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00:00:07,517 --> 00:00:10,821
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:10,899 --> 00:00:12,493
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,205
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:14,292 --> 00:00:17,362
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:17,449 --> 00:00:19,096
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:19,183 --> 00:00:20,937
♪ People spouting,
"howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:21,024 --> 00:00:23,980
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:27,322
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhm rm! ♪
9
00:00:27,416 --> 00:00:30,666
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:30,779 --> 00:00:31,951
*SOUTH PARK*
Season 22 Episode 08
11
00:00:32,029 --> 00:00:34,428
*SOUTH PARK*
Episode Title: "Buddha Box"
12
00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,031
So much has happened.
13
00:00:36,126 --> 00:00:37,672
I don't know where to start.
14
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:39,812
First it was
all the school shootings.
15
00:00:39,962 --> 00:00:42,281
Then these Wi-Fi scooters
showed up.
16
00:00:42,571 --> 00:00:44,241
And now we know
that ManBearPig is real
17
00:00:44,306 --> 00:00:46,562
and we could all be dead
in a matter of years.
18
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,715
And you believe...
19
00:00:49,985 --> 00:00:51,585
this all
relates somehow
20
00:00:51,650 --> 00:00:52,776
to the movie
"Black Panther"
21
00:00:52,841 --> 00:00:55,252
not being as good
as everyone says it was?
22
00:00:55,317 --> 00:00:56,922
I know
there's a connection,
23
00:00:57,032 --> 00:00:58,539
but that isn't
what matters.
24
00:00:58,728 --> 00:01:00,762
I can't deal with people
anymore.
25
00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:03,956
It's just, everyone sucks
so hard, you know?
26
00:01:04,142 --> 00:01:06,461
Everybody is so stupid.
27
00:01:06,697 --> 00:01:09,902
And they all walk around going,
"Way aya ayay blarhghg."
28
00:01:09,967 --> 00:01:11,996
And the only thing
that makes me happy,
29
00:01:12,062 --> 00:01:14,226
the only thing I can trust,
30
00:01:14,544 --> 00:01:15,780
is this.
31
00:01:15,977 --> 00:01:19,150
But all people do
is try to keep me from it.
32
00:01:20,103 --> 00:01:22,773
I'll be in my room,
and my mom will come in and say,
33
00:01:22,838 --> 00:01:25,398
"Eric, that's
enough time on your phone."
34
00:01:25,625 --> 00:01:27,251
And then at school...
35
00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:29,522
"Eric,
what are you doing?
36
00:01:29,587 --> 00:01:31,638
You can't use your phone
at school!"
37
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:32,913
And even my friends.
38
00:01:32,978 --> 00:01:34,445
My own friends, they'll be like,
39
00:01:34,532 --> 00:01:36,030
"Hey, Cartman,
throw us the ball.
40
00:01:36,095 --> 00:01:38,039
You're the Goddamn
quarterback."
41
00:01:38,497 --> 00:01:41,203
It's like everybody needs
something from me.
42
00:01:41,665 --> 00:01:43,655
All I want is
a little time with my phone
43
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,734
instead of always listening
to people's needy bullshit.
44
00:01:49,207 --> 00:01:50,819
Oh, uh, sorry.
Just...
45
00:01:50,884 --> 00:01:52,202
Uh, well, you know,
46
00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:55,141
young people have to deal
with so much today.
47
00:01:55,344 --> 00:01:57,147
I believe
that what you have
48
00:01:57,212 --> 00:01:58,827
is anxiety.
49
00:01:58,917 --> 00:02:00,928
Anxiety?
Is that cool?
50
00:02:00,993 --> 00:02:03,102
It's pretty common
these days.
51
00:02:03,195 --> 00:02:04,967
What it really is
more than anything
52
00:02:05,032 --> 00:02:09,031
is an excuse to be lazy and lame
to everyone around you.
53
00:02:09,431 --> 00:02:11,289
Oh, my God.
That's perfect.
54
00:02:15,754 --> 00:02:17,223
I'm busy.
55
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:21,458
Mr. Principal.
56
00:02:21,523 --> 00:02:23,565
I'm busy doing stuff!
57
00:02:24,207 --> 00:02:25,200
What?!
58
00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:27,517
The vice principal
needs to speak with you.
59
00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:29,269
She says it's urgent.
60
00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:34,026
Oh, PC Principal.
61
00:02:34,098 --> 00:02:35,153
Uh, y-yes?
62
00:02:35,231 --> 00:02:36,994
Are you going in
to see the vice principal?
63
00:02:37,059 --> 00:02:38,158
I really need
to speak with her.
64
00:02:38,223 --> 00:02:39,400
Uh, yeah.
We're just, uh...
65
00:02:39,465 --> 00:02:41,550
We're having an important
scheduling to go over.
66
00:02:41,658 --> 00:02:43,954
Everything is okay
with you two?
67
00:02:44,019 --> 00:02:46,894
There's no more
inappropriate behavior?
