All language subtitles for House.S03E22.BDRip.x265-ION265

She almost took my head off.

Your fault.
You didn't guard your left side.

Point.

Stop, stop, stop!

Addie, you're bleeding.

I never even hit her.

Good morning.

This is funny. People don't...

Not done reading. Go away.

Most likely, she coughed it up.

Which would mean it's from her lungs.
Drugs, toxins, infection...

No fever and no elevated white count.
Which rules out infection.

And blood panels
found no drugs, no toxins.

The bronchoscopy was pristine.
So much for the lungs.

- Good morning.
- Not yet.

So then, the blood came
from her stomach.

Which would mean
it's an ulcer or a gi bleed.

Er also ran an upper and lower gi.
No occult blood in her stool.

Which means no ulcer
or gi bleed.

Which means it's not from
the stomach, either.

Which means it didn't
come from anywhere.

You guys get to the point where the
blood didn't come from anywhere?

Rupture in her sinus cavity?
Drip through the back?

- Not that much blood.
- Trauma from karate?

No trauma. She kicked
the other guy's ass.

Now a good time?

If you can tell me how blood
can mysteriously appear in a...

Now. This includes you.

What's going on?

Feel free to speculate
amongst yourselves.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

- Why?
- He's afraid of turning into me.

Well, that's a
good enough reason.

Sign here.

Doesn't look promising.

Good luck.

- Thank you.
- That's it?

You're not going to tell him
that we're a family

and families don't
abandon each other?

- You want me to?
- No.

- Would it make any difference?
- No.

Good luck, Dr. Foreman.

So, where were we?

College sophomore
coughing up blood.

Not the case. The speculation. The
palace intrigue. The rising self-doubts.

House: Did foreman
get a promotion?

I resigned.

What?

Personally, I can't believe I've had the
same three employees for three years.

Patient could have
a heart problem.

Yes. Life goes on. Look at the eager
beaver combing his hair.

Hyper-dynamic heart could force too much
blood into her lungs.

She coughed up the overflow.

Wouldn't leave a trace in her lungs

because it's traveling
through normal plumbing.

Foreman, go do a stress echo test
to see if he's right.

Cameron? Check out the dorm,
then re-do the er labs.

I'll get going on
foreman's farewell party.

Everybody good
with a "mermaid under the stars" theme?

So, why are you leaving?

Or is it just
some sort of power play?

You can have my parking space,
my locker.

Is it about house?

Let me get all sensitive
and confide in you.

Addie? Pedal harder.
Need your heart rate at 170.

Why wouldn't you
want to tell me?

I don't like you.
Never have. Never will.

You want me to share some more?

Even if you do hate me, if you'd found
another job, you'd tell me.

If house did something
to drive you out of here, you'd tell me.

The fact that you won't tell me means
that whatever the real reason is

you're ashamed of it.

Addie: Guys? I'm at 170.

Pulmonary artery looks good.
It's not a heart problem.

- Are you cold?
- No.

- Scared?
- I'm okay. Why?

On your arm.

Addie has goose bumps.

No recovering from those babies.

You don't have goose bumps
for no reason.

They're a reaction
to the body thinking it's cold.

She wasn't cold.
Her temperature was normal.

But her body thought it was.
Which means...

What? A brain problem?

A messed up hypothalamus
could cause goose bumps,

but they're not going to
cause her to cough up blood.

She has no neurological
issues. She had a shiver.

I think there's an infection.

We've ruled out infection
because no fever, no white count.

I think there's an infection.

Blood goes where it's needed. Infection
likes nice, wet places. Her lungs.

Start treatment. All that cool stuff
for bacterial, fungal,

and atypical infections.

Get a lung biopsy. I want to see
the little bugger up close.

Why is foreman quitting?

He wants to breed llamas.

Interesting.

You're ashamed
of the reason, too.

No one writes tamoxifen
like you.

Well, I use a "g."

Foreman resigned.

I'm sorry.

It's okay. No biggie.

Right. He give a reason?

He said he didn't want to end up like
me. I had a brilliant retort.

I can't remember
what it was at the moment.

You don't want to
end up like you.

Good point. Can I resign?

What's up with that?

- With what?
- You yawned.

I just told you something interesting,
so you're not bored.

It's 11:00 in the morning, you're
drinking coffee, so you're not tired.

