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1
00:00:04,275 --> 00:00:06,614
Wow. Fried chicken and
donuts for breakfast.
2
00:00:06,614 --> 00:00:09,520
Did your heart say something
that pissed you off?
3
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,690
Why are you always
sticking up for my heart?
4
00:00:11,690 --> 00:00:13,895
My tastebuds could
use some support, too.
5
00:00:14,763 --> 00:00:16,734
Uh, with Louise on the
road and your sister
6
00:00:16,734 --> 00:00:18,905
over at her friend's most of the time,
7
00:00:18,905 --> 00:00:21,042
I'm like the kid from "Home Alone,"
8
00:00:21,042 --> 00:00:23,113
if he guzzled beer and mainlined bacon.
9
00:00:24,448 --> 00:00:26,654
Louise's plant in the
bathroom is already dead
10
00:00:26,654 --> 00:00:27,756
because I'm not around.
11
00:00:27,756 --> 00:00:29,425
If you turn all brown and shrivel up,
12
00:00:29,425 --> 00:00:31,530
she's gonna be super mad at me.
13
00:00:31,530 --> 00:00:34,468
I can take care of myself, thank you.
14
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,907
And to what do we owe the
honor of your presence?
15
00:00:36,907 --> 00:00:39,145
I'm giving Harris a ride
to work, and along the way,
16
00:00:39,145 --> 00:00:41,917
she's gonna help me with my
paper on teenage alcoholism.
17
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:46,459
You know, Mark, I started
drinking when I was 14,
18
00:00:46,459 --> 00:00:49,566
and I'm a little hurt that you
turned to an amateur for help.
19
00:00:50,434 --> 00:00:52,772
I'm sorry, there are just
so many people in this family
20
00:00:52,772 --> 00:00:53,975
who drank as children...
21
00:00:53,975 --> 00:00:56,513
it was an embarrassment of riches.
22
00:00:56,513 --> 00:00:58,116
- [Knock on door]
- Oh, oh, oh, oh!
23
00:00:58,116 --> 00:00:59,820
Perfect timing. That's for me.
24
00:00:59,820 --> 00:01:02,157
- I got Bev a caregiver off Craigslist.
- Oh.
25
00:01:02,157 --> 00:01:03,661
I gave her your address
26
00:01:03,661 --> 00:01:05,497
'cause I don't want
sketchy people like that
27
00:01:05,497 --> 00:01:06,634
knowing where I live.
28
00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:09,171
- Eileen, hi.
- Hi.
29
00:01:09,171 --> 00:01:10,975
Oh, it's so nice to
finally meet you in person.
30
00:01:10,975 --> 00:01:12,211
- I'm Jackie.
- Hi.
31
00:01:12,211 --> 00:01:13,781
- This is my brother-in-law, Dan.
- Hello.
32
00:01:13,781 --> 00:01:15,852
- Come on in. Why don't you have a seat?
- Thank you.
33
00:01:15,852 --> 00:01:16,987
Um, so...
34
00:01:16,987 --> 00:01:18,156
- [Chuckling]
- Well...
35
00:01:18,156 --> 00:01:20,394
how was the first day with Mom?
36
00:01:20,394 --> 00:01:23,266
[Breathes sharply] Look,
I... I... I'm not a nurse,
37
00:01:23,266 --> 00:01:27,074
and I just make extra cash,
uh, babysitting seniors.
38
00:01:27,074 --> 00:01:30,047
My wife does that for free. [Laughs]
39
00:01:30,047 --> 00:01:31,850
But she gets to live in splendor.
40
00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:35,357
A... And some of them have
memory problems,
41
00:01:35,357 --> 00:01:38,096
but this wasn't just
a confused old woman.
42
00:01:38,096 --> 00:01:41,503
This was a targeted attack
on my deepest insecurities.
43
00:01:41,503 --> 00:01:45,310
Oh, my God, she commented on your hair.
44
00:01:45,310 --> 00:01:46,680
- No.
- The lazy eye?
45
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:50,120
Maybe... Maybe that's enough
guesses for now.
46
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,024
Let's let her finish her story.
47
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,393
I... It's not important.
48
00:01:53,393 --> 00:01:55,397
Um, I just came by to say
49
00:01:55,397 --> 00:01:58,069
that I can't take care of your mom.
50
00:01:58,069 --> 00:01:59,740
I'd rather go back to
the dog food factory
51
00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:02,411
and feed horse skeletons
into the grinder.
52
00:02:03,547 --> 00:02:06,293
Sounds like a lateral move to me,
but that's your call.
53
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,223
- [Door opens]
- [Door closes]
54
00:02:08,224 --> 00:02:10,628
You hired her to take care of
Bev without even meeting her?
55
00:02:10,628 --> 00:02:13,133
She's the only one I could afford, Dan.
56
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,103
There's gotta be somebody else.
57
00:02:15,103 --> 00:02:18,476
Some no-account drifter
just passing through town.
58
00:02:18,476 --> 00:02:21,249
Ohh. I can't afford a registered nurse,
59
00:02:21,249 --> 00:02:23,554
so I'm doing the best I
can with what's available.
60
00:02:23,554 --> 00:02:25,958
In the meantime, Harris, Mark,
61
00:02:25,958 --> 00:02:28,496
I need you guys to go
over and watch Bev tonight.
62
00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:29,666
No problem.
