All language subtitles for Theoneses (1

check out the uh platforms

check out the uh platforms
are<00:00:17.340> those<00:00:17.580> not<00:00:17.880> the<00:00:18.060> most

are those not the most

are those not the most
is<00:00:19.260> that<00:00:19.440> Madonna<00:00:19.980> or<00:00:20.279> what

do you think I didn't know that story

do you think I didn't know that story
not<00:00:32.040> too<00:00:32.279> bad<00:00:32.460> for<00:00:32.700> 74.

oh

oh
yeah

as long as I'm able to get to that

as long as I'm able to get to that
bathroom<00:00:55.980> and<00:00:56.340> get<00:00:56.520> to<00:00:56.640> my<00:00:56.820> makeup<00:00:57.180> mirror<00:00:57.660> and

bathroom and get to my makeup mirror and

bathroom and get to my makeup mirror and
my<00:00:57.960> makeup<00:00:58.320> and<00:00:58.620> honey<00:00:59.399> I'm<00:00:59.940> gonna<00:01:00.059> be<00:01:00.239> pumping

my makeup and honey I'm gonna be pumping

my makeup and honey I'm gonna be pumping
this<00:01:00.840> hair<00:01:01.140> and<00:01:01.320> spraying<00:01:01.860> and<00:01:01.980> putting<00:01:02.280> on

this hair and spraying and putting on

this hair and spraying and putting on
that<00:01:02.579> makeup<00:01:03.080> and<00:01:04.080> yes<00:01:04.559> ma'am

that makeup and yes ma'am

that makeup and yes ma'am
I<00:01:06.780> don't<00:01:07.020> intend<00:01:07.320> to<00:01:07.439> go<00:01:07.560> out<00:01:07.680> of<00:01:07.860> here<00:01:07.979> looking

I don't intend to go out of here looking

I don't intend to go out of here looking
like<00:01:08.460> no<00:01:08.700> cotton<00:01:09.060> picking<00:01:09.420> old<00:01:09.720> hag

like no cotton picking old hag

like no cotton picking old hag
and<00:01:12.600> I<00:01:12.780> yes<00:01:13.020> I'm<00:01:13.320> gonna<00:01:13.439> look<00:01:13.619> nice<00:01:13.860> it's

and I yes I'm gonna look nice it's

and I yes I'm gonna look nice it's
because<00:01:14.400> all<00:01:14.760> those<00:01:14.939> years<00:01:15.119> of<00:01:15.420> having<00:01:15.600> to

because all those years of having to

because all those years of having to
live<00:01:15.960> as<00:01:16.080> a<00:01:16.260> man

live as a man

live as a man
and<00:01:18.000> wanting<00:01:18.420> to<00:01:18.720> uh<00:01:19.140> buy<00:01:19.619> pretty<00:01:19.920> clothes

and wanting to uh buy pretty clothes

and wanting to uh buy pretty clothes
dress<00:01:20.759> up

dress up

dress up
wanting<00:01:22.380> to<00:01:22.619> just<00:01:23.040> be<00:01:23.220> me<00:01:23.520> and<00:01:24.119> I<00:01:24.299> couldn't

wanting to just be me and I couldn't

wanting to just be me and I couldn't
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foreign

foreign

foreign
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thank you

thank you
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foreign

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foreign

foreign

foreign
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foreign

foreign

foreign
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ER but I can dance

ER but I can dance
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foreign

foreign
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[Music]

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what<00:04:30.120> are<00:04:30.240> you<00:04:30.300> doing<00:04:30.600> in<00:04:30.900> the<00:04:31.080> place<00:04:31.259> like

what are you doing in the place like

what are you doing in the place like
this<00:04:31.979> baby

this baby

this baby
you<00:04:35.400> come<00:04:35.580> to<00:04:35.759> see<00:04:36.000> Chiquita

you come to see Chiquita

you come to see Chiquita
yes

that was the time that I met this guy to

that was the time that I met this guy to
disco<00:04:51.800> who<00:04:52.800> was<00:04:52.979> dressed<00:04:53.280> up<00:04:53.400> like<00:04:53.639> John<00:04:53.940> Wayne

disco who was dressed up like John Wayne

disco who was dressed up like John Wayne
and<00:04:56.639> he<00:04:56.880> was<00:04:57.060> so<00:04:57.360> masculine<00:04:57.960> so<00:04:58.380> fine<00:04:59.060> and<00:05:00.060> we

and he was so masculine so fine and we

and he was so masculine so fine and we
just<00:05:00.600> hit<00:05:00.780> it<00:05:00.960> off<00:05:01.139> really<00:05:01.500> well

just hit it off really well

just hit it off really well
and<00:05:03.540> I<00:05:03.660> just<00:05:03.840> thought<00:05:03.960> oh<00:05:04.259> I<00:05:04.560> had<00:05:04.800> just<00:05:05.100> drunk

and I just thought oh I had just drunk

and I just thought oh I had just drunk
gold

gold

gold
so<00:05:08.940> anyway

so anyway

so anyway
um

somehow we ended up at his motel room

somehow we ended up at his motel room
yes<00:05:16.919> he<00:05:17.160> was<00:05:17.280> wearing<00:05:17.639> flavius<00:05:18.240> undergarments

yes he was wearing flavius undergarments

yes he was wearing flavius undergarments
and<00:05:19.380> he<00:05:19.620> was<00:05:20.100> throwing<00:05:20.699> himself<00:05:20.940> on<00:05:21.300> the<00:05:21.479> bed

and he was throwing himself on the bed

and he was throwing himself on the bed
and<00:05:22.139> hardly<00:05:22.680> spank<00:05:23.280> me<00:05:23.580> oh

and hardly spank me oh

and hardly spank me oh
and<00:05:25.680> and<00:05:25.680> do<00:05:26.100> all<00:05:26.280> kinds<00:05:26.580> of<00:05:26.580> tarot<00:05:27.000> he<00:05:27.539> he<00:05:27.780> was

and and do all kinds of tarot he he was

and and do all kinds of tarot he he was
into<00:05:28.500> some<00:05:28.979> kind<00:05:29.160> of<00:05:29.340> weird<00:05:29.759> scene<00:05:30.240> and<00:05:30.539> so<00:05:30.720> I

into some kind of weird scene and so I

into some kind of weird scene and so I
got<00:05:31.139> I<00:05:31.440> got<00:05:31.620> out<00:05:31.800> of<00:05:31.919> there<00:05:32.100> real<00:05:32.400> quick<00:05:32.580> it

got I got out of there real quick it

got I got out of there real quick it
went<00:05:33.060> home

went home

went home
foreign

two of my four Sons rezad here with me

two of my four Sons rezad here with me
we<00:05:45.660> lived<00:05:46.020> apart<00:05:46.380> for<00:05:47.100> several<00:05:47.520> years<00:05:48.020> and<00:05:49.020> you

we lived apart for several years and you

we lived apart for several years and you
know<00:05:49.440> after<00:05:49.800> my<00:05:50.220> ex<00:05:50.460> had<00:05:50.699> passed<00:05:51.060> away<00:05:51.120> they

know after my ex had passed away they

know after my ex had passed away they
um I<00:05:53.280> talked<00:05:53.520> them<00:05:53.580> into<00:05:53.759> selling<00:05:54.840> the<00:05:55.380> house

um I talked them into selling the house

um I talked them into selling the house
and<00:05:55.740> moving<00:05:56.100> with<00:05:56.220> me<00:05:56.460> and<00:05:57.360> we<00:05:57.479> would<00:05:57.660> be<00:05:57.840> back

and moving with me and we would be back

and moving with me and we would be back
together<00:05:58.259> like<00:05:58.680> a<00:05:58.919> family<00:05:59.039> again<00:05:59.460> so<00:06:00.180> you<00:06:01.080> know

together like a family again so you know

together like a family again so you know
it's<00:06:01.500> worked<00:06:01.979> out<00:06:02.039> pretty<00:06:02.400> well

it's worked out pretty well

it's worked out pretty well
it<00:06:03.660> gets<00:06:03.900> a<00:06:04.020> little<00:06:04.139> trying<00:06:04.380> sometimes<00:06:05.160> but<00:06:06.120> um

it gets a little trying sometimes but um

it gets a little trying sometimes but um
it<00:06:07.680> helps<00:06:07.979> that<00:06:08.160> I'm<00:06:08.340> on<00:06:08.520> one<00:06:08.759> end<00:06:08.880> of<00:06:09.060> the

it helps that I'm on one end of the

it helps that I'm on one end of the
house<00:06:09.360> and<00:06:09.600> they're<00:06:09.720> on<00:06:09.900> the<00:06:10.080> other<00:06:10.139> so<00:06:10.500> we<00:06:10.740> I

house and they're on the other so we I

house and they're on the other so we I
have<00:06:11.699> a<00:06:11.820> certain<00:06:11.940> degree<00:06:12.180> of<00:06:12.360> privacy

have a certain degree of privacy

have a certain degree of privacy
and<00:06:14.520> um

and um

and um
but<00:06:15.840> other<00:06:16.020> than<00:06:16.320> that<00:06:16.500> we<00:06:16.800> just<00:06:17.280> uh<00:06:17.520> we<00:06:17.759> bicker

but other than that we just uh we bicker

but other than that we just uh we bicker
and<00:06:18.419> we<00:06:18.600> fuss<00:06:18.900> and<00:06:19.199> we<00:06:19.380> argue<00:06:19.800> and<00:06:20.180> uh<00:06:21.180> but<00:06:21.479> we

and we fuss and we argue and uh but we

and we fuss and we argue and uh but we
love<00:06:21.840> each<00:06:22.020> other<00:06:22.199> and<00:06:22.800> uh<00:06:23.160> we<00:06:23.460> are<00:06:23.639> very

love each other and uh we are very

love each other and uh we are very
supportive

Heavenly Father we thank you for this

Heavenly Father we thank you for this
day<00:06:33.060> and<00:06:33.240> for<00:06:33.419> this<00:06:33.660> food<00:06:33.900> and<00:06:34.080> for<00:06:34.319> the

day and for this food and for the

day and for this food and for the
privilege<00:06:34.860> of<00:06:34.979> sharing<00:06:35.460> all<00:06:35.699> this<00:06:35.940> together

privilege of sharing all this together

privilege of sharing all this together
the<00:06:37.500> joy

the joy

the joy
and<00:06:39.419> the<00:06:39.660> sorrow

and the sorrow

and the sorrow
the<00:06:41.400> good<00:06:41.580> food<00:06:41.819> the<00:06:42.300> laughter

the good food the laughter

the good food the laughter
another<00:06:44.400> day<00:06:44.639> together<00:06:44.880> and<00:06:45.240> we<00:06:45.419> pray<00:06:45.539> for

another day together and we pray for

another day together and we pray for
many<00:06:46.020> more<00:06:46.259> to<00:06:46.500> come

many more to come

many more to come
in<00:06:48.060> the<00:06:48.180> name<00:06:48.360> of<00:06:48.660> Jesus<00:06:49.080> we<00:06:49.500> pray<00:06:49.740> amen<00:06:50.520> now

in the name of Jesus we pray amen now

in the name of Jesus we pray amen now
yes

yes

yes
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what was it Gene Harlow said uh I'm

what was it Gene Harlow said uh I'm
going<00:07:21.120> to<00:07:21.240> slip<00:07:21.479> into<00:07:21.660> something<00:07:21.960> more

going to slip into something more

going to slip into something more
comfortable

pantyhose oh they've come out with

pantyhose oh they've come out with
pantyhose<00:07:33.240> for<00:07:33.479> men<00:07:33.720> now

it's not easy being transgender every

it's not easy being transgender every
day<00:07:40.500> it's<00:07:41.160> a<00:07:41.340> challenge

day it's a challenge

day it's a challenge
you<00:07:43.800> can<00:07:43.919> use<00:07:44.819> all<00:07:45.240> the<00:07:45.479> willpower<00:07:46.080> you<00:07:46.860> have

you can use all the willpower you have

you can use all the willpower you have
to<00:07:47.400> try<00:07:47.580> to

to try to

to try to
to<00:07:48.960> keep<00:07:49.139> this<00:07:49.380> in<00:07:49.740> the<00:07:49.919> shadows

to keep this in the shadows

to keep this in the shadows
at<00:07:51.599> some<00:07:51.780> point<00:07:52.020> it's<00:07:52.500> going<00:07:52.740> to<00:07:52.919> come<00:07:53.099> out<00:07:53.280> in

at some point it's going to come out in

at some point it's going to come out in
the<00:07:53.580> open<00:07:53.699> and<00:07:54.360> you<00:07:54.599> cannot<00:07:54.900> find<00:07:55.199> it

the open and you cannot find it

the open and you cannot find it
what<00:07:57.780> women<00:07:57.960> have<00:07:58.259> to<00:07:58.380> go<00:07:58.560> through

by the time I decide to do something

by the time I decide to do something
I<00:08:06.120> was<00:08:06.240> in<00:08:06.419> my<00:08:06.539> late<00:08:06.660> 30s<00:08:07.139> I<00:08:07.800> had<00:08:07.979> four<00:08:08.280> small

I was in my late 30s I had four small

I was in my late 30s I had four small
children

children

children
I<00:08:10.139> had<00:08:10.319> to<00:08:10.500> confront<00:08:11.160> the<00:08:11.520> wife

I had to confront the wife

I had to confront the wife
and<00:08:13.020> go<00:08:13.199> through<00:08:13.380> the<00:08:13.620> divorce<00:08:14.039> change<00:08:14.639> jobs

and go through the divorce change jobs

and go through the divorce change jobs
start<00:08:16.080> a<00:08:16.259> whole<00:08:16.380> new<00:08:16.500> way<00:08:16.740> of<00:08:16.860> life<00:08:16.979> okay

start a whole new way of life okay

start a whole new way of life okay
how<00:08:19.800> did<00:08:20.039> I<00:08:20.220> tell<00:08:20.340> you<00:08:20.460> I<00:08:20.699> used<00:08:20.879> to<00:08:21.000> be<00:08:21.240> a

how did I tell you I used to be a

how did I tell you I used to be a
hairdresser<00:08:22.319> cosmetologist<00:08:23.180> for<00:08:24.180> about<00:08:24.360> six

hairdresser cosmetologist for about six

hairdresser cosmetologist for about six
years<00:08:24.780> oh<00:08:25.080> yes

um school teacher nine years

um school teacher nine years
an<00:08:30.960> accountant

an accountant

an accountant
I've<00:08:33.120> done<00:08:33.300> everything<00:08:33.599> but<00:08:34.080> be<00:08:34.320> a<00:08:34.500> stripper<00:08:35.459> I

I've done everything but be a stripper I

I've done everything but be a stripper I
haven't tried<00:08:36.240> that<00:08:36.479> yet<00:08:36.719> I'm<00:08:37.560> not<00:08:37.740> real<00:08:37.860> good

haven't tried that yet I'm not real good

haven't tried that yet I'm not real good
about<00:08:38.159> swinging<00:08:38.580> around<00:08:38.700> poles

the doctors in Jackson at that time none

the doctors in Jackson at that time none
of<00:08:44.760> them<00:08:44.880> were<00:08:45.060> treating<00:08:45.420> transgender<00:08:46.080> people

of them were treating transgender people

of them were treating transgender people
and<00:08:47.160> they<00:08:47.339> didn't<00:08:47.519> want<00:08:47.760> to<00:08:47.880> talk<00:08:48.060> about<00:08:48.240> it

and they didn't want to talk about it

and they didn't want to talk about it
they<00:08:48.660> didn't<00:08:48.779> want<00:08:48.959> anything<00:08:49.080> to<00:08:49.260> do<00:08:49.380> with<00:08:49.500> it

they didn't want anything to do with it

they didn't want anything to do with it
but<00:08:51.360> the<00:08:52.140> surgery<00:08:52.380> was<00:08:52.920> always<00:08:53.100> uppermost<00:08:53.700> in

but the surgery was always uppermost in

but the surgery was always uppermost in
my<00:08:54.180> mind

I struggled for years to raise the money

I struggled for years to raise the money
because<00:08:59.820> I<00:09:00.779> was<00:09:00.899> helping<00:09:01.260> support<00:09:01.560> my<00:09:02.279> four

because I was helping support my four

because I was helping support my four
children

children

children
and<00:09:05.220> then<00:09:05.459> I<00:09:06.240> sought<00:09:06.420> out<00:09:06.720> a<00:09:07.380> reputable

and then I sought out a reputable

and then I sought out a reputable
surgeon<00:09:08.339> in<00:09:09.240> Brussels<00:09:09.660> Belgium<00:09:10.620> at<00:09:11.100> that<00:09:11.279> time

surgeon in Brussels Belgium at that time

surgeon in Brussels Belgium at that time
I<00:09:11.940> was<00:09:12.060> 60<00:09:12.300> years<00:09:12.660> old

I started out with nothing no money

I started out with nothing no money
no<00:09:20.339> resources<00:09:20.880> it<00:09:21.420> seems<00:09:21.720> like<00:09:21.899> a<00:09:22.620> miracle

no resources it seems like a miracle

no resources it seems like a miracle
that<00:09:23.519> I<00:09:23.700> actually<00:09:24.000> was<00:09:24.360> able<00:09:24.660> to<00:09:24.839> finally

that I actually was able to finally

that I actually was able to finally
achieve<00:09:25.800> at<00:09:25.920> this

feel

feel
worthless

I'm trying not to feel so inferior like

I'm trying not to feel so inferior like
I<00:10:29.160> I'd<00:10:29.580> like<00:10:29.760> to<00:10:29.880> like<00:10:30.180> to<00:10:30.360> feel<00:10:30.420> that<00:10:30.600> I<00:10:30.720> matter

[Music]

[Music]
I<00:10:49.740> decided<00:10:50.160> I<00:10:50.700> need<00:10:50.820> to<00:10:50.940> change<00:10:51.180> things<00:10:51.540> and

I decided I need to change things and

I decided I need to change things and
I<00:10:53.880> hope<00:10:54.060> to<00:10:54.180> eat<00:10:54.360> murder<00:10:54.660> and<00:10:54.899> I<00:10:55.019> hope<00:10:55.140> to<00:10:55.320> find

