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1
00:00:04,884 --> 00:00:07,603
- Here's some more coffee, sweetheart.
- Thanks.
2
00:00:07,724 --> 00:00:09,077
Sam.
3
00:00:09,204 --> 00:00:12,514
Will you give me your opinion
of this Mother's Day card?
4
00:00:13,004 --> 00:00:15,916
- The rose looks wilted.
- Now read the poem.
5
00:00:18,004 --> 00:00:23,556
"In all the world, there is naught
Dearer to us than the thought
6
00:00:23,684 --> 00:00:29,156
"That other loves may quickly perish
But Mother's love, we always cherish"
7
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:33,756
In my opinion,
the poem goes great with the rose.
8
00:00:34,684 --> 00:00:37,152
That's not the opinion
of Augustus Sunshine.
9
00:00:37,284 --> 00:00:38,922
Who's Augustus Sunshine?
10
00:00:39,044 --> 00:00:42,957
Owner and head writer
of the Happy Heart Greeting Card Company.
11
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:46,633
Their sales have been slipping,
and Mr Sunshine can't understand why.
12
00:00:46,764 --> 00:00:49,278
Why don't you show him in red and white?
13
00:00:49,604 --> 00:00:52,323
Why don't I forget about business,
and let's go to a movie?
14
00:00:53,044 --> 00:00:55,114
Okay. I'll get Esmeralda.
15
00:00:55,484 --> 00:00:56,758
Yoo-hoo! Esmeralda! Yoo-hoo!
16
00:00:58,844 --> 00:01:02,519
Good evening, Samantha.
Good evening, Mr Stephens.
17
00:01:02,644 --> 00:01:06,239
Good evening, Esmeralda. How are
all the guys and gals in the cosmos?
18
00:01:06,364 --> 00:01:10,357
I wouldn't know.
I only care about one guy, Ramon Verona.
19
00:01:10,484 --> 00:01:12,076
Tonight I have a date with him.
20
00:01:12,204 --> 00:01:14,957
Oh, dear.
We were hoping you could baby-sit.
21
00:01:15,844 --> 00:01:18,438
Well, any other time,
but I couldn't cancel him now.
22
00:01:18,564 --> 00:01:22,682
- Not after all that pleading.
- He was pleading with you?
23
00:01:22,804 --> 00:01:24,840
No. I was pleading with him.
24
00:01:25,564 --> 00:01:29,716
That's our little game. Ramon plays
hard to get, and I play a cinch.
25
00:01:29,844 --> 00:01:31,755
Goodbye.
26
00:01:32,084 --> 00:01:33,642
Have a good game.
27
00:01:34,564 --> 00:01:36,953
Well, by process of elimination...
28
00:01:37,084 --> 00:01:38,278
Mother!
29
00:01:39,404 --> 00:01:40,723
Mother?
30
00:01:46,444 --> 00:01:48,241
Greetings, all.
31
00:01:48,564 --> 00:01:51,601
I just came from
the international dune buggy races.
32
00:01:51,724 --> 00:01:55,160
Just once, couldn't your mother
come into a room in a normal way?
33
00:01:55,284 --> 00:01:57,275
- How did you do?
- I won.
34
00:01:59,084 --> 00:02:00,483
But I was disqualified
35
00:02:00,604 --> 00:02:03,164
because my wheels were off the ground.
36
00:02:03,284 --> 00:02:06,879
Well, your wheels are on my rug,
and I'll thank you to get them off.
37
00:02:07,004 --> 00:02:11,077
He sounds huffy to me.
Does he sound huffy to you?
38
00:02:12,124 --> 00:02:14,319
Mother, we were wondering
if you'd mind baby-sitting
39
00:02:14,444 --> 00:02:15,638
while we go to a movie.
40
00:02:15,764 --> 00:02:20,394
I would have loved to,
except that Durwood's being huffy to me.
41
00:02:20,524 --> 00:02:23,277
- I'm not being huffy.
- Yes, you are.
42
00:02:23,404 --> 00:02:25,315
And one more word, and I'm leaving.
