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1
00:00:03,423 --> 00:00:08,020
Hello, everybody!
- Hey, Aunt Jackie.
2
00:00:08,045 --> 00:00:09,313
Haven't seen you in a while.
3
00:00:09,338 --> 00:00:11,174
You and Peter must be
really hitting it off.
4
00:00:11,199 --> 00:00:14,436
Actually, my days are free.
You know Peter... he's got his classes
5
00:00:14,469 --> 00:00:18,540
in early European culture,
and he's a falconer in training
6
00:00:18,574 --> 00:00:19,775
at the Renaissance Faire.
7
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:23,847
He wears tights.
8
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:27,383
Kind of put me off at first,
but now I dig it.
9
00:00:29,452 --> 00:00:30,552
I don't get it.
10
00:00:30,586 --> 00:00:33,923
It's just a bunch of smelly hippies
running around eating giant turkey legs.
11
00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:38,794
I was shot at by the Taliban
so people could do that.
12
00:00:38,827 --> 00:00:40,796
Well, well, well, looky here,
13
00:00:40,830 --> 00:00:44,267
- it's a letter from the City of Lanford.
- I know what that is...
14
00:00:44,299 --> 00:00:46,936
"Clean up your yard or we'll do it."
15
00:00:46,969 --> 00:00:49,606
All right, gang, anything you don't want,
put in the yard.
16
00:00:51,406 --> 00:00:55,611
It's a permit to start construction
on a backyard chicken coop.
17
00:00:55,644 --> 00:00:58,914
Oh, I waited at the mailbox
for two weeks and it comes today.
18
00:01:01,016 --> 00:01:02,785
This is gonna be great.
I applied for this
19
00:01:02,818 --> 00:01:05,888
so we could have eggs
that are organic and healthy,
20
00:01:05,921 --> 00:01:07,623
and think about how much money
we're gonna save.
21
00:01:07,656 --> 00:01:10,544
How big do you think our egg budget is?
22
00:01:11,861 --> 00:01:13,663
No way we're doing this.
23
00:01:13,696 --> 00:01:16,599
You won't even know it's here.
I'll handle everything.
24
00:01:16,631 --> 00:01:20,302
Except, of course, building it.
You'd have to do that.
25
00:01:20,336 --> 00:01:22,105
We don't need to build anything.
26
00:01:22,137 --> 00:01:25,931
I think the chickens will be
plenty warm right in here.
27
00:01:28,643 --> 00:01:30,145
How was school today?
28
00:01:30,179 --> 00:01:34,750
And wouldn't coming home be even better
if you had your very own chicken coop?
29
00:01:34,783 --> 00:01:38,120
We're getting a chicken coop?
I want that so bad!
30
00:01:38,153 --> 00:01:40,155
What is it?
31
00:01:40,188 --> 00:01:42,901
Mary, what would you name your chicken?
- Don't.
32
00:01:44,994 --> 00:01:47,840
Cornflakes. I love her so much already!
33
00:01:48,664 --> 00:01:51,935
Please, Grandpa?
We don't have any pets.
34
00:01:51,968 --> 00:01:55,270
I have no way to pay forward
the love you give me.
35
00:01:59,742 --> 00:02:01,110
Please, Grandpa Dan?
36
00:02:02,477 --> 00:02:05,515
I'll build you a chicken coop.
37
00:02:05,548 --> 00:02:07,683
Well, if we don't make
the hillbilly hall of fame now,
38
00:02:07,716 --> 00:02:09,871
I don't know what else we can do.
39
00:02:12,687 --> 00:02:15,959
Is Aunt Jackie picking me up soon?
- Pretty soon.
40
00:02:15,991 --> 00:02:17,560
Now that you're done with the tables,
41
00:02:17,592 --> 00:02:19,596
I'm gonna let you
marry all the ketchups.
42
00:02:21,563 --> 00:02:25,133
No kid has been allowed
to do that before.
43
00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:28,004
We're reading "Tom Sawyer" this year.
- I know what you're doing.
44
00:02:30,372 --> 00:02:32,942
I was as smart as you,
and look what happened!
45
00:02:34,957 --> 00:02:37,379
Mark ready to go?
- Not yet. He's having fun!
46
00:02:37,413 --> 00:02:38,648
Let him stay a bit.
47
00:02:38,681 --> 00:02:41,084
- Whatcha got there?
- It's just a quiz.
