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1
00:00:00,671 --> 00:00:02,133
PREVIOUSLY ON...
2
00:00:02,133 --> 00:00:04,605
SUSAN'S NEW BOYFRIEND
MET THE FAMILY.
3
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:06,607
WHO ARE YOU?
HI.
4
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:09,140
I'M MIKE, THE EX-HUSBAND.
AH.
5
00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:12,443
GABY'S LIFE
WAS NO LONGER GLAMOROUS.
6
00:00:12,443 --> 00:00:14,585
IT'S OFFICIAL.
I'VE LOST EVERYTHING--
7
00:00:14,585 --> 00:00:16,587
FIRST, OUR MONEY,
THEN MY FIGURE,
8
00:00:16,587 --> 00:00:19,790
NOW THE LAST THREADS
OF OUR SOCIAL STANDING.
GABY, WE HAVE A HOME,
9
00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:21,722
AND WE HAVE
TWO BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRLS.
10
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:24,725
DANIELLE'S DECISION
WAS DEVASTATING...
11
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:27,728
PLEASE, JUST DON'T TAKE HIM!
BENJAMIN IS ALL I HAVE.
12
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:30,401
YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE
TO FIND SOMETHING ELSE.
13
00:00:30,401 --> 00:00:33,033
AND EDIE'S NEW HUSBAND
SHOWED A DARK SIDE.
14
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,805
I WOULD CONSIDER IT
A PERSONAL FAVOR
15
00:00:34,805 --> 00:00:37,238
IF YOU'D APOLOGIZE TO EDIE.
NO.
16
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:39,340
NOW IT SEEMS TO ME
THAT A WOMAN LIKE YOU
17
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:42,473
WOULD LIKE TO KEEP THE FEW
FRIENDS THAT SHE HAS LEFT.
I THINK YOU'D BETTER GO.
18
00:00:42,473 --> 00:00:44,775
WHY WOULD
YOU BRING ME FLOWERS?
'CAUSE YOU GOT A COMPUTER,
19
00:00:44,775 --> 00:00:48,749
AND I NEED TO FIND OUT
SOME STUFF ABOUT EDIE'S HUSBAND.
20
00:00:53,084 --> 00:00:55,786
(Mary Alice) BENJAMIN KATZ
WAS 6 YEARS OLD,
21
00:00:55,786 --> 00:01:00,060
AND THERE WERE A LOT OF THINGS
HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.
22
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,534
HE WASN'T SURE WHY
THE WOMAN YOU CALL "MOMMY"
23
00:01:03,534 --> 00:01:07,238
ISN'T ALWAYS YOUR MOTHER.
24
00:01:07,238 --> 00:01:10,741
OR HOW THE MAN
WHO WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR HIM
25
00:01:10,741 --> 00:01:14,505
COULD SUDDENLY BE TAKEN AWAY.
26
00:01:14,505 --> 00:01:17,808
OR WHY YOU COULD
GO FOR A RIDE...
27
00:01:17,808 --> 00:01:21,682
AND NEVER COME BACK HOME.
28
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:24,185
YES,
THERE WERE A LOT OF THINGS
29
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:26,657
BENJAMIN KATZ
COULDN'T UNDERSTAND,
30
00:01:26,657 --> 00:01:29,490
AND NO ONE SEEMED IN A HURRY
31
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:31,822
TO EXPLAIN THEM.
32
00:01:31,822 --> 00:01:34,125
(Bree)
HERE THEY COME, FINALLY.
33
00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:37,128
YOU KNOW, BREE, THINGS WILL BE
A LITTLE STRANGE AT FIRST,
34
00:01:37,128 --> 00:01:39,099
SO PLEASE,
BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR.
35
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,101
I DO NOT REQUIRE LECTURES
ON TACT.
36
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,604
I KNOW. IT'S JUST THAT
WE'VE MISSED BENJY SO MUCH,
37
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,606
AND IT'S TAKEN
SO MANY OLIVE BRANCHES
38
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,609
TO GET THEM TO COME BACK.
I'M AWARE
OF WHAT'S AT STAKE, ORSON.
39
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,611
GOOD. SO IF YOU FEEL AN IMPULSE
TO CRITICIZE SOMETHING,
40
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,613
YOU'LL KEEP THE THOUGHT
TO YOURSELF.
41
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,545
HI!
42
00:01:54,545 --> 00:01:55,846
(chuckles)
43
00:01:55,846 --> 00:01:57,648
(chuckles nervously)
I'VE ALREADY STARTED.
44
00:01:57,648 --> 00:02:02,593
DANIELLE! WHAT A DELIGHTFULLY
ETHNIC ENSEMBLE.
45
00:02:02,593 --> 00:02:05,596
HEY, MOM, ORSON.
HI, DANIELLE.
46
00:02:05,596 --> 00:02:07,698
OH, I WANT TO MEET
MY HUSBAND LEO.
47
00:02:07,698 --> 00:02:10,701
IT'S NICE TO FINALLY MEET
BOTH OF YOU IN PERSON.
LOVELY TO MEET YOU, LEO.
48
00:02:10,701 --> 00:02:12,703
HEY, WHO'S THIS
LITTLE LINEBACKER?
49
00:02:12,703 --> 00:02:16,267
HI, BENJY. REMEMBER ME?
I'M NOT SURE.
50
00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:19,840
THAT'S OKAY. THAT'S WHAT
THIS VISIT IS FOR, RIGHT?
51
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,842
GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
52
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,275
NOW WE HAVE YOU FOR
THE WHOLE WEEKEND, RIGHT?
53
00:02:24,275 --> 00:02:25,676
YEP, WHOLE THREE DAYS.
54
00:02:25,676 --> 00:02:27,848
OH, GOOD.
'CAUSE WE'VE MADE LOTS OF PLANS.
55
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,451
WE'RE GONNA
TAKE YOU TO THE CIRCUS
56
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:33,153
IF IT'S OKAY WITH YOUR FOLKS.
CAN I GO, DANIELLE?
57
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,356
"DANIELLE"? DID HE JUST
CALL YOU "DANIELLE"?
58
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:37,588
WELL, IT IS MY NAME.
59
00:02:37,588 --> 00:02:40,491
YES, I'M AWARE OF THAT.
I PICKED IT.
60
00:02:40,491 --> 00:02:42,193
I'M JUST CONCERNED
61
00:02:42,193 --> 00:02:45,636
PEOPLE MIGHT VIEW IT
AS A SIGN OF, UM, DISRESPECT.
62
00:02:45,636 --> 00:02:47,938
BY "PEOPLE," YOU MEAN YOU?
63
00:02:47,938 --> 00:02:51,302
UH... LEO. LOOK AT ALL
THE LUGGAGE YOU HAVE HERE.
64
00:02:51,302 --> 00:02:53,874
I'LL GIVE YOU A HAND HERE.
OKAY.
OH, THANKS.
65
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,377
UM... LET ME BE CLEAR.
66
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:59,450
(lowers voice) I DO NOT
WANT HIM CALLING ME "BREE."
67
00:02:59,450 --> 00:03:02,453
OH, DON'T WORRY. I TOLD HIM
TO CALL YOU "GRANNY."
68
00:03:04,315 --> 00:03:08,619
YES, BENJAMIN KATZ
WAS ONLY 6 YEARS OLD,
69
00:03:08,619 --> 00:03:11,262
BUT EVEN HE COULD UNDERSTAND
70
00:03:11,262 --> 00:03:13,764
THIS WAS GOING TO BE...
71
00:03:13,764 --> 00:03:26,206
A LONG WEEKEND.
72
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,208
ANY CHILD WILL TELL YOU
73
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,381
THAT WHERE YOU FIND
A PLAYGROUND,
74
00:03:30,381 --> 00:03:33,244
YOU WILL ALSO FIND...
75
00:03:33,244 --> 00:03:34,615
BULLIES--
76
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,617
YOUNG TYRANTS WHO BRING PAIN...
77
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,319
AAH!
78
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,890
INTIMIDATION...
79
00:03:39,890 --> 00:03:41,752
AAH!
80
00:03:41,752 --> 00:03:43,994
AND VIOLENCE.
81
00:03:43,994 --> 00:03:47,328
WHAT CAN CHILDREN DO
IN THE FACE OF SUCH TORMENT?
82
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:50,731
WELL,
THERE IS ONE OBVIOUS OPTION,
83
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:56,337
BUT NOT EVERY CHILD IS EAGER
TO GO RUNNING HOME TO MOTHER.
84
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:57,968
(door opens)
UGH. HEY. HON.
85
00:03:57,968 --> 00:04:00,371
HOW WAS THE PARK?
WAIT. HOLD ON.
86
00:04:00,371 --> 00:04:02,873
MOMMY JUST FOUND
HER FIRST GRAY HAIR.
87
00:04:02,873 --> 00:04:07,017
I NEED YOU TO GRAB IT, YANK IT
AND NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN.
88
00:04:07,017 --> 00:04:09,920
OH. LOOK AT YOUR FACE.
89
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,682
IT'S SCRATCHED.
90
00:04:11,682 --> 00:04:12,983
WHAT HAPPENED?
91
00:04:12,983 --> 00:04:15,326
NOTHING.
92
00:04:15,326 --> 00:04:17,928
AND YOUR SHIRT IS RIPPED.
93
00:04:17,928 --> 00:04:19,930
THAT'S THE SECOND TIME
THIS WEEK.
94
00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:21,962
IS SOMEONE PICKING ON YOU?
95
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:27,638
WHO IS IT?
96
00:04:27,638 --> 00:04:30,801
IS IT JEFFREY HIXON,
THAT WEIRD KID WHO EATS PAPER?
97
00:04:32,443 --> 00:04:33,944
IS IT TIMMY CROWLEY?
98
00:04:33,944 --> 00:04:36,407
HIS MOM SLEPT IN HER CAR
LAST NIGHT.
99
00:04:36,407 --> 00:04:39,580
WHO KNOWS
WHAT'S GOING ON THERE?
100
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,882
IS IT THAT BOY
FROM YOUR BIRTHDAY,
101
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:45,486
THE ONE WHO SLUGGED
THE PONY?
102
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:48,589
OH, SWEETIE.
I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET,
103
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:50,891
BUT YOU'LL FEEL BETTER
IF YOU TALK ABOUT IT.
104
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:54,825
AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T
TELL ME. I'M YOUR MOMMY.
105
00:04:54,825 --> 00:04:57,928
I WANNA TALK TO DADDY.
106
00:04:57,928 --> 00:05:01,372
OH.
107
00:05:01,372 --> 00:05:03,774
OKAY.
108
00:05:03,774 --> 00:05:05,776
WE'LL GIVE HIM A CALL.
109
00:05:08,879 --> 00:05:10,711
(man) OKAY!
110
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:13,714
YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND
ANOTHER ONE IN THIS CONDITION.