43
00:02:25,444 --> 00:02:27,719
- Okay.
- That's the word.
44
00:02:29,484 --> 00:02:31,952
Sam, don't you have anything to say?
45
00:02:37,644 --> 00:02:41,956
"In all the world, there is naught
Dearer to us than the thought
46
00:02:42,084 --> 00:02:47,602
"That other loves may quickly perish
But Mother's love, we always cherish"
47
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:54,159
I didn't wanna go to the movies anyway.
48
00:02:56,404 --> 00:02:57,678
Sweetheart?
49
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:02,041
There is a way
to make Mother more friendly.
50
00:03:03,084 --> 00:03:04,403
Okay, let's hear it.
51
00:03:04,524 --> 00:03:09,598
- Well, there's this magic amulet...
- Forget it. I've got enough magic in my life.
52
00:03:10,044 --> 00:03:11,272
Oh, really?
53
00:03:12,284 --> 00:03:14,514
Present company excepted.
54
00:03:18,044 --> 00:03:20,558
I didn't wanna go to the movies anyway.
55
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:17,319
Sweetheart! It's 8:00.
56
00:04:19,724 --> 00:04:21,442
Okay. Okay.
57
00:04:39,764 --> 00:04:41,436
Good morning, Durwood.
58
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,517
Samantha!
59
00:05:09,844 --> 00:05:11,436
What's the matter?
60
00:05:11,564 --> 00:05:12,917
What happened?
61
00:05:13,044 --> 00:05:15,797
Your mother happened.
That's what happened.
62
00:05:16,644 --> 00:05:21,559
- Well, I'll have a talk with her.
- Never mind the talking. Just get the amulet.
63
00:05:21,684 --> 00:05:24,073
- Daddy has it.
- Hurry back.
64
00:05:28,524 --> 00:05:29,524
This is it.
65
00:05:29,604 --> 00:05:32,641
Daddy used it throughout the centuries
whenever Mother got out of line.
66
00:05:32,764 --> 00:05:36,996
- I'm surprised it isn't worn out by now.
- But now, since they go their separate ways,
67
00:05:37,124 --> 00:05:40,673
I convinced him that, for the moment,
you need it more than he does.
68
00:05:40,804 --> 00:05:42,404
- Let's try it out.
- Now, wait a minute.
69
00:05:42,484 --> 00:05:45,521
There are two rules.
One, keep it with you at all times.
70
00:05:45,644 --> 00:05:47,043
And two, don't abuse it.
71
00:05:47,164 --> 00:05:50,156
Because using witchcraft
on a powerful witch, like Mother,
72
00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:51,763
is living dangerously.
73
00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:54,717
Well, sweetheart,
with your mother as my mother-in-law,
74
00:05:54,844 --> 00:05:59,042
- I live dangerously every day.
- Put it in your pocket, and I'll call her.
75
00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:01,559
Mother!
76
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:03,473
Mother?
77
00:06:03,884 --> 00:06:06,523
- Good morning, Samantha.
- Good morning, Mother.
78
00:06:06,644 --> 00:06:08,441
Good morning, Darrin.
79
00:06:09,364 --> 00:06:11,195
Good morning who?
80
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:14,801
Darrin, dear boy.
81
00:06:15,524 --> 00:06:16,964
Would you accept my humble apologies
82
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:20,434
for my slight transgressions
of this morning and last night?
83
00:06:20,644 --> 00:06:22,839
I behaved frightfully.
84
00:06:23,564 --> 00:06:26,476
Your behaviour last night was frightful.
85
00:06:26,604 --> 00:06:28,276
This morning, it was hideous.
86
00:06:28,404 --> 00:06:31,874
- Darrin.
- The dear boy is quite right.
87
00:06:32,004 --> 00:06:35,314
It's no way for a mother-in-law
to treat her son-in-law.
88
00:06:36,044 --> 00:06:38,035
Would you accept my apology?
89
00:06:38,404 --> 00:06:40,759
- Well...
- Would you think about it?
90
00:06:42,244 --> 00:06:45,077
- Yeah, I'll think about it.
