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1
00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:16,893
Mother!
2
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,328
Oh, hi, sweetheart.
3
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,463
Just what do you
think you're doing?
4
00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:22,132
It's called vacuuming
the draperies.
5
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,166
Excuse me.
6
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,534
Honey, I don't want you
7
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,102
bending and
stretching like that.
8
00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:27,503
Not in your condition.
9
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:28,972
Well, I appreciate your concern,
10
00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:30,006
but I'm fine.
11
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,242
And I want to keep it that way.
12
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,643
I don't want
you to lift a finger
13
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:34,945
until after the baby comes.
14
00:00:34,969 --> 00:00:37,247
But, Darrin... I don't mind you
15
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:38,614
doing a little light housework
16
00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:40,550
as long as you don't
tax your strength.
17
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:42,652
But no bending and stretching.
18
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:43,786
You sit right down there.
19
00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:45,743
I'm going to bring
you a glass of milk.
20
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:15,541
Samantha...
21
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,509
Turn it off.
22
00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:17,414
That settles it.
23
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:18,915
We'll hire a maid.
24
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:19,916
What?
25
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,684
Louise and Larry have a maid.
26
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,185
Esmeralda. She's a jewel.
27
00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:24,854
Well, I appreciate
the offer, Darrin,
28
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:25,855
but I don't want a maid.
29
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,424
Why not?
30
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:29,659
Because I don't
want a total stranger
31
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,561
running my household.
32
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:32,695
She won't run it, honey.
33
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,097
She'll just help you run it.
34
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,465
Besides, after the baby comes,
35
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,067
we'll have a
built-in baby-sitter.
36
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:38,368
I'll call the agency tomorrow
37
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,602
and they'll send some girls
38
00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:40,603
for you to interview.
39
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:43,973
Darrin, I don't... Sam,
40
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,810
I'm concerned about
the health and comfort
41
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,646
of my wife and child.
42
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,180
You really mean that, don't you?
43
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:53,917
Yeah. All right, all right.
44
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,684
Bring on the girls.
45
00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:56,986
I'll interview them.
46
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,788
And if I find one that
doesn't frighten me,
47
00:02:58,812 --> 00:02:59,789
I'll hire her.
48
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,057
Thank you. My pleasure.
49
00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:05,216
I hope.
50
00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,333
Mrs. Darrin Stephens?
51
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:13,035
Yes. I'm from the
employment agency.
52
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,504
My name is Mrs. Luftwaffe.
53
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,507
Mrs. Luftwaffe?
54
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,365
It's European.
Shall we be seated?
55
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,169
Yes.
56
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,883
My terms are as follows:
57
00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:30,686
I do no cooking, washing,
ironing or heavy cleaning.
58
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,388
I arise at 9 a.m.
59
00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:34,390
I have every Saturday
and Sunday off,
60
00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:37,059
leaving at noon on Friday and
returning at noon on Monday.
61
00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:39,496
My room must have
a color television set,
62
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,365
and I reserve the right to
choose my own wallpaper.
63
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,435
I see.
64
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,370
Now, about references...
65
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,904
Yes. I'll look at them now.
66
00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:51,941
You want to see my references?
67
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,543
From former housekeepers.
68
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,213
Well, I'm afraid there
haven't been any.
69
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,249
Oh, that's bad.
70
00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:02,585
I have a rule against
working for beginners.
71
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:04,053
Well, in that
case, I won't take...
72
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,523
However, if I decide
you have possibilities,
73
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:08,191
I might make an exception.
74
00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:11,093
How do you decide
if I have possibilities?
75
00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:13,762
I inspect how neat
you keep your kitchen.
76
00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:17,500
Well, I don't think
that'll be necessary.
77
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:20,269
I'm sure I don't come
up to your standards.
78
00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:22,638
I'll be the judge of that.
79
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:23,973
Now, where is it?
80
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:24,974
What?
81
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:25,975
The kitchen.
82
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:29,167
Oh. Follow me.
83
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:36,541
Right that way.
84
00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,106
Hi there!
85
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,108
I'm the maid from the
employment agency.
86
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,477
You are?
