerk got a hold of
our body-cam footage.
209
00:08:13,977 --> 00:08:15,902
Oh, he did know about
the rabbits.
210
00:08:15,979 --> 00:08:16,736
Ugh.
211
00:08:17,072 --> 00:08:17,979
Look at you guys
running away
212
00:08:18,056 --> 00:08:19,723
from the li'l rabbits!
213
00:08:19,725 --> 00:08:20,648
We were regrouping!
214
00:08:20,909 --> 00:08:22,350
Are you... are you...
are you kidding me?!
215
00:08:22,427 --> 00:08:24,986
What... what are these,
green peppers?!
216
00:08:24,988 --> 00:08:26,821
Okay. I support healthy choices,
Delores,
217
00:08:26,898 --> 00:08:28,581
but it is donut Wednesday.
218
00:08:28,658 --> 00:08:32,552
I am stressed and I need sugar
so you need to fix this.
219
00:08:33,922 --> 00:08:34,904
Revenge!
220
00:08:34,906 --> 00:08:36,264
Revenge!
221
00:08:40,595 --> 00:08:42,412
Hey. Hey.
222
00:08:42,414 --> 00:08:43,688
Try not to let Templeton
get in your head.
223
00:08:43,765 --> 00:08:47,675
Oh yeah, uh, too late.
Uh, he is... he is in there.
224
00:08:47,753 --> 00:08:48,693
Okay, listen.
225
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,437
I used to get really nervous
before big competitions.
226
00:08:51,514 --> 00:08:52,756
Like, it got bad.
227
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,275
So I remember my coach hooked me
up with this sports psychologist
228
00:08:55,351 --> 00:08:57,685
who gave me some cool
relaxation techniques.
229
00:08:57,763 --> 00:08:59,371
If you wanna try.
230
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:00,521
Okay.
231
00:09:00,599 --> 00:09:01,431
-Yeah?
-Yeah, okay.
232
00:09:01,616 --> 00:09:03,357
'Cause my heart is um...
really pounding.
233
00:09:03,435 --> 00:09:05,618
Okay. Um, so, close
your eyes.
234
00:09:05,695 --> 00:09:06,711
Yeah.
235
00:09:07,122 --> 00:09:10,790
Take a deep breath and imagine
yourself on a mountain.
236
00:09:10,867 --> 00:09:12,050
Now, you're about
to start a race
237
00:09:12,127 --> 00:09:13,885
against this big-ass Swiss dude.
238
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,203
Wait. No. Sorry.
239
00:09:16,205 --> 00:09:18,557
Visualize yourself giving
the speech.
240
00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:22,710
Confident, calm, looking
super fly in your business suit
241
00:09:22,712 --> 00:09:25,288
and the crowd is loving it.
242
00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:30,402
They're chanting your name.
Emily! Emily! Emily!
243
00:09:30,478 --> 00:09:32,386
Well, it's a professional
conference
244
00:09:32,388 --> 00:09:34,906
so there's not really
a whole lot of chanting.
245
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,241
No chanting?
246
00:09:36,318 --> 00:09:38,484
-No.
-That's too bad.
247
00:09:38,486 --> 00:09:40,653
Okay. Then just
visualize yourself
248
00:09:40,730 --> 00:09:42,897
absolutely crushing the speech.
249
00:09:42,974 --> 00:09:44,082
Okay.
250
00:09:45,827 --> 00:09:47,335
How's your heart rate?
251
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:52,757
It is actually better.
252
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:54,593
You're gonna medal for sure.
253
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,341
Oh, um... remind me.
254
00:10:01,343 --> 00:10:04,418
In my outfit you said
I looked, um...
255
00:10:04,496 --> 00:10:05,328
Super fly.
256
00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:07,397
Super fly.
Right, okay.
257
00:10:13,505 --> 00:10:15,355
♪
258
00:10:15,431 --> 00:10:17,765
Okay. Only one
big question left.
259
00:10:17,843 --> 00:10:22,120
Who's going to step up
and be my emergency contact?