111
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,716
I MEAN, THE CAR IS A CLASSIC.
112
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,848
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK,
NABILA?
113
00:05:17,848 --> 00:05:20,351
EH. I LIKE IT.
I DON'T LOVE IT.
114
00:05:20,351 --> 00:05:21,852
(Carlos) TELL YOU WHAT.
115
00:05:21,852 --> 00:05:24,855
GABY AND I WANT
TO FIND OUR CAR A NICE HOME.
116
00:05:24,855 --> 00:05:29,560
SO I'M PREPARED TO KNOCK
A GRAND OFF. WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I SAY KNOCK OFF 5 GRAND,
AND WE'LL TALK.
117
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,463
OH, COME ON. IT'S ALREADY
PRICED WAY BELOW BLUE BOOK,
118
00:05:32,463 --> 00:05:34,765
NOT TO MENTION IT'S MINT.
THIS IS NOT MINT.
119
00:05:34,765 --> 00:05:37,868
HEY, CAN YOU NOT SEE THIS DING
IN THE BUMPER HERE?
120
00:05:37,868 --> 00:05:40,941
OKAY, THIS CAR GOES ZERO TO 60
IN 5 SECONDS.
121
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,943
BY THE TIME SOMEONE SAYS,
"WOW, A DING,"
122
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,876
YOU'RE IN THE NEXT COUNTY.
4 GRAND,
YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL.
123
00:05:45,876 --> 00:05:47,748
DEAL.
124
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,880
WHAT? NO! NO, NO DEAL!
125
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:52,583
THE NONDRIVING BLIND GUY
DOES NOT SPEAK FOR ME.
126
00:05:52,583 --> 00:05:54,625
(sighs)
WOULD YOU EXCUSE US?
127
00:05:54,625 --> 00:05:57,628
GABY, WE'VE BEEN TRYING
TO MOVE THIS CAR FOR A MONTH.
128
00:05:57,628 --> 00:05:59,089
WE NEED THE CASH.
129
00:05:59,089 --> 00:06:02,092
(sighs) GOD, ISN'T THERE
ANY WAY WE CAN KEEP IT?
130
00:06:02,092 --> 00:06:04,565
I MEAN, THIS CAR'S
THE LAST THING I HAVE
131
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:07,067
THAT TELLS THE WORLD,
"I'M BETTER THAN YOU."
132
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,570
SORRY, BABE.
WE HAVE TO PAY THE MORTGAGE.
133
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:12,072
WE CAN'T AFFORD TO BE
BETTER THAN ANYONE.
134
00:06:18,649 --> 00:06:20,581
HERE.
135
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,553
TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER.
136
00:06:22,553 --> 00:06:25,916
ACTUALLY, IT'S NOT FOR US.
IT'S FOR OUR NANNY.
137
00:06:29,059 --> 00:06:32,523
OKAY, THAT ONE HURT.
138
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:36,897
HEY.
139
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,999
SO WHAT'D YOU DIG UP
ON MR. X.?
140
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,501
YOU MEAN DAVE?
YEAH.
141
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:43,434
NOTHING YET.
IT'S BEEN TWO DAYS.
WHAT GIVES?
142
00:06:43,434 --> 00:06:46,437
WELL, FOR STARTERS, WHEN
I SEARCH FOR "DAVE WILLIAMS,"
143
00:06:46,437 --> 00:06:48,609
I GET
A MILLION AND A HALF HITS.
144
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,911
TO NARROW IT DOWN,
I'M GONNA NEED MORE INFORMATION,
145
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,814
LIKE WHERE HE WAS BORN,
WHERE HE WENT TO SCHOOL.
146
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,447
DID HE SERVE TIME
IN THE MILITARY?
OH, BELIEVE ME,
147
00:06:56,447 --> 00:06:58,689
IF HE SERVED TIME,
IT WAS IN THE STATE PEN.
148
00:06:58,689 --> 00:07:00,591
HEY! DAVE!
149
00:07:00,591 --> 00:07:02,523
MORNING, LADIES.
(tires screech)
150
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:05,456
(under breath)
SICK BASTARD.
HOW ARE YOU?
151
00:07:05,456 --> 00:07:06,426
HEY, KATHERINE,
152
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,729
YOUR SPRINKLER SYSTEM
WORKING OKAY NOW?
153
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:10,731
LIKE A CHARM.
AND THANKS AGAIN.
154
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:13,734
I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE
TO GET THAT TO WORK.
OH, I HEAR YA.
155
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,906
TO PROGRAM THOSE THINGS,
YOU NEED AN ENGINEERING DEGREE.
156
00:07:15,906 --> 00:07:18,208
(laughs)
OH, YEAH?
YOU GOT ONE OF THOSE?
157
00:07:18,208 --> 00:07:20,641
ANYWAY...
REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
158
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:23,644
TAKE CARE.
159
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,075
OH.
160
00:07:25,075 --> 00:07:27,818
I JUST CAN'T
GO THROUGH WITH THIS.
161
00:07:27,818 --> 00:07:30,220
HE--HE JUST STRIKES ME
AS SO NICE.
162
00:07:30,220 --> 00:07:32,082
THAT'S SUPPOSED
TO COMFORT ME,
163
00:07:32,082 --> 00:07:34,755
GIVEN YOUR TRACK RECORD
WITH MEN?
164
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:37,588
KATHERINE, PLEASE.
165
00:07:37,588 --> 00:07:39,590
THE GUY IS BAD NEWS.
166
00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:42,593
I CAN'T PROVE IT,
BUT I FEEL IT IN MY BONES.
167
00:07:42,593 --> 00:07:45,566
AND I CAN'T SIT AROUND
DOING NOTHING WHEN I KNOW
168
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:49,099
THAT EDIE'S WAKING UP
EVERY MORNING NEXT TO HIM.
169
00:07:49,099 --> 00:07:51,772
IF ANYONE FINDS OUT
WE'RE DOING THIS...
170
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:53,243
NO ONE WILL KNOW.
171
00:07:53,243 --> 00:07:56,747
AND WHEN THEY DO,
THEY'LL PROBABLY THANK US.
172
00:07:56,747 --> 00:08:01,882
BECAUSE I'M TELLING YA,
THIS GUY IS UP TO SOMETHING.
173
00:08:04,214 --> 00:08:07,257
CLEANING OUT THE OLD GARAGE--
MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY.
174
00:08:07,257 --> 00:08:09,990
HEY, DAVE.
YOU--YOU SETTLING IN OKAY?
175
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,592
YEAH. YEAH.
176
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:14,094
WELL, THEY FINALLY DELIVERED
MY FLAT SCREEN.
177
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:17,197
I WAS DYING WITHOUT IT.
I MEAN, IT IS 65 INCHES.
178
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,229
WOW. SWEET!
179
00:08:19,229 --> 00:08:22,232
HEY, W--THE PLAY-OFFS ARE ON.
YOU SHOULD COME CHECK IT OUT.
180
00:08:22,232 --> 00:08:24,535
IT'S LIKE BEING
RIGHT ON THE FIELD.
181
00:08:24,535 --> 00:08:25,636
YEAH...
182
00:08:25,636 --> 00:08:27,638
UM, LYNETTE'S
REALLY BUSTING MY HUMP
183
00:08:27,638 --> 00:08:29,680
ABOUT CLEARING
THIS PLACE OUT, SO...
184
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:30,981
WELL, MAYBE LATER.
185
00:08:30,981 --> 00:08:33,544
THE GAME DOESN'T START
FOR A COUPLE HOURS.
186
00:08:33,544 --> 00:08:36,547
WE COULD ORDER
ONE OF THOSE GIANT SANDWICHES.
SORRY, BUT, YOU KNOW,
CHECK BACK WITH ME,
187
00:08:36,547 --> 00:08:38,819
MAKE SURE I SURVIVE
THIS WHOLE THING.
OKAY.
188
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:39,990
HI, DAVE.
189
00:08:39,990 --> 00:08:40,951
HI.
190
00:08:40,951 --> 00:08:42,252
HEY, TOM?
191
00:08:42,252 --> 00:08:44,024
YEAH?
192
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,926
WHY ARE THERE TWO PILES?
193
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:48,629
WELL, THAT'S THE PILE
THAT I'M THROWING AWAY,
194
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:51,131
AND, UH, THIS IS THE STUFF
I STILL NEED.
195
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:54,935
YOU NEED UNOPENED MOUNTAIN
CLIMBING EQUIPMENT FROM 1986?
196
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:57,708
YOU DON'T CLIMB MOUNTAINS.
197
00:08:57,708 --> 00:09:00,941
NOT YET, BUT SOMEDAY.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW... WHO KNOWS?
198
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:04,044
(laughs) I KNOW. YOU GET WINDED
JUST CLIMBING OUT OF THE TUB.
199
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,016
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA CLIMB
A MOUNTAIN.
200
00:09:06,016 --> 00:09:08,148
(scoffs) YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA DO?
201
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,851
LEARN GERMAN,
MAKE YOUR OWN BEER OR...
202
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:12,552
HAVE 8 MINUTE ABS.
203
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,826
COME ON, NOT THE AB-TASTIC.
TOSS IT, AND KEEP TOSSING
204
00:09:15,826 --> 00:09:18,889
UNTIL THIS 2-CAR GARAGE
CAN HOLD AT LEAST ONE CAR.
205
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,133
(sighs)
206
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:28,238
PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NOT
GETTING RID OF YOUR BASS.
207
00:09:28,238 --> 00:09:30,240
NO POINT
IN HANGING ON TO IT.
208
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:33,644
I MEAN, BEING IN A BAND IS JUST
ONE MORE THING I'LL NEVER DO.
209
00:09:33,644 --> 00:09:35,606
BEFORE HE MOVED,
MIKE AND I,
210
00:09:35,606 --> 00:09:38,909
WE USED TO GET TOGETHER
ON SATURDAYS AND JUST... JAM.
211
00:09:38,909 --> 00:09:40,781
MAN, THAT WAS FUN.
212
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:43,013
YOU KNOW, I PLAY THE DRUMS.
213
00:09:43,013 --> 00:09:45,716
MAYBE YOU AND I
SHOULD JAM SOMETIME.
214
00:09:48,218 --> 00:09:50,360
I GUESS WE COULD.
215
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:51,992
MAYBE EVEN LATER TODAY?
JUST...
216
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,965
YEAH! YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
JUST GIVE ME A COUPLE HOURS.
217
00:09:54,965 --> 00:09:58,729
I GOTTA STASH
THESE OLD "PLAYBOYS." (laughs)
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
218
00:10:23,053 --> 00:10:25,696
NOW REMEMBER, YOU CAN'T
JUST START GRILLING EDIE,
219
00:10:25,696 --> 00:10:28,899
OR SHE'LL GET SUSPICIOUS.
