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1
00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:04,948
You can send me 2
pounds of onions...
2
00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:10,988
a pound of butter...
a head of lettuce...
3
00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:13,923
and 60 cans of wax beans.
4
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:16,693
Yes, that's right. Sixty cans.
5
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,483
Bye-bye.
6
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:25,168
They're having a
sale on wax beans.
7
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,269
I see.
8
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,471
You know, by buying 60 cans,
9
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:30,574
I save 3 cents a can.
10
00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:33,976
Wonderful. And it also takes
care of all your wax bean buying
11
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,012
for the next 15 or 16 years.
12
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,881
Are you making fun of me?
13
00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,549
Of course not!
14
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,551
You know, there's a lot
more to running a house
15
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:42,953
than most people think.
16
00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:45,221
Did you know that lemon
juice takes out ink stains?
17
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:46,355
No, I didn't.
18
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:47,791
See that?
19
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:50,427
Honey, I think it's wonderful
the way you've adjusted.
20
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,929
I bet there's not a witch in a
thousand who could do as well.
21
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:55,520
I love being a housewife.
22
00:00:57,291 --> 00:01:01,104
Are you sure you won't get
bored once the novelty's worn off?
23
00:01:01,128 --> 00:01:04,229
How could I be bored being
married to someone like you?
24
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,712
Lady, you've just talked
yourself into dinner for two
25
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,736
at the best restaurant in town.
26
00:01:11,871 --> 00:01:12,871
Hmm.
27
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,173
I'll see you tonight.
28
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,447
I'm Mrs. Darrin Stephens.
29
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,648
Has my husband arrived yet?
30
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,183
Not yet, Mrs. Stephens.
31
00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:22,607
Right this way, please.
32
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:27,023
Thank you.
33
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,357
You're welcome.
34
00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:29,926
Can I get you
something from the bar?
35
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,394
Oh, uh, no,
thank you. I'll wait.
36
00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:32,529
All right.
37
00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:35,164
Is there something I
can do for you, beautiful?
38
00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:36,799
Yes.
39
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,101
You can go away.
40
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,704
I dig blonds with class.
41
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:43,640
Now, why don't you and
I get to know each other
42
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,609
a little bit better, hm?
43
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,177
Please leave.
44
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,012
I'm expecting my
husband any moment,
45
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,613
and he has a very
violent temper.
46
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:52,281
Oh!
47
00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:53,850
Hi, honey.
48
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:55,185
This man been bothering you?
49
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:56,720
Oh, it's nothing.
50
00:02:56,744 --> 00:03:00,390
This little blond here tells me
that you're a very tough guy.
51
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,158
This little blond
happens to be my wife.
52
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,592
Darrin. And if you...
53
00:03:03,616 --> 00:03:07,618
Darrin, he's, uh...
Well, uh, let's leave.
54
00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:11,100
Darrin...
55
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:14,070
That's a pretty
name for a tough guy.
56
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:17,095
Now look, you. I don't... This.
57
00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:22,745
Does that hurt, Darrin, baby?
58
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,413
You let go of him!
59
00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:26,571
This is just for
openers, Darrin.
60
00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:29,686
Ooh!
61
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,910
Why, you...
62
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,559
Come on, Darrin, let's leave.
63
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:10,460
Oh, my stars.
64
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,629
Breakfast ready, honey?
65
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,564
Uh... no. No.
66
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,921
Just a minute, sweetheart.
67
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:40,990
Darrin?
68
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,447
Mm?
69
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:45,595
Are you still mad at me?
70
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,264
Honey, I'm not mad at you.
71
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,667
I'm... just disappointed.
72
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:53,002
Well, I was only trying to help.
73
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,303
I know, sweetheart.
74
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:55,572
And I appreciate it.
75
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,340
But you're not supposed to.
76
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:58,842
Why not?