260
00:10:22,197 --> 00:10:24,013
Don't you have family
you can ask?
261
00:10:24,015 --> 00:10:26,291
My dad died and my mom
moved to Florida.
262
00:10:26,368 --> 00:10:28,685
But she's got a sweet condo
on the beach
263
00:10:28,687 --> 00:10:31,371
and she says any time I wanna
bring down my emergency contact
264
00:10:31,373 --> 00:10:33,690
for a little sand and sea,
she has a room waiting.
265
00:10:33,692 --> 00:10:36,134
Oh. Well, I hope you and that
guy without boundaries
266
00:10:36,211 --> 00:10:37,861
have fun with your mom.
267
00:10:37,863 --> 00:10:40,880
No! No, no, no, no, no,
no, no!
268
00:10:40,957 --> 00:10:44,458
Guys, who ate one of
my chocolate bars?
269
00:10:44,536 --> 00:10:46,219
There were three
and now there's two.
270
00:10:46,221 --> 00:10:48,054
And they were hidden
way at the back
271
00:10:48,131 --> 00:10:49,463
with my frickin' name on it.
272
00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:51,432
If your name's on it,
that's sacrosanct.
273
00:10:51,467 --> 00:10:52,651
You can look that word up,
Shred.
274
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,634
Sacrosanct...
275
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,487
Although I did eat Patel's
ice cream bar.
276
00:10:55,563 --> 00:10:58,823
What? I was saving that
for my end of the week treat!
277
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:00,383
Oh, you were
intolerable yesterday.
278
00:11:00,385 --> 00:11:01,642
It demanded a response.
279
00:11:01,903 --> 00:11:04,554
Why? Because I said the Mariners
don't have a shot this year?
280
00:11:04,556 --> 00:11:06,406
Say it again and you can kiss
your tuna sandwich goodbye.
281
00:11:06,558 --> 00:11:07,573
The Mariners don't have
a shot this year.
282
00:11:07,650 --> 00:11:09,242
Oh, that tuna sandwich
is gonna taste...
283
00:11:09,318 --> 00:11:10,059
The Mariners
don't have a shot.
284
00:11:10,319 --> 00:11:11,744
The Mariners
don't have a shot...
285
00:11:11,746 --> 00:11:12,729
Okay, I think we're done here.
286
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,231
I need to know who ate
my chocolate bar.
287
00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:16,490
Shred, check the waste
baskets now.
288
00:11:16,568 --> 00:11:17,417
Thanks. Great.
289
00:11:17,493 --> 00:11:18,751
Uh, those chocolate bars
were laced
290
00:11:18,828 --> 00:11:20,845
with high-grade hallucinogenics.
291
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,422
Have you seen double rainbow?
292
00:11:22,498 --> 00:11:24,516
Someone's about to be 10 times
more like that guy
293
00:11:24,592 --> 00:11:25,666
than that guy was.
294
00:11:25,744 --> 00:11:27,977
Hey. Did Emily make it back?
295
00:11:29,264 --> 00:11:30,430
Uh... I'm not sure.
296
00:11:30,506 --> 00:11:31,356
I was gonna give her
a ride
297
00:11:31,674 --> 00:11:33,599
but she ran off after
her presentation.
298
00:11:33,752 --> 00:11:34,726
Um... can this wait?
299
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,362
It's just, we're in the middle
of a bit of a crisis.
300
00:11:37,439 --> 00:11:40,256
It's just weird because
her speech went so well.
301
00:11:40,258 --> 00:11:42,759
She was funny,
talking off the cuff...
302
00:11:42,777 --> 00:11:45,445
she even sang at one point.
303
00:11:45,521 --> 00:11:47,113
Oh God.
304
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:48,823
Emily ate the chocolate.
305
00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:49,949
All of it?
306
00:11:49,951 --> 00:11:51,459
It looks that way, yeah.
307
00:11:52,270 --> 00:11:53,211
Code red.
308
00:11:53,605 --> 00:11:54,879
My thin mints are missing,
gone without a trace.