WE HAVE TO BE SUBTLE.
220
00:10:28,899 --> 00:10:32,262
I'LL JUST FOLLOW YOUR LEAD.
(door opens and shuts)
221
00:10:32,262 --> 00:10:33,764
OKAY.
222
00:10:33,764 --> 00:10:36,737
SORRY I'M LATE.
223
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,709
WHAT A GREAT IDEA!
224
00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:42,642
I HAVEN'T DONE THIS IN AGES--
A FUN LUNCH WITH THE GIRLS.
225
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,274
YEAH, IT'S FUN.
226
00:10:44,274 --> 00:10:45,776
WHERE WAS DAVE BORN?
227
00:10:45,776 --> 00:10:46,847
(gags and spits)
228
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,819
WHAT?
229
00:10:48,819 --> 00:10:50,781
(chuckles nervously)
WE WERE JUST WONDERING
230
00:10:50,781 --> 00:10:52,783
WHERE HE GOT
HIS GREAT... MANNERS.
231
00:10:52,783 --> 00:10:55,285
HE'S GOT THAT GENTLE BEARING
232
00:10:55,285 --> 00:10:58,088
OF A... (Southern accent)
SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN.
233
00:10:58,088 --> 00:11:00,230
NO, HE'S FROM SOMEWHERE
IN THE MIDWEST.
234
00:11:00,230 --> 00:11:01,391
"SOMEWHERE"?
235
00:11:01,391 --> 00:11:04,034
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHERE YOUR HUSBAND GREW UP?
236
00:11:04,034 --> 00:11:07,037
WELL, HE SHOWED ME A PICTURE
OF HIS CHILDHOOD HOME ONCE.
237
00:11:07,037 --> 00:11:09,669
IT HAD A COW IN IT.
(sighs) I LOST INTEREST.
238
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,872
HONESTLY, EDIE, HOW CAN
YOU BE MARRIED TO A GUY
239
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,874
AND NOT KNOW THESE THINGS?
240
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,876
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHAT?
241
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:18,348
I THINK IT'S TIME TO ORDER.
WHERE'S OUR WAITRESS?
242
00:11:18,348 --> 00:11:20,310
I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU,
MRS. MAYFAIR.
243
00:11:20,310 --> 00:11:23,013
OH, NO PROBLEM, DEBBIE.
YOU TAKE YOUR TIME.
244
00:11:23,013 --> 00:11:25,285
SHE IS SUCH A SWEET GIRL.
245
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,287
SHE'S SAVING MONEY
FOR COLLEGE.
246
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,859
OH.
247
00:11:28,859 --> 00:11:31,762
SPEAKING OF WHICH...
WHERE DID DAVE GO TO COLLEGE?
248
00:11:31,762 --> 00:11:34,394
COME ON, DEBBIE!
WHILE WE'RE YOUNG!
249
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,326
I DON'T KNOW.
250
00:11:36,326 --> 00:11:38,468
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
251
00:11:38,468 --> 00:11:41,231
WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME
ALL THESE QUESTIONS?
252
00:11:41,231 --> 00:11:44,274
I JUST THINK IT'S ODD THAT
YOU'RE MARRIED TO SOME GUY--
253
00:11:44,274 --> 00:11:47,207
YOU DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT HIM.
254
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,940
OTHER THAN THE FACT
THAT HE'S A LOVELY MAN.
255
00:11:49,940 --> 00:11:52,212
HE... (chuckles nervously)
FIXED MY SPRINKLER.
256
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,216
I DON'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE.
257
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,288
I'M GOING TO THE LADIES' ROOM.
258
00:12:02,252 --> 00:12:04,494
WELL, YOUR SUBTLE APPROACH
GOT US NOWHERE.
259
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,229
I'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT
WITH THIS BABY.
260
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,201
I HATE TO SELL HER,
BUT, YOU KNOW,
261
00:12:11,201 --> 00:12:14,204
WITH MY NEW SPORTS CAR COMING,
I DON'T REALLY NEED IT.
262
00:12:14,204 --> 00:12:17,007
YEAH. HERE SHE IS.
263
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,141
HOW'S IT LOOK?
264
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,843
BE GLAD YOU'RE BLIND.
265
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,845
WE HAVE TO BE PRACTICAL.
266
00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:28,018
WE JUST NEED SOMETHING TO GET US
FROM POINT "A" TO POINT "B."
267
00:12:28,018 --> 00:12:31,181
NOW LET'S BUY THE THING.
OKAY, JUST LET ME HANDLE THIS.
268
00:12:31,181 --> 00:12:33,183
SO... DO WE HAVE A SALE?
269
00:12:33,183 --> 00:12:35,525
(clicks tongue)
I DON'T KNOW, ANDREW.
270
00:12:35,525 --> 00:12:39,459
I MEAN... WE LIKE IT.
WE DON'T LOVE IT.
271
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,462
YEAH, WELL, NO ONE BUYS A CAR
LIKE THIS AND LOVES IT.
272
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:46,236
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE PRICE.
AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO BETTER.
273
00:12:46,236 --> 00:12:48,238
YEAH, ABOUT THAT PRICE--
274
00:12:48,238 --> 00:12:51,171
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DROP IT.
I MEAN, LOOK AT ALL THESE DENTS.
275
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:53,173
YEAH, IT'S ALSO MISSING
THREE HUBCAPS,
276
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,946
AND IT'S GOT A HANGER
FOR AN ANTENNA.
277
00:12:55,946 --> 00:12:57,978
FULL DISCLOSURE--
IT'S A PIECE OF CRAP.
278
00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,050
YOU WANT IT OR NOT?
279
00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:02,052
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
280
00:13:02,052 --> 00:13:04,014
SINCE YOUR MOM AND I ARE
DEAR FRIENDS,
281
00:13:04,014 --> 00:13:06,516
I'LL TAKE IT OFF YOUR HANDS
IF YOU KNOCK OFF $300.
282
00:13:06,516 --> 00:13:09,019
AND SINCE MY MOM AND YOU
ARE DEAR FRIENDS,
283
00:13:09,019 --> 00:13:12,162
I'LL RESIST THE URGE
TO FLIP YOU THE BIRD.
284
00:13:12,162 --> 00:13:13,793
ANDREW!
285
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:17,127
UNLESS YOU LOWER THIS PRICE,
WE'RE WALKING... RIGHT NOW.
286
00:13:17,127 --> 00:13:18,999
SEE YA.
287
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:20,470
(scoffs) I MEAN IT.
288
00:13:20,470 --> 00:13:22,002
THIS IS IT.
289
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,073
FINE.
290
00:13:23,073 --> 00:13:24,404
FINE.
291
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:31,882
(scoffs)
292
00:13:31,882 --> 00:13:35,045
OKAY, FINE. KNOCK OFF $200,
AND WE'LL GIVE YOU CASH.
293
00:13:35,045 --> 00:13:37,217
NO.
$100.
294
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,049
NO.
WH--
295
00:13:39,049 --> 00:13:42,022
(scoffs) WILL YOU AT LEAST
HAVE IT WASHED?
296
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,454
I'LL EMPTY THE ASHTRAY.
FINAL OFFER.
297
00:13:44,454 --> 00:13:46,556
(scoffs) DAMN YOU.
298
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,205
(Orson) OH!
299
00:13:55,205 --> 00:13:57,067
YOU BEAT ME AGAIN!
300
00:13:57,067 --> 00:14:00,510
CURSE YOU AND YOUR DIABOLICAL
CHECKERS PROWESS.
301
00:14:00,510 --> 00:14:02,472
(Orson and Benjamin laugh)
ALL RIGHT, ORSON.
302
00:14:02,472 --> 00:14:05,145
DON'T OVEREXCITE HIM
ON THE UPHOLSTERY.
303
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:08,348
SO, DANIELLE, WHAT WOULD YOU
LIKE ME TO MAKE AS A SIDE DISH
304
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,350
FOR YOUR WELCOME HOME PARTY?
305
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:14,084
I CAN DO ANYTHING SO LONG AS IT
COMPLEMENTS BEEF TENDERLOIN.
306
00:14:14,084 --> 00:14:16,626
ACTUALLY, WE DON'T EAT MEAT.
WE'RE VEGETARIANS.
307
00:14:18,288 --> 00:14:20,991
EXCUSE ME?
SO IS BENJAMIN.
308
00:14:26,997 --> 00:14:29,900
OH. WELL... SINCE WHEN?
309
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:33,974
SINCE I REALIZED THAT MEAT
WAS A BYPRODUCT OF MURDER.
310
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,976
WOULD IT BE MORE ACCEPTABLE
311
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:38,248
IF I SHOPPED FOR
A SUICIDAL PORK LOIN?
312
00:14:38,248 --> 00:14:40,450
BREE, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
313
00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:42,452
I'LL JUST MAKE
A NICE RISOTTO.
314
00:14:42,452 --> 00:14:43,954
THIS ISN'T ABOUT DINNER.
315
00:14:43,954 --> 00:14:46,116
THIS IS ABOUT
HER NUTTY LIBERAL POLITICS
316
00:14:46,116 --> 00:14:48,888
GETTING IN THE WAY
OF OUR GRANDSON'S NUTRITION.
317
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:53,463
HE GETS ALL THE PROTEIN HE NEEDS
FROM CHEESE AND BEANS AND TOFU.
318
00:14:53,463 --> 00:14:55,425
WELL, THIS ISN'T JUST
ABOUT NUTRITION.
319
00:14:55,425 --> 00:14:57,998
DO YOU WANT HIM
TO BE TEASED AT SCHOOL
320
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:00,900
EVERY TIME HE PULLS TOFU
OUT OF HIS LUNCHBOX?
321
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,004
ACTUALLY,
THAT WON'T BE AN ISSUE.
322
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,536
DANIELLE IS
HOMESCHOOLING HIM.
323
00:15:06,536 --> 00:15:08,438
EXCUSE ME?
324
00:15:08,438 --> 00:15:10,610
YOU'RE TEACHING HIM?
325
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:13,083
YES. I TAKE IT
YOU HAVE AN OPINION?
326
00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:15,585
SO INSTEAD OF SENDING HIM
TO A PROPER SCHOOL,
327
00:15:15,585 --> 00:15:17,547
YOU'RE GONNA
GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT
328
00:15:17,547 --> 00:15:19,919
OF YOUR STRAIGHT "C" AVERAGE?
HEY, HE'S ONLY 6,
329
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,952
AND HE'S ALREADY READING
AT A THIRD GRADE LEVEL.
330
00:15:21,952 --> 00:15:24,054
WELL, WHAT HAPPENS NEXT YEAR
WHEN HE OVERTAKES YOU?
331
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:28,528
UH, BREE... AHEM.
BEST BEHAVIOR, REMEMBER?