77
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:01,444
When a man's wife is being
annoyed by a drunk in a bar,
78
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:02,645
the man is the one
79
00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:04,413
who's supposed to
do something about it.
80
00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:06,016
Well, you did, didn't you?
81
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,383
Oh, sure.
82
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:09,318
I took a wild
swing and I missed.
83
00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:12,009
You twitched your nose
and knocked him cold.
84
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:15,057
Oh.
85
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:16,392
Does it still hurt?
86
00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:17,927
Mm-mm.
87
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:20,363
Darling, I can't just
stand by and do nothing
88
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:22,131
when you're in trouble.
89
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,433
You would do the same for
me if you could, wouldn't you?
90
00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:26,491
Yeah, sure.
91
00:05:28,861 --> 00:05:31,140
Let's pretend the whole
thing never happened. Okay.
92
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,442
Let's just forget about it.
93
00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:33,742
Okay.
94
00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:36,246
Honey, where's
the morning paper?
95
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,671
Morning paper?
96
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:44,381
Oh, never mind. I see it.
97
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,350
Samantha!
98
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,990
Abner!
99
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,771
Look! Look! Look!
100
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:08,099
Something you wished to
call my attention to, Gladys?
101
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:11,770
Stephens.
102
00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:16,019
Oh?
103
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,554
They're fighting
with each other.
104
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,922
You saw it on your
private radar screen.
105
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,559
No! No!
106
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:27,697
He... He... He... He...
Mr. Stephens is gonna be
107
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,133
the next heavyweight champion.
108
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,801
That's wild, all right.
109
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,937
But it's not as wild
as some of the things
110
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,881
you've been dreaming
up about them.
111
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,374
Maybe you're getting better.
112
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,476
All right, Mr. Know-It-All!
113
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,901
Look. It's right
here in the paper.
114
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:53,456
Stephens, wait a minute.
115
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,558
May I have your autograph?
116
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,193
Mr. Kravitz, you're kidding.
117
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,894
You're a celebrity,
Mr. Stephens.
118
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:02,031
Sign right here, where it says,
“Next Heavyweight Champ”"
119
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,267
Me, living next door to the man
120
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:06,102
who knocked out
"Jolting" Joe Kovacks.
121
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,270
Can you imagine that?
122
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:09,071
Uh, no.
123
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,574
I'm sure glad I got your
autograph this morning...
124
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,118
while you can still
write your name.
125
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,546
What does that mean?
126
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,948
You didn't see Kovacks'
fight with "No Nose" Novotni?
127
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,150
No.
128
00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:22,318
Excuse me, Mr. Kravitz.
I have to get to the office.
129
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,919
Oh, sure.
130
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,389
Of course, they didn't start
calling Novotni "No Nose"
131
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,912
until after the fight.
132
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,202
Hi, Johnny.
133
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,502
Good morning, Mr. Stephens.
134
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:41,704
Are you okay?
135
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:43,239
Sure. Shouldn't I be?
136
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:45,341
After the
Tomson-Kovacks rematch,
137
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:48,410
Tomson had both shoulders
in a cast for three months.
138
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:49,712
And he was lucky.
139
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:51,013
Lucky?
140
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:53,237
Yeah. It was a glancing blow.
141
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,619
The next time you
run into Kovacks...
142
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,687
Yeah.
143
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,911
Be in your car.
144
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:10,033
Mr. Stephens... Not
right now, Barbara.
145
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,489
And I don't want
to be disturbed.
146
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,174
Okay.
147
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:22,078
Okay... but you'll
get the chair for this.
148
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,579
Easy, Mac.
149
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,781
Stupid, here, just
come to apologize.
150
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,449
Yeah.
151
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:29,852
Apologize?
152
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:34,056
Well, he... certainly
should apologize.
153
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,159
Annoying my wife and
assaulting me, and...
154
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,629
Look, pal... I had
a couple of shots,
155
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,163
and, well, I ain't used to it.