68
00:02:47,051 --> 00:02:48,275
You know, as a counselor,
69
00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:49,658
- I'm here to...
- That's in the past, Mackey.
70
00:02:49,723 --> 00:02:50,783
We've paid our dues,
71
00:02:50,848 --> 00:02:52,722
and we're not hiding
anything anymore.
72
00:02:53,371 --> 00:02:55,348
Mkay.
73
00:03:02,347 --> 00:03:04,955
I could use
a little help here!
74
00:03:05,424 --> 00:03:06,689
What's going on?
75
00:03:06,878 --> 00:03:10,408
Riley said a word that her sister
felt was insensitive to Muslims.
76
00:03:10,473 --> 00:03:11,992
Now they're all upset.
77
00:03:12,057 --> 00:03:14,248
All right.
What word did you use, Riley?
78
00:03:14,313 --> 00:03:16,375
She just said,
"Aba daba."
79
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,562
Look, can't we put them
in a daycare?
80
00:03:18,627 --> 00:03:20,931
Oh, yeah.
That would be really smart.
81
00:03:21,097 --> 00:03:22,226
If anybody sees them,
82
00:03:22,291 --> 00:03:24,269
they're gonna figure out
you're the father.
83
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:25,877
Well, maybe they won't.
84
00:03:26,011 --> 00:03:27,410
You wanna risk that?
85
00:03:27,495 --> 00:03:29,024
The babies
have to stay hidden
86
00:03:29,089 --> 00:03:30,203
because if people know
the truth,
87
00:03:30,268 --> 00:03:32,955
then you're not PC,
and I'm not strong!
88
00:03:37,932 --> 00:03:40,220
All right,
can I take your order?
89
00:03:41,292 --> 00:03:42,753
Excuse me.
90
00:03:44,017 --> 00:03:45,662
What would
you like, sir?
91
00:03:45,727 --> 00:03:47,297
Just a God...
Can you wait?
92
00:03:47,362 --> 00:03:50,791
Isn't that your job?
Aren't you a wait-er?!
93
00:03:53,698 --> 00:03:55,477
Hey, could you turn
your phone down, kid?
94
00:03:55,542 --> 00:03:56,641
This is a restaurant.
95
00:03:56,706 --> 00:03:58,907
It just so happens
I have anxiety.
96
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,000
That means
I have trouble
97
00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:02,767
being around assholes
who won't leave me alone!
98
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:09,345
Oh, hello, Eric.
99
00:04:09,432 --> 00:04:11,127
Shut up.
I have anxiety.
100
00:04:11,924 --> 00:04:14,009
- Hey, kid!
- Hey, kid!
101
00:04:14,104 --> 00:04:15,752
I'm on my phone!
102
00:04:15,817 --> 00:04:17,923
You're about
to get hit by a car.
103
00:04:19,227 --> 00:04:20,516
All right, that's it!
104
00:04:20,581 --> 00:04:24,162
- Everyone stop!
- Just stop right now!
105
00:04:24,227 --> 00:04:27,531
Listen up, people!
I have anxiety!
106
00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:29,469
That means
I'm in my shell
107
00:04:29,626 --> 00:04:32,372
and have a hard time
expressing myself.
108
00:04:32,437 --> 00:04:35,628
I find it difficult
to engage with others!
109
00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:38,186
So everyone
shut the ♪♪♪♪ up,
110
00:04:38,251 --> 00:04:41,352
because my anxiety
is up here right now!
111
00:04:44,181 --> 00:04:47,475
We live in a world
of many distractions.
112
00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:49,594
It's hard to find peace.
113
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:52,428
In the hustle and bustle
of modern times,
114
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,275
we've lost the one thing
we all need.
115
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:58,832
More quality one-on-one time...
116
00:04:58,897 --> 00:05:00,319
with our phone.
117
00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:04,094
But now you can have it
with Buddha Box.
118
00:05:04,527 --> 00:05:07,061
Simply fit the patented box
on your head
119
00:05:07,126 --> 00:05:09,539
and set its Bluetooth
to your mobile device.
120
00:05:09,689 --> 00:05:10,872
Inside Buddha Box,
121
00:05:10,937 --> 00:05:13,782
your phone is projected
two inches from your face,
122
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,483
and the noise-canceling
headphones
123
00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:18,921
let you hear your phone
without any outside noise,
124
00:05:19,017 --> 00:05:20,844
giving you peace from...
125
00:05:21,025 --> 00:05:24,258
that annoying Uber driver
who wants to talk,
126
00:05:24,665 --> 00:05:28,383
those people at work
who act like they need stuff.
127
00:05:28,757 --> 00:05:30,878
I want to be enlightened
like the Buddha,
128
00:05:30,943 --> 00:05:33,641
but I've got
these ♪♪♪♪ kids.
129
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:37,797
Let Buddha Box take you to
a place of peace and serenity
130
00:05:37,884 --> 00:05:40,732
where you can have quality,
uninterrupted time
131
00:05:40,797 --> 00:05:42,187
with your phone.