- Thank you.
91
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:48,116
Excuse me, Mother,
but Darrin's late for work.
92
00:06:51,124 --> 00:06:52,443
I'll see you later, Endora.
93
00:06:52,684 --> 00:06:56,438
And I'd appreciate it
if you'd wear something less weird.
94
00:06:57,484 --> 00:07:00,317
Anything you say, dear boy.
95
00:07:01,364 --> 00:07:02,717
Oh, brother.
96
00:07:07,604 --> 00:07:11,040
- It worked.
- Yes, I know. It worked like a charm.
97
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:14,474
But let's not forget
she's being nice to you against her will.
98
00:07:14,604 --> 00:07:17,960
Who cares? I'll take her being nice to me
any way I can get it.
99
00:07:18,084 --> 00:07:19,220
Let's not make her suspicious.
100
00:07:19,244 --> 00:07:23,522
If she finds out that I've given you
Daddy's amulet, we're both in for it.
101
00:07:24,364 --> 00:07:25,683
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
102
00:07:32,004 --> 00:07:34,234
- Mother, you all right?
- No.
103
00:07:34,364 --> 00:07:39,836
My disgustingly sweet behaviour
toward Durwood indicates I'm quite ill.
104
00:07:40,324 --> 00:07:42,884
Mother, you're just being kind
and considerate.
105
00:07:43,124 --> 00:07:46,116
There's no question about it. I'm sick.
106
00:07:46,644 --> 00:07:50,239
I'd better make an appointment
with Dr Bombay for a thorough checkup.
107
00:07:50,364 --> 00:07:52,002
There's no time to lose.
108
00:07:57,164 --> 00:08:00,440
Mr Stephens, look who came to town
to pay us a surprise visit.
109
00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:04,079
- Mr Augustus Sunshine.
- Mr Sunshine, it's a pleasure to meet you.
110
00:08:04,204 --> 00:08:08,959
"In the recipe of life, the ideal blendship
To ward off strife is known as friendship"
111
00:08:09,084 --> 00:08:12,281
Happy Heart greeting card number 3417-Y.
112
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:13,917
Words to live by.
113
00:08:14,364 --> 00:08:17,276
- Right, Mr Stephens?
- Right, Mr Tate.
114
00:08:17,404 --> 00:08:21,761
- I wonder why that card hasn't been selling.
- I blame it on inflation and tight money.
115
00:08:22,684 --> 00:08:25,039
Mr Stephens, be frank with me.
116
00:08:25,524 --> 00:08:28,960
Do you think the poems
on my greeting cards may be outdated?
117
00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:30,881
Well, Mr Sunshine,
now that you mention it...
118
00:08:31,004 --> 00:08:34,713
Mr Stephens, you haven't forgotten
that Mr Sunshine writes those poems?
119
00:08:34,844 --> 00:08:39,360
Well, no, but I'm sure Mr Sunshine
wants an honest appraisal.
120
00:08:40,044 --> 00:08:42,274
Would you like an honest appraisal,
Mr Sunshine?
121
00:08:42,404 --> 00:08:44,838
- Certainly.
- Go ahead, Mr Stephens.
122
00:08:45,844 --> 00:08:49,723
Well, your poems, Mr Sunshine,
were very effective in their time,
123
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:54,560
but in today's uptight world, people like
to exchange cards that have more humour.
124
00:08:54,684 --> 00:08:58,597
You're saying that my poems are outdated.
Well, perhaps they are outdated.
125
00:09:00,044 --> 00:09:01,044
Then, on the other hand,
126
00:09:01,164 --> 00:09:03,758
perhaps the advertising concepts
being used are outdated,
127
00:09:03,884 --> 00:09:08,719
and I need a new advertising agency.
Goodbye, Stephens. Nice to have met you.
128
00:09:17,884 --> 00:09:19,158
- Hi, honey.
- Oh, hi.
129
00:09:19,284 --> 00:09:20,433
- How was your day?
- Fine.
130
00:09:20,564 --> 00:09:22,520
- How was yours?
- Not so fine.