156
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,899
Like, most of the
time, I'm in training.
157
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:44,434
See what I mean?
158
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,135
Now, about that
assault bit, sport.
159
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,438
We got some
witnesses and a picture.
160
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:50,773
Now, this picture
shows my tiger out cold
161
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,142
and you standing over him.
162
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,712
I still say I never saw
the punch he hit me with.
163
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,280
Yeah, the whole thing was magic.
164
00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:59,014
Like, he did it with mirrors.
165
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,650
Well, as a matter of fact...
166
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,551
Now, let's get down
to business, right?
167
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:05,588
Now, I figure you and Joe
meet at Dundee's Bar again,
168
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:08,257
and he apologizes
to you in public.
169
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:10,159
Oh, that won't be... Shut up!
170
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,795
Now, the sooner, the
better, is what I say.
171
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,797
So, we'll make it
at lunchtime today.
172
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:17,299
Now, I'll fix it so there
will be plenty of reporters
173
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:18,868
and camera guys around.
174
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,002
You dig?
175
00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:21,403
No.
176
00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:23,673
Don't you know what
that lucky punch of yours
177
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:25,107
last night cost us?
178
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:28,210
A million bucks.
Maybe 2 million.
179
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,112
You knocked us
right out of a title fight.
180
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:31,814
I did? Why?
181
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,515
Because who's
gonna pay to see it?
182
00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:35,684
I mean, me. Fight
Tommy Carter, the champ,
183
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:37,987
after I've been KO'd by
a square named Darrin.
184
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,957
I got a good mind... Shut up!
185
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:43,392
So at Dundee's place,
Joe is gonna apologize,
186
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,160
like the clean-cut fella he is.
187
00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:47,463
Only you ain't gonna
accept his apology.
188
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:49,031
Sure I will.
189
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:50,867
I'm a good sport. Ask anybody.
190
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:54,136
No, Darrin. You're
a lousy sport.
191
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,606
You're gonna refuse
to shake hands with him.
192
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,708
One thing is gonna
lead to another,
193
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,677
you're gonna throw a
couple of punches at him,
194
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,278
and Joe is gonna lay you out.
195
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,780
Joe is gonna pull
his punch, natch.
196
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:04,804
Natch.
197
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,984
He's just gonna graze
you. And you go down.
198
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:10,586
And you stay down.
199
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:14,646
Are you suggesting
that I take a dive?
200
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,162
I won't do it.
201
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:21,786
It's un-American!
202
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:25,167
So if Joe busts
your jaw for real...
203
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,268
you're a patriot?
204
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,270
Can I kind of lean on
him a little right now?
205
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,772
Not now.
206
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,129
Later, maybe.
207
00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:33,976
Darrin...
208
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,068
I don't think you're in
no position to dicker.
209
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,349
May I think about it?
210
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,152
Why not? Take your time.
211
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,975
Take about 10 seconds.
212
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:54,363
Yoo-hoo!
213
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:55,931
Yoo-hoo!
214
00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:58,333
I'm up here in the
nursery, Mrs. Kravitz!
215
00:10:58,357 --> 00:10:59,857
Okay.
216
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,938
Hello there, Mrs. Stephens.
217
00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:03,939
Hi!
218
00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:05,207
What are you doing?
219
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:06,864
It's a pony for Tabatha.
220
00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:11,613
Isn't she a little
too young to ride?
221
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,559
Abner says that if he
were Mr. Stephens,
222
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:24,727
he'd be hiding out.
223
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:26,095
Oh, come on.
224
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:28,564
I'm just telling you
what Abner said.
225
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:31,333
He says Kovacks is
gonna catch up with him
226
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,957
and give it to him good.
227
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,807
Uh, hello. This
is Mrs. Stephens.
228
00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,742
Is my husband there?
229
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:41,143
Oh?
230
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:43,935
Did anything unusual happen?
231
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:48,284
Did you say Dundee's?