I hope to eat murder and I hope to find

I hope to eat murder and I hope to find
that<00:10:55.860> special<00:10:56.100> person<00:10:56.459> and<00:10:56.760> I<00:10:56.940> hope<00:10:57.060> to<00:10:57.180> have

that special person and I hope to have

that special person and I hope to have
kids<00:10:57.480> and<00:10:57.660> hope<00:10:57.839> to<00:10:57.959> have<00:10:58.079> a<00:10:58.200> family

we found that person yet but like I said

we found that person yet but like I said
I<00:11:02.519> hope<00:11:02.640> to

and there's a lot I want there's a lot I

and there's a lot I want there's a lot I
want<00:11:12.480> out<00:11:12.660> of<00:11:12.779> this<00:11:12.899> life

want out of this life

want out of this life
if<00:11:14.820> I<00:11:14.940> if<00:11:15.300> I<00:11:15.480> could<00:11:15.600> choose<00:11:16.320> everything<00:11:16.560> I

if I if I could choose everything I

if I if I could choose everything I
wanted<00:11:17.100> I<00:11:17.940> guess<00:11:18.000> I'd<00:11:18.240> be<00:11:18.480> uh<00:11:18.839> a<00:11:19.500> very<00:11:19.620> davishly

wanted I guess I'd be uh a very davishly

wanted I guess I'd be uh a very davishly
good<00:11:20.399> looking<00:11:20.579> Playboy<00:11:21.180> going<00:11:21.720> from<00:11:21.959> one<00:11:22.200> girl

good looking Playboy going from one girl

good looking Playboy going from one girl
to<00:11:22.620> another<00:11:22.800> girl<00:11:23.100> but<00:11:23.399> in<00:11:23.579> the<00:11:23.700> end<00:11:23.820> I<00:11:24.540> just

to another girl but in the end I just

to another girl but in the end I just
would<00:11:24.779> rather<00:11:25.079> have<00:11:25.260> somebody<00:11:25.560> I<00:11:26.279> can<00:11:26.459> marry

would rather have somebody I can marry

would rather have somebody I can marry
and<00:11:27.120> maybe<00:11:27.540> go<00:11:27.720> out<00:11:28.019> with

and maybe go out with

and maybe go out with
because<00:11:29.279> to<00:11:29.519> me<00:11:29.700> that's<00:11:29.880> a<00:11:30.060> beautiful<00:11:30.180> thing

whoa immaculate

whoa immaculate
yes

yes

yes
yes<00:11:37.980> oh<00:11:38.399> and<00:11:38.640> the<00:11:38.880> drawers<00:11:39.300> are<00:11:39.779> closed

yes oh and the drawers are closed

yes oh and the drawers are closed
there's<00:11:40.560> not<00:11:40.740> underwear<00:11:41.220> hanging<00:11:41.640> out

there's not underwear hanging out

there's not underwear hanging out
there's<00:11:43.140> no<00:11:43.320> candy<00:11:43.500> wrappers<00:11:44.100> on<00:11:44.339> the<00:11:44.459> floor

there's no candy wrappers on the floor

there's no candy wrappers on the floor
and<00:11:45.600> no<00:11:45.779> coffee<00:11:46.019> cups<00:11:46.560> with<00:11:46.680> green<00:11:47.040> mold

and no coffee cups with green mold

and no coffee cups with green mold
growing<00:11:47.880> in<00:11:48.060> them

growing in them

growing in them
this<00:11:50.760> is<00:11:50.880> true

ah

ah
I<00:12:01.079> like<00:12:01.200> it<00:12:01.440> I<00:12:02.040> like<00:12:02.160> it

bread our oldest almost died after

bread our oldest almost died after
childbirth<00:13:23.279> a<00:13:23.339> day<00:13:23.519> or<00:13:23.639> so<00:13:23.760> after<00:13:23.940> child<00:13:24.240> birth

childbirth a day or so after child birth

childbirth a day or so after child birth
with<00:13:24.779> convulsions<00:13:25.560> you<00:13:26.040> know<00:13:26.220> because<00:13:26.399> of

with convulsions you know because of

with convulsions you know because of
it's<00:13:28.260> a<00:13:28.500> breach<00:13:28.740> birth<00:13:29.040> and<00:13:29.459> everything<00:13:29.700> and

it's a breach birth and everything and

it's a breach birth and everything and
it<00:13:30.420> was<00:13:30.480> a<00:13:30.540> difficult<00:13:30.779> birth<00:13:31.279> that<00:13:32.279> probably

it was a difficult birth that probably

it was a difficult birth that probably
caused<00:13:33.300> some<00:13:33.420> damage

caused some damage

caused some damage
he<00:13:34.980> survived<00:13:35.459> and<00:13:35.639> Brad<00:13:36.060> is<00:13:36.360> doing<00:13:36.540> well<00:13:36.899> he's

he survived and Brad is doing well he's

he survived and Brad is doing well he's
got<00:13:37.920> a<00:13:38.040> white<00:13:38.160> problem<00:13:38.579> and<00:13:38.940> I<00:13:39.120> worry<00:13:39.300> about

got a white problem and I worry about

got a white problem and I worry about
that<00:13:39.899> because<00:13:40.200> he<00:13:40.500> won't<00:13:40.680> watch<00:13:40.920> what<00:13:41.279> he<00:13:41.519> eats

that because he won't watch what he eats

that because he won't watch what he eats
and<00:13:42.420> I<00:13:42.600> have<00:13:42.720> to<00:13:42.839> work<00:13:42.959> he<00:13:43.320> stays<00:13:43.620> at<00:13:43.740> home<00:13:43.980> and

and I have to work he stays at home and

and I have to work he stays at home and
I<00:13:44.519> can't<00:13:44.760> be<00:13:45.240> with<00:13:45.420> him<00:13:45.600> 24<00:13:45.839> hours<00:13:46.200> a<00:13:46.440> day

I'm a

I'm a
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
string<00:14:05.700> of<00:14:05.880> base<00:14:06.180> and<00:14:07.040> uh

string of base and uh

string of base and uh
where<00:14:10.019> America<00:14:10.880> living<00:14:11.880> is

where America living is

where America living is
China<00:14:13.860> it<00:14:14.279> will<00:14:14.639> eat<00:14:15.000> more<00:14:15.300> healthier<00:14:15.720> so

China it will eat more healthier so

China it will eat more healthier so
trying<00:14:17.160> to<00:14:17.399> just<00:14:17.820> be<00:14:18.000> more<00:14:18.180> healthy<00:14:18.720> out<00:14:19.500> there

trying to just be more healthy out there

trying to just be more healthy out there
and<00:14:19.860> live<00:14:20.040> longer<00:14:20.459> huh<00:14:21.180> because<00:14:21.660> my<00:14:22.200> mom

and live longer huh because my mom

and live longer huh because my mom
uh<00:14:24.060> the<00:14:24.300> 59<00:14:25.019> and<00:14:25.440> my<00:14:25.680> grandmother<00:14:26.040> died<00:14:26.339> right

uh the 59 and my grandmother died right

uh the 59 and my grandmother died right
now

now

now
and<00:14:28.560> this<00:14:28.800> was<00:14:29.579> a<00:14:30.180> old<00:14:30.720> music<00:14:30.899> boxer<00:14:31.620> got<00:14:32.100> from

and this was a old music boxer got from

and this was a old music boxer got from
my<00:14:32.519> mother<00:14:32.700> huh<00:14:33.120> when<00:14:33.480> she<00:14:33.660> died<00:14:33.899> this<00:14:34.320> cat<00:14:35.040> up

my mother huh when she died this cat up

my mother huh when she died this cat up
here<00:14:35.700> she's<00:14:36.540> in<00:14:36.779> heaven<00:14:37.200> and<00:14:37.260> she<00:14:37.500> always

here she's in heaven and she always

here she's in heaven and she always
looked<00:14:38.040> down

looked down

looked down
so

so

so
anyway<00:14:42.199> I<00:14:43.199> grew<00:14:43.380> up<00:14:43.500> with<00:14:43.620> her<00:14:43.800> father<00:14:44.040> but<00:14:44.339> I

anyway I grew up with her father but I

anyway I grew up with her father but I
always<00:14:45.000> have<00:14:45.300> two<00:14:45.480> loving<00:14:45.899> mothers<00:14:46.380> so

[Music]

[Music]
foreign

[Applause]

[Applause]
there<00:15:20.699> was<00:15:20.820> a<00:15:21.000> period<00:15:21.300> of<00:15:21.420> about<00:15:21.600> seven<00:15:21.839> or

there was a period of about seven or

there was a period of about seven or
eight<00:15:22.199> years<00:15:22.380> I<00:15:22.740> was<00:15:22.860> totally<00:15:23.220> estranged<00:15:24.000> from

eight years I was totally estranged from

eight years I was totally estranged from
my<00:15:24.480> children<00:15:24.660> I<00:15:25.620> didn't<00:15:25.800> talk<00:15:26.040> to<00:15:26.220> them<00:15:26.399> I<00:15:26.880> had

my children I didn't talk to them I had

my children I didn't talk to them I had
no<00:15:27.240> contact<00:15:27.480> with<00:15:27.899> them<00:15:28.079> this<00:15:28.740> was<00:15:28.980> due<00:15:29.220> to

no contact with them this was due to

no contact with them this was due to
their<00:15:29.699> mother<00:15:29.940> she<00:15:30.720> didn't<00:15:30.899> want<00:15:31.079> the

their mother she didn't want the

their mother she didn't want the
children<00:15:31.500> to<00:15:31.740> be<00:15:31.920> around<00:15:32.040> me

those were very painful years

those were very painful years
emotionally<00:15:38.279> I<00:15:38.579> was<00:15:38.820> just<00:15:39.060> a<00:15:39.240> wreck

emotionally I was just a wreck

emotionally I was just a wreck
I<00:15:40.860> wanted<00:15:40.980> to<00:15:41.160> see<00:15:41.339> my<00:15:41.579> children

this picture was us

this picture was us
filthy<00:15:49.740> this<00:15:50.399> was<00:15:50.699> it's<00:15:51.000> a<00:15:51.120> little<00:15:51.180> damage

filthy this was it's a little damage

filthy this was it's a little damage
right<00:15:51.720> here<00:15:51.839> but<00:15:52.019> this<00:15:52.199> was<00:15:52.440> us<00:15:52.920> uh<00:15:53.699> 1994

right here but this was us uh 1994

right here but this was us uh 1994
Thanksgiving<00:15:55.019> Day

and

and
um

um

um
it'll<00:16:06.180> always<00:16:06.300> stand<00:16:06.660> out<00:16:06.899> as<00:16:07.199> the<00:16:07.680> most

it'll always stand out as the most

it'll always stand out as the most
important<00:16:08.579> Thanksgiving<00:16:09.120> to<00:16:09.480> me<00:16:09.660> because<00:16:10.320> it

important Thanksgiving to me because it

important Thanksgiving to me because it
was<00:16:10.860> special

was special

was special
um

um

um
you<00:16:15.360> know<00:16:15.540> we<00:16:16.320> hadn't<00:16:16.620> talked<00:16:16.980> for<00:16:17.160> years

it was like rediscovering my fault my

it was like rediscovering my fault my
dad<00:16:23.820> or<00:16:24.060> my<00:16:24.240> father<00:16:24.660> all<00:16:24.899> over<00:16:25.079> again

I had wondered why Jerry wasn't a part

I had wondered why Jerry wasn't a part
of<00:16:35.100> my<00:16:35.220> life<00:16:35.459> I<00:16:36.240> guess<00:16:36.360> part<00:16:36.720> of<00:16:36.959> me<00:16:37.019> was

of my life I guess part of me was

of my life I guess part of me was
wondering<00:16:37.560> whether<00:16:37.800> or<00:16:37.920> not<00:16:37.920> Jerry<00:16:38.399> still

wondering whether or not Jerry still

wondering whether or not Jerry still
loved<00:16:39.060> me

loved me

loved me
and

and

and
um<00:16:41.959> part<00:16:42.959> of<00:16:43.139> it<00:16:43.259> I<00:16:43.440> didn't<00:16:43.560> understand<00:16:43.740> was

um part of it I didn't understand was

um part of it I didn't understand was
that<00:16:44.579> our<00:16:45.000> mama<00:16:45.240> did<00:16:45.540> not<00:16:45.720> want<00:16:45.959> Jerry<00:16:46.380> around

that our mama did not want Jerry around

that our mama did not want Jerry around
once<00:16:48.540> I<00:16:48.660> really<00:16:48.899> got<00:16:49.199> into<00:16:49.440> the

once I really got into the

once I really got into the
cross-dressing<00:16:50.759> and<00:16:51.060> living<00:16:51.300> tea<00:16:51.720> totally<00:16:52.139> as

cross-dressing and living tea totally as

cross-dressing and living tea totally as
female<00:16:52.740> before<00:16:53.339> the<00:16:53.639> surgery<00:16:53.820> then<00:16:54.720> of<00:16:54.959> course

female before the surgery then of course

female before the surgery then of course
that's<00:16:55.380> where<00:16:55.620> the<00:16:55.800> visits<00:16:56.279> were<00:16:56.459> suspended

that you couldn't take time out to see

that you couldn't take time out to see
us<00:17:08.100> you<00:17:08.520> know

well apparently she never didn't explain

well apparently she never didn't explain
yeah

she told me just before she died

she told me just before she died
that<00:17:23.939> she<00:17:24.240> still<00:17:24.480> loves<00:17:25.140> you<00:17:25.260> as<00:17:25.500> a<00:17:25.679> friend<00:17:25.799> did

that she still loves you as a friend did

that she still loves you as a friend did
you<00:17:26.699> know<00:17:26.880> that

you know mama when you weren't there she

you know mama when you weren't there she
had<00:17:43.200> to<00:17:43.380> try<00:17:43.620> to<00:17:43.740> she<00:17:44.039> tried<00:17:44.280> to<00:17:44.400> play<00:17:44.640> mother

had to try to she tried to play mother

had to try to she tried to play mother
and<00:17:45.660> father

and father

and father
which<00:17:47.340> I<00:17:47.580> know<00:17:47.700> wasn't<00:17:47.940> easy<00:17:48.299> on<00:17:48.600> her<00:17:48.780> you<00:17:49.020> know

which I know wasn't easy on her you know

which I know wasn't easy on her you know
yes<00:17:50.039> especially<00:17:50.580> when<00:17:50.820> you<00:17:50.940> weren't<00:17:51.120> there

isn't no way possible way I would ever

isn't no way possible way I would ever
have<00:17:59.520> deserted<00:18:00.059> you<00:18:00.240> I<00:18:00.480> never<00:18:00.720> would<00:18:00.960> have

have deserted you I never would have

have deserted you I never would have
deserted<00:18:01.620> you

deserted you

deserted you
under<00:18:03.059> any<00:18:03.360> circumstances

I don't know I guess that I hadn't

I don't know I guess that I hadn't
called<00:18:32.640> you<00:18:32.940> dead<00:18:33.360> in<00:18:33.900> so<00:18:34.080> long<00:18:34.400> that's<00:18:35.400> what

called you dead in so long that's what

called you dead in so long that's what
was<00:18:35.760> really<00:18:35.940> depressing<00:18:36.419> me<00:18:36.660> because<00:18:36.840> in<00:18:37.320> a

was really depressing me because in a

was really depressing me because in a
way<00:18:37.559> I<00:18:37.799> had<00:18:37.919> missed<00:18:38.340> you<00:18:38.400> like<00:18:38.760> I<00:18:39.240> miss<00:18:39.539> calling

way I had missed you like I miss calling

way I had missed you like I miss calling
you<00:18:40.020> dead

so this is what our new balance is right

so this is what our new balance is right
here

here

here
hopefully<00:18:58.679> next<00:18:58.860> week<00:18:59.039> is<00:18:59.220> going<00:18:59.340> to<00:18:59.460> be<00:18:59.640> good

I own a small mobile locksmith company

I own a small mobile locksmith company
Jerry<00:19:06.660> handles<00:19:07.080> all<00:19:07.260> my<00:19:07.380> accounting

Jerry handles all my accounting

Jerry handles all my accounting
in<00:19:09.780> a<00:19:10.020> lot<00:19:10.080> of<00:19:10.140> ways<00:19:10.320> we<00:19:10.500> may<00:19:10.679> not<00:19:10.799> have<00:19:10.919> the

in a lot of ways we may not have the

in a lot of ways we may not have the
typical<00:19:11.580> parent

typical parent

typical parent
child<00:19:13.679> relationship<00:19:14.600> but<00:19:15.900> um<00:19:15.900> I<00:19:16.320> think<00:19:16.380> it's<00:19:16.500> a

child relationship but um I think it's a

child relationship but um I think it's a
good<00:19:16.799> relationship

I remember the first time hearing

I remember the first time hearing
that

that

that
you<00:19:24.539> know<00:19:24.600> Dad<00:19:24.840> was<00:19:25.140> moving<00:19:25.500> out<00:19:25.679> and<00:19:26.580> I<00:19:26.880> don't

you know Dad was moving out and I don't

you know Dad was moving out and I don't
even<00:19:27.120> remember<00:19:27.299> how<00:19:27.539> old<00:19:27.660> I<00:19:27.840> was<00:19:28.020> I<00:19:28.440> do

even remember how old I was I do

even remember how old I was I do
remember<00:19:28.740> saying<00:19:29.460> that<00:19:29.580> well<00:19:29.880> if<00:19:30.120> that's<00:19:30.240> the

remember saying that well if that's the

remember saying that well if that's the
case<00:19:30.539> I'm<00:19:30.720> gonna<00:19:30.840> go<00:19:31.020> live<00:19:31.200> with<00:19:31.380> Dad<00:19:31.700> and<00:19:32.700> it

case I'm gonna go live with Dad and it

case I'm gonna go live with Dad and it
was<00:19:33.179> explaining<00:19:33.600> to<00:19:33.720> me<00:19:33.840> that<00:19:34.080> that<00:19:34.200> wasn't

was explaining to me that that wasn't

was explaining to me that that wasn't
possible

possible

possible
way<00:19:36.720> cry<00:19:37.140> he<00:19:37.380> took<00:19:37.559> it<00:19:37.679> really<00:19:37.919> hard<00:19:38.160> and

way cry he took it really hard and

way cry he took it really hard and
it<00:19:40.080> it<00:19:40.500> just<00:19:40.980> broke<00:19:41.280> our<00:19:41.460> both<00:19:42.000> our<00:19:42.179> hearts

it it just broke our both our hearts

it it just broke our both our hearts
I<00:19:43.740> was<00:19:43.799> either<00:19:44.039> just<00:19:44.520> getting<00:19:44.700> out<00:19:45.000> of<00:19:45.120> high

I was either just getting out of high

I was either just getting out of high
school<00:19:45.539> maybe<00:19:45.900> it's<00:19:46.140> my<00:19:46.380> last<00:19:46.559> year

school maybe it's my last year

school maybe it's my last year
the<00:19:48.120> first<00:19:48.240> time<00:19:48.480> I'd<00:19:48.660> seen<00:19:48.960> her<00:19:49.080> again

the first time I'd seen her again

the first time I'd seen her again
I<00:19:51.360> worked<00:19:51.539> up<00:19:51.660> at<00:19:51.780> the<00:19:51.900> food<00:19:52.020> court<00:19:52.140> at<00:19:52.380> Metro

I worked up at the food court at Metro

I worked up at the food court at Metro
Center<00:19:52.860> at<00:19:53.100> the<00:19:53.220> pizza<00:19:53.400> place<00:19:53.700> you<00:19:54.240> did<00:19:54.500> and<00:19:55.500> uh

