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1
00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:19,514
Hey, Calvin.
2
00:00:19,539 --> 00:00:20,729
Hola, mi amor.
3
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:23,357
Guess what I'm making.
4
00:00:23,449 --> 00:00:25,468
Paella.
5
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:30,098
Yes, the authentic recipe
we learned in "Barthelona."
6
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:34,365
Well, you know, you could say
Barcelona like an American.
7
00:00:34,390 --> 00:00:36,532
No, I like saying "Barthelona"
8
00:00:36,557 --> 00:00:38,147
like a "Barthelonian."
9
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:42,411
You know, Calvin, you don't
have to make paella every day.
10
00:00:42,436 --> 00:00:45,773
I still haven't finished
my lunch paella.
11
00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:50,541
Hey, you must have had a busy day.
12
00:00:50,566 --> 00:00:52,668
Yeah, let's go with that.
13
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,225
And speaking of getting busy,
14
00:00:57,325 --> 00:01:00,961
you know, we haven't done
that since this morning.
15
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,310
Calvin, where's my favorite mug?
16
00:01:04,335 --> 00:01:06,438
Oh, I, uh, I threw it out.
17
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:10,173
Yeah, I was watching
Jennifer Hudson this afternoon,
18
00:01:10,198 --> 00:01:11,834
and the feng shui expert said that
19
00:01:11,859 --> 00:01:14,883
you should replace any
chipped or broken item.
20
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,977
But my mug wasn't chipped.
21
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:20,514
Well, I broke it when I was
trying to feng shui the kitchen.
22
00:01:22,195 --> 00:01:23,764
Oh, by the way,
23
00:01:23,789 --> 00:01:26,456
Magnum, P.I. thinks we should
get a reverse mortgage.
24
00:01:26,481 --> 00:01:27,948
What you think?
25
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:33,131
Okay, Calvin, I know that you've had
26
00:01:33,156 --> 00:01:36,654
a lot of time on your hands
since selling the shop, but...
27
00:01:36,679 --> 00:01:40,168
you got to stop watching daytime TV.
28
00:01:40,169 --> 00:01:43,131
How about you just get out the house?
29
00:01:43,156 --> 00:01:44,447
Do something.
30
00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:48,451
Babe, I'm doing things.
I got plenty of stuff to do.
31
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,511
My schedule is jam-packed.
32
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:54,014
Alexa, what's on my calendar tomorrow?
33
00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:56,717
At 03:00 p.m., you have a haircut.
34
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,345
Hmm? Didn't you get a haircut yesterday?
35
00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:02,541
Yes, Tina. I'm a very hairy man.
36
00:02:04,392 --> 00:02:07,328
Well, how about you
go out and play some golf?
37
00:02:07,949 --> 00:02:10,335
Well, all my friends work.
38
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,537
Are you trying to get rid of me?
39
00:02:13,562 --> 00:02:15,844
No, no, no, baby. I just...
40
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,505
I don't think it's very healthy
41
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:22,210
for a man to stay at home all day,
or his wife might kill him.
42
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:26,359
Oh! I just watched
a Lifetime movie about that.
43
00:02:26,384 --> 00:02:27,986
You know, the lady
got away with it, too.
44
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:34,104
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
45
00:02:34,734 --> 00:02:35,987
Okay.
46
00:02:36,011 --> 00:02:38,588
Oh, Tina, we can't take all your paella.
47
00:02:38,613 --> 00:02:41,749
Please take it.
It'll really help my marriage.
48
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:44,365
Ooh, look, Dave wants some.
He's drooling.
49
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:46,567
Nah, it's from the dentist.
50
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,236
I'm still numb.
51
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:52,273
Here, sweetie, clean yourself up.
52
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:57,878
So, has it been hard for Calvin
having all this free time?
53
00:02:57,978 --> 00:03:00,648
Hard for me. He's driving me crazy.
54
00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:02,015
He's always here.
55
00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:06,053
He watches my shows before I do
and then spoils the endings.
56
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:07,855
You know, I finally
just sent him to Ernie's bar
57
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,401
to give away some of this paella.
58
00:03:09,426 --> 00:03:11,663
And there's this much left?
59
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,094
You feel my pain.
60
00:03:14,119 --> 00:03:15,843
Ooh.
61
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,599
Mama! Oh. Hey, guys.
62
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:21,290
- Hey.
- Did a box come for me today?
63
00:03:21,315 --> 00:03:22,482
Oh, yeah, it's right over there.
