Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:16,634 --> 00:00:18,203
This is a story from the year
2
00:00:18,303 --> 00:00:21,009
I was determined
to lose my virginity,
3
00:00:21,109 --> 00:00:24,148
also known
as My Year of Dicks.
4
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,435
Watch me right here.
5
00:00:36,339 --> 00:00:39,145
Dear David, the skater
I know from riding the bus,
6
00:00:39,245 --> 00:00:41,015
as I watch you fall,
I can only think
7
00:00:41,115 --> 00:00:42,719
about how much
I'm falling for you.
8
00:00:42,819 --> 00:00:45,592
Over and over, your bones
seem to yearn for freedom
9
00:00:45,692 --> 00:00:47,428
the way mine ache
for your embrace.
10
00:00:48,664 --> 00:00:51,135
He's such a doof.
11
00:00:51,236 --> 00:00:53,306
He's not a doof.
12
00:00:53,406 --> 00:00:54,710
You know I can do this.
Come on.
13
00:00:55,945 --> 00:00:57,348
I love how you file
your nails into sharp points.
14
00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,352
Those tiny daggers of want.
15
00:00:59,452 --> 00:01:02,057
My friend Karina told me
that you told her
16
00:01:02,157 --> 00:01:03,594
you did it so you
could warn everyone
17
00:01:03,694 --> 00:01:05,197
that you were a vampire.
18
00:01:05,297 --> 00:01:06,800
- I need no such warning.
- Geez.
19
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:09,305
In fact,
I find this irresistible,
20
00:01:09,405 --> 00:01:12,779
as I am searching for the one
who will take my first blood,
21
00:01:12,879 --> 00:01:14,716
inhale my innocence.
22
00:01:15,585 --> 00:01:17,822
Perhaps it will be you,
immortal stranger.
23
00:01:19,927 --> 00:01:22,064
- You okay?
- Yeah.
24
00:01:22,164 --> 00:01:23,534
I like it when it bleeds.
25
00:01:23,634 --> 00:01:25,237
That's cool.
26
00:01:25,337 --> 00:01:26,573
I'm gonna teach you
how to ollie.
27
00:01:28,376 --> 00:01:30,581
Get on.
28
00:01:30,682 --> 00:01:32,318
Don't be afraid.
29
00:01:32,418 --> 00:01:34,322
Just tilt your body like this. Yeah.
30
00:01:34,422 --> 00:01:36,225
I am aflutter
with the memories
31
00:01:36,326 --> 00:01:38,129
we are making at this juncture,
32
00:01:38,229 --> 00:01:42,171
our bodies touching, moving,
turning potential energy into--
33
00:01:42,271 --> 00:01:43,239
She actually knows
how to ollie.
34
00:01:43,340 --> 00:01:44,408
I'm fine, Sam.
35
00:01:45,745 --> 00:01:47,816
Hey, aren't your parents
out of town?
36
00:01:47,916 --> 00:01:49,586
Yeah. How'd you know?
37
00:01:50,588 --> 00:01:53,093
I'd like to make sure
you won't be alone tonight.
38
00:01:53,193 --> 00:01:55,263
Oh, I'm not.
My little sister is there.
39
00:01:55,364 --> 00:01:58,103
You know, I'm watching her,
so I'm not alone.
40
00:01:58,203 --> 00:01:59,573
Don't worry. Oh!
41
00:01:59,673 --> 00:02:02,444
Fuck. You mean you.
42
00:02:04,248 --> 00:02:06,654
Shit, that was
some easy fucking money.
43
00:02:06,754 --> 00:02:08,223
Perfect.
44
00:02:09,626 --> 00:02:11,630
Can I come in?
45
00:02:13,668 --> 00:02:15,872
- Hi!
- Who's house is this?
46
00:02:15,972 --> 00:02:17,542
Can I go in your room?
47
00:02:19,646 --> 00:02:21,149
Your parents are awesome.
48
00:02:21,249 --> 00:02:22,786
They don't even
hide their booze.
49
00:02:22,886 --> 00:02:25,223
There's also Tom Collins mix.
50
00:02:25,324 --> 00:02:26,292
This'll work.
51
00:02:28,764 --> 00:02:32,806
Oh! My ex-boyfriend is here.
52
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,483
No.
53
00:02:38,584 --> 00:02:40,588
My dearest Clinton...
54
00:02:42,859 --> 00:02:44,796
I hope it is not
too taxing on your heart
55
00:02:44,896 --> 00:02:46,366
to watch me take a new lover
56
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,738
so soon after
our entanglement at first base.
57
00:02:48,838 --> 00:02:52,512
We are young, but the cruelty
of time dictates I must move on
58
00:02:52,612 --> 00:02:54,248
till I find
the sensual gardener
59
00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:55,918
who will clip
my virginal roots
60
00:02:56,019 --> 00:02:58,223
and let me soar
into womanhood.
61
00:02:58,323 --> 00:03:01,262
But remember,
you broke up with me.
62
00:03:01,362 --> 00:03:02,565
It was beyond my control.
63
00:03:02,665 --> 00:03:05,237
Let's go exploring.