Center at the pizza place you did and uh

Center at the pizza place you did and uh
sabaros<00:19:56.880> I<00:19:57.419> think<00:19:57.539> maybe<00:19:57.720> it<00:19:57.900> was<00:19:58.020> the<00:19:58.200> first

sabaros I think maybe it was the first

sabaros I think maybe it was the first
time<00:19:58.440> I'd<00:19:58.620> ever<00:19:58.740> seen<00:19:58.980> her<00:19:59.220> dressed<00:20:00.120> as<00:20:00.179> a

time I'd ever seen her dressed as a

time I'd ever seen her dressed as a
woman<00:20:00.480> and<00:20:01.320> I<00:20:01.500> have<00:20:01.620> to<00:20:01.740> admit<00:20:01.980> first<00:20:02.340> blade

woman and I have to admit first blade

woman and I have to admit first blade
knives<00:20:02.940> on<00:20:03.120> her<00:20:03.240> after<00:20:03.360> all<00:20:03.600> that<00:20:03.780> time<00:20:03.960> it<00:20:04.320> did

knives on her after all that time it did

knives on her after all that time it did
take<00:20:04.679> me<00:20:04.860> back<00:20:05.039> a<00:20:05.220> little<00:20:05.340> bit<00:20:05.460> I<00:20:05.640> didn't<00:20:05.760> know

take me back a little bit I didn't know

take me back a little bit I didn't know
how<00:20:06.000> to<00:20:06.120> react

how to react

how to react
and<00:20:07.559> I<00:20:07.740> think<00:20:07.919> I<00:20:08.100> think<00:20:08.220> she<00:20:08.340> didn't<00:20:08.520> know

and I think I think she didn't know

and I think I think she didn't know
either<00:20:08.940> it<00:20:09.120> was<00:20:09.299> kind<00:20:09.419> of<00:20:09.539> awkward<00:20:09.900> you<00:20:10.260> know

either it was kind of awkward you know

either it was kind of awkward you know
she<00:20:10.559> came<00:20:10.679> up<00:20:10.860> to<00:20:10.980> the<00:20:11.160> counter<00:20:11.400> and<00:20:11.580> said<00:20:11.760> hey

she came up to the counter and said hey

she came up to the counter and said hey
and

and

and
I<00:20:14.520> said<00:20:14.640> hey<00:20:14.820> back<00:20:15.179> we<00:20:15.780> got<00:20:16.140> the<00:20:16.320> door<00:20:16.500> open<00:20:16.679> but

I said hey back we got the door open but

I said hey back we got the door open but
it<00:20:17.100> was<00:20:17.220> it<00:20:17.400> was<00:20:17.640> it<00:20:17.820> was<00:20:17.940> kind<00:20:18.120> of<00:20:18.179> a<00:20:18.299> strange

it was it was it was kind of a strange

it was it was it was kind of a strange
day

day

day
but<00:20:20.039> I'm<00:20:20.220> glad<00:20:20.400> she<00:20:20.700> did

my kids Nick and Trinity at this point

my kids Nick and Trinity at this point
do<00:20:32.100> not<00:20:32.280> know

do not know

do not know
because<00:20:33.480> they've<00:20:33.840> always<00:20:34.020> called<00:20:34.320> Jerry

because they've always called Jerry

because they've always called Jerry
grandma

how do you tell your 14 year old and

how do you tell your 14 year old and
you're<00:20:39.780> soon<00:20:40.320> to<00:20:40.559> be<00:20:40.620> 13<00:20:40.860> year<00:20:41.160> old<00:20:41.340> daughter

you're soon to be 13 year old daughter

you're soon to be 13 year old daughter
that<00:20:42.120> their<00:20:42.360> grandma<00:20:42.539> is

that their grandma is

that their grandma is
technically<00:20:44.760> speaking<00:20:45.120> in<00:20:45.240> their

technically speaking in their

technically speaking in their
grandfather

grandfather

grandfather
in<00:20:48.059> that<00:20:48.360> your<00:20:49.080> actual<00:20:49.380> grandma<00:20:49.820> has<00:20:50.820> been

in that your actual grandma has been

in that your actual grandma has been
dead<00:20:51.179> for<00:20:51.360> years

I would love to tell them just be honest

I would love to tell them just be honest
with<00:20:57.720> them<00:20:57.900> because<00:20:58.080> I<00:20:58.500> don't<00:20:58.559> want<00:20:58.860> it<00:20:59.039> to<00:20:59.280> be

with them because I don't want it to be

with them because I don't want it to be
like<00:20:59.760> my<00:21:00.000> mom<00:21:00.179> never<00:21:00.419> existed

because Nick has asked about my dad a

because Nick has asked about my dad a
couple<00:21:05.640> times<00:21:05.880> and<00:21:06.299> I've<00:21:06.480> deflected<00:21:07.020> the

couple times and I've deflected the

couple times and I've deflected the
question<00:21:07.380> because<00:21:08.220> I<00:21:08.580> wasn't<00:21:08.700> really<00:21:08.940> sure

question because I wasn't really sure

question because I wasn't really sure
what<00:21:09.600> to<00:21:09.780> say

son you already met my dad you're over

son you already met my dad you're over
there<00:21:14.280> most<00:21:14.520> days

feel anything how do you wrap your head

feel anything how do you wrap your head
around<00:21:19.500> that<00:21:19.799> you<00:21:20.039> know<00:21:20.160> at<00:21:20.940> 14<00:21:21.179> years<00:21:21.480> old

he's come from a long line of challenges

he's come from a long line of challenges
baby

baby

baby
we<00:21:43.860> know<00:21:43.980> there<00:21:44.340> are<00:21:44.580> just<00:21:45.120> almost<00:21:45.360> extinct

we know there are just almost extinct

we know there are just almost extinct
species

I'd like to go to my grade knowing that

I'd like to go to my grade knowing that
you're<00:21:52.980> finally<00:21:53.280> going<00:21:53.460> to<00:21:53.580> get<00:21:53.700> married<00:21:53.940> and

you're finally going to get married and

you're finally going to get married and
have<00:21:54.780> beautiful<00:21:55.440> children

have beautiful children

have beautiful children
just<00:21:57.840> children<00:21:58.260> that<00:21:58.620> will<00:21:58.799> carry<00:21:59.100> on<00:21:59.220> the

just children that will carry on the

just children that will carry on the
family<00:21:59.640> name

yes yes you Nick all right

yes yes you Nick all right
two<00:22:08.100> and<00:22:09.059> my<00:22:09.299> family<00:22:09.740> you're<00:22:10.740> the<00:22:10.980> only<00:22:11.220> Jones

two and my family you're the only Jones

two and my family you're the only Jones
Come<00:22:12.900> on<00:22:13.020> my<00:22:13.440> brothers<00:22:13.620> didn't<00:22:14.039> have<00:22:14.340> any

Come on my brothers didn't have any

Come on my brothers didn't have any
John's<00:22:15.299> grandsons<00:22:16.080> but<00:22:16.380> I<00:22:16.620> did

ready yeah

ready yeah
foreign

it's not comfortable when you're hiding

it's not comfortable when you're hiding
something<00:22:47.580> from<00:22:47.940> people

something from people

something from people
it<00:22:51.000> preys<00:22:51.720> on<00:22:51.900> your<00:22:52.140> mind<00:22:52.320> every<00:22:52.740> day<00:22:53.039> and<00:22:53.760> you

it preys on your mind every day and you

it preys on your mind every day and you
worry

at first I was really scared I thought

at first I was really scared I thought
oh<00:22:59.460> my<00:22:59.640> God<00:22:59.820> you<00:23:00.059> know<00:23:00.240> how<00:23:00.360> the<00:23:00.539> grandchildren

oh my God you know how the grandchildren

oh my God you know how the grandchildren
going<00:23:01.380> to<00:23:01.559> deal<00:23:01.679> with<00:23:01.860> this<00:23:02.159> uh<00:23:02.520> they<00:23:02.820> I'm

going to deal with this uh they I'm

going to deal with this uh they I'm
going<00:23:03.240> to<00:23:03.360> be<00:23:03.539> rejected<00:23:04.200> are<00:23:04.620> they<00:23:04.799> not<00:23:04.919> going

going to be rejected are they not going

going to be rejected are they not going
to<00:23:05.220> want<00:23:05.340> to<00:23:05.460> see<00:23:05.640> me<00:23:05.820> anymore

to want to see me anymore

to want to see me anymore
and<00:23:08.280> I<00:23:08.460> certainly<00:23:08.760> don't<00:23:08.940> want<00:23:09.120> to<00:23:09.240> put<00:23:09.419> an

and I certainly don't want to put an

and I certainly don't want to put an
extra<00:23:09.780> Challenge<00:23:10.140> on<00:23:10.500> them

extra Challenge on them

extra Challenge on them
I<00:23:12.120> know<00:23:12.240> how<00:23:12.480> cruel

I know how cruel

I know how cruel
your<00:23:15.240> peer<00:23:15.539> group<00:23:15.720> can<00:23:16.020> be<00:23:16.200> when<00:23:16.620> you're<00:23:16.860> like

your peer group can be when you're like

your peer group can be when you're like
an<00:23:17.400> adolescent<00:23:17.880> in<00:23:18.000> high<00:23:18.299> school

an adolescent in high school

an adolescent in high school
I<00:23:20.039> went<00:23:20.159> through<00:23:20.340> all<00:23:20.520> that<00:23:20.760> bullying<00:23:21.360> so<00:23:22.080> I

I went through all that bullying so I

I went through all that bullying so I
want<00:23:22.440> to<00:23:22.559> spare<00:23:22.740> them<00:23:22.980> that

you can do whatever you want here it's

you can do whatever you want here it's
basically

I mean I know the homies are down there

I mean I know the homies are down there
right<00:23:53.880> now

I usually uh run around here walk around

I usually uh run around here walk around
here

here

here
I<00:24:01.080> do<00:24:01.200> what<00:24:01.380> I<00:24:01.559> mainly<00:24:02.100> do

I mean it's not the best place but you

I mean it's not the best place but you
make<00:24:12.000> a<00:24:12.120> lot<00:24:12.240> of<00:24:12.360> friends<00:24:12.480> here

I mean I might join the military I don't

I mean I might join the military I don't
know

know

know
it's<00:24:19.020> just<00:24:19.200> I<00:24:19.380> still<00:24:19.740> got<00:24:19.860> to<00:24:19.980> think<00:24:20.039> about<00:24:20.220> it

it's just I still got to think about it

it's just I still got to think about it
some<00:24:20.640> more<00:24:20.820> you<00:24:21.299> know<00:24:21.360> what<00:24:21.480> I'm<00:24:21.539> saying

good morning company said good morning

good morning company said good morning
[Music]

I grew up in Mississippi which they

I grew up in Mississippi which they
called<00:24:46.620> a<00:24:47.039> closed<00:24:47.400> Society<00:24:47.880> at<00:24:48.299> that<00:24:48.480> time

called a closed Society at that time

called a closed Society at that time
we<00:24:50.820> have<00:24:51.000> the<00:24:51.179> segregation<00:24:51.900> system<00:24:52.380> and<00:24:52.860> all

we have the segregation system and all

we have the segregation system and all
of<00:24:53.220> that<00:24:53.400> going<00:24:53.640> on<00:24:54.360> it<00:24:54.900> was<00:24:55.020> a<00:24:55.200> scary<00:24:55.440> time<00:24:55.919> to

of that going on it was a scary time to

of that going on it was a scary time to
be<00:24:57.000> different

be different

be different
[Music]

grew up in a big old farmhouse out in

grew up in a big old farmhouse out in
the<00:25:07.080> country<00:25:07.320> and<00:25:07.919> my<00:25:08.400> dad<00:25:08.580> had<00:25:08.940> cotton<00:25:09.539> fields

the country and my dad had cotton fields

the country and my dad had cotton fields
and<00:25:10.020> corn<00:25:10.260> fields

and corn fields

and corn fields
I<00:25:12.480> had<00:25:12.600> two<00:25:12.840> brothers<00:25:13.159> and<00:25:14.159> three<00:25:14.940> sisters

I had two brothers and three sisters

I had two brothers and three sisters
we<00:25:16.980> didn't<00:25:17.100> have<00:25:17.400> anything

we didn't have anything

we didn't have anything
materially<00:25:19.140> much

materially much

materially much
wonderful

wonderful

wonderful
I<00:25:22.980> was<00:25:23.100> aware<00:25:23.400> very<00:25:23.700> early<00:25:23.880> on<00:25:24.179> that<00:25:24.720> I<00:25:25.020> was

I was aware very early on that I was

I was aware very early on that I was
expected<00:25:25.679> to<00:25:25.799> behave<00:25:26.279> a<00:25:26.520> certain<00:25:26.700> way<00:25:26.880> that

expected to behave a certain way that

expected to behave a certain way that
boys<00:25:27.480> dressed<00:25:28.260> and<00:25:28.380> acted<00:25:28.679> a<00:25:28.860> certain<00:25:29.039> way<00:25:29.159> and

boys dressed and acted a certain way and

boys dressed and acted a certain way and
I<00:25:29.520> knew<00:25:29.700> I<00:25:29.820> couldn't<00:25:30.000> didn't<00:25:30.299> feel

I knew I couldn't didn't feel

I knew I couldn't didn't feel
comfortable<00:25:30.960> with<00:25:31.200> that

comfortable with that

comfortable with that
would<00:25:32.940> go<00:25:33.120> out<00:25:33.299> to<00:25:33.539> the<00:25:33.659> bar<00:25:33.840> and<00:25:34.080> dress<00:25:34.320> up<00:25:34.500> in

would go out to the bar and dress up in

would go out to the bar and dress up in
girls<00:25:34.860> clothes<00:25:35.279> and<00:25:35.640> play<00:25:35.940> by<00:25:36.720> myself

they were distressed about my behavior

they were distressed about my behavior
I<00:25:45.000> would<00:25:45.120> hear<00:25:45.299> them<00:25:45.480> whispering<00:25:46.080> and<00:25:46.260> talking

I would hear them whispering and talking

I would hear them whispering and talking
about<00:25:46.980> it<00:25:47.340> and<00:25:47.700> uh<00:25:48.600> maybe<00:25:49.380> we<00:25:49.620> should<00:25:49.740> apply

about it and uh maybe we should apply

about it and uh maybe we should apply
you<00:25:50.640> know<00:25:50.760> a<00:25:51.059> more<00:25:51.419> stringent<00:25:52.020> punishment<00:25:52.620> and

you know a more stringent punishment and

you know a more stringent punishment and
of<00:25:54.059> course<00:25:54.179> years<00:25:54.960> later<00:25:55.260> I<00:25:55.740> had<00:25:55.860> to<00:25:55.980> tell<00:25:56.100> them

of course years later I had to tell them

of course years later I had to tell them
what<00:25:56.400> was<00:25:56.580> going<00:25:56.760> on

what was going on

what was going on
and<00:25:58.440> it<00:25:58.679> was<00:25:58.860> I<00:25:59.220> told<00:25:59.460> them<00:25:59.640> they<00:25:59.940> were<00:26:00.120> very

and it was I told them they were very

and it was I told them they were very
quiet

quiet

quiet
they<00:26:02.400> didn't<00:26:02.520> say<00:26:02.880> anything<00:26:03.179> really

my father

my father
he<00:26:09.480> was<00:26:09.600> dying<00:26:10.020> and<00:26:10.620> he<00:26:10.919> had<00:26:11.159> cancer

he was dying and he had cancer

he was dying and he had cancer
and<00:26:13.140> I<00:26:13.799> came<00:26:13.980> to<00:26:14.159> see<00:26:14.460> him<00:26:14.760> and<00:26:15.480> I<00:26:15.840> wasn't<00:26:16.020> fully

and I came to see him and I wasn't fully

and I came to see him and I wasn't fully
cross-dressed

cross-dressed

cross-dressed
but<00:26:18.720> my<00:26:19.020> parents<00:26:19.320> had<00:26:19.500> changed<00:26:19.860> a<00:26:20.039> lot<00:26:20.159> and<00:26:20.400> he

but my parents had changed a lot and he

but my parents had changed a lot and he
was<00:26:20.760> just<00:26:20.880> so<00:26:21.120> happy<00:26:21.299> to<00:26:21.600> see<00:26:21.779> me

was just so happy to see me

was just so happy to see me
and<00:26:24.120> um

and um

and um
he<00:26:26.159> said<00:26:26.340> I<00:26:26.880> reached<00:26:27.240> down<00:26:27.360> and<00:26:27.539> kissed<00:26:27.840> him

he said I reached down and kissed him

he said I reached down and kissed him
and<00:26:28.080> I<00:26:28.200> held<00:26:28.440> his<00:26:28.559> hand<00:26:28.740> and<00:26:28.980> he<00:26:29.460> said<00:26:29.580> I'm<00:26:29.760> so

and I held his hand and he said I'm so

and I held his hand and he said I'm so
glad<00:26:30.179> you're<00:26:30.360> here<00:26:30.600> I<00:26:31.260> said<00:26:31.440> nothing<00:26:31.679> else

glad you're here I said nothing else

glad you're here I said nothing else
really<00:26:32.220> matters<00:26:32.580> but<00:26:32.760> that<00:26:33.000> you're<00:26:33.179> here

really matters but that you're here

really matters but that you're here
and

and

and
that's<00:26:37.380> a<00:26:37.679> moment<00:26:37.860> I<00:26:38.159> remember

this is my mommy

this is my mommy
and<00:26:52.020> my<00:26:52.260> daddy

and my daddy

and my daddy
yeah

yeah

yeah
my<00:26:57.059> mother<00:26:57.179> wrote<00:26:57.480> me<00:26:57.659> a<00:26:57.840> letter

my mother wrote me a letter

my mother wrote me a letter
not<00:26:59.640> long<00:26:59.880> before<00:27:00.059> she<00:27:00.360> passed<00:27:00.840> away<00:27:00.960> and<00:27:01.559> then

not long before she passed away and then

not long before she passed away and then
she<00:27:02.279> wrote

she wrote

she wrote
to<00:27:03.960> my<00:27:04.140> darling<00:27:04.559> daughter<00:27:04.860> on<00:27:05.820> her<00:27:06.059> birthday

to my darling daughter on her birthday

to my darling daughter on her birthday
and<00:27:06.900> that<00:27:07.140> meant<00:27:07.380> more<00:27:07.559> to<00:27:07.799> me<00:27:07.919> than<00:27:08.159> anything

and that meant more to me than anything

and that meant more to me than anything
and<00:27:09.240> I<00:27:09.360> still<00:27:09.539> have<00:27:09.840> it<00:27:10.020> and<00:27:10.860> it<00:27:11.039> was<00:27:11.159> very

and I still have it and it was very

and I still have it and it was very
precious

precious

precious
to<00:27:13.080> me

to me

to me
that<00:27:14.580> was<00:27:14.700> like

that was like

that was like
it's<00:27:16.080> okay<00:27:16.460> I<00:27:17.460> accept<00:27:17.640> you<00:27:18.059> as<00:27:18.360> you<00:27:18.600> are<00:27:18.720> that's

it's okay I accept you as you are that's

it's okay I accept you as you are that's
what<00:27:19.559> she<00:27:19.679> was<00:27:19.860> saying

oh

oh
[Music]

thank you

thank you
I<00:28:06.960> thought<00:28:07.140> you<00:28:07.260> were<00:28:07.380> gonna<00:28:07.440> do<00:28:07.620> the<00:28:07.740> husband

he's probably upset wasn't it we haven't

he's probably upset wasn't it we haven't
been<00:28:15.240> up<00:28:15.419> in<00:28:15.600> a<00:28:15.720> while<00:28:15.840> wait<00:28:16.799> a<00:28:17.100> minute

been up in a while wait a minute

been up in a while wait a minute
you<00:28:18.419> didn't<00:28:18.480> get<00:28:18.659> nobody<00:28:18.900> no<00:28:19.140> hug

