All language subtitles for Ghosts.2021.S01E07.1080p.WEB.H264-CAKES-NHI

This is a stickup.
Everybody down on the ground.

Just stay on the floor,
and nobody gets hurt.

Hurry up before
the pigs get here.

Be cool.

Why are you doing this?

Because banks are a bummer, man.

This mask is so hot.

Ah, it's like my hair
was sweating.

Flower, put your
mask back on.

Don't use my real name.

That's not your real name.

Oh, right, it's Susan.

Let's get out
of here.

G-Go, go, go!

Bye.

♪ ♪

Babe?

Sam?

Hey. I got you your favorite.

Oh, Daisy's Coffee Shop.
I love this place. Thanks, babe.

That is an americano
for my booboo,

and a perfectly normal adult
caffeinated beverage for me.

This is not a man who's destined
to keep it tight, Sam.

What are you working on?

Well, I'm trying to come up with
article ideas for my meeting

at The Ulster County Review
tomorrow.

The New Yorker
of the Hudson Valley?

That's a big opportunity.

Yeah, this is the kind
of serious journalism

I've always
wanted to do,

and if it goes well, it could
turn into a regular gig.

You're gonna kill it, babe.

All right,
I'll leave you to it.

Mmm. Yum.

Mmm. Mm.

I can't watch a man
do this to himself.

I'm okay with it.

Love you, babe.

Ooh, wait.

I've got an article
idea for you.

What about a profile
of a local celebrity?

Ooh, like who?

I'm right here.

You said you wanted
a good story,

I'm a good story.

Oh,
I got a story.

Did I ever tell you guys
about the time I robbed a bank?

Only once a week
for the last 50 years.

Wait, you robbed
a bank?

Flower's hippie cult
knocked off a bank,

then gave the money
to poor people.

This was the commune,
not the cult.

They're very similar, but the
commune let you wear your shoes

and you could still talk
to your family.

A Robin Hood hippie
bank robbery? That's amazing.

This should be
the article I write.

Article? What's
she talking about?

Oh, it's for
a local magazine.

This is exactly the kind
of thing they'd love.

Quirky,
human interest.

Well you-you can't write
about it. I'm sorry.

What?

Flower, this
would be, like,

the biggest assignment
I've ever landed.

They made me take
an eternal blood oath

to never talk about it.

Oh, totally not a cult.

Flower, you told us
about it a million times.

Well, that's different than
publishing it in a magazine.

But, Flower, it would just be...

I said no!

So... I guess
we're back to Alberta.

Hold up.

"Back to Alberta."

I think we just found our title.

So, what do we think?

I'm gonna say just moved
from the city, Ivy League.

Close. Northwestern.

You can see us?

It's kind of a long story.

I had this
near-death experience,

and now I see ghosts.

I guess that's not such
a long story.

Name's Winky. Age 12
when I kicked the bucket.

Headline? I got trampled
by a horse.

I'm Shiki. I'm Lenape, and
I've been here since the 1500s.

Lenape?

I actually
know a...

Who are you
talking to?

I...

I-I was, uh, just practicing
for our meeting.

I was saying I actually know
some stories to pitch you.

Let me just, uh,
check these out. Okay.

Oh. Oh, okay,
that... works.

Okay. Oof, no. No.

Did that. That's too obvious.
What's this in the margin here?

Gummy bears?
Was there a listeria outbreak

in the plant or something?

No, my husband wrote that.

He wanted me to pick up
gummy bears while I was in town

because we ran out,
and he likes gummy bears.

Look, there's some
good ideas in there,

but if I'm gonna hire
a freelancer,

I really need to be wowed,

so unless you
can do that,

I'm gonna have to say,
"Nice to meet you,

and I'm sorry."

Wait, what if I told you
that I had a lead on a story

about a group of hippies
who held up

Hudson Valley
Citizens Bank

in the 1960s
and were never caught?

I'm interested.
Who's your source?

Can you bring them in?

No.