132
00:05:42,534 --> 00:05:44,757
I was stressed out
and feeling anxious.
133
00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:47,030
After just 8 to 10 hours
in Buddha Box,
134
00:05:47,095 --> 00:05:49,656
I feel refreshed and ready
to take on anything.
135
00:05:49,736 --> 00:05:53,148
Babe, can you please come say hi
to my mother while she's here?
136
00:05:56,719 --> 00:05:58,178
Order Buddha Box today,
137
00:05:58,243 --> 00:05:59,428
and you too can have
138
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:02,517
that quiet, quality time
with your phone.
139
00:06:02,611 --> 00:06:06,070
Like the Buddha.
140
00:06:16,337 --> 00:06:17,629
What the hell
is that?
141
00:06:17,876 --> 00:06:19,202
I think
it's Cartman.
142
00:06:19,267 --> 00:06:20,564
What is it
doing?
143
00:06:20,892 --> 00:06:22,084
Ha! That's so sweet!
144
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:23,569
That video seriously
makes me laugh!
145
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:24,686
Lemme check my e-mail again!
146
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,757
Oh, man, nothing from Lorenz
yet? Whatever, weak.
147
00:06:26,822 --> 00:06:28,758
Oh, I gotta see that post
from Clyde again!
148
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,087
Dude.
149
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:46,514
Dude! What the hell
150
00:06:46,579 --> 00:06:47,647
- are you doing?!
- What? What? Who's that?
151
00:06:47,712 --> 00:06:48,789
Get off of me!
152
00:06:48,923 --> 00:06:50,858
Oh, sorry, Craig.
Didn't see you there.
153
00:06:50,923 --> 00:06:53,236
Yeah, 'cause you got
a stupid box on your head.
154
00:06:53,555 --> 00:06:55,265
Oh,
there's nothing stupid about it.
155
00:06:55,485 --> 00:06:58,515
Don't you wish you had a way
to deal with your anxiety?
156
00:06:59,805 --> 00:07:01,273
My anxiety?
157
00:07:01,407 --> 00:07:02,730
I see it in you, Craig.
158
00:07:02,829 --> 00:07:04,451
With your parents
and relationships.
159
00:07:04,516 --> 00:07:07,008
Imagine being able to shut them
out for a little while, Craig,
160
00:07:07,073 --> 00:07:08,953
so you can focus
on what matters.
161
00:07:09,110 --> 00:07:11,510
With Buddha Box, you can cut out
all the unwanted noise.
162
00:07:11,579 --> 00:07:13,069
Not have to deal
with conversations
163
00:07:13,134 --> 00:07:14,539
that are of no interest
to you.
164
00:07:15,009 --> 00:07:17,140
Well, I have to admit,
165
00:07:17,251 --> 00:07:19,319
sometimes when me and Tweek
are together,
166
00:07:19,384 --> 00:07:21,099
it's... it's like he wants
my atten...
167
00:07:28,131 --> 00:07:29,184
All right, children,
168
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,082
we have a lot to go over
for today's quiz.
169
00:07:31,147 --> 00:07:33,208
Who can tell me
where we left off?
170
00:07:35,825 --> 00:07:37,249
Eric.
171
00:07:38,209 --> 00:07:39,833
Eric Cartman.
172
00:07:39,975 --> 00:07:41,535
$34 million box office?
173
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,777
How the hell does "Creed II"
do $34 million opening weekend?
174
00:07:43,842 --> 00:07:44,860
What's the weather like
tomorrow?
175
00:07:44,925 --> 00:07:46,746
Oh, it's snowing?
I gotta tell Lorenz. I...
176
00:07:46,811 --> 00:07:48,032
Whoa, whoa!
Hey!
177
00:07:48,097 --> 00:07:49,579
What do you think
you're doing?
178
00:07:49,644 --> 00:07:51,441
Excuse me.
That's my Buddha Box.
179
00:07:51,507 --> 00:07:53,742
You aren't using this
during class time.
180
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,581
It relaxes me.
Ask my therapist.
181
00:07:55,646 --> 00:07:57,482
I have anxiety,
you dumb bitch.
182
00:07:57,716 --> 00:07:58,941
I don't know
what makes you think
183
00:07:59,006 --> 00:08:00,198
you're different
from everyone else,
184
00:08:00,263 --> 00:08:02,637
but nobody gets away
with slandering teachers
185
00:08:02,702 --> 00:08:03,802
at this school!
186
00:08:03,913 --> 00:08:06,546
Aw, man.
That looks so sweet.
187
00:08:06,649 --> 00:08:07,756
Hey.
188
00:08:08,083 --> 00:08:09,147
HHey!
189
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,723
Oh. PC Principal.
Hello.
190
00:08:12,788 --> 00:08:14,505
Just what do you think
you're doing?
191
00:08:14,616 --> 00:08:17,388
I'm letting go of stress and
being calm, like the Buddha.
192
00:08:17,513 --> 00:08:20,747
There are no boxes
on your head in school.
