All language subtitles for 27 - The Leprechaun

Anybody home?

Yes, sweetheart.
We're in the kitchen.

Darrin, dear, this
is Brian O'Brian.

Well, well, Darrin, me boy.

I've been looking forward
to this moment, that I have.

Uh... it's a pleasure
to meet you.

Samantha, he's
grand. Just grand.

Brian is a leprechaun.

A leprechaun.

Yes, of course.

May I speak to you
for a minute, dear?

He just got over from
Ireland. How about that?

As I said, Samantha, he's grand.

Samantha... Mmm?

Oh. Would you excuse
me a minute, Brian?

Dear lady, I'd
excuse you anything.

Oh!

Samantha, as your husband
and the head of this house,

I mean, it's no more than common
courtesy that you forewarn me.

I know, dear.

Now, I've put up with elves,
warlocks and poltergeists,

but this leprechaun relative
of yours is just too much.

Darrin, he's not
a relative of mine.

Relative, friend of the
family, it's all the same thing.

He's not a friend of my family.

He's not? No.

He's a friend of your family!

We're very happy
to have you, Brian.

Ah, well, where else do you go

but to friends in
time of trouble?

Trouble? I knew it!

The very gravest kind of
trouble for a leprechaun.

My last pot of gold was
stolen by an American.

Your last?

Well, every leprechaun

has a few hidden here
and there in Ireland.

Two of mine were lost
when they drained some bogs

and bulldozed them for a
real estate development.

And then there
were a couple I lost

on some... confusing weekends.

Uh-huh.

The last one, I
hid behind a stone

in the fireplace of the
old Rafferty cottage.

They were dear friends and
neighbors of the O'Brians.

Well, then, along
comes this rich American

and buys the whole cottage

and moves the fireplace
to the United States

before I can blink me eyes.

Before you could
open them, you mean.

The whole fireplace?

Bodily.

Cobwebs, soot and
my last pot of gold.

Oh, Brian, that's awful.

All your magical powers
must have gone with it.

I'm no more than a
shadow of me former self.

How can we help you, Brian?

Samantha!

Well, Darrin, he has
to find his pot of gold.

Samantha, no witchcraft!
You know how I feel about that.

Yes, dear, I know. But I
can't get it for him anyhow.

It's leprechaun gold.
It has a charm on it.

I can't move it.

Oh, I'll have to get it meself.

Now, the name of the party
is James Dennis Robinson,

and he lives somewhere
close by here.

Anyone that can
move an entire fireplace

from Ireland to America

must be a very wealthy man.

Brian, you must be
very tired from your trip.

That I am.

The time change has
me a little bewildered.

Why don't you go
up into the guest room

and make yourself comfortable?

Thank you.

I'll rest easy now,

knowing you're worrying
about me problem.

Goodnight, cousin.

Oh, my.

It is nice having one of your
relatives here for a change.

Samantha, he is
not related to me!

He's just a figment
of the imagination

of my Irish ancestors.

Maybe so.

But that figment just went
to bed with your bottle.

All right.

I just have time to
get a credit rating

on this nonexistent
pot-of-gold thief.

That's a good boy. Mm-hm.

Hello, Miss Spence.

This is Darrin Stephens
of McMann & Tate.

Would you see if
you have anything

on James Dennis Robinson?

Thank you very much.

I'll hang on.

Prepare yourself for the
death of a very picturesque lie.

Never hurts to ask.

Yes, Miss Spence.

Huh?

I see.

Is that so?

Well, that's very interesting.

May I please have
that address again?

Seven...

Thank you, Miss Spence.
Thank you very much.

Are you gonna tell me, or
do you want me to guess?

Well, all right.

It just so happens there is
a James Dennis Robinson,

and he owns Westchester
Consolidated Mills.

You've heard of the company?

They're a very large outfit

and they don't do
any advertising.

Every agency in town is
dying to get their account.

And he lives near here.

Right.

And he has a fireplace
with a pot of gold in it.

Credit agencies don't give
out that kind of information!

Well, when you go
to see him tomorrow,

take a look around for it.

I will.

It's an interesting coincidence,
your coming by to see me.

I have been considering
changing my policy

and doing some advertising.

Well, good.

But I'll tell you
something else.

