All language subtitles for 20 - Your Witch is Showing

Morning, sweetheart. Hello.

Just toast today. I
got another rough one.

Things are really
jumping down at the office.

Has the mail come yet?

Well, I haven't...
Yes, it's here.

Mother?

Did you say something, honey?

No, no, sweetheart.
Just mumbling.

Darrin! Hmm?

My cousin Mario's
getting married!

He's living in Egypt.

It's going to be a big wedding.

That's nice.

His fiancée wants me
to be matron of honor!

Matron of honor at
a wedding in Egypt?

The weather in Cairo is
marvelous this time of year.

I might have known.

Samantha, Mario's
fiancée is simply beautiful,

socially prominent,
one of us, of course.

Wonderful. Well, you be
sure to give them our best,

because Samantha won't be there.

That is ridiculous!
Of course she will!

No, Mother.

Darrin can't get away right now,

and I'm not going
anywhere without him.

You can't mean that.

She certainly can and does.

If she goes anywhere at all

it will be with me,
the old-fashioned way.

You really mean to
set yourself against me?

Well, I prefer to call it

exercising my
prerogative as a husband.

I'll send a note of
regret this afternoon.

That won't be necessary.
I'll take the message myself.

Oh, yes. Speaking of messages.

I have one for you, young man.

Yes?

You're in trouble.

Well, just fix it,
huh? Just fix it!

All right.

Hello?

Well, tell him I'm sorry.
I just haven't had time.

Morning, Darrin.

Good morning, Larry.

What time is Woolfe?

Oh... Oh, for Pete's sake. Yes!

You're darn tootin'
I objected, Carson!

That girl looked
like Sophia Loren.

She's supposed to be
16 years old. All right.

Every advertising
executive in the country

is trying to land
the Woolfe Bros.

Department store account,

and I'm supposed to get it

with sketches that look like

they came out of
a girlie magazine.

Now, boy, relax.

Uncle Larry has the
answer to all your problems.

Another head.

Very funny.

But I was referring, as you
well know, to an assistant.

Come on, Larry. I've told you.

I just don't have time
to train another man.

Delegate authority,
Darrin. That's the secret.

Look, do yourself a favor.

There's a bright young
boy named Gideon Whitsett

down in the
copywriting department.

Give him a chance to help you.

Okay, Larry, okay. Send him up.

Fine.

Hoping to be of
further service...

Come in.

I remain, et cetera, et cetera.

Mr. Stephens, I'm
Gideon Whitsett.

I just wanted to tell you

how much this
opportunity means to me.

We're glad to have you aboard.

That's very kind, sir.

You can drop the "sir."

I'm not that much
older than you.

Oh, well, that's true,
sir. I mean, Mr. Stephens.

It just seems that way because
you've already accomplished

everything I've ever dreamed of.

Uh-huh.

We have a meeting
with Mr. Woolfe.

I'm sorry I won't
be able to brief you,

but just keep your eye
on me, and play it by ear.

Sir, would it be
all right with you

if I took a few notes
while you're talking?

I've got an awful lot to learn,

and you're the man I
want to learn it from.

Oh, sure. Fine.

Mr. Woolfe, this is
our Mr. Stephens.

Oh, so you're the
bright young man

I've been hearing so much about.

No, no, Mr. Woolfe.
This is our Mr. Stephens.

Oh. How do you do, sir?

And this is Stephens'
assistant, Gideon Whitsett.

Oh, ashtray, sir?

Oh, thank you, Whitsett.

Harvard or Yale?

I believe you've got
me spotted already, sir.

I knew it.

I know a Yale man when I
see one. Best of the breed.

Brackity yax, co-ax, co-ax!
Brackity yax, co-ax, co-ax!

Wahoo, wahoo!

Team, team, team!

Those were the golden days.

Yes, indeed.

Mr. Woolfe, why
don't you sit over here?

I'm sure you'll be
more comfortable.

Thank you.

As I was saying, Mr. Woolfe,

we feel that
Stephens here... Who?

Stephens. Missouri
U. Class of '50.

Now, what I'd like to
emphasize in this campaign

are three major areas...

Sir, would you like
to take a few notes?

Oh, thank you.

The teenage ready-to-wear market

and competing with
the discount companies

in the appliance sales.

Fine material. I
like your tailor.

Worked for our family for years.

Oh, really?

Appliance sales.

And updating our
approach to home tailoring.

Uh, home furnishing.

You'll give me his
name, of course?

Now, concentrating on
the first major market,

I'd like to...

