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1
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Previously on young Sheldon...
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- Here we are.
- What is this?
3
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:08,383
A dorm room. And it's all yours.
4
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,053
You can study, take naps,
do whatever you want.
5
00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:12,303
No one's living here?
6
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:16,725
Well, we had an Indian exchange student,
but he developed a taste for barbecue,
7
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,810
so, his parents made him go home.
8
00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:20,896
Wait. He has a room here and at school?
9
00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:23,899
You have your own room.
I never had that growing up.
10
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,485
And then I was in the barracks
and then I married your mother.
11
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,737
- Dang.
- Yeah, tell me about it.
12
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,697
What happened to
appreciating what you have?
13
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,157
Yeah, yeah. Bla, bla, bla.
14
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,785
- Wait. You have a single?
- Uh-huh.
15
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,245
And you don't even sleep here?
16
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:39,498
We”, sometimes I take naps,
but that mattress is lumpy-wumpy.
17
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:45,337
I was learning to enjoy
the perks of university life,
18
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:48,340
including a dorm to study and nap in.
19
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,050
And since this was college,
20
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,970
I was even allowed
to have girls in my room.
21
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There we go, nice and clean.
22
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,182
Did you use the unscented detergent?
23
00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,268
You've got a nose. Sniff it yourself.
24
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:03,272
I even had my own bathroom,
25
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:06,149
which gave me the perfect place
to store my impressive collection
26
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,193
of sunscreens and bug repellents.
27
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:11,697
However, one thing
I would never get used to
28
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:15,659
was college students'
love of blasting rock and roll music.
29
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,931
- Uh, who are you?
- I'm in the room next door.
30
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,430
Oh, you're that smart kid.
31
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,310
- Who is it?
- That smart kid.
32
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:42,436
Tell him to come in.
33
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,605
- Wanna come in?
- No, I'm here to complain.
34
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,648
- He's here to complain.
- Then don't let him in.
35
00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:47,566
You can't come in.
36
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:50,402
I'm trying to study
and your loud music is very distracting.
37
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:51,653
You mean the game?
38
00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:54,781
"The game"? I'm not up
on today's one-named pop stars.
39
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,116
No, it's a video game.
40
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,826
You have video games?
41
00:01:57,909 --> 00:01:59,119
A bunch. You play?
42
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,705
My meemaw and I beat quest of adeera.
43
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,165
Dude, this kid beat adeera.
44
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,333
Tell him to come in.
45
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:05,416
Come in.
46
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,380
- Hello.
- What's up, homie?
47
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,134
Why do you have a rosetta stone poster?
48
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,011
Linguistics major.
49
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:17,971
Sit. You can play next.
50
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,640
So, how old are you?
51
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,683
- Twelve.
- Damn.
52
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,393
And they let you live here by yourself?
53
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,437
That room is just
for during the day to study.
54
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,231
- Didn't I see some lady in there?
- That must have been my mom.
55
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:29,608
Dude, his mom is hot.
56
00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,194
What is wrong with you?
Don't listen to him.
57
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,196
He thinks any female
with a pulse is hot.
58
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,573
- I don't think your mom is hot.
- Congratulations.
59
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:37,866
You're more mature than him.
60
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,118
Don't feel bad.
I'm more mature than most people.
61
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,245
You're up.
62
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:46,458
Grownups and the elderly
had always liked me,
63
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:49,294
and now, I had won over undergrads.
64
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:53,215
Like a beloved board game,
I'm fun for ages nine to 90.
65
00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:19,074
Look at these prices.
66
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,826
I could make this dress for missy.
67
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,577
Meemaw, make her stop!
68
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:25,372
Come on, Mary. You already
got one kid that gets picked on.
69
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,583
Oh, cute.
70
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,627
Oh, it's a little short.
71
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,087
It's supposed to be this length.
72
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:33,338
It's adorable.
73
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:34,423
Thank you.
74
00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,717
- Does it come down any?
- Mom!
75
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,176
Come on, Mary, it's fine.
76
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,637
Well, you're not getting it.