63
00:02:29,666 --> 00:02:31,670
And, uh, Harris, you've
got the late shift
64
00:02:31,670 --> 00:02:33,039
at the tattoo parlor,
65
00:02:33,039 --> 00:02:35,043
so you can do the early shift with Bev,
66
00:02:35,043 --> 00:02:37,549
and then, Mark, you can relieve her
67
00:02:37,549 --> 00:02:39,719
when you get off school
at 3:00 every day.
68
00:02:39,719 --> 00:02:41,088
Problem solved.
69
00:02:42,324 --> 00:02:44,261
What? Every day?
70
00:02:44,261 --> 00:02:45,397
Why is this all on us?
71
00:02:45,397 --> 00:02:46,800
Well, you guys were concerned about her,
72
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,541
and she trusts you, and she
paid for your computer camp.
73
00:02:51,510 --> 00:02:54,081
Gave you her dead husband's watch.
74
00:02:54,081 --> 00:02:55,751
Well, no, I understand.
75
00:02:55,751 --> 00:02:57,354
You kids have a life of your own.
76
00:02:57,354 --> 00:02:58,958
You like to make your little TikToks
77
00:02:58,958 --> 00:03:02,832
and watch your Korean boy bands, so...
78
00:03:02,832 --> 00:03:05,036
I... I'll... I'll call you
when she's dead.
79
00:03:06,305 --> 00:03:07,508
- Okay, fine.
- Fine.
80
00:03:07,508 --> 00:03:09,411
- We'll do it.
- Fine.
81
00:03:09,411 --> 00:03:11,082
Only if you want to.
82
00:03:12,752 --> 00:03:14,823
- What's going on, Jackie?
- [Door opens]
83
00:03:14,823 --> 00:03:16,459
- Can't you ask Neville to kick in...
- [Door closes]
84
00:03:16,459 --> 00:03:18,764
... or maybe move her in with you guys?
85
00:03:18,764 --> 00:03:20,467
I'm not burdening him with the cost
86
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:23,172
of taking care of my horrible mother.
87
00:03:23,172 --> 00:03:26,345
And there's no way she's living with me.
88
00:03:26,345 --> 00:03:27,815
I finally found someone
89
00:03:27,815 --> 00:03:30,287
who loves and accepts
me unconditionally.
90
00:03:30,287 --> 00:03:33,359
If I let her in the house,
she'll just destroy that.
91
00:03:33,359 --> 00:03:35,765
That's what she does.
92
00:03:35,765 --> 00:03:38,704
- Birds gotta swim, fish gotta fly.
- Mm.
93
00:03:39,706 --> 00:03:41,042
Yeah.
94
00:03:41,042 --> 00:03:44,148
?
95
00:03:44,148 --> 00:03:46,653
Mmmmm. Food.
96
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,999
[Whispering] Don't move.
There's a bear in the kitchen.
97
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:55,771
God, Dad.
98
00:03:55,771 --> 00:03:58,577
You taking care of yourself
with Louise out of town?
99
00:03:58,577 --> 00:04:01,783
It's sausage, not heroin. I'm fine.
100
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,219
Well, they'll both kill you.
101
00:04:03,219 --> 00:04:05,023
It's just a matter of
how many pallbearers
102
00:04:05,023 --> 00:04:07,427
it takes to lift the coffin.
103
00:04:07,427 --> 00:04:09,866
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey.
104
00:04:09,866 --> 00:04:12,170
Glad I caught you.
105
00:04:12,170 --> 00:04:14,876
Have I told you how much I appreciate
106
00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:18,383
you building this house for
me and how perfect it is?
107
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,353
No, you have not.
108
00:04:20,353 --> 00:04:22,491
Okay, here's why...
109
00:04:22,491 --> 00:04:25,931
So, the plumbing is
making terrible noises.
110
00:04:25,931 --> 00:04:28,169
Now, I... I'm grateful that
you did it all for free,
111
00:04:28,169 --> 00:04:31,710
but free doesn't have to mean crappy.
112
00:04:31,710 --> 00:04:34,448
I'm sure they're not terrible noises.
113
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:37,622
[Scoffs lightly] Mark, shower!
114
00:04:38,624 --> 00:04:41,696
[Loud rattling]
115
00:04:41,696 --> 00:04:44,969
Mommy, the wall monsters are back!
116
00:04:44,969 --> 00:04:47,407
[Gasps] It's okay, honey.
117
00:04:47,407 --> 00:04:50,013
It's just Grandpa's
half-assed workmanship.
118
00:04:50,013 --> 00:04:51,917
Hey, I did it right.
119
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:54,556
I'll come over and see what's
going on when I get free later.
120
00:04:54,556 --> 00:04:56,993
Oh, hey, look, Dan, I know
you got a lot on your plate,
121
00:04:56,993 --> 00:04:59,666
so if you want, I can
take a shot at fixing it.
122
00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,536
Absolutely not!
123
00:05:01,536 --> 00:05:04,308
"Taking a shot" does
not inspire confidence.
124
00:05:04,308 --> 00:05:07,314
"Ah, we've begun our
descent into Chicago.
125
00:05:07,314 --> 00:05:13,059
Uh, we're gonna take a shot
at landing this plane. Uhhh."
126
00:05:13,059 --> 00:05:15,096
"Uh, this is your co-pilot.
127
00:05:15,096 --> 00:05:18,102
Relax, sit back, and kiss my ass."
128
00:05:19,739 --> 00:05:22,912
Oh, you got an extra house key?