Uh, only I can see them.

Give me 6,000 words by Tuesday.

Sold. A hippie bank robbery?

You should've led
with that one, kid.

Hey, babe.

So, how'd it go?

Well, he bought one of my ideas.

That's great.

We're gonna celebrate tonight
with gummy bears,

which you left in the car,
he said hopefully?

So...

which article
did he buy?

Look, you can't tell Flower.

I literally can't see Flower.

Oh, I was talking
to Alberta and Isaac.

They were already
in here with you.

That's not
creepy at all.

I panicked,
and I pitched the story

about Flower's commune
robbing the bank.

The editor
flipped for it.

That's great.

Yes!

Bravo!

No, it's terrible.

Flower explicitly told me
not to write about it.

Okay, well,
she's not gonna know.

Come on, babe,
this is your dream gig.

I know, and now that
they bought it,

it's not like I can
go back there saying,

"Whoop, never mind." They'll
never want to work with me.

Plus, this whole thing
makes no sense.

For years, she's
bragged about it.

Now, suddenly, she doesn't want
the whole world to know.

Mm. That girl
is hiding something,

and if she's hiding something,
it's probably juicy,

and if it's juicy,
I'm gonna need to know it.

Mm, Sam, you must
write this article.

But Flower's my only source,
and I can't even interview her.

So just have
the ghosts do it.

Yes. Yes. His mind
is as sharp as his jawline.

And with questions
woven into conversation

by her trusted
ghost friends,

she will be
completely unaware.

You think that'll work?

The girl was staring at a shadow
for four hours yesterday,

so yeah, I think
we can outfox her.

Hey, babe, I...

No one's gonna tell me
how that conversation ended?

Oh, great, there
you are, Sasappis.

Uh, seriously? Can I get
a roll call, please?

Sure. Sasappis,
Pete, Trevor.

That's never not gonna be weird.

I ran into this Lenape ghost

who died around
the same time as you,

and I was wondering
if you knew her.

Her name was Shiki.

Shiki? What?
Are you serious?

Did you just ask if two
Lenape people knew each other?

She was the love
of my life.

That's like me asking you

if you know another
white lady from Ohio.

Shh. He knew her.
They were in love.

Well, I was in love
with her,

and I thought she was
in love with me,

so I killed a deer,
and brought it to her family.

Sure.

And then I never heard
from her again.

Oh, my God.

What? What happened?

She ghosted him.

What?

Excuse me?

Hey, what's that
supposed to mean?

I'm guessing

they did not like
the ghosted thing.

Oh, no, no, no.
Ghosting is what people say

when you're dating someone,
and they just kind of vanish.

Is the point that
ghosts have no manners?

Walk me through this.

Who knows what was going on
for Shiki 500 years ago.

The point is she could be in

a completely different
headspace now.

I think you should
reach out.

I can pass on a message.

Uh, okay, yeah.

Uh, how about,
"Shiki,

"not a day has passed
since we parted

"that I haven't
thought of you.

You are the love of my life."

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's coming on
way too strong.

What's the difference?
They're ghosts,

and they can't even be
in the same place.

But they could be,
one day, right?

I mean, you guys do,
eventually, go up, right?

Get sucked off, right.

Yes, in theory,
they could.

Yeah, so he's got to play
this right, and I can help.

I mean, this is
basically texting,

and who's better at texting
than your hubs?

Texting was just
catching on when I died.

I would've loved to work
with the medium more.

Sasappis, you should just say
what you want to say.

Women value honesty
and romance, not games.

That's so cute.

When I first met you,
I wanted to text you

every two minutes,

but I didn't do that,
you want to know why?

Because it would've
scared you off.

Okay, listen to
this man, Sass.

I'm not saying this is a Lyle
Lovett, Julia Roberts situation,

but he did well
for himself.

You know what
my dating strategy is?

I like to get myself

in something I call
"the friendzone."

Now, nine out of ten times you
end up completely desexualized,

as if you're a puppy
or their brother,

but, at the end of the day,

you got a new friend,
so win-win, right?