I have no intention of giving
my account to McMann & Tate.

You're just not
big enough for me.

Size is no indication
of quality, Mr. Robinson.

You're right.

Being little doesn't
necessarily make you good.

That's what you meant, isn't it?

Mr. Robinson, all we want

is an opportunity to
show you what we've done

and what we think we
can accomplish for you.

Now, your first
advertising campaign

should have real importance.

Something different.

What's the matter
with you, young man?

Are you nervous, or are you
just afraid to look me in the eye?

Not at all, sir. I was just
admiring your fireplace.

Ah.

You've got good taste.

This fireplace
came from Ireland.

I got it in a little
cottage in County Cork.

Had it shipped over here.

This fireplace is over 200 years
old. That's all hand-hewn rock.

Oh, is that so?

Get your hands off of there!

That's the original
soot on there!

I don't want any
finger marks on it!

I'm sorry, Mr. Robinson.

I'm sorry, Stephens.

I didn't mean to be so sharp.

But this fireplace
is my pride and joy.

Yes, sir. To me, it's
worth its weight in gold.

Of course, just because
there's a fireplace,

doesn't mean there's
any pot of gold hidden in it.

Oh, it's there,
all right, all right.

The only pot of
gold I'm sure is there

is his advertising account.

It's gonna be a lot
tougher to get than yours.

Darrin, me boy, you
help me, I'll help you.

Do me a favor. Just
stick to leprechauning.

Tell me, now, you wouldn't
be having a little more

of this heart-warming elixir
about, would you, cousin?

If you'll stop calling me
cousin, I think I can find some.

Oh, that's a terrible
heavy price you're asking.

Oh, but I'll pay.

Brian, when do you
plan to go after your gold?

Well, now, there's a
lot of imponderables

I have to be pondering upon.

It'd be easy if I had me powers.

But it'd be asking
for trouble to go now.

Huh? When the moon is new.

Well, isn't it also dangerous
to go when the moon's full?

Not unless he's full too.

He's grand,
Samantha! Just grand.

I'm pleased and proud
to be able to call him my...

Um... my friend.

Hi, honey.

Oh, hi, sweetheart.

Hi. Mmm!

How's Tabitha?

Oh, just fine.
Sleeping like a baby.

Brian's been
entertaining her all day.

Told her about the time

that he was official
leprechaun to Queen Victoria.

Yeah, that's a real
sleeping pill, that story.

What's he doing now?

Fixing your brown shoes.

Fixing my shoes?

Yes, all leprechauns
are shoemakers

by trade or tradition.

He wanted to do
something nice for you.

Oh.

Darrin, me bucko!

I have a splendid
surprise for you.

Your shoes needed
fixing, and I fixed them.

Yes, you fixed them,
all right. Yes, indeed.

Wait till you put them on.

It'll be a new experience
in walking for you.

I'll fix up where I was working.

He fixed them.

I think I need a
tranquilizer or two.

That did it!

That little man has got to go.

Now, Darrin... No
arguments, Sam.

He's going tonight. Brian!

Anything you say,
me boy. You name it.

After a long discussion,

Samantha and I have
decided you're going...

after your pot of gold tonight.

Well, now, maybe it'd
be better tomorrow night.

Somehow I don't
have the courage.

I know! You drank it all up!

Well, I'll buy you
another bottle,

but you're going tonight.

Allow me to
introduce myself, sir.

Me name is Brian O'Brian.

To whom do I have
the honor of speaking?

Ohh!

Whoa!

I can't understand what
all the commotion is about.

I merely lost me way on
me way to a fancy dress ball.

Now, you can understand
how a thing like that

can happen to a man, can't you?

Of course.

So I took a shortcut
through your living room,

looking for a telephone.

I see.

Now, if you'll take
your big hands off me,

I'll be on me way.

Uh, what do you want me
to do with him, Mr. Robinson?

Lock him up.

You heard the man,
so come on, paddy.

Let's trot on down to
the pokey, shall we?

What's your name, officer?

They call me Michael
Francis Xavier Fogerty.

Well, now! You wouldn't
be Irish, would you?

No. Polish.

Of course I'm Irish!

Well, you must know, then,
from the manner of me dress,

what I am.