Trent Trevor's brother that they are

Trent Trevor's brother that they are
fraternal<00:28:30.299> twins

fraternal twins

fraternal twins
Trent<00:28:32.400> is

Trent is

Trent is
schizophrenic<00:28:35.159> with<00:28:35.760> symptoms<00:28:36.120> of<00:28:36.600> autism

schizophrenic with symptoms of autism

schizophrenic with symptoms of autism
his<00:28:39.179> mother<00:28:39.919> managed<00:28:40.919> to<00:28:41.039> get<00:28:41.159> him<00:28:41.340> put<00:28:41.640> into<00:28:41.820> a

his mother managed to get him put into a

his mother managed to get him put into a
home

home

home
at<00:28:44.460> that<00:28:44.640> time<00:28:44.820> we<00:28:45.059> were<00:28:45.240> estranged<00:28:45.840> and<00:28:46.140> there

at that time we were estranged and there

at that time we were estranged and there
was<00:28:47.159> a<00:28:47.279> separation<00:28:47.820> so

was a separation so

was a separation so
in<00:28:49.620> a<00:28:49.740> way<00:28:49.860> it<00:28:50.159> was<00:28:50.279> good<00:28:50.520> news<00:28:50.820> but<00:28:51.299> yet<00:28:51.539> it<00:28:51.720> was

in a way it was good news but yet it was

in a way it was good news but yet it was
distressing<00:28:52.620> for<00:28:53.220> me<00:28:53.520> too

I I see Wendy's over there yeah we're

I I see Wendy's over there yeah we're
just<00:29:00.779> about<00:29:00.900> all<00:29:01.380> right

all right

all right
he<00:29:18.480> loves

don't you Sugar Bone

don't you Sugar Bone
your<00:29:25.260> brother<00:29:25.500> was<00:29:25.860> very<00:29:26.100> sad<00:29:26.399> that<00:29:26.700> he<00:29:26.880> didn't

your brother was very sad that he didn't

your brother was very sad that he didn't
get<00:29:27.240> to<00:29:27.419> come<00:29:27.539> and<00:29:27.720> see<00:29:27.899> you<00:29:28.580> you<00:29:29.580> was<00:29:30.240> crying

get to come and see you you was crying

get to come and see you you was crying
the<00:29:31.020> other<00:29:31.200> night<00:29:31.500> he<00:29:31.980> was<00:29:32.159> very<00:29:32.399> sad<00:29:32.640> about

the other night he was very sad about

the other night he was very sad about
not<00:29:33.179> being<00:29:33.360> able<00:29:33.539> to<00:29:33.600> become<00:29:33.840> a<00:29:34.080> visit<00:29:34.440> to

not being able to become a visit to

not being able to become a visit to
relationship

relationship

relationship
okay

okay

okay
here<00:29:39.779> Trevor<00:29:40.440> had<00:29:40.679> to<00:29:40.980> work<00:29:41.159> yeah<00:29:42.260> he<00:29:43.260> had<00:29:43.620> he

here Trevor had to work yeah he had he

here Trevor had to work yeah he had he
he<00:29:44.820> had<00:29:45.120> no<00:29:45.299> time<00:29:45.659> to<00:29:45.960> come<00:29:46.260> see<00:29:46.620> me<00:29:46.880> and<00:29:47.880> that's

he had no time to come see me and that's

he had no time to come see me and that's
how<00:29:48.360> I<00:29:48.539> said

how I said

how I said
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
well<00:29:53.039> my<00:29:53.700> brother<00:29:54.000> Trevor<00:29:54.720> okay<00:29:55.100> all<00:29:56.100> right

well my brother Trevor okay all right

well my brother Trevor okay all right
he's<00:29:56.460> okay

I told you it was too fast don't eat too

I told you it was too fast don't eat too
fast

fast

fast
oh

oh

oh
brain<00:30:11.460> freeze

brain freeze

brain freeze
you<00:30:13.320> know<00:30:13.440> in<00:30:13.799> the<00:30:13.980> future<00:30:14.100> I'll<00:30:14.520> eat<00:30:14.640> too<00:30:14.880> fast

you know in the future I'll eat too fast

you know in the future I'll eat too fast
not<00:30:16.559> too<00:30:16.799> fast

I go to a ballroom dancing class

I go to a ballroom dancing class
occasionally

occasionally

occasionally
I<00:30:48.299> walk<00:30:48.480> into<00:30:48.720> that<00:30:49.080> place<00:30:49.320> and<00:30:49.620> there's<00:30:49.799> all

I walk into that place and there's all

I walk into that place and there's all
these<00:30:50.279> couples<00:30:50.640> they<00:30:51.419> all<00:30:51.600> have<00:30:51.840> husbands

these couples they all have husbands

these couples they all have husbands
wives<00:30:53.159> boyfriends<00:30:53.940> girlfriends<00:30:54.720> partners

wives boyfriends girlfriends partners

wives boyfriends girlfriends partners
and<00:30:55.919> I'm<00:30:56.220> alone<00:30:56.460> so<00:30:56.820> I<00:30:57.120> stand<00:30:57.360> out<00:30:57.539> from<00:30:57.720> the

and I'm alone so I stand out from the

and I'm alone so I stand out from the
crowd

[Music]

[Music]
I<00:31:04.020> would<00:31:04.200> like<00:31:04.380> to<00:31:04.679> have<00:31:04.980> an<00:31:05.340> affectionate

I would like to have an affectionate

I would like to have an affectionate
intimate<00:31:06.299> relationship<00:31:06.720> with<00:31:06.960> him<00:31:07.140> with<00:31:07.320> a

intimate relationship with him with a

intimate relationship with him with a
man<00:31:07.620> whatever<00:31:08.220> the<00:31:08.640> age

man whatever the age

man whatever the age
I<00:31:10.020> would<00:31:10.080> like<00:31:10.260> to<00:31:10.380> keep<00:31:10.559> the<00:31:10.799> door<00:31:10.980> open<00:31:11.340> and

I would like to keep the door open and

I would like to keep the door open and
the<00:31:12.419> possibility<00:31:12.960> of<00:31:13.440> that

the possibility of that

the possibility of that
[Music]

it's difficult to really find a good

it's difficult to really find a good
solid<00:31:23.760> relationship<00:31:24.539> with<00:31:25.260> with<00:31:25.260> someone<00:31:25.820> and

solid relationship with with someone and

solid relationship with with someone and
then<00:31:27.000> there's<00:31:27.240> always<00:31:27.480> the<00:31:27.899> problem<00:31:28.140> of<00:31:28.740> how

then there's always the problem of how

then there's always the problem of how
far<00:31:29.640> do<00:31:29.820> you<00:31:30.000> go<00:31:30.179> without<00:31:30.480> telling<00:31:31.020> them<00:31:31.260> about

far do you go without telling them about

far do you go without telling them about
your<00:31:32.279> situation<00:31:32.820> Who<00:31:33.240> You<00:31:33.419> Are

your situation Who You Are

your situation Who You Are
and<00:31:35.340> how<00:31:35.580> you<00:31:35.760> arrived<00:31:36.179> at<00:31:36.240> this<00:31:36.480> point<00:31:36.659> and

and how you arrived at this point and

and how you arrived at this point and
very<00:31:39.000> often<00:31:39.299> you're<00:31:39.720> going<00:31:39.899> to<00:31:40.020> get<00:31:40.140> rejection

very often you're going to get rejection

very often you're going to get rejection
a<00:31:41.460> lot<00:31:41.520> of<00:31:41.700> rejection

a lot of rejection

a lot of rejection
and<00:31:44.460> um

of course before the surgery it was more

of course before the surgery it was more
than<00:31:49.320> rejection<00:31:49.799> it<00:31:50.520> was<00:31:50.760> almost<00:31:51.179> the<00:31:51.899> threat

than rejection it was almost the threat

than rejection it was almost the threat
of<00:31:52.440> murder

[Applause]

[Applause]
us<00:32:19.679> with<00:32:20.340> his<00:32:20.880> eyes

[Music]

[Music]
[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause]
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
what<00:32:56.100> is<00:32:56.279> it<00:32:56.399> that<00:32:56.640> God<00:32:56.880> is<00:32:57.320> God<00:32:58.320> is<00:32:58.679> love

what is it that God is God is love

what is it that God is God is love
Brethren<00:33:00.179> one<00:33:00.360> day<00:33:00.539> we're<00:33:00.779> going<00:33:00.960> to<00:33:01.080> be<00:33:01.200> love

Brethren one day we're going to be love

Brethren one day we're going to be love
now<00:33:02.880> you<00:33:03.120> might<00:33:03.240> look<00:33:03.419> at<00:33:03.600> your<00:33:03.840> own

now you might look at your own

now you might look at your own
experience<00:33:04.260> and<00:33:04.440> say<00:33:04.620> I<00:33:04.919> suffer<00:33:05.760> I<00:33:06.360> suffer

experience and say I suffer I suffer

experience and say I suffer I suffer
daily

daily

daily
that<00:33:08.520> you<00:33:08.640> and<00:33:08.820> I<00:33:08.940> we<00:33:09.240> suffer<00:33:09.659> because<00:33:10.080> of<00:33:10.440> sin

that you and I we suffer because of sin

that you and I we suffer because of sin
in<00:33:10.980> our<00:33:11.100> flesh

in our flesh

in our flesh
and<00:33:12.779> I'm<00:33:12.899> going<00:33:13.019> to<00:33:13.140> cause<00:33:13.320> you<00:33:13.559> to<00:33:13.799> remember

and I'm going to cause you to remember

and I'm going to cause you to remember
your<00:33:15.179> own<00:33:15.480> evil<00:33:16.080> ways

your own evil ways

your own evil ways
I'm<00:33:17.460> going<00:33:17.640> to<00:33:17.640> cause<00:33:17.880> you<00:33:18.059> to<00:33:18.240> remember<00:33:18.419> your

I'm going to cause you to remember your

I'm going to cause you to remember your
former<00:33:19.320> ways<00:33:19.799> the<00:33:20.340> things<00:33:20.580> you<00:33:20.820> used<00:33:21.059> to<00:33:21.240> do

former ways the things you used to do

former ways the things you used to do
you<00:33:23.760> know<00:33:23.880> they're<00:33:24.240> contrary<00:33:24.720> to<00:33:24.960> the<00:33:25.140> will<00:33:25.260> of

you know they're contrary to the will of

you know they're contrary to the will of
God<00:33:25.740> and<00:33:26.640> it's<00:33:26.820> going<00:33:27.000> to<00:33:27.179> cause<00:33:27.360> you<00:33:27.659> grief

God and it's going to cause you grief

God and it's going to cause you grief
we<00:33:29.760> shall<00:33:30.000> be<00:33:30.179> delivered

we shall be delivered

we shall be delivered
may<00:33:31.559> God<00:33:31.919> bless<00:33:32.100> you<00:33:32.279> and<00:33:32.460> keep<00:33:32.640> you<00:33:32.760> as<00:33:32.940> my

may God bless you and keep you as my

may God bless you and keep you as my
prayer

[Music]

[Music]
my<00:33:42.120> religious<00:33:42.600> beliefs<00:33:43.080> and<00:33:43.260> my<00:33:43.500> faith<00:33:43.799> is

my religious beliefs and my faith is

my religious beliefs and my faith is
everything

there's people out there that would tell

there's people out there that would tell
me<00:33:48.419> Point<00:33:48.659> Blank<00:33:49.080> you're<00:33:49.260> going<00:33:49.440> to<00:33:49.679> hell

I just say Lord I don't understand it

I just say Lord I don't understand it
I'm<00:33:55.320> gonna<00:33:55.440> leave<00:33:55.620> it<00:33:55.799> in<00:33:55.980> your<00:33:56.159> hands

I'm gonna leave it in your hands

I'm gonna leave it in your hands
and<00:33:57.659> and<00:33:57.720> you're<00:33:58.140> the<00:33:58.320> one<00:33:58.500> who<00:33:58.679> has<00:33:58.860> the<00:33:59.100> final

and and you're the one who has the final

and and you're the one who has the final
answer<00:33:59.779> and<00:34:00.779> that's<00:34:00.899> where<00:34:01.080> I<00:34:01.200> leave<00:34:01.380> it

answer and that's where I leave it

answer and that's where I leave it
[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause]
I<00:34:07.019> see

I'm very very proud of Brad of what he's

I'm very very proud of Brad of what he's
accomplished<00:34:23.700> what<00:34:23.940> he's<00:34:24.119> able<00:34:24.359> to<00:34:24.540> do

he helps me keep house take care of the

he helps me keep house take care of the
yard<00:34:29.839> he<00:34:30.839> is<00:34:31.020> very<00:34:31.320> considerate<00:34:32.540> and

yard he is very considerate and

yard he is very considerate and
hopefully<00:34:34.080> I'm<00:34:34.260> going<00:34:34.440> to<00:34:34.619> see<00:34:34.919> a<00:34:35.280> trump<00:34:35.760> in

hopefully I'm going to see a trump in

hopefully I'm going to see a trump in
the<00:34:36.179> white

the white

the white
foreign

[Music]

[Music]
going<00:35:11.099> to<00:35:11.400> the<00:35:11.579> gym<00:35:11.780> uh

going to the gym uh

going to the gym uh
uh<00:35:14.460> that's<00:35:14.820> again

at the

at the
very<00:35:28.260> very<00:35:28.500> close

but I do believe

but I do believe
yeah

yeah

yeah
11's<00:35:35.339> past<00:35:35.520> days

11's past days

11's past days
do<00:35:37.140> protection

[Music]

[Music]
foreign

foreign

foreign
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
I<00:35:57.720> met<00:35:57.900> her<00:35:58.140> in<00:35:58.500> a<00:35:58.680> beauty<00:35:58.800> shop<00:35:59.099> where<00:35:59.400> I<00:35:59.520> was

I met her in a beauty shop where I was

I met her in a beauty shop where I was
working

she and I developed a strong bond as

she and I developed a strong bond as
friends<00:36:05.520> co-workers

friends co-workers

friends co-workers
and<00:36:08.119> I<00:36:09.119> just<00:36:09.300> adored<00:36:09.780> her

I was obsessed with getting married and

I was obsessed with getting married and
having<00:36:17.160> children<00:36:17.579> and<00:36:18.119> I<00:36:18.300> wanted<00:36:18.480> this

having children and I wanted this

having children and I wanted this
problem<00:36:18.960> to<00:36:19.200> go<00:36:19.380> away<00:36:19.640> and<00:36:20.640> so<00:36:20.820> she<00:36:21.180> became<00:36:22.099> the

problem to go away and so she became the

problem to go away and so she became the
person<00:36:23.280> I<00:36:23.640> would<00:36:23.820> marry

[Music]

[Music]
within<00:36:29.099> a<00:36:29.220> year<00:36:29.339> or<00:36:29.460> two<00:36:29.579> I<00:36:29.820> realized<00:36:30.240> I<00:36:30.540> was

within a year or two I realized I was

within a year or two I realized I was
playing<00:36:30.839> a<00:36:31.079> role<00:36:31.440> that<00:36:32.160> this<00:36:32.339> wasn't<00:36:32.520> who<00:36:32.820> I

playing a role that this wasn't who I

playing a role that this wasn't who I
was

and I wanted to please my parents I

and I wanted to please my parents I
wanted<00:36:37.920> to<00:36:38.160> please<00:36:38.339> Society<00:36:38.880> I<00:36:39.119> wanted<00:36:39.240> to<00:36:39.359> be

wanted to please Society I wanted to be

wanted to please Society I wanted to be
what<00:36:39.660> they<00:36:39.780> wanted<00:36:39.960> me<00:36:40.140> to<00:36:40.260> be

what they wanted me to be

what they wanted me to be
and<00:36:41.460> I<00:36:41.640> couldn't

and I couldn't

and I couldn't
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
and<00:36:45.660> of<00:36:45.839> course<00:36:45.960> it<00:36:46.200> broke<00:36:46.440> her<00:36:46.560> heart<00:36:46.740> when<00:36:47.099> I

and of course it broke her heart when I

and of course it broke her heart when I
explained<00:36:47.820> to<00:36:47.940> her<00:36:48.060> when<00:36:48.240> all<00:36:48.420> this<00:36:48.540> came<00:36:48.780> to<00:36:48.900> a

explained to her when all this came to a

explained to her when all this came to a
head<00:36:49.200> and<00:36:49.440> I<00:36:49.619> told<00:36:49.800> her

head and I told her

head and I told her
it's<00:36:51.660> hard<00:36:51.839> for<00:36:52.020> me<00:36:52.140> to<00:36:52.380> forgive<00:36:52.680> myself<00:36:52.980> for

it's hard for me to forgive myself for

it's hard for me to forgive myself for
it<00:36:53.579> even<00:36:53.760> though<00:36:54.000> I<00:36:54.480> know

it even though I know

it even though I know
and<00:36:57.180> I<00:36:57.359> had<00:36:57.540> to<00:36:57.660> do<00:36:57.780> what<00:36:57.960> I<00:36:58.079> had<00:36:58.200> to<00:36:58.320> do

she just

she just
gave<00:37:07.859> up<00:37:08.040> on<00:37:08.280> herself

gave up on herself

gave up on herself
and<00:37:10.859> she<00:37:11.099> gained<00:37:11.520> hundreds<00:37:12.060> of<00:37:12.119> pounds<00:37:12.480> and

and she gained hundreds of pounds and

and she gained hundreds of pounds and
she<00:37:13.200> was<00:37:13.320> so<00:37:13.560> heavy<00:37:13.920> she<00:37:14.220> could<00:37:14.400> not<00:37:14.579> get<00:37:14.940> up

she was so heavy she could not get up

she was so heavy she could not get up
out<00:37:15.359> of<00:37:15.420> a<00:37:15.599> chair<00:37:15.720> and<00:37:16.680> she<00:37:16.980> literally<00:37:17.400> killed

out of a chair and she literally killed

out of a chair and she literally killed
herself<00:37:18.119> over<00:37:18.540> time

she forced Trevor to drop out of school

she forced Trevor to drop out of school
against<00:37:32.400> my<00:37:32.820> knowledge<00:37:33.240> and<00:37:33.599> forced<00:37:34.200> him<00:37:34.320> to

against my knowledge and forced him to

against my knowledge and forced him to
stay<00:37:34.619> home<00:37:34.800> and<00:37:35.040> take<00:37:35.280> care<00:37:35.520> of<00:37:35.640> her<00:37:35.820> and<00:37:36.000> wait

stay home and take care of her and wait

stay home and take care of her and wait
on<00:37:36.420> her

on her

on her
that<00:37:37.980> did<00:37:38.160> a<00:37:38.339> lot<00:37:38.400> of<00:37:38.520> damage<00:37:38.820> to<00:37:39.119> him<00:37:39.300> and<00:37:39.660> now

that did a lot of damage to him and now

that did a lot of damage to him and now
he<00:37:40.320> has<00:37:40.440> to<00:37:40.619> have<00:37:40.800> somebody<00:37:41.099> he<00:37:41.579> can<00:37:41.700> blame<00:37:42.000> for

he has to have somebody he can blame for

he has to have somebody he can blame for
that<00:37:42.359> he<00:37:42.599> has<00:37:42.780> to<00:37:42.900> have<00:37:43.079> a<00:37:43.320> target<00:37:43.440> for<00:37:43.800> that

that he has to have a target for that

that he has to have a target for that
anger<00:37:44.339> and<00:37:44.640> I'm<00:37:44.880> the<00:37:45.119> available<00:37:45.300> Target

this is where we definitely saw Mama

this is where we definitely saw Mama
like<00:38:02.640> go<00:38:02.940> downhill

like go downhill

like go downhill
I<00:38:05.520> need<00:38:05.700> you<00:38:06.000> more<00:38:06.240> than<00:38:06.359> anybody