48
00:02:42,418 --> 00:02:44,720
"Are you financially ready
to start a family?"
49
00:02:44,745 --> 00:02:46,982
I love these quizzes!
50
00:02:48,390 --> 00:02:50,759
Did you know
I'm a woman other women hate?
51
00:02:52,728 --> 00:02:54,530
I know it's just a dumb magazine quiz,
52
00:02:54,562 --> 00:02:57,266
but I'm really stressed about
being able to afford a baby.
53
00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,547
Do you have six months
of emergency savings?
54
00:02:59,572 --> 00:03:04,173
Who has that?
I'm a single working mom.
55
00:03:04,205 --> 00:03:06,942
I'm gonna need day care,
I'm gonna need insurance,
56
00:03:06,976 --> 00:03:09,278
I'm gonna need baby furniture.
57
00:03:09,312 --> 00:03:11,080
That's not counting unexpected things.
58
00:03:11,113 --> 00:03:13,212
- Like what?
- I don't know. They're unexpected!
59
00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,118
Look, I did the whole quiz.
60
00:03:16,151 --> 00:03:19,923
I am completely financially unprepared
to have a baby... I'm screwed.
61
00:03:19,955 --> 00:03:23,293
Look how much money you're saving
by not drinking while you're pregnant.
62
00:03:23,325 --> 00:03:24,560
What's that?
63
00:03:24,592 --> 00:03:29,531
You know, 600, 700 bucks a month.
64
00:03:29,565 --> 00:03:32,200
Is that really
how much you think I drink?
65
00:03:32,234 --> 00:03:36,572
That is so hurtful.
That's like $20 a day.
66
00:03:36,604 --> 00:03:38,578
It might be that much.
67
00:03:40,031 --> 00:03:42,789
Maybe more.
- Yeah, I'm just saying.
68
00:03:42,814 --> 00:03:44,614
You know, you're doing really good
not drinking for the baby.
69
00:03:44,646 --> 00:03:49,247
How many days has it been?
- 21 brutal days.
70
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,621
But, you know, working at a bar
and serving drinks all day
71
00:03:51,653 --> 00:03:52,989
really keeps my mind off it.
72
00:03:54,924 --> 00:03:57,159
The ketchups are married.
73
00:03:57,192 --> 00:04:01,563
Oh, somebody wrote "Aunt Becky sucks"
on the wall back there.
74
00:04:01,597 --> 00:04:03,967
Could've been anybody.
75
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:04,967
- See you later.
- Bye, Aunt Becky.
76
00:04:08,437 --> 00:04:10,340
- Jackie!
- Hi. I saw you on Facebook.
77
00:04:10,372 --> 00:04:12,674
Congratulations on the baby!
78
00:04:12,708 --> 00:04:15,144
Thank you so much.
That really means a lot.
79
00:04:15,176 --> 00:04:19,448
I'm sorry I had to block you.
- Yeah, I get it.
80
00:04:19,473 --> 00:04:20,924
I'm a woman other women hate.
81
00:04:21,716 --> 00:04:23,908
Great catching up.
82
00:04:26,355 --> 00:04:27,857
What are you doing here?
83
00:04:27,889 --> 00:04:30,459
I saw your Instagram post
about the drink of the month.
84
00:04:30,492 --> 00:04:33,596
Candy-cane margarita sounded fantastic,
so I came down.
85
00:04:33,629 --> 00:04:37,271
It's really just a regular margarita
with a little crushed-up Altoid in it.
86
00:04:40,002 --> 00:04:41,800
Come on, you didn't
come all the way here
87
00:04:41,825 --> 00:04:43,839
- just for a drink.
- Truth?
88
00:04:43,872 --> 00:04:47,175
I wanted to talk to you.
- Why me?
89
00:04:47,209 --> 00:04:48,877
When we were going through
the surrogacy together,
90
00:04:48,911 --> 00:04:51,146
I always felt like I could talk to you
and you wouldn't judge me.
91
00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:53,382
Not to your face. That's not cool.
92
00:04:55,418 --> 00:04:59,121
So what's wrong?
- Remember how bad I wanted a baby?
93
00:05:00,723 --> 00:05:06,362
I can't find that feeling anymore.
I'm really struggling with being a mom.
94
00:05:06,394 --> 00:05:11,067
But look how cute he is.
- Yeah, it's 'cause he's sleeping.
95
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:16,139
I never realized how selfish babies can be.
they never leave you alone.