I didn't yawn, so it's not
a mirror-neuron reaction.

Which leaves symptom.
Vasovagal issue, maybe a heart problem.

My heart's fine. I was up late.

You're just deflecting
having a conversation about foreman.

I'm okay with foreman leaving.

Either you're lying,
or you don't really think he's leaving

or you just jumped
right to acceptance.

I'm sorry. I yawned because I was trying
to communicate boredom.

You could try bargaining
with him. Give him a raise.

How much do you think it would cost
to make him want to be like me?

Thanks for the coffee.

She seems fine.

- She is fine.
- She coughed up blood.

- Past tense.
- She has diarrhea.

From the antibiotics
for the infection.

Lung biopsy says
she doesn't have an infection.

Well, then, you screwed up
the biopsy.

Or you're wrong about infection.

If I'm wrong,
then so is her body.

Because it obviously thinks
she's got an infection,

or it wouldn't have
gotten better from the antibiotics.

What is pandiculation
symptomatic of?

Yawning is a symptom
of fatigue or cholinergic excitation.

Does this have anything
to do with Addie?

Let's say yes.

Cerebral tumor, epilepsy...

Could also be a medication
reaction to antidepressants

or some meds for
end-stage liver failure.

Let's say no.

You don't want to
leave this job.

Three years you've been here.

You've never once laughed
at anything he said.

Because I wasn't
kissing his ass.

But now, you are?
No. Now, you're nervous.

Uncomfortable about your decision.
Wasn't even that good a joke.

Oh, crap.

Most of yourjokes are excellent.
I just meant in comparison.

Shut up. I think she
may not have an infection.

Better deal with her
before she crashes.

- She can't breathe.
- Get off the bed.

Need a crash cart.

What's happening?

Let's get her down. Now.

Pressure's collapsing her lungs.
She's not getting any air.

Oh, my god.

Chase: She couldn't breathe because
she had a pleural effusion.

Thoracentesis revealed low protein
count, effusion was transudative,

which means she has cirrhosis of the
liver, or she's in heart failure.

Heart was fine,
liver enzymes were normal.

There's something called "blude"
in the pleural effusion.

Oh. It's not "blude,"
it's blood.

Which is great. Not for her,
but for me.

Because it means
I think it's an infection.

Labs indicated
minute traces of blood.

You can't ignore the blood
because it's a minority.

Can you, foreman?

If we count the traces
of blood as significant,

the differential
isn't just infection.

Could be lung cancer,
breast cancer, lymphoma...

Great. Go tell her
she's got one of those.

Or you can tell her that we haven't
given her enough antibiotics

for her infection.

Double the dose.
Then check her lungs.

We checked her lungs.
They're clean.

On the outside.
She needs an arteriogram.

It's about my bowel movements.

What isn't, these days?

You sure you want to
be here for this?

We do everything together.

Of course.
A toilet can be a lonely place.

Drop your pants. I'll suit up.

- They float.
- Huh?

My bowel movements. Honey says
they're not supposed to?

I'm a nutritionist.

Yes, I could tell from
the cool toe-loop sandals.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

And the natural fiber
clothing, I assume,

means some kind of
vegetarian denomination?

We're vegans.

At first, I was a little concerned
about the lack of protein

but honey showed me
you can get it from lots...

Well, whatever floats yourpoop.

And you've been together
how long? Six months?

How did you know?

Because after six months,
poop love fades

and if you'd been together
shorter than that, then...

I'll explain
right after this break.

Three 10-milligram pills
of your finest amphetamines.

Arteriogram was normal.

Chase: Which means
her lungs are fine.

What if the clear
arteriogram is significant?

It is significant.
It means there's no infection.

I think there's an infection.

Cameron: Infections don't
come and go.

People don't get better then worse
on the same treatment.

Unless her body can't
finish off the fight.

Maybe goes a couple of rounds,
then gives up.

Why would it give up?

Maybe its name is foreman.

Come on. Where's that smile?

That laugh that makes
the whole world sunny

without contributing
to global warming?

Maybe she's missing a protein.

Blood panel and enzymes
show her proteins are normal.

You can't have tested
for every protein.

I can think of at least one
you can't test for at all.

Complement factor-h deficiency.
If she has that, she's dead.

No way to fend off bacteria.

She'll get one infection
after another until her body shuts down.