77
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,305
All my friends dress like this.
78
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,975
Arms by your sides. I wanna measure.
79
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,896
See, it's shorter than your fingertips.
80
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,314
What the hell is happening?
81
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,816
She wants to ruin my life.
82
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,359
The school dress code says that
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00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,903
all bottoms must extend
past the fingertips.
84
00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:58,989
It's close enough
and they don't even check.
85
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:02,659
Well, I am not wasting good money on
something that you can't wear to school.
86
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:04,369
Then I'll wear it on weekends.
87
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,037
Go try on something else.
88
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,917
I'll get it for her.
I don't mind wasting my money.
89
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,502
Please?
90
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,797
Fine. But you're not
wearin' it to school
91
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,507
and you're not wearin' it
without tights.
92
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,592
Love you.
93
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,594
Hey, I'm the one paying for it!
94
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:21,762
Love you more!
95
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,472
Hear that?
96
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,977
Hey, Tom, you wanted to see me?
97
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,020
Yeah. Why don't you shut the door
and have a seat?
98
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,982
The door? This can't be good.
99
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:42,616
Uh, look, you know,
your team didn't have a great year.
100
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:43,617
I'm aware.
101
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,620
I'm aware, too, 'cause I've been
hearing about it everywhere.
102
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:50,332
The grocery store,
gas station, barbershop...
103
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,084
And I'm only in there
30 seconds, George.
104
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:56,505
I know people are upset,
but we're going to turn things around.
105
00:04:56,588 --> 00:05:02,135
Look, I'm on your side, but you should
know the boosters got pitchforks out.
106
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:07,390
I mean, not literally, but Charlie Dean
owns that feed store, so...
107
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:08,850
Are you saying I'm losing my job?
108
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:13,230
No, I'm just saying
you just got some fires to put out.
109
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:14,773
What am I supposed to do?
110
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:17,901
Talk to the boosters
and tell them something encouraging.
111
00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:20,320
Yeah, got it.
112
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,823
And say it like your job depends on it.
113
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:25,534
Not that it does.
114
00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:28,370
But it does.
115
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,768
- Watch out for the cybertoad.
- What's a cybertoad?
116
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,293
They're evil little robot frogs.
117
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,129
Although they're only known
as cybertoads in the west.
118
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:40,382
- In Japan, they're known as...
- Mechagamas.
119
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,677
- Can I finish my own thoughts, please?
- He's very sensitive.
120
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,720
I'm protective of my fun facts, too.
121
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,765
I'm hungry. You wanna order something?
122
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,184
- Chinese?
- Little man, you want Chinese?
123
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:52,949
I don't know.
I've never had Chinese food.
124
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,104
Really?
125
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:55,829
We get it, like, two,
three times a week.
126
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,900
Chinese food three times a week?
That seems excessive.
127
00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:00,986
How have you never had an egg roll?
128
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,821
Mom, can I please be picked up later?
129
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:05,448
No, your meemaw is already on her way.
130
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,118
But the people next door
want me to try an egg roll.
131
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,579
What people?
Don't take food from strangers.
132
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,706
They're not strangers.
They're Oscar and Darren.
133
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,749
Well, they're strangers to me.
134
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:18,628
Well, maybe when meemaw gets here,
she can wait in the car for a few hours?
135
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,714
That is not happening and you know it.
136
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:23,133
Can we at least have
Chinese food for dinner?
137
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,468
I'm makin' rice-a-roni, does that count?
138
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,429
Nothing Chinese ends in "a-roni."
139
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:28,889
Well, their loss.
140
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,978
Oh, I know that face.
141
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,230
Heartburn? Gas?
What are we working with?
142
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:38,690
Not in the mood, Wayne.
143
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:41,234
Are you in the mood for tums?
I could hook you up.
144
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,114
Apparently, the football boosters
think I'm not doing my job
145
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,718
just 'cause they give
a little money to the team.
146
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:49,743
A lot of money.
147
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,120
They give some amount
of money to the team.
148
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,622
And a new scoreboard.
149
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:57,208
Okay. But I give my time,
my talent, my sweat.