96
00:05:16,172 --> 00:05:18,041
How hard is it to get away from a baby?
97
00:05:18,074 --> 00:05:22,477
You just put it down and walk away.
The baby's not gonna find you.
98
00:05:22,511 --> 00:05:25,014
I'm sorry. It's just
really been a rough day.
99
00:05:25,047 --> 00:05:28,183
But you have money.
Don't you have nannies and stuff?
100
00:05:28,216 --> 00:05:30,552
Yeah, I have nannies,
I have a diaper service,
101
00:05:30,586 --> 00:05:33,355
I have food delivery, and it's
still virtually impossible.
102
00:05:33,389 --> 00:05:35,458
I mean, I have no idea
how poor people do it.
103
00:05:37,425 --> 00:05:39,829
Wow. So you really regret having a baby?
104
00:05:39,862 --> 00:05:42,732
You have no idea how
lucky you are that you can't.
105
00:05:42,764 --> 00:05:44,134
Oh, yeah. Boy, am I lucky.
106
00:05:47,469 --> 00:05:50,405
Oh. What am I doing?
It's the Altoid. It's weird, right?
107
00:05:52,108 --> 00:05:53,882
No, it's not that.
108
00:05:55,543 --> 00:05:58,781
I might as well tell you.
I'm pregnant.
109
00:06:01,716 --> 00:06:05,387
You are gonna...
love being a mom!
110
00:06:44,993 --> 00:06:46,328
"The Conners" is recorded
111
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:47,830
in front of a live studio audience.
112
00:06:47,863 --> 00:06:52,601
So, I just got bored of being retired.
I was gonna travel,
113
00:06:52,634 --> 00:06:55,872
but turns out I'm frightened
of people different than me.
114
00:06:58,774 --> 00:07:01,643
So, maybe stick to the Cracker Barrel
and you'll be fine.
115
00:07:05,346 --> 00:07:06,348
Here you go.
116
00:07:09,884 --> 00:07:11,687
- Dropped your tip.
- Nice try.
117
00:07:11,719 --> 00:07:14,422
I'm not bending down
so you can look at my ass again.
118
00:07:14,456 --> 00:07:16,325
Didn't mean to insult you.
119
00:07:16,358 --> 00:07:18,261
How about...
120
00:07:18,293 --> 00:07:20,863
for a $10?
121
00:07:22,831 --> 00:07:24,567
Thank you.
122
00:07:35,043 --> 00:07:36,144
What a jerk!
123
00:07:36,177 --> 00:07:38,514
He tried to make me bend down for $10.
124
00:07:38,547 --> 00:07:41,184
Management won't do anything
'cause he's a high roller.
125
00:07:41,216 --> 00:07:43,985
Here's how I deal with creepy guys.
126
00:07:44,035 --> 00:07:47,478
I say, "Show me yours,
and I'll show you mine."
127
00:07:49,009 --> 00:07:51,126
Most of the time, it works,
128
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,751
but the rest of the time,
it's pretty gross.
129
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:57,800
Hey, guys.
130
00:07:57,832 --> 00:08:01,571
Do you mind if I sit down?
I had kind of a crazy day.
131
00:08:02,379 --> 00:08:04,849
What can I get you?
132
00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:07,877
Actually, we wanted
to talk to you first.
133
00:08:07,910 --> 00:08:09,345
If either of you had a bad reaction
134
00:08:09,377 --> 00:08:12,081
to the chiles rellenos last night,
I have a form for you to fill out.
135
00:08:12,113 --> 00:08:14,849
No. It's not that.
136
00:08:14,882 --> 00:08:20,156
We know that you're worried
about raising this baby alone,
137
00:08:20,189 --> 00:08:23,059
and you know that
we've been looking to adopt.
138
00:08:23,091 --> 00:08:27,829
So what would you think about
maybe all of us doing this together?
139
00:08:27,863 --> 00:08:29,432
What do you mean?
140
00:08:29,464 --> 00:08:32,667
We'd adopt your baby,
and we'd all raise it.
141
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:33,735
I mean, the baby would live with us,
142
00:08:33,768 --> 00:08:37,406
but you'd be over all the time,
and we'd pay all the expenses.
143
00:08:39,074 --> 00:08:40,709
I did not see this coming.