I'd start with the...

I seem to have the hiccups.

Darrin. Oh, thanks, Larry.

I would, uh, like to
call your attention to

the young lady standing
in the foreground,

young gentleman in the rear,
and the caption might read,

"He'd like to hold your..."

"He'd like to hold your..."

They're bad.

Uh, if you'll allow me.

"He'd like to hold your hand

"when you're wearing
your discotheque dress

from Woolfe Bros."

I don't know.

Can't it be phrased in
good old-fashioned English?

Oh, yes, sir, I think it could.

Oh, no, it couldn't!

The teenagers of
today are very keen on...

Why don't we just
call it a party dress?

Now you're talking.

No, he's not.

Plain and simple.
That's what I like.

You know, Tate, this
boy's got a lot on the ball.

Well, thank you, Mr. Woolfe.

Well, Gideon, you and
Stephens make a fine team.

Right, Darrin?

It's been a great day.

I'm certainly looking forward
to our cocktail meeting

this evening with Mr. Woolfe.

I bet.

You know, Whitsett,

I was looking over
your personnel file.

You never went to Yale.

Why, no, sir. I
never said I did.

You gave every
impression you did.

Oops.

I-I forgot my briefcase.

Why don't you go ahead,
and I'll meet you there.

Your elevator is
temporarily stalled.

Find the red button marked
"emergency" and press.

Why today? Why?

If the elevator does
not start immediately...

This is the moment
of truth. I will not panic.

Help! Let me out of here!

Let me out of here! Help!

Find the red button
marked "emergency" and...

Mr. Tate, this is
Gideon Whitsett.

I think Mr. Stephens has
been held up somewhere.

You mean he kept
Mr. Woolfe waiting?

I'm afraid so, sir,

but I stepped into the
breach, so to speak.

I took the liberty
of covering for him.

Good for you. How did it go?

Brilliantly, if I
may say so, sir.

I feel quite confident
that Mr. Woolfe's

going to sign with our agency.

Providing, of course, I give
him the name of my tailor.

Mr. Woolfe seems to
think the world of me, sir.

I don't know why.

I do. You're a very capable
young man. Valuable too.

Well, thank you, Mr. Tate.
That means a great deal to me.

Goodbye now, sir.

Goodbye.

Honey, I'm telling you,

from the minute that
guy walked into the office,

it's been one
disaster after another.

Oh, I know, sweetheart.
It's like he jinxed me.

I've never been stuck in
an elevator in my whole life.

That's a terrible experience.

Mother did that to me
once... Say that again.

What? Your mother...?

Oh, no. Now, you
can't blame this on her.

That happens
accidentally sometimes too.

Yeah, I suppose it does.

To normal people with
normal mothers-in-law.

Dar...

You're late.

I ran out of gas.
Can you believe that?

I know. But I filled
the tank yesterday.

Oh, there you are.

I apologize, gentlemen.

I'm not usually late, but
things keep happening.

Never mind, Darrin. Whitsett's
been showing the layouts.

Layouts? But I left
the layouts at home.

That's why I had to go back,

and when I went, I
ran out of gas, and...

It's all right, Darrin.

Clever, very clever.
I like your ideas, boy.

Of course, we'll have to
make a few little changes.

Anything you say, sir.

Good afternoon, uh... Stephens.

I'd like to explain!

Don't make waves.

Waves?

Why, that thieving, no-good...

Larry, I was up all
night coming up with this.

This is my exact layout!

Which you left at home.

Which I left at
home. Therefore, he...

Then how could
it...? How did he...?

Black magic, maybe?

Would you believe
me if I said yes?

Darrin, you're tired.
You need a rest.

You've been working too hard.

I want you to take
the next few days off.

And don't worry.

Gideon has everything
under control.

Yes. And so does Endora.

Endora?

Endora? Come out.
I wanna talk to you.

Endora?

I know you're here somewhere.

Whoo-hoo? Endora?

Darrin?

Darrin, how come
you're home so early?

Mother, dear. Come out.

Come out, wherever you are.

Darrin, she's not here. Not now.

Oh, yes, she is.
She's right here.

She's going to
make good her threat.

She's going to
replace me in my job.

Oh, Darrin, you're wrong.

She's had nothing
to do with all of this.

And it won't stop
with just him, either.

Before you know it, the
entire agency will be witches.

Then the building.
Then the street.

Today, Madison Avenue.

Tomorrow, the world.

I know it looks suspicious,

but try to keep an open
mind, for your own sake.

Ah! Now, wait a minute.