I need you more than anybody

I need you more than anybody
yeah

towards the end she just

towards the end she just
her<00:38:16.920> weight<00:38:17.160> and<00:38:17.520> her<00:38:17.940> lack<00:38:18.300> of<00:38:18.420> Mobility

her weight and her lack of Mobility

her weight and her lack of Mobility
it<00:38:19.980> just<00:38:20.099> it<00:38:20.280> just<00:38:20.520> got<00:38:20.760> very<00:38:21.359> very<00:38:21.839> depressing

it just it just got very very depressing

it just it just got very very depressing
yeah<00:38:23.599> especially<00:38:24.599> your<00:38:24.839> watch<00:38:25.140> that<00:38:25.680> happen

yeah especially your watch that happen

yeah especially your watch that happen
to<00:38:26.160> Somebody<00:38:26.280> That<00:38:26.640> You<00:38:26.820> Love

to Somebody That You Love

to Somebody That You Love
I<00:38:29.280> don't<00:38:29.460> know<00:38:29.520> I<00:38:29.700> think<00:38:29.760> at<00:38:29.940> some<00:38:30.060> point<00:38:30.180> she

I don't know I think at some point she

I don't know I think at some point she
just<00:38:30.599> kind<00:38:30.720> of<00:38:30.839> gave<00:38:30.960> up

just kind of gave up

just kind of gave up
thank<00:38:32.760> you

at the time I was just like I need to

at the time I was just like I need to
get<00:38:43.020> away<00:38:43.140> from<00:38:43.380> here<00:38:43.560> I<00:38:43.980> think<00:38:44.160> I<00:38:44.400> felt<00:38:44.579> like

get away from here I think I felt like

get away from here I think I felt like
this<00:38:45.000> place<00:38:45.180> was<00:38:45.420> suffocating<00:38:45.900> me

I know that sounds pretty selfish but

I know that sounds pretty selfish but
so<00:38:51.780> I<00:38:51.960> felt<00:38:52.260> about<00:38:52.320> it<00:38:52.560> and<00:38:53.040> I<00:38:53.220> was<00:38:53.400> left<00:38:53.640> being

so I felt about it and I was left being

so I felt about it and I was left being
forced<00:38:54.599> to<00:38:54.660> take<00:38:54.839> care<00:38:54.960> of<00:38:55.079> my

first of all I didn't demand anything I

first of all I didn't demand anything I
asked<00:39:26.760> you<00:39:26.880> and<00:39:27.420> then<00:39:27.540> you<00:39:27.720> blow<00:39:28.020> up<00:39:28.140> at<00:39:28.320> me

asked you and then you blow up at me

asked you and then you blow up at me
will<00:39:30.000> you<00:39:30.180> stop<00:39:30.420> please<00:39:30.780> and<00:39:31.140> listen

I've heard all this before you told me

I've heard all this before you told me
no<00:39:36.359> you<00:39:37.020> haven't<00:39:37.140> you<00:39:38.040> think<00:39:38.220> everything<00:39:38.640> is

no you haven't you think everything is

no you haven't you think everything is
about<00:39:39.180> you<00:39:39.420> when<00:39:39.660> it<00:39:39.780> stops<00:39:40.079> me<00:39:40.200> about<00:39:40.380> you<00:39:40.619> you

about you when it stops me about you you

about you when it stops me about you you
get<00:39:40.980> pissed<00:39:41.339> off<00:39:41.400> of<00:39:41.579> that<00:39:41.700> oh<00:39:42.060> God

get pissed off of that oh God

get pissed off of that oh God
what<00:39:44.520> you<00:39:44.760> are<00:39:44.940> lacking<00:39:45.720> in<00:39:46.020> Trevor<00:39:46.560> is

what you are lacking in Trevor is

what you are lacking in Trevor is
compassion

compassion

compassion
I'm<00:39:49.020> sorry<00:39:49.200> I<00:39:49.500> am<00:39:49.680> a<00:39:49.920> damaged<00:39:50.339> person<00:39:50.579> I<00:39:50.940> have

I'm sorry I am a damaged person I have

I'm sorry I am a damaged person I have
been<00:39:51.180> to<00:39:51.359> Hell<00:39:51.540> and<00:39:51.780> back<00:39:51.960> I<00:39:52.260> am<00:39:52.380> damaged<00:39:52.920> I<00:39:53.640> try

been to Hell and back I am damaged I try

been to Hell and back I am damaged I try
to<00:39:54.000> understand<00:39:54.180> you<00:39:54.599> I<00:39:54.900> believe<00:39:55.079> you<00:39:55.320> I'm

to understand you I believe you I'm

to understand you I believe you I'm
going<00:39:55.859> to<00:39:55.980> be<00:39:56.099> in<00:39:56.160> a<00:39:56.339> lot<00:39:56.400> of<00:39:56.460> pain<00:39:56.579> to<00:39:56.760> the<00:39:56.940> day

going to be in a lot of pain to the day

going to be in a lot of pain to the day
I<00:39:57.240> draw<00:39:57.420> my<00:39:57.660> last<00:39:57.839> breath<00:39:58.200> I'm<00:39:58.320> gonna<00:39:58.440> be<00:39:58.619> in

I draw my last breath I'm gonna be in

I draw my last breath I'm gonna be in
pain

so you go on you don't do the same thing

so you go on you don't do the same thing
you've<00:40:10.440> done<00:40:10.560> for<00:40:10.859> Generations<00:40:11.339> don't<00:40:12.240> listen

you've done for Generations don't listen

you've done for Generations don't listen
I'm<00:40:14.400> trying<00:40:14.579> to<00:40:14.700> tell<00:40:14.820> you<00:40:14.940> one<00:40:15.119> more<00:40:15.359> Point

I'm trying to tell you one more Point

I'm trying to tell you one more Point
all<00:40:16.079> right<00:40:16.200> what's<00:40:16.440> your<00:40:16.619> point<00:40:17.280> you<00:40:18.000> shut<00:40:18.180> me

all right what's your point you shut me

all right what's your point you shut me
out<00:40:18.660> sometimes<00:40:19.140> when<00:40:19.320> I'm<00:40:19.560> trying<00:40:19.680> I'm

out sometimes when I'm trying I'm

out sometimes when I'm trying I'm
literally<00:40:20.520> at<00:40:20.880> your<00:40:21.060> feet<00:40:21.359> begging<00:40:22.260> you<00:40:22.380> to

literally at your feet begging you to

literally at your feet begging you to
listen<00:40:23.339> to<00:40:23.579> me<00:40:23.820> I'm<00:40:24.599> hurting<00:40:24.960> and<00:40:25.740> you<00:40:26.099> care

listen to me I'm hurting and you care

listen to me I'm hurting and you care
all<00:40:26.520> you<00:40:26.700> care<00:40:26.880> about<00:40:27.060> is<00:40:27.480> what<00:40:27.839> is<00:40:28.020> going<00:40:28.200> on

all you care about is what is going on

all you care about is what is going on
in<00:40:28.500> Jerry's<00:40:29.160> [ __ ]<00:40:29.400> words<00:40:29.579> you<00:40:29.880> don't<00:40:30.000> give

in Jerry's [ __ ] words you don't give

in Jerry's [ __ ] words you don't give
a<00:40:30.359> [ __ ]<00:40:30.540> what's<00:40:30.660> going<00:40:30.900> on<00:40:31.020> mine<00:40:31.520> that's<00:40:32.520> why

a [ __ ] what's going on mine that's why

a [ __ ] what's going on mine that's why
I'm<00:40:32.880> so<00:40:33.180> hungry

oh

oh
I<00:41:11.700> remember<00:41:12.060> my<00:41:12.480> daddy<00:41:12.660> walking<00:41:13.079> out<00:41:13.380> to<00:41:13.560> the

I remember my daddy walking out to the

I remember my daddy walking out to the
watermelon<00:41:14.460> pitch<00:41:14.880> he<00:41:15.540> could<00:41:15.720> always<00:41:15.960> tell<00:41:16.440> if

watermelon pitch he could always tell if

watermelon pitch he could always tell if
he<00:41:17.579> was<00:41:17.760> ripe<00:41:18.119> or<00:41:18.240> not<00:41:18.300> he<00:41:18.660> just

he was ripe or not he just

he was ripe or not he just
you<00:41:20.940> know

mmm

mmm
yes

yes

yes
this<00:41:44.579> is<00:41:44.820> good

[Music]

[Music]
Trevor's<00:41:50.940> going<00:41:51.180> through<00:41:51.420> a<00:41:51.660> lot<00:41:51.780> of<00:41:51.900> things

Trevor's going through a lot of things

Trevor's going through a lot of things
right<00:41:52.440> now<00:41:52.619> still<00:41:53.040> he's<00:41:53.520> still<00:41:53.700> in<00:41:53.880> the

right now still he's still in the

right now still he's still in the
process<00:41:54.420> of<00:41:54.960> sorting<00:41:55.920> out<00:41:56.099> a<00:41:56.339> lot<00:41:56.460> of<00:41:56.579> issues

process of sorting out a lot of issues

process of sorting out a lot of issues
in<00:41:57.240> his<00:41:57.420> life<00:41:57.599> his<00:41:57.900> feelings

in his life his feelings

in his life his feelings
and<00:42:00.420> um<00:42:00.420> so<00:42:01.020> I'm<00:42:01.200> trying<00:42:01.380> to<00:42:01.560> be<00:42:01.740> patient<00:42:02.099> with

and um so I'm trying to be patient with

and um so I'm trying to be patient with
him<00:42:02.579> because<00:42:02.940> of<00:42:03.240> that

him because of that

him because of that
yeah<00:42:04.320> me<00:42:05.160> too

yeah me too

yeah me too
and<00:42:07.740> it's<00:42:08.040> it's<00:42:08.339> very<00:42:08.640> hard<00:42:08.940> because<00:42:09.300> he<00:42:09.660> can

and it's it's very hard because he can

and it's it's very hard because he can
be<00:42:10.079> very<00:42:10.440> very<00:42:10.680> abusive

he's angry a lot of anger

he's angry a lot of anger
he<00:42:17.160> knows<00:42:17.400> we<00:42:17.520> love<00:42:17.760> him

he knows we love him

he knows we love him
that's<00:42:19.980> probably<00:42:20.220> yeah<00:42:21.119> I<00:42:21.780> wasn't<00:42:21.960> there<00:42:22.320> for

that's probably yeah I wasn't there for

that's probably yeah I wasn't there for
him<00:42:22.740> when<00:42:23.040> he<00:42:23.160> was<00:42:23.339> growing<00:42:23.640> up<00:42:23.760> like<00:42:24.119> I<00:42:24.300> was

him when he was growing up like I was

him when he was growing up like I was
supposed<00:42:24.599> to<00:42:24.780> be<00:42:24.960> so<00:42:25.320> he's<00:42:25.619> going<00:42:25.800> to<00:42:25.800> make<00:42:25.980> me

supposed to be so he's going to make me

supposed to be so he's going to make me
pay<00:42:26.280> for<00:42:26.460> it<00:42:26.640> for<00:42:26.880> the<00:42:27.000> rest<00:42:27.060> of<00:42:27.240> my<00:42:27.359> life

this is a very toxic situation and

this is a very toxic situation and
hopefully<00:42:37.740> it's<00:42:37.859> going<00:42:38.040> to<00:42:38.099> get<00:42:38.220> better<00:42:38.400> but

hopefully it's going to get better but

hopefully it's going to get better but
I<00:42:40.320> don't<00:42:40.859> know

foreign

foreign
[Music]

I was already at the point where I was

I was already at the point where I was
really<00:43:43.980> depressed<00:43:44.579> really<00:43:45.060> mad

really depressed really mad

really depressed really mad
and<00:43:47.460> I<00:43:47.579> knew<00:43:47.760> what<00:43:47.880> was<00:43:48.060> wrong

and I knew what was wrong

and I knew what was wrong
it<00:43:49.440> just<00:43:49.560> you<00:43:49.859> know<00:43:49.920> got<00:43:50.160> worse<00:43:50.520> and<00:43:50.640> worse

it's hard to describe it's like

it's hard to describe it's like
you<00:43:55.980> know<00:43:56.160> how<00:43:56.220> when<00:43:56.400> you<00:43:56.460> blow<00:43:56.700> a<00:43:56.880> balloon<00:43:57.180> up

you know how when you blow a balloon up

you know how when you blow a balloon up
and<00:43:57.540> you<00:43:57.720> air<00:43:57.960> you<00:43:58.319> know<00:43:58.380> it<00:43:58.500> just<00:43:58.619> gets<00:43:58.859> bigger

and you air you know it just gets bigger

and you air you know it just gets bigger
and<00:43:59.099> bigger<00:43:59.339> and<00:43:59.400> you<00:43:59.520> know<00:43:59.640> eventually<00:43:59.940> if

and bigger and you know eventually if

and bigger and you know eventually if
you<00:44:00.240> just<00:44:00.359> keep<00:44:00.480> on<00:44:00.660> blowing<00:44:01.020> it's<00:44:01.140> just<00:44:01.319> gonna

you just keep on blowing it's just gonna

you just keep on blowing it's just gonna
pop<00:44:01.680> well<00:44:01.980> that's<00:44:02.099> what<00:44:02.280> I<00:44:02.339> felt<00:44:02.520> like<00:44:02.579> inside

pop well that's what I felt like inside

pop well that's what I felt like inside
like<00:44:03.060> all<00:44:03.240> this<00:44:03.359> pressure<00:44:03.599> is<00:44:03.839> about<00:44:04.020> to

like all this pressure is about to

like all this pressure is about to
explode

explode

explode
until<00:44:06.000> finally<00:44:06.420> I<00:44:06.720> said<00:44:06.900> you<00:44:07.200> know<00:44:07.319> what<00:44:07.500> Jerry

until finally I said you know what Jerry

until finally I said you know what Jerry
something<00:44:08.280> I<00:44:08.520> got<00:44:08.640> to<00:44:08.819> tell<00:44:09.000> you

something I got to tell you

something I got to tell you
the<00:44:10.740> truth<00:44:10.980> is

the truth is

the truth is
I<00:44:12.780> am<00:44:12.960> gay<00:44:13.200> I<00:44:13.560> don't<00:44:13.680> care<00:44:13.920> I<00:44:14.400> don't<00:44:14.460> care

I am gay I don't care I don't care

I am gay I don't care I don't care
really<00:44:14.819> you<00:44:15.240> know<00:44:15.359> some<00:44:15.660> people<00:44:15.900> are<00:44:16.079> going<00:44:16.319> to

really you know some people are going to

really you know some people are going to
accept<00:44:16.680> it<00:44:16.920> some<00:44:17.220> people<00:44:17.339> are<00:44:17.520> not

accept it some people are not

accept it some people are not
but

but

but
um

why I didn't come out years before

why I didn't come out years before
because<00:44:28.319> my<00:44:28.740> mother<00:44:28.859> was<00:44:29.160> a<00:44:29.339> Jehovah's

because my mother was a Jehovah's

because my mother was a Jehovah's
Witness

Witness

Witness
and<00:44:31.819> she<00:44:32.819> talked<00:44:33.300> down<00:44:33.900> on<00:44:34.319> homosexuality<00:44:35.160> it

and she talked down on homosexuality it

and she talked down on homosexuality it
was<00:44:35.700> a<00:44:35.880> sin<00:44:36.119> it<00:44:36.420> was<00:44:36.599> wrong

was a sin it was wrong

was a sin it was wrong
God<00:44:38.579> frowns<00:44:39.119> on<00:44:39.300> that<00:44:39.480> that<00:44:39.720> kind<00:44:39.900> of<00:44:40.020> stuff

God frowns on that that kind of stuff

God frowns on that that kind of stuff
and<00:44:42.119> um<00:44:42.119> that's<00:44:42.420> why<00:44:42.599> I<00:44:42.839> never<00:44:43.020> could

and um that's why I never could

and um that's why I never could
you<00:44:45.180> know

if I start crying I'll never stop

if I start crying I'll never stop
so<00:45:32.040> I<00:45:32.220> have<00:45:32.339> to<00:45:32.520> keep<00:45:32.700> the<00:45:33.000> damn<00:45:33.240> under<00:45:34.140> control

so I have to keep the damn under control

so I have to keep the damn under control
I've<00:45:36.839> shed<00:45:37.140> enough<00:45:37.380> tears<00:45:38.040> in<00:45:38.220> my<00:45:38.400> lifetime<00:45:38.819> to