332
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:31,461
I AM SORRY,
BUT AM I SUPPOSED TO SIT BY
333
00:15:31,461 --> 00:15:34,204
WHILE SHE DEGRADES HIS BODY
AND HIS MIND?
334
00:15:34,204 --> 00:15:36,566
(Danielle) FINE.
(sets down glass)
335
00:15:36,566 --> 00:15:38,438
CRITICIZE MY PARENTING
ALL YOU WANT.
336
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,470
I DON'T CARE,
337
00:15:40,470 --> 00:15:43,613
BECAUSE YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE
HOW HE'S RAISED ANYMORE.
338
00:15:43,613 --> 00:15:45,475
I'M HIS MOTHER.
339
00:15:47,177 --> 00:15:49,449
OH!
340
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:52,152
AND BY THE WAY,
MARK YOUR CALENDARS,
341
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:54,154
'CAUSE SEVEN YEARS
FROM NEXT SATURDAY--
342
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:57,257
BENJAMIN'S BAR MITZVAH.
343
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:04,194
(chuckles nervously)
344
00:16:06,496 --> 00:16:11,301
♪♪♪
345
00:16:11,301 --> 00:16:12,442
HEY! (laughs)
346
00:16:14,104 --> 00:16:15,345
(chuckles) HEY.
347
00:16:15,345 --> 00:16:18,348
ISN'T THIS COOL? DAVE BROUGHT
HIS DRUMS OVER SO WE COULD JAM.
348
00:16:18,348 --> 00:16:22,282
YOUR BOY IS PRETTY GOOD.
YEAH, AND WE FIGURED OUT
WE GOT BASS, WE GOT DRUMS.
349
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:25,085
MIKE PLAYS GUITAR.
I THINK ORSON PLAYS KEYBOARDS.
350
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:28,588
YOU SEE WHERE
I AM GOING WITH THIS?
I DO,
BUT I'M HOPING I'M WRONG.
351
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,720
WE'RE GONNA START
A GARAGE BAND!
352
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:34,364
AND I WASN'T!
MAYBE IF WE GET GOOD ENOUGH,
353
00:16:34,364 --> 00:16:36,366
WE CAN EVEN GET, LIKE,
A COUPLE OF GIGS.
354
00:16:36,366 --> 00:16:39,429
HOW FUN WOULD THAT BE?
"GIGS"?
DID YOU JUST SAY "GIGS"?
355
00:16:39,429 --> 00:16:42,001
NOW ALL'S WE NEED IS
A LITTLE TIME TO PRACTICE--
356
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,003
A FEW NIGHTS A WEEK,
SOME WEEKENDS.
357
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,475
WHAT?
WELL, YEAH,
358
00:16:45,475 --> 00:16:49,339
JUST UNTIL WE GET THE RHYTHM
SECTION ALL DIALED IN.
359
00:16:49,339 --> 00:16:52,582
OKAY, I NEED TO DIAL YOU IN
TO SOME GIGS YOU ALREADY HAVE,
360
00:16:52,582 --> 00:16:55,585
WHICH ARE RUNNING A RESTAURANT,
BEING A HUSBAND AND A FATHER.
361
00:16:55,585 --> 00:16:57,617
AND I THOUGHT
YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID
362
00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:00,190
YOU WANTED TO SPEND
MORE TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY.
363
00:17:00,190 --> 00:17:02,592
BUT WE COULD PLAY CLUBS.
364
00:17:02,592 --> 00:17:05,425
I MEAN, HE'S JUST HAVING
A LITTLE FUN, LYNETTE.
365
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,427
GUYS NEED TO BLOW OFF STEAM.
366
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:09,559
COULD YOU JUST...
FOR A SEC?
367
00:17:09,559 --> 00:17:13,533
COME ON. YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT.
YOU'RE FAR TOO BUSY FOR THIS.
368
00:17:19,369 --> 00:17:20,710
WHOA.
369
00:17:20,710 --> 00:17:24,444
YOU CAN'T JUST
DECIDE FOR ME LIKE THAT.
370
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,516
I MEAN,
IF I WANNA PLAY BASS,
371
00:17:26,516 --> 00:17:28,818
I WILL PLAY BASS.
372
00:17:28,818 --> 00:17:30,520
I'M NOT HURTING ANYBODY.
373
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,522
THOSE OF US WITH HEARING
BEG TO DIFFER. (laughs)
374
00:17:32,522 --> 00:17:34,124
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
375
00:17:34,124 --> 00:17:36,226
PLEASE LEAVE
OUR REHEARSAL SPACE.
376
00:17:36,226 --> 00:17:38,728
OH, COME ON, TOM.
THIS IS NOT YOUR--
377
00:17:38,728 --> 00:17:42,592
(playing Deep Purple's
"Smoke on the Water")
378
00:17:42,592 --> 00:17:45,595
(drums playing rhythm)
379
00:17:57,247 --> 00:17:59,249
(Juanita) IT'S MINE!
NO!
380
00:17:59,249 --> 00:18:01,251
GIVE IT! GIVE IT!
NO! NO!
381
00:18:01,251 --> 00:18:03,253
GIVE IT TO ME! IT'S MINE!
DON'T!
382
00:18:03,253 --> 00:18:05,255
GUYS! HEY!
KNOCK IT OFF BACK THERE.
383
00:18:05,255 --> 00:18:08,318
(girls speak indistinctly)
384
00:18:08,318 --> 00:18:12,091
(engine sputtering)
385
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,093
(horn honks)
386
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,196
(horn blares)
387
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:17,797
(sputtering continues)
388
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,299
(coughs)
389
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,731
OH, GOD. WHAT NOW?
(coughs)
390
00:18:24,774 --> 00:18:28,107
(steam hissing)
391
00:18:30,180 --> 00:18:33,313
OH. HEY. WHAT'S UP?
392
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,315
YOU SOLD ME A LEMON.
393
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,886
THAT'S WHAT'S UP.
394
00:18:36,886 --> 00:18:38,888
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
395
00:18:38,888 --> 00:18:40,220
YOUR CAR!
396
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:43,793
I TOOK IT TO A MECHANIC,
WHO TOLD ME THE RADIATOR'S SHOT.
397
00:18:43,793 --> 00:18:45,455
OH. THAT. YEAH. (chuckles)
398
00:18:45,455 --> 00:18:48,698
IT'S BEEN GIVING ME TROUBLE
FOR YEARS. JUST USE THE JUG.
399
00:18:48,698 --> 00:18:50,200
WHAT JUG?
400
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,203
OH, IT'S IN THE TRUNK.
YOU JUST KEEP IT FULL OF WATER,
401
00:18:53,203 --> 00:18:55,665
AND WHEN THE RADIATOR OVERHEATS,
YOU FILL IT UP.
402
00:18:55,665 --> 00:18:57,737
OH, AND, UH,
TRY NOT GOING UP HILLS
403
00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,510
AND STAY IN THE SHADE
AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
404
00:19:00,510 --> 00:19:03,613
OKAY, I-I CAN'T DRIVE AROUND
AVOIDING GRAVITY AND THE SUN.
405
00:19:03,613 --> 00:19:04,914
WELL, SORRY.
406
00:19:04,914 --> 00:19:08,518
IF YOU WANT A CAR WITH NO FLAWS,
BUY A NEW ONE.
407
00:19:08,518 --> 00:19:10,520
OR I COULD
GET THE RADIATOR FIXED,
408
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:13,683
WHICH IS GONNA COST $300,
WHICH YOU ARE PAYING FOR.
409
00:19:13,683 --> 00:19:15,154
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
410
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,487
REMEMBER FULL DISCLOSURE?
CRAP?
411
00:19:17,487 --> 00:19:20,430
THIS IS YOUR CAR.
IT'S YOUR PROBLEM.
412
00:19:20,430 --> 00:19:23,533
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S IT.
I WANNA TALK TO YOUR MOTHER.
413
00:19:23,533 --> 00:19:25,895
UH, WELL, SHE'S IN A MEETING
RIGHT NOW.
414
00:19:25,895 --> 00:19:28,598
CAN I TAKE A MESSAGE?
DAMN IT, ANDREW.
415
00:19:28,598 --> 00:19:31,901
YOU TELL BREE TO CALL ME
BY THE END OF THE DAY.
416
00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:34,804
MAY I ASK
WHAT IT'S REGARDING?
417
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:40,450
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT
MORE LATER, BUDDY.
418
00:19:40,450 --> 00:19:43,553
WHY DON'T YOU GO ON OUTSIDE
AND PLAY FOR A WHILE?
OKAY.
419
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:49,289
WELL, WHAT DID HE SAY?
WELL, HE STILL WON'T TELL ME
WHO'S PICKING ON HIM,
420
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:53,663
BUT HE DID ASK ME
TO TEACH HIM HOW TO FIGHT.
HE'S ONLY 5.
I DON'T WANT HIM FIGHTING.
421
00:19:53,663 --> 00:19:55,525
I'M SORRY, BUT EVERY BOY
422
00:19:55,525 --> 00:19:58,528
HAS TO LEARN HOW
TO THROW A PUNCH EVENTUALLY.
UGH. (sighs)
423
00:19:58,528 --> 00:20:00,930
YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANNA
GIVE HIM A LEG UP,
424
00:20:00,930 --> 00:20:03,803
YOU COULD TEACH HIM
A LITTLE CAPOEIRA.
CAPO-WHAT?
425
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,805
OH,
IT'S A BRAZILIAN MARTIAL ART
426
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,537
THAT INCORPORATES DANCE.
427
00:20:07,537 --> 00:20:09,509
YEAH, 'CAUSE THERE'S
NOTHING SCARIER
428
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:13,513
THAN A GUY COMING AT YA
WITH JAZZ HANDS.
THAT'S FUNNY, BUT ACTUALLY,
429
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:15,715
THE DANCE PART'S TO
CATCH YOUR OPPONENT OFF GUARD.
430
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:18,718
LIKE THAT?
NO, THERE'S
A LITTLE MORE NUANCE TO IT.
431
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,620
OOH!
LIKE THAT.
432
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,792
WHERE'S THE "DANCE" PART?
(grunts)
433
00:20:22,792 --> 00:20:25,255
OH! (laughs)
THERE IT IS, GINGER!
434
00:20:25,255 --> 00:20:28,598
YOU KNOW WHAT, BOYS?
NOT IN THE HOUSE.
435
00:20:29,699 --> 00:20:34,404
OH, MY GOD!
436
00:20:34,404 --> 00:20:36,406
GIVE IT BACK! IT'S MY BALL!
IT'S MY BALL NOW.
437
00:20:36,406 --> 00:20:38,538
HEY! YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE.
438
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,542
OH! HONEY!
439
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:45,445
IS THAT WHO'S BEEN
PICKING ON YOU? JUANITA SOLIS?
440
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:46,776
UH-HUH.