150
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,878
You see any boosters out there
doing two-a-day summer practice?
151
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,421
- I do not.
- Damn right.
152
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,232
If they really wanna help,
you know what they can do?
153
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,134
Give birth to stronger, faster kids
'cause theirs ain't cutting it.
154
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,304
You know you're gonna
have to talk to them, right?
155
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,222
Yes.
156
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:14,351
You know you can't say
that stuff about their kids, right?
157
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,938
What if it comes up organically?
158
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,148
Maybe I should come.
159
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,776
I'm not gonna insult their children.
160
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,277
Are you sure?
161
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,488
Okay, come.
162
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,038
Where's the coffee?
163
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,457
I finished it.
164
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,460
When you finish a pot,
you're supposed to make more.
165
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:44,005
- Oh, is that the rule?
- It is for him.
166
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,256
Why are you reading my paper?
167
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:48,385
Well, pardon me for keeping up
on events of the day.
168
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,179
Tomorrow's headline.
"Father strangles son."
169
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:54,099
Good luck, my horoscope says
things are looking up.
170
00:07:56,017 --> 00:08:00,021
- Well, don't you look nice!
- Nice and boring, thanks to you.
171
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,315
Is everyone gonna be crabby today?
172
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,775
I've been a delight.
173
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,568
Dad, can we just leave?
174
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,446
- I haven't had my coffee yet.
- I'll give you a ride.
175
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:09,698
Thanks.
176
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:11,574
Where are the damn filters?
177
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,369
They're in the cabinet,
where they always are.
178
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:18,164
These two. Fightin' like
the Serbs and Croatians in Bosnia.
179
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,629
Mom make you wear that?
180
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,047
Yeah.
181
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:28,967
She did the same thing to me
with pleated khakis.
182
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,844
I looked like pastor Jeff.
183
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,555
Well, she doesn't know
that I brought a change.
184
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:34,931
Good for you.
185
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,808
I tried cutting the khakis into shorts.
186
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,811
- Did it help?
- No. I looked like Sheldon.
187
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,771
That's tragic.
188
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,183
You never get any glory
without a little pain.
189
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,694
I know we've had our share lately.
190
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:51,531
We've got the pieces in place
for next year, and with your support,
191
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,450
we're gonna make it happen.
192
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:56,411
I think we can agree
that our boys are in good hands here.
193
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:57,912
So, thanks for coming out.
194
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,082
- Go, wolves!
- I got a question.
195
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:02,917
Go ahead, Roy.
196
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,085
That game against Tyler,
197
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,796
what in the hell were you thinking,
198
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,507
punting with a minute twenty-four
on the clock?
199
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:10,842
That's a fair question.
200
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,054
Sure is.
201
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,100
That was a tough one, but our offense
was giving up 30 pounds
202
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:23,772
to everyone across the line
and we had a quarterback who had an...
203
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,024
Uneasy relationship with...
204
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,110
Holding on to the ball.
205
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,571
So, you're blaming our kids?
206
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:32,654
- Well...
- No.
207
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,491
- No? No.
- No.
208
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,576
Look, they're great kids.
A lot of heart.
209
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,828
But they were getting killed out there.
210
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,039
It's a coach's job
to know when to pull back.
211
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,832
So, your strategy is to surrender.
212
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,042
That's not what I'm saying.
213
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:47,337
You know who don't surrender?
That new coach they got up at carthage.
214
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,482
- Oh. You know he played for the packers.
- Mm-hmm.
215
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,386
Oh, come on.
He played for two minutes,
216
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,224
broke his collarbone,
and that was his career!
217
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:54,984
That's two minutes more than you played!
218
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:58,180
Help me.
219
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,185
Vince lombardi
never played for the pros.
220
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:03,895
So, now this clown is Vince lombardi?
221
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:09,192
I'm not lombardi, but I don't need
to put up with this crap.
222
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:12,278
Wait. What I think
we're all seeing is the passion
223
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:13,905
that coach Cooper brings to the field.