129
00:05:22,912 --> 00:05:24,014
Oh, that's not necessary.
130
00:05:24,014 --> 00:05:25,718
I'm gonna be home all day.
131
00:05:25,718 --> 00:05:29,291
For if I get over here late
when you guys are all asleep.
132
00:05:29,291 --> 00:05:31,796
Well, why can't you just
come over after work?
133
00:05:31,796 --> 00:05:33,567
Chuck and I planned a guys' night.
134
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:35,905
We're gonna go bowling, shoot pool,
135
00:05:35,905 --> 00:05:37,608
and maybe hit the all-night diner
136
00:05:37,608 --> 00:05:39,579
for a pancake nightcap.
137
00:05:39,579 --> 00:05:41,448
Wow. When the cat's away,
138
00:05:41,448 --> 00:05:45,490
the old, creaky mouse
rolls off the couch to play.
139
00:05:45,490 --> 00:05:46,593
Yeah, I'm not gonna sit at home
140
00:05:46,593 --> 00:05:49,532
waiting for my woman
to come off her tour.
141
00:05:49,532 --> 00:05:52,672
And there's nobody at the
house to worry about it anymore,
142
00:05:52,672 --> 00:05:54,408
so my time to howl.
143
00:05:54,408 --> 00:05:55,811
Alright, well, the keys are there,
144
00:05:55,811 --> 00:05:57,548
but just don't overdo it.
145
00:05:57,548 --> 00:05:59,519
Please be sure to check
your blood pressure,
146
00:05:59,519 --> 00:06:01,021
wear your compression socks,
147
00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:04,294
and, you know, send us a pin
of wherever you're going to be.
148
00:06:04,294 --> 00:06:06,866
Otherwise, rage on, dude.
149
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,436
?
150
00:06:11,442 --> 00:06:17,442
?
151
00:06:19,726 --> 00:06:25,726
?
152
00:06:28,009 --> 00:06:29,177
"The Conners" is recorded
153
00:06:29,177 --> 00:06:31,315
in front of a live studio audience.
154
00:06:31,315 --> 00:06:33,119
[Softly] Okay, so what's this about?
155
00:06:34,822 --> 00:06:36,893
[Softly] You need to
see her. She is not good.
156
00:06:36,893 --> 00:06:38,362
And this would have been a lot easier
157
00:06:38,362 --> 00:06:39,732
if we could have brought
her to your house.
158
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:42,571
I told you I don't want her
159
00:06:42,571 --> 00:06:45,844
getting her hate-dander
in my new carpet.
160
00:06:47,314 --> 00:06:50,554
Aunt Jackie, we have
a real problem here.
161
00:06:50,554 --> 00:06:52,958
I know you're talking about me.
162
00:06:52,958 --> 00:06:56,065
I demand that you hear
my side of the story
163
00:06:56,065 --> 00:06:59,539
before these two monsters
make up more lies about me.
164
00:06:59,539 --> 00:07:00,874
What happened, Mom?
165
00:07:00,874 --> 00:07:02,678
They're liars and thieves.
166
00:07:02,678 --> 00:07:07,253
The girl one was rifling through
my scarf drawer last night.
167
00:07:07,253 --> 00:07:10,594
I was looking for something
I could use as a gag.
168
00:07:10,594 --> 00:07:11,663
An admission of guilt!
169
00:07:11,663 --> 00:07:14,000
Mom, that's Harris.
170
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,838
I don't care who she is.
171
00:07:15,838 --> 00:07:18,810
She's taking things, and so is the boy.
172
00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:21,348
Right now, he's wearing
my husband's watch
173
00:07:21,348 --> 00:07:22,818
right in front of me.
174
00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:24,989
- She gave it to me.
- Oh!
175
00:07:24,989 --> 00:07:26,492
Why would I do that?
176
00:07:26,492 --> 00:07:28,530
It's worth a lot of money.
177
00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:30,534
You're lucky my husband
hasn't noticed yet.
178
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:31,803
He's got a temper.
179
00:07:31,803 --> 00:07:34,207
Mark, give her the watch.
180
00:07:34,207 --> 00:07:35,443
And those clothes?
181
00:07:35,443 --> 00:07:37,782
They clearly came out
of my husband's closet.
182
00:07:37,782 --> 00:07:41,088
No one your age dresses like that.
183
00:07:41,088 --> 00:07:42,758
I'm not taking off my clothes.
184
00:07:42,758 --> 00:07:44,327
Mark, Harris, let me talk
to you guys for a second
185
00:07:44,327 --> 00:07:45,430
in the other room.
186
00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:46,966
Mom, you finish your cereal,
187
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,438
and I'll take care of all this.
188
00:07:49,438 --> 00:07:51,308
Hey, hey, hey!
189
00:07:51,308 --> 00:07:55,249
- Okay, first days are always hard.
- Hard?
190
00:07:55,249 --> 00:07:57,655
Last night, she turned off
the lights and lit candles
191
00:07:57,655 --> 00:07:59,792
so the Germans wouldn't
see us during The Blitz.
192
00:08:00,961 --> 00:08:02,631
She thought she was a
young girl in England.
193
00:08:02,631 --> 00:08:03,934
She's never even been to England.
194
00:08:03,934 --> 00:08:06,973
So just play along
with her little stories.
195
00:08:06,973 --> 00:08:08,309
There's no harm in that.
196
00:08:08,309 --> 00:08:10,346
Is there harm in her running
out of the house last night
197
00:08:10,346 --> 00:08:13,118
and trying to bum cigarettes
from cars that are driving by?