309
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,122
She's binging.
310
00:11:56,199 --> 00:11:57,941
Actually, I threw
the cookies out.
311
00:11:57,943 --> 00:11:59,125
You'll thank me later.
312
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:02,369
Actually, I will not thank you.
I will not thank you, Delores!
313
00:12:02,447 --> 00:12:06,299
I want my own refrigerator.
'Kay?
314
00:12:06,375 --> 00:12:08,393
Delores, I want
my own refrigerator!
315
00:12:11,973 --> 00:12:13,623
So, who's your emergency
contact?
316
00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:14,715
My father.
317
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,626
Aww, I didn't know you were
close with your dad.
318
00:12:16,628 --> 00:12:18,385
We're not.
I hate that son of a bitch.
319
00:12:18,463 --> 00:12:19,796
Then why did you choose him?
320
00:12:19,798 --> 00:12:21,889
Well, if something happens
to me, he's on the hook.
321
00:12:21,967 --> 00:12:22,890
With any luck,
322
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,744
I'll be a vegetable
requiring 24-hour care.
323
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,654
That makes me sad, bro.
My dad was my best friend.
324
00:12:28,731 --> 00:12:29,914
Yeah, of course he was.
325
00:12:29,991 --> 00:12:31,824
My only regret is I never
got to tell him
326
00:12:31,826 --> 00:12:33,084
how much he meant to me.
327
00:12:33,161 --> 00:12:34,660
I mean, he probably knew
because I told him
328
00:12:34,737 --> 00:12:35,587
I loved him every day.
329
00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,662
Except when my phone died,
330
00:12:36,998 --> 00:12:38,757
which happened a lot when I was
competing in Europe
331
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:41,150
'cause I didn't have
the right plugs.
332
00:12:41,152 --> 00:12:43,744
Point is... don't leave
things unsaid.
333
00:12:43,746 --> 00:12:45,305
Call your dad.
334
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:48,825
You know, they make those
three-in-one adapters.
335
00:12:48,827 --> 00:12:50,584
They have for years.
336
00:12:50,586 --> 00:12:51,561
Really?
337
00:12:53,331 --> 00:12:54,773
Now I have two regrets.
338
00:12:54,849 --> 00:12:57,517
Truck 12. Pet python escaped its enclosure.
339
00:12:57,593 --> 00:12:59,426
7276 South Kenwood.
340
00:12:59,504 --> 00:13:01,854
And get this. It's JT Wallace's house.
341
00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:03,840
Holy crap. JT Wallace.
342
00:13:03,842 --> 00:13:05,008
Oh, who's that?
343
00:13:05,010 --> 00:13:06,342
Are you serious?
344
00:13:06,344 --> 00:13:08,453
The wide receiver
for the Seahawks?
345
00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:11,272
In what world could I have been
your emergency contact?
346
00:13:11,349 --> 00:13:12,273
Get out.
347
00:13:12,534 --> 00:13:13,792
What, really?
We're doing this again?
348
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,502
I'm not... I can't even
look at you.
349
00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:22,425
Don't look at me!
350
00:13:25,288 --> 00:13:26,805
How the hell
are we gonna find her?
351
00:13:26,881 --> 00:13:27,806
I don't know.
352
00:13:28,199 --> 00:13:29,123
It's just like looking
for someone's lost mutt.
353
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:33,202
Oh, so we put out some beef
strips and stand behind a bush?
354
00:13:33,204 --> 00:13:34,537
I know you're kidding
but do you have beef strips?
355
00:13:34,539 --> 00:13:35,371
Everything I was gonna eat today
356
00:13:35,557 --> 00:13:36,297
got senselessly ripped away
from me.
357
00:13:36,724 --> 00:13:39,317
No. I don't eat gassy foods
on sex days.
358
00:13:39,394 --> 00:13:40,819
Ooh, how's it going
with the yogi by the way?
359
00:13:40,895 --> 00:13:41,969
Do you like him?