224
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,658
What you're seein' is me
runnin' out of Patience. Meeting's over.
225
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,869
There it is, the Cooper surrender.
226
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,580
- The Cooper surrender.
- Bye-bye!
227
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,459
Straight up now tell me
228
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:30,421
do you really want to love me forever
oh, oh, oh
229
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:33,133
or am I caught in a hit and run?
230
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,511
Straight up now tell me
231
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:40,390
is it gonna be you and me together
oh, oh, oh
232
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,976
or are you just having fun?
233
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,439
- What's the matter?
- Everything.
234
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:49,983
Did somebody die?
235
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,820
- No.
- Then we can fix it.
236
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,822
Come on.
237
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:56,905
Come here.
238
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:01,077
I was wearing the new skirt.
I felt really good.
239
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:04,080
- Cute skirt.
- Thanks.
240
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,958
Your legs are so hairy.
241
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,211
- Ew.
- Gross.
242
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:11,880
Those bitches.
243
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:13,464
Thank you.
244
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,467
Is that why you got on sweatpants?
245
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:18,761
It gets worse.
246
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,180
Oh, boy.
247
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:23,308
I came home and I was in the bathroom
248
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,602
and I saw mom's leg razor...
249
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:28,855
Oh, no, please tell me
you also saw shaving cream?
250
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,982
- I didn't.
- Soap?
251
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:35,570
Water? Lotion? Anything?
252
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,709
Hey, it's Darren.
253
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:46,581
Hello.
254
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,458
Any chance you play dungeons & dragons?
255
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:52,503
And how. I once created
a campaign set in 1940s London,
256
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,172
where Alan turing was a character,
257
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:57,884
and I had the mathematicians be magic
users with theorems instead of spells.
258
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,927
- The intelligence officers were...
- "Yes" works.
259
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,971
We're playing tonight
and we're down a magic user.
260
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,848
- You in?
- When are you playing?
261
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,600
We start at 7:00.
We'll go till whenever.
262
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,061
My mom didn't let me
stay past 6:00 yesterday.
263
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,647
- She'll never let me stay till whenever.
- Bummer.
264
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,607
Mm. You could play at my house.
265
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,442
- No.
- Bummer.
266
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,986
I've never said that before.
Did it sound cool?
267
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,030
- No.
- Bummer.
268
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,412
Oh, before you open that,
269
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,873
could you pick up Sheldon,
so I can get dinner on?
270
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,209
- Do I have to?
- I'm sorry.
271
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,294
I guess I'll do
all the parenting around here.
272
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:36,339
I'm havin' a hell of a day.
Can I get five minutes of peace?
273
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,591
When do I get five minutes of peace?
274
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:41,636
Honestly, can you just
take this one thing off my plate?
275
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:47,725
- Hello.
- Dad.
276
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,519
My friends are playing
dungeons & dragons.
277
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,689
Can I please stay the night
in my dorm room? I promise it's safe.
278
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,524
Fine with me.
279
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,109
Thank you. Bye.
280
00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:58,736
That was easy.
281
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:00,571
- Who was that?
- Sheldon.
282
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,490
He's gonna stay the night in his dorm.
283
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,450
Why would you let him do that?
284
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,119
One more thing off your plate.
285
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:17,505
You did not just tell our son
that he could stay the night by himself.
286
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:19,674
The campus is safe,
and he's not by himself.
287
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:22,468
- He's with friends.
- Friends that we don't know!
288
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:23,845
What if there is alcohol?
289
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,972
Then they're going
to get a lot of fun facts
290
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,682
about the history
of fermented beverages.
291
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,351
- I am serious.
- So am I.
292
00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:32,186
How else would I know
that monkeys get drunk
293
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,022
by eating rotten fruit
off the jungle floor?
294
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:36,899
He is not ready
for this kind of situation.
295
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,627
Mary, he's a good kid.
296
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,361
He's not gonna drink
anything he shouldn't.
297
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,989
And if he cared about peer pressure,
he wouldn't wear a bow tie.
298
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,660
I don't know.
I don't think I should.
299
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,078
It's just root beer.