64
00:03:05,738 --> 00:03:08,176
Oh, my aunt has this carpet.
65
00:03:15,992 --> 00:03:17,962
Mm, mm.
66
00:03:18,063 --> 00:03:19,533
All right.
67
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,269
Fuck this.
68
00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:22,739
Hey, um...
69
00:03:22,839 --> 00:03:25,878
I need to tell you something
before we keep going.
70
00:03:25,978 --> 00:03:28,416
- I'm a virgin.
- That's okay.
71
00:03:28,517 --> 00:03:31,222
And... I'm on my period.
72
00:03:31,322 --> 00:03:33,493
Uh...
73
00:03:43,581 --> 00:03:45,818
Um, are you mad at me?
74
00:03:51,429 --> 00:03:52,732
Hey,
75
00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:54,569
did you make out with him
just now?
76
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:57,207
- Is that where y'all went?
- Why? Are you jealous?
77
00:03:57,307 --> 00:04:00,648
No.
You made him win, five to four.
78
00:04:00,748 --> 00:04:01,717
Wait.
79
00:04:02,952 --> 00:04:04,589
Maybe I can say you don't count
because we both pulled you.
80
00:04:04,689 --> 00:04:06,994
No, that would make it--fuck.
81
00:04:07,094 --> 00:04:08,496
Now he's four to three.
82
00:04:08,597 --> 00:04:09,966
Thanks a lot, slut.
83
00:04:10,066 --> 00:04:12,772
- How much did he win?
- $2.58.
84
00:04:16,513 --> 00:04:17,982
That stupid fucking contest.
85
00:04:18,082 --> 00:04:19,686
How'd those girls find out?
86
00:04:19,786 --> 00:04:20,888
He made out with them too.
87
00:04:20,988 --> 00:04:23,694
Dumbass put the exact same
apology note
88
00:04:23,794 --> 00:04:25,263
in both their lockers.
89
00:04:25,363 --> 00:04:26,867
They're best friends.
90
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,671
God, What an idiot.
91
00:04:31,977 --> 00:04:33,413
Isn't it worse
that it was a bet?
92
00:04:33,514 --> 00:04:35,985
No, Sam, it's worse
that I didn't get a letter.
93
00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:39,860
Can I borrow $5.16?
94
00:04:43,066 --> 00:04:44,970
I'm worth double, bitch.
95
00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:46,807
♪ She had the guts ♪
96
00:04:46,907 --> 00:04:48,777
♪ The Lord had the board ♪
97
00:04:48,878 --> 00:04:54,723
♪ Now she can fly ♪
98
00:04:57,829 --> 00:04:58,864
This is a story
of the year
99
00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:00,501
I tried to lose my virginity,
100
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:03,006
also known
as My Year of Dicks.
101
00:05:08,483 --> 00:05:09,953
Oh, my--
102
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,038
- Go to bed.
- Okay.
103
00:05:19,138 --> 00:05:21,743
And whatever you're watching,
cut it out.
104
00:05:21,844 --> 00:05:24,516
- It's an art film.
- Yeah.
105
00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:25,551
Did you ask her
for the tape?
106
00:05:25,651 --> 00:05:26,720
No.
107
00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:31,930
Bonsoir, mon amour.
108
00:05:32,030 --> 00:05:33,934
Je suis Pamela.
109
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,938
Je suis désolé.
110
00:05:36,038 --> 00:05:38,511
Je suis solamente Latin II.
111
00:05:38,611 --> 00:05:40,681
Ergo, je suis non--
112
00:05:40,781 --> 00:05:41,817
how you say--
113
00:05:41,917 --> 00:05:44,956
fluent in Françoisez--
114
00:05:45,056 --> 00:05:49,733
Pero je suis déterminée
to parler in français
115
00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:51,537
parque je t'aime, Wally,
116
00:05:51,637 --> 00:05:54,041
even though I've only seen him
once in real life
117
00:05:54,141 --> 00:05:55,912
and heard him once
on the phone to my friend.
118
00:05:56,012 --> 00:05:56,947
Oh, oui, Pamela.
119
00:05:57,047 --> 00:05:59,853
Un floppy hair
petit garçon royale.
120
00:05:59,953 --> 00:06:01,590
Un objet d'obsession.
121
00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:02,825
Your focus on my pleasure
122
00:06:02,926 --> 00:06:04,963
is exactement superb.
123
00:06:05,063 --> 00:06:06,465
- Oui.
- Oui, oui!
124
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:07,936
We rendezvous
at morrow's dusk
125
00:06:08,036 --> 00:06:09,639
at your place of business.
126
00:06:09,739 --> 00:06:11,610
Perchance your lips
will find my flesh
127
00:06:11,710 --> 00:06:12,979
in the world of the real--
128
00:06:13,079 --> 00:06:14,716
Hey.
129
00:06:16,118 --> 00:06:17,822
Where is Cool as Ice?
130
00:06:17,922 --> 00:06:18,857
Where is it?
131
00:06:18,958 --> 00:06:19,993
The only reason I came here
132
00:06:20,093 --> 00:06:22,097
was to talk shit
about Cool as Ice
133
00:06:22,197 --> 00:06:23,767
- after it was over.