Well, now, don't tell
me. Let me guess.

You're a nut.

I am a leprechaun.

Oh, sure, sure.

And I'm the Wicked
old Witch of the West.

All right, now, in with you.

And don't give me any more
of that whimsy from the old sod.

Whimsy, is it?

Your mother was English!

Now, flattery will
get you no place.

Now, will you step in,
or shall I throw you in?

I'm entitled to
a telephone call.

All right, all right. But
do you have a lawyer?

In a manner of speaking, yes.

Okay. One call. Come on.

Hello?

Brian?

Where are you?

He's in jail.

He's in jail! He's in jail.

Which jail?

Oh, well, Brian, I
don't think, um...

Well, wait a minute.
Let me speak to Darrin.

Darling...

You wanna go down
and spring him, right?

He must be in
some kind of trouble.

It couldn't happen
to a nicer guy.

You don't want Brian
to stay in jail, do you?

Darrin?

Darrin!

I'm thinking.

Really!

Okay, go on down
and get him out.

But after that, absolutely
no more witchcraft.

All right, Brian. I'll
meet you in your cell.

Oh, yes. He is grand, isn't he?

Samantha! You look
beautiful, charming.

That's enough of that, Brian.

Now, I must remind you

that although you may
not be a working man,

my husband is, and
you're disturbing his sleep.

Is he angry with me, now?

I wouldn't have
that for the world.

Well, first we have
to get you out of here.

Then we have to decide
how to get you your gold.

Take my hand. Oh, just a moment.

I'd like to leave
an insulting note

for the black Irishman
that arrested me, you know?

I'm leaving, Brian. Now.

And I'm going with you.

Hey, nutsy, I brought
you some coffee!

Oh, I think I need a little nip.

Darrin, me boy, how nice
of you to wait up for me.

There's real friendship for you.

Here. I brought
you a cup of coffee.

You are a disgrace
to the O'Brians.

You've set the
cause of leprechauns

back a thousand years!

You're a bungler!

Don't you love him

when he's like that, Samantha?

Full of the O'Brian fire.

Me boy, I have the perfect
solution for your troubles.

Samantha here will take
me to the Robinson house.

I'll get me gold
from the fireplace,

and with me powers restored
to full and glorious strength,

I'll remove meself from
your kind hospitality.

Well?

The answer's no.

Oh, but, Darrin, it would
only take a moment or two.

No.

Think of the position we're in.

We have a hot
leprechaun on our hands.

What is it?

I'm wondering if there'll
be a reward out for him.

An O'Brian an informer?

Never!

Somebody always
has to be the first.

Goodbye, Brian. I've got
a long day ahead of me.

I'm going back to bed.

Darr... Goodbye, cousin.

I am sorry, Brian.

We did our best.

Oh, you're grand, both of you.

Just grand.

But I guess this will
be the end of me now.

I'm a stranger
in a strange land.

Oh, maybe it'll
work out somehow.

No.

Without me pot of gold,
I'm just another old man

you'd pass by in the street,

hat in hand, taking
pennies from passers-by.

Now, Brian...

Sick at heart, wearing a
brave but trembling smile.

Well, you know I
want to help you, but...

Dogs barking at me, little
children making a mock of me,

but bearing no
rancor in me heart

because you couldn't spare
me the five minutes' help

to have kept me from
the downward path.

Well, Brian, you see...

I'll be leaving you
now, Samantha.

Try and forget me.

Be as happy as you can.

I'll always think kindly of you.

Brian...

If you promise
never to tell Darrin,

I'll go with you.

You will?

Oh, bless you!

Shh! But let's go. I want to
get back as soon as I can.

Hang on!

There's the old fireplace.

Ahh! It's four to the left.
One, two, three, four...

And eight down.
One, two, three, four...

There's the monsters!

Splendid work!

Well, that's better.

Oh! Pardon me.

My goodness gracious!

Now, you two keep very
quiet and behave yourselves.

We're very busy.

Stay there.

You have a real touch.

Never mind the flattery.
Just find your pot of gold.

Right. One, two, three, four...

And out she comes!

Ah! Here she comes.

What's the matter?

Saints preserve us! It's gone!

Brian!

But it was here! I
know it was here!