64
00:03:22,507 --> 00:03:24,747
Um, why did you have it sent here?
65
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:26,657
I didn't want Malcolm to see it.
66
00:03:26,682 --> 00:03:29,552
It's a longsword
for my Arthurian groom-posal.
67
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,379
It's a what for the what what?
68
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:36,196
I'm gonna ask Malcolm to be my best man.
69
00:03:36,221 --> 00:03:38,023
And then slay him?
70
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,422
Marty's doing a grooms-posal.
71
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,857
They're like prom-posals,
but for your groomsmen.
72
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,826
Yeah, back when I did mine,
73
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,828
society thought
they were only for bridesmaids.
74
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:51,299
Then I rode into my friend Bobby's yard
75
00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:53,867
on that horse, shirtless.
76
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:59,340
I broke barriers
for groomsmen everywhere.
77
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:01,442
I'm...
78
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:03,877
I'm-I'm gonna go "shirt on."
79
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:07,481
But I do want Malcolm to be blown away.
80
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,684
So, uh, Marty, got all your
groomsmen picked out already?
81
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:14,855
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, i... It's only four of us.
82
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,402
It's Malcolm, my two
best friends from college,
83
00:04:17,427 --> 00:04:19,662
and my play cousin Daniel.
84
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,562
S-So he's not even
85
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:22,830
- a real cousin, huh?
- David...
86
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,965
Dave, let it go.
You're not in the wedding.
87
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:27,000
Stop being so thirsty.
88
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:36,577
Oh, shoot. Ernie's killing it
at cornhole. He's undefeated.
89
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,346
Hey, Calvin,
90
00:04:38,347 --> 00:04:41,014
do you want me to embarrass
you next or should I
91
00:04:41,039 --> 00:04:43,076
crush Trey as a warm-up?
92
00:04:43,101 --> 00:04:45,328
Also, no outside food.
93
00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:46,354
Oh.
94
00:04:46,355 --> 00:04:48,722
It's paella. I brought you some.
95
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,891
Oh, don't mind if I do.
96
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:53,594
Winning burns a lot of calories.
97
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:57,565
Ernie, I haven't seen
you lose in a week.
98
00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:58,732
You juicing?
99
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:01,101
Nah. No, man. No, no, no.
100
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:02,536
I'm just the best holder
101
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,373
anyone's seen this side of the 405.
102
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,007
Probably the other side, too.
103
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,076
There's just
too much traffic to be sure.
104
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:14,615
You bragging about
throwing beanbags in a hole?
105
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,122
Sound like somebody's scared.
106
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:25,426
Ooh, I'm terrified.
107
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,628
What's the next challenge... Hopscotch?
108
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,963
Or maybe Candy Land?
109
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,500
Calvin, just whup his ass
and shut him up.
110
00:05:32,525 --> 00:05:33,551
Man. Hey.
111
00:05:33,576 --> 00:05:35,277
I-It's ridiculous, man.
112
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:38,639
This requires no skills.
I mean, anybody could do it.
113
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,307
Watch.
114
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,145
Ha-ha!
115
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:47,014
Reminds me of the time
we played mini-golf
116
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:48,682
and you hit that old lady.
117
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:52,753
It was a bank shot off her walker.
I still made par.
118
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,254
Ah.
119
00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:57,991
Okay.
120
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:00,861
Oh. Oh, yeah.
121
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,830
Close, close, but no cigar.
122
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:06,434
All right, this ain't over.
All right, here we go.
123
00:06:10,572 --> 00:06:11,872
Yeah!
124
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,206
Oh!
125
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,643
Boom, baby! In your face!
126
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,846
Okay, Calvin. All right.
127
00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:21,048
If you feeling so cocky,
128
00:06:21,073 --> 00:06:22,866
then why don't you
play in the tournament?
129
00:06:22,891 --> 00:06:24,259
Mm, nah, I'm good.
130
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:27,020
Uh-huh. Uh, I-I forgot... You retired.
131
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:31,024
You too busy sitting on the front porch
in a rocking chair.
132
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,260
Ooh!
133
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,797
You know what? I'm in.
134
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,900
And for your information, it's a glider!
135
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,604
All right. Well, good luck, Calvin.
136
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:47,307
Good luck. Oh, did you see
the gallery of champions?
137
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:49,643
They all look a lot like me, don't they?
138
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:54,815
You know, I forget about
the year you had the toupee.
139
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,818
It's called a hair unit.
140
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:04,858
Hold on.
141
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,329
Oh, my God!
142
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:16,369
Marty, what is going on?