131
00:09:22,644 --> 00:09:25,283
It looks like we've lost
that greeting card account.
132
00:09:25,404 --> 00:09:26,757
But who cares?
133
00:09:27,204 --> 00:09:31,038
My life is a lot simpler
since I've got my safety badge from evil.
134
00:09:32,044 --> 00:09:35,923
Hey, why don't you call your mother?
I haven't seen her all day, and I miss her.
135
00:09:36,044 --> 00:09:39,514
Darrin, this is not for fun and games.
136
00:09:39,644 --> 00:09:43,034
It is to be used in self-defence
and with great discretion.
137
00:09:43,164 --> 00:09:45,120
Okay, okay. Whatever you say.
138
00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:47,281
I'll go look in on the kids.
139
00:09:58,284 --> 00:10:00,764
- You want anything from the kitchen?
- No, thanks, sweetheart.
140
00:10:00,884 --> 00:10:02,715
- You hungry?
- Yeah.
141
00:10:02,844 --> 00:10:04,540
And now that I'm on such good terms
with your mother,
142
00:10:04,564 --> 00:10:06,953
my appetite for life has increased.
143
00:10:09,684 --> 00:10:12,323
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow...
144
00:10:26,684 --> 00:10:29,801
Samantha? May I speak to you?
145
00:10:29,924 --> 00:10:31,562
Come in, Mother.
146
00:10:33,564 --> 00:10:38,479
Samantha, I just saw Dr Bombay,
and he gave me a clean bill of health.
147
00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:41,596
- That's wonderful.
- That's terrible.
148
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:46,718
If there's nothing physically wrong with
me, why have I been so nice to Durwood?
149
00:10:47,924 --> 00:10:51,439
Well, Mother, maybe, after all these years,
150
00:10:51,564 --> 00:10:55,079
his charm and natural sweetness
has finally reached you.
151
00:10:56,044 --> 00:10:59,081
You're not keeping any secrets from me,
are you?
152
00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:01,393
Who, me?
153
00:11:01,684 --> 00:11:06,474
You would never be a party
to casting a spell on me,
154
00:11:06,604 --> 00:11:07,878
would you?
155
00:11:08,404 --> 00:11:11,202
- Who, me?
- Of course not.
156
00:11:11,924 --> 00:11:14,392
If there's anyone I can trust,
157
00:11:14,524 --> 00:11:15,673
it's you.
158
00:11:17,004 --> 00:11:18,119
Who, me?
159
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:24,884
Hi.
160
00:11:27,084 --> 00:11:31,316
- Hi, Moms.
- I'm here to enjoy our newfound friendship.
161
00:11:32,764 --> 00:11:35,039
Well, care to make me a sandwich?
162
00:11:36,564 --> 00:11:39,317
Endora, I asked you to make me a sandwich.
163
00:11:39,444 --> 00:11:41,002
Make it yourself, Durwood.
164
00:11:42,804 --> 00:11:44,362
Durwood?
165
00:11:45,044 --> 00:11:48,081
Make it yourself and then choke on it.
166
00:11:48,564 --> 00:11:50,680
Endora, would you excuse me a second?
I have to...
167
00:11:50,804 --> 00:11:53,238
Kiddo, you're not going anywhere.
168
00:11:53,844 --> 00:11:55,357
Samantha!
169
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,075
Sounds like trouble.
170
00:12:06,644 --> 00:12:08,521
That is trouble.
171
00:12:09,844 --> 00:12:12,642
What happened to me
shouldn't happen to a dog.
172
00:12:12,764 --> 00:12:16,393
So, if you want your sandwich, beg for it.
173
00:12:20,524 --> 00:12:21,559
Sit.
174
00:12:22,644 --> 00:12:23,644
Beg.
175
00:12:24,604 --> 00:12:25,639
Play dead.
176
00:12:30,764 --> 00:12:32,197
I think I'll leave him that way.
177
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:36,353
Mother, what are you doing?
178
00:12:36,484 --> 00:12:37,883
Feeding my pet.