Yeah, I think I'm gonna go
with Jay on this one.

Fine. Jay, Sasappis wants
to know what he should say.

Okay, first of all,
delete that corny mess

and repeat after me,
"'Sup," apostrophe,

S-U-P. End it
with a period.

It is a question,
but we don't care enough

to put a question mark,
do we?

Sup.

Oh, this guy's good.

I am ready
to be Miyagi'd.

Oh, hello, Flower.

Just popping in for a casual
chat amongst close friends.

Oh, hey, guys.

You know what I thought
was awesome, Isaac?

Oh, what's that, Alberta?

How my girl,
Flower, here

stood up to Sam
about the bank robbery.

That's not Sam's story
to tell,

that's Flower's
thing.

Agreed.

Although, I'm curious

as to why you didn't want her
to write the story.

Considering how freely you
bless us with retellings of it.

Well, just between us?

Obviously.

There's just a part of the story

I'm not ready to tell.

Mm-hmm.

Mm, that's all
you need to say.

Although, I'm worried that Sam,
conniving Living that she is,

will find some way
to trick you

into telling her
your dark secret.

Do you think?

It's a risk, though...

Here's a thought,

what if you were tell us
your deep, dark secret,

so we can help steer Sam
as far away from it as possible?

Wait, why are you guys asking me
so many questions about myself?

What? Uh, it's
perfectly consistent

with our personalities
to want to know more

about our good old
friend, Flower.

Well, if we're
such good friends,

what's my last name?

It's Montero.

Montero!

Mm-hmm.

I knew that.
I remember that.

Okay. So, here's
what I want to know,

since you guys are acting
all suspicious and stuff...

Oh, my God.
Is she still with us?

What's going on?

Hard to say.

Wait, what-what were we
just talking about?

It was important, wasn't it?

You know,
I don't really recall.

Oh, wait, was it love?

Sure.

Oh, I love love.

I also hate tomatoes,

and those are a couple
of things about me.

Good to know.

Uh, yes.

I am glad we got
to the bottom of that.

Hey. I gave Shiki
the message.

It wasn't easy.

The editor was very curious

as to why I just showed up
with no appointment.

Uh, you're back.

Hey.

Can I help you?

Uh, I just stopped by
to let you know

how things were going
with the article.

Okay.

Right, uh, so I
dropped by the bank,

and they're putting me
in touch with a woman

who was a young teller
at the time,

so I'm gonna give her a call,
and that is where we're at.

Okay, that's it, yeah.

Uh, feels like this
could've been an email

or a non-share, really.

Mm.

So, what did she say?

Did you read her the message?

Yes, I did.

I read the message
that you guys workshopped,

and let me say again,
I was not a fan of it.

"Sup. Cool you're
still around, Shiki.

Would love to hear
the haps sometime. Maybe."

That's-that's it.
That's all he said.

"Sup"?

And?

And...

she had a response.

"Hey."

"Hey"? That's it?

Oh, she's good.

What? How is that good?
What do we do now?

Sasappis is freaking out,
which makes sense

because, clearly,
that was terrible advice.

No, no, no, no, no.

If she's playing the game,
that means she's interested.

All we have to do now
is craft the perfect reply.

Good news is we have
a week to do it,

anything sooner than that
is just thirsty.

I am so out
of my element

with this written
communication thing.

Funny guys must
clean up these days.

I'd be friendzoning
everybody, hard.

Good news, Samantha.
We found out

that Flower has a deep dark
secret about the robbery.

Oh, amazing. What is it?

No, no, that's it.
We just found out she has one.

Is that enough to go off?

Now let's talk byline.

Alberta and I are fine
if your name comes first,

since you'll be doing
most of the typing.

However...

Okay, just had a pretty intense
acid flashback,

but I remember before that,
you guys were asking me

a bunch of questions
about the robbery.

Why were you
doing that?

Because... we're interested
in your life, Flower.