441
00:20:46,776 --> 00:20:49,379
WELL, SHE IS GOING TO GET
A BIG SURPRISE,
442
00:20:49,379 --> 00:20:50,880
BECAUSE YOUR DADDY
443
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,553
IS ABOUT TO TURN YOU
INTO A KILLING MACHINE.
444
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:56,456
UH, M.J., CAN I TALK
TO YOUR MOM FOR A SECOND?
445
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:58,388
MM-HMM.
446
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,932
WHAT?
447
00:21:02,932 --> 00:21:04,964
I CAN'T TEACH HIM
TO HIT A GIRL.
448
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,467
THAT'S NOT JUST ANY GIRL.
YOU SAW HER.
449
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,569
SHE COULD TAKE DOWN
A SMALL DEER.
450
00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:11,401
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
451
00:21:11,401 --> 00:21:13,403
IF IT WEARS A SKIRT,
IT'S OFF-LIMITS.
452
00:21:13,403 --> 00:21:14,704
THAT IS SEXIST.
453
00:21:14,704 --> 00:21:17,407
IF FEMINISM MEANS ANYTHING,
IT'S THAT IT'S OKAY
454
00:21:17,407 --> 00:21:19,649
FOR A BIG, MEAN GIRL
TO GET HER BUTT KICKED.
455
00:21:19,649 --> 00:21:21,381
YOU, TEACH HIM
456
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:23,813
ONE OF THOSE BRAZILIAN
KUNG FU CHA-CHA THINGS.
457
00:21:23,813 --> 00:21:25,655
I'M WITH MIKE.
458
00:21:25,655 --> 00:21:27,987
YOU CAN'T HIT GIRLS.
459
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:30,390
AH! COUPLE OF WUSSES.
460
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:32,061
I'LL HANDLE IT MYSELF.
461
00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:37,066
OOPS!
DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.
462
00:21:37,066 --> 00:21:40,330
JUST FOR THAT, I'M BREAKING
MY RULE ABOUT NOT HITTING GIRLS.
463
00:21:42,031 --> 00:21:44,033
GABY, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
464
00:21:44,033 --> 00:21:46,636
I JUST SAW JUANITA
PUSH M.J. DOWN.
465
00:21:46,636 --> 00:21:47,977
REALLY?
466
00:21:47,977 --> 00:21:49,038
REALLY.
467
00:21:49,038 --> 00:21:52,442
IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME.
JUANITA'S BEEN BULLYING HIM.
468
00:21:52,442 --> 00:21:55,314
WOW. I'M SORRY.
I'LL TALK TO HER.
469
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,686
(sighs) THANK YOU.
470
00:21:56,686 --> 00:21:59,819
AND DON'T WORRY. NO ONE WILL
HEAR ABOUT THIS FROM ME.
471
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:02,051
HEAR WHAT?
472
00:22:02,051 --> 00:22:04,394
THAT M.J.'s GETTING BEAT UP
BY A LITTLE GIRL.
473
00:22:04,394 --> 00:22:06,556
WELL...
474
00:22:06,556 --> 00:22:07,927
A GIRL.
475
00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:10,099
ARE YOU SUGGESTING
476
00:22:10,099 --> 00:22:12,602
THAT JUANITA
IS FAT FOR HER AGE?
477
00:22:12,602 --> 00:22:15,104
GABY, JUANITA'S FAT
FOR YOUR AGE.
478
00:22:15,104 --> 00:22:17,066
(scoffs) YEAH?
WELL, LET'S FACE IT.
479
00:22:17,066 --> 00:22:18,908
M.J. COULD GET BEATEN UP
BY A KITTEN.
480
00:22:18,908 --> 00:22:20,570
YOU KNOW WHAT?
481
00:22:20,570 --> 00:22:23,573
MAYBE YOU COULD
TEACH YOUR DAUGHTER
482
00:22:23,573 --> 00:22:27,377
HOW TO USE HER WORDS
AND NOT HER FISTS.
483
00:22:27,377 --> 00:22:30,980
YEAH? OR MAYBE YOU COULD
TEACH YOUR SON TO GROW A PAIR!
484
00:22:32,552 --> 00:22:34,353
UGH!
485
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:37,356
(children laughing and shouting)
486
00:22:40,490 --> 00:22:41,961
WHAT YOU LOOKING AT?
487
00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:44,434
OH, JUST SOME OLD PICTURES.
488
00:22:44,434 --> 00:22:46,936
CAN YOU GUESS
WHO THAT LITTLE GIRL IS?
489
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,773
THAT'S YOUR MOM WAY BACK
WHEN SHE WAS YOUR AGE.
490
00:22:53,773 --> 00:22:55,505
WHAT'S SHE EATING?
491
00:22:55,505 --> 00:22:57,947
OH! UH, A HOT DOG.
492
00:22:57,947 --> 00:22:59,849
NO WAY.
493
00:22:59,849 --> 00:23:02,151
OH, YES.
YOUR MOTHER LOVED HOT DOGS.
494
00:23:02,151 --> 00:23:04,884
EVERY DAY AT LUNCHTIME,
SHE'D SAY TO ME,
495
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,886
"MOMMY, I WANT A HOT DOG."
496
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:09,789
HOW COME
SHE DOESN'T EAT THEM NOW?
497
00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:11,791
WELL, BECAUSE
SHE'S ALL GROWN-UP.
498
00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:13,763
YOU SEE,
HOT DOGS AND HAMBURGERS
499
00:23:13,763 --> 00:23:15,765
ARE WHAT MAKE
LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS
500
00:23:15,765 --> 00:23:17,767
GROW UP TO BE
BIG AND STRONG.
501
00:23:17,767 --> 00:23:20,800
AND NOW THAT SHE'S GROWN-UP,
SHE DOESN'T NEED THEM ANYMORE.
502
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,102
DOESN'T MOMMY WANT ME
TO BE BIG AND STRONG?
503
00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:25,935
I'VE BEEN ASKING MYSELF THAT
ALL DAY.
504
00:23:25,935 --> 00:23:28,578
MAYBE SHE'S AFRAID
IF YOU GET BIG,
505
00:23:28,578 --> 00:23:31,641
YOU'LL LEAVE HOME
AND GO PLAY FOR THE RED SOX.
506
00:23:31,641 --> 00:23:35,485
BUT I WANT TO GET BIG.
I WANT TO PLAY BASEBALL.
507
00:23:35,485 --> 00:23:38,087
OH. WELL...
508
00:23:38,087 --> 00:23:39,749
IN THAT CASE...
509
00:23:43,853 --> 00:23:45,755
CAN I?
510
00:23:45,755 --> 00:23:48,598
YOU HAVE TO PROMISE
NOT TO TELL YOUR MOMMY.
511
00:23:48,598 --> 00:23:49,959
OKAY.
512
00:23:54,764 --> 00:23:57,767
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
513
00:23:57,767 --> 00:23:59,969
IT'S LIKE TOFU,
ONLY BETTER.
514
00:23:59,969 --> 00:24:02,642
YES.
515
00:24:02,642 --> 00:24:04,874
YES, IT IS.
516
00:24:13,753 --> 00:24:15,224
TWO, THREE, FOUR!
517
00:24:15,224 --> 00:24:18,928
(playing "Smoke on the Water")
518
00:24:18,928 --> 00:24:23,132
WHEN TOM SCAVO THREW HIMSELF
INTO HIS NEW HOBBY...
519
00:24:23,132 --> 00:24:25,164
♪♪♪
520
00:24:25,164 --> 00:24:26,666
HIS WIFE TOLD HERSELF
521
00:24:26,666 --> 00:24:29,939
IT WAS A PHASE,
AND IT WOULD PASS QUICKLY.
522
00:24:29,939 --> 00:24:32,702
♪♪♪
523
00:24:32,702 --> 00:24:36,105
BUT THREE HOURS LATER,
SHE REALIZED
524
00:24:36,105 --> 00:24:39,909
IT COULD NOT
PASS QUICKLY ENOUGH.
525
00:24:42,211 --> 00:24:44,213
SO LYNETTE BEGAN TO PLOT
526
00:24:44,213 --> 00:24:47,987
AGAINST HER HUSBAND'S
INSTRUMENT OF TORTURE.
527
00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:51,661
(gasps)
OOH! CAREFUL, HONEY.
528
00:24:51,661 --> 00:24:52,792
SORRY.
529
00:24:52,792 --> 00:24:55,264
YOU COULD BREAK
YOUR DAD'S GUITAR AND...
530
00:24:55,264 --> 00:24:58,968
IT WAS AT THAT MOMENT
HER DAUGHTER
531
00:24:58,968 --> 00:25:03,272
PROVIDED HER AN IDEA
FOR A... SIMPLE ACCIDENT...
532
00:25:05,104 --> 00:25:08,838
AND... A CLEAN ALIBI.
533
00:25:12,712 --> 00:25:15,514
(car approaching)
534
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:17,086
(loud crunch, brakes screech)
535
00:25:17,086 --> 00:25:18,918
(Tom) DAMN IT!
536
00:25:18,918 --> 00:25:21,090
(car door opens and slams)
537
00:25:21,090 --> 00:25:23,252
HEY, IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
OH, MY!
538
00:25:23,252 --> 00:25:25,224
IT WAS LYING
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR!
539
00:25:25,224 --> 00:25:28,728
HOW IN THE WORLD
DID THAT HAPPEN?
HAS PENNY BEEN PLAYING
IN HERE AGAIN?
540
00:25:28,728 --> 00:25:30,700
I'VE TOLD HER
A MILLION TIMES!
541
00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:33,302
NOW I'M SURE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT,
TOM. PLEASE DON'T YELL AT HER.
542
00:25:33,302 --> 00:25:35,534
THIS WAS A $1,600 BASS.
543
00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:38,137
I CAN'T AFFORD
TO REPLACE IT.
544
00:25:38,137 --> 00:25:40,169
PENNY LYNN SCAVO!
545
00:25:40,169 --> 00:25:41,741
WHERE IS SHE?
546
00:25:41,741 --> 00:25:44,974
OH, TOM!
547
00:25:44,974 --> 00:25:47,316
SHE'S UP IN HER ROOM.
548
00:25:53,252 --> 00:25:56,155
I'M GONNA GO PLAY OUTSIDE.
549
00:25:56,155 --> 00:25:58,928
OH! WAIT.
YOUR FORGOT YOUR WHISTLE.
550
00:25:58,928 --> 00:26:00,259
OKAY, SWEETIE.
551
00:26:00,259 --> 00:26:02,662
THIS IS JUST TO BE
ON THE SAFE SIDE.
552
00:26:02,662 --> 00:26:06,095
IF JUANITA COMES AROUND,
YOU JUST BLOW IT.
553
00:26:06,095 --> 00:26:08,267
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
OKAY.