144
00:08:42,978 --> 00:08:46,082
We know you have to work,
and I work out of the house,
145
00:08:46,114 --> 00:08:49,919
so I could be with the baby all day,
and Bridget has great benefits.
146
00:08:49,951 --> 00:08:50,953
Post office.
147
00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:55,190
This is a lot.
148
00:08:55,223 --> 00:08:59,494
Just need some time to think.
I'll be right back with your food.
149
00:09:00,728 --> 00:09:03,199
We didn't order.
150
00:09:03,232 --> 00:09:05,300
Just eat whatever she brings you.
151
00:09:05,334 --> 00:09:06,803
We're trying to get a baby.
152
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:16,418
Good morning, Dad.
- Is it?
153
00:09:17,703 --> 00:09:19,839
That would indicate that I've slept.
154
00:09:19,919 --> 00:09:22,722
I've been up all night,
like many accomplished men,
155
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,510
knocking cats off
my chicken coop with a broom.
156
00:09:26,765 --> 00:09:28,933
I can't believe
we built a coop for chickens.
157
00:09:28,966 --> 00:09:30,808
I mean, I could never even
get a tree house.
158
00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:32,802
You broke your wrist
walking across a room.
159
00:09:32,834 --> 00:09:36,957
We weren't gonna put you in a tree.
Cornflakes has an STD!
160
00:09:38,408 --> 00:09:41,958
No, honey, the vet said she has PTSD.
161
00:09:42,844 --> 00:09:44,046
According to the vet,
162
00:09:44,079 --> 00:09:46,815
Cornflakes was traumatized
by the cat attack.
163
00:09:46,848 --> 00:09:52,189
We can expect loss of appetite,
irritability, possibly night terrors.
164
00:09:52,222 --> 00:09:54,991
Okay, Mark.
Take Cornflakes out to the coop.
165
00:09:55,024 --> 00:09:57,327
Well, actually,
until Cornflakes stabilizes,
166
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,063
she needs to live in the house,
and she also has a tranquilizer
167
00:10:00,096 --> 00:10:02,032
she needs to take every four hours.
168
00:10:02,064 --> 00:10:04,467
The doctor recommends that
we take turns holding her
169
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:07,003
until she falls asleep.
170
00:10:07,035 --> 00:10:09,972
The chicken is not
living in the house with us.
171
00:10:10,006 --> 00:10:12,909
I never thought I'd have to say that.
Come on, guys.
172
00:10:12,942 --> 00:10:14,845
Let's put Cornflakes back in the coop.
173
00:10:19,281 --> 00:10:21,317
This is insane!
174
00:10:21,351 --> 00:10:23,587
My back is killing me
because I've been up all night
175
00:10:23,620 --> 00:10:27,357
dealing with kamikaze cats hurling
themselves at a chicken coop
176
00:10:27,390 --> 00:10:28,924
in my backyard!
177
00:10:28,958 --> 00:10:32,261
Next time you have a harebrained idea,
do it at your house.
178
00:10:33,119 --> 00:10:35,899
Big man, king of England,
179
00:10:35,932 --> 00:10:38,016
too good to have a chicken
living in his house.
180
00:10:43,305 --> 00:10:45,507
Did you finish laying out
those ads for the next issue?
181
00:10:45,540 --> 00:10:47,343
Just about.
182
00:10:47,376 --> 00:10:49,713
I'm just looking for
another way to make some money.
183
00:10:49,746 --> 00:10:51,548
I'm getting real tired
of this one customer
184
00:10:51,581 --> 00:10:53,515
at the casino harassing me.
185
00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:55,285
What, is he touching you?
186
00:10:56,586 --> 00:10:58,888
I mean, not yet, anyway.
187
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,924
I'll tell you what,
if he does... come here.
188
00:11:00,957 --> 00:11:03,126
Let me show you a move that'll
really cripple the guy.
189
00:11:04,394 --> 00:11:05,695
Put your hand on my shoulder.
190
00:11:05,727 --> 00:11:07,564
- Okay.
- All right, like that.
191
00:11:07,597 --> 00:11:09,732
And you're gonna put your hand
on top of his hand,
192
00:11:09,765 --> 00:11:11,895
thumb on his knuckles, right?
193
00:11:16,005 --> 00:11:19,376
You know, I think I got a better way.
- Better way is good, yeah.
194
00:11:19,409 --> 00:11:20,644
All right.
195
00:11:20,677 --> 00:11:23,780
Look, with guys,
it's all about intimidation, right?