360
00:13:42,047 --> 00:13:43,354
As a person?
361
00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:45,156
He's done so much healing
362
00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:47,141
he's healed himself right out of
an actual personality.
363
00:13:47,218 --> 00:13:49,643
But in bed, and I say this
as someone
364
00:13:49,721 --> 00:13:51,996
with a sufficiently large
sample pool,
365
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,665
-Mmmhmm.
-uh, he's detail-oriented.
366
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,224
Hmm.
367
00:13:55,226 --> 00:13:56,668
I used to be detail-oriented.
368
00:13:56,744 --> 00:13:59,153
That was before I was tired
all the time.
369
00:13:59,230 --> 00:14:02,398
Maybe you should try
some of this.
370
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:03,566
-No.
-I'll give you a little.
371
00:14:03,568 --> 00:14:04,250
No. I can't eat that.
372
00:14:04,493 --> 00:14:05,735
Yes, you can.
Give it a shot.
373
00:14:05,737 --> 00:14:07,403
It makes everything feel amazing
374
00:14:07,405 --> 00:14:08,588
and you're not really doing
anything different.
375
00:14:08,664 --> 00:14:10,014
It's almost like cheating.
376
00:14:10,408 --> 00:14:11,591
My life's not built for that.
377
00:14:11,593 --> 00:14:14,352
Every night I'm taking a kid
to the ER.
378
00:14:14,429 --> 00:14:16,412
Or talking another one down
from a nightmare.
379
00:14:16,414 --> 00:14:18,339
Last night it was
global warming.
380
00:14:18,341 --> 00:14:21,008
I can't discuss polar ice caps
all high and horny.
381
00:14:21,086 --> 00:14:23,361
Oh, my God.
Is that Emily?
382
00:14:25,423 --> 00:14:31,327
Emily! Emily! Emily! Emily!
383
00:14:36,935 --> 00:14:38,418
Even Seahawk colors.
384
00:14:41,364 --> 00:14:42,605
Sheesh. You almost beat me.
385
00:14:42,607 --> 00:14:44,549
Yeah. Asher knows
all the shortcuts.
386
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,276
Hey, good luck
with your girlfriend, buddy.
387
00:14:47,278 --> 00:14:48,887
I sincerely hope everything
works out.
388
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,597
Thank God
you're here. Hurry!
389
00:14:53,635 --> 00:14:54,726
He was cleaning the cage.
390
00:14:55,803 --> 00:14:57,395
Holy crap.
391
00:14:57,472 --> 00:14:58,563
It's huge.
392
00:14:59,048 --> 00:14:59,898
Frank, have you ever dealt with
something like this before?
393
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,457
No. And I can't tell you
how much,
394
00:15:01,459 --> 00:15:03,550
but something that's not nothing
just slipped out of me
395
00:15:03,628 --> 00:15:04,794
and into my underwear.
396
00:15:04,796 --> 00:15:06,387
It's getting tighter.
397
00:15:06,464 --> 00:15:08,389
Just remain calm, we're gonna
unwind it from you.
398
00:15:08,391 --> 00:15:09,799
Shred, grab the head.
399
00:15:09,801 --> 00:15:12,226
I'm not grabbing the head, man.
It's scary and gross.
400
00:15:12,228 --> 00:15:14,061
The Seahawks have a very shallow
depth chart,
401
00:15:14,139 --> 00:15:14,895
now grab the head.
402
00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:15,972
I'm not touching that thing.
403
00:15:16,232 --> 00:15:17,974
I was led to believe
this job was mostly dogs.
404
00:15:17,976 --> 00:15:18,991
Help him!
405
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,661
This thing is super strong.
Grab something, Shred.
406
00:15:21,737 --> 00:15:23,329
Okay. But I'm closing my eyes.
407
00:15:23,406 --> 00:15:25,572
Is this a bad time to tell you
that I'm a big fan?
408
00:15:25,574 --> 00:15:26,649
Yes.
409
00:15:26,651 --> 00:15:28,484
Okay. Well, it would just
seem phony
410
00:15:28,486 --> 00:15:29,910
if I didn't say anything, right?