193
00:08:21,088 --> 00:08:23,177
Hey. Whoa, man.
What's going on?
194
00:08:23,288 --> 00:08:25,318
Are you suffering
from anxiety?
195
00:08:25,967 --> 00:08:27,318
What are you
talking about?
196
00:08:27,514 --> 00:08:29,583
It's okay.
I have it, too.
197
00:08:29,694 --> 00:08:31,200
Anxiety
is very real.
198
00:08:31,327 --> 00:08:33,577
But there is help
for people like us.
199
00:08:40,547 --> 00:08:43,357
What the ****
are you doing?
200
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:46,449
Hey! What the ****
are you doing?!
201
00:08:46,514 --> 00:08:49,543
Oh, hey. I just needed to answer
a couple e-mails really fast.
202
00:08:49,608 --> 00:08:51,340
With a box
on your head?
203
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:53,286
I got one for you, too.
204
00:08:53,435 --> 00:08:55,200
It's Buddha Box.
205
00:08:55,643 --> 00:08:58,272
Look, you and I have been
having a lot of problems.
206
00:08:58,415 --> 00:09:00,059
Clearly what
we both need
207
00:09:00,124 --> 00:09:03,122
is more quality, one-on-one time
with our phones.
208
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:06,240
I don't need a box on my head
to use the phone.
209
00:09:06,405 --> 00:09:08,943
I'm sorry!
I was trying to be helpful!
210
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,504
All right, Riley, give that back
to your brother.
211
00:09:16,569 --> 00:09:18,521
Bailey, no.
212
00:09:20,164 --> 00:09:22,552
Harper, don't...
Harp-er!
213
00:09:44,941 --> 00:09:46,838
♪ PC Babies ♪
214
00:09:46,964 --> 00:09:49,802
♪ They're comin' to your town ♪
215
00:09:49,867 --> 00:09:51,616
♪ PC Babies ♪
216
00:09:51,681 --> 00:09:54,086
♪ The wokest kids around ♪
217
00:09:54,151 --> 00:09:56,642
♪ When there's something
problematic ♪
218
00:09:56,707 --> 00:09:59,056
♪ They're gonna let you know ♪
219
00:09:59,121 --> 00:10:01,500
♪ Making things
fun and gender neutral ♪
220
00:10:01,565 --> 00:10:03,522
♪ Everywhere they go ♪
221
00:10:03,659 --> 00:10:06,040
♪ They're everybody's
fave-sies ♪
222
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:09,041
♪ They're PC Babies, yeah ♪
223
00:10:09,863 --> 00:10:11,602
Hey, Mike, what's that
you're drinking?
224
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:13,837
This? Oh.
It's a Cosmopolitan.
225
00:10:13,902 --> 00:10:16,697
I know, I know.
It's a pussy drink.
226
00:10:19,071 --> 00:10:20,493
Hey,
be careful, guys.
227
00:10:20,558 --> 00:10:23,088
There's some PC Babies
over there.
228
00:10:24,628 --> 00:10:25,698
Oh, great.
229
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,416
Come on, I didn't mean
pussy drink
230
00:10:27,481 --> 00:10:29,642
as in
female genitalia.
231
00:10:30,261 --> 00:10:31,986
Okay, I'm sorry!
232
00:10:32,056 --> 00:10:34,900
I'll order
a Black Russian!
233
00:10:35,471 --> 00:10:37,710
Hey, what's all that racket
down there?
234
00:10:37,775 --> 00:10:39,418
Oh, there's
some PC Babies
235
00:10:39,483 --> 00:10:41,882
upset about certain
drink descriptions.
236
00:10:41,979 --> 00:10:44,322
Fine. We'll take them
off the menu.
237
00:10:44,464 --> 00:10:47,455
Who's makin' a difference?
Who's the future?
238
00:10:53,777 --> 00:10:55,477
Here it comes!
Block it!
239
00:11:00,144 --> 00:11:01,382
What the ****,
dude?!
240
00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:03,424
What is your
Goddamn problem?!
241
00:11:04,214 --> 00:11:05,356
What's going on?
242
00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:07,368
They just scored again,
you fat! ****
243
00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:08,540
Oh, I'm sorry!
244
00:11:08,605 --> 00:11:10,458
I'm sorry I'm dealing
with my anxiety!
245
00:11:10,523 --> 00:11:12,305
Do you know how hard it is
for people with my condition
246
00:11:12,370 --> 00:11:14,166
to come out and even do
things like this?
247
00:11:14,336 --> 00:11:16,869
Living with anxiety is
awful, huh, Craig?
248
00:11:18,027 --> 00:11:19,805
Can we get another
goalie, please?
249
00:11:19,870 --> 00:11:20,990
Oh, yeah!
Sure!
250
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,438
Yeah, because people
with anxiety
251
00:11:22,503 --> 00:11:24,412
shouldn't be allowed
to play sports, right, Kyle?
252
00:11:24,477 --> 00:11:26,110
You know, our world
is dark and scary enough
253
00:11:26,175 --> 00:11:28,736
without people like you
making us feel inferior.