I've shed enough tears in my lifetime to

I've shed enough tears in my lifetime to
fill<00:45:39.240> a<00:45:39.480> notion<00:45:39.780> anyway

better

better
okay

okay

okay
that's<00:45:47.220> my<00:45:47.579> old<00:45:47.760> sister

every time there's a death in the family

every time there's a death in the family
either<00:46:33.480> I'm<00:46:33.720> not<00:46:33.960> told<00:46:34.200> about<00:46:34.560> it<00:46:34.920> so<00:46:35.579> I<00:46:35.760> won't

either I'm not told about it so I won't

either I'm not told about it so I won't
show<00:46:36.060> up<00:46:36.240> at<00:46:36.420> the<00:46:36.540> funeral<00:46:36.780> or<00:46:37.500> either<00:46:37.740> if<00:46:38.040> I<00:46:38.220> do

show up at the funeral or either if I do

show up at the funeral or either if I do
show<00:46:38.700> up

when it comes it comes to time to

when it comes it comes to time to
mention<00:46:52.560> to<00:46:52.920> read<00:46:53.160> off<00:46:53.339> the<00:46:53.579> list<00:46:53.760> of

mention to read off the list of

mention to read off the list of
survivors

and I'm sitting there holding my breath

and I'm sitting there holding my breath
or<00:46:58.980> how<00:46:59.280> oh<00:47:00.240> maybe<00:47:00.720> they're<00:47:00.900> going<00:47:01.079> to<00:47:01.200> get<00:47:01.260> it

or how oh maybe they're going to get it

or how oh maybe they're going to get it
right<00:47:01.500> this<00:47:01.859> time<00:47:02.099> and<00:47:03.060> yesterday<00:47:03.440> at<00:47:04.440> my

right this time and yesterday at my

right this time and yesterday at my
sister's<00:47:05.040> funeral<00:47:05.220> he's<00:47:05.760> reading<00:47:06.180> out<00:47:06.359> the

sister's funeral he's reading out the

sister's funeral he's reading out the
list<00:47:06.720> of<00:47:06.960> survivors<00:47:07.440> she's<00:47:07.800> survived<00:47:08.460> by<00:47:08.640> her

list of survivors she's survived by her

list of survivors she's survived by her
children<00:47:09.119> and<00:47:09.599> he<00:47:09.780> names<00:47:09.960> them<00:47:10.520> and<00:47:11.520> lots<00:47:11.940> of

children and he names them and lots of

children and he names them and lots of
grandchildren<00:47:12.720> and

grandchildren and

grandchildren and
also<00:47:14.339> she<00:47:14.700> survived<00:47:15.619> by<00:47:16.619> her<00:47:17.520> brothers

also she survived by her brothers

also she survived by her brothers
Brothers

Brothers

Brothers
Roger<00:47:22.859> Jones<00:47:23.220> and<00:47:23.940> Jerry<00:47:24.839> Jones<00:47:25.200> of<00:47:25.680> Pearl

Roger Jones and Jerry Jones of Pearl

Roger Jones and Jerry Jones of Pearl
Mississippi

they

they
could<00:47:33.720> not<00:47:33.900> say

could not say

could not say
her<00:47:35.760> sister<00:47:36.000> Jerry<00:47:36.839> Jones

some in the family went to him and told

some in the family went to him and told
him<00:47:42.420> to<00:47:42.960> to<00:47:43.500> make<00:47:44.160> that<00:47:44.400> stuff<00:47:44.520> I<00:47:44.700> already<00:47:44.880> love

him to to make that stuff I already love

him to to make that stuff I already love
this<00:47:45.180> episode

this episode

this episode
because<00:47:46.980> it's<00:47:47.280> disrespectful<00:47:48.060> it's

because it's disrespectful it's

because it's disrespectful it's
patronizing<00:47:49.200> is<00:47:49.500> it's<00:47:49.740> degrading<00:47:50.339> it's

patronizing is it's degrading it's

patronizing is it's degrading it's
humiliating<00:47:51.060> that's<00:47:51.480> why

humiliating that's why

humiliating that's why
when<00:47:53.880> we<00:47:54.060> first<00:47:54.240> got<00:47:54.420> back<00:47:54.660> together<00:47:54.839> it<00:47:55.319> took

when we first got back together it took

when we first got back together it took
us<00:47:55.619> a<00:47:55.859> while<00:47:55.980> to<00:47:56.220> learn<00:47:56.400> how<00:47:56.579> to<00:47:56.760> use<00:47:56.880> the<00:47:57.119> word

us a while to learn how to use the word

us a while to learn how to use the word
she<00:47:57.540> instead<00:47:57.960> of<00:47:58.020> heat

she instead of heat

she instead of heat
and<00:47:59.640> maybe<00:48:00.000> they<00:48:00.359> don't<00:48:00.480> want<00:48:00.660> to<00:48:00.780> give<00:48:00.960> up

and maybe they don't want to give up

and maybe they don't want to give up
thinking<00:48:01.500> of<00:48:01.619> you<00:48:01.740> as<00:48:01.859> their<00:48:01.980> brother<00:48:02.220> oh<00:48:03.060> dear

thinking of you as their brother oh dear

thinking of you as their brother oh dear
what<00:48:04.440> a<00:48:04.680> loss

my little sister got arrested her soul

my little sister got arrested her soul
she<00:48:16.740> saw<00:48:16.920> me<00:48:17.160> as<00:48:17.400> her<00:48:17.640> sister

she saw me as her sister

she saw me as her sister
we<00:48:19.560> had<00:48:19.680> no<00:48:19.859> problems<00:48:20.280> with<00:48:20.520> it

breaks my heart I just wish the rest of

breaks my heart I just wish the rest of
my<00:48:27.300> extended<00:48:27.960> family

my extended family

my extended family
could<00:48:29.940> do<00:48:30.180> that<00:48:30.420> I<00:48:31.079> wish<00:48:31.260> they<00:48:31.440> could<00:48:31.619> give<00:48:31.800> me

could do that I wish they could give me

could do that I wish they could give me
that<00:48:32.220> kind<00:48:32.400> of<00:48:32.579> respect

of investigative efforts of those uh

of investigative efforts of those uh
reacting<00:49:13.380> with<00:49:13.560> those<00:49:13.680> photos<00:49:13.859> have<00:49:14.579> exposed

reacting with those photos have exposed

reacting with those photos have exposed
that<00:49:15.119> it<00:49:15.300> was<00:49:15.480> really<00:49:15.720> a<00:49:16.079> sloppy<00:49:16.859> uh<00:49:17.099> Photoshop

that it was really a sloppy uh Photoshop

that it was really a sloppy uh Photoshop
job

I used to be like I didn't give a crap

I used to be like I didn't give a crap
about<00:49:28.079> this<00:49:28.440> family

about this family

about this family
but<00:49:29.880> now<00:49:30.060> kind<00:49:30.359> of

but now kind of

but now kind of
I<00:49:32.220> want<00:49:32.579> to<00:49:32.640> just<00:49:32.760> decided<00:49:33.119> to<00:49:33.240> be<00:49:33.300> nice

I would always wonder why he would

I would always wonder why he would
always<00:49:38.099> call<00:49:38.520> grandma<00:49:39.000> Jerry<00:49:39.780> and<00:49:40.319> not<00:49:40.500> Mom

always call grandma Jerry and not Mom

always call grandma Jerry and not Mom
like<00:49:42.060> that's<00:49:42.300> weird<00:49:42.599> so<00:49:43.160> she<00:49:44.160> was<00:49:44.339> my<00:49:44.460> mama

like that's weird so she was my mama

like that's weird so she was my mama
called<00:49:45.000> my<00:49:45.180> mom<00:49:45.300> all<00:49:45.480> the<00:49:45.660> time

called my mom all the time

called my mom all the time
and<00:49:47.640> why<00:49:47.760> even<00:49:48.000> uncle<00:49:48.240> Trevor<00:49:48.839> would<00:49:49.079> call<00:49:49.319> her

and why even uncle Trevor would call her

and why even uncle Trevor would call her
Jerry<00:49:49.920> not<00:49:50.280> Mom

I always wondered what happened to

I always wondered what happened to
Grandma's<00:49:57.359> Grandpa

Grandma's Grandpa

Grandma's Grandpa
and<00:49:59.460> Grandma<00:50:00.000> was<00:50:00.540> Jerry<00:50:01.200> you<00:50:01.619> know<00:50:01.740> would<00:50:02.280> say

and Grandma was Jerry you know would say

and Grandma was Jerry you know would say
that<00:50:02.700> she<00:50:02.819> got<00:50:03.000> rid<00:50:03.180> of<00:50:03.300> Grandpa<00:50:03.720> a<00:50:03.900> long<00:50:04.020> time

that she got rid of Grandpa a long time

that she got rid of Grandpa a long time
ago

my grandson has begun to ask his father

my grandson has begun to ask his father
who<00:50:21.540> was<00:50:21.720> your<00:50:21.900> dad

who was your dad

who was your dad
because<00:50:24.119> you<00:50:24.420> never<00:50:24.599> talk<00:50:24.839> about<00:50:25.079> it

because you never talk about it

because you never talk about it
and<00:50:27.119> training<00:50:27.599> my<00:50:27.900> granddaughter<00:50:28.200> she's<00:50:28.859> very

and training my granddaughter she's very

and training my granddaughter she's very
quiet<00:50:29.400> she<00:50:30.060> keeps<00:50:30.359> her<00:50:30.480> thoughts<00:50:30.839> to<00:50:31.020> herself

that's what terrifies me I'm going to

that's what terrifies me I'm going to
grow<00:50:50.400> into<00:50:50.700> this<00:50:51.059> very<00:50:51.420> old

grow into this very old

grow into this very old
decrepit<00:50:53.700> person<00:50:54.180> my<00:50:55.020> grandchildren<00:50:55.740> won't

decrepit person my grandchildren won't

decrepit person my grandchildren won't
speak<00:50:56.339> to<00:50:56.579> me

speak to me

speak to me
and<00:50:58.440> that's<00:50:58.980> a<00:50:59.220> terrible<00:50:59.640> thought

I would do anything to prevent that from

I would do anything to prevent that from
happening<00:51:06.720> but<00:51:06.960> I<00:51:07.079> don't<00:51:07.200> know<00:51:07.260> what<00:51:07.440> I<00:51:07.619> can<00:51:07.740> do

um

um
so<00:51:19.920> I<00:51:20.099> don't<00:51:20.220> know

what the hell

what the hell
[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause]
[Music]

no in the back of my head that my

no in the back of my head that my
bedroom<00:51:51.119> is<00:51:51.359> a<00:51:51.540> complete<00:51:51.780> disaster

bedroom is a complete disaster

bedroom is a complete disaster
impresses<00:51:53.520> me<00:51:53.700> because<00:51:53.880> it's<00:51:54.180> like<00:51:54.420> My

impresses me because it's like My

impresses me because it's like My
Sanctuary

when I came out

when I came out
I<00:52:10.260> hadn't<00:52:10.500> been<00:52:10.559> with<00:52:10.740> anyone<00:52:11.099> male<00:52:11.520> or<00:52:11.700> female

I hadn't been with anyone male or female

I hadn't been with anyone male or female
I<00:52:13.380> was<00:52:13.559> 36<00:52:13.859> years<00:52:13.980> old<00:52:14.160> I<00:52:14.280> didn't<00:52:14.400> want<00:52:14.520> to<00:52:14.640> be<00:52:14.760> a

I was 36 years old I didn't want to be a

I was 36 years old I didn't want to be a
40<00:52:15.000> year<00:52:15.240> old<00:52:15.300> virgin<00:52:15.540> like<00:52:15.900> in<00:52:16.020> the<00:52:16.200> movie

40 year old virgin like in the movie

40 year old virgin like in the movie
where<00:52:16.559> the<00:52:16.680> guy<00:52:16.800> waited<00:52:17.220> until<00:52:17.280> I<00:52:17.460> was<00:52:17.579> like<00:52:17.640> 40

where the guy waited until I was like 40

where the guy waited until I was like 40
to<00:52:18.000> lose<00:52:18.180> his<00:52:18.359> virginity

to lose his virginity

to lose his virginity
I<00:52:20.280> don't<00:52:20.339> want<00:52:20.460> to<00:52:20.579> be<00:52:20.640> a<00:52:20.700> laughing<00:52:21.059> joke<00:52:21.359> but

I don't want to be a laughing joke but

I don't want to be a laughing joke but
also<00:52:22.579> and<00:52:23.579> it<00:52:23.700> was<00:52:23.819> also<00:52:24.000> the<00:52:24.180> fact<00:52:24.300> that<00:52:24.540> I

also and it was also the fact that I

also and it was also the fact that I
finally<00:52:25.140> lost<00:52:25.319> my<00:52:25.559> virginity

finally lost my virginity

finally lost my virginity
but<00:52:27.900> I<00:52:28.200> finally<00:52:28.440> figured<00:52:28.680> out<00:52:28.800> this<00:52:29.040> is<00:52:29.160> who<00:52:29.339> I

but I finally figured out this is who I

but I finally figured out this is who I
am

am

am
it's<00:52:31.140> you<00:52:31.440> know<00:52:31.559> it's<00:52:31.920> something<00:52:32.099> I<00:52:32.339> had

it's you know it's something I had

it's you know it's something I had
denied<00:52:32.760> and<00:52:33.000> I<00:52:33.119> was<00:52:33.240> finally<00:52:33.420> able<00:52:33.660> to<00:52:33.780> finally

denied and I was finally able to finally

denied and I was finally able to finally
come<00:52:34.319> to<00:52:34.500> terms<00:52:34.859> with<00:52:34.980> it<00:52:35.160> and

come to terms with it and

come to terms with it and
the<00:52:36.480> truth<00:52:36.599> can<00:52:36.900> be<00:52:37.020> something<00:52:37.260> that<00:52:37.559> can

the truth can be something that can

the truth can be something that can
either

either

either
set<00:52:39.000> you<00:52:39.240> free<00:52:39.420> or<00:52:39.660> can<00:52:39.900> destroy<00:52:40.260> you

I haven't pulled this thing out in a

I haven't pulled this thing out in a
while

this is a Mother's Day card I gave to

this is a Mother's Day card I gave to
Mama<00:52:55.140> on<00:52:55.619> Mother's<00:52:55.980> Day<00:52:56.040> said<00:52:56.460> thanks<00:52:56.700> for

Mama on Mother's Day said thanks for

Mama on Mother's Day said thanks for
being<00:52:57.000> a<00:52:57.240> loving<00:52:57.540> compassionate

being a loving compassionate

being a loving compassionate
understanding<00:52:58.740> mother<00:52:58.980> and<00:52:59.339> that's<00:52:59.460> why<00:52:59.700> we

understanding mother and that's why we

understanding mother and that's why we
think<00:53:00.059> you're<00:53:00.300> the<00:53:00.480> greatest<00:53:00.599> mother<00:53:00.900> in<00:53:01.140> the

think you're the greatest mother in the

think you're the greatest mother in the
world

going to her graveside and finally

going to her graveside and finally
admitting<00:53:13.440> to<00:53:13.559> Mama<00:53:13.740> that<00:53:14.099> I'm<00:53:14.339> gay

admitting to Mama that I'm gay

admitting to Mama that I'm gay
in<00:53:15.660> a<00:53:15.839> wood<00:53:16.020> would<00:53:16.440> a<00:53:16.680> way<00:53:16.800> help<00:53:17.160> me<00:53:17.400> to<00:53:17.760> get<00:53:18.000> to

in a wood would a way help me to get to

in a wood would a way help me to get to
let<00:53:18.599> go<00:53:18.780> of<00:53:18.960> certain<00:53:19.260> things

[Music]

[Music]
foreign

foreign

foreign
[Music]

you know I promised you that that one

you know I promised you that that one
day<00:54:21.300> I<00:54:21.480> would<00:54:21.599> get<00:54:21.780> married<00:54:21.960> and<00:54:22.740> I<00:54:23.339> would<00:54:23.460> have

day I would get married and I would have

day I would get married and I would have
kids

I know you taught me that homosexuality

I know you taught me that homosexuality
was<00:54:54.839> a<00:54:55.020> sin<00:54:55.260> and<00:54:55.619> God<00:54:56.220> frowned<00:54:56.819> upon<00:54:57.059> them<00:54:57.240> but

was a sin and God frowned upon them but

was a sin and God frowned upon them but
I'm<00:54:58.079> not<00:54:58.380> sorry<00:54:58.680> for<00:54:58.980> coming<00:54:59.220> out

maybe we'll see each other on the other

maybe we'll see each other on the other
side<00:55:07.260> one<00:55:07.500> day<00:55:07.680> okay

to come out to her because it would have

to come out to her because it would have
been<00:55:41.940> hard<00:55:42.119> for<00:55:42.420> her

been hard for her

been hard for her
very<00:55:43.619> hard

very hard

very hard
after<00:55:45.420> what<00:55:45.780> happened<00:55:46.020> between<00:55:46.260> him<00:55:46.740> and<00:55:46.920> her

after what happened between him and her

after what happened between him and her
myself<00:55:48.180> and<00:55:48.839> her<00:55:49.319> in<00:55:49.500> the<00:55:49.920> marriage<00:55:50.099> and<00:55:50.339> all

myself and her in the marriage and all

myself and her in the marriage and all
it<00:55:51.300> would<00:55:51.420> have<00:55:51.480> been<00:55:51.660> you<00:55:51.900> had<00:55:52.140> been<00:55:52.319> so<00:55:52.920> too

it would have been you had been so too

it would have been you had been so too
much<00:55:53.520> for<00:55:54.059> her<00:55:54.240> to<00:55:54.359> take<00:55:54.540> I<00:55:54.780> think

much for her to take I think

much for her to take I think
I<00:55:56.280> like<00:55:56.460> to<00:55:56.579> think<00:55:56.700> she's<00:55:56.940> in<00:55:57.180> a<00:55:57.300> better<00:55:57.420> place

I like to think she's in a better place

I like to think she's in a better place
now<00:55:57.960> where<00:55:58.260> she<00:55:58.559> has<00:55:58.740> perfect<00:55:59.400> understanding

now where she has perfect understanding

now where she has perfect understanding
she's<00:56:00.540> been<00:56:00.780> down<00:56:00.960> with<00:56:01.260> the<00:56:01.680> Heavenly

she's been down with the Heavenly

she's been down with the Heavenly
understanding<00:56:02.760> of<00:56:03.059> things<00:56:03.300> and<00:56:04.020> that<00:56:04.140> she<00:56:04.380> can

understanding of things and that she can

understanding of things and that she can
understand<00:56:04.740> now<00:56:05.339> but<00:56:06.119> she<00:56:06.359> couldn't<00:56:06.480> have

understand now but she couldn't have

understand now but she couldn't have
here

Bad Touch

Bad Touch
so<00:57:11.760> you<00:57:12.660> get<00:57:12.839> to<00:57:13.020> feel<00:57:13.200> comfortable<00:57:13.680> in<00:57:13.920> your

so you get to feel comfortable in your

so you get to feel comfortable in your
own<00:57:14.220> skin

such a gay pride uh bracelet

such a gay pride uh bracelet
and<00:57:23.880> uh

and uh

and uh
this<00:57:25.680> one<00:57:26.460> advice<00:57:26.760> I've<00:57:27.119> expressed<00:57:27.420> myself<00:57:27.720> so