196
00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:25,948
You just got to have that
crazy look in your eyes
197
00:11:25,982 --> 00:11:28,009
that says, "I won't stop
until you're dead,
198
00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:29,831
and then I'll kill your ghost!"
199
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,057
Now, show me your look.
200
00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:41,564
It's not just eyes. This is...
primal animal stuff, you know?
201
00:11:41,597 --> 00:11:43,569
- You just gotta make 'em feel threatened!
- Holy crap!
202
00:11:43,594 --> 00:11:46,335
- That was terrifying.
- Hey, thank you.
203
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,712
Okay, now you go.
204
00:11:53,709 --> 00:11:55,411
It's a good start.
205
00:11:55,444 --> 00:11:56,996
It's not frightening,
206
00:11:57,059 --> 00:11:58,887
but, odd,
207
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:02,137
and unsettling.
208
00:12:02,217 --> 00:12:04,284
Let's finish this later.
We need to get back to work.
209
00:12:07,078 --> 00:12:08,247
Better! Yes!
210
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:14,187
Now it's jarring and off-putting.
- Damn straight it is.
211
00:12:28,926 --> 00:12:31,029
Becky, it's late. You okay?
212
00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:34,228
I've just been walking around
the last two hours,
213
00:12:34,267 --> 00:12:36,837
and I think I've made a decision.
214
00:12:37,947 --> 00:12:41,246
I want to do that thing
where I raise the baby with you guys.
215
00:12:41,279 --> 00:12:42,981
Really?
216
00:12:46,619 --> 00:12:50,255
Come down here!
We're getting a baby!
217
00:12:51,923 --> 00:12:53,288
Hold on.
218
00:12:54,827 --> 00:12:56,562
We're getting Becky's baby.
219
00:12:59,130 --> 00:13:01,967
She's happy.
220
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,223
Do you want to come in and celebrate?
I think I got some sparkling cider.
221
00:13:05,248 --> 00:13:09,185
Nah, I should get going.
We can talk later.
222
00:13:11,414 --> 00:13:15,600
It's gonna be awesome.
- Yeah, it is. Thank you so much.
223
00:13:46,121 --> 00:13:47,957
What are you doing here?
What time is it?
224
00:13:47,989 --> 00:13:49,758
It's 2:00 in the morning.
225
00:13:49,791 --> 00:13:53,129
I just did something,
and I need to talk to you about it.
226
00:13:53,161 --> 00:13:55,896
- Can it wait?
- It could.
227
00:13:55,930 --> 00:13:59,468
But I just agreed to give my baby
to a lesbian couple from the restaurant.
228
00:14:01,054 --> 00:14:04,492
Now you've got me hooked. Go on.
229
00:14:04,517 --> 00:14:07,075
You remember Bridget and Maria
from high school?
230
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,374
They offered me this arrangement
231
00:14:10,408 --> 00:14:13,845
where they said we could
all raise the baby together,
232
00:14:13,877 --> 00:14:16,414
but they would actually adopt it.
233
00:14:16,447 --> 00:14:19,784
Becky, why would you do that?
Why wouldn't you come to me first?
234
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:25,022
Because I'm freaked out.
I think that I'm gonna suck as a mom.
as a mom.
235
00:14:25,056 --> 00:14:28,360
And I was talking to Andrea,
and she has all the help in the world,
236
00:14:28,393 --> 00:14:31,730
and she's falling apart.
- But you're not Andrea.
237
00:14:31,763 --> 00:14:33,798
Before the baby,
she had a pretty good life.
238
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,835
You don't have that problem.
You've already fallen apart.
239
00:14:39,603 --> 00:14:41,405
You don't get it.
240
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:45,077
Becky, I know you're worried about money,
241
00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:48,813
but m-maybe we'll just figure out a way
to get you some assistance.
242
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:53,552
It's not just about that.
- Then what is it about?
243
00:14:53,585 --> 00:14:55,754
Ever since I've been pregnant,
244
00:14:55,787 --> 00:14:58,691
I can't stop thinking
about having a drink.
245
00:15:01,125 --> 00:15:04,596
I'm a drunk, Darlene.
246
00:15:04,629 --> 00:15:06,213
And...
247
00:15:06,331 --> 00:15:09,393
I don't want to
screw up some kid's life.
248
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,606
Sorry. This is a lot to take in.
249
00:15:16,975 --> 00:15:18,510
I think I need some coffee.