179
00:12:39,084 --> 00:12:43,396
You should be ashamed of yourself.
180
00:12:53,964 --> 00:12:57,639
Darrin, forgive me.
I forgot all about your sandwich.
181
00:12:57,764 --> 00:13:01,154
Never mind, Endora.
I seem to have lost my appetite.
182
00:13:01,284 --> 00:13:05,482
- And besides, he's dog tired.
- The poor dear.
183
00:13:06,484 --> 00:13:10,397
- Don't call us. We'll call you.
- Anything you say, Darrin.
184
00:13:12,924 --> 00:13:17,679
If Mother ever finds out about that amulet,
you are going to learn that...
185
00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:26,163
- Which means?
- Hell hath no fury like a bugged witch.
186
00:13:34,924 --> 00:13:35,924
Hello.
187
00:13:36,044 --> 00:13:39,195
Darrin, I've invited Augustus Sunshine
over to the club.
188
00:13:39,324 --> 00:13:42,760
We're having lunch, and I've been trying
to persuade him not to change agencies.
189
00:13:42,884 --> 00:13:44,715
- How are you doing?
- Not so good.
190
00:13:44,844 --> 00:13:47,756
We just finished a round of golf,
and I even managed to lose to him,
191
00:13:47,884 --> 00:13:49,715
but I had to shoot a 97 to do it.
192
00:13:49,844 --> 00:13:52,563
- Well, that's not so bad.
- For nine holes?
193
00:13:52,804 --> 00:13:54,317
Anyway, it didn't work,
194
00:13:54,444 --> 00:13:57,163
so I thought that I'd bring him
over to your place for dessert.
195
00:13:57,284 --> 00:13:59,115
- Why?
- Why do you think?
196
00:13:59,244 --> 00:14:02,156
So you can help me hang on to the account
you managed to jeopardise.
197
00:14:02,284 --> 00:14:03,763
We'll be there in an hour.
198
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:06,796
Tell Samantha not to go to any trouble,
just serve something elegant.
199
00:14:09,004 --> 00:14:11,359
- Who was that?
- Larry.
200
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,600
And in an hour,
he's bringing Augustus Sunshine here,
201
00:14:13,724 --> 00:14:16,079
and we're supposed to serve him
an elegant dessert.
202
00:14:16,204 --> 00:14:17,353
What for?
203
00:14:17,484 --> 00:14:20,282
He thinks we can hang on to the account
with some socialising.
204
00:14:20,404 --> 00:14:22,872
Well, I suppose that's the least we can do.
205
00:14:23,004 --> 00:14:26,201
Elegant dessert, huh?
The Gourmet Pastry Shop,
206
00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:27,940
but you'll have to drive me.
It's always so crowded,
207
00:14:27,964 --> 00:14:30,194
- I can never find a parking space.
- Okay.
208
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,717
Esmeralda?
209
00:14:34,004 --> 00:14:35,642
Yes, Samantha?
210
00:14:35,964 --> 00:14:38,922
Do you think you could baby-sit
for a while this afternoon?
211
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,004
The way things are going
in my romance department,
212
00:14:41,124 --> 00:14:43,763
I'll be able to baby-sit
for the rest of my life.
213
00:14:44,444 --> 00:14:46,180
You ought to get yourself
something like this.
214
00:14:46,204 --> 00:14:48,877
- What is it?
- Darrin, put that away.
215
00:14:49,004 --> 00:14:50,881
Yeah, sorry. Just kidding.
216
00:14:51,564 --> 00:14:54,237
- Kidding about what?
- Nothing. Forget it.
217
00:14:54,564 --> 00:14:56,660
Tabitha's playing on the patio,
and Adam's having his nap.
218
00:14:56,684 --> 00:14:59,244
We'll be back in half an hour. Come on.
219
00:15:13,524 --> 00:15:16,084
Could it be a love charm? Obviously.
220
00:15:16,284 --> 00:15:20,960
How else could a mortal like him make a
witch like Samantha fall in love with him?
221
00:15:22,524 --> 00:15:25,277
Tough luck, Ramon! You're mine!