87
00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:02,878
Yeah.
88
00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:05,047
I always get that
reaction at first.
89
00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:07,416
I mean, just because
a girl is a maid
90
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,386
is no reason not to make
the most of her appearance.
91
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:11,487
Right?
92
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:15,891
I guess not. And
you certainly have.
93
00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:19,329
Oh, thanks.
94
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:25,235
Hey, this is a
groovy-looking house.
95
00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:26,969
Yeah, real groovy.
96
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:30,806
It has a fun feeling
about it, you know?
97
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,007
What does your husband do?
98
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:34,510
He's in advertising.
99
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:36,446
Groovy.
100
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,848
Maybe he could cast me in
a coast-to-coast commercial.
101
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,917
I'm very photogenic.
102
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:45,220
Here are references from the
last five husbands I worked for.
103
00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:48,224
Don't references generally
come from the wives?
104
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:49,558
Not in my case.
105
00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:51,628
Somehow I always
seem to establish
106
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,763
better rapport
with the husbands.
107
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:54,764
Isn't that funny?
108
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,499
Hysterical.
109
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,101
Is your husband a good dancer?
110
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:00,303
Groovy.
111
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:01,671
Would you like to see a picture?
112
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,227
I'd adore it.
113
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,969
This is my Darrin.
114
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,785
Sweetie, it's nothing personal,
115
00:06:16,809 --> 00:06:18,610
but I do have
other people to see.
116
00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:20,890
Hi.
117
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:21,890
Hi.
118
00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:23,892
I'm Naomi Hogan.
119
00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:25,194
I'm a refined widow,
120
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,596
and if the job is
still open, I'll take it.
121
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,999
I have my own
uniforms, I love children
122
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,668
and I need the money.
123
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,035
How do you like me so far?
124
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,237
So far, I like you just fine.
125
00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:37,740
But I bet you'd like to
know more about me.
126
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,809
Yes, I would.
127
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:40,866
Shall we be seated?
128
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,953
Well, I was born in Cincinnati,
129
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,421
the eldest daughter
of a poor but honest
130
00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:54,256
freelance upholsterer.
131
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,258
Mrs. Hogan... Oh, call me Naomi.
132
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:57,460
All right, Naomi,
133
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,428
I wanted to know more
about your experience
134
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:00,429
as a housekeeper.
135
00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:03,899
Yes. I was afraid you would.
136
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,134
Why?
137
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:08,404
Because lately my
experience has been lousy.
138
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,706
Due to a clash of personalities,
139
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,743
I have lost five jobs
in the past four weeks.
140
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,546
Clash of personalities
over what?
141
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:21,885
Well, my general incompetence,
my inedible cooking
142
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:24,888
and my nervous habit of
breaking whatever I touch.
143
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,623
Well, you have
one obvious virtue.
144
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:28,791
What's that?
145
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,059
You're honest.
146
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:32,461
Oh, I'm also desperate.
147
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,731
You see, I'm sending my
son through medical school
148
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,098
and if I don't get a job today,
149
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,600
I won't be able to
meet the deadline
150
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,502
on next semester's tuition.
151
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:43,072
I'll clean, I'll
scrub, I'll slave,
152
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:46,242
and I'll also sign a note
at 10 percent interest
153
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,577
for everything I break.
154
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:50,379
Naomi... Yes, ma'am.
155
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:51,380
You're hired.
156
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:52,615
You're kidding.
157
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,920
So the drunk
says to the gorilla,
158
00:07:57,944 --> 00:07:59,722
"Lady, don't brush me off
159
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:01,524
just because you're
wearing a mink coat."
160
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:08,297
Why aren't you laughing, Louise?
161
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:12,001
Dear, I've heard that
joke at least 50 times.
162
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,637
Mm-hm.
163
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,138
And what's your excuse, Sam?
164
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,773
Hm?
165
00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:20,676
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Larry.
166
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:23,045
She was busy worrying
about our new maid.
167
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,980
And I don't blame her.
168
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,883
We really should have
postponed this till next week.
169
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:30,753
You don't have company the
first night you have a new maid.
