All language subtitles for Ghosts.2021.S01E02.Hello.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb-NHI

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:07,616 We are ghosts. 2 00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:09,009 While most spirits pass on 3 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,184 to the afterlife, we are 4 00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:11,402 cursed to spend eternity... 5 00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:13,056 Oh, and she's gone. 6 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,753 Now what's going to happen to the house? 7 00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,842 This must be them, the new folks that own the house. 8 00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:19,410 - Why don't we just try haunting? - Oh! 9 00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:21,412 We scare them away. We're ghosts! 10 00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:22,848 We did it! 11 00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:25,677 W-Watch out! 12 00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:26,809 Oh. 13 00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:28,419 Oh, my God! Sam? Sam! 14 00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:30,030 I hope you were at least as upset 15 00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,814 when I was technically dead for three minutes. 16 00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:33,903 - This can't be real. What are you looking at? 17 00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:36,079 I think you're right. She can see us. Uh-huh. 18 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:09,678 Ah. 19 00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:10,896 Hello! 20 00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:20,341 Well? 21 00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:22,343 Yup, she can still see us. 22 00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:23,779 Yes! 23 00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,128 Also, she's apparently a little cranky 24 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,347 before she's had her coffee. 25 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,878 Troops, never before have we possessed the ability 26 00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:37,793 to communicate with a Living. 27 00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:39,969 We are in uncharted waters. 28 00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:43,625 Those are worst type of waters, unless, of course, you find cod. 29 00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,017 This opens up intriguing 30 00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:47,150 possibilities to get them to leave. 31 00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:49,065 diplomacy. 32 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:49,979 Thankfully, you're looking 33 00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:52,155 at the man who negotiated an end 34 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:55,115 to the Siege of Fort Ticonderoga. 35 00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:57,508 You surrendered unconditionally to the British. 36 00:01:57,552 --> 00:01:58,901 But we lived to fight another day. 37 00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:00,772 You died of dysentery two weeks later. 38 00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,252 Did I? 39 00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:03,862 Thank you. Thank you. 40 00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:05,821 I'm good at talking. 41 00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:08,519 Don't talk to enemy, destroy them. 42 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:11,348 Then toast their deaths with horns full of mead! 43 00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,437 Okay, that boy has some serious anger issues. 44 00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:16,092 Why do we have to make the Livings leave? 45 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,181 It just seems like such a bummer. 46 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,140 Because, they're planning on turning my beloved 47 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:23,099 Woodstone Mansion into a hotel, that's why. We'll be overrun! 48 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,233 Exactly! We can't let these invaders take our land. 49 00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:27,625 Do you hear it? At all? 50 00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:28,887 Do you hear the words that you're saying? 51 00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:30,280 You know, we don't have 52 00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:32,456 to talk her into leaving or destroy anyone. 53 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:35,416 We could just befriend her and ask her not to open the hotel. 54 00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:38,810 So, no hotel, but the hot chick stays? I like that plan. 55 00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:41,900 Yeah, could be useful to have a Living that we can talk to. 56 00:02:41,944 --> 00:02:44,425 Ooh, I can get her to look into the details 57 00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:46,731 surrounding my mysterious death. 58 00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:49,081 Oh, please. You had a heart attack. 59 00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:50,909 - Which was likely brought on by poisoning. - Okay. 60 00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:54,522 My death, like my life, was spectacular. Had to be! 61 00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:57,438 No way I went out from something boring like a busted ticker. 62 00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:58,961 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 63 00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,571 My doc was pretty worried about my blood pressure. 64 00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:03,444 Luckily, didn't turn out to be a problem. 65 00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:05,533 Oh, what happened? 66 00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:08,405 There's an arr... we've been through this. 67 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:13,193 - Jay! Where were you? - I was in the attic. 68 00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:15,717 - Are you okay? - Jay, they're back. I woke up, 69 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,154 and one was in the bathroom... Whoa, whoa, okay, okay. 70 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,330 These are just residual effects from your accident. 71 00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:21,940 - What happened? - I ran into the door 72 00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,899 when I tried to attack him with a toilet brush. 