222
00:15:29,604 --> 00:15:31,515
Hello. Goodbye.
223
00:15:44,484 --> 00:15:47,442
Hi, Mother. You came at a bad time.
We're expecting...
224
00:15:47,964 --> 00:15:52,640
Don't you "Hi, Mother" me!
You ungrateful child.
225
00:15:52,764 --> 00:15:57,042
And as for you, beady eyes,
you are beneath contempt.
226
00:15:58,004 --> 00:16:02,156
What's wrong, Durwood?
Don't you have the magic amulet?
227
00:16:02,964 --> 00:16:06,752
- She knows.
- You bet your sweet broomstick I know.
228
00:16:07,124 --> 00:16:09,319
I began thinking about ancient history,
229
00:16:09,444 --> 00:16:12,675
and I remembered the amulet
your father once had.
230
00:16:13,284 --> 00:16:15,479
- What happened to it?
- Esmeralda.
231
00:16:15,604 --> 00:16:18,072
That's why she was so anxious
to get out of here.
232
00:16:18,204 --> 00:16:22,117
So I went to Maurice,
who could never lie to me,
233
00:16:22,244 --> 00:16:24,519
and I extracted a full confession.
234
00:16:24,644 --> 00:16:26,043
Mother, I...
235
00:16:26,164 --> 00:16:27,164
I...
236
00:16:29,844 --> 00:16:32,199
Samantha, I'm hurt.
237
00:16:33,724 --> 00:16:35,442
And I'm angry.
238
00:16:36,964 --> 00:16:40,320
And I'm so furious,
I'm going to punish the both of you.
239
00:16:46,204 --> 00:16:52,677
"You set aside your true emotions
Your loving, marital devotions
240
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:59,323
"The air around you now grows thicker
As under my spell you constantly bicker"
241
00:17:02,524 --> 00:17:04,719
What do you think she's gonna do?
242
00:17:05,164 --> 00:17:07,041
How should I know, stupid?
243
00:17:07,164 --> 00:17:09,553
Well, you should know, blondie.
You're a certified witch.
244
00:17:09,684 --> 00:17:12,994
When I married you,
I should have been certified insane.
245
00:17:13,124 --> 00:17:14,842
- Me, too.
- Me, too.
246
00:17:14,964 --> 00:17:17,762
My, aren't you
a bottomless pit of originality!
247
00:17:19,604 --> 00:17:22,198
I don't understand it. Why am I so hostile?
248
00:17:22,364 --> 00:17:24,594
- You got me.
- That's the reason!
249
00:17:24,724 --> 00:17:27,761
Oh, no, it isn't.
It's all your mother's fault.
250
00:17:27,884 --> 00:17:30,114
Let's not drag my mother through this.
251
00:17:30,604 --> 00:17:32,993
I'd like to drag her through something.
252
00:17:34,084 --> 00:17:35,995
Sam, get the door. I'm busy.
253
00:17:36,124 --> 00:17:38,513
- Busy doing what?
- Reading.
254
00:17:38,964 --> 00:17:41,558
Really? Didn't know you knew how.
255
00:17:45,884 --> 00:17:48,637
- Hello, Larry.
- Samantha, this is Mr Augustus Sunshine.
256
00:17:49,044 --> 00:17:50,477
Well, it's nice to meet you.
257
00:17:50,604 --> 00:17:51,884
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
258
00:17:51,964 --> 00:17:54,478
Follow me, gentlemen.
Knucklehead is in the living room.
259
00:17:54,604 --> 00:17:57,243
- Knucklehead?
- I guess it's a term of endearment.
260
00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:01,440
Well, Mr Sunshine,
I look forward to chatting with you,
261
00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:03,873
providing my wife can
keep her big mouth shut,
262
00:18:04,004 --> 00:18:06,420
- and we can get a word in edgewise.
- The less you say, buster,
263
00:18:06,444 --> 00:18:08,674
the better your chances
of appearing intelligent.
264
00:18:08,804 --> 00:18:11,557
- Hey, kids, what's going on here?
- Nothing.