198
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:15,156
Oh, my God.
199
00:08:15,156 --> 00:08:16,893
Did somebody almost hit her?
200
00:08:18,830 --> 00:08:20,934
We know the answer you'd
like to hear, but no.
201
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,437
And it was really scary.
202
00:08:22,437 --> 00:08:23,707
- We can't keep doing this.
- [Sighs]
203
00:08:23,707 --> 00:08:24,842
We don't want to be responsible
204
00:08:24,842 --> 00:08:26,445
if something really bad happens.
205
00:08:26,445 --> 00:08:28,249
You need to get a real nurse.
206
00:08:28,249 --> 00:08:29,552
- Mm.
- And a strong one.
207
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,623
She's 96, but she's powered by Ensure
208
00:08:31,623 --> 00:08:32,725
and generational evil.
209
00:08:32,725 --> 00:08:34,896
Yeah. I hear you.
210
00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:36,566
Okay, I think I know the answer to this,
211
00:08:36,566 --> 00:08:38,202
but I'm gonna ask it anyway.
212
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:44,314
Is this something that
could be solved with...
213
00:08:44,314 --> 00:08:45,651
baby gates?
214
00:08:46,853 --> 00:08:51,094
?
215
00:08:51,094 --> 00:08:52,163
Dad?
216
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:55,469
Hey. Dad.
217
00:08:57,140 --> 00:08:59,277
- What time is it?
- It's 9:00 am.
218
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:00,847
Holy cow.
219
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:06,559
I started working on the
pipes, and I guess I conked out.
220
00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:09,097
I haven't slept that
hard in a long time.
221
00:09:09,097 --> 00:09:11,335
Beverly Rose, Grandpa's here!
222
00:09:11,335 --> 00:09:13,205
You can brush your teeth now!
223
00:09:14,441 --> 00:09:16,211
- Thanks for fixing it, Dad.
- Mm.
224
00:09:16,211 --> 00:09:17,514
[Loud rattling]
225
00:09:17,514 --> 00:09:22,323
- [Beverly Rose screams]
- Turn it off!
226
00:09:22,323 --> 00:09:23,526
I thought you fixed it?
227
00:09:23,526 --> 00:09:27,333
Sorry. But I did look
at it, and I realize now
228
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:29,639
it's a lot more
complicated than I thought.
229
00:09:29,639 --> 00:09:31,809
I'm gonna have to come
back here again tonight.
230
00:09:31,809 --> 00:09:33,412
Yes, please.
231
00:09:33,412 --> 00:09:36,184
Beverly Rose had to sleep
with me again last night.
232
00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:38,122
She's a kicker. She's a hitter.
233
00:09:38,122 --> 00:09:41,495
It's like trying to spoon
with a tiny cage fighter.
234
00:09:41,495 --> 00:09:43,132
Look, Dad, if it's too hard,
235
00:09:43,132 --> 00:09:45,169
I can just hire someone
to help with the pipes.
236
00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:46,706
Oh, I don't need help.
237
00:09:46,706 --> 00:09:48,543
And I've got the key,
238
00:09:48,543 --> 00:09:50,614
so I won't bother you
when I come in late.
239
00:09:50,614 --> 00:09:52,250
Late again tonight?
240
00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:53,720
I'm getting straight A's, Mom.
241
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,759
Why can't I hang out late
with the other kids? Gawd!
242
00:09:58,763 --> 00:09:59,865
- This is crazy.
- [Door closes]
243
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,136
He's going out every night drinking.
244
00:10:02,136 --> 00:10:04,074
He's going to his old white man raves
245
00:10:04,074 --> 00:10:06,144
or whatever he's doing.
246
00:10:06,144 --> 00:10:07,380
Yeah, we gotta watch him.
247
00:10:07,380 --> 00:10:09,050
Mark told me he was eating fried chicken
248
00:10:09,050 --> 00:10:10,252
for breakfast the other day.
249
00:10:10,252 --> 00:10:11,354
He's clearly not sleeping.
250
00:10:11,354 --> 00:10:13,459
He's not in good enough
shape to have fun.
251
00:10:13,459 --> 00:10:15,062
?
252
00:10:17,768 --> 00:10:19,370
?
253
00:10:19,370 --> 00:10:22,778
Hey. Any luck finding
a caregiver for Bev?
254
00:10:22,778 --> 00:10:24,447
If you don't, Mark's going up the river
255
00:10:24,447 --> 00:10:27,755
for stealing every gift
she's ever given him.
256
00:10:27,755 --> 00:10:30,159
I did find one.
257
00:10:30,159 --> 00:10:32,363
She should be here any
minute for the interview.
258
00:10:32,363 --> 00:10:33,566
One?!
259
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:35,570
You were supposed to narrow
it down to four or five.
260
00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:38,308
Well, I tried. First, I picked out
all the ones
261
00:10:38,308 --> 00:10:40,079
with keywords in their r�sum� like,
262
00:10:40,079 --> 00:10:42,651
"caring," "compassionate,"
"love," "God."
263
00:10:42,651 --> 00:10:44,688
Then I tossed them 'cause
she'd just peck 'em clean
264
00:10:44,688 --> 00:10:47,594
'til there was nothing
left but bones and hair.
265
00:10:47,594 --> 00:10:49,665
So, why this one?