- All right.
134
00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:26,072
So Wally said House Party 2.
I fucked up.
135
00:06:26,172 --> 00:06:27,875
But he did say
we could come, right?
136
00:06:27,976 --> 00:06:29,579
He told you to bring us.
137
00:06:29,679 --> 00:06:32,084
Yes, he can get us into
any movie after it's started.
138
00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:34,455
Two, he can get us
into two movies
139
00:06:34,556 --> 00:06:35,658
after they've started
140
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:37,996
because this bullshit theater
only plays two movies.
141
00:06:38,964 --> 00:06:40,668
- We could see the other one.
- I've seen it.
142
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,505
I'm cultured, Pam.
143
00:06:46,914 --> 00:06:49,451
Bonsoir,
mon petit chou-chou.
144
00:06:50,955 --> 00:06:53,426
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
145
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,787
Oh!
146
00:07:15,036 --> 00:07:15,938
Oh.
147
00:07:16,038 --> 00:07:20,447
Oh, dear, first penis ever
in my hand.
148
00:07:20,548 --> 00:07:22,084
This was unexpected.
149
00:07:22,184 --> 00:07:25,691
I--you feel unlike anything
I thought you would.
150
00:07:25,791 --> 00:07:27,461
You feel inhuman, plastic,
151
00:07:27,562 --> 00:07:28,964
like--like you're made
of doll parts.
152
00:07:29,064 --> 00:07:33,674
I--I can't see you,
and I do not want to.
153
00:07:33,774 --> 00:07:35,645
How am I supposed
to like this?
154
00:07:35,745 --> 00:07:36,980
What do I even do next?
155
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,449
Put it in your mouth.
156
00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:39,786
- Mon dieu!
- What do I do?
157
00:07:39,886 --> 00:07:40,955
- Put it in your mouth.
- Oh, no.
158
00:07:41,055 --> 00:07:42,190
No.
159
00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:45,831
No, if I do this, I will die--
here.
160
00:07:45,931 --> 00:07:47,935
Do not die.
I will die if you die.
161
00:07:48,036 --> 00:07:49,004
- I don't--
- Okay.
162
00:07:49,104 --> 00:07:50,040
Oh.
163
00:07:57,989 --> 00:07:59,491
Why doesn't this
feel right?
164
00:07:59,592 --> 00:08:01,530
Why am I not
who you know I can be?
165
00:08:03,099 --> 00:08:05,738
You're so lucky right now.
166
00:08:05,838 --> 00:08:06,573
Yes.
167
00:08:06,673 --> 00:08:08,142
How can you say that,
Anais Nin?
168
00:08:08,242 --> 00:08:09,813
- She is looking for love.
- No!
169
00:08:09,913 --> 00:08:11,717
Love is useless, invisible.
170
00:08:11,817 --> 00:08:15,223
But sex is sticky, dirty, needy.
171
00:08:15,323 --> 00:08:17,795
Remember, it's sex
that you're after, Pamela.
172
00:08:17,895 --> 00:08:18,897
- You can say no.
- Oui, oui!
173
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,168
Tell him no.
He'll only want you more.
174
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:23,206
But is it me he's wanting?
175
00:08:24,709 --> 00:08:26,780
Come on,
my break's almost over.
176
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,249
Can you just let me do this?
177
00:08:28,349 --> 00:08:30,220
- Do what?
- Fuck you.
178
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:31,690
- No! Oh, he is direct.
- No.
179
00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:32,859
- No, no.
- What is so wrong
180
00:08:33,927 --> 00:08:34,361
- with the touch of a stranger?
- She is a virgin.
181
00:08:34,461 --> 00:08:36,032
Push past naivete!
182
00:08:36,132 --> 00:08:37,234
She should push past
this asshole!
183
00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:38,670
Why won't he look at me?
184
00:08:38,771 --> 00:08:40,040
Because he's not me, Pam.
185
00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:41,543
You are me.
186
00:08:41,643 --> 00:08:43,146
Regardez-moi and get up.
187
00:08:43,246 --> 00:08:45,183
Get up and run--now!
188
00:08:47,054 --> 00:08:48,757
Fucking prude.
189
00:08:49,324 --> 00:08:50,795
Where were you?
190
00:08:50,895 --> 00:08:52,865
Uh... I got lost.
191
00:08:55,638 --> 00:08:56,840
This place sucks.
192
00:08:58,242 --> 00:08:59,846
What?
193
00:08:59,946 --> 00:09:01,883
Sam!
Oh, my God, what the fuck?
194
00:09:03,854 --> 00:09:06,092
Clean up your fucking mess, dude.
195
00:09:07,127 --> 00:09:09,131
Um... sorry!
196
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,037
Au revoir, dick-tête.
197
00:09:14,274 --> 00:09:16,212
You know
how that felt back there?
198
00:09:16,312 --> 00:09:17,314
Cool as ice.
199
00:09:20,019 --> 00:09:21,288
That was crazy.
200
00:09:21,388 --> 00:09:22,592
Get it?