250
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,345
I was in the middle of a crazy dream.
251
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:24,783
Everybody in the family was happy,
and Dad had the head of a chicken.
252
00:15:27,614 --> 00:15:30,188
Okay, I don't think I understand.
253
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:31,789
I mean, I know you're struggling,
254
00:15:31,822 --> 00:15:33,592
but you're stronger
than you think you are.
255
00:15:33,625 --> 00:15:37,763
I mean, you stopped drinking on a dime
when you found out you were pregnant.
256
00:15:37,795 --> 00:15:41,321
Yesterday, I almost drank
a candy-cane margarita.
257
00:15:42,866 --> 00:15:44,368
God, you must be an alcoholic.
258
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:49,841
Who else would drink that?
- See? That's what I mean.
259
00:15:49,874 --> 00:15:51,810
How could I be a good mother?
260
00:15:51,842 --> 00:15:55,646
I don't want my kid taken away
and turned over to family services.
261
00:15:55,679 --> 00:15:59,851
I don't think that's gonna happen.
I believe you're gonna stay sober.
262
00:15:59,884 --> 00:16:01,486
But, I don't want
to be stupid about this.
263
00:16:01,519 --> 00:16:03,621
I know there are some people who can't.
264
00:16:03,654 --> 00:16:05,991
So, if you're one of those people,
265
00:16:06,024 --> 00:16:08,894
then I'll have to step in
and take care of your baby
266
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,327
until you get your act together.
267
00:16:10,361 --> 00:16:13,497
What if I can't get my act together?
- Then we sell it.
268
00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:15,800
I mean...
269
00:16:15,833 --> 00:16:18,069
Emilio's a good-looking guy.
You're pretty cute.
270
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,974
I think we can get top dollar.
271
00:16:21,338 --> 00:16:23,741
I can't do this.
272
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:25,342
You already have too much
on your plate.
273
00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:27,678
Well, then we'll get
the whole family to help out.
274
00:16:27,712 --> 00:16:31,082
Becky, we're not gonna let
your baby fall through the cracks.
275
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,949
What if I start doing crack?
276
00:16:34,586 --> 00:16:38,222
You're just panicking.
You can do this.
277
00:16:38,255 --> 00:16:41,404
You would not have come over here
if you thought you were doing the right thing.
278
00:16:45,263 --> 00:16:52,336
I'm gonna tell them I changed my mind.
I'm gonna keep the baby.
279
00:16:52,370 --> 00:16:54,539
I don't think I've ever
felt this close to you.
280
00:16:56,374 --> 00:17:00,044
Thank you for not being
a judgmental little troll for once.
281
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:09,721
What are you gonna do with the chickens?
282
00:17:09,753 --> 00:17:11,522
I'm taking Cornflakes home.
283
00:17:11,556 --> 00:17:14,625
The other three are going to
a chicken rescue.
284
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:16,632
There's a chicken rescue?
285
00:17:17,462 --> 00:17:22,033
Not just chickens.
Parrots, got a couple of hawks.
286
00:17:22,066 --> 00:17:25,971
I heard they had one of
the "Harry Potter" owls, so...
287
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,289
I'm figuring it's a good place.
288
00:17:30,441 --> 00:17:32,911
The chickens could stay.
289
00:17:32,943 --> 00:17:34,945
I just didn't want Cornflakes
in the house.
290
00:17:34,979 --> 00:17:36,648
Why don't you say
what you really mean, Dan?
291
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,316
You just don't want me in the house.
292
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:41,285
Where are you getting that from?
- Let's finally get this out.
293
00:17:41,318 --> 00:17:44,055
The only reason you ever
put up with me coming over
294
00:17:44,087 --> 00:17:47,091
is because my sister wanted me here.
295
00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:50,828
And?
- You're so thick-headed.
296
00:17:50,854 --> 00:17:55,232
Why do you think the chickens are here?
- I have no idea.
297
00:17:55,266 --> 00:17:57,435
So you want me to say it, don't you?
298
00:17:57,468 --> 00:18:00,971
I thought if there was
a chicken coop here,
299
00:18:01,004 --> 00:18:02,808
you'd need somebody to help you with it.
300
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,743
That would give me an excuse
to come over every day.
301
00:18:05,777 --> 00:18:09,414
So, you thought if you forced me
to become a chicken farmer,
302
00:18:09,446 --> 00:18:12,484
I'd want you here more?