73 00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:27,685 Um, is that like to ghosts what wooden stakes are to vampires? 74 00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:29,209 It was the only thing handy! 75 00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:30,906 Please don't make fun of me. I really saw one. 76 00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:34,388 Okay, okay. Um, have you seen one since you hit your head? 77 00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:36,303 No. 78 00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:39,088 Do you think somehow hitting my head the second time cured me? 79 00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:40,872 I mean, if you haven't seen one since you hit your head, 80 00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:42,700 you're probably out - of the woods. - Oh, my God. 81 00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:45,225 They're back! They're here. They're all behind you. 82 00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:47,227 Hello! Sorry about before. 83 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,229 I don't see anybody. 84 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,666 I would like to formally open negotiations to discuss 85 00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:54,495 - your withdrawal from Woodstone Mansion. - Hear, hear. 86 00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:56,061 There's a hippie and a Viking. 87 00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:57,324 - Be gone! - Peace! 88 00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,847 And a guy dressed like Hamilton. 89 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,197 Hamilton? How do you know about Hamilton? 90 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,851 One of them's not wearing any pants. 91 00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:06,376 - Oh, yeah? You like that? - Hi. Alberta. 92 00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,943 Can you help me find out who murdered me? 93 00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,988 Hey, babe, remember what the doctor said. 94 00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:12,469 You-you might experience some visual disturbances. 95 00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:14,558 I'm sorry. 96 00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:16,473 Y-You're talking about Alexander Hamilton? 97 00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,258 Did that little twerp become famous? 98 00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,738 - Wait. Isn't that the guy on the ten-dollar bill? - The what? 99 00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,392 They seem really real. 100 00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,046 - Well, of course we're real! - We're right here. 101 00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:25,656 - He's on paper currency? You're hearing us! 102 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,702 Okay, but what do you think is more likely? Do you think 103 00:04:27,745 --> 00:04:29,486 you're seeing ghosts, or do you think 104 00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,532 you're suffering symptoms of a severe concussion? 105 00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:33,795 Ghosts. Yeah. Obviously. 106 00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,275 Concussion. 107 00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:36,406 No! 108 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:38,452 They're all in your head. 109 00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:40,758 You just ignore them, and they'll go away. 110 00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,760 - Ignore us? - Well, that's rude. 111 00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,371 You go get some rest 112 00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,808 because your man is taking care of business. 113 00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,723 - Do you know how that works? - Mm... Oh. 114 00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:50,028 No. No, I do not. 115 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,900 - But the Internet does. - The Internet? 116 00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:54,076 It's an invention for looking up stock prices and porn. 117 00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:56,339 I'm gonna let the contractors handle the big things. 118 00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,167 But you know what? Papa Bear's gonna save some money 119 00:04:58,210 --> 00:04:59,777 where I can, because we're not all 120 00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:01,605 Mr. Moneybags here, am I right? 121 00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:03,477 From where 122 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,957 did you find this awful painting of my philandering husband? 123 00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,959 - Oh, yeah, Elias. I remember when he sat for that painting. - Mm. 124 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,918 - And then when he slept with the artist. - Yeah. 125 00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:12,747 Okay, I guess I'll just go lie down. 126 00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,357 You're gonna be better in no time. 127 00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:16,098 The bones have spoken, 128 00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:18,361 and they foresee your doom! 129 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,450 Right. Thanks. 130 00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:32,157 What are you doing in my room? 131 00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:35,509 - Oh, yeah, this is gonna make a dope man cave. - What? 132 00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:39,164 A cave of men? What does that even mean? 133 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,909 Oh, no. 134 00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:46,389 What are... what are you... what are you doing? 135 00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:48,391 Oh, hey, Hetty. This is fun. 136 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,567 This is not fun. 137 00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:53,396 This horrible man has destroyed the sanctity of our rooms. 138 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,659 Oh, it's like we're roommates. 139 00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:58,619 You got this. 140 00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,316 - Oh. - Oh! 141 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,885 - Crap. - Are you mad? 142 00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:05,800 You've made it even bigger! 143 00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,367 No, no, no, don't walk away! 144 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,804 Yay! 145 00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:11,806 Hey, who's your favorite boy ghost? 