170
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:32,522
You give her time
to get adjusted.
171
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,190
That's ridiculous.
172
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,559
If she came from the same
agency that sent us Esmeralda,
173
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:37,660
she's a seasoned veteran.
174
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:38,928
Samantha, why don't you go out
175
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,396
and see how she's doing.
176
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:41,797
I know you're dying to.
177
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,198
Yes, I think I will.
178
00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:44,923
Excuse me.
179
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,844
How ya doing?
180
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,445
Oops!
181
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:57,947
Oh, dear, I'm sorry.
182
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:58,948
That's all right.
183
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,651
It was my fault. I startled you.
184
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:04,142
Well, back to the
old lettuce bin.
185
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,455
Have you followed my recipe
186
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:09,125
for Parisian consommé?
187
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,493
I tried to,
188
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:14,096
but consommé isn't
exactly my long suit.
189
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,766
I see what you mean.
190
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:17,900
Have you tasted it yet?
191
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:20,603
No. Uh, not yet.
192
00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:21,737
Maybe I'd better.
193
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:24,740
In your condition,
it might not be safe.
194
00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:27,264
No, it just needs
a little stirring.
195
00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:32,047
See?
196
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:37,886
Oh, that's terrific.
Mm... Thank you.
197
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,722
I mean, congratulations.
198
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,390
How about that.
199
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:45,260
I made Parisian consommé.
200
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:47,252
Now, let's see how well
you did with the roast.
201
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,435
Is it too well-done?
202
00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:57,073
No. No, not really.
203
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,008
You're just saying
that to be nice.
204
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,844
It looks like a king-size prune.
205
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,902
It just needs a little basting.
206
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,608
What a baste.
207
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,888
Mrs. Stephens,
208
00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,890
that's the best roast
I ever executed.
209
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:18,260
Well, it looks like
dinner's all ready.
210
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,695
Now, I'll go and
seat the guests,
211
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:20,897
and you serve the consommé.
212
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,131
Yes, ma'am.
213
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:26,402
Oh! And, Naomi,
keep up the good work.
214
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,893
Yes, ma'am.
215
00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:34,476
Mmmm. Superb.
216
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,445
I may not know
anything about cooking,
217
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,513
but I know about eating,
218
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,782
and this entire meal
was magnificent.
219
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,417
Amen.
220
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,553
Thank you. You
mean, thank Naomi.
221
00:10:43,577 --> 00:10:47,078
Yes, thank Naomi.
222
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:52,461
Morning, Naomi.
223
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,696
Good morning.
224
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,397
Why are you still
here on your day off?
225
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:56,732
I'm waiting for you to approve
226
00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:57,800
my first week estimate
227
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,869
on what I cost you in breakage.
228
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,137
Five, seven, nine, 13, 19, 25,
229
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:06,074
8, 12, 21, 27, 14
dollars and 75 cents.
230
00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:08,644
I figure 5 bucks for
cups and saucers,
231
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,946
$4 for ashtrays,
2.50 for plates.
232
00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:14,149
Naomi, we're insured.
233
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,250
And even if we weren't,
234
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:17,486
your son needs that
money more than we do.
235
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,222
Mrs. Stephens,
you're the kindest lady
236
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,057
I ever worked for.
237
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,759
And the best homemaker.
238
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:23,760
Really?
239
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:25,762
I can't explain it,
but with you around
240
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,296
to give me handy hints,
241
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,921
I can do things that I
could never do before.
242
00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:32,368
Want me to fix breakfast?
243
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:35,504
No. No, you run along
and have a nice day.
244
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,940
You know what
working for you is like?
245
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,441
What?
246
00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:43,701
It's like all of a sudden
I found my good fairy.
247
00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:48,584
Good morning, Naomi.
248
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:49,852
Good morning, Mr. Stephens.
249
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,453
Today is your day
off, isn't it? Yes.
250
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:53,122
I'm leaving as soon
as I get my purse.
251
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,146
Well, have a good day.
252
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:57,860
Hello.
253
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:58,995
Darrin, Louise.
254
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,663
In trouble.