265
00:18:11,684 --> 00:18:13,800
Mr Sunshine,
would you like a French pastry?
266
00:18:14,284 --> 00:18:16,354
They look delicious.
Did you bake them yourself?
267
00:18:16,484 --> 00:18:20,841
Are you kidding? If she'd baked them,
the cart would collapse.
268
00:18:20,964 --> 00:18:24,400
- How'd you like a split lip?
- How'd you like a bust in the bazoo?
269
00:18:25,844 --> 00:18:27,880
Sam, why do you let him
talk to you like that?
270
00:18:28,004 --> 00:18:31,235
Well, I figure he's my husband,
he's got a perfect right.
271
00:18:31,364 --> 00:18:33,559
He's got a pretty good left, too.
272
00:18:34,324 --> 00:18:36,838
Darrin, to change
the subject to greeting cards,
273
00:18:36,964 --> 00:18:39,239
as I told Mr Sunshine,
I have every confidence
274
00:18:39,364 --> 00:18:41,434
if we put our shoulders to the wheel...
275
00:18:41,564 --> 00:18:45,796
If you get the contract, dumbo,
I'll show you where to mark your "X."
276
00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:49,280
For two cents,
I'd walk out that door and never come back.
277
00:18:49,484 --> 00:18:51,714
Wait here. I'll get my piggy bank.
278
00:18:54,724 --> 00:18:56,476
Tate, I may be oversensitive,
279
00:18:56,604 --> 00:18:59,243
but I feel we walked in
on a little domestic quarrel.
280
00:18:59,364 --> 00:19:02,913
Well, Mr Sunshine,
I suppose these things can happen,
281
00:19:03,044 --> 00:19:04,557
but not in front of a client.
282
00:19:04,684 --> 00:19:08,723
We'd better go.
And as we do, I also leave this thought.
283
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:13,676
"A lovers' spat is all we had
To mix the good with a touch of bad
284
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:18,400
"Now let us once again draw near
Whilst saying both, I love you, dear"
285
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:21,084
Happy Heart greeting card number 1803-K.
286
00:19:21,444 --> 00:19:23,082
How about this one?
287
00:19:23,324 --> 00:19:28,842
"Married life is never humdrum
When you're stuck with such a dum-dum"
288
00:19:28,964 --> 00:19:30,955
Samantha Stephens, number 86.
289
00:19:31,644 --> 00:19:32,838
Good day.
290
00:19:33,444 --> 00:19:36,993
Wait a minute, Mr Sunshine.
I'm sure this is just a momentary thing.
291
00:19:41,084 --> 00:19:43,314
Having fun, kiddies?
292
00:19:44,364 --> 00:19:47,754
Samantha, I thought this was a love charm,
but it doesn't work.
293
00:19:47,884 --> 00:19:51,638
- Ramon Verona was as cold as ever.
- Well, of course he was.
294
00:19:51,764 --> 00:19:55,040
That amulet has power
over only one person.
295
00:19:55,164 --> 00:19:58,759
Esmeralda, you look lovely.
296
00:19:59,444 --> 00:20:03,073
Ravishing might be
the more accurate description.
297
00:20:03,204 --> 00:20:05,001
- Thank you.
- Mother.
298
00:20:05,124 --> 00:20:06,921
Remove the spell.
299
00:20:08,084 --> 00:20:10,518
Anything you say.
300
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:16,833
"As a witch of great ability
I remove this pair's hostility
301
00:20:17,204 --> 00:20:23,154
"Heed the message from above
You're not sick, you're just in love"
302
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:32,599
- Sweetheart, I'm sorry.
- Why should you be sorry?
303
00:20:32,724 --> 00:20:34,760
Blame your meddling mother.
304
00:20:35,284 --> 00:20:37,115
Ta-ta, Mama.
305
00:20:37,684 --> 00:20:39,003
Ta, darling.
306
00:20:44,524 --> 00:20:46,435
Oh, dear.
307
00:20:50,844 --> 00:20:53,563
What am I gonna tell Larry
and Mr Sunshine?