146 00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:13,503 I'd say Thor, but he really scares me, 147 00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:14,852 but I kind of like that. 148 00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:16,767 You know what? No. No, no, no, no. 149 00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:18,334 No, no, no. 150 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,423 This Jay fellow has 151 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,207 ruined our ability to communicate 152 00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:25,254 with Samantha by convincing her that we are not real! 153 00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,430 Which is a serious setback. 154 00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:30,041 In the face of which, a lesser leader 155 00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,478 might give up. 156 00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,958 Like, for instance-- oh, I don't know-- 157 00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,395 Hamilton. 158 00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,701 - Dude is obsessed. - Mm. 159 00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:41,401 He was a terrible commander. He was all about himself! 160 00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:44,273 Whereas I-- I was known for making men under me happy. 161 00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:45,622 How are we supposed to befriend Sam, 162 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,929 or "drive her from the land," 163 00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,583 yeah, yeah, if she's just ignoring us? 164 00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:52,150 Enemy's not supposed to ignore. It hurts feelings. 165 00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:53,804 We don't let her ignore us. 166 00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:55,458 We do the same thing I did in '98 167 00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:57,460 when Lizzie Grubman told me the list was closed 168 00:06:57,504 --> 00:07:00,376 for Diddy's White Party. We keep bugging her! 169 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,030 - What kind of party? - What is "Diddy"? 170 00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:03,379 It's a jaunty little song. 171 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,641 The references are not important! 172 00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:06,513 The point is, we don't give up. 173 00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:08,732 We keep bugging her. Now is when we double down! 174 00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:11,082 So simple, yet so brilliant. 175 00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:13,781 - Thank you. - We don't allow her to ignore us. 176 00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:14,782 Yes. 177 00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:16,087 Yes, we will pester her 178 00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:17,872 in the kitchen. 179 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:20,004 And we will annoy her in the living room. 180 00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:21,397 - Yeah! - My idea. 181 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,051 We will make her life a living hell 182 00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:26,533 so she has no choice but to finally acknowledge us! 183 00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:27,969 Yes! Yes! 184 00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,492 And then we drive them from this land! 185 00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,842 - Yes! - Or have a nice, friendly chat! 186 00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,191 That one. You do that one. 187 00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,758 She will rue the day! 188 00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:37,108 Chop their legs off, hang them from trees! 189 00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:39,241 - Roll it back. It's too much! - You're making it weird. 190 00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:46,596 Hi there! 191 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,642 Hello? 192 00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:49,991 All right, I know you're actively ignoring us, 193 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,427 but that's okay. 194 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,037 I was married for 16 years, so I get it. 195 00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:56,911 Ah. Oh, you looked at me. 196 00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:59,000 She looked at me! Ooh, it's working. 197 00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:03,395 Aah! Death to our enemies! 198 00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,792 Is it getting any better? 199 00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:10,098 Um... 200 00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:11,752 Now who would want me dead? 201 00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:14,102 I was a beloved jazz singer. 202 00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:16,974 Not really. I'm sorry, sweetie. 203 00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:18,976 I'm sure it'll be better tomorrow. 204 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,631 Okay, there was one person. 205 00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,720 She thought I was having an affair with her husband. 206 00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,200 I was sleeping with him, 207 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,680 but she didn't know that, so in a way, 208 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:28,943 I kind of wasn't as far as she knew. 209 00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:31,293 So then the bear raised his arms to attack me, 210 00:08:31,336 --> 00:08:32,512 but the shrooms were kicking in, 211 00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:33,861 and I thought he just wanted a hug. 212 00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,384 You know, how everyone talks about bear hugs? 213 00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:36,994 They're not talking about hugs from actual bears. 214 00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:40,389 Can you please stop talking? I'm trying to sleep. 215 00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:42,565 Oh, yeah. No, totally. Yeah, no, I'm so tired, too. 216 00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:44,262 Why do we sleep? 217 00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:47,265 - I don't know. - When I was at Woodstock, 218 00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,616 I didn't sleep at all, 'cause I didn't want to miss anything, 219 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,008 especially the Grateful Dead. 220 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:53,141 I was a huge "Deadhead," which was ironic, 221 00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:54,490 because I wasn't even dead at the time. 222 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,753 I don't care. 223 00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,543 Look, I get it. 224 00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:06,589 Who wants to think they're seeing ghosts? It's scary. 