And now you're talking to Sam,
who wanted to write the article

about me before...

Oh, my God,

she's piecing it together
in real time.

Nobody move. She has one
plus one, but I'm not confident

she realizes
it makes two.

This is ridiculous.
Flower, I'm sorry.

The editor didn't like
my other ideas,

and I was desperate,
so I pitched your story.

Whoa. Not groovy, Sam.

I know.

It was wrong, but I still

don't get why
you don't want the article.

Yeah, what are you
hiding, Flower?

Yes, just
tell us, Flower.

Why are you
so afraid to share

that which you claim to be
the most proud of?

Because I'm not proud
of it, okay?

The money never went
to any good cause.

The commune never donated it.

What? Why not?

Because before they could
give it away, I stole it.

Really? No one else gasped?

Well, I guess if you're
not gasping at that,

you're simply not a gasper.

After the bank robbery,
the commune spent weeks debating

what to do with the money.

Seven...

Eight...

And... all right,

so that's nine for helping out
the feral cats of Costa Rica.

And one
for narwhals.

Damn it, Brenda.
It has to be unanimous.

I'm not changing my vote.

Look,

Brenda, the feral cats
of Costa Rica

live in awful
conditions.

They sleep
in the dirt.

They-they have no escape
from the elements.

They eat out of
the garbage.

I have an idea.

What if we used the money
to help people in need.

Like, specifically, us.

No, guys,

the narwhals need us.

No, feral cats,
Brenda, come on.

So, then Ira and I
took the money and bolted,

and then I got attacked
by a bear,

and I've had an eternity
to think about what I did.

Well, it sounds like
you just made a mistake.

No, Sam, I'm a fraud.

I wanted to be a person
who helped others,

but I just helped myself.

Well, now I feel bad.

Yeah, me, too.

Sam should've never
written that article.

But you told me to.

We're dead, and just
looking for exciting things

to happen around here
to fill up the days.

Why are you
listening to us?

So...

did you get a reply
from Sasappis for me?

No, they all w--
Uh, he wanted me to wait a week.

I don't know.

Oh. Okay.

I understand.

Wait a minute.

This is crazy.
He's playing games.

And, as a woman,
I know you want the truth.

The truth is Sasappis loves you,
and he's always loved you,

and he always will love you,

and I can't think
of a better person

for you to hopefully one day
spend eternity with.

Whoa. That's a little intense.

Oh, God.

Oh, no, no, no.

It's cool, I guess.

I-I got a thing
in the, uh, copy room.

Oh, God, wait.

Did you not want me to come in?

To my office?

I'm sorry, I need
to talk to you, Lewis.

I really appreciate
the opportunity,

but I can't write
the article.

Excuse me?

I just realized it would,
it would hurt a friend.

Again, email.

Okay, email. I get that.

Knock, knock.

I don't want to see anyone
right now, Alberta.

I just have one thing
I got to tell you,

then I'll leave you be.

I never shared the stage
with Cab Calloway.

I know I always brag
about that,

but it didn't happen.

I did share a cab
with him once.

Nope! You know what?
Ah! I'm lying again.

I never even met the man.

And I was never at
the Boston Tea Party.

I was in Boston

at a tea party,

but it was at
my Aunt Geraldine's house.

It was a lovely affair.

Why are you guys
telling me this?

None of us lived up
to exactly who we wanted to be.

That doesn't
make you a fraud.

You're the biggest do-gooder
of all us ghosts.

Granted, that's
a selfish crew.

But you set the bar,

and you need
to know that.

Thanks, guys.

Flower, hey.

I wanted to tell you
I'm not gonna write the article,

and I'm sorry I went
behind your back.

You had a moment of weakness.
I know the feeling.

Hmm, I wonder what Ira did
with all that money.

Me, too. Ira wanted
to blow it all on a house,

and I was like,
"No, we should open a business."

You know, so we didn't
have to rob any more banks.

Oh, what kind of business?