I had a dream my wife has married

I had a dream my wife has married
and<00:57:35.880> I'm<00:57:36.300> trying<00:57:36.480> to<00:57:36.780> have<00:57:37.140> had<00:57:37.559> a<00:57:37.859> child

and I'm trying to have had a child

and I'm trying to have had a child
um

teacher no more it's actually perfect

teacher no more it's actually perfect
and

and

and
and

I always wonder what my life had been

I always wonder what my life had been
like<00:57:52.140> if<00:57:52.380> I<00:57:52.619> was<00:57:52.680> normal<00:57:53.339> it<00:57:53.940> didn't<00:57:54.180> have<00:57:54.420> a

like if I was normal it didn't have a

like if I was normal it didn't have a
promise<00:57:54.960> I<00:57:55.200> had

it's our nature to have

it's our nature to have
a<00:58:03.619> companion<00:58:04.619> all<00:58:05.339> right

I I I'm not gonna try I'm not gonna give

I I I'm not gonna try I'm not gonna give
up

I'm doing just fine

I'm doing just fine
I<00:58:30.359> went<00:58:30.480> out<00:58:30.660> with<00:58:30.839> the<00:58:31.079> uh<00:58:31.260> the<00:58:31.619> drag<00:58:31.740> queen

I went out with the uh the drag queen

I went out with the uh the drag queen
dude<00:58:32.280> last<00:58:32.460> night

dude last night

dude last night
it<00:58:34.980> went<00:58:35.220> wonderful<00:58:35.579> actually

yeah I'm still trying to wake up but it

yeah I'm still trying to wake up but it
was<00:58:40.799> worth<00:58:40.920> it<00:58:41.099> so<00:58:41.220> I<00:58:41.400> ain't<00:58:41.460> worried

was worth it so I ain't worried

was worth it so I ain't worried
complaining

my whole life has changed I actually

my whole life has changed I actually
have<00:58:51.000> a<00:58:51.180> life<00:58:51.359> and<00:58:51.900> I'm<00:58:52.680> dating<00:58:53.040> and<00:58:53.280> all<00:58:53.400> that

have a life and I'm dating and all that

have a life and I'm dating and all that
kind<00:58:53.700> of<00:58:53.819> stuff<00:58:54.000> and<00:58:54.480> and<00:58:54.960> I'm<00:58:55.140> mostly

kind of stuff and and I'm mostly

kind of stuff and and I'm mostly
enjoying<00:58:55.799> all<00:58:55.859> this<00:58:56.040> attention<00:58:56.400> you<00:58:56.819> know<00:58:56.940> I

enjoying all this attention you know I

enjoying all this attention you know I
mean

going up or partly because I was you

going up or partly because I was you
know<00:59:03.240> the<00:59:03.420> way<00:59:03.599> I<00:59:03.720> was<00:59:03.839> treated<00:59:04.020> when<00:59:04.260> I<00:59:04.440> was<00:59:04.500> in

know the way I was treated when I was in

know the way I was treated when I was in
school

school

school
which<00:59:06.420> now<00:59:06.599> I<00:59:06.780> can<00:59:06.900> probably<00:59:07.020> see<00:59:07.260> maybe<00:59:07.619> they

which now I can probably see maybe they

which now I can probably see maybe they
could<00:59:08.520> since<00:59:08.700> I<00:59:08.880> was<00:59:09.000> gay<00:59:09.119> and<00:59:09.359> maybe<00:59:09.480> had

could since I was gay and maybe had

could since I was gay and maybe had
something<00:59:09.839> to<00:59:10.020> do<00:59:10.079> with<00:59:10.200> it<00:59:10.440> you<00:59:10.980> know<00:59:11.099> why<00:59:11.760> I

something to do with it you know why I

something to do with it you know why I
was<00:59:11.940> picked<00:59:12.299> on<00:59:12.359> but<00:59:13.200> it<00:59:13.440> made<00:59:13.619> me<00:59:13.740> feel<00:59:13.920> bad

was picked on but it made me feel bad

was picked on but it made me feel bad
about<00:59:14.280> myself<00:59:14.520> but<00:59:14.880> now

about myself but now

about myself but now
among<00:59:18.119> some<00:59:18.359> dating<00:59:18.660> sites<00:59:19.020> and<00:59:19.200> stuff<00:59:19.380> or

among some dating sites and stuff or

among some dating sites and stuff or
actually<00:59:20.400> tell<00:59:20.700> me<00:59:20.880> I'm<00:59:21.240> handsome<00:59:21.720> I'm<00:59:21.900> cute

actually tell me I'm handsome I'm cute

actually tell me I'm handsome I'm cute
and<00:59:22.920> I'm<00:59:23.160> pretty<00:59:23.339> I'm<00:59:23.880> sexy<00:59:24.420> and<00:59:24.660> whatever<00:59:24.900> and

and I'm pretty I'm sexy and whatever and

and I'm pretty I'm sexy and whatever and
I'm<00:59:25.920> like<00:59:26.099> well<00:59:26.280> thank<00:59:26.460> you<00:59:26.640> very<00:59:26.760> much<00:59:26.880> you

I'm like well thank you very much you

I'm like well thank you very much you
know

know

know
after<00:59:28.799> what<00:59:29.099> happened<00:59:29.339> to<00:59:29.640> me<00:59:29.819> I<00:59:30.119> would<00:59:30.240> rather

after what happened to me I would rather

after what happened to me I would rather
they<00:59:30.960> have<00:59:31.319> not<00:59:31.619> had<00:59:31.920> to<00:59:32.040> deal<00:59:32.400> with<00:59:32.640> any<00:59:32.819> of

they have not had to deal with any of

they have not had to deal with any of
this<00:59:33.240> being<00:59:33.660> different<00:59:34.020> in<00:59:34.740> any<00:59:34.859> way

this being different in any way

this being different in any way
so<00:59:36.420> it's<00:59:36.599> not<00:59:36.839> easy<00:59:37.079> but<00:59:37.500> well<00:59:37.740> you<00:59:37.980> know<00:59:38.099> I

so it's not easy but well you know I

so it's not easy but well you know I
didn't<00:59:38.339> ask<00:59:38.579> to<00:59:38.819> be<00:59:38.940> this<00:59:39.059> way<00:59:39.240> hmm

didn't ask to be this way hmm

didn't ask to be this way hmm
did<00:59:41.460> you<00:59:41.520> know<00:59:41.700> I<00:59:41.880> fought<00:59:42.059> this<00:59:42.299> for<00:59:42.480> years

did you know I fought this for years

did you know I fought this for years
oh<00:59:43.980> yeah

he came out and started all his new life

he came out and started all his new life
at<00:59:56.160> the<00:59:56.339> same<00:59:56.579> age<00:59:56.880> that<00:59:57.359> I<00:59:57.599> was<00:59:57.780> when<00:59:58.200> I

at the same age that I was when I

at the same age that I was when I
started<00:59:58.680> mine

started mine

started mine
foreign

foreign

foreign
to<01:00:03.839> death<01:00:04.020> I<01:00:04.319> was<01:00:04.500> not<01:00:04.680> going<01:00:04.920> to<01:00:05.099> accept<01:00:05.339> him

to death I was not going to accept him

to death I was not going to accept him
and<01:00:07.740> I<01:00:08.099> couldn't<01:00:08.220> believe<01:00:08.520> it<01:00:08.819> I<01:00:09.720> said<01:00:09.900> sweetie

and I couldn't believe it I said sweetie

and I couldn't believe it I said sweetie
why<01:00:12.059> wouldn't<01:00:12.240> I<01:00:12.420> not<01:00:12.660> be<01:00:12.900> there<01:00:13.079> for<01:00:13.319> you<01:00:13.500> you

why wouldn't I not be there for you you

why wouldn't I not be there for you you
were<01:00:13.859> there<01:00:14.040> for<01:00:14.339> me

hello how are you doing

hello how are you doing
all right doing<01:00:45.180> good

drawing man I didn't know you had that

drawing man I didn't know you had that
kind<01:01:06.960> of<01:01:07.140> Tower

kind of Tower

kind of Tower
he<01:01:09.359> got<01:01:09.660> a<01:01:09.900> hat<01:01:10.140> in<01:01:10.559> her<01:01:10.859> earring<01:01:11.339> yeah<01:01:11.700> my

he got a hat in her earring yeah my

he got a hat in her earring yeah my
stash<01:01:12.780> should<01:01:13.079> be<01:01:13.319> right<01:01:13.740> here

okay

okay
hooray<01:01:21.000> all<01:01:21.420> right<01:01:21.420> we<01:01:21.720> need<01:01:21.900> to<01:01:22.020> take<01:01:22.079> some

hooray all right we need to take some

hooray all right we need to take some
pictures

sweet

sweet
okay

put your other arm down

put your other arm down
there<01:01:45.839> you<01:01:46.079> go

there you go

there you go
okay

if I was a multi-millionaire I'd take

if I was a multi-millionaire I'd take
him<01:02:00.839> out<01:02:01.020> of<01:02:01.140> this<01:02:01.260> place<01:02:01.440> so<01:02:01.740> fast<01:02:01.980> and<01:02:02.819> I

him out of this place so fast and I

him out of this place so fast and I
would<01:02:03.180> hire<01:02:03.420> somebody<01:02:03.900> to<01:02:04.859> personally<01:02:05.160> take

would hire somebody to personally take

would hire somebody to personally take
care<01:02:05.760> of<01:02:05.880> him<01:02:06.180> for<01:02:06.480> me<01:02:06.720> and<01:02:07.500> give<01:02:07.740> him<01:02:07.920> his

care of him for me and give him his

care of him for me and give him his
medication<01:02:08.579> and<01:02:08.940> everything<01:02:09.180> else

medication and everything else

medication and everything else
I<01:02:11.579> can't<01:02:11.700> manage<01:02:12.119> it<01:02:12.299> myself<01:02:12.480> at<01:02:12.900> home<01:02:13.079> if<01:02:13.260> I

I can't manage it myself at home if I

I can't manage it myself at home if I
could<01:02:13.619> I<01:02:13.920> would<01:02:14.099> have<01:02:14.400> it<01:02:14.700> at<01:02:14.819> home

hello hello

hello hello
Chris<01:02:35.640> hello

Chris hello

Chris hello
okay

Chris is a really wonderful friend I met

Chris is a really wonderful friend I met
him<01:02:51.000> through<01:02:51.299> a<01:02:51.480> dating<01:02:51.720> site

and

and
they<01:02:58.559> don't<01:02:58.680> pick<01:02:58.859> up<01:02:58.980> a<01:02:59.160> phone<01:02:59.280> and<01:02:59.520> call

they don't pick up a phone and call

they don't pick up a phone and call
people<01:02:59.940> anymore<01:03:00.240> they<01:03:00.720> tweet<01:03:01.020> them<01:03:01.140> and<01:03:01.319> twerk

people anymore they tweet them and twerk

people anymore they tweet them and twerk
them<01:03:01.740> and<01:03:01.980> Google<01:03:02.640> them<01:03:02.940> and

you don't keep me warm tonight aren't

you don't keep me warm tonight aren't
you

you

you
oh<01:03:19.799> yes<01:03:20.099> nice

oh there we go

oh there we go
now

with the head of house and the two kids

with the head of house and the two kids
and<01:03:56.099> all<01:03:56.220> that<01:03:56.400> stuff<01:03:56.579> I'll<01:03:56.880> probably<01:03:57.119> still

and all that stuff I'll probably still

and all that stuff I'll probably still
get<01:03:57.599> a<01:03:57.720> refund

get a refund

get a refund
for<01:04:00.000> an<01:04:00.240> income<01:04:00.480> credit<01:04:00.660> and<01:04:00.900> all<01:04:01.020> that<01:04:01.140> other

for an income credit and all that other

for an income credit and all that other
stuff<01:04:01.380> yeah<01:04:01.680> you're<01:04:01.859> still<01:04:02.040> around<01:04:02.280> the

stuff yeah you're still around the

stuff yeah you're still around the
poverty<01:04:03.059> line<01:04:03.299> see<01:04:03.660> what<01:04:03.839> I<01:04:04.020> mean<01:04:04.140> so<01:04:04.319> you're

poverty line see what I mean so you're

poverty line see what I mean so you're
not<01:04:04.619> going<01:04:04.740> to<01:04:04.859> shouldn't<01:04:05.220> have<01:04:05.339> to<01:04:05.460> pay

not going to shouldn't have to pay

not going to shouldn't have to pay
anything

anything

anything
we<01:04:07.859> just<01:04:08.040> about<01:04:08.280> got<01:04:08.579> ourselves<01:04:08.940> out<01:04:09.180> of<01:04:09.359> the

we just about got ourselves out of the

we just about got ourselves out of the
hole<01:04:09.780> that<01:04:10.020> yeah<01:04:10.319> we<01:04:10.740> were<01:04:10.920> we<01:04:11.280> were<01:04:11.460> in<01:04:11.640> so

hole that yeah we were we were in so

hole that yeah we were we were in so
it's<01:04:12.839> about<01:04:13.319> uh<01:04:14.099> back<01:04:14.339> on<01:04:14.520> top<01:04:14.700> again<01:04:15.200> oh<01:04:16.200> I've

it's about uh back on top again oh I've

it's about uh back on top again oh I've
heard<01:04:16.619> people<01:04:16.859> that<01:04:17.220> know<01:04:17.400> you<01:04:17.579> say<01:04:17.880> such<01:04:18.119> and

heard people that know you say such and

heard people that know you say such and
the<01:04:18.660> kind<01:04:18.900> and<01:04:19.140> nice<01:04:19.380> things<01:04:19.680> about<01:04:19.920> you<01:04:20.280> how

the kind and nice things about you how

the kind and nice things about you how
how<01:04:21.119> hard<01:04:21.660> you<01:04:21.839> were

how hard you were

how hard you were
for<01:04:24.420> a<01:04:24.660> time<01:04:24.720> there<01:04:24.900> I<01:04:25.020> thought<01:04:25.140> I<01:04:25.260> was<01:04:25.380> going

for a time there I thought I was going

for a time there I thought I was going
to<01:04:25.500> have<01:04:25.619> to<01:04:25.740> go<01:04:25.859> get<01:04:26.040> something<01:04:26.220> for<01:04:26.520> anxiety

to have to go get something for anxiety

to have to go get something for anxiety
but<01:04:27.599> her<01:04:28.020> faith<01:04:28.319> in<01:04:28.440> me<01:04:28.680> has<01:04:28.920> gotten<01:04:29.280> me

but her faith in me has gotten me

but her faith in me has gotten me
through<01:04:29.700> a<01:04:29.880> lot<01:04:30.000> of<01:04:30.119> this

[Music]

[Music]
my<01:04:58.140> kids<01:04:58.319> well<01:04:59.280> they<01:04:59.460> figured<01:04:59.700> out<01:04:59.819> that<01:05:00.180> my

my kids well they figured out that my

my kids well they figured out that my
mom<01:05:01.140> had<01:05:01.380> died<01:05:01.500> just<01:05:01.799> because<01:05:01.920> of<01:05:02.099> what<01:05:02.280> the

mom had died just because of what the

mom had died just because of what the
herd<01:05:02.700> so

herd so

herd so
they<01:05:04.020> were<01:05:04.200> like<01:05:04.319> well<01:05:04.740> who<01:05:05.339> is<01:05:05.520> Jerry<01:05:05.819> and<01:05:06.240> how

they were like well who is Jerry and how

they were like well who is Jerry and how
is<01:05:06.599> she<01:05:06.720> really<01:05:06.900> like<01:05:07.260> well<01:05:07.440> Jerry's<01:05:08.220> my<01:05:08.400> dad

is she really like well Jerry's my dad

is she really like well Jerry's my dad
it<01:05:10.559> was<01:05:10.740> a<01:05:10.859> big<01:05:10.920> weight<01:05:11.040> off<01:05:11.280> my<01:05:11.460> shoulders

it was a big weight off my shoulders

it was a big weight off my shoulders
because<01:05:12.059> I<01:05:12.540> wasn't<01:05:12.599> sure<01:05:12.839> how<01:05:13.079> I<01:05:13.200> was<01:05:13.319> going<01:05:13.440> to

because I wasn't sure how I was going to

because I wasn't sure how I was going to
approach<01:05:13.799> it

approach it

approach it
they<01:05:15.119> probably<01:05:15.299> could<01:05:15.540> have<01:05:15.660> handled<01:05:16.020> this

they probably could have handled this

they probably could have handled this
earlier<01:05:16.559> I<01:05:17.160> think<01:05:17.280> maybe<01:05:17.640> it<01:05:17.940> was<01:05:18.059> me<01:05:18.240> that

earlier I think maybe it was me that

earlier I think maybe it was me that
couldn't<01:05:18.660> handle<01:05:18.960> it

Jerry's not perfect but neither am I

Jerry's not perfect but neither am I
she<01:05:25.200> she's<01:05:25.440> been<01:05:25.740> there<01:05:25.920> and<01:05:26.579> sometimes<01:05:27.420> you

she she's been there and sometimes you

she she's been there and sometimes you
know<01:05:27.780> that<01:05:27.960> that<01:05:28.140> means<01:05:28.440> more<01:05:28.619> than<01:05:28.799> anything

they're great kids I'm very blessed

they're great kids I'm very blessed
they're<01:05:36.780> very<01:05:37.020> smart<01:05:37.260> but<01:05:38.579> um<01:05:38.579> my<01:05:39.059> family's

they're very smart but um my family's

they're very smart but um my family's
everything

everything

everything
I<01:05:40.980> mean<01:05:41.160> there's<01:05:41.280> no<01:05:41.460> other<01:05:41.579> way<01:05:41.819> to<01:05:41.940> put<01:05:42.059> it

I mean there's no other way to put it

I mean there's no other way to put it
they<01:05:42.420> are<01:05:42.540> everything

it's shocking

it's shocking
when<01:06:01.140> I<01:06:01.319> first<01:06:01.440> heard<01:06:01.619> I'm<01:06:01.859> like<01:06:02.040> oh<01:06:02.579> my<01:06:02.819> gosh

when I first heard I'm like oh my gosh

when I first heard I'm like oh my gosh
my<01:06:03.540> grandma

my grandma

my grandma
was<01:06:05.819> a<01:06:06.059> man

it kind of missed my whole Viewpoint up

it kind of missed my whole Viewpoint up
family<01:06:12.240> I<01:06:12.599> was<01:06:12.780> like

family I was like

family I was like
if<01:06:14.520> Grandma<01:06:14.880> is<01:06:15.359> my<01:06:15.720> mom's<01:06:16.079> dad

so she she that means she had to marry

so she she that means she had to marry
somebody<01:06:22.260> to<01:06:22.859> have<01:06:23.040> my<01:06:23.400> dad

I would like to talk to them because I

I would like to talk to them because I
don't<01:06:28.020> know<01:06:28.140> much<01:06:28.319> about<01:06:28.440> my<01:06:28.740> grandma

probably helped they'll probably give me

probably helped they'll probably give me
some<01:06:33.900> answers

I just hope

I just hope
I<01:07:32.579> hope<01:07:32.640> he<01:07:32.880> doesn't<01:07:33.119> turn<01:07:34.020> against<01:07:34.260> me<01:07:34.740> or

I hope he doesn't turn against me or

I hope he doesn't turn against me or
this<01:07:35.400> doesn't<01:07:35.579> interfere<01:07:36.059> with<01:07:36.240> our

this doesn't interfere with our

this doesn't interfere with our
relationship<01:07:36.900> in<01:07:37.260> any<01:07:37.380> way<01:07:37.559> I<01:07:37.680> hope<01:07:37.799> you

relationship in any way I hope you

relationship in any way I hope you
'll be<01:07:39.240> he's<01:07:39.539> able<01:07:39.900> to<01:07:40.020> absorb<01:07:40.500> it<01:07:40.619> and<01:07:40.799> deal

'll be he's able to absorb it and deal

'll be he's able to absorb it and deal
with<01:07:41.220> it

there we go that's uh that's Jerry

there we go that's uh that's Jerry
that's

that's

that's
1973.