411
00:15:29,988 --> 00:15:31,763
Listen, man, you get
this thing off me,
412
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:32,764
I'll sign anything you want.
413
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,432
Really? How about a football?
414
00:15:34,509 --> 00:15:35,600
-Yes.
-How about a jersey?
415
00:15:35,677 --> 00:15:36,342
-Yes.
-A helmet?
416
00:15:36,344 --> 00:15:37,435
Yes.
417
00:15:37,829 --> 00:15:39,328
What about one of those
breast cancer awareness hats-
418
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:40,846
-Anything!
-That are collectible.
419
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,485
Yeah. I thought I was gonna die.
420
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,188
Okay, yeah, yeah...
421
00:15:49,265 --> 00:15:52,433
Oh, my God.
It's on me now.
422
00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:55,078
If I don't make it...
beat the Rams.
423
00:15:58,941 --> 00:15:59,773
Oh, my god.
424
00:16:00,018 --> 00:16:02,535
Emily! Hey!
How's it going, girl?
425
00:16:02,537 --> 00:16:04,295
Oh, man. You are really good
out there.
426
00:16:04,372 --> 00:16:05,521
What'd you play
in high school?
427
00:16:05,523 --> 00:16:07,448
-Yeah.
-What are you guys doing here?
428
00:16:07,525 --> 00:16:08,691
Uh, we, we just, uh...
429
00:16:08,693 --> 00:16:10,710
we just came to take you back
to the office.
430
00:16:10,828 --> 00:16:11,803
To the office.
431
00:16:11,879 --> 00:16:16,365
Oh. No. I'm not going back.
432
00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:18,884
Yeah. I'm...
I'm never going back.
433
00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:20,478
Bye!
434
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,146
Oh, I hate running.
435
00:16:22,223 --> 00:16:24,390
-Emily! Emily!
-Emily!!
436
00:16:24,392 --> 00:16:25,316
My god, she's out of control.
437
00:16:25,634 --> 00:16:27,151
Hello! Emily! Slow down!
Stop guys!
438
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:27,968
Guys, guys, stop her!
439
00:16:28,137 --> 00:16:29,970
Whoo!
My whole body's buzzing.
440
00:16:29,972 --> 00:16:31,564
I've never felt more alive!
441
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,549
Dude, that snake had plans
for you.
442
00:16:33,551 --> 00:16:34,550
A brush with death
443
00:16:34,810 --> 00:16:37,144
and an encounter with
a world-class athlete.
444
00:16:37,222 --> 00:16:39,330
Okay. That's obviously
a little bit hurtful.
445
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,558
I came in 7th at Pyeongchang
but I know it's a niche sport.
446
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,578
Listen, don't get needy but
you were pretty good back there.
447
00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:46,337
Really?
448
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,338
You're already being needy.
449
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,656
I won't say another word.
Except that after this,
450
00:16:49,734 --> 00:16:52,585
I can't imagine being in battle
with anyone else.
451
00:16:52,661 --> 00:16:54,178
Snake brothers forever!
452
00:16:54,255 --> 00:16:56,055
Oh, 100 percent did this
to myself.
453
00:16:57,075 --> 00:16:57,998
-Again?
-Give me those forms.
454
00:16:58,259 --> 00:17:00,760
-What? What did I do?
-Give me those forms.
455
00:17:00,836 --> 00:17:03,354
-You'll be my emergency contact?
-Give them to me.
456
00:17:03,431 --> 00:17:06,932
Don't get hurt 'cause I'm
pulling the plug for anything.
457
00:17:07,009 --> 00:17:08,276
Ooooh!
458
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:10,844
Alright!
459
00:17:10,846 --> 00:17:11,529
Whoo!
460
00:17:11,606 --> 00:17:12,530
Whoo!
461
00:17:12,924 --> 00:17:15,424
I'm finally coming out
of my cocoon!
462
00:17:15,426 --> 00:17:16,701
You're high on drugs!