254
00:11:29,793 --> 00:11:31,191
Asshole.
255
00:11:31,951 --> 00:11:33,284
**** this.
256
00:11:33,574 --> 00:11:36,432
My parents didn't come here to
watch their son lose by 20 points!
257
00:11:36,503 --> 00:11:38,158
Come on, Dad.
Let's go!
258
00:11:38,909 --> 00:11:40,378
Dad?
259
00:11:42,089 --> 00:11:44,464
River?!
Bailey?!
260
00:11:44,639 --> 00:11:45,766
Emory?!
261
00:11:45,853 --> 00:11:47,525
It's okay.
We're gonna find them.
262
00:11:47,590 --> 00:11:49,773
I can't believe
you were on your phone.
263
00:11:49,869 --> 00:11:51,579
You were on
your phone, too.
264
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:53,156
It was my time
to be on the phone.
265
00:11:53,221 --> 00:11:54,578
You were on yours
all morning!
266
00:11:54,670 --> 00:11:55,902
You're seriously gonna make
267
00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:57,113
- this all my fault.
- Yes!
268
00:11:57,178 --> 00:11:59,363
Because last I checked,
you didn't even want me around
269
00:11:59,428 --> 00:12:01,425
as a partner to the PC Babies,
even though I...
270
00:12:01,490 --> 00:12:02,542
Oh, God!
I'm not doing this again.
271
00:12:02,607 --> 00:12:04,308
Even though you need me
to do shit for you
272
00:12:04,373 --> 00:12:05,723
every ten
**** minutes.
273
00:12:05,904 --> 00:12:08,090
You don't get to just say
whatever you...
274
00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:11,355
Oh. Okay, cool.
Fine with me.
275
00:12:11,483 --> 00:12:12,847
I'm the one who has
a **** problem
276
00:12:12,912 --> 00:12:14,536
on their **** phone.
277
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,902
You know, usually,
I'm afraid to tell you
278
00:12:17,967 --> 00:12:20,340
what I really think,
but you wanna know something?
279
00:12:21,229 --> 00:12:22,311
You wanna...
280
00:12:22,376 --> 00:12:24,200
You wanna know
what I really think?
281
00:12:26,851 --> 00:12:30,333
Anxiety can make you feel
unable to cope.
282
00:12:30,543 --> 00:12:33,089
But living with someone
who has anxiety can
283
00:12:33,154 --> 00:12:35,287
be a bit of a roller coaster,
as well.
284
00:12:35,542 --> 00:12:38,612
We have to support our
loved ones with their anxiety
285
00:12:38,677 --> 00:12:40,904
and try to understand
their illness.
286
00:12:41,042 --> 00:12:43,675
I just feel like Craig has
changed so much lately!
287
00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:45,669
He barely even
talks to me anymore!
288
00:12:45,743 --> 00:12:48,214
Well, because his anxiety
makes him feel like
289
00:12:48,279 --> 00:12:50,636
anything he says
might sound wrong.
290
00:12:50,734 --> 00:12:52,855
That's why we must nurture
our loved ones
291
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,184
so they feel safe.
292
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:57,784
Eric, I just feel like you have
so much to offer the world
293
00:12:57,849 --> 00:13:00,114
and it kills me that
you're so afraid
294
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,426
to let your
inner you shine.
295
00:13:02,585 --> 00:13:05,151
That guy's such a douche.
296
00:13:05,216 --> 00:13:07,223
What was that... what was that
one show he was on?
297
00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:09,507
Maybe you... you wanna
text him that?
298
00:13:09,717 --> 00:13:12,552
Oh, yeah, "B.J. and the Bear."
That show was so dumb.
299
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:13,960
What kind of monkey
was that anyway?
300
00:13:14,025 --> 00:13:15,269
What was that...
What was that monkey...
301
00:13:15,334 --> 00:13:17,520
Wait... What the...
What the hell is this?
302
00:13:17,757 --> 00:13:19,154
Oh, God damn it!
303
00:13:19,267 --> 00:13:21,809
Mom, will you stop texting me,
please? I'm trying to relax!
304
00:13:21,874 --> 00:13:23,253
Look, we're all
just trying
305
00:13:23,318 --> 00:13:24,519
to understand
this condition,
306
00:13:24,584 --> 00:13:26,080
and it's like
you're not listening.
307
00:13:26,145 --> 00:13:27,331
We're doing
everything we can
308
00:13:27,396 --> 00:13:28,878
to keep our anxiety
under control!
309
00:13:28,981 --> 00:13:30,642
Do you think I even wanna
be here right now!
310
00:13:30,707 --> 00:13:32,381
I am freaking out!
311
00:13:34,846 --> 00:13:36,153
Can we go now?
312
00:13:36,229 --> 00:13:38,134
Yeah,
that's pretty cool.
313
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:43,085
Hey! Hey!
What's going on here?!
314
00:13:43,150 --> 00:13:44,484
Why aren't you people
working?