Can you honestly assume

that just because a young
man comes into the office

who happens to be
clever and efficient...?

Efficient? He's a tarantula.

Well, I don't care if he's
the Marquis de Sade.

Just because you've
had some bad luck

does not necessarily
mean he is a witch.

Not witch, Samantha, warlock.

A term with which you and
your relations should be familiar,

like dear old cousin Mario.

Darrin, this is dangerous. Do
you know what's happening?

Funny.

Napoleon was asked the same
question just before Waterloo.

The way you're talking,

everything bad that happens
to you now is witchcraft, right?

You bet your sweet broomstick!
Just consider the evidence.

Sudden paralyzing inefficiency,

being stuck in
elevators, hiccup attacks,

running out of gas.

With evidence like that,
you should've been at Salem.

Searching for straws, am I?

Well then, how do
you explain the fact

that these layouts
right here on the table

young Whitsett had
at the office today?

Simple. You
discussed it with him.

It could never happen.

I only came up with
the idea last night.

I drew it and left it
here on the table.

And yet he had it
in the office today.

Now, how'd he do that? Huh?
How'd he do it, huh? How?

Darrin Stephens,
you stop yelling at me.

It's a simple case of...

Witchcraft?

Poor, poor Denton.

Uh, Darrin.

For the first time, I
actually feel sorry for you.

So you were here.

As it happens, I just got back.

Oh, it was a beautiful wedding.

I suppose I got
overly sentimental.

I mean, Duncan... Darrin.

Oh, yes. Derwin, you may be
second-rate, but you are family.

What are you talking about?

You are in trouble, aren't you?

Yes.

Well, the only way to break
a spell is with another spell.

Do you mean you're
going to give me something

so I can play on his
side of the court and win?

As I said before,
you are family.

Well, that's great!

Or is it?

How do I know I can trust you?

Suit yourself.

But I'm the only
game in town, aren't I?

Darrin, I hope you
know what you're doing.

I don't think this is the time
to make this presentation.

Personally,
Mr. Tate, I was hoping

we'd spend a little more
time talking together

before we met Harrison's...

Mr. Woolfe's board of directors.

After you, gentlemen.

Gentlemen, our slogan
for the all-important

home furnishing division is...

"Live..."

"Live...

"Live with tomorrow today

The Woolfe Bros. Time plan way."

Now, our statistics
show that over...

Over...

Seems to be stuck.

Allow me.

That over 38% of all
home furnishing sales

are made on the
time payment plan.

Now, our recommendation
is that such a plan

be inaugurated by Woolfe Bros.

And that that plan be
called... Easy way...

Gentlemen, if you'll
just bear with us,

we seem to be having a
few technical difficulties.

Are you all right?

You actually gave
him something to use?

You tricked him?

Yes, darling, but it
wasn't real magic.

I only did it to give
him self-confidence.

It was only baking soda,
ammonia and garlic salt.

In an atomizer. Huh?

Here you see the
home of tomorrow,

as furnished by Woolfe Bros.

Mr. Whitsett.

It's our recommendation
that this scale be built

and used as a mobile
promotional unit.

Designed to arrest the
attention of potential purchasers,

to be shown at decorator's...
home shows, uh...

Say, that thing's got a short.

Mr. Stephens, it's on fire!

Fire! Fire!

Hold it! Don't panic, men!

Mr. Stephens, do something!

You bet your life I will!

Something I should
have done a long time ago!

Take that! And that!

Everybody, look
out! Look out, Darrin.

And that!

How do you feel, sweetheart?

Fine. Just great.

That's good. Um, Darrin?

Where's your briefcase?

Down in the den. Why?

Larry phoned.

Gideon's coming over to
pick up the Woolfe Bros. file.

That's it, huh?

Just turn in your stripes
and your Woolfe Bros. file

just like that, huh?

Afraid so.

Well, who cares? Go
ahead, give it to him.

Maybe you can exchange
a few witch recipes

while you're at it, huh?

Oh, now.

Maybe.

Huh?

Oh, nothing, darling.

That'll be him.
I'll see you later.

Hello, Mrs. Stephens.

Mr. Whitsett, isn't it?

Yes, indeed it is.

I hope I haven't come
at an inconvenient time.

I just stopped by to pick
up the Woolfe Bros. material.

Yes. It's in the den.
Won't you come in?

Yeah.

Oh, you have a very lovely
place here, Mrs. Stephens.

Happy home, happy marriage.

You can certainly
tell when two people

are suited to one another.

Thank you.