225 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:09,592 You know what's scarier? Eternity. 226 00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:12,160 So, I find ways to break it up, create some drama. 227 00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:14,162 Like yesterday, I told Alberta 228 00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:16,904 that Hetty said she didn't like her hat. 229 00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:18,688 Now, did Hetty really say that? 230 00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:22,213 Well, I will take that answer to my grave, which will never come. 231 00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,302 Which is why I have to do this kind of stuff. 232 00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,438 Oh, hi there. I'm Steve. 233 00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:32,093 Unbelievable. Jay, there's another one! 234 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,877 He's a big guy with a greasy beard. 235 00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:35,357 - Hey. Hey, babe. 236 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,663 Have you met Steve? 237 00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:39,448 - Here you go. - Wait. You can see him? 238 00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:40,884 W-What's happening? 239 00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,756 Sam, Steve! He's here to help us with the cable. 240 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:45,628 Who is this man? Another invader? 241 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,717 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, Steve. 242 00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:50,067 I haven't been sleeping well. It's great to meet you. 243 00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:52,156 Um, that should about do it. I went ahead 244 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,028 - and gave you three months of the sports package. - Cool. 245 00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:56,073 He too shall feel our wrath. 246 00:09:56,117 --> 00:09:57,074 Shut up, 247 00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:58,772 uh... 248 00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:01,557 ♪ About that sports package, Steve. ♪ 249 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,080 What a deal! 250 00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:05,387 Yeah. R-Right? 251 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,476 I'm-I'm... I'm gonna test her out. 252 00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,089 The Vikings were known 253 00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:13,221 for their prowess on the battlefield, 254 00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,092 often overpowering... 255 00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:18,705 What is this... magical window? 256 00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,010 Hello! 257 00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:22,186 Oh, okay. Well, I'm down for a stroll. 258 00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:24,624 Where we headed? On behalf of my fellow ghosts, 259 00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,277 I'd just like to welcome you to... You're not real. 260 00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:28,018 I mean, I'm not technically alive, but I am real. 261 00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:29,150 No, you're not. 262 00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:30,673 - You're answering me. - No, I'm not. 263 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,066 Okay, I thought of a couple other people 264 00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:33,589 who may have wanted me dead. 265 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,982 Any chance you could hop the train down to Memphis 266 00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:36,679 - and knock on some doors? - Hey, am I crazy, 267 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,812 - or is there chemistry here? - This isn't happening! 268 00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:41,553 I know. I didn't expect this, either. 269 00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:44,426 Okay, so this machine truly has access 270 00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:46,036 to the entire breadth of human knowledge? 271 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,864 Yeah, pretty much. 272 00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:50,345 Okay, I need you to look up "Alexander Hamilton" on this. 273 00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,784 Do you know how long it would take me 274 00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:56,394 to type all those letters? 275 00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:58,353 I must know what he went on to do. 276 00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:01,356 He haunts me, and I'm a damn ghost. 277 00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:04,446 Okay, buddy, stand back. 278 00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:06,622 Let me work my magic. 279 00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,933 My God, the pageantry. 280 00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:14,761 - Do you want this, or not? - Yes. No, I do. 281 00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,850 Shh!I... I like it. 282 00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:20,201 Ah... Come on! Come on! 283 00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:21,724 You've got it! You've got it! 284 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,683 Ah... And... 285 00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,777 Ah! 286 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,477 Mm-mm. Mm-mm. 287 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,740 - Oh, amazing. Okay, next letter. Next letter! - Oh... 288 00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:40,787 Mmm. Thor can smell the salty brine. 289 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,571 - There's my toolbox. The preparation for the cod hunt 290 00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:43,877 was a ritual of great importance 291 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,313 -in Viking society. - Look at you. 292 00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:48,838 Come on! Electricity! 293 00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:51,667 Oh, by the loins of Freya, why? 294 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,451 Small man?! 295 00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:59,893 Well, if it isn't "Mr. Fix It." 296 00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:02,286 - Why has he got a hammer? - Who knows? 