554
00:26:08,267 --> 00:26:09,969
GOOD BOY.
555
00:26:09,969 --> 00:26:11,270
(door opens and shuts)
556
00:26:18,107 --> 00:26:20,079
(whistle tweets)
557
00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:21,050
OH!
558
00:26:21,050 --> 00:26:23,983
(whistle tweets)
HEY, GIVE ME BACK MY WHISTLE!
559
00:26:23,983 --> 00:26:29,018
(blowing whistle)
JUANITA SOLIS, DON'T YOU MOVE!
YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE!
560
00:26:30,860 --> 00:26:32,591
WHAT'S ON YOUR HEAD?
561
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:33,993
NEVER MIND.
562
00:26:33,993 --> 00:26:36,095
WHAT DID YOU DO TO M.J.?
563
00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:38,597
HE WOULDN'T LET ME
BLOW HIS WHISTLE.
564
00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:40,930
SO YOUR SOLUTION
WAS TO PUSH HIM DOWN?
565
00:26:40,930 --> 00:26:42,902
DO YOU THINK THAT'S NICE?
566
00:26:42,902 --> 00:26:46,175
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
IF SOMEONE DID THAT TO YOU?
I WOULDN'T CARE.
567
00:26:46,175 --> 00:26:48,908
OH, REALLY?
YOU DON'T THINK IT WOULD HURT?
568
00:26:48,908 --> 00:26:50,379
EVEN IF IT DID...
569
00:26:50,379 --> 00:26:54,043
(whines) I'M NOT A CRYBABY
LIKE M.J.
570
00:26:56,916 --> 00:26:59,348
(gasps)
571
00:26:59,348 --> 00:27:01,791
I'M SORRY.
572
00:27:01,791 --> 00:27:05,024
JUANITA, I JUST WANTED YOU
TO SEE HOW IT FELT.
573
00:27:05,024 --> 00:27:06,856
ARE YOU OKAY?
574
00:27:06,856 --> 00:27:08,357
SUSAN, I SAW THAT!
575
00:27:08,357 --> 00:27:10,359
KIDS, GET INSIDE!
576
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:13,062
OKAY, FIRST OFF,
IT WASN'T AS BAD AS IT LOOKED.
577
00:27:13,062 --> 00:27:15,735
REALLY? 'CAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE
YOU BODY-SLAMMED MY DAUGHTER.
578
00:27:15,735 --> 00:27:18,668
I BARELY TAPPED HER.
SHE WAS MILKING IT.
579
00:27:18,668 --> 00:27:21,640
THAT'S YOUR DEFENSE? YOU WERE
ONLY ASSAULTING HER "A LITTLE"?
580
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,013
I WAS TRYING TO TEACH HER
NOT TO BE A BULLY--
581
00:27:24,013 --> 00:27:26,676
SOMETHING SHE SHOULD HAVE
LEARNED FROM HER MOTHER.
582
00:27:26,676 --> 00:27:29,679
WELL, I'M SORRY. I WAS TOO BUSY
TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO HER
583
00:27:29,679 --> 00:27:32,922
WHY M.J. DOESN'T WEAR A DRESS
LIKE ALL THE OTHER LITTLE GIRLS.
584
00:27:32,922 --> 00:27:34,724
THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER.
585
00:27:34,724 --> 00:27:37,727
TELL BOB AND LEE THAT I'LL PAY
FOR THE DENT IN THEIR LAWN.
586
00:27:38,888 --> 00:27:40,259
OH!
587
00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:42,091
YOU DID NOT!
588
00:27:42,091 --> 00:27:43,993
I DID.
589
00:27:43,993 --> 00:27:45,765
(sighs)
590
00:27:45,765 --> 00:27:47,666
YOU KNOW WHAT?
591
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:50,299
WE'VE BOTH BEEN
INCREDIBLY CHILDISH HERE,
592
00:27:50,299 --> 00:27:53,072
AND IT IS TIME ONE OF US
TOOK THE HIGH ROAD,
593
00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:55,144
SO I AM NOW
GOING TO WALK AWAY.
594
00:27:55,144 --> 00:27:57,146
PLEASE TAKE NOTE
OF THIS CONFLICT RESOLUTION
595
00:27:57,146 --> 00:28:00,149
AND TRY TO PASS THE LESSON
ON TO YOUR DAUGHTER.
596
00:28:00,149 --> 00:28:02,852
YOU CAN DYE THAT HAIR
ALL YOU WANT,
597
00:28:02,852 --> 00:28:06,455
BUT THE GRAY'S
JUST GONNA KEEP COMING.
598
00:28:06,455 --> 00:28:10,720
(both grunting)
599
00:28:15,364 --> 00:28:18,728
AND THEY CALL ME WHITE TRASH.
600
00:28:23,472 --> 00:28:24,834
HEY.
601
00:28:24,834 --> 00:28:27,737
YOU GOT A MINUTE?
YEAH. SURE. COME ON IN.
602
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:32,181
I, UH, I HEARD THERE WAS
A LITTLE ACCIDENT.
603
00:28:32,181 --> 00:28:33,342
OH.
604
00:28:33,342 --> 00:28:34,844
SO...
605
00:28:34,844 --> 00:28:37,216
I GOT THIS FOR TOM.
606
00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:39,488
YOU BOUGHT TOM A NEW BASS?
607
00:28:39,488 --> 00:28:42,321
IT'S NOT AS SMOOTH
AS HIS OLD ONE, BUT IT'S GOOD.
608
00:28:42,321 --> 00:28:44,754
WE CAN'T ACCEPT THIS.
609
00:28:44,754 --> 00:28:47,356
IT'S MOSTLY SELFISH ON MY PART.
I WAS HAVING TOO MUCH FUN.
610
00:28:47,356 --> 00:28:48,828
WELL, SORRY.
611
00:28:48,828 --> 00:28:51,330
BUT MAYBE YOU COULD
GO SKATEBOARDING WITH ORSON.
612
00:28:51,330 --> 00:28:53,763
ALL RIGHT.
613
00:28:53,763 --> 00:28:56,205
FORGET ABOUT ME.
614
00:28:56,205 --> 00:28:57,867
TOM WAS HAVING FUN.
615
00:28:57,867 --> 00:29:00,870
AND FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN,
HE NEEDS IT.
616
00:29:00,870 --> 00:29:02,942
UH-HUH.
617
00:29:02,942 --> 00:29:05,945
AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
YOU KNOW WHAT MY HUSBAND NEEDS?
618
00:29:05,945 --> 00:29:08,447
JUST SOMETHING THAT I SAW
THE OTHER DAY,
619
00:29:08,447 --> 00:29:11,350
WHEN YOU WERE MAKING HIM
GET RID OF ALL HIS THINGS.
620
00:29:11,350 --> 00:29:13,282
YOU MEAN HIS JUNK?
621
00:29:13,282 --> 00:29:15,284
IT MAY BE JUNK TO YOU,
622
00:29:15,284 --> 00:29:17,156
BUT TO TOM...
623
00:29:17,156 --> 00:29:20,159
WELL, THAT WAS STUFF
HE WAS GONNA GET AROUND TO.
624
00:29:22,331 --> 00:29:25,434
YOU KNOW WHAT
A MIDLIFE CRISIS IS?
625
00:29:25,434 --> 00:29:27,897
I'M MARRIED TO A 45-YEAR-OLD MAN
WHO HAS A RED CONVERTIBLE.
626
00:29:27,897 --> 00:29:29,899
YEAH, I THINK I KNOW.
627
00:29:29,899 --> 00:29:34,103
BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT HAPPENS?
A MAN GETS TO A CERTAIN AGE,
628
00:29:34,103 --> 00:29:39,278
AND HE REALIZES...
HE'S GONNA DIE SOMEDAY.
629
00:29:39,278 --> 00:29:40,409
REALLY DIE.
630
00:29:40,409 --> 00:29:46,455
AND WHAT'S WORSE IS THAT HE'S
EVERYTHING HE'S EVER GONNA BE.
631
00:29:46,455 --> 00:29:50,259
HE'S NEVER GONNA BE RICH.
632
00:29:50,259 --> 00:29:52,261
HE'S NEVER GONNA
CLIMB A MOUNTAIN.
633
00:29:53,923 --> 00:29:56,966
NOW SOME GUYS DO BAD THINGS
634
00:29:56,966 --> 00:29:59,829
WHEN THEY GET THOSE THOUGHTS
IN THEIR HEADS.
635
00:29:59,829 --> 00:30:01,330
BY COMPARISON,
636
00:30:01,330 --> 00:30:03,933
PLAYING IN A GARAGE BAND--
WELL...
637
00:30:03,933 --> 00:30:06,005
IT SEEMS PRETTY HARMLESS.
638
00:30:09,008 --> 00:30:10,840
AH.
639
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,312
SO... NOW MY MARRIAGE
IS IN TROUBLE,
640
00:30:13,312 --> 00:30:16,315
AND YOU'RE GONNA SAVE IT
BY GIVING TOM A BASS?
641
00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:20,289
NO. NO. I'M NOT.
642
00:30:22,251 --> 00:30:24,924
YOU ARE.
643
00:30:45,144 --> 00:30:46,916
(classical music playing)
644
00:30:46,916 --> 00:30:49,879
MOST OF THE GUYS IN MY CLASS
WENT INTO CORPORATE LAW,
645
00:30:49,879 --> 00:30:51,881
BUT I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING
646
00:30:51,881 --> 00:30:53,282
THAT WOULD INFLUENCE
ENVIRONMENTAL POLICY.
647
00:30:53,282 --> 00:30:55,284
THAT'S HOW HE ENDED UP
AT THE E.P.A.
648
00:30:55,284 --> 00:30:57,386
OH. HMM.
649
00:31:01,130 --> 00:31:05,064
SO, LEO,
WHERE DID YOU STUDY LAW?
650
00:31:05,064 --> 00:31:06,195
CORNELL.
651
00:31:06,195 --> 00:31:08,067
NOW I'M JEALOUS.
652
00:31:08,067 --> 00:31:10,099
I ALWAYS WISHED THAT I'D GONE
TO A SCHOOL LIKE CORNELL.
653
00:31:10,099 --> 00:31:12,401
BUT... IT JUST WASN'T
IN THE CARDS FOR ME.
654
00:31:12,401 --> 00:31:14,243
HOW ABOUT YOU, DAVE?
655
00:31:14,243 --> 00:31:17,176
ME? NO.
WASN'T IN MY CARDS, EITHER.
656
00:31:17,176 --> 00:31:18,877
SO WHERE DID YOU GO?
657
00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:22,051
AFTER LISTENING TO LEO,
I'D BE EMBARRASSED TO TELL YOU.
658
00:31:22,051 --> 00:31:23,052
SO... E.P.A.