201
00:09:23,694 --> 00:09:23,727
Like the movie we were trying
to see here but failed
202
00:09:24,662 --> 00:09:26,332
because this movie theater
fucking sucks?
203
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,820
Hey.
I'm Pam. I'm 15.
204
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,791
Trying to lose my virginity.
205
00:09:38,891 --> 00:09:41,195
Anyways,
here's My Year of Dicks.
206
00:09:53,386 --> 00:09:54,923
I have always wanted to be
207
00:09:55,023 --> 00:09:56,325
the kind of couple
who touches each other
208
00:09:56,425 --> 00:09:58,897
even when it's too hot
to be alive.
209
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:03,072
And now that's my real life,
210
00:10:03,172 --> 00:10:05,611
thanks to you, sweet Robert,
211
00:10:05,711 --> 00:10:08,951
the boy who really loves
to hold my hand,
212
00:10:09,051 --> 00:10:11,355
like, all the time!
213
00:10:11,455 --> 00:10:13,927
I've never felt so cute
and want--
214
00:10:14,027 --> 00:10:16,867
Fuck,
it's hot as balls out here.
215
00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:19,138
Yeah, it's Houston.
It's summer.
216
00:10:19,238 --> 00:10:20,941
Hey, is it cool
if I sit with you this time?
217
00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:22,879
The last dude I was stuck with
was a screamer.
218
00:10:22,979 --> 00:10:24,281
- I scream.
- Yeah,
219
00:10:24,381 --> 00:10:25,751
but you, I can tell to shut up.
220
00:10:25,851 --> 00:10:27,220
Shut up.
221
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,624
Okay.
222
00:10:28,724 --> 00:10:30,828
What are we doing?
Are we shoving Sam?
223
00:10:30,928 --> 00:10:31,997
I don't need to know why.
224
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:34,669
- I'll shove Sam all day. Shit.
- Oh, shit. Sorry.
225
00:10:34,769 --> 00:10:36,773
You guys,
I'm having the best day--
226
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:49,031
Whoo! Yes!
227
00:10:51,903 --> 00:10:54,174
Hey, it's not my fault.
It's not my fault.
228
00:10:54,274 --> 00:10:55,978
Hey, get off me. Get off.
229
00:11:00,086 --> 00:11:02,090
What are you doing over here?
I couldn't find you.
230
00:11:02,190 --> 00:11:04,428
I got to call my mom and tell
her what time to pick us up.
231
00:11:04,529 --> 00:11:05,965
Not yet, okay?
232
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:07,902
Let's stay until dark.
233
00:11:08,002 --> 00:11:10,206
- Birds are stupid.
- No, they're not, Sam.
234
00:11:10,306 --> 00:11:11,943
Most birds mate for life.
235
00:11:12,043 --> 00:11:14,348
Look, their relationships
matter to them.
236
00:11:14,448 --> 00:11:16,085
Like how nobody believed
237
00:11:16,185 --> 00:11:18,389
that Big Bird's best friend,
Mr. Snuffleupagus,
238
00:11:18,489 --> 00:11:20,026
actually existed.
239
00:11:20,126 --> 00:11:21,897
But he knew he was real.
240
00:11:21,997 --> 00:11:23,934
He never doubted.
241
00:11:24,034 --> 00:11:26,238
And then one day,
the people making the show
242
00:11:26,338 --> 00:11:28,309
realized that they're
teaching kids that adults
243
00:11:28,409 --> 00:11:31,750
won't always believe you
when you tell them big secrets,
244
00:11:31,850 --> 00:11:35,089
so they made everyone see
Mr. Snuffleupagus.
245
00:11:35,189 --> 00:11:39,197
And then they all apologized
to Big Bird one by one.
246
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:41,903
Isn't that kind?
247
00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:43,774
Do you remember that?
248
00:11:45,310 --> 00:11:46,445
Pam...
249
00:11:48,349 --> 00:11:50,988
Do you think...
250
00:11:51,088 --> 00:11:52,892
that Big Bird is a real bird?
251
00:11:52,992 --> 00:11:54,027
Shut up.
252
00:11:54,127 --> 00:11:55,698
Hey, come on,
it's adorable.
253
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,868
So what? You think
Big Bird's a real bird.
254
00:12:00,975 --> 00:12:03,246
Dear Robert,
as we lift off,
255
00:12:03,346 --> 00:12:06,118
so, too, does my heart
take giddy flight.
256
00:12:06,218 --> 00:12:08,757
Get your perfect face ready.
257
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:17,073
I love how you let me control
the pace, the urgency.
258
00:12:18,777 --> 00:12:22,050
I love how we tell each other
what we want.
259
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:42,023
We never even fought, okay?
260
00:12:42,123 --> 00:12:43,961
Not even once.
261
00:12:44,061 --> 00:12:46,766
Maybe he wanted to end it
before you did have a fight.
262
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:49,137
That's what he said
in the parking lot.
263
00:12:49,237 --> 00:12:51,141
He said that we were
better as friends.
264
00:12:51,241 --> 00:12:53,814
And I just don't get it, okay?
265
00:12:53,914 --> 00:12:55,116
Tell me the truth.
266
00:12:55,216 --> 00:12:56,418
Did I do anything?