Darrin's right.
You are a bungler!

But, Samantha!

You probably lost that the
same way you lost all the others.

No, I swear it was here
when the fireplace was moved.

It was me last pot, Samantha,

me security against me old age!

How dare you involve me
in this wild goose chase?

Uh!

Now, we are going back,
and you are going on your way.

No, I tell you it was right in
this hole behind the stone!

Good evening.

Is this what you're looking for?

That's it! It's me crock!

Let me correct you. It is
not your crock. It's me crock.

I don't know how
you got out of that jail,

but I do know how you're
going to get in again.

And this time you're going to
have some very pleasant company.

Mr. Robinson,

I know this may all seem
very strange to you, but...

Not at all.

Why, it happens every night.

You know, the police
are gonna get very tired

of my waking them up
in the middle of the night.

Um, Mr. Robinson,
Mr. O'Brian here is from Ireland.

And he had hidden
that pot in the fireplace

before you bought it.

You know, something tells me

I haven't heard
the real story yet.

Well, there's nothing
left for me to do

but to reveal myself
to this creature.

Sir...

you are looking at an
authentic Irish leprechaun.

A leprechaun!

I am the lovable
leprechaun of County Cork.

Well, I tried. He
doesn't believe us.

But, my dear sir, of
course I believe you.

You do?

Well, naturally.

I'm Irish too.

Robinson?

Where do you think the
Dennis in my name came from?

My sainted grandfather,
may his soul rest in peace,

was a Mahoney.

Ah, many's the
story he's told me

about meeting
leprechauns in his day.

I wouldn't dream
of keeping this now.

It's yours again.

Thank you. Thank you! Bless you!

Now, you see, Samantha,
I wasn't lying to you.

Oh, forgive me, Brian.

And this fair colleen?

Mr. Robinson, I'm
Mrs. Darrin Stephens.

You remember, he
was here talking to you

about your advertising.

Ah, yes. McMann & Tate.

Yes, yes.

You see, as a matter of fact,

his grandmother was
also from County Cork.

Ah! It's all very
clear to me now.

Those two Chihuahuas...

they wouldn't be my
dogs, now, would they?

Brian?

My pleasure.

Well done!

May I shake your hand, sir?

Certainly, sir.

Aha! I've got you!

Let go of me arm!

Ah, now I remember another story

my grandfather told
me about leprechauns.

If you catch one, he has
to grant you a wish, right?

Those are the rules.

Very well.

Now, my mills are putting out

a brand-new line of Irish linen.

For the first time,
I'm going to advertise.

And I want to use your
picture as the symbol,

as the trademark for my product.

Mr. Robinson!

Leprechauns never lend
themselves to commercial enterprises.

Never!

Well, he'll be well
paid for his services.

And I guarantee you

he'll make enough to fill up

more pots of gold than
he's ever seen before.

Well, now, your eloquence
has convinced me, sir.

Your wish is granted.

Thank you.

But I have a wish of me own.

Very well, Mr. O'Brian.

I want to have a sympathetic

and understanding
presentation of me image.

And who could be
more understanding

than me dear friend
Mr. Darrin Stephens?

Very well, Mr. O'Brian.

Your wish is granted too.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Robinson.

May I break the news to him?

Of course, my dear.

Mr. O'Brian, what is it?

Me throat's a bit dry
with all that talking.

Well, now, I've got
the liquid cure for that.

Isn't he grand, Samantha?

Aye, just grand.

Of course I'm angry!

I wake up and
you're not in your bed.

In fact, you're not
even in the house!

Darrin...

And then you come
back and tell me

that you went to
Robinson's house with Brian

after I told you not to!

It's just a lucky thing
you didn't get caught.

We did.

Mr. Robinson caught us there.

Oh, great, great, great,
great! That does it!

Well, if you'll just
let me explain...

No, no, no, no.

There is nothing, nothing
you could possibly say

that would make
me feel any different.

You deliberately went to that
house after I told you not to.

McMann & Tate have
the Robinson account.

And you're going to handle it.

Mr. Robinson is Irish. He was
delighted to see a leprechaun.

Brian has his pot of gold back,

and he got you the account.

Now... do you
feel any differently?

What can I say?

You can say you love me.

That's easy.