266
00:10:49,665 --> 00:10:51,803
Well, 'cause she's got
impeccable credentials
267
00:10:51,803 --> 00:10:54,374
working in memory care,
and she knows martial arts.
268
00:10:54,374 --> 00:10:56,244
Eventually, the job's
going to require force
269
00:10:56,244 --> 00:10:57,948
rather than explanation.
270
00:10:57,948 --> 00:10:59,985
Oh, my God! [Chuckles]
271
00:10:59,985 --> 00:11:03,125
- What?
- You see how much she charges?
272
00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:05,429
Even if I put Bev in a daycare facility,
273
00:11:05,429 --> 00:11:08,035
I'm still gonna need this woman
for, like, 12 hours a night.
274
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,172
That's like 300 bucks a day.
275
00:11:10,172 --> 00:11:12,644
What is that a year?!
Somebody do the math!
276
00:11:14,648 --> 00:11:17,086
- Look, this is her. Just be chill.
- [Door closes]
277
00:11:17,086 --> 00:11:18,556
- Hi. I'm Darlene.
- Hi.
278
00:11:18,556 --> 00:11:20,392
Please sit anywhere.
We'll just be a minute.
279
00:11:20,392 --> 00:11:21,762
- Okay.
- Oh, my God.
280
00:11:21,762 --> 00:11:24,568
Don't tell her to sit
down. I can't afford her.
281
00:11:24,568 --> 00:11:28,021
Bev is running into the
middle of the street, Jackie.
282
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,277
- Ohh!
- You need someone to keep her safe.
283
00:11:29,277 --> 00:11:31,147
Why? She didn't do
that for me or Roseanne.
284
00:11:31,147 --> 00:11:34,087
She would leave us with
our crazy rageaholic father,
285
00:11:34,087 --> 00:11:37,426
or else stash us at Nana
Mary's for months at a time
286
00:11:37,426 --> 00:11:39,698
while she was off doing God knows what.
287
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,301
Alright, well, the other option
288
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:44,808
is to put her in a
crowded state facility,
289
00:11:44,808 --> 00:11:46,812
and, yeah, she hasn't
always been a saint,
290
00:11:46,812 --> 00:11:48,716
but I don't think you want that.
291
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:53,125
Mm. I maybe want that.
292
00:11:53,125 --> 00:11:56,632
I mean, it could thin out
once everybody got to know her.
293
00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:58,035
- Aunt Jackie.
- I know.
294
00:11:58,035 --> 00:11:59,304
I know.
295
00:11:59,304 --> 00:12:02,476
Damn her for putting
me in this situation.
296
00:12:02,476 --> 00:12:03,846
She never saved a dime,
297
00:12:03,846 --> 00:12:05,249
knowing that her kids would
have to take care of her.
298
00:12:05,249 --> 00:12:08,823
She's always been
selfish and narcissistic.
299
00:12:08,823 --> 00:12:11,328
Mm. So, her name's Carrie,
300
00:12:11,328 --> 00:12:13,633
and she grew up just outside of Lanford,
301
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:16,471
so she's a local, and she's a quilter.
302
00:12:16,471 --> 00:12:17,808
Thanks for waiting.
303
00:12:17,808 --> 00:12:20,012
Well, caring for people
suffering from dementia
304
00:12:20,012 --> 00:12:21,582
requires a lot of patience.
305
00:12:21,582 --> 00:12:23,285
Yeah. Save the spiel.
306
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:24,722
I'm Jackie. I'm the daughter.
307
00:12:24,722 --> 00:12:27,259
Um, so let's get down to it.
308
00:12:27,259 --> 00:12:29,999
Obviously, you're qualified.
309
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:32,269
Uh, but for what you charge,
310
00:12:32,269 --> 00:12:34,541
you're gonna have to
actually cure her dementia,
311
00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:38,883
and, uh, even so, I... I'm not
really sure it's worth it.
312
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,854
Well, I know this is a
difficult time for you, Jackie.
313
00:12:40,854 --> 00:12:43,125
It's a big financial burden.
314
00:12:43,125 --> 00:12:44,695
But I'm highly trained,
315
00:12:44,695 --> 00:12:46,164
and there's nothing
your mom can throw at me
316
00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:47,934
that I can't handle.
317
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,437
You'll get to stop worrying,
318
00:12:49,437 --> 00:12:51,709
and I'll give her the care
and dignity she deserves.
319
00:12:51,709 --> 00:12:53,579
Okay, well, what if we did the care
320
00:12:53,579 --> 00:12:55,482
and then, the dignity, we just...
321
00:12:55,482 --> 00:12:58,055
But what would that cost me?
322
00:12:58,055 --> 00:12:59,323
Look, give me a week.
323
00:12:59,323 --> 00:13:00,660
If you don't think it's worth it,
324
00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:03,599
at the worst, your mom
got one good week of care.
325
00:13:03,599 --> 00:13:05,269
Mm. Well, yeah.
326
00:13:05,269 --> 00:13:06,705
I mean, I do like the idea
327
00:13:06,705 --> 00:13:08,543
of my mom getting used to good care
328
00:13:08,543 --> 00:13:09,945
and then taking it away.
329
00:13:11,549 --> 00:13:13,118
It's refreshing you don't even try
330
00:13:13,118 --> 00:13:15,456
to cover up your resentment.
331
00:13:15,456 --> 00:13:17,426
Oh, no, this is her
covering up her resentment.
332
00:13:18,729 --> 00:13:21,735
So, I'll call you
later with the details.