267
00:12:56,519 --> 00:12:58,122
Did you see me
do something stupid?
268
00:12:58,222 --> 00:12:59,358
I don't know.
269
00:13:00,493 --> 00:13:01,495
Did you mean tonight,
or are we talking about years?
270
00:13:01,596 --> 00:13:03,032
Shut up.
271
00:13:03,132 --> 00:13:04,535
Gross, you just snotted on me.
272
00:13:04,636 --> 00:13:06,138
No, I didn't.
273
00:13:06,238 --> 00:13:08,275
You did. Look. It's on my face.
274
00:13:09,579 --> 00:13:11,248
I don't see anything.
275
00:13:27,347 --> 00:13:29,017
Uh, maybe not.
276
00:13:29,117 --> 00:13:30,086
It's okay.
277
00:13:31,221 --> 00:13:32,457
You--you don't
have to do that.
278
00:13:32,558 --> 00:13:33,860
No, I know.
279
00:13:34,529 --> 00:13:35,330
I mean don't.
280
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:36,933
- Don't do that.
- No, it's okay.
281
00:13:38,503 --> 00:13:41,475
No! I'm telling you no, okay?
282
00:13:42,511 --> 00:13:43,814
Yeah.
283
00:13:43,914 --> 00:13:45,249
My mom's been waiting
long enough.
284
00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:46,519
Let's go.
285
00:13:48,289 --> 00:13:50,093
Sam, wait.
286
00:14:05,456 --> 00:14:09,297
Hey again, it's me.
Still a virgin.
287
00:14:09,398 --> 00:14:11,569
Anyways, you know.
My Year of Dicks.
288
00:14:20,453 --> 00:14:23,059
I am a monster.
289
00:14:23,159 --> 00:14:24,962
Roaming the halls,
290
00:14:25,063 --> 00:14:26,365
I haunt.
291
00:14:26,465 --> 00:14:28,436
I harm.
292
00:14:28,537 --> 00:14:32,277
Oh, I have damaged another.
293
00:14:32,377 --> 00:14:37,053
I hurt my best friend.
I've lost my love.
294
00:14:37,153 --> 00:14:39,024
Writing without a muse?
295
00:14:39,124 --> 00:14:40,460
When will there be an--
296
00:14:41,996 --> 00:14:42,932
- I can't!
- Pam.
297
00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:44,101
I don't know when my dad's
coming home,
298
00:14:45,169 --> 00:14:45,871
my mom's working tonight,
and Natalie's asleep.
299
00:14:46,673 --> 00:14:46,706
Look, I'll pick you up.
300
00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:47,575
- No, Karina!
- Just come,
301
00:14:48,643 --> 00:14:48,677
- and I'll get you home.
- I am not sneak--
302
00:14:50,379 --> 00:14:51,583
Hi! Okay.
303
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:54,522
Okay, look, you'll be home
by 2:00, I promise.
304
00:14:54,622 --> 00:14:57,127
- I'm Pam.
- I don't care.
305
00:14:57,227 --> 00:14:59,231
You want your $10?
Be nice to my friend.
306
00:14:59,331 --> 00:15:00,534
She just got dumped.
307
00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:01,936
Fucking douche.
308
00:15:02,036 --> 00:15:03,874
Being single is cool, Pam.
309
00:15:03,974 --> 00:15:05,611
It doesn't feel cool
to be alone.
310
00:15:05,711 --> 00:15:07,648
You're not alone.
You're with me.
311
00:15:07,748 --> 00:15:09,451
We're both gonna walk up
into this party
312
00:15:09,552 --> 00:15:11,923
like two single bitches
who knows what's up.
313
00:15:12,023 --> 00:15:14,327
I don't really think
I like being called a bitch.
314
00:15:14,428 --> 00:15:16,165
Pam! Listen, just be cool.
315
00:15:16,265 --> 00:15:19,337
Okay, fine, I'm cool.
I'm a cool bitch.
316
00:15:31,094 --> 00:15:33,365
Oh, my God, Karina,
there's drugs here.
317
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:34,468
That is actual cocaine.
318
00:15:35,403 --> 00:15:35,436
All right,
let's get this party started.
319
00:15:36,271 --> 00:15:36,305
You said Kelly's mom
would be here.
320
00:15:36,973 --> 00:15:38,008
Kelly's mom's in the bedroom
321
00:15:38,877 --> 00:15:40,113
committing consensual
statutory rape
322
00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:42,183
with some dude named Scott.
323
00:15:42,283 --> 00:15:43,620
"The" bedroom?
324
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,089
Like there's only one?
325
00:15:45,189 --> 00:15:47,494
- Where does Kelly sleep?
- Oh, shit,
326
00:15:47,595 --> 00:15:50,299
- are you CPS?
- Oh. (laughs) No, why?
327
00:15:50,399 --> 00:15:52,437
- What's your name?
- I'm Pam.
328
00:15:52,538 --> 00:15:55,143
Weird name, Pam.
I'm Joey.
329
00:15:55,243 --> 00:15:57,515
Don't ask me if I want a beer,
because I'm straight-edge.