232
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:52,422
No, no. No. No
message. Thank you.
233
00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:54,524
They're meeting for lunch.
234
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,726
It's an ambush!
You've got to warn him.
235
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,394
I'll tell you.
236
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,797
I'll baby-sit and
you go. We... Go!
237
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,331
All right.
238
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,834
Tabatha's been fed, and I'm
sure you'll have no problem.
239
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:07,298
Oh, problems.
It'll be a pleasure.
240
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:12,141
Oh, Mrs. Stephens. Aren't you
gonna change before you go out?
241
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,310
Oh. Of course.
242
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,701
What could I have
been thinking of?
243
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:27,044
Goodbye.
244
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:46,642
Hey! Hey! Ain't you,
uh, what's-his-name?
245
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:49,311
The guy that
creamed Joe Kovacks?
246
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:51,013
You're confusing me
with someone else.
247
00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:52,315
Excuse me.
248
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,283
You're him. You're
the guy, all right.
249
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:57,620
Well, you don't
look so tough to me.
250
00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:58,820
Put 'em up.
251
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,945
Come on. Put 'em up.
252
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:04,149
Come on.
253
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:10,065
Hey, come on! Fight!
254
00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:12,156
You, I know I can lick.
255
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:16,171
And I don't want no mistakes.
256
00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:18,329
Okay. All right.
257
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:26,270
Well... I owe you an apology.
258
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:29,885
Oh yeah?
259
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:31,976
No hard feelings?
260
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,379
Get lost.
261
00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:38,493
Give me a double martini.
262
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:40,429
Look, friend.
263
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,999
I'm trying to be a nice guy.
264
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:46,090
Beat it, before I
flatten you again.
265
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:53,203
Now, friend...
Don't call me friend.
266
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:56,601
You... You louse!
267
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:11,593
All right, put 'em up.
268
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:19,101
Samantha.
269
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:21,893
Samantha! Samantha!
270
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:25,462
Samantha!
271
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,584
Sam, you're supposed
to be my wife,
272
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,286
not my bodyguard.
273
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:38,987
Darrin, how was I
supposed to know
274
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:40,289
the whole thing was a fake?
275
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,924
What was I supposed to do?
276
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:44,493
Let him hit me.
277
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,462
Oh, you mean, just stand
around and look happy
278
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:47,930
while he puts you
in the hospital?
279
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:48,997
Yes!
280
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:52,001
Well, I-I-I don't mean that.
281
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:54,391
He wasn't really
going to hit me.
282
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:56,738
You sure?
283
00:14:56,762 --> 00:14:58,107
I'm pretty sure.
284
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:01,277
I'm sorry. I really did
mess things up, didn't I?
285
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,078
I'll figure some
way out of this.
286
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:04,747
But you've gotta
promise me one thing.
287
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:05,748
Anything you say.
288
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,683
Don't do it again.
289
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,351
I mean, if you see
me squaring off
290
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:11,954
with a locomotive...
don't twitch.
291
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:14,189
Go read a book or
something. Understand?
292
00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:15,824
Yes, sir.
293
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:18,026
In the future, let me
fight my own battles.
294
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:20,195
Okay. Okay, I promise.
295
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:21,385
Okay.
296
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,802
Abner!
297
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:29,338
Hey, Abner!
298
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:33,008
Abner, put that flute down,
and come and help me.
299
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,610
Help you what?
300
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:37,580
Help me put this box
over there on the sofa.
301
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,581
Mmm.
302
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:39,582
You got it?
303
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,816
Yeah.
304
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,808
What have you got in here,
some of your icebox cookies?
305
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,556
I'll tell you in a minute.
306
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,025
Abner. Abner, he did it again.
307
00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:51,627
Who did what?
308
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:53,061
Mr. Stephens.
309
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:55,097
I just heard it
on the car radio.
310
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:58,300
That boxer got snippy
again, so Mr. Stephens hit him.