659
00:31:23,052 --> 00:31:25,514
WHAT'S YOUR OPINION
ON GLOBAL WARMING--
660
00:31:25,514 --> 00:31:27,116
FACT OR FICTION?
661
00:31:27,116 --> 00:31:28,617
HOLD ON, DARLING.
662
00:31:28,617 --> 00:31:30,619
MRS. McCLUSKEY
ASKED YOU A QUESTION.
663
00:31:30,619 --> 00:31:33,062
TELL HER
WHERE YOU WENT TO SCHOOL.
664
00:31:36,966 --> 00:31:40,229
OH, EDIE, I THINK SHE WAS
JUST MAKING CONVERSATION. SO--
665
00:31:40,229 --> 00:31:43,172
OKAY, THEN WHY DON'T YOU
TELL ME WHERE YOU WENT?
666
00:31:43,172 --> 00:31:45,174
AFTER ALL, I AM YOUR WIFE.
SHOULDN'T I KNOW?
667
00:31:53,682 --> 00:31:57,216
ACTUALLY,
I DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE.
668
00:32:00,149 --> 00:32:02,651
I TOOK A JOB
OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL
669
00:32:02,651 --> 00:32:05,424
BECAUSE MY FAMILY
WAS HAVING A HARD TIME.
670
00:32:07,426 --> 00:32:09,928
NOT HAVING A DEGREE
IS SOMETHING THAT HAS ALWAYS
671
00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:11,430
BEEN EMBARRASSING TO ME,
672
00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:14,363
ESPECIALLY WHEN
I'M WITH PEOPLE WHO DO.
673
00:32:19,368 --> 00:32:21,370
SO, MY DARLING,
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
674
00:32:21,370 --> 00:32:23,372
YOU'D LIKE TO QUIZ ME ABOUT
IN PUBLIC?
675
00:32:23,372 --> 00:32:25,374
MY... CHILDHOOD STUTTERING?
676
00:32:25,374 --> 00:32:27,646
MY DAD'S DRINKING PROBLEMS?
677
00:32:31,620 --> 00:32:35,084
NO. I'M... GOOD.
678
00:32:36,625 --> 00:32:38,657
(doorbell rings)
679
00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:42,661
I CAME TO SAY I'M SORRY.
680
00:32:42,661 --> 00:32:45,164
YOU ATTACKED MY CHILD
AND THEN ME.
681
00:32:45,164 --> 00:32:47,666
WHY SHOULD I EVEN
LISTEN TO YOU?
682
00:32:47,666 --> 00:32:49,598
I BROUGHT BOOZE.
683
00:32:49,598 --> 00:32:51,970
COME ON IN.
684
00:32:53,672 --> 00:32:56,305
LIKE, I HAVE THIS RULE--
685
00:32:56,305 --> 00:32:57,976
NO TOY GUNS.
686
00:32:57,976 --> 00:33:00,709
EXCEPT EVERYTHING
THAT M.J. PICKS UP--
687
00:33:00,709 --> 00:33:04,353
WHETHER IT'S A HAIRBRUSH,
A HANGER, EVERYTHING--
688
00:33:04,353 --> 00:33:07,686
HE PRETENDS IT'S A GUN.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?
HE'S A BOY.
689
00:33:07,686 --> 00:33:09,588
THAT'S MY POINT!
690
00:33:09,588 --> 00:33:11,620
I KNOW NOTHING
ABOUT RAISING BOYS.
691
00:33:11,620 --> 00:33:14,323
AND I THINK M.J.
HAS FIGURED THIS OUT,
692
00:33:14,323 --> 00:33:17,466
SO HE GOES STRAIGHT TO MIKE
WHENEVER THERE'S A PROBLEM.
693
00:33:17,466 --> 00:33:19,568
BUT THAT'S OKAY.
MIKE'S A GREAT DAD.
694
00:33:19,568 --> 00:33:23,072
YEAH, SURE,
ON ALTERNATE WEEKENDS.
695
00:33:23,072 --> 00:33:25,174
THAT'S FINE...
696
00:33:25,174 --> 00:33:27,476
UNTIL... (sighs)
M.J. NEEDS HIS DADDY,
697
00:33:27,476 --> 00:33:29,438
AND HIS DADDY'S NOT THERE.
698
00:33:29,438 --> 00:33:33,382
SUSAN, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
699
00:33:33,382 --> 00:33:35,444
WELL, WE SPLIT UP,
700
00:33:35,444 --> 00:33:38,447
SO IT'S AT LEAST HALF MY FAULT
ANY WAY YOU SLICE IT.
701
00:33:38,447 --> 00:33:41,450
WELL, IF IT'S
ANY CONSOLATION,
702
00:33:41,450 --> 00:33:44,593
CARLOS IS A HANDS-ON,
FULL-TIME DAD,
703
00:33:44,593 --> 00:33:47,496
AND I STILL FEEL LIKE
I'M NOT GETTING THE JOB DONE,
704
00:33:47,496 --> 00:33:50,359
LIKE... I'M NOT
PREPARING THEM ENOUGH.
705
00:33:50,359 --> 00:33:53,402
PREPARING THEM FOR WHAT?
706
00:33:53,402 --> 00:33:55,404
FOR HOW HARD LIFE IS.
707
00:33:55,404 --> 00:33:57,406
I MEAN, I HAVE TO ADMIT,
708
00:33:57,406 --> 00:33:59,408
WHEN YOU TOLD ME
JUANITA WAS BULLYING M.J.,
709
00:33:59,408 --> 00:34:01,410
MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS,
THANK GOD!
710
00:34:01,410 --> 00:34:03,342
LET HER DO THE PUSHING,
711
00:34:03,342 --> 00:34:05,644
JUST AS LONG
AS SHE'S NOT A VICTIM.
712
00:34:05,644 --> 00:34:09,318
WELL, I DON'T SEE
ANY KID OF YOURS BEING A VICTIM.
713
00:34:09,318 --> 00:34:12,151
(laughs) YOU'RE
THE STRONGEST PERSON I KNOW.
714
00:34:14,483 --> 00:34:17,386
I USED TO BE.
715
00:34:17,386 --> 00:34:18,627
(sighs deeply)
716
00:34:18,627 --> 00:34:20,629
LOOK AT MY LIFE, SUSAN.
717
00:34:20,629 --> 00:34:23,092
I...
718
00:34:23,092 --> 00:34:25,394
I'VE BEEN BEATEN DOWN.
719
00:34:27,296 --> 00:34:29,598
WELL, I THOUGHT
I HAD YOU BEATEN TODAY,
720
00:34:29,598 --> 00:34:32,601
AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW,
I WAS EATING GRASS.
721
00:34:32,601 --> 00:34:35,204
(chuckles)
722
00:34:35,204 --> 00:34:38,076
TODAY DOESN'T COUNT.
TODAY I WAS MAD.
723
00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:40,309
WELL...
724
00:34:40,309 --> 00:34:42,611
MAYBE YOU NEED TO GET MAD
MORE OFTEN.
725
00:34:46,515 --> 00:34:48,757
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
726
00:34:48,757 --> 00:34:50,819
THIS IS NICE.
727
00:34:50,819 --> 00:34:53,091
WE SHOULD RUMBLE
ALL THE TIME.
728
00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:54,393
(both laugh)
729
00:34:54,393 --> 00:34:57,266
TO SUSAN MAYER--
730
00:34:57,266 --> 00:34:58,597
GOOD MOM.
731
00:34:58,597 --> 00:35:00,829
TO GABRIELLE SOLIS--
732
00:35:00,829 --> 00:35:02,501
ANOTHER GOOD MOM.
733
00:35:02,501 --> 00:35:04,333
(clink)
734
00:35:04,333 --> 00:35:06,735
(Juanita) MOMMY, WE'RE HUNGRY!
735
00:35:06,735 --> 00:35:11,140
SO?! THERE'S WAFFLES
IN THE FREEZER!
736
00:35:11,140 --> 00:35:15,184
AND GET MOMMY SOME ICE!
737
00:35:16,515 --> 00:35:18,187
ISN'T THIS NICE?
738
00:35:18,187 --> 00:35:20,189
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS,
739
00:35:20,189 --> 00:35:22,591
MY FAMILY IS ALL HERE
UNDER THE SAME ROOF.
740
00:35:22,591 --> 00:35:25,294
HERE'S TO MANY MORE MEALS
TOGETHER.
741
00:35:25,294 --> 00:35:27,456
YES.
(Edie) AW. WELCOME HOME.
CHEERS.
742
00:35:27,456 --> 00:35:29,158
(glasses clink)
743
00:35:29,158 --> 00:35:31,160
I DON'T FEEL GOOD, DANIELLE.
744
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:32,901
(under breath) "DANIELLE"?
(grunts)
745
00:35:32,901 --> 00:35:37,266
I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK.
LET'S GET YOU
TO THE POWDER ROOM.
746
00:35:39,238 --> 00:35:41,340
(vomits)
747
00:35:43,342 --> 00:35:45,344
HERE WE ARE--
748
00:35:45,344 --> 00:35:47,476
MUSHROOM RISOTTO.
749
00:35:47,476 --> 00:35:49,878
THERE'S AN UNFORTUNATE
COINCIDENCE.
750
00:35:49,878 --> 00:35:52,421
I'M SO SORRY, MOM.
I'LL CLEAN IT UP.
751
00:35:52,421 --> 00:35:54,923
NO, UM, YOU TAKE BENJY UPSTAIRS.
I'LL GET IT.
752
00:35:54,923 --> 00:35:58,827
ORSON, COULD YOU GET THE MOP,
PLEASE?
753
00:36:00,589 --> 00:36:02,891
OH, MY GOD. IS THAT MEAT?
754
00:36:02,891 --> 00:36:04,433
NO!
755
00:36:04,433 --> 00:36:06,164
OF COURSE NOT.
756
00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:08,166
DOES THIS LOOK LIKE MEAT
TO YOU?
757
00:36:08,166 --> 00:36:10,369
IT'S... HARD TO TELL.
758
00:36:10,369 --> 00:36:11,770
JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR,
759
00:36:11,770 --> 00:36:13,772
WHAT I'M ABOUT TO THROW UP
IS A WESTERN OMELET.
760
00:36:13,772 --> 00:36:15,804
THAT IS NOT MEAT. (chuckles)
761
00:36:15,804 --> 00:36:18,547
THAT PIECE RIGHT THERE--
THAT'S DEFINITELY MEAT!
762
00:36:18,547 --> 00:36:20,449
STILL WAITING ON THAT MOP.
763
00:36:20,449 --> 00:36:22,551
(scoffs) WHAT DID GRANDMA
GIVE YOU TO EAT?
764
00:36:22,551 --> 00:36:24,553
(weakly)
SHE SAID NOT TO TELL.
765
00:36:28,817 --> 00:36:31,720
YOU GAVE HIM MEAT
AND THEN TOLD HIM TO LIE?!