330
00:15:57,615 --> 00:16:02,157
I don't drink alcohol, do drugs,
or even, like, have a Coke.
331
00:16:02,257 --> 00:16:04,094
Because of antibiotics?
332
00:16:04,194 --> 00:16:05,496
Because it's hard-core.
333
00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:07,467
I'm pure, and I like extremes.
334
00:16:07,568 --> 00:16:08,570
Okay.
335
00:16:08,670 --> 00:16:11,208
Come see.
336
00:16:11,308 --> 00:16:12,978
Something's so funny.
337
00:16:15,116 --> 00:16:16,185
I'm next! I'm next!
338
00:16:16,285 --> 00:16:18,355
Oh! Chug!
339
00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:21,028
Oh, my God!
340
00:16:21,128 --> 00:16:23,332
Where is she, Karina?
341
00:16:23,432 --> 00:16:24,669
Karina!
342
00:16:24,769 --> 00:16:25,504
Fuck.
343
00:16:25,604 --> 00:16:27,608
My mom's here.
You have to hide.
344
00:16:27,708 --> 00:16:28,643
If my mom sees I took you here,
345
00:16:29,512 --> 00:16:30,413
- I'm in so much more trouble.
- Why?
346
00:16:31,114 --> 00:16:31,583
She thinks I'm a bad influence.
347
00:16:32,417 --> 00:16:32,985
Can you fit under the sink, please?
348
00:16:34,087 --> 00:16:34,555
But I don't--
349
00:16:35,089 --> 00:16:36,225
Go to sleep.
350
00:16:37,327 --> 00:16:38,395
- What are you doing here?
- Mom, please, I'm sorry.
351
00:16:38,495 --> 00:16:40,366
It is much too late for sorries.
352
00:16:51,255 --> 00:16:53,192
Uh, if anyone
wants to give me
353
00:16:53,292 --> 00:16:57,367
a ride home,
I don't live far, I think.
354
00:17:05,116 --> 00:17:07,186
- Here.
- Thanks.
355
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,102
Hey.
356
00:17:15,203 --> 00:17:16,305
- Yeah.
- Get out of my bed.
357
00:17:16,405 --> 00:17:17,340
- Sorry.
- Bitch, jeez.
358
00:17:18,309 --> 00:17:18,342
I'll take y'all home
in the morning.
359
00:17:18,777 --> 00:17:19,512
Thanks.
360
00:17:20,747 --> 00:17:23,018
Oh, your boots are still on.
361
00:17:23,118 --> 00:17:25,591
- Are you cold?
- I never take them off.
362
00:17:25,691 --> 00:17:27,327
They are a part of me.
363
00:17:27,427 --> 00:17:29,364
Oh, oh, um, yeah.
364
00:17:34,642 --> 00:17:37,480
Dear Straight-Edge Joey,
365
00:17:37,581 --> 00:17:39,050
I guess sometimes
you can't predict
366
00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:41,388
how love will find you.
367
00:17:41,488 --> 00:17:43,526
Your kindness tonight
has shown me
368
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:46,431
there's no need to fear
what comes next.
369
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,337
I love your eyes.
370
00:17:49,437 --> 00:17:50,807
They're so blue.
371
00:17:50,908 --> 00:17:53,513
And your hair is perfect.
372
00:17:53,613 --> 00:17:56,519
Your skin is rad.
It's just right.
373
00:17:56,619 --> 00:17:59,558
So... pure.
374
00:17:59,659 --> 00:18:01,796
That's right, so pure.
375
00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:03,633
I should lose my purity
to someone
376
00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:05,837
who admires exactly that.
377
00:18:07,508 --> 00:18:09,578
Besides, isn't it the virgin
378
00:18:09,679 --> 00:18:11,783
who always gets killed
in these things?
379
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,454
Let's tell him
what a gift he's receiving.
380
00:18:14,555 --> 00:18:16,693
Joey, I wanted you to know,
381
00:18:16,793 --> 00:18:18,362
I'm a virgin.
382
00:18:18,462 --> 00:18:20,232
You'll be my first.
383
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,738
Oh, Christ, I--I--
384
00:18:22,838 --> 00:18:25,176
I'm not important enough
for that.
385
00:18:25,276 --> 00:18:26,478
Fuck.
386
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,317
Good night, Kim.
387
00:18:29,417 --> 00:18:30,654
Ugh.
Huh.
388
00:18:31,856 --> 00:18:33,325
You know, If you were like,
5% dumber, you wouldn't get
389
00:18:34,327 --> 00:18:35,429
into half the stupid shit
I've seen you do.
390
00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:36,833
Okay.
391
00:18:36,933 --> 00:18:38,603
Karina's always goin' on
about how you're so funny
392
00:18:38,703 --> 00:18:39,805
and you're so great,
393
00:18:39,905 --> 00:18:41,576
but you almost fucked
a Nazi skinhead
394
00:18:41,676 --> 00:18:43,112
on my carpet last night, so...
395
00:18:43,212 --> 00:18:44,515
Who's the total dumbass?
396
00:18:44,615 --> 00:18:46,586
- What? No, I did not do that.
- It's you.