311
00:15:58,324 --> 00:15:59,735
Where?
312
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:01,136
In the bar.
313
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,872
It took three seconds
to knock him out cold.
314
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:06,397
Ah, the fight game
isn't what it used to be.
315
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:10,579
Abner... uh, what would you do
316
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:13,315
if someone made a
pass at me in a bar?
317
00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:14,483
I'd faint.
318
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,251
Oh, I'm serious.
319
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:19,488
Now, supposing a man tried
to kiss me, what would you do?
320
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:22,824
Put a dime in his tin cup,
pat his Seeing Eye dog
321
00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:24,026
and go home.
322
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:27,429
Now... what's in the box?
323
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:29,865
Something for that
stomach of yours.
324
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,734
They have a sale of bicarbonate?
325
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,869
You're out of shape, Abner.
326
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:36,037
I was born that way.
327
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:40,142
Well, anyway, I decided
that the one thing you needed
328
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,311
in your life was a dumbbell.
329
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,146
So you married me.
330
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,548
Funny. Very funny.
331
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:49,017
Put that flute down.
332
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:52,521
Doesn't it bother you
that every time I go out,
333
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:57,459
I am fair game for any
playboy that has a roving eye?
334
00:16:57,483 --> 00:17:00,696
Gladys, if Richard Burton
can live with it, so can I!
335
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,498
That's not a good enough answer.
336
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,769
It's my responsibility to
keep you healthy and fit.
337
00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:09,271
I don't want to
be healthy and fit.
338
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:14,109
I paid good money
for this dumbbell,
339
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:16,979
and you're gonna
be healthy and fit
340
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,748
if it kills you.
341
00:17:18,772 --> 00:17:19,904
Huh?
342
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,240
Hi, Darrin.
343
00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:29,491
Would you mind explaining this?
344
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:32,327
Uh, that's the
morning newspaper.
345
00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:34,529
I know it's the
morning newspaper.
346
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,965
What I want explained is...
347
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,767
You mean there's more?
348
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:41,837
Possibly in the
afternoon newspaper.
349
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:42,938
Possibly?
350
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:44,507
Probably.
351
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:47,409
I went to lunch at Dundee's
today, and I met Kovacks again.
352
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,779
And he dumped you right
on the seat of your pants
353
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,914
in front of a whole
roomful of people.
354
00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:54,750
Not exactly.
355
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:57,019
Oh. You mean there weren't
a lot of people around?
356
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:58,520
The bar was jammed.
357
00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:00,322
There were reporters
and photographers.
358
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:01,490
They took a lot of pictures.
359
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:02,758
Of what?
360
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,916
Of me dumping Kovacks
on the seat of his pants.
361
00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:10,020
You don't believe me.
362
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:13,791
Frankly, no.
363
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:18,273
Darrin... remember when
we used to skip lunch
364
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:20,776
and work out together in the
gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays?
365
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,544
Yeah. You were on a health kick.
366
00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:24,146
You developed a potbelly, and...
367
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:25,447
Never mind about my potbelly.
368
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:27,148
The point is, we used
to put on the gloves
369
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,451
and spar with each other
every now and then, remember?
370
00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:31,020
Sure I remember, Larry.
371
00:18:31,044 --> 00:18:32,888
We used to kid around
a lot in those days.
372
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,623
Well, I had the
impression, then,
373
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,825
that I could take you
anytime I wanted to,
374
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,769
if we ever tried
to mix seriously.
375
00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:44,833
Oh, sure you could, Larry.
376
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:47,302
Well, there's a clause in
my contract where it says
377
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:49,738
I am not allowed to
beat up on my boss
378
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,172
on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
379
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:55,071
Fact is, I still think
I can take you.
380
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:59,514
Talk about a case of
arrested development!
381
00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:01,618
Where are you going, chicken?
382
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:04,887
To a saloon.