315
00:13:44,549 --> 00:13:46,161
We can't keep
buildin', sir.
316
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,916
We got a bunch of protestors
who won't let us work.
317
00:13:49,004 --> 00:13:50,530
Protestors?
Who?
318
00:13:50,643 --> 00:13:52,518
Ugh, just a bunch
of PC Babies
319
00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:54,501
who think building this thing
is wrong.
320
00:13:56,889 --> 00:14:00,314
All right! All right!
What do you PC Babies want?
321
00:14:02,036 --> 00:14:04,244
I guess they're upset
because the new viaduct
322
00:14:04,309 --> 00:14:08,008
is being financed by a state
rather than county institution.
323
00:14:08,073 --> 00:14:11,759
Aw, come on, PC Babies!
Why does that matter?
324
00:14:12,379 --> 00:14:14,344
I guess the state
refused to finance
325
00:14:14,409 --> 00:14:17,099
a proposed program
on race-relation education,
326
00:14:17,164 --> 00:14:18,694
and they see it
as hypocritical.
327
00:14:18,759 --> 00:14:19,816
God damn it!
328
00:14:19,910 --> 00:14:22,353
Not everyone cares about
race relation programs!
329
00:14:22,418 --> 00:14:25,173
Come on, PC Babies!
We got a job to do!
330
00:14:28,848 --> 00:14:31,189
All right, all right,
just calm down, lady!
331
00:14:31,326 --> 00:14:33,408
You want to file
a Missing-Persons report?
332
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:36,281
No! No, we don't want to file
anything specific.
333
00:14:36,346 --> 00:14:39,151
We just need help finding
some PC Babies.
334
00:14:39,216 --> 00:14:40,378
PC Babies?
335
00:14:40,487 --> 00:14:42,375
They usually hang out
at liberal arts colleges.
336
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:43,715
You could find some there.
337
00:14:43,780 --> 00:14:46,439
No, no, it's five
specific PC Babies.
338
00:14:46,517 --> 00:14:47,824
Tony, wasn't
there a report
339
00:14:47,889 --> 00:14:49,883
of some PC Babies
down at the Mexican border?
340
00:14:49,948 --> 00:14:53,491
No, no, these PC Babies
wouldn't have gotten that far.
341
00:14:53,573 --> 00:14:56,134
They can barely walk.
I'm their mother.
342
00:14:56,211 --> 00:14:58,187
Okay, okay.
Last name?
343
00:14:58,252 --> 00:14:59,275
Woman.
344
00:14:59,353 --> 00:15:00,563
First name?
345
00:15:00,628 --> 00:15:01,758
S-strong...
346
00:15:01,823 --> 00:15:03,398
Okay.
And you're the father?
347
00:15:03,463 --> 00:15:04,477
- No!
- No!
348
00:15:04,542 --> 00:15:05,922
I am her superior
at work!
349
00:15:05,987 --> 00:15:07,113
Don't be ridiculous!
350
00:15:07,178 --> 00:15:08,327
You think I took advantage
351
00:15:08,392 --> 00:15:10,257
- of my position?! I'm
- I'm not some two bit floozy...
352
00:15:10,322 --> 00:15:12,633
- who goes around sleeping with the boss!
- Not Harvey Weinstein, all right?!
353
00:15:12,698 --> 00:15:14,164
- I have nothing but respect
- I am a strong
354
00:15:14,229 --> 00:15:15,757
- for females in my workplace...
- woman! Those kids
355
00:15:15,822 --> 00:15:17,375
- were born naturally by
- and I would never compromise
356
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,673
- in-vitro fertilization!
- That position!
357
00:15:22,350 --> 00:15:24,138
We'll, uh...
see what we can do.
358
00:15:24,203 --> 00:15:27,012
In the meantime, you'll just
have to take a seat and wait.
359
00:15:46,117 --> 00:15:47,700
Go.
360
00:15:48,082 --> 00:15:49,707
Go!
361
00:15:50,348 --> 00:15:51,367
What do you want?
362
00:15:51,432 --> 00:15:53,175
Go down the slide
or get out of the way!
363
00:15:53,262 --> 00:15:54,924
You think I even want
to be here, Kyle?
364
00:15:54,989 --> 00:15:57,033
My therapist told me
I need to force myself
365
00:15:57,098 --> 00:15:59,242
to go out and do things
to overcome my anxiety.
366
00:15:59,356 --> 00:16:01,222
Can we move him,
please?!
367
00:16:01,434 --> 00:16:02,549
Oh! Oh, I see!
368
00:16:02,614 --> 00:16:04,556
People with anxiety shouldn't be
allowed at water parks.
369
00:16:04,621 --> 00:16:05,650
Is that it, Kyle?
370
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,572
Hey, everybody!
Just so you know!
371
00:16:07,637 --> 00:16:10,019
Kyle thinks people with anxiety
should just stay home!