143
00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:19,640
Malcolm Langston Butler,
first of his name,
144
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:22,991
you are hereby commanded to pull
145
00:07:23,016 --> 00:07:24,820
the sword from yon stone.
146
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:28,916
Only the true best man
can such a feat achieve.
147
00:07:31,672 --> 00:07:32,840
What?
148
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:36,624
If thou wouldst be the best man,
149
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:40,293
thou must pull the very
expensive custom-engraved sword
150
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,696
from yonder stone.
151
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:46,534
Okay, Marty, obviously
I am going to be your best man.
152
00:07:46,535 --> 00:07:49,236
Uh, did you say "wouldst"?
What does that even mean?
153
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,271
I don't know, man.
Can you just play along?
154
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,773
No, I said I'm in, Marty, okay?
155
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,575
I-I'm doing all the best man stuff.
156
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,544
I went to the cake tasting,
we went soup shopping.
157
00:07:56,545 --> 00:07:58,546
Okay, if-if you're not into this,
158
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,247
maybe I'll ask somebody else.
159
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,449
Marty, I'm your only brother.
160
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,818
Who else would you ask
to be your best man?
161
00:08:04,843 --> 00:08:06,320
Derek.
162
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:09,890
Derek? Derek has no personality.
163
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,458
He's a board game friend.
164
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,393
You have to be distracted
just to hang out with him.
165
00:08:13,418 --> 00:08:15,846
Well, Derek would have pulled the sword
from the stone by now, man.
166
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:17,740
Well, 'cause Derek is a dork!
167
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:20,568
Great. You tell him that to his face
168
00:08:20,569 --> 00:08:22,086
when he takes your role as the best man.
169
00:08:22,111 --> 00:08:23,128
Wha...
170
00:08:23,153 --> 00:08:24,488
From the shadows you come
171
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:28,375
and to the shadows I bid you return.
172
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,015
Almost had it.
173
00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:39,252
Don't flatter yourself.
You weren't even close.
174
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,888
You're pulling your left shoulder.
175
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,422
Thanks a lot, Gemma.
176
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:44,157
But a lot of those bags went in the hole
177
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:48,028
before you broke my concentration
by sneaking up on me.
178
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:52,399
Okay, you want to keep missing,
keep doing it your way.
179
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:56,269
Or you could square up a bit
and add a little arc to your toss,
180
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,671
like this.
181
00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:02,910
Damn, woman, you can hole.
182
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,477
Where'd you learn to play like that?
183
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,537
There wasn't a lot to do
in Hickory Corners.
184
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:09,617
All we had was corn.
Either you ate it or you threw it.
185
00:09:09,618 --> 00:09:10,984
Or the crows got it.
186
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,721
On a bad day, all three could happen.
187
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:17,090
So, you used to play with corn?
188
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,525
Did you not have Barbie dolls?
189
00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:19,927
Crows got 'em.
190
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,031
That's why I became so good at cornhole.
191
00:09:24,056 --> 00:09:26,349
Uh, w-wait, wait.
I want to learn how to play.
192
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:28,702
Cornhole isn't something you learn.
193
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,671
It's something you become.
194
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:34,842
When I holed,
I gave myself fully to the game.
195
00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:36,518
I'd expect you to do the same.
196
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:38,178
- I'm ready.
- No.
197
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,438
No, you're not.
198
00:09:41,384 --> 00:09:42,852
But you will be.
199
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,719
Forget everything you think
you know about cornhole.
200
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,488
I literally know nothing.
201
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:52,660
Raw clay. I like it.
202
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,564
Derek?
203
00:09:57,665 --> 00:10:00,467
- Derek is gonna be your best man?
- Yes, Mom.
204
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:04,204
Help me remember...
Did I carry Derek in my womb?
205
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,874
I think you know you did not.
206
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:09,643
Then Derek should not be your best man.
207
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,244
Calvin, back me up.
208
00:10:11,971 --> 00:10:13,906
Listen to your mama, boy.
209
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,383
Ooh! Four in a row!
210
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,086
Calvin!
211
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:22,656
What? I'm folding the laundry.
Thanks for noticing.
212
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:26,326
Stop playing games and help me
talk some sense into this boy.
213
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:30,030
Uh, Marty, if you want your
brother to be your best man,
214
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,465
you should ask him like a normal person.
215
00:10:32,490 --> 00:10:33,809
I'm sure he'll say yes.
216
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,368
Well, he did say yes.
217
00:10:35,393 --> 00:10:38,897
That's not the point, Daddy.