383
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:07,422
You meet a much more
intelligent class of people in bars
384
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:09,406
than you do in
advertising agencies!
385
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,185
Potbelly!
386
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,537
Thanks, Harry.
387
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,912
Ah-ha!
388
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,435
We meet again.
389
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,617
Darrin Stephens, right?
390
00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:38,053
No. I just look like him.
391
00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:40,455
Actually, I'm Elroy Aspinwall,
392
00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:43,559
the well-known
professional fly-caster.
393
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,929
Look, you can't
keep running forever.
394
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,732
Why don't you and
me just step outside,
395
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:52,734
and we'll see how
tough you really are.
396
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:53,968
Okay.
397
00:19:53,992 --> 00:19:55,370
Why don't you go
out the back way.
398
00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:56,505
Wait in the alley.
399
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,295
I'll be along as soon
as I finish my drink.
400
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,119
Oh! I beg your pardon.
401
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:12,120
That's okay.
402
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,255
Hey.
403
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:15,724
Aren't you the guy
that KO'd Kovacks?
404
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:18,727
Look, I just came in
for a nice, quiet drink.
405
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,796
I've been wanting to meet you.
406
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:23,065
You really creamed him, huh?
407
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:25,334
That thing with Kovacks
was an accident.
408
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,569
An accident. Twice.
409
00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:29,438
Yes, twice. Now,
if you don't mind...
410
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:30,961
Not so fast.
411
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:33,942
You know, I don't get it.
412
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:36,244
You don't look as if you could
knock out my grandmother.
413
00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:39,581
Well, let's just say I
was lucky, and forget it.
414
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:41,150
I guess those
stories about Kovacks
415
00:20:41,174 --> 00:20:42,684
having a glass
jaw are true, huh?
416
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:44,519
Yeah, that's right. A glass jaw.
417
00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:48,590
Now, do you mind if I sit
down and finish my drink?
418
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:49,692
Sure.
419
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:51,593
Right after I've tried
a little experiment.
420
00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:52,594
Experiment?
421
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:53,828
Experiment.
422
00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:56,698
I'm the prettiest and
I've got an iron jaw.
423
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:57,999
So bust me one.
424
00:20:58,023 --> 00:20:59,634
What?
425
00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:02,103
I mean it. Give me
your Sunday punch.
426
00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:04,573
I'll bet you can't
even make me blink.
427
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,208
Well, go on.
428
00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:08,243
Give it your best,
put it to the test,
429
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,267
and I'll put you to rest.
430
00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,351
Now, look.
431
00:21:19,878 --> 00:21:22,257
You laid him right out!
432
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,259
It was an accident.
433
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,461
Do you know who that is?
434
00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:27,028
No. And frankly, I don't care.
435
00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:29,198
As long as he's not
another contender.
436
00:21:29,222 --> 00:21:31,433
Well, that's no contender.
437
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:32,990
That's Tommy Carter. The champ!
438
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,371
Sam.
439
00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:37,940
Sam!
440
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,040
Sam, where are you?
441
00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:41,310
Sam, where are you?
442
00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:44,246
W-who are you calling for?
443
00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:48,072
She changed herself
into someone else, so...
444
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:51,055
You!
445
00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:54,923
You're Sam.
446
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:57,426
That's right.
447
00:21:57,450 --> 00:22:00,529
Sam, what did you do with Harry?
448
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:02,331
Harry?
449
00:22:02,355 --> 00:22:03,399
Harry went home.
450
00:22:03,423 --> 00:22:05,367
Sam, I've just about had it.
451
00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:06,835
Now, I'm warning you.
452
00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:08,603
When we were married,
453
00:22:08,627 --> 00:22:10,906
didn't you promise to
love, honor and obey?
454
00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:12,541
Me?
455
00:22:15,033 --> 00:22:18,413
Do you want to be
my wife, or don't you?
456
00:22:18,437 --> 00:22:21,316
Anything you say, mister.