766
00:36:33,722 --> 00:36:36,425
I GAVE HIM A HOT DOG,
ALL RIGHT?
767
00:36:36,425 --> 00:36:38,767
HE LIKED IT SO MUCH,
HE ASKED FOR ANOTHER.
768
00:36:38,767 --> 00:36:40,669
TWO HOT DOGS?
(scoffs)
769
00:36:40,669 --> 00:36:41,770
ALL RIGHT,
770
00:36:41,770 --> 00:36:44,903
I'LL CONCEDE THE SECOND ONE
WAS CLEARLY A MISTAKE.
771
00:36:46,235 --> 00:36:48,507
COME ON, LEO.
WE'RE LEAVING.
772
00:36:48,507 --> 00:36:51,240
NO! DANIELLE, PLEASE.
I'M SORRY, ORSON.
773
00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:53,742
SHE'S MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE
FOR US TO STAY IN THIS HOUSE.
774
00:36:53,742 --> 00:36:56,785
(Orson) DANIELLE, WAIT, WAIT.
775
00:36:59,648 --> 00:37:02,421
WELL, WE CAN STILL DRINK,
RIGHT?
776
00:37:02,421 --> 00:37:05,354
OH, YEAH.
777
00:37:07,356 --> 00:37:09,658
WELL, I'VE APOLOGIZED
TILL I'M BLUE IN THE FACE,
778
00:37:09,658 --> 00:37:12,931
BUT THEY'RE STILL LEAVING
IN THE MORNING.
779
00:37:12,931 --> 00:37:16,465
(sighs deeply)
780
00:37:16,465 --> 00:37:18,767
NOW YOU'RE NOT
SPEAKING TO ME, EITHER?
781
00:37:20,669 --> 00:37:22,341
THEY'RE JUST MAD.
782
00:37:22,341 --> 00:37:24,813
THINGS WILL BE BETTER
NEXT TIME.
783
00:37:24,813 --> 00:37:27,516
YOU HONESTLY THINK
THERE'LL BE A NEXT TIME?
784
00:37:27,516 --> 00:37:30,519
IT TOOK US THREE YEARS
TO TALK THEM INTO THIS VISIT.
785
00:37:30,519 --> 00:37:32,250
IT TOOK YOU ONE DAY...
(pot clanks)
786
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:33,752
TO RUIN IT.
787
00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:36,685
ORSON, I'M TRULY SORRY.
788
00:37:36,685 --> 00:37:38,587
IT'S JUST, SEEING...
789
00:37:38,587 --> 00:37:40,959
ALL THESE MISTAKES
THAT SHE'S MAKING WITH BENJAMIN,
790
00:37:40,959 --> 00:37:42,961
IT'S JUST SO HARD FOR ME.
791
00:37:42,961 --> 00:37:45,534
(voice breaks)
YOU KNOW WHAT HARD FOR ME?
792
00:37:47,536 --> 00:37:49,498
WHEN I LEFT FOR PRISON,
793
00:37:49,498 --> 00:37:53,572
BENJAMIN WAS IN MY HOUSE,
HE WAS IN MY LIFE.
794
00:37:53,572 --> 00:37:55,874
HE CALLED ME "DADDY."
795
00:37:55,874 --> 00:37:59,408
AND WHEN I CAME HOME,
HE WAS GONE.
796
00:38:01,350 --> 00:38:03,512
AND YOU THINK
THAT'S MY FAULT?
797
00:38:03,512 --> 00:38:05,784
YES, I DO.
798
00:38:05,784 --> 00:38:08,657
ORSON, YOU WEREN'T HERE.
799
00:38:08,657 --> 00:38:12,361
SHE CAME BACK.
SHE WAS MARRIED TO A LAWYER.
800
00:38:12,361 --> 00:38:14,963
AND DON'T FORGET,
SHE IS HIS MOTHER!
801
00:38:14,963 --> 00:38:16,965
I TRIED TO FIGHT, BUT--
802
00:38:16,965 --> 00:38:19,728
YOU SHOULD'VE FOUGHT HARDER.
803
00:38:19,728 --> 00:38:22,431
I WAS ON MY KNEES.
I WAS SOBBING.
804
00:38:22,431 --> 00:38:25,604
SHE SAID "NO" AND THEN
RIPPED HIM OUT OF MY ARMS.
805
00:38:25,604 --> 00:38:28,677
(whispers) YOU HAVE NO RIGHT
TO SAY THAT TO ME.
806
00:38:47,356 --> 00:38:49,628
YOU KIND OF BLINDSIDED ME
TONIGHT.
807
00:38:49,628 --> 00:38:53,662
I KNOW. I AM SO SORRY.
808
00:38:56,365 --> 00:38:58,767
I WAS CLEARLY UNCOMFORTABLE.
809
00:38:58,767 --> 00:39:01,470
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU KEPT PRESSING ME.
810
00:39:03,572 --> 00:39:06,845
HONESTLY, IT WAS ALL
KAREN McCLUSKEY'S FAULT.
811
00:39:08,677 --> 00:39:10,379
REALLY? HOW SO?
812
00:39:10,379 --> 00:39:13,522
WELL, SHE KEPT ASKING ME ALL
THIS STUFF ABOUT YOUR BACKGROUND
813
00:39:13,522 --> 00:39:16,525
AND WHY I DON'T KNOW
MORE ABOUT YOU, AND... (sighs)
814
00:39:16,525 --> 00:39:20,389
I SHOULD'VE JUST NEVER
LET HER GET TO ME.
815
00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,634
IT'S OKAY, SWEETIE.
816
00:39:25,634 --> 00:39:27,035
NOW I UNDERSTAND.
817
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,142
KIND OF SAD
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.
818
00:39:34,142 --> 00:39:37,105
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
OH... MAYBE YOU GUYS
DON'T NOTICE
819
00:39:37,105 --> 00:39:39,107
BECAUSE YOU'RE
SO USED TO HER.
820
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,382
BUT HER BEHAVIOR
REMINDS ME OF MY GRANDMOTHER,
821
00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:46,384
WHEN WE FIRST
STARTED TO NOTICE...
822
00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:48,457
THE DEMENTIA, THAT IS.
823
00:39:48,457 --> 00:39:51,019
YOU THINK KAREN'S
GOING SENILE?
824
00:39:51,019 --> 00:39:55,494
I REMEMBER
MY POOR GRANDMOTHER...
825
00:39:55,494 --> 00:39:58,767
STARTED GETTING SO PARANOID.
826
00:39:58,767 --> 00:40:01,970
SHE THOUGHT PEOPLE WERE
BREAKING INTO HER HOUSE AND...
827
00:40:01,970 --> 00:40:04,773
STEALING HER THINGS.
828
00:40:04,773 --> 00:40:07,075
WE FINALLY
HAD TO PUT HER IN A HOME.
829
00:40:09,808 --> 00:40:12,941
I JUST HOPE
THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO KAREN.
830
00:40:27,896 --> 00:40:30,098
I WANT MY 300 BUCKS.
831
00:40:30,098 --> 00:40:33,732
I TOLD YOU. IT'S YOUR CAR.
YOU DEAL WITH IT.
832
00:40:33,732 --> 00:40:35,734
THAT'S IT? NO COMPASSION?
833
00:40:35,734 --> 00:40:39,007
NO, "HEY, LET'S SPLIT THE BILL
AND CALL IT EVEN"?
834
00:40:39,007 --> 00:40:42,010
LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
YOU'RE NOT LOSING 300 BUCKS.
835
00:40:42,010 --> 00:40:45,113
YOU'RE GAINING
A VALUABLE LESSON--BUYER BEWARE.
836
00:40:45,113 --> 00:40:48,977
TRUE. NOW HERE'S
A VALUABLE LESSON FOR YOU.
837
00:40:54,222 --> 00:40:56,625
(revs engine, brakes screech)
838
00:40:56,625 --> 00:40:58,627
HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!
HEY! HEY!
839
00:40:58,627 --> 00:41:01,229
WHAT THE HELL
IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
GIVE ME MY MONEY,
840
00:41:01,229 --> 00:41:03,862
OR NEXT TIME
WE'RE TRADING PAINT.
YOU'RE BLUFFING.
841
00:41:03,862 --> 00:41:05,864
I AM TIRED OF BEING A VICTIM,
ANDREW.
842
00:41:05,864 --> 00:41:08,196
AND TRUST ME,
THAT IS NO BLUFF.
(tires squeak)
843
00:41:08,196 --> 00:41:12,971
(brakes screech)
HEY! YOU--YOU TOUCH MY CAR,
AND YOU'RE PAYING FOR IT.
844
00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:15,674
LUCKILY, I'M INSURED. (gasps)
OH, WAIT. OUR POLICY LAPSED.
845
00:41:15,674 --> 00:41:17,576
HOPE YOU'VE GOT
GOOD COVERAGE.
846
00:41:17,576 --> 00:41:20,709
(revving engine)
847
00:41:20,709 --> 00:41:23,552
WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!
WAIT, WAIT.
848
00:41:23,552 --> 00:41:25,013
I'LL GET MY CHECKBOOK.
849
00:41:25,013 --> 00:41:28,517
I PREFER CASH.
850
00:41:32,190 --> 00:41:33,792
BULLIES...
851
00:41:33,792 --> 00:41:37,566
ANY ADULT WILL TELL YOU
THE PLAYGROUND
852
00:41:37,566 --> 00:41:41,129
IS NOT THE ONLY PLACE
TO FIND THEM.
853
00:41:41,129 --> 00:41:44,933
EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK,
YOU CAN FIND PEOPLE UNCONCERNED
854
00:41:44,933 --> 00:41:48,777
OR UNAWARE
OF THE PAIN THEY INFLICT.
855
00:41:48,777 --> 00:41:51,810
IT MIGHT BE A NEIGHBOR
856
00:41:51,810 --> 00:41:54,783
PREYING ON THE SUSPICIONS
OF HER FRIEND...
857
00:41:56,545 --> 00:41:57,846
OR A DAUGHTER
858
00:41:57,846 --> 00:42:01,249
PUNISHING THE CHOICES
OF HER MOTHER.
859
00:42:04,923 --> 00:42:08,256
OR A HOUSEWIFE SEEKING JUSTICE
860
00:42:08,256 --> 00:42:11,900
FROM THE MAN WHO SOLD HER
A CAR.
861
00:42:11,900 --> 00:42:14,032
YES...
862
00:42:14,032 --> 00:42:16,635
THERE ARE BULLIES EVERYWHERE.
863
00:42:16,635 --> 00:42:20,939
AND THE WORST ARE THE ONES
WHO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU
864
00:42:20,939 --> 00:42:24,613
WITHOUT YOU EVER KNOWING...
865
00:42:24,613 --> 00:42:26,945
WHAT THEY'VE DONE.
63372
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