333
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:23,138
Thank you.
334
00:13:23,138 --> 00:13:25,175
- I'll see you tomorrow night.
- Mm.
335
00:13:26,144 --> 00:13:27,379
I can't believe
336
00:13:27,379 --> 00:13:29,785
I'm actually even
considering doing this.
337
00:13:29,785 --> 00:13:32,791
I'm gonna have to spend
every dime I've ever saved.
338
00:13:32,791 --> 00:13:36,097
Maybe even take out a loan
against the restaurant.
339
00:13:36,097 --> 00:13:37,834
Oh, man, now that I know what it costs,
340
00:13:37,834 --> 00:13:40,673
maybe I should let my
dad eat whatever he wants.
341
00:13:40,673 --> 00:13:43,880
?
342
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,984
I don't want to wake him up,
but he's on my calculus book.
343
00:13:45,984 --> 00:13:47,353
I really need it.
344
00:13:47,353 --> 00:13:49,892
Well, think about how grumpy
he gets when you wake him up,
345
00:13:49,892 --> 00:13:51,161
and then ask yourself,
346
00:13:51,161 --> 00:13:54,200
"Am I ever really gonna use calculus?"
347
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,672
Just pull it out real fast, you know,
348
00:13:56,672 --> 00:13:58,408
like that tablecloth trick.
349
00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:04,086
Wow. I... I think it really helps
350
00:14:04,086 --> 00:14:07,026
- when the tablecloth is hungover.
- [Chuckles]
351
00:14:08,228 --> 00:14:09,230
Well, he's gotta go to work.
352
00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:11,100
We have to wake him up, right?
353
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,839
Hey. Come on, buddy.
354
00:14:13,839 --> 00:14:14,908
- We got a pallet...
- [Door closes]
355
00:14:14,908 --> 00:14:18,749
... full of low-flush toilets
to unload. [Sighs]
356
00:14:18,749 --> 00:14:21,989
You know, when I hear out
loud what I do for a living,
357
00:14:21,989 --> 00:14:23,325
I get a little sad.
358
00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:26,532
I need to sleep.
359
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,936
Go away. I'll finish the pipes tonight.
360
00:14:34,581 --> 00:14:35,850
This is not like my dad.
361
00:14:35,850 --> 00:14:37,453
He's an early riser.
362
00:14:37,453 --> 00:14:40,660
Now he can't even get up off the
couch and he's disoriented?
363
00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:42,731
I'm gonna let him sleep
now, but, you know,
364
00:14:42,731 --> 00:14:44,968
we gotta ambush him at his place later.
365
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:46,437
I'm not gonna let him
keep doing what he's doing
366
00:14:46,437 --> 00:14:47,874
all the way to the hospital.
367
00:14:47,874 --> 00:14:49,110
Well, it's a good idea,
368
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:50,445
but I'm gonna leave that up to you guys
369
00:14:50,445 --> 00:14:51,982
'cause I double-dog-dared him
370
00:14:51,982 --> 00:14:53,586
to eat 12 Slim Jims yesterday,
371
00:14:53,586 --> 00:14:56,291
so... telling him to
take care of himself
372
00:14:56,291 --> 00:14:58,295
would be kind of a mixed
message coming from me.
373
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,038
[Country music plays]
374
00:15:03,038 --> 00:15:07,146
?
375
00:15:07,146 --> 00:15:13,024
- [Cellphone ringing]
- [Music stops]
376
00:15:13,024 --> 00:15:14,327
Oh, hey, Darlene.
377
00:15:14,327 --> 00:15:15,897
Everything okay?
378
00:15:17,266 --> 00:15:20,238
Great. Can't talk right now.
379
00:15:20,238 --> 00:15:21,975
I'm at the casino.
380
00:15:23,278 --> 00:15:24,614
Yeah. Yeah. I know.
381
00:15:24,614 --> 00:15:27,052
It sounds like that 'cause
I just stepped outside.
382
00:15:27,887 --> 00:15:30,893
No, I'm totally fine.
383
00:15:30,893 --> 00:15:33,365
Yeah, I'm killing it
at the blackjack table,
384
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:35,369
but I'll be over later tonight.
385
00:15:37,707 --> 00:15:40,178
I gotta go. I see some people I know.
386
00:15:44,253 --> 00:15:46,224
What the hell is going on, Dad?
387
00:15:46,224 --> 00:15:47,727
Why wouldn't you want us
to know that you're home?
388
00:15:47,727 --> 00:15:48,729
That's my business.
389
00:15:48,729 --> 00:15:49,898
Why are you spying on me?
390
00:15:49,898 --> 00:15:52,604
We didn't come to
spy. We came to ambush.
391
00:15:53,572 --> 00:15:55,409
Because we're worried about you.
392
00:15:55,409 --> 00:15:57,045
You're out every night
393
00:15:57,045 --> 00:16:00,252
doing fun things I'm not invited to.
394
00:16:00,252 --> 00:16:02,657
The only night I went out
was bowling with Chuck.
395
00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:04,594
Then why do you keep
coming over so late at night
396
00:16:04,594 --> 00:16:05,763
to work on the plumbing?
397
00:16:05,763 --> 00:16:07,232
'Cause that's when I want to do it.
398
00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:08,602
But you're not even doing it.
399
00:16:08,602 --> 00:16:10,138
You're just falling asleep on the couch.