Maybe we can get ahead of the game.
Manage each symptom as it comes up.

Give her five miserable years
instead of six miserable months.

There's no diagnostic test
for complement factor-h deficiency.

So we isolate the cells
that are yummiest for it.

Stick a needle in her eye.

You're cheating on honey.

What? No. I'm not.

Oh, yes, you are.

It's okay. I get it.

Well, I was going to say relax.

But, oddly enough, you seem
pretty relaxed already.

You're accomplished.
You're funny.

You can have whatever you want.
Women are gonna...

He's not cheating
with another woman.

He's cheating with
another food group.

What?

His floaters float
because they're full of fat.

Probably had a big
cheeseburger for lunch.

You're eating flesh?

It's just a hamburger.
Not all the time...

You're disgusting.

Soy cakes taste like cardboard.
Unsalted cardboard.

I'm accomplished. I'm funny.

Can I have whatever I want?

Can we wait a second?

- What's wrong?
- I feel good.

Do you really need to
put that needle in?

You felt good yesterday,
and then you almost suffocated.

And you know that,
that thing is in my eye?

We think it could be.

If we find it,
the hope is that we can treat it.

- You hope?
- Mom. Don't hang on every word.

He said he hopes.
That means he doesn't know.

I just want to understand
what's going on.

We won't know anything
until we do the test.

Addie, this all looks really scary,
but you'll feel nothing. Okay?

Okay.

- You rang?
- You called me.

I bought you an Espresso.

You've been buying me coffee
for a couple of weeks.

I thought I'd
pay you back with one.

How did you walk with the cane
and the two coffees?

Why are you suspicious?

Because it's either that, or accept the
fact that you've done something nice.

And then I have to deal
with the horsemen

and the rain of fire
and the end of days.

You think I spat in yours?

Or worse.

I stacked them.

What do you think of me hiring a
nutritionist instead of a neurologist?

I mean, they sound
almost the same.

I take it you've met
a hot nutritionist.

Don't cheapen this.

We had an in-depth
conversation about proteins and fats.

I was about to
examine her boyfriend's rectum.

You asked for a date while your finger
was in her boyfriend?

I got her number.

No. No. No way.

This is an employment
application.

She doesn't want to go out with you.
She's looking for a job.

Oh, god. She's 26.

But with the wisdom
of a much younger woman.

Have you spoken to foreman?

Several times. We laughed...

You're going to lose him.

And that will be depressing.

But it will only make me appreciate
all the good things that I do have.

Macular biopsy was negative.
Which means you're wrong.

There's no complement
factor-h deficiency.

Most likely cause of altering blood flow
in the brain is a clot or a tumor.

We can rule out a clotting
issue because she has a bleeding issue.

Which means we should be
looking for a tumor.

I think there's an infection.

Just 'cause the cells in her eye aren't
dead yet doesn't mean they're working.

So, why did we do the test?

Because if it had been positive,
it would have proved I was right.

But negative doesn't
prove you wrong?

That's the beauty of the test.

She needs an mri of her brain.

Absolutely.

As long as you're scanning,
you mind having a boo for an abscess

for something
caused by an infection?

I didn't expect house
to beg me to stay.

But it seems like he's
in a better mood since I quit.

Nothing in the axial view.

You haven't asked me
why I'm leaving.

I figured you'd tell me
when you wanted to.

I don't want to be like him.

You're not a jerk.

Thank you.

I mean, sometimes you are.

But I don't think we can
pin that on house.

And you're a better doctor
than when you came through the door.

I'm better at some things.
Worse at others.

Again, not house's fault.
It's a job.

We're supposed to take the good
and leave the bad.

It's easier for you.

Why? Because you think
I need to toughen up?

You think I'm weak?

Yeah.

See? I am a jerk.
I've got to get out of here.

What's wrong, Addie?

My head hurts!

Her brain's clean.
No tumor and no abscess.

- We're all wrong.
- My head!

My head!

My head!

Grody.

Looks like massive tissue death.

Who cares? Her head blew up.

- How cool is that?
- Cameron: It's not pussy.

Meaning you don't think
it's an infection

and you'd be right,
if you weren't wrong.

Here we go again.

She's got infections
that come and go.

- Which means...
- It means it has to be something else.

Good guess. But no.