397
00:18:46,686 --> 00:18:47,888
I didn't do that.
398
00:18:47,988 --> 00:18:50,560
- I did not do that. I would not.
- Yeah, dude.
399
00:18:50,661 --> 00:18:51,763
He's a fucking racist
piece-of-shit
400
00:18:51,863 --> 00:18:52,798
fucking turd-licking,
white-power,
401
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:54,568
stupid-ass, inbred,
ignorant flag fucker
402
00:18:54,669 --> 00:18:55,604
is what he is.
403
00:18:56,471 --> 00:18:56,873
And I've seen that dude
shoot heroin,
404
00:18:57,841 --> 00:18:58,543
so fuck his fake-ass
straight-edge bullshit
405
00:18:59,444 --> 00:18:59,745
all the way
to the double cheeseburger
406
00:19:00,814 --> 00:19:01,549
he probably eats in the closet
while he jacks off
407
00:19:02,785 --> 00:19:04,321
and then drinks his own jizz
'cause he's so "pure of mind"
408
00:19:05,389 --> 00:19:06,726
or whatever the fuck
he's always going on about.
409
00:19:06,826 --> 00:19:09,497
Okay. Okay.
Kelly, oh, my God.
410
00:19:09,598 --> 00:19:12,236
Okay, Nazi almost fucker.
411
00:19:12,337 --> 00:19:14,709
Dad, I'm grounded.
412
00:19:14,809 --> 00:19:15,744
Is that Pam?
413
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:23,225
Hey.
414
00:19:23,325 --> 00:19:24,427
You know.
415
00:19:24,528 --> 00:19:27,233
The, uh--the whole thing?
Um, sorry.
416
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:28,435
My Year of Dicks.
417
00:19:31,509 --> 00:19:33,613
Sneaking out of the house
to go to a party with boys.
418
00:19:33,713 --> 00:19:36,819
Never would've
thought you'd do that.
419
00:19:36,919 --> 00:19:38,823
Well, the good thing
about you being grounded is,
420
00:19:38,923 --> 00:19:40,894
you get to spend time with me
on my day off.
421
00:19:40,994 --> 00:19:42,865
I get to keep you all to myself.
422
00:19:44,367 --> 00:19:45,403
What are these?
423
00:19:45,504 --> 00:19:47,741
Are these love letters?
424
00:19:47,841 --> 00:19:49,545
They're mine!
From... high school.
425
00:19:49,645 --> 00:19:50,714
It's so embarrassing.
426
00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:51,849
I should burn these.
427
00:19:51,949 --> 00:19:53,720
Promise me
you'll never read these.
428
00:19:56,692 --> 00:19:58,596
Dear Mom,
it's moments like these
429
00:19:58,696 --> 00:20:01,234
I'm reminded you were
once young like me,
430
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,673
maybe a lot like me,
and now we're here
431
00:20:03,773 --> 00:20:05,476
having a quiet private moment
432
00:20:05,577 --> 00:20:07,648
where we could maybe
share something...
433
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,719
honest and real.
434
00:20:09,819 --> 00:20:13,292
I could use your help.
435
00:20:13,392 --> 00:20:15,597
Mom, can I ask you a question?
436
00:20:15,697 --> 00:20:17,701
Mm-hmm.
437
00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:19,805
How old were you
when you first had sex?
438
00:20:21,609 --> 00:20:23,646
Shut up!
You shut the fuck up!
439
00:20:23,747 --> 00:20:25,784
- Mom, I--
- Right now, oh, I'm not--
440
00:20:25,884 --> 00:20:27,220
You shut up.
441
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:28,990
What?
442
00:20:29,090 --> 00:20:31,461
Pamela, your father
would like to speak with you.
443
00:20:31,562 --> 00:20:33,600
Oh, my God, Mom! No! No.
444
00:20:41,481 --> 00:20:43,252
Your mother tells me
445
00:20:43,352 --> 00:20:45,590
you're thinking
about having sex.
446
00:20:45,690 --> 00:20:46,726
Dad, no, I wasn't.
447
00:20:46,826 --> 00:20:48,530
I was trying to have
a general--
448
00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:49,765
Regardless,
449
00:20:49,865 --> 00:20:52,671
what makes you think
you'd like sex?
450
00:20:53,673 --> 00:20:55,544
They like it on TV?
451
00:20:55,644 --> 00:20:56,813
True.
452
00:20:56,913 --> 00:20:58,683
But that's not reality.
453
00:20:58,783 --> 00:21:00,821
Let me ask you something.
454
00:21:00,921 --> 00:21:02,691
Have you ever had an orgasm?
455
00:21:03,325 --> 00:21:04,662
What?
456
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,670
No. No.
457
00:21:08,770 --> 00:21:10,707
No, Dad. No.
458
00:21:10,807 --> 00:21:13,713
So you've never masturbated
or anything.
459
00:21:16,786 --> 00:21:18,322
No, no, no, no.
460
00:21:18,422 --> 00:21:19,424
No.
461
00:21:19,525 --> 00:21:21,896
Well, Pamela,
let me tell you.
462
00:21:21,996 --> 00:21:24,969
Women don't actually like
having sex.