400
00:16:10,138 --> 00:16:11,608
I... It doesn't make any sense,
401
00:16:11,608 --> 00:16:13,178
unless you don't know
how to fix the pipes
402
00:16:13,178 --> 00:16:14,648
and you're just too
embarrassed to admit it.
403
00:16:14,648 --> 00:16:16,317
I know how to fix the pipes.
404
00:16:16,317 --> 00:16:19,223
I just needed to sleep, alright?! Damn!
405
00:16:20,793 --> 00:16:22,129
I don't get it.
406
00:16:23,331 --> 00:16:24,801
- [Sighs]
- Why do you have to sleep at our place?
407
00:16:24,801 --> 00:16:27,439
Because it's the only place I can sleep.
408
00:16:27,439 --> 00:16:30,680
I started having trouble when
Louise went on tour last month.
409
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:31,882
Alright, so you miss Louise.
410
00:16:31,882 --> 00:16:33,151
Why didn't you just tell us?
411
00:16:33,151 --> 00:16:34,654
Because that's not the problem.
412
00:16:34,654 --> 00:16:36,892
Louise came home for
a few days last week
413
00:16:36,892 --> 00:16:38,294
and I still couldn't sleep.
414
00:16:38,294 --> 00:16:39,664
Okay, then you've got insomnia.
415
00:16:39,664 --> 00:16:40,933
We'll get you a sleep machine.
416
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,837
No, that's not the problem either.
417
00:16:42,837 --> 00:16:44,541
Good God, man, throw me a bone here.
418
00:16:44,541 --> 00:16:46,077
These are good guesses.
419
00:16:47,179 --> 00:16:51,522
Look, ever since your mother died,
420
00:16:51,522 --> 00:16:54,260
it started running through my head
421
00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:56,965
that bad things could happen to you guys
422
00:16:56,965 --> 00:16:59,638
any time when I'm not around.
423
00:16:59,638 --> 00:17:01,942
And then you all moved out.
424
00:17:01,942 --> 00:17:05,415
And I can't sleep unless
I know you all are safe.
425
00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:08,589
Oh, my God, Dan.
426
00:17:09,858 --> 00:17:13,231
That is so sweet. Thank you.
427
00:17:13,231 --> 00:17:14,834
I'm not talking about you, meathead.
428
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,605
I'm talking about my family.
429
00:17:18,007 --> 00:17:20,045
You should have just told us.
430
00:17:20,045 --> 00:17:21,314
Told you what?
431
00:17:21,314 --> 00:17:22,550
That I'm a grown man
432
00:17:22,550 --> 00:17:24,621
who's scared of his
thoughts in the night?
433
00:17:24,621 --> 00:17:27,025
You'll never hear that from me.
434
00:17:27,025 --> 00:17:28,762
Dan, she just did.
435
00:17:29,864 --> 00:17:33,204
I'm still very tired. Leave me alone.
436
00:17:33,204 --> 00:17:35,308
Dad, you've been around our whole lives
437
00:17:35,308 --> 00:17:37,547
and tons of bad things have happened.
438
00:17:38,649 --> 00:17:42,824
And we got through it because
you have done a great job
439
00:17:42,824 --> 00:17:46,097
- teaching us to be self-sufficient.
- Mm.
440
00:17:46,097 --> 00:17:48,150
Except for the part where
we can't hold down a job...
441
00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:49,638
- [Sighs]
- and have to move back home.
442
00:17:50,673 --> 00:17:52,944
This is an easy problem to solve, Dad.
443
00:17:52,944 --> 00:17:54,881
Just come over and stay at our house
444
00:17:54,881 --> 00:17:58,522
- until you work through this.
- No.
445
00:17:58,522 --> 00:18:01,093
I need to tough it out
and sleep in my own bed.
446
00:18:01,093 --> 00:18:02,396
Good for you.
447
00:18:02,396 --> 00:18:04,333
And you guys will take
turns sleeping on the couch
448
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,571
till I can shake this thing.
449
00:18:06,571 --> 00:18:08,609
Alright, I'll sleep over first.
450
00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:10,780
Oh, I don't care what happens to you.
451
00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:12,249
You can be anywhere.
452
00:18:14,186 --> 00:18:16,257
He's mean to me because he loves me.
453
00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:19,998
Now I see where you get it from.
454
00:18:19,998 --> 00:18:22,870
?
455
00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:24,874
Oh, Carrie just texted.
456
00:18:24,874 --> 00:18:26,745
The week is up, so she's stopping by
457
00:18:26,745 --> 00:18:28,381
to see if I can keep her on or not,
458
00:18:28,381 --> 00:18:29,450
which I really can't.
459
00:18:29,450 --> 00:18:31,822
So, um, what's your evening like?
460
00:18:32,724 --> 00:18:34,961
I have to babysit Grandpa tonight.
461
00:18:34,961 --> 00:18:38,134
- You people are slowly killing me.
- Mm.
462
00:18:38,134 --> 00:18:43,010
Oh, well, uh, you didn't
have to physically return her.
463
00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:44,514
She needs fresh air.
464
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:46,350
And I need to go over
some things with you.
465
00:18:46,350 --> 00:18:48,254
- Mm.
- Okay.
466
00:18:48,254 --> 00:18:50,492
Here we go. Okay.
467
00:18:50,492 --> 00:18:51,494
Alright, just an update...
468
00:18:51,494 --> 00:18:53,164
her vitals are good,
she's eating better,
469
00:18:53,164 --> 00:18:55,034
and her blood pressure is nice and low.