It either she's got
a leprechaun in her colon,

which is playing
with the doggie door,

letting bacteria in and out,

or she's got complement
factor-h deficiency.

You enjoying this?

I'm saving a woman's life.

I'm saving a woman's life!
Actually, I'm diagnosing her.

Technically, I'm diagnosing her with
something that's going to kill her.

But, other than that,
I'm saving her life.

An autoimmune problem
makes more sense.

You can't explain
a transudative pleural effusion

with giant cell arteritis.

You'd need three whiteboards
and 100 different colored markers.

No, it's much more likely
she has an invisible protein

that allowed bacteria
to arbitrarily invade her lungs

then arbitrarily invade her pleura,
then arbitrarily jump into her head.

If it's autoimmune,
she can live.

But we have to give her steroids, now.
Before her heart ruptures.

If you're wrong, and you give
her steroids, she dies, now.

Foreman. Want to run down how it feels
to go with your gut and kill a person?

You can get into
the whole spiraling out of control,

and the self-doubt,
and the resigning thing.

Do it.

Worst that can happen
is you quit.

Cameron, want to explain
to the parents

why you'll be holding paddles
while he's doing it?

Because if her heart goes "boom",
it will "boom" right away.

She really has to be
awake for this?

If there's a problem,
she could tell us what she feels.

Relax.

We're scared.

I don't want you to be scared.

Then, get better. Okay, sweetie?

We love you.

I'm sorry.

Ready?

Ready.

My patient's about to have a heart
attack. It's going to be massive.

Oh, wow. That's too bad.

Because I just got tickets to a stroke
on the third floor.

Have you had
a conversation with foreman?

Do me a favor?

You haven't.

Because then you would have to
confront your own emotions.

Is bile an emotion? Because I definitely
feel something here.

Get me some liquorice. This is going to
be the best heart attack of all time.

Oh! Wait, wait, wait, wait!
She's going to shock her.

There's always tomorrow.

You wanted to see me?

Pretty sure the label
is straight.

Are you really going to leave?
Where are you going?

- You lined up interviews yet?
- I'm not sure.

You're pissed at house. I get it.
You're symbolicating killing him.

Symbolicating. What?
Symbolicalating.

- Gosh, that's a hard word.
- Are you okay?

Hey, I'm not the one...
I'm not the one...

I'm not the one
pretending to kill someone.

What would it take for you to stay?
Is it money? He wants you to stay.

- He said that?
- If I said he said that,

would that make a difference?

- Are you sure you're okay?
- Hello?

I'm leaving now.

I'm late for a breast thing.
You know he wants you.

You know he's good.
You know he can make you good.

I don't know what I'm saying.
You know... I don't...

You know what I'm saying. And you know
I'm right. I've got to go.

Sorry it took me so long to
get down here. I'm Dr. Wilson.

I guess Dr. Stein is gone.
Don't worry about it.

I'll talk to him
when we're done.

Dr. Stein said
they're probably calcium deposits.

But with your medical history,
you don't want to take chances.

I can't seem to
put my gloves on today. That's weird.

Okay. Well, that's fine. One's enough.
Well, let's have a look.

You sure talk fast.

This is nothing.
You should see me when we're busy.

I just winked at you. I just... I've
never winked at a patient in my life.

I have no... I am so sorry.
I have no idea what I was thinking.

It's okay.

No, it's not.
I was hitting on you.

I mean, I wasn't... I wasn't consciously
hitting on you, but I...

- What else could you think?
- That you were being reassuring?

Yeah. That would make sense.
On the other hand, I...

I feel like my heart's
going to explode.

Are you okay?

I feel a little sweaty.
Am I sweating?

Yeah.

- Is something wrong?
- I can't...

I put on gloves to do
a breast exam. Perfect. Sorry.

It's 185.

One eighty-five.

One eighty-five?

Excuse me.
I have to go kill someone.

You dosed me!

Yes, I did. But only because
you didn't trust me.

Your best friend!

You could have killed me!

Amphetamines aren't
going to kill you.

You don't know
my medical history!

I could have... I could have...

You could have given me
a heart attack!

A heart attack is not going to kill you.
You were in a hospital.

You yawned!

You tried to kill me!

I put you on uppers
and you still yawned.

Means it's a symptom
of being a big, fat liar.

Yawning is a side effect
of some anti-depressants.

Apparently, the ones you're on.