463
00:21:25,837 --> 00:21:26,939
Oh.
464
00:21:27,039 --> 00:21:29,945
They like
the kissing beforehand
465
00:21:30,045 --> 00:21:31,949
and the hugging
and cuddling after,
466
00:21:32,049 --> 00:21:35,055
but the actual penetration
467
00:21:35,156 --> 00:21:37,928
is quite unpleasant
for a woman.
468
00:21:38,028 --> 00:21:40,901
Now, your mother
gets wet easily,
469
00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:42,871
and the penis
doesn't actually know
470
00:21:42,971 --> 00:21:45,009
the difference between a vagina
471
00:21:45,109 --> 00:21:46,111
or a rubber doll.
472
00:21:46,211 --> 00:21:49,785
The male desire
can be fulfilled quite easily
473
00:21:49,885 --> 00:21:52,724
without the woman
having to suffer
474
00:21:52,825 --> 00:21:57,968
through the rather painful
and humiliating act of coitus.
475
00:21:58,068 --> 00:22:01,041
That's why I think
you should start with oral sex.
476
00:22:01,141 --> 00:22:03,345
It's got fewer complications,
477
00:22:03,445 --> 00:22:06,017
and it won't ruin
your chances at a future.
478
00:22:06,819 --> 00:22:08,021
Good talk.
479
00:22:16,104 --> 00:22:18,075
- So what did he say--
- Please don't make me tell you.
480
00:22:18,175 --> 00:22:21,047
Ah. That's fair.
That's fair.
481
00:22:22,851 --> 00:22:23,920
Uh, hi.
482
00:22:25,055 --> 00:22:27,326
I'd like to spend this whole day
saying I'm sorry to you.
483
00:22:37,514 --> 00:22:38,983
- Hey, um--
- Oh, my God.
484
00:22:39,083 --> 00:22:40,987
Sam. What are you--
485
00:22:41,087 --> 00:22:42,658
I don't want to mess this up.
486
00:22:42,758 --> 00:22:44,662
- Please, just--
- You're so naked.
487
00:22:44,762 --> 00:22:46,666
It's for a point, I promise.
488
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:47,834
Okay.
489
00:22:47,935 --> 00:22:49,705
Uh...
490
00:22:49,805 --> 00:22:51,742
dear Pamela,
491
00:22:51,842 --> 00:22:53,078
I wanted to talk to you
492
00:22:53,178 --> 00:22:54,915
in the way
that you talk to others.
493
00:22:55,015 --> 00:22:56,819
I know words matter to you,
494
00:22:56,919 --> 00:23:01,629
and you matter to me,
and I--uh--
495
00:23:01,729 --> 00:23:03,900
No, I'm not reading that part.
That's so fucking stupid.
496
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,135
Hang on.
497
00:23:07,908 --> 00:23:09,410
Uh, sorry.
498
00:23:11,014 --> 00:23:13,553
Oh, no, sorry.
Please stay here. Just--
499
00:23:16,391 --> 00:23:17,794
You've been with some
dickhole shitbags,
500
00:23:18,896 --> 00:23:19,999
and not one of them
has been good enough for you.
501
00:23:20,099 --> 00:23:22,069
I don't know if anybody is.
502
00:23:22,169 --> 00:23:23,773
But you...
503
00:23:23,873 --> 00:23:25,710
are good enough.
504
00:23:25,810 --> 00:23:27,380
Mm.
505
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,450
You're hot, smart, funny,
506
00:23:29,551 --> 00:23:31,154
and you are already
more of a woman
507
00:23:31,254 --> 00:23:33,458
than any girl in the world.
508
00:23:33,559 --> 00:23:35,630
Oh, no.
509
00:23:37,768 --> 00:23:39,538
I'm cold.
510
00:23:39,638 --> 00:23:42,143
I can tell.
511
00:23:44,949 --> 00:23:47,955
- Here.
- Thanks.
512
00:23:48,055 --> 00:23:50,159
Uh--
513
00:23:50,259 --> 00:23:51,662
Okay.
514
00:23:51,762 --> 00:23:53,533
Are you warm now?
515
00:23:53,633 --> 00:23:54,935
Getting there.
516
00:23:56,171 --> 00:23:58,108
Will this fit me?
517
00:23:59,043 --> 00:24:01,047
- There.
- I'm warming up now.
518
00:24:01,147 --> 00:24:02,517
Here.
519
00:24:02,618 --> 00:24:03,987
Give me your hands.
520
00:24:11,602 --> 00:24:12,771
I love you.
521
00:24:16,612 --> 00:24:17,914
Can I come in?
522
00:24:18,015 --> 00:24:19,484
Please come in.
523
00:24:23,158 --> 00:24:26,632
Your feet are freezing!
524
00:24:42,163 --> 00:24:44,033
♪ Touch me ♪
525
00:24:47,139 --> 00:24:48,643
♪ See ♪
526
00:24:51,949 --> 00:24:53,753
♪ Watch me ♪
527
00:24:56,792 --> 00:24:58,495
♪ See ♪
528
00:25:39,878 --> 00:25:42,884
Enhanced by 3Play Media
35659
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