A fair trade
coffee shop

that totally paid
the bean farmers

what they should get paid,
and was, like,

not bad for the earth,
but Ira said,

"Daisy, we don't know
the first thing

about starting a business."

Daisy?

Yeah, that was
Ira's nickname for me

'cause I was his special flower.

Also, 'cause it's a weed
and I love weed.

Come with me, now.

Okay.

What is this?

It's your fair trade
coffee shop, Flower,

except it's got, like,
a hundred locations.

Someone stole my idea?

Oh, she's so close
to getting it.

God love her.

Wow. Read this.

"The founder of Daisy's
Coffee Shop is Ira Klein.

"In memory of his
late girlfriend,

"profits go toward
underprivileged communities

and bear safety education."

Ira made my dream come true.

Now that is a good ending
to your article, Sam.

Maybe you should just write it.

Are you sure?

I was so worried
about people, like,

judging me for my
biggest mistake, but,

now I see something
groovy came out of it.

Also is anyone else
seeing that color?

Is there even a name for that?

And the horse
has left the stable.

Well, I have some news.

Lewis loved
the bank robbery article.

Yes!

And-and he said Daisy's Coffee
Shop is even cool with it.

Apparently, the statute
of limitations ran out,

and they think it makes them
look badass.

Ooh, they're
not wrong.

Best news for last,

he wants me to come in next week
to pitch more ideas.

That's incredible. Babe,

I'm so proud of you.

Thank you.

Alberta, I heard
you were very helpful

with Sam's article, which I
thought should be acknowledged.

Aw, thanks, Pete.
You're a good friend.

Oh, friend.
Wow, thank you.

Hello,
friendzone. I'm in.

While you are at

the magazine, you can give Shiki

her next message.

Jay nailed it.

It's, "yo yo yo."

The simplicity,
right?

You know what? No.

No more aloof messages.
I can't take the waiting.

I can't take not being honest.
I'm not a games guy.

I'm looking
for a woman

who wants a dead deer
on her doorstep,

and when I find her,
I'm gonna love her forever.

I am so glad you said that

because, the last time
I went in, I kind of lost it,

and I basically said
exactly that.

What? Well, what'd she say?
Did she like it?

Not really.

Seriously?

Fix this. Jay!

Uh, he can't hear you.

What's he saying?

I want the games back, please.

He's thanking me.

You ruined
everything.

You're welcome.

Hey, did I ever tell you guys
about the time I robbed a bank?

Okay.

Okay, I mean,
I get it.

I guess people
just play games,

but I don't love that
my husband is so good at it.

Okay.

I've been meaning
to show you this

for a while now.

Here. This is a screengrab
of a text that I sent you

exactly one minute
after your cab pulled away,

the night
of our first date.

Oh, cute.

Read it.

"Samcakes...
is it okay

"that I call you that?

"I feel like that'll be
my nickname for you.

I'll call you Samcakes
and you'll call me Jay-bae"?

I know. Keep reading.

"I know you're not supposed
to say stuff like that,

"and maybe I'm tipsy,
but I like you.

"Like, really like you.

And I think you
might be the one."

Oh, I never got that text.

Yeah, because
by some grace of God

it never went through.

Okay, yeah, I would've
run for the hills.

Obviously.

I mean, you were psycho.

That guy's gonna crawl inside of
your skin and wear you to prom.

Okay, see?

Now will you help me?

Fine, Sass.

Shiki will get a
"yo yo yo" on Tuesday.

I can't believe I'm using
my ghost powers for this,

but, I guess, if it means
you two could end up together

to do whatever it is
that ghosts do...

I was wondering about this.
So, tell me,

can ghosts actually have sex?

We can. We just can't finish.
It's very frustrating.

He says they can,
but they can't finish.

Interesting.

Gosh, I hate to do this,

but I've got some work to do.

No, no, no, no, no.
Sam, first question,

can they take off
their own clothes?

Sam, come back, I want
to tell Jay about ghost sex.