He disrespected my process.
218
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:43,210
Listen, baby,
when you look back on your wedding
219
00:10:43,235 --> 00:10:45,137
years from now...
220
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:50,550
...you're gonna want to have
those memories with your brother.
221
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:53,420
Calvin, what the hell are you doing?!
222
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,789
I'm emptying the dishwasher.
223
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:58,325
Apparently, I have to do
everything around here.
224
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,064
That was going in.
225
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:09,169
I mean, it is nonstop, Trey.
226
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,571
One ridiculous wedding event
after another,
227
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,974
a-and the groom-posal was insane.
228
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,109
There was a rock, there was a sword,
229
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,878
and then there was a suit of armor.
230
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:22,983
So, he did all that just
to ask you to be his best man?
231
00:11:23,008 --> 00:11:24,810
Yes. I mean, it's ridiculous, right?
232
00:11:24,835 --> 00:11:25,836
Tell me I'm wrong.
233
00:11:25,861 --> 00:11:27,530
- You're wrong.
- Thank you.
234
00:11:27,555 --> 00:11:29,457
Wait, what?
235
00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:31,424
I'm just saying, Marty went through
236
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,927
all that trouble to make you
feel loved and appreciated,
237
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,129
and you went and acted like a jackass.
238
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,398
I did not.
239
00:11:40,949 --> 00:11:43,785
Word on the street is you
were a total jackass to Marty.
240
00:11:45,950 --> 00:11:47,652
I said yes to Marty, okay?
241
00:11:47,677 --> 00:11:49,567
Look, maybe I wasn't as
nice as I could have been...
242
00:11:49,592 --> 00:11:51,962
Okay, I-I don't care. Uh...
243
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:55,515
Are you now bumped down
to regular groomsman
244
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:59,086
or... or are you out out,
and now there's an opening?
245
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:02,389
Well, I can't be completely
out of the wedding, Dave.
246
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:05,392
Uh, I mean, look, I got to do something.
247
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:08,996
Marty's a big baby,
but he is my baby brother.
248
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,498
You're right. You're a good brother.
249
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,133
Damn it.
250
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,169
So, what do I do?
251
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:24,044
Malcolm, go to him.
252
00:12:26,219 --> 00:12:28,589
Yeah, but you got to do it right.
253
00:12:28,614 --> 00:12:32,183
After what you did,
you need to go all the way. Yeah.
254
00:12:32,413 --> 00:12:34,850
Meaning I got to
completely humiliate myself?
255
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,157
No, no, not at all.
256
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,960
Now, let's talk tunics and tights.
257
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,662
Oh...
258
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:56,576
You do know there's nothing
in your hand, right?
259
00:12:57,237 --> 00:12:58,839
Of course, babe.
260
00:12:58,955 --> 00:13:01,624
The tournament is tonight.
I can't risk injury.
261
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,551
Hey, Tina, would you do me the honor
262
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:07,921
of shagging my bags this evening?
263
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,389
Do what now?
264
00:13:11,206 --> 00:13:13,509
I forgot, you don't speak hole.
265
00:13:15,627 --> 00:13:17,840
It means retrieving my bags.
266
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:20,367
I just need to concentrate
on my throwing.
267
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:23,871
Alexa, is it windy in Pasadena tonight?
268
00:13:23,872 --> 00:13:26,173
Hello, Cornhole King.
269
00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:28,441
This evening in Pasadena, California,
270
00:13:28,466 --> 00:13:31,303
it's breezy at 14.2 miles per hour.
271
00:13:31,328 --> 00:13:32,529
Hmm.
272
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:36,216
I'm gonna have to adjust
my arc for the wind.
273
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:42,211
Did you actually program Alexa
to call you Cornhole King?
274
00:13:42,236 --> 00:13:46,274
Yes. And trust me,
it's starting to catch on.
275
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:53,033
Uh, you know, Calvin, I know I
encouraged you to get out of the house
276
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,467
and find something to do,
277
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,236
but don't you think
that maybe you're taking
278
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,238
this Cornhole thing
a little too seriously?
279
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,273
Don't be ridiculous.
280
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:05,979
Calvin, bombaye!
281
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,982
Calvin, bomba...
282
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,584
Did you people not see Ali?
283
00:14:12,854 --> 00:14:14,891
Calvin, bombaye!
284
00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:18,920
Calvin, bombaye! Calvin, bombaye!
285
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,199
Go, babe!
286
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:30,478
It's all right, my man.