308
00:20:53,684 --> 00:20:56,562
I don't know,
but I'd better get them back here.
309
00:20:57,044 --> 00:21:01,481
"Augustus Sunshine and Larry Tate
This is Darrin Stephens' mate
310
00:21:01,604 --> 00:21:05,040
"To save us all a lot of trouble
Come back, fellows, on the double"
311
00:21:07,124 --> 00:21:10,799
Tate, I feel a sudden compulsion
to go back to the Stephens house.
312
00:21:11,004 --> 00:21:13,199
That's funny. So do I.
313
00:21:21,484 --> 00:21:25,636
In other words, the whole thing was a fake,
staged for your benefit.
314
00:21:25,804 --> 00:21:27,795
I don't understand.
315
00:21:27,924 --> 00:21:30,757
Well, Darrin was trying to show you
that in today's society
316
00:21:30,884 --> 00:21:35,116
people don't always communicate with...
Well, with sunshine.
317
00:21:35,244 --> 00:21:39,681
Right. Sometimes people like to bicker.
Good-naturedly, of course.
318
00:21:39,804 --> 00:21:42,637
You call the way you two
went at each other good-natured?
319
00:21:42,764 --> 00:21:45,801
Absolutely.
Didn't you see the humour in it?
320
00:21:45,924 --> 00:21:48,154
Yes. I guess it was pretty funny.
321
00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:52,801
- Wasn't it, Tate?
- Sure.
322
00:21:53,524 --> 00:21:55,515
Stephens, were you trying to tell me
323
00:21:55,644 --> 00:21:58,283
that my greeting cards
are too namby-pamby?
324
00:21:58,804 --> 00:22:01,637
We just thought
it was a unique way of suggesting
325
00:22:01,764 --> 00:22:04,756
that you branch out
into funny insult cards.
326
00:22:04,884 --> 00:22:07,717
You know, like,
"Happy birthday, knucklehead."
327
00:22:09,524 --> 00:22:11,674
Happy birthday, knucklehead?
328
00:22:14,164 --> 00:22:16,359
Well, that's just an example.
329
00:22:16,684 --> 00:22:20,472
I mean, I'm not a professional
poet like you, Mr Sunshine.
330
00:22:21,244 --> 00:22:24,953
Funny insult cards.
That's food for thought.
331
00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:28,995
And speaking of food,
may I have one of those pastries?
332
00:22:29,124 --> 00:22:30,443
Have two.
333
00:22:34,484 --> 00:22:36,918
Well, he did it again.
334
00:22:37,684 --> 00:22:40,278
- Right, Larry?
- Yeah.
335
00:22:41,764 --> 00:22:43,243
He did it again.
336
00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:54,281
- Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi.
337
00:22:54,404 --> 00:22:56,713
Hey, I've got a present for you from Daddy.
338
00:22:59,724 --> 00:23:04,320
- Well, that's very nice. When was he here?
- Today.
339
00:23:04,444 --> 00:23:06,833
Mother was so angry at him
for giving us the amulet
340
00:23:06,964 --> 00:23:10,081
that she decided to move back in with him
for a while just to get even.
341
00:23:10,204 --> 00:23:11,860
Well, I hope you gave the amulet
back to him.
342
00:23:11,884 --> 00:23:14,842
I did and he replaced it with a necktie
that doesn't do anything.
343
00:23:14,964 --> 00:23:19,003
- I'll write him a thank-you note.
- Don't bother. He has no address.
344
00:23:20,084 --> 00:23:22,757
I have a present for you
from Augustus Sunshine.
345
00:23:22,884 --> 00:23:24,840
It's his first insult poem.
346
00:23:25,484 --> 00:23:30,035
"Season's greetings to my bride
Who fills my heart with wondrous pride
347
00:23:30,164 --> 00:23:34,362
"She has a figure and a face
That best belong in outer space"
348
00:23:35,084 --> 00:23:39,043
- How do you like it?
- Well, I don't think it's bad for a first effort,
349
00:23:39,164 --> 00:23:42,873
but I wish people wouldn't knock
outer space if they haven't been there.
28734
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