1973.

1973.
hey<01:07:58.980> that's<01:07:59.220> April<01:07:59.760> so<01:07:59.940> I<01:08:00.240> was<01:08:00.420> like<01:08:00.780> not<01:08:01.140> quite

hey that's April so I was like not quite

hey that's April so I was like not quite
a<01:08:01.500> month<01:08:01.680> old<01:08:01.920> so<01:08:02.700> that<01:08:02.940> was<01:08:03.059> Grandma<01:08:03.180> when<01:08:03.420> she

a month old so that was Grandma when she

a month old so that was Grandma when she
was<01:08:03.660> a<01:08:03.780> mine<01:08:04.319> yes<01:08:04.799> yeah

there's mom and that was if that's March

there's mom and that was if that's March
5th<01:08:17.520> 73<01:08:18.000> that's<01:08:18.299> when<01:08:18.540> she's<01:08:18.779> still<01:08:18.900> pregnant

5th 73 that's when she's still pregnant

5th 73 that's when she's still pregnant
with<01:08:19.440> me<01:08:19.620> yeah<01:08:20.100> she's<01:08:20.400> pregnant<01:08:20.640> with<01:08:21.060> your

with me yeah she's pregnant with your

with me yeah she's pregnant with your
dad<01:08:21.420> right<01:08:21.719> there<01:08:21.960> you<01:08:22.199> can<01:08:22.380> see<01:08:22.620> she's

dad right there you can see she's

dad right there you can see she's
pregnant<01:08:23.339> with<01:08:23.640> him

that's me as a baby

that's me as a baby
14<01:08:30.779> days<01:08:31.080> old<01:08:31.380> yeah

14 days old yeah

14 days old yeah
ah<01:08:35.040> now<01:08:35.160> that<01:08:35.400> that's<01:08:35.699> what<01:08:36.000> a<01:08:36.179> teenager<01:08:36.900> yeah

ah now that that's what a teenager yeah

ah now that that's what a teenager yeah
it's<01:08:37.739> a<01:08:37.980> teenager<01:08:38.460> small<01:08:38.819> woman<01:08:39.000> was<01:08:39.179> a

it's a teenager small woman was a

it's a teenager small woman was a
teenager

teenager

teenager
she<01:08:41.279> was<01:08:41.460> not<01:08:41.699> like<01:08:42.000> my<01:08:42.239> best<01:08:42.359> friend<01:08:42.600> we

she was not like my best friend we

she was not like my best friend we
worked<01:08:43.199> in<01:08:43.259> a<01:08:43.440> beauty<01:08:43.560> shop

worked in a beauty shop

worked in a beauty shop
we<01:08:45.179> like<01:08:45.420> girlfriends<01:08:46.140> this<01:08:46.560> is<01:08:46.679> probably

we like girlfriends this is probably

we like girlfriends this is probably
what<01:08:47.100> about<01:08:47.219> the<01:08:47.520> time<01:08:47.640> y'all<01:08:47.940> were<01:08:48.120> married

what about the time y'all were married

what about the time y'all were married
or<01:08:48.660> yeah

and that was uh me and her with Webb

and that was uh me and her with Webb
before<01:08:58.739> any<01:08:59.040> of<01:08:59.160> the<01:08:59.339> kids<01:08:59.460> were<01:08:59.759> born

before any of the kids were born

before any of the kids were born
wow<01:09:01.259> check<01:09:01.440> that<01:09:01.679> hair<01:09:01.920> out<01:09:02.160> this<01:09:02.819> is<01:09:02.940> the

wow check that hair out this is the

wow check that hair out this is the
style<01:09:03.420> of<01:09:03.600> identity<01:09:04.080> yeah<01:09:04.440> this<01:09:04.739> was<01:09:04.859> this<01:09:05.100> in

style of identity yeah this was this in

style of identity yeah this was this in
1965<01:09:06.299> we<01:09:06.719> was

1965 we was

1965 we was
engaged<01:09:09.060> to<01:09:09.359> be<01:09:09.540> married

now that's uh

now that's uh
it's<01:09:15.060> a<01:09:15.179> good<01:09:15.420> picture<01:09:15.660> of<01:09:16.199> me<01:09:16.859> you<01:09:17.160> Brad<01:09:17.520> yeah

it's a good picture of me you Brad yeah

it's a good picture of me you Brad yeah
um

that's a headstone at my mom's grave

that's a headstone at my mom's grave
where's<01:09:29.100> the<01:09:29.339> grave<01:09:29.520> at<01:09:29.759> it's<01:09:30.120> a<01:09:30.359> White<01:09:30.839> Sands

where's the grave at it's a White Sands

where's the grave at it's a White Sands
he<01:09:31.859> was<01:09:32.600> 59<01:09:33.600> years<01:09:33.900> old<01:09:34.140> 59.

I haven't seen those pictures

I haven't seen those pictures
well<01:09:53.640> I<01:09:53.819> think<01:09:53.940> I<01:09:54.179> have<01:09:54.360> when<01:09:54.600> I<01:09:54.719> was<01:09:54.840> little

well I think I have when I was little

well I think I have when I was little
but<01:09:55.140> I<01:09:55.320> didn't<01:09:55.380> know<01:09:55.500> who<01:09:55.679> that<01:09:55.800> person<01:09:56.040> was<01:09:56.820> I

but I didn't know who that person was I

but I didn't know who that person was I
thought<01:09:57.179> that<01:09:57.360> was<01:09:57.480> like<01:09:57.600> an<01:09:57.719> uncle<01:09:57.900> or

thought that was like an uncle or

thought that was like an uncle or
something<01:09:58.440> but<01:09:58.739> now<01:09:58.860> to<01:09:59.160> know<01:09:59.340> that<01:09:59.520> it's<01:09:59.699> my

something but now to know that it's my

something but now to know that it's my
grandma

like the only well she she's my favorite

like the only well she she's my favorite
grandma<01:10:08.340> in<01:10:09.060> a<01:10:09.239> sense

foreign

foreign
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause]
family<01:10:53.400> church<01:10:53.699> with<01:10:54.300> your<01:10:54.480> presence<01:10:54.780> your

family church with your presence your

family church with your presence your
prayers<01:10:55.440> and<01:10:55.620> your<01:10:55.739> blessings<01:10:56.340> yes

prayers and your blessings yes

prayers and your blessings yes
do<01:10:58.980> you<01:10:59.219> as<01:10:59.640> Brad<01:10:59.940> and<01:11:00.239> Trevor's<01:11:00.659> new<01:11:00.780> church

do you as Brad and Trevor's new church

do you as Brad and Trevor's new church
family<01:11:01.140> wish<01:11:01.500> to<01:11:01.679> love<01:11:01.980> them<01:11:02.219> in<01:11:02.699> Christ<01:11:02.940> Jesus

family wish to love them in Christ Jesus

family wish to love them in Christ Jesus
and<01:11:03.600> will<01:11:03.780> you<01:11:03.960> accept<01:11:04.140> them<01:11:04.440> where<01:11:04.860> they<01:11:05.040> are

and will you accept them where they are

and will you accept them where they are
and<01:11:05.880> pray<01:11:06.060> for<01:11:06.239> them

and pray for them

and pray for them
I<01:11:09.239> as<01:11:09.480> your<01:11:09.600> pastor<01:11:09.840> really<01:11:10.020> the<01:11:10.199> best<01:11:10.320> that<01:11:10.500> I

I as your pastor really the best that I

I as your pastor really the best that I
can<01:11:10.800> to<01:11:11.100> listen<01:11:11.400> to<01:11:11.640> you<01:11:11.820> to<01:11:12.300> pray<01:11:12.480> for<01:11:12.719> you<01:11:12.840> to

can to listen to you to pray for you to

can to listen to you to pray for you to
challenge<01:11:13.320> you<01:11:13.620> and<01:11:13.920> to<01:11:14.100> feed<01:11:14.340> you<01:11:14.580> the<01:11:14.880> word

challenge you and to feed you the word

challenge you and to feed you the word
of<01:11:15.300> God<01:11:15.480> then<01:11:15.840> fulfill<01:11:16.260> my<01:11:16.500> heart

of God then fulfill my heart

of God then fulfill my heart
thank<01:11:19.140> you

thank you

thank you
[Music]

spread around

spread around
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
mayonnaise

mayonnaise

mayonnaise
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
to<01:11:51.360> everyone

Safe Harbor has taught me that you know

Safe Harbor has taught me that you know
God<01:11:59.760> has<01:12:00.000> a<01:12:00.179> plan<01:12:00.300> for<01:12:00.540> all<01:12:00.780> of<01:12:00.900> us

God has a plan for all of us

God has a plan for all of us
and<01:12:02.520> he<01:12:02.699> made<01:12:02.940> me<01:12:03.179> the<01:12:03.659> way<01:12:03.780> I<01:12:04.020> am<01:12:04.140> for<01:12:04.500> a<01:12:04.620> reason

how's it feeling on the official numbers

how's it feeling on the official numbers
now<01:12:24.420> oh<01:12:24.780> it<01:12:25.020> feels<01:12:25.320> good

[Music]

[Music]
foreign

two more hopefully they'll cover all

two more hopefully they'll cover all
that<01:13:14.280> up

that up

that up
they'll<01:13:15.840> grow<01:13:16.080> and<01:13:16.320> spread<01:13:16.679> out<01:13:16.800> and<01:13:16.980> we'll

they'll grow and spread out and we'll

they'll grow and spread out and we'll
have<01:13:17.280> tomatoes

have tomatoes

have tomatoes
tomatoes

I'm secure enough for myself and I don't

I'm secure enough for myself and I don't
need<01:13:26.520> attention

need attention

need attention
at<01:13:28.380> all

you know it's nice to get it but I'd

you know it's nice to get it but I'd
like<01:13:33.480> to<01:13:33.719> have<01:13:34.440> the<01:13:34.860> right<01:13:35.040> kind<01:13:35.400> of<01:13:35.580> attention

like to have the right kind of attention

like to have the right kind of attention
positive<01:13:37.800> attention

went to this new Mexican restaurant out

went to this new Mexican restaurant out
here's<01:13:44.520> some<01:13:44.640> real<01:13:44.820> nice<01:13:45.060> restaurants<01:13:45.300> and

here's some real nice restaurants and

here's some real nice restaurants and
this<01:13:46.440> waiter<01:13:46.800> was<01:13:46.980> he<01:13:47.340> was<01:13:47.520> just<01:13:47.699> you<01:13:48.600> know

this waiter was he was just you know

this waiter was he was just you know
winking<01:13:49.739> and<01:13:49.920> flirting<01:13:50.520> and<01:13:50.880> whoever<01:13:51.780> got

winking and flirting and whoever got

winking and flirting and whoever got
pissed<01:13:52.380> off<01:13:52.440> because<01:13:52.679> he<01:13:52.860> wasn't<01:13:52.980> paying<01:13:53.280> him

pissed off because he wasn't paying him

pissed off because he wasn't paying him
no<01:13:53.580> I<01:13:53.940> wasn't<01:13:54.060> jealous<01:13:54.480> I<01:13:54.780> mean<01:13:54.900> he<01:13:55.080> was<01:13:55.199> scared

no I wasn't jealous I mean he was scared

no I wasn't jealous I mean he was scared
I'm<01:13:55.620> not<01:13:55.739> gonna<01:13:55.980> give<01:13:56.219> him<01:13:56.340> that<01:13:56.699> you

I'm not gonna give him that you

I'm not gonna give him that you
acknowledge<01:13:57.900> everyone<01:13:58.199> there<01:13:58.560> I'm<01:13:59.159> an<01:13:59.340> old

acknowledge everyone there I'm an old

acknowledge everyone there I'm an old
lady<01:13:59.640> I<01:14:00.000> don't<01:14:00.179> have<01:14:00.420> any<01:14:00.719> sex<01:14:01.080> life<01:14:01.320> Left<01:14:01.679> My

lady I don't have any sex life Left My

lady I don't have any sex life Left My
Romance<01:14:02.520> is<01:14:02.820> gone<01:14:03.179> give<01:14:03.780> me<01:14:03.960> a<01:14:04.140> little<01:14:04.260> break

Romance is gone give me a little break

Romance is gone give me a little break
here<01:14:04.920> I<01:14:05.400> need<01:14:05.580> all<01:14:05.760> the<01:14:05.940> flirting<01:14:06.360> I<01:14:06.600> can<01:14:06.719> get

here I need all the flirting I can get

here I need all the flirting I can get
he<01:14:08.460> was<01:14:08.580> probably<01:14:08.820> just<01:14:09.060> patronizing<01:14:09.840> you<01:14:10.080> bet

he was probably just patronizing you bet

he was probably just patronizing you bet
it's<01:14:10.440> fine<01:14:10.620> I<01:14:10.800> need<01:14:10.920> to<01:14:11.040> be<01:14:11.159> patronized<01:14:12.000> in

it's fine I need to be patronized in

it's fine I need to be patronized in
that<01:14:12.960> particular<01:14:13.320> way<01:14:13.620> okay

intervention what about this Alabama

intervention what about this Alabama
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
that's<01:14:36.719> what<01:14:37.020> she's<01:14:37.260> interested

that's what she's interested

that's what she's interested
[Music]

God here's a song you might like then

God here's a song you might like then
damn

damn

damn
[Music]

it's a really bad

it's a really bad
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
I'm<01:14:53.219> beginning<01:14:53.400> to<01:14:53.880> feel<01:14:54.120> a<01:14:54.420> lot<01:14:54.540> closer<01:14:55.020> to

I'm beginning to feel a lot closer to

I'm beginning to feel a lot closer to
Nick

Nick

Nick
he<01:14:57.480> does<01:14:57.719> not

he does not

he does not
make<01:14:59.219> me<01:14:59.520> feel<01:15:00.000> bad<01:15:00.780> about<01:15:01.020> this<01:15:01.440> he's<01:15:02.280> been

make me feel bad about this he's been

make me feel bad about this he's been
there<01:15:02.760> for<01:15:03.000> me<01:15:03.179> so<01:15:03.420> far<01:15:03.600> I<01:15:03.780> hope<01:15:03.900> he<01:15:04.080> always

there for me so far I hope he always

there for me so far I hope he always
will<01:15:04.620> be

and my granddaughter seems to have the

and my granddaughter seems to have the
same<01:15:14.040> regard<01:15:14.699> for<01:15:14.940> me<01:15:15.120> as<01:15:15.300> I<01:15:15.540> said<01:15:15.659> before

right it's not just about us you're part

right it's not just about us you're part
of<01:15:22.980> a<01:15:23.280> larger<01:15:24.000> picture

of a larger picture

of a larger picture
it's<01:15:26.400> about<01:15:26.659> our<01:15:27.659> siblings<01:15:28.140> our<01:15:28.560> parents<01:15:29.040> our

it's about our siblings our parents our

it's about our siblings our parents our
ancestors<01:15:30.540> and<01:15:30.960> it<01:15:31.260> all<01:15:31.500> contributed<01:15:32.100> to<01:15:32.400> who

ancestors and it all contributed to who

ancestors and it all contributed to who
you<01:15:32.880> are<01:15:33.120> and<01:15:33.659> if<01:15:33.900> there's<01:15:34.020> enough<01:15:34.199> love<01:15:34.500> there

you are and if there's enough love there

you are and if there's enough love there
you<01:15:36.000> can<01:15:36.060> overcome

all right so you know what a box step

all right so you know what a box step
it's<01:15:47.880> back<01:15:48.179> for<01:15:48.300> slow

it's back for slow

it's back for slow
here<01:15:51.000> we<01:15:51.179> go<01:15:51.239> ready<01:15:52.040> and<01:15:53.040> slow<01:15:54.020> twitch<01:15:55.020> quit

here we go ready and slow twitch quit

here we go ready and slow twitch quit
slow

rocks

rocks
roll<01:16:03.780> her<01:16:04.260> out<01:16:04.620> I<01:16:05.340> don't<01:16:05.580> look<01:16:06.060> at<01:16:06.179> it<01:16:06.360> like<01:16:06.600> I'm

roll her out I don't look at it like I'm

roll her out I don't look at it like I'm
approaching<01:16:07.980> my<01:16:08.159> expiration<01:16:08.699> date<01:16:09.060> and

approaching my expiration date and

approaching my expiration date and
just<01:16:10.800> sort<01:16:11.580> of<01:16:11.760> give<01:16:12.600> up<01:16:12.840> I<01:16:13.739> still<01:16:14.179> challenge

just sort of give up I still challenge

just sort of give up I still challenge
myself<01:16:15.659> I'm<01:16:16.199> still<01:16:16.440> in<01:16:16.620> love<01:16:16.800> with<01:16:17.040> life<01:16:17.340> and

myself I'm still in love with life and

myself I'm still in love with life and
I'm<01:16:17.880> still<01:16:18.179> trying<01:16:18.420> to<01:16:18.659> grow<01:16:18.840> up

I'm past wondering about it

I'm past wondering about it
I<01:16:28.199> just<01:16:28.440> try<01:16:28.620> to<01:16:28.739> be<01:16:28.920> me

after I was said and done we have to be

after I was said and done we have to be
true<01:16:34.260> to<01:16:34.440> ourselves

true to ourselves

true to ourselves
we<01:16:36.300> have<01:16:36.420> to<01:16:36.540> be<01:16:36.659> Who<01:16:36.900> We<01:16:37.140> Are

we have to be Who We Are

we have to be Who We Are
Come<01:16:38.880> What<01:16:39.120> May

Come What May

Come What May
say<01:16:40.620> Levine

you go there you go good look right up

you go there you go good look right up
here<01:17:04.920> for<01:17:05.100> me

here for me

here for me
good

good

good
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
good I've<01:17:09.719> been<01:17:09.960> practicing

nice day

nice day
[Music]

fantastic

fantastic
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
yeah

yeah

yeah
good

okay

okay
[Music]

thank you good job

thank you good job
[Music]

good

good
[Music]

[Music]

[Music]
foreign

[Music]

[Music]
foreign