303
00:18:12,517 --> 00:18:13,885
Wasn't a perfect plan.
304
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,156
When Roseanne was alive,
305
00:18:19,190 --> 00:18:21,459
you'd come over,
and I'd give you a hard time.
306
00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:25,430
Now, that worked for 40 years.
I see no reason to change it now.
307
00:18:25,462 --> 00:18:29,334
So, then, why doesn't anybody
ever call me and invite me over?!
308
00:18:29,366 --> 00:18:33,204
You don't need to be invited
because you're always here!
309
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:36,337
And why would you need an invite?
- You're family.
310
00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:38,376
So...
311
00:18:38,475 --> 00:18:44,115
you want me here, and if I didn't
come over, you'd miss me?
312
00:18:44,147 --> 00:18:47,818
Sure. Why not?
313
00:18:47,852 --> 00:18:52,597
There we go... the reluctant compliment.
Dan... our little game continues!
314
00:18:52,622 --> 00:18:53,724
Come here!
315
00:18:58,395 --> 00:19:00,164
Are you still gonna
take Cornflakes home?
316
00:19:00,198 --> 00:19:02,000
Just for a week.
317
00:19:02,032 --> 00:19:04,668
Mom says she's deathly afraid of birds.
318
00:19:04,702 --> 00:19:09,504
We're gonna find out if that's true,
aren't we, Cornflakes?
319
00:19:16,391 --> 00:19:20,017
What are you doing here?
- No reason.
320
00:19:20,049 --> 00:19:21,886
Maybe gamble.
321
00:19:21,918 --> 00:19:26,376
Thought maybe I'd go find that guy
who's been bothering you and say hey.
322
00:19:28,753 --> 00:19:31,556
Punch him till he's unconscious.
323
00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:38,710
So, as my boss, you just decided to
come down here and protect me?
324
00:19:38,735 --> 00:19:42,143
There's no other feelings
motivating this?
325
00:19:42,176 --> 00:19:45,481
What other feelings could I have
that would motivate this?
326
00:19:45,503 --> 00:19:47,038
I don't know. You tell me.
327
00:19:47,071 --> 00:19:49,874
No, you tell "me"
328
00:19:49,907 --> 00:19:54,612
Some people might say
it feels like a boyfriend move?
329
00:19:58,716 --> 00:20:01,285
No. That wouldn't be appropriate.
330
00:20:01,317 --> 00:20:07,190
And I think that you questioning my
intentions is kind of a girlfriend move.
331
00:20:14,832 --> 00:20:16,834
Thanks for not saying anything
about the outfit.
332
00:20:16,866 --> 00:20:17,901
What outfit?
333
00:20:21,337 --> 00:20:23,507
Here you go.
334
00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:24,842
Tell you what.
335
00:20:24,874 --> 00:20:29,321
Sit on my lap for good luck,
and I'll split my winnings with you.
336
00:20:31,414 --> 00:20:33,017
You know what? I have a better idea.
337
00:20:38,389 --> 00:20:39,724
You know I'm gonna get you fired.
338
00:20:39,757 --> 00:20:42,528
Oh, I'm gonna quit before you do.
I win again!
339
00:20:44,295 --> 00:20:47,932
I just threw a drink in the creep's face,
and I'm quitting.
340
00:20:47,965 --> 00:20:49,600
- Really?
- Yeah.
341
00:20:49,632 --> 00:20:52,269
And you know what gave me
the courage to do it?
342
00:20:52,303 --> 00:20:54,305
The fact that you're giving me
a raise and medical.
343
00:20:56,474 --> 00:20:59,043
And it's so great because I didn't
think I could stay sober
344
00:20:59,075 --> 00:21:02,345
after the baby was born,
which is why I agreed to your offer.
345
00:21:02,379 --> 00:21:04,215
But my family really stepped up.
346
00:21:04,247 --> 00:21:06,616
My sister Darlene you know
her from school...
347
00:21:06,650 --> 00:21:10,254
she was just so supportive and amazing,
and now I'm feeling so good
348
00:21:10,286 --> 00:21:13,549
because I feel like I can
finally be a responsible mom!
349
00:21:14,225 --> 00:21:15,947
We're very happy for you.
350
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:23,230
I'm going on break, so Stephanie is
going to take over my section.
351
00:21:23,334 --> 00:21:24,789
Don't forget to tip!
28648
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