470
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,974
Don't you got any good news?
471
00:18:57,974 --> 00:18:59,409
She's gonna need some physical therapy
472
00:18:59,409 --> 00:19:01,347
for that improperly healed broken arm.
473
00:19:01,347 --> 00:19:03,017
Broken arm? When did that happen?
474
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,956
Mm. I think a pretty good while ago.
475
00:19:05,956 --> 00:19:07,192
But you need to ask her.
476
00:19:07,192 --> 00:19:09,263
She didn't want to talk about it.
477
00:19:09,263 --> 00:19:11,133
I just got her medical records.
478
00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:13,572
Okay. Well, does this
mention the burns she got
479
00:19:13,572 --> 00:19:16,076
from when Dorothy
threw the water on her?
480
00:19:20,853 --> 00:19:21,922
Hello, Jackie. [Laughs]
481
00:19:21,922 --> 00:19:23,559
Oh, you remember who I am.
482
00:19:23,559 --> 00:19:27,867
Okay, so, Mom, what is all this about
483
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:32,209
you breaking your arm in 1965?
484
00:19:32,209 --> 00:19:34,012
That's before we moved
in with Nana Mary.
485
00:19:34,012 --> 00:19:35,516
We were still living with Dad.
486
00:19:35,516 --> 00:19:39,657
5643 Christiana. Elgin. Third floor...
487
00:19:39,657 --> 00:19:41,528
Okay. Okay. Calm down.
488
00:19:41,528 --> 00:19:43,932
- Calm down, beautiful mind.
- Yeah.
489
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:45,034
So while we're going through this,
490
00:19:45,034 --> 00:19:46,403
you want something to eat, or...?
491
00:19:46,403 --> 00:19:49,443
I wouldn't eat anything in
this ptomaine tabernacle.
492
00:19:49,443 --> 00:19:51,681
Mm. Moving on.
493
00:19:51,681 --> 00:19:54,888
"Patient brought in to
hospital by mother..."
494
00:19:54,888 --> 00:19:55,956
That's Nana Mary.
495
00:19:55,956 --> 00:19:58,729
"With her two young
girls. Refuses cast."
496
00:19:58,729 --> 00:20:00,933
- [Sighs]
- Well, that's why it never healed right.
497
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:03,939
Why in the world would
you say no to a cast?
498
00:20:03,939 --> 00:20:06,745
I don't want to talk about this.
499
00:20:06,745 --> 00:20:08,782
How did you break your
arm in the first place?
500
00:20:08,782 --> 00:20:09,817
Why didn't Dad bring you in?
501
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:11,320
- Where was Dad?
- I don't know.
502
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,457
Stop asking questions.
503
00:20:16,765 --> 00:20:20,539
Mom, did Dad do this?
504
00:20:20,539 --> 00:20:22,610
Why do you keep asking?
505
00:20:22,610 --> 00:20:24,948
I didn't want you to know what he did.
506
00:20:24,948 --> 00:20:26,618
He was gonna hit you, and I stopped him,
507
00:20:26,618 --> 00:20:28,287
and he broke my arm.
508
00:20:29,423 --> 00:20:30,559
Oh, my God.
509
00:20:30,559 --> 00:20:33,331
That's why we moved in with Nana Mary.
510
00:20:33,331 --> 00:20:35,435
Well, I couldn't let him hurt you two.
511
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:37,673
You girls didn't do anything.
You were just little girls.
512
00:20:37,673 --> 00:20:39,076
Stop making me talk about this.
513
00:20:39,076 --> 00:20:40,278
- I need to leave.
- Okay.
514
00:20:40,278 --> 00:20:42,048
Mom, Mom. I... I just...
515
00:20:42,048 --> 00:20:46,190
I had no idea. Thank you.
516
00:20:50,632 --> 00:20:53,270
- I... I need to go.
- Okay.
517
00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:55,709
Well, Carrie's gonna take you
home and stay with you tonight,
518
00:20:55,709 --> 00:21:00,686
and, um, she's gonna be
helping us from now on.
519
00:21:02,022 --> 00:21:05,729
Don't worry, Beverly. I'm right here.
520
00:21:05,729 --> 00:21:09,069
Not that arm, dummy. That's the bad arm.
521
00:21:09,069 --> 00:21:11,373
What kind of a nurse are you?
522
00:21:14,547 --> 00:21:15,916
Come on.
523
00:21:16,951 --> 00:21:19,222
- Thanks.
- Everything okay?
524
00:21:19,222 --> 00:21:23,264
Yeah. It's just that...
525
00:21:23,264 --> 00:21:27,138
that milkshake's gonna cost you $300.
526
00:21:27,138 --> 00:21:29,076
?
527
00:21:31,781 --> 00:21:33,384
How's your stew?
528
00:21:33,384 --> 00:21:35,522
You mean the roadkill
they throw into a pot
529
00:21:35,522 --> 00:21:38,060
with a couple of carrots? Terrible.
530
00:21:38,060 --> 00:21:39,096
Forget about that.
531
00:21:39,096 --> 00:21:41,233
I brought you something very special.
532
00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:43,437
Aww, you didn't have
to do that, Grandma Bev.
533
00:21:43,437 --> 00:21:46,911
You don't know this, but this
is my late husband's watch.
534
00:21:46,911 --> 00:21:48,882
I want you to have it.
535
00:21:50,619 --> 00:21:52,355
No, you don't.
536
00:21:52,405 --> 00:21:56,955
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