I'm not on anti-depressants,
I'm on speed.

That means it's a symptom
of a cerebral tumor.

You got six weeks to live.

Mr. Well-adjusted is as messed up
as the rest of us.

Why... why would you
keep that a secret?

Are you ashamed of recognizing
how pathetic your life is?

It's not a secret.
House, it's... it's...

It's personal.

- How long has it been personal?
- It's personal.

Yawning is recent.
So, either you just started,

- or you changed prescriptions.
- This is why I take them.

They're anti-depressants,
not anti-annoyance-ants.

You'd think this would
naturally come up in conversation.

Oh, don't act hurt.
You don't care.

On one of the occasions
when you were pompously lecturing me

on what to do to fix my life.

You wouldn't take them.
You'd rather od on Vicodin

or stick electrodes in your head,
because you could say

you did it to get high.

The only reason to take anti-depressants
is because you're depressed.

You... you have to admit
that you're depressed.

Give me.

Are you going to admit that...

No, I'm gonna prove
that I'm not depressed.

Well, I can't give you my prescription.
You've got to meet with a psychiatrist.

You... you need a whole work-up.

Give me a Vicodin
so I don't stroke.

I wouldn't drink that.

My leg hurt, and I...

House, why didn't you
pick up the phone?

- We've been calling.
- I was sleeping.

What did you do?

Nothing.

This is how regular people look
when you wake them up.

Chase was wrong.
Addie's kidneys shut down.

Hemolytic uremic syndrome
shut down Addie's kidneys.

Peripheral smear of red cells
had schistocytes.

Hus is usually caused by an infection
or protein deficiency.

What a coincidence.

I know a patient with an infection
and a protein deficiency.

Do you think it's possible
there's a connection?

I want to hear you say it,
chase. It will please me.

Doesn't mean you're right.
You predicted cardiac arrest,

instant cardiac arrest.

There were only two choices.

Since yours was wrong,
mine must have been right.

Either that,
or we missed the leprechaun.

If you're right,
there's nothing to be done.

The steroid treatment
we gave her means

when the next infection hits,
it will hit hard.

Liver failure, cardiac arrest.

On the bright side
it confirms my diagnosis.

Don't you see how incredible
this call was? A protein deficiency.

It can't be tested.
Can't be seen.

I called it based
on coughing blood.

You're happy about this.

She's going to die.

That's not my fault.

She was going to die, anyway.

And now, thanks to me,
at least she'll know why.

I'm sure you'll see that gratitude
in her eyes when you tell her.

I'm not telling her.

I'm not telling her.

No one's telling her.
Not until we're sure I'm right.

But we're waiting for her
to stroke or have a heart attack

to confirm before we tell her?

Seems like the humane approach.

Her heart went into v-fib.
Brought her back, barely.

Congratulations,
you have your confirmation.

What's her name?

- Who? The co-ed?
- Sure.

Dead sophomore girl?

You know her father's name?

Dad. Her mother's name is mommy.

Ben and Jody are about to lose
their only daughter, Addie.

You think that they're
gonna give a crap if I know their names?

Five years from now, when the father's
looking at photographs

of his daughter
graduating from high school,

they're not going to remember
the nice black doctor

who called them
by their first name.

You don't wanna quit.

You saying you
don't want me to quit?

Didn't sound like I said that.

I'm saying that suddenly you're trying
to turn me into a kinder, gentler ass.

Because you know who you are.

And you figure if you
can make me decent and caring,

then maybe there's hope for...

You're about to tell a girl she's dying
and you think it's about you.

God, I hope I'm not you.

I'm sorry.

Addie, you're dying.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Your infections will get worse.
The toxins will spill into your blood.

How long?

Two days, maybe less.

You have a condition called...

Does it matter?

It's a very rare protein deficiency
that only manifests...

I don't want to hear it.

Okay.

It's what's killing you.
This is what's killing you.

You're not interested
in what's killing you?

Will it make any difference?
Will I live any longer?

Please, could you just leave?

What's the point in living without
curiosity? Without craving the...

So, I'm screwing up my last few hours
because I won't listen to you?

Get out of here.

It's... it's like the
dark matter in the universe.

You're smiling.

No, I'm not.

You can only diagnose
a problem by looking at what's...

Missing.

Oh, god.

I have to go.