457
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:23,751
Only, wouldn't you be
just as happy, if instead,
458
00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:26,844
we... got to be
very good friends?
459
00:22:35,621 --> 00:22:38,433
Here we go again.
460
00:22:38,457 --> 00:22:41,436
I'm making the front page
more often than the astronauts.
461
00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:42,571
There you are, darling.
462
00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:44,573
I swear to you,
463
00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:46,875
I came straight home
after I left your office,
464
00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:48,944
and I haven't been
out of the house since.
465
00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:50,179
Then you kept your promise.
466
00:22:50,203 --> 00:22:51,346
Mm-hm.
467
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:52,947
I should have known you would.
468
00:22:52,971 --> 00:22:54,783
You've got to promise
me that you'll stop
469
00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:56,918
getting in fights with
world champions.
470
00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:59,788
Honey, I didn't fight
him. I fell on him.
471
00:22:59,812 --> 00:23:01,824
My feet got all tangled up.
472
00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:03,926
A likely story, tiger.
473
00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:05,760
I will promise you one thing.
474
00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:06,795
Hm?
475
00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:08,163
That was my last bout.
476
00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:10,932
Then you're gonna retire,
undefeated, as champion?
477
00:23:10,956 --> 00:23:13,023
Depend on it.
478
00:23:15,194 --> 00:23:17,261
I'll drink to that.
479
00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:27,115
Hi.
480
00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:28,783
I should have known
it would be you.
481
00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:30,952
Darrin, I didn't come
here to exchange insults.
482
00:23:30,976 --> 00:23:33,222
You just want me to knock
the chip off your shoulder.
483
00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:35,624
Hi, Sam.
484
00:23:35,648 --> 00:23:37,392
He's all over the papers again.
485
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,160
Tommy Carter
came up to the office
486
00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:40,229
looking for you, champ.
487
00:23:40,253 --> 00:23:41,296
Oh, no.
488
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:42,297
It's all right.
489
00:23:42,321 --> 00:23:43,698
I straightened out everything.
490
00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:45,134
You did?
491
00:23:45,158 --> 00:23:46,702
You did?
492
00:23:46,726 --> 00:23:49,137
Larry, you're a good man.
493
00:23:49,161 --> 00:23:51,473
The fact is, he's
now working for us.
494
00:23:51,497 --> 00:23:53,007
For the agency?
495
00:23:53,031 --> 00:23:54,542
Well, not exactly.
496
00:23:54,566 --> 00:23:56,878
But he's agreed to appear
at the Advertising Club's
497
00:23:56,902 --> 00:23:58,880
annual Charity Ball.
498
00:23:58,904 --> 00:24:00,783
How about that, huh?
499
00:24:00,807 --> 00:24:03,084
Larry, I've said it once,
and I'll say it again.
500
00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:05,253
You are the greatest
salesman in the world.
501
00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:07,189
Ah, what's he gonna
do? Say a few words?
502
00:24:07,213 --> 00:24:08,857
Oh, better than that.
503
00:24:08,881 --> 00:24:13,061
He's gonna box four rounds...
with an opponent of his choice.
504
00:24:13,085 --> 00:24:16,220
With an opponent of his choice?
505
00:24:17,256 --> 00:24:19,534
Larry... you didn't.
506
00:24:19,558 --> 00:24:21,903
It was the only way I
could get him, Sam.
507
00:24:21,927 --> 00:24:23,905
Oh, great.
508
00:24:23,929 --> 00:24:25,707
Don't worry, darling.
509
00:24:25,731 --> 00:24:27,476
Everything's gonna be all right.
510
00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:28,677
It will?
511
00:24:28,701 --> 00:24:30,345
Sure.
512
00:24:30,369 --> 00:24:32,214
I'll be in your corner.
513
00:24:32,238 --> 00:24:34,158
Together, we'll be unbeatable.
34681
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