297 00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:04,332 - Okay. - Oh, no, no. 298 00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:06,464 Oh, no. Oh, you fool! 299 00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:07,639 - What are you doing? - Is he crazy, man? 300 00:12:07,683 --> 00:12:09,337 Stop it! Just stop it! 301 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,731 God, I know we're dead, but he's trying to kill us. 302 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:15,082 "Psychotic breaks." 303 00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:17,345 - Okay, that's me. A moment of your time. 304 00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,390 - That's also me. - You must repair my wall. 305 00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:21,001 I cannot spend another night listening 306 00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:22,785 to that bohemian blather away. I won't do it! 307 00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,439 Bring back my people to the thing-- 308 00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:26,006 the sorcerer's window! 309 00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:27,747 You are a strong, sane woman. 310 00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,574 You are a strong, sane woman! 311 00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,272 Hey, big head. 312 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,362 I don't want you anyway. 313 00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:37,365 See? Say something negative, get 'em off balance. 314 00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:40,020 Oh, I don't know why I didn't start with this."Depression, 315 00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:41,673 difficulty concentrating..." 316 00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:43,240 Babe, can you please bring me my screwdriver? 317 00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:44,720 Sure thing. 318 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,070 - She moves! - Do not walk away from me! 319 00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:50,508 She can't move too fast with those slightly-too-large ankles! 320 00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:52,336 This is genius. 321 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,382 - You cannot escape us! - Oh! 322 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:56,558 No way I'm going down there. 323 00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,995 No, no, they... they are terrifying. 324 00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:01,911 Jay, I think there's something very wrong... Oh, my God! 325 00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:03,608 - What? - What do you mean, "what?" 326 00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:04,740 There's a bunch of zombies down here. 327 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,090 Zombies? Zombies aren't real. 328 00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:08,962 We are ghosts. We all died of cholera. 329 00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:10,877 It wasn't great. 330 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,271 Babe, I think you really just need some more rest. 331 00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:18,014 We are way past rest. We need to go to a hospital now. 332 00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,799 Okay. Well, I'll drive you. 333 00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:20,843 Red valve. Tell him... 334 00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:24,629 Please turn the red valve! 335 00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:25,935 Can you turn the red valve? 336 00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:27,894 - What? - Can you just turn the red valve? 337 00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:30,897 It-it's kind of urgent, if you like the house. 338 00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,378 There you go! Yes. 339 00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:36,424 How did you know about the red...? 340 00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,643 Can we get the hell out of here, please? 341 00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:41,864 - Okay. - No. Wait. Don't do that. 342 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,823 Oh, come on... Oh. Nuts. 343 00:13:48,784 --> 00:13:50,655 I'm just saying, it's been three days, and I'm not feeling 344 00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:52,875 any better, so I'm starting to freak out. 345 00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,051 Well, I have to be honest. 346 00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:56,879 I don't think this will get better. 347 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,969 - What? - It seems as if your accident left you so close 348 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:02,232 to death, that you somehow obtained the ability 349 00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:04,278 to actually see dead people. 350 00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:05,714 That can't be possible... 351 00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,847 It is quite rare, but I've seen it before. 352 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,501 The last time was around 85 years ago. 353 00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:12,199 Wait. How-how old are you? 354 00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:14,984 Well, I was about 50 when I died. 355 00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:17,117 Now, sorry about that. 356 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,467 I'll let you visit with your living doctor. 357 00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,251 What seems to be troubling you? 358 00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,340 She's excellent, by the way. 359 00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,956 This is amazing. 360 00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,566 The plan's working! 361 00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,785 Working? Thor, she ran off screaming. 362 00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:35,048 We've driven her insane. 363 00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:37,180 Oh, what does it matter? Nothing matters. 364 00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:39,139 - What's up with soldier boy? - Isaac had me look up 365 00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:41,576 "Alexander Hamilton" on Jay's computer. 366 00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,056 His list of accomplishments was even grander 367 00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:44,622 than I could have imagined. 368 00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:46,755 And then we looked up Isaac. 