287
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:34,074
You can tell your grandkids
you got beat by Calvin Butler.
288
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,608
Go on, now.
289
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,413
Calvin, let's talk management.
290
00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:43,105
What are you celebrating?
291
00:14:43,130 --> 00:14:44,632
You haven't won anything yet.
292
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,620
I just took the semis.
293
00:14:48,114 --> 00:14:49,415
Finish the job!
294
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,659
Sorry, Calvin.
295
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:54,694
You've had your fun,
but your little lucky streak
296
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:57,430
ends here. This is my house.
297
00:14:57,455 --> 00:14:59,724
Yeah, that's because
you lost your real house
298
00:14:59,749 --> 00:15:01,117
in your last divorce.
299
00:15:03,996 --> 00:15:05,364
True.
300
00:15:05,389 --> 00:15:09,694
But not you or my other exes or the IRS
301
00:15:09,719 --> 00:15:11,386
can take cornhole from me.
302
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:14,414
Don't you worry, Calvin Butler.
303
00:15:14,439 --> 00:15:15,908
I'll keep the trophy here.
304
00:15:15,933 --> 00:15:17,935
You can come see it whenever you want.
305
00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:20,562
Oh. Uh, I'm gonna see it every night
306
00:15:20,595 --> 00:15:22,219
'cause it'll be in my bedroom.
307
00:15:22,244 --> 00:15:23,711
The hell it will.
308
00:15:23,736 --> 00:15:27,039
Hey, uh, shag girl,
you're messing up my trash talk.
309
00:15:37,838 --> 00:15:40,211
Hedwig?!
310
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:50,583
"Your presence is requested
in Mother and Father's yard
311
00:15:50,608 --> 00:15:52,648
"at the stroke of 9:00.
312
00:15:52,673 --> 00:15:57,094
Yours, magically, Alan Dumbledore."
313
00:15:58,946 --> 00:16:01,359
It's Albus, but okay.
314
00:16:06,058 --> 00:16:08,760
Who dares approacheth my lair?
315
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,516
You invited me, Dumbledore.
316
00:16:11,541 --> 00:16:15,875
Yes, right.
Approacheth, Grayskull Legolas.
317
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:20,680
You are mixing so many different things,
but I love it!
318
00:16:22,501 --> 00:16:24,351
When I cast this spell,
319
00:16:24,376 --> 00:16:29,006
you will no longer remember that
I was dickish unto thee.
320
00:16:30,319 --> 00:16:32,889
And you will once again welcome me back
321
00:16:32,914 --> 00:16:36,584
as your best friend,
your best brother and...
322
00:16:37,790 --> 00:16:39,426
...your best man.
323
00:16:41,390 --> 00:16:43,625
Kombucha!
324
00:16:45,602 --> 00:16:48,872
Yes. A thousand times yes.
325
00:16:51,696 --> 00:16:53,498
This is unbelievably tense.
326
00:16:53,523 --> 00:16:54,924
It is?
327
00:16:56,111 --> 00:16:59,681
They're tied. They've gone
bag-for-bag this whole round.
328
00:16:59,706 --> 00:17:00,807
The next hole wins.
329
00:17:00,832 --> 00:17:02,667
Ooh, and then we're done?
330
00:17:04,043 --> 00:17:05,812
Oh. Hey, hey.
331
00:17:05,907 --> 00:17:07,442
You hear that, Calvin?
332
00:17:07,549 --> 00:17:10,118
That hole is calling my name.
333
00:17:12,921 --> 00:17:14,489
Ooh!
334
00:17:14,514 --> 00:17:17,576
Yeah. Oh, I hear it now.
335
00:17:17,826 --> 00:17:21,496
And it's saying,
"You're in second place, sucker."
336
00:17:22,331 --> 00:17:24,399
Time out. Time out, time out.
337
00:17:24,499 --> 00:17:26,701
Calvin, his bag
is teetering over the edge.
338
00:17:26,801 --> 00:17:28,236
It's air mail time.
339
00:17:28,337 --> 00:17:29,371
- Air mail?
- Yes.
340
00:17:29,471 --> 00:17:30,639
We practiced this.
341
00:17:30,739 --> 00:17:32,374
No, we didn't.
342
00:17:32,474 --> 00:17:34,576
We didn't? Crap.
343
00:17:34,676 --> 00:17:36,077
Okay.
344
00:17:36,177 --> 00:17:39,047
You've got to arc high. Crazy high.
345
00:17:39,147 --> 00:17:41,082
Higher than you've ever
arced in your life.