300
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,956
This late in the evening,
my mother wouldn't approve.
301
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,207
Okay.
302
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,686
Then again, I didn't think
they'd let me stay and they did,
303
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,961
so maybe it's fine.
304
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,713
I know. Why don't you roll for it?
305
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,173
Ooh, good idea.
306
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,010
Seventeen. Guess I'll have it.
307
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:09,891
- We playing?
- Hold on. Do you have a coaster?
308
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,018
Yeah, it's in the China cabinet.
309
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,479
And where would that be?
310
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,108
You're good with band-aids.
311
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:23,863
I've had practice on Sheldon.
He's a fragile boy.
312
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,491
I don't want to go back
to school tomorrow.
313
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:29,035
You have to. You can't let them win.
314
00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:32,872
But wear pants. This is hard to look at.
315
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:36,334
I heard women in Europe don't shave.
Maybe I should move there.
316
00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:39,629
They also drink warm beer.
They don't know what they're doing.
317
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:42,924
Will you show me
how to do it the right way?
318
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:47,011
Shave? Yeah. Drink?
Your dad's the expert.
319
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:50,431
Boys have it so easy.
They can be as hairy as they want.
320
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:53,643
Yeah. But they got to walk around
being dumb and smelly all the time.
321
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:54,727
Who wants that?
322
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,312
So I have to shave forever,
323
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,106
then marry someone
who's dumb and smelly?
324
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:02,193
Not necessarily,
but there's a good chance.
325
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,153
That's depressing.
326
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,905
That's where the drinking comes in.
327
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:10,700
Where are you going?
328
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:14,705
- To get our son.
- Mary, leave him alone. He's fine.
329
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:18,334
We have no idea who he's with,
and you don't even care.
330
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,879
You're right. Do whatever you want.
331
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:23,506
What is your problem?
332
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:26,759
- Doesn't matter.
- Hey.
333
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:33,724
If something is going on, tell me.
334
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:38,729
They're coming after me at work.
335
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:40,730
Who?
336
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,443
The boosters. They want a new coach.
337
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:48,322
Are you getting fired?
338
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:49,906
I don't know.
339
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,492
Maybe.
340
00:15:58,749 --> 00:15:59,834
Don't you have to go?
341
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:09,969
I'm sorry.
342
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:24,858
Thank you.
343
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,342
You open the gate of the crypt
344
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,745
and you see
two identical elven princesses.
345
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,330
Sheldon, what do you do?
346
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:40,208
I don't feel so good.
347
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,334
What's going on?
348
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,169
My stomach hurts.
349
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:45,671
- How much did you eat?
- Well...
350
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,847
- Dude.
- I need to lie down.
351
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,850
Oh, I don't wanna throw up.
352
00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,120
- We don't want you to throw up.
- If he throws up, I throw up.
353
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:02,414
- What should we do?
- I don't know. Why are you asking me?
354
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:03,940
You're the closest to a mom here.
355
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:05,441
I don't know. Call his mom.
356
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:06,651
Oh, no. Don't call my mom.
357
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,694
She'll never let me do this again.
358
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,446
Get him something to throw up in.
359
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:12,907
No, not the skittles.
360
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:15,618
Here.
361
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:20,331
Next door, there's an emergency
alka-seltzer tablet
362
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:21,791
in my bathroom medicine chest.
363
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:24,102
- You have a bathroom?
- Why does he get a bathroom?
364
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,446
Go throw up in your own bathroom.
365
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:28,005
I don't know if I can make it.
366
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:32,260
Get his door!
367
00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:37,431
- 4tslocked.
- The key. I'm not gonna make it.
368
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:38,975
- Please make it.
- What is going on?
369
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,269
Sheldon, are you okay?
370
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:42,603
My stomach hurts.
371
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,565
- He's gonna throw up.
- Did you give him beer?
372
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,942
- Did they give you beer?
- Just root beer.
373
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,819
It's gonna be okay, baby.
374
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,281
Why is it so colorful?
375
00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:56,909
- Too many...
- Skittles.
26722
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