372
00:16:10,121 --> 00:16:11,845
Yeah, I'm trying to come
out of my shell,
373
00:16:11,910 --> 00:16:14,753
but Dr. Kyle here is just
worried about his place in line.
374
00:16:17,902 --> 00:16:20,385
Get. Off. My. Towel.
375
00:16:20,739 --> 00:16:21,986
Get off my towel!
376
00:16:22,051 --> 00:16:23,268
God damn it!
377
00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:25,259
I seriously can't get
a minute of peace!
378
00:16:25,324 --> 00:16:26,939
Why is it that people who don't
have a Buddha box
379
00:16:27,004 --> 00:16:28,486
are always flipping
Buddha boxes off the heads
380
00:16:28,551 --> 00:16:29,424
of people with anxiety?
381
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,802
I got news for you, Cartman!
Everyone has anxiety!
382
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,456
Everyone gets nervous!
383
00:16:34,522 --> 00:16:36,354
Everyone is afraid
being around people!
384
00:16:36,426 --> 00:16:38,542
Everyone has feelings
they'd rather stay home alone.
385
00:16:38,653 --> 00:16:41,323
And you know what they do?
They get over it!
386
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:44,065
And they stop being
a piece of shit.
387
00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:46,405
Everyone has anxiety?
388
00:16:46,470 --> 00:16:47,785
Yes.
389
00:16:48,293 --> 00:16:49,415
Oh, my God!
390
00:16:49,481 --> 00:16:50,579
I know what
I have to do now!
391
00:16:50,644 --> 00:16:51,744
Y-You're right, Kyle!
392
00:16:51,809 --> 00:16:53,487
- You're right!
- What?!
393
00:16:53,652 --> 00:16:55,254
No,
no!
394
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:56,676
What did I just do?
395
00:16:56,848 --> 00:16:58,776
Should have just let him be
on his phone, dude.
396
00:17:00,168 --> 00:17:01,987
You know what the kids like
today?
397
00:17:02,059 --> 00:17:03,717
They like music that matters!
398
00:17:03,782 --> 00:17:05,517
I think you guys
got what it takes
399
00:17:05,582 --> 00:17:07,009
to be the next big thing!
400
00:17:07,074 --> 00:17:09,175
The PC Babies!
401
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,934
That's what I'm talkin' about!
That stuff is raw!
402
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,774
Everyone loves you,
PC Babies!
403
00:17:15,839 --> 00:17:18,167
We're gonna make you
famous!
404
00:17:21,339 --> 00:17:24,003
All right, PC Babies,
let's hear what you got.
405
00:17:34,665 --> 00:17:36,038
All right,
South Park,
406
00:17:36,103 --> 00:17:38,364
and now here's that special
treat we told you about.
407
00:17:38,429 --> 00:17:41,120
Live with us in the studio
is a hot new band...
408
00:17:41,208 --> 00:17:42,404
The PC Babies.
409
00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:43,916
They're gonna perform
their new song,
410
00:17:43,981 --> 00:17:46,573
which is about the injustice
of white people in dreadlocks.
411
00:17:46,684 --> 00:17:48,644
It's called "Waaaaghgh."
412
00:17:55,745 --> 00:17:57,018
Riley?
413
00:17:57,223 --> 00:17:58,822
Th-That's Bailey!
414
00:17:58,923 --> 00:18:02,915
It's the PC Babies...
Guess they're all the rage now.
415
00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:04,198
Come on!
416
00:18:08,091 --> 00:18:09,553
To quiet one's mind...
417
00:18:09,685 --> 00:18:12,066
one must have a dialogue
with oneself.
418
00:18:12,243 --> 00:18:13,574
I have found enlightenment,
419
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:15,629
but there are so many others
who suffer...
420
00:18:15,859 --> 00:18:17,877
It's very important
to take the time
421
00:18:17,942 --> 00:18:19,465
to shut out the outside word.
422
00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:23,058
In the Hindu religion,
there's a saying, "namaste."
423
00:18:23,130 --> 00:18:26,191
It means, " **** you.
I have anxiety."
424
00:18:26,435 --> 00:18:28,344
At first, I thought
it was only a few of us.
425
00:18:28,409 --> 00:18:30,714
But then something was
said to me by Kyle.
426
00:18:30,779 --> 00:18:34,836
He said "Eric, my friend,
everyone has anxiety."
427
00:18:35,044 --> 00:18:36,387
I know what
you're thinking.
428
00:18:36,509 --> 00:18:37,614
**** Kyle.
429
00:18:37,739 --> 00:18:39,151
And normally,
I would agree with you.
430
00:18:39,216 --> 00:18:40,832
But hear his words.
431
00:18:40,981 --> 00:18:43,175
Everyone has anxiety.
432
00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:45,800
We must recognize this disease
as an epidemic.
433
00:18:45,865 --> 00:18:48,456
Yes, **** Kyle, but, Mayor,
we have to raise money
434
00:18:48,521 --> 00:18:51,809
to get everyone who has anxiety
the tools they need to cope.