346
00:17:41,182 --> 00:17:43,184
Your bag's got to come straight down
347
00:17:43,352 --> 00:17:45,787
through that hole without
taking Ernie's bag in with it.
348
00:17:45,887 --> 00:17:47,856
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Delay of game.
349
00:17:47,956 --> 00:17:50,359
Okay, hey, I'm tossing.
350
00:17:50,459 --> 00:17:52,361
I'm tossing, man.
351
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,028
Okay.
352
00:18:21,022 --> 00:18:24,025
Yes! We did it! We're awesome!
353
00:18:24,125 --> 00:18:26,561
Suck it, loser!
354
00:18:28,897 --> 00:18:31,400
Hey, uh, good game, Calvin.
355
00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:33,935
- Yeah, that felt pretty good.
- Oh,
356
00:18:34,035 --> 00:18:35,737
need to take your picture for the wall.
357
00:18:35,837 --> 00:18:37,806
Oh, not without my shag girl.
358
00:18:37,906 --> 00:18:39,240
Nah, I'm good.
359
00:18:41,476 --> 00:18:44,746
Hey, that was, uh
that was some fine holing, Calvin.
360
00:18:44,846 --> 00:18:46,748
Yeah. Maybe the best I've ever seen.
361
00:18:46,848 --> 00:18:48,850
- It was fun.
- Yeah, it was.
362
00:18:48,950 --> 00:18:52,053
Oh, it doesn't have to be over.
See, there's a doubles circuit.
363
00:18:52,153 --> 00:18:54,222
We can take this act
on the road as a team.
364
00:18:54,322 --> 00:18:57,225
There is a tournament
next weekend in Reno.
365
00:18:57,325 --> 00:18:59,761
- Now, the way I figure...
- Look, sorry, Ernie.
366
00:19:00,079 --> 00:19:03,482
I mean, since I sold the
shop, I have been looking
367
00:19:03,507 --> 00:19:06,209
for something to be
passionate about, but...
368
00:19:06,234 --> 00:19:09,070
this is your thing, man. All right?
369
00:19:09,170 --> 00:19:10,805
I'm still searching for mine.
370
00:19:10,905 --> 00:19:13,442
Mm. You'll find it, baby.
371
00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:16,611
Hey, you-you sure about that, Calvin?
372
00:19:16,711 --> 00:19:19,180
Very. But you...
373
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,615
You go out there and give 'em hell.
374
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:21,875
Hey!
375
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:23,968
I'll do it.
I'll go with you, Ernie. Reno!
376
00:19:23,993 --> 00:19:26,062
Reno!
377
00:19:26,087 --> 00:19:27,296
Hey,
378
00:19:27,321 --> 00:19:28,457
- you drive stick?
- Yeah.
379
00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:29,858
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah, you do.
380
00:19:29,883 --> 00:19:32,436
Hey, hey! You're not going to Reno.
381
00:19:32,461 --> 00:19:34,513
You're a wife, a mother and a principal.
382
00:19:34,538 --> 00:19:37,932
Okay, Gemma,
uh, go home, all right? Go on, now.
383
00:19:37,957 --> 00:19:39,626
Go.
384
00:19:45,607 --> 00:19:48,477
Something is definitely wrong with her.
385
00:19:58,487 --> 00:20:02,857
David Seymour Johnson,
first of his name, come forth.
386
00:20:09,864 --> 00:20:11,399
Oh, my God.
387
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:13,001
Is this happening?
388
00:20:13,101 --> 00:20:15,537
The maiden Necie hath decreed
389
00:20:15,637 --> 00:20:19,307
that the size of her bridal
party will increase by one.
390
00:20:19,407 --> 00:20:22,644
Her cousin Keisha will be joining us
from the Woods of Ingle.
391
00:20:24,045 --> 00:20:25,079
Huh?
392
00:20:25,179 --> 00:20:26,881
Keisha from Inglewood.
393
00:20:28,783 --> 00:20:33,254
Wilst thou do me the most high honor
394
00:20:33,354 --> 00:20:35,323
of joining the Groom's Watch?
395
00:20:35,423 --> 00:20:37,526
Wedding is coming.
396
00:20:38,660 --> 00:20:41,763
T'would be my honor, your grace.
397
00:20:43,431 --> 00:20:46,768
With thy very knee
I bendeth like Beckham.
398
00:20:51,806 --> 00:20:53,007
Macchiato!
399
00:20:56,047 --> 00:21:00,047
- Synced and corrected by synk -
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