463
00:17:16,778 --> 00:17:19,111
No, I'm high on life!
464
00:17:19,188 --> 00:17:21,688
Life can't do that,
that's why we have drugs.
465
00:17:21,766 --> 00:17:22,856
- Ah!
- -Yes!
466
00:17:22,934 --> 00:17:24,450
No, No.
467
00:17:24,568 --> 00:17:25,501
Oh, here we go.
468
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,438
I mean, I went to Vienna once
469
00:17:29,698 --> 00:17:32,441
but I mostly just stayed
in the hotel.
470
00:17:32,443 --> 00:17:34,385
Like, what was I afraid of?
471
00:17:34,462 --> 00:17:37,388
Mmhmm.
I can't do this anymore.
472
00:17:37,465 --> 00:17:39,891
I am afraid of so many things.
473
00:17:39,967 --> 00:17:40,449
What does that mean?
474
00:17:40,451 --> 00:17:40,950
You can go.
475
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:41,801
This is my fault anyway
476
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:42,876
and I've done this, like,
a hundred times.
477
00:17:43,546 --> 00:17:47,899
Listen, if you need anything,
anything at all,
478
00:17:47,975 --> 00:17:49,400
just don't call me.
479
00:17:50,295 --> 00:17:51,235
Bye Emily.
480
00:17:51,312 --> 00:17:54,721
Oh, bye- whoa, you have
gorgeous teeth.
481
00:17:54,723 --> 00:17:58,301
Thank you. Okay.
482
00:17:58,303 --> 00:18:03,581
Wait. Did you know I can name
every country in South America?
483
00:18:03,658 --> 00:18:04,582
No, I didn't.
484
00:18:04,659 --> 00:18:07,418
-Okay. Um, I can.
-Okay.
485
00:18:07,495 --> 00:18:08,735
-Venezuela.
-Yeah.
486
00:18:08,737 --> 00:18:10,088
-Ecuador.
-I deserve this.
487
00:18:10,164 --> 00:18:11,572
Colombia, Paraguay.
488
00:18:17,155 --> 00:18:19,097
Oh, look what the cat
dragged in.
489
00:18:19,173 --> 00:18:21,415
It's nice to see you
too, Dad.
490
00:18:21,492 --> 00:18:25,010
Look, um... I had a near-death
experience today
491
00:18:25,087 --> 00:18:29,756
and, I don't know, I don't wanna
die with things left unsaid.
492
00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:31,500
I'm listening.
493
00:18:31,502 --> 00:18:32,868
Anyway, I just wanted you
to know
494
00:18:32,870 --> 00:18:34,353
that you're a terrible father
495
00:18:34,355 --> 00:18:38,074
who never had my back and
I want you to rot in hell.
496
00:18:42,347 --> 00:18:45,681
So that's it.
Those are the two items.
497
00:18:45,683 --> 00:18:47,516
Well look, uh...
you came this far,
498
00:18:47,518 --> 00:18:49,776
at least come in
and have a beer.
499
00:18:49,854 --> 00:18:50,853
Did you just hear what I said?
500
00:18:51,113 --> 00:18:54,707
Yeah. Bad father and, uh...
the rotting thing.
501
00:18:54,783 --> 00:18:56,384
You want a beer or not?
502
00:18:57,620 --> 00:18:58,861
What kind you got?
503
00:18:59,197 --> 00:19:02,456
Rainier. I've been drinking
the same beer since I was 12.
504
00:19:02,533 --> 00:19:04,367
You too good for Rainier now?
505
00:19:04,369 --> 00:19:06,811
I've always been too good
for Rainier.
506
00:19:06,888 --> 00:19:08,295
What are you, like, 100 now?
507
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,965
French Guyana.
Regular Guyana. Chile.
508
00:19:13,302 --> 00:19:14,043
Argentina.
509
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,135
Hang on,
I have to get that.
510
00:19:15,213 --> 00:19:15,969
Wait. No, please don't
leave me.