Nineteen-year-old didn't want to
hear the coolest explanation

of why she's going to die,
begged me to shut up.

If you can't shut up,
at least talk quietly.

Amphetamine withdrawal's
a bitch. She thought that I was happy.

- You were happy?
- No, I was hazy.

And I don't get hazy on Vicodin,
or anything else I throw down.

Which means
I was throwing down something

I didn't know I was throwing down.
Which got me to wondering...

Why didn't you give me
those happy pills?

I told you.
You've got to be checked out by...

No, you just didn't
want me double-dosing.

You dosed me!

Those coffees... they worked!

You've been smiling,
relaxed, happy.

A dying girl thought
I was happy.

A moron thought I was happy.

Who the hell doesn't
want to know why she's dying?

- House was happy.
- Hazy.

- Happy... hazy!

Oh, right.
A dying girl mistook hazy for happy.

Because dying people
see happiness everywhere.

- She's miserable.
- She wasn't miserable.

Of course she was miserable.
You just told her...

She was no different
than she'd ever been.

She was no different
than she'd ever been.

Oh, god.

I gotta go.

Need a minute
with your daughter.

Dr. House,
get out of here before...

She's gonna live.

Does that help? Now, get out.

Are you jerking us around...

Get out.

You have got leprechauns in you.

Depression manifests
in lots of different ways.

Some people can't
get out of bed all day,

others have serial relationships
and become oncologists.

I'm dying, I'm not depressed.

Wrong. And wrong.

You tried to kill yourself
by throwing down kitchen cleanser.

Now, most normal suicidal morons
would have just drank the stuff.

Burned the hell out
of their mouth and throat.

Painful, but not deadly.

But being a college-educated
suicidal moron,

you wrapped it in
gel caps or gum.

Which left no trace,
but it burned a hole in your intestine.

But the body can repair
almost anything, which is cool.

In your case, scar tissue
closed up the hole.

But it also formed a bridge
between a vein and an artery.

Now, veins are supposed to help the
intestine flush bacteria away.

But the bridge allowed
the bacteria entrance to the artery.

Where they got
a free ride everywhere.

Can you fix me?

Surgery to fix the bridge'll
take about two hours.

The psychotherapy's
going to take a little longer.

Why'd you do it?

I don't know.

I've just

never been happy.

Please don't tell my parents.

They'll blame themselves
and it's not their fault.

Please, you can't tell them.

Technically, all you have to do is
promise me that you won't do it again.

Then, legally,
I can't tell them.

I promise.

Yeah, sure.

- We can't thank you...
- Your daughter tried to kill herself.

That's why she's here.

Legally, I'm supposed to
keep that between me and her.

Which makes sense,
she's obviously an adult,

capable of her own
well-reasoned decisions.

You're sure?

If she doesn't die
in the next couple of hours,

yeah, I'm right.

How could she hide this?

Everyone has secrets.

We'll take care of her.
Figure it out.

Make her happy?

We'll get her into therapy.

Might want to try
some meds, too.

Can we call you?

If we have any questions?

- What's up?
- Nothing.

- You wanted to see me?
- Yeah.

- House's patient?
- Yeah.

The one that would have died,
if not for him.

- Subtle.
- Thanks.

You're really scared
you'll turn into him.

Don't tell me
I'm better than him.

Don't tell me, take the good
and leave the bad.

Cameron already tried.

I'm telling you
there are worse things to turn into.

It's not worth it.

I didn't think you were
going to show.

Sorry, surgery went
a little late.

So, you really think I have all
the necessary qualifications?

I can't discuss this with a dry mouth.
What do you got there?

Peppermint tea.

I'm going to have
a mug of peppermint tea, please.

This isn't a job interview,
is it?

It's some kind of interview.

You'rejudging me.
I'm judging you.

You have the upper hand.

I don't know anything about you.

I'm on antidepressants

because a doctor friend
of mine thinks I'm miserable.

I don't like them, they make me hazy.
I eat meat, I like drugs.

And I'm not always faithful
to the women I date.

You don't seem depressed.

You do realize you just skipped over
several deep character flaws

that most women would
run screaming from.

You told the truth.

Yeah, I don't always do that,
either.

Well, how miserable can you be,

saving lives, sleeping around,
and doing drugs?

Were you on the debating team
in high school?

Also, I hate

tea.