435
00:18:52,701 --> 00:18:54,925
And how do you think
we get that money?
436
00:18:54,990 --> 00:18:57,512
How do you suggest
we do this?
437
00:18:58,044 --> 00:18:59,459
Namaste.
438
00:19:00,315 --> 00:19:02,170
Na-ma-ste.
439
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,379
**** you, too.
440
00:19:07,623 --> 00:19:09,855
That was far out,
PC Babies!
441
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:11,445
You really rocked
the airwaves!
442
00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:13,669
Now come on.
We got a photo shoot at 5:00!
443
00:19:13,865 --> 00:19:15,873
Kids!
444
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,786
You're okay!
Thank God!
445
00:19:19,928 --> 00:19:21,142
Who the hell are you?
446
00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:23,753
I'm their...
vice principal.
447
00:19:23,818 --> 00:19:25,386
Yes, and I-I'm
their principal.
448
00:19:25,451 --> 00:19:27,081
We need to get these kids
back to school.
449
00:19:27,146 --> 00:19:29,995
You can't do that!
These are the PC Babies!
450
00:19:30,060 --> 00:19:31,544
Don't you know
how big they are?
451
00:19:31,609 --> 00:19:33,925
In just one day,
they protested a bar,
452
00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:36,292
stopped construction
of a problematic viaduct,
453
00:19:36,357 --> 00:19:39,747
and wrote a hit single
about cultural appropriation.
454
00:19:40,037 --> 00:19:41,093
They...
455
00:19:41,293 --> 00:19:42,996
did all that?
456
00:19:43,395 --> 00:19:45,442
Oh, my God.
457
00:19:45,607 --> 00:19:47,485
They had their
first protests...
458
00:19:47,607 --> 00:19:49,067
and we missed it.
459
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:52,520
We missed everything because...
we were on our phones.
460
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:54,706
I've always used the phone
as a way to deal
461
00:19:54,771 --> 00:19:55,823
with the stress
of having babies
462
00:19:55,888 --> 00:19:57,598
nobody could
know the truth about,
463
00:19:57,678 --> 00:19:59,536
but it's only
made it worse.
464
00:19:59,724 --> 00:20:01,614
You know what we have
to do, right?
465
00:20:02,013 --> 00:20:04,622
Yeah...
I think so.
466
00:20:06,756 --> 00:20:08,488
PC Principal: All right,
everyone, listen up.
467
00:20:08,553 --> 00:20:11,019
The vice principal and I have
been discussing student health.
468
00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:13,761
And it's our firm belief
that what they need,
469
00:20:13,826 --> 00:20:17,176
and what we all need,
is less time on our phones.
470
00:20:19,209 --> 00:20:21,511
Yes, yes I know
it's an unpopular idea,
471
00:20:21,576 --> 00:20:23,606
but just hear me out,
please.
472
00:20:24,107 --> 00:20:26,317
Our phones are
the cause of stress,
473
00:20:26,412 --> 00:20:27,777
not the relief from it.
474
00:20:27,842 --> 00:20:30,691
We are banning phones
and Buddha Boxes from school,
475
00:20:30,756 --> 00:20:32,128
and we suggest you all
476
00:20:32,193 --> 00:20:34,843
strictly limit their use
at home, as well.
477
00:20:38,267 --> 00:20:40,895
I don't think anyone's
listening to you.
478
00:20:41,915 --> 00:20:43,045
Yeah.
479
00:20:43,223 --> 00:20:44,652
Nobody's listening.
480
00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:48,177
And nobody's
watching.
481
00:20:48,393 --> 00:20:51,896
I guess we could wait and ban
the boxes tomorrow?
482
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:58,775
♪ You keep brushing that hair
back out of your eyes ♪
483
00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:05,146
♪ And it just keeps falling
and so do I ♪
484
00:21:05,343 --> 00:21:11,903
♪ I am feeling like
the luckiest man alive ♪
485
00:21:12,039 --> 00:21:15,825
♪ Today ♪
486
00:21:16,072 --> 00:21:22,043
♪ And I don't know
about tomorrow ♪
487
00:21:22,108 --> 00:21:28,729
♪ Right now, the whole
world feels right ♪
488
00:21:28,919 --> 00:21:35,148
♪ And the memory of a day like ♪
489
00:21:35,213 --> 00:21:39,114
♪ Can get you through
the rest of your ♪
490
00:21:39,421 --> 00:21:41,433
♪ Life ♪
491
00:21:41,659 --> 00:21:44,661
Sync corrections by srjanapala
492
00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:48,452
Eric, I just feel like you have
so much to offer the world
493
00:21:48,517 --> 00:21:50,880
and it... kills me that
you're so afraid
494
00:21:50,945 --> 00:21:52,975
to let your
inner you shine.
495
00:21:53,260 --> 00:21:55,625
That guy's such a douche.
496
00:21:55,755 --> 00:21:57,893
What was that... what was that
one show he was on?
497
00:21:57,971 --> 00:22:00,305
Maybe you... you wanna
text him that?
37067
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