511
00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:17,321
No, you'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
512
00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:18,472
Eat your cereal.
513
00:19:18,733 --> 00:19:20,533
Sorry, I don't have any milk.
I know it's dry.
514
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,718
Hi.
515
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:23,644
I'm so happy to see you.
516
00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:25,054
Yeah, you too.
517
00:19:25,056 --> 00:19:25,938
As a tantric exercise
518
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:28,166
I've abstained from sex
for three months.
519
00:19:28,242 --> 00:19:31,410
I intend to focus all that
stored-up energy on you.
520
00:19:31,487 --> 00:19:34,246
Suriname!
I forgot Suriname.
521
00:19:34,323 --> 00:19:35,506
-Uh...
-Who's that?
522
00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:38,567
Is she going to participate
or... just watch?
523
00:19:38,569 --> 00:19:40,236
No. There was an office fridge
mix up
524
00:19:40,238 --> 00:19:42,238
and now she's in
another dimension.
525
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,090
Uh... I'm gonna have to stay
here and take care of her.
526
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:49,187
But when she comes down
I could text you.
527
00:19:49,263 --> 00:19:51,430
Three months is
a really long time
528
00:19:51,507 --> 00:19:54,266
and I have a few other friends
in Seattle.
529
00:19:54,419 --> 00:19:56,027
But I'll be back in August.
530
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:57,844
Bye Victoria.
531
00:19:57,846 --> 00:19:59,488
'Kay. Bye. Cool.
532
00:20:01,183 --> 00:20:03,826
-Can I tell you something?
-Yeah. Of course.
533
00:20:04,445 --> 00:20:05,594
I only got my job
534
00:20:05,854 --> 00:20:09,373
because of connections
in the mayor's office, so...
535
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:12,284
I don't deserve it,
I'm a fraud.
536
00:20:12,361 --> 00:20:14,286
That's not true.
That's the drugs talking.
537
00:20:14,363 --> 00:20:16,288
Everyone thinks you're great.
538
00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:19,550
-Really?
-Yeah. You're great.
539
00:20:19,627 --> 00:20:20,718
You're my best friend.
540
00:20:20,795 --> 00:20:23,721
Oh, okay.
That's... that's really nice.
541
00:20:24,799 --> 00:20:25,556
Hang on.
542
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:27,207
Hello?
543
00:20:27,285 --> 00:20:28,117
Oh, you were right.
544
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,469
These chocolates
are a game-changer.
545
00:20:30,546 --> 00:20:32,471
Maya called her mom,
she picked up the kids,
546
00:20:32,473 --> 00:20:34,473
we got the whole night
to ourselves.
547
00:20:34,475 --> 00:20:37,643
Wait. Are you seriously
calling me post sex?
548
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,754
Yeah, post.
Pre. Pre-pre.
549
00:20:39,756 --> 00:20:40,646
You never know.
550
00:20:40,965 --> 00:20:42,556
Oh, Victoria, you're gonna need
to hold me.
551
00:20:42,633 --> 00:20:44,700
I'm starting to panic
about climate change.
552
00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:49,321
Oh, my God.
We ate the fortune cookies.
553
00:20:49,398 --> 00:20:51,974
Oh, and they were
mighty delicious.
554
00:20:51,993 --> 00:20:53,751
Freaky Friday baby!
555
00:20:55,329 --> 00:20:57,329
- ♪ Always count on me
-Oh boy.
556
00:20:57,406 --> 00:20:58,497
Hello Mister Mayor.
557
00:20:58,574 --> 00:21:02,167
♪ Keep turning,
oh, keep smiling, ♪
558
00:21:02,244 --> 00:21:05,930
♪ knowing you can
always count on me. ♪
559
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,506
♪ Everybody!
For sure! ♪
560
00:21:07,583 --> 00:21:09,600
Oh, I'm going really,
really wide with this.
561
00:21:09,677 --> 00:21:11,660
♪ That's what friends are for.
562
00:21:11,662 --> 00:21:13,271
Adopt these dogs!
45697
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