369 00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:51,455 "...graduated Dartmouth, died of dysentery." 370 00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:54,763 That's it? That's all it says?! 371 00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:58,680 I was mentioned in but one academic journal, in a footnote. 372 00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:01,161 I'm literally a footnote in history! 373 00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,466 Well, Dartmouth is very good. 374 00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,554 Safety school. 375 00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:05,556 My life meant nothing. 376 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,950 Whereas my rival is known to this day. 377 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,126 There was even a musical about him! 378 00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,172 You're really fixated on that musical thing. 379 00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,000 Well, this might come as a shock to you, 380 00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,872 since you see me as this tough military type... Mm. 381 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,788 ...but musical theater is actually a passion of mine. 382 00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,181 Hmm. 383 00:15:22,747 --> 00:15:24,445 I'm just saying, maybe we should have just stuck around 384 00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:26,186 for a little while, heard her out. 385 00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:27,622 Maybe done the MRI? 386 00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:28,840 There's no point. 387 00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:30,277 They're not gonna find anything, 388 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,148 because I now know there's nothing wrong with me! 389 00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,933 Okay, but the doctor said... 390 00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:35,456 That was the living doctor! 391 00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:36,979 Of course she thinks I'm delusional. 392 00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,720 She's not trained for this. But the ghost doctor... 393 00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:40,678 Okay, that's where you start to lose me. 394 00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:42,028 If the ghosts were all in my head, 395 00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:43,507 I'd be seeing the same ones at the hospital 396 00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:45,074 as I do back at the house, but they're not. 397 00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,815 I see different ones in different places. 398 00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:48,599 Like that guy. Hey, bud. 399 00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:52,647 What guy? 400 00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:56,042 I know it's not great news, but at least I'm not crazy. 401 00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:00,089 No, no, Jay, look out! 402 00:16:01,786 --> 00:16:04,441 Phew. They were already dead. 403 00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:06,182 - Sorry. - What?! 404 00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:08,924 - Just drive. - I can't. I can't. I-I... 405 00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:18,194 Listen, I know this is a lot, but I'm with you. 406 00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:21,067 No matter what, in sickness and in health. 407 00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:23,983 Okay? Because I love you. 408 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:25,985 Aw. He's a keeper. 409 00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:28,770 - Hold that thought. - What was that? 410 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:31,947 - Sam? - Sam? 411 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,993 Hold on. Hold up, Sam! 412 00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:37,083 Sam, was there one in the car? 413 00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:39,172 Sam, was there one in the car? 414 00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:41,870 She's coming. Here she comes! 415 00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:43,089 Ooh! 416 00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,568 Okay, fine. I see all of you, 417 00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:46,440 I admit your existence. Happy? 418 00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:48,964 - Well, I mean, what is happy? - It's a good step, babe. 419 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,880 Great. But this is our house now. 420 00:16:51,923 --> 00:16:54,317 We inherited it, so, it is time for you all to leave. 421 00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:56,102 It has been nice to meet you, thank you, 422 00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:57,886 but you can go haunt someone else now. 423 00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:04,153 She's funny, too. That's great. 424 00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:05,198 Girl, 425 00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:06,764 we can't leave. 426 00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:08,070 Yeah, you just sort of stay where you die. 427 00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,463 And how you die. 428 00:17:09,506 --> 00:17:11,117 It's your classic haunted house. 429 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,119 So, it seems it's the two of you 430 00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,077 who should leave, thank you kindly. 431 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,687 Well, that's not happening. 432 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,080 We've already sunk all our money into this place. 433 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,951 Plus, I see dead people wherever I go, 434 00:17:19,995 --> 00:17:21,736 so leaving doesn't even help me. 435 00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:23,085 Okay, I'm back to freaked out again. 436 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,521 Babe, just a second. 437 00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:26,045 It seems like we're stuck with each other. 438 00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:27,829 But it is not going to go on like this, 439 00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,483 with all of you up in my face all of the time. 440 00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,963 So, what is it going to take for you to leave me alone? 