I'm terribly concerned
about Mr. Stephens.

Is he feeling better?
Not much, I'm afraid.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
He's such a wonderful man.

He's my idol.

But I suppose he's already
told you how I feel about him.

Oh, yes, he has.

Well, Mrs. Stephens,

I'm really terribly
grateful to Mr. Stephens.

He's the one who gave me
my first really big opportunity.

You certainly took
advantage, didn't you?

Well, I just hope I can measure
up to the standards he's set.

Mr. Whitsett, how do you manage
to be so charming all day long?

It must be exhausting.

Oh, no, no, not at all.
I like to please people.

You know what they say.
Catch more flies with honey.

You're just too good to be true.

I wouldn't say that. I would!

I wish I had the power to
see you as you really are.

If wishes were horses,
beggars would ride.

You gotta step on people
to get where you're going.

You gotta push and shove!

I guess so. I know so!

I'm not afraid to
swing my machete

and lop off a few heads.

That's very courageous.

Most people probably don't
know how hard you work

to really get what you want.

You think I'm
underrated? I'm sure of it.

Have you always been like this?

When I was six years old, I
had 10 kids on paper routes,

and they turned all
the profits over to me.

Remarkable!

By the time I was in
college, I was so rich

I hired a flunky to
pass my exams for me

while I concentrated on some
of the more important things.

I was out there
promoting every second.

I'll bet you were.

Cigarette? Oh, thank you.

Oh, go ahead. It's just
the two of us. Be yourself.

Hmm?

Light the cigarette our way.

"Our way?" I don't get you.

The table lighter doesn't work.

Oh, well, have you got a light?

Certainly!

Ooh! What is it with
you people and fire?

Oh, I am sorry, but
accidents will happen.

Now, you do all these
wonderful things yourself?

Oh, you said it, baby.

With no supernatural help?

Oh, no. No supernatural,
natural or otherwise.

It's kill or be killed. It's
a rough world, baby.

You gotta be the
firstest with the mostest.

- You know what I mean?
- Play the angles.

The angles. Of which I'm
happy to say, you have none.

But you have.

Like fixing the exhibit
so it would fall apart.

You've been peeking.

And stalling elevators.

Oh, now, how would
I have done that?

Well, you couldn't, could you?

Well, sometimes it works
and sometimes it doesn't.

Pushing all the buttons
with "hold" at the same time.

Oh, that's very clever!

I bet you could work magic.

You better believe it.

Otherwise, how would you
have had the same layout

at the office that Darrin
left here at home?

I'm a winner, baby.
I keep telling you.

♪ Ba-da-loo, boop, boodle
Doodle, doodle-doo ♪

Doodling!

Darrin doodles all the time
while he talks on the phone.

He drew that
layout the day before

and didn't even know it, did he!

Wars have been won from
wastepaper baskets, baby.

Stephens!

A slip of the lip
can sink a ship.

You know, I don't
believe he is a witch.

You know, I
believe you're right.

Darrin, these
sketches are brilliant.

Thanks, Larry. I hope
Mr. Woolfe agrees.

Well, yes. Then again, no.

Say, where's young Whitsett?
He knows what I want.

Young Whitsett is
back sharpening pencils.

Oh, incidentally,

his approach to what you
say you want is dead wrong.

And suppose I want
things done my way?

Then you'd better
go to another agency.

Of course you told the
last one what you wanted

and your sales dropped,
um, 23 percent, I believe.

Twenty four. So?

So if you want a well-planned,
professional campaign,

stressing the
approach that you need,

then start listening to
what you're paying for

and stop telling the
doctor how to practice.

Okay. I never
argue with figures.

Talk, Missouri U. Talk.

All it took was a
little self-confidence.

To you.

You beautiful witch.

Thank you, sweetheart.
Oh, more brandy?

Mmm. No, thanks.

Just plain old-fashioned
insecurity and I nearly flipped.

Can you believe that?
Happens all the time.

Well, he saw it, and he used it.

No witchcraft, no black magic.

Just an unscrupulous kid
and me working against myself.

Mother's often said that mortals
are their own worst enemies.

You just said the one
word I don't like to hear.

Enemies? Mother.

Now, darling,
try to forgive her.

She only gave you
what you asked for.

Besides, I'm afraid I said
some pretty nasty things to her.

You did? Mmm. This morning.

She was so upset she
vowed she'd never come back.

Really?

You mean we're
finally rid of your...

We're finally rid of your...

Oh, dear.

Do you think she
really meant that...

Well, I was positive
that... That...

Gesundheit.