441 00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:34,966 Huh? What do you want? 442 00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:37,273 You! Viking guy, what do you want? 443 00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:41,712 I want to see my people in the magic box once a day! 444 00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:44,759 - What? - He wants to watch a show about Vikings on TV. 445 00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,500 - Fine. - Yes! 446 00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:48,763 You, Wolf of Wall Street, what do you want? 447 00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:51,461 Leave him, kill yourself, become a ghost and get with me. 448 00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:53,333 But let's keep it casual. 449 00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,030 - Gross. You. - What'd he say? 450 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,945 I heard you mention you were a writer. 451 00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,990 I'd like you to pen my biography, so that 452 00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:00,427 history may know my name. 453 00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,124 Now that is actually quite interesting. 454 00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:04,431 And then take that book, and adapt it 455 00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:05,997 into an award-winning Broadway musical. 456 00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,956 I want you to invite the descendants 457 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:10,176 of the ten most likely suspects of my murder to a dinner party. 458 00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:13,222 Find out who did it, and exact revenge. 459 00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:14,876 No. 460 00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:17,008 - Uh, you, Woodstock-- what do you want? - Woodstock? 461 00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:18,923 Uh, I'm easy. Just world peace. 462 00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,577 And an end to bear attacks? 463 00:18:20,621 --> 00:18:22,884 Sure. You? Downton Abbey? 464 00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:24,929 Take down that painting of my awful husband, 465 00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:27,715 and patch up the hole your awful husband put in my wall. 466 00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:29,151 He's not awful when you get to know him. 467 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:30,935 - Wait a minute. - You, next. 468 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:34,113 I'd like the entire Hudson Valley returned to the Lenape. 469 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,810 Barring that, maybe keep the radio on in the afternoons? 470 00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:37,116 - Mm, excellent idea. - That's a good one. 471 00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,900 Yes! We could use some beats in here. 472 00:18:38,943 --> 00:18:40,467 - Oh, I'd love to dance. Play my album, Bonsoir. 473 00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:42,556 - That would be fun. - Okay, so that is everybody. 474 00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:46,168 Oh, what about you? 475 00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:48,605 I just wanted to say hi and welcome. 476 00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:50,912 - Hi. - Welcome! 477 00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:53,567 Wow. So, everybody feeling good? 478 00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,786 I'm pretty far from good. 479 00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:57,788 Ah, my husband still thinks I'm nuts. 480 00:18:57,832 --> 00:19:00,791 You know what? Follow me. 481 00:19:06,319 --> 00:19:07,885 Okay, now 482 00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:10,192 ignite the flame, and release the gas knob slowly. 483 00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:11,715 Okay. 484 00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:13,587 Now hit it twice on the side, right there. 485 00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,458 - Hit it? - Seriously. 486 00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:24,641 Okay, now turn the gas knob on, and you'll hear a "whoomph." 487 00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,296 Nothing. 488 00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:29,037 Actually, a little past "on." The calibration's off. 489 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,300 It's been wonky for the last 40 years or so. 490 00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:34,129 Whoa. Whoa. 491 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:37,306 See? How else would I know any of this? 492 00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:43,225 Okay. Well, I guess I believe you. 493 00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:47,621 And... thank you. 494 00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:49,797 They say, "You're welcome." 495 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,407 "They"? There's two of them? 496 00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:53,931 Yup. 497 00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:56,717 Are we done here? 498 00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:00,590 Oh. 499 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,113 - All taken care of? - Yup. 500 00:20:02,157 --> 00:20:04,377 Yup, covered the hole right up. 501 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,901 This is not the solution. This is worse! 502 00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:10,078 I demand you remedy this posthaste! 503 00:20:10,121 --> 00:20:13,342 If you're here, you're welcome. 504 00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:14,735 - Are you starting a new article? - Toying around 505 00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:16,998 - with a book idea, actually. - Ooh. 506 00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:19,043 Mm-mm-mm. More writey-writey, less talky-talky. 507 00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:20,480 Now, where was I? 508 00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:22,351 - You were telling me about your wife. - Huh? 509 00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:24,266 Oh, no. No, not you. It's a... it's a ghost thing. 510 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,312 All right. Well, uh, have fun. 511 00:20:26,355 --> 00:20:28,139 Ah, yes, Beatrice. 512 00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:30,664 She was a handsome woman. 513 00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:32,579 We slept in separate bedrooms, 514 00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:35,190 to keep the flame of our passion burning bright. 515 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,410 Now, let's talk military service. 516 00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:40,021 I was a beloved commander, though I was known for 517 00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:41,065 riding my men hard. 518 00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:48,159 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org38663

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