255
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,464
Esmeralda was just
called out of town
256
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:03,933
because of illness
in her family,
257
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,868
and tonight I'm having
a formal dinner party
258
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,236
for eight people,
259
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:11,306
including that big-shot
new client What's-His-Name.
260
00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:13,208
Right. H.J. Simpson.
261
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,744
Well, we know
it's an imposition,
262
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,679
but Larry and I wondered,
263
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:20,482
would you mind lending
us Naomi for this evening?
264
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:24,186
To cook that same wonderful
meal we had with you.
265
00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:26,722
We'd be happy to pay her $15.
266
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:27,790
Just a second.
267
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:28,991
Naomi. Yes, sir.
268
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:31,059
Would you like to
earn an extra $15?
269
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,394
Oh, I'd love to.
270
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:33,863
My son, the medical student,
271
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,731
has to get a new
pair of white shoes.
272
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,499
Mrs. Tate needs help
with a dinner party.
273
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:39,201
What time do you
want her there, Louise?
274
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:40,769
Oh, about 5:00.
275
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:43,193
Okay. Five o'clock.
276
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:46,942
That's the address.
277
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:48,544
Thanks a million.
278
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,412
I'll go get a uniform.
279
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,947
It's all set, Louise.
280
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,415
We're not putting
you out, are we?
281
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,850
We really appreciate it.
282
00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:56,218
Don't mention it.
283
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:57,452
It's Naomi's day off,
284
00:12:57,476 --> 00:13:00,155
so it won't make any
difference to Samantha.
285
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:01,624
That's okay.
286
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,414
Have a nice party.
287
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,599
Do you still remember
how to cook?
288
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:11,767
I hope so.
289
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:12,768
So do I.
290
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,169
Naomi sets a very high standard.
291
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:16,539
I may be very hard to please.
292
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:17,540
Who called?
293
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:18,541
Louise Tate.
294
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:19,842
Oh, about what?
295
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,376
Oh, Esmeralda had to leave town,
296
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,378
so she hired Naomi to pinch-hit
297
00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:25,714
on a formal dinner
party for eight people.
298
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:28,019
May I have my
coffee please, honey?
299
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:30,708
Naomi!
300
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,044
Naomi!
301
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:34,860
Naomi?
302
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:37,059
She's gone!
303
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,226
Honey, what's the matter?
304
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:39,929
Louise has to cancel
that dinner party.
305
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,530
She can't.
306
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:42,531
Why?
307
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:43,632
It's in honor of a client.
308
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,134
Well, then she has
to invite us. Why?
309
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:50,439
Because if I'm not there to
give Naomi some handy hints,
310
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,507
the evening is
going to be a fiasco.
311
00:13:52,531 --> 00:13:54,977
Sam, will you please tell
me what you're talking about?
312
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:58,681
Do I have to? Yes.
313
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:02,851
Well, it's a... A long story.
314
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:06,577
And I have a feeling you're
gonna hate every word of it.
315
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,067
Looks great, Darrin.
316
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:21,036
Thank you, Larry.
317
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:23,438
Larry, I've got a great idea.
318
00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:25,273
Why don't you and
Louise and Samantha and I
319
00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,642
have dinner together tonight?
320
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:30,278
Well, Sam must've told
you Louise borrowed Naomi.
321
00:14:30,302 --> 00:14:31,647
We're having guests for dinner.
322
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:34,116
Oh, that's a pity.
323
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,985
I was looking forward
to seeing both of you.
324
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,686
Why?
325
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,277
Oh, just felt like it.
326
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:45,460
Well, uh, maybe
we'll go for a drive.
327
00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:49,064
Darrin, I'm kind of busy.
328
00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:51,834
Maybe we'll take a drive through
your neighborhood and drop in.
329
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,202
What for?
330
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,503
A bite to eat?
331
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,573
Darrin, I've already told you,
332
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,641
we're having dinner guests.
333
00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:01,743
Larry, it's just as easy
to cook for ten people
334
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:03,645
as it is for eight.
335
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:05,281
I don't get it.
336
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:09,018
Why are you hinting around
to be invited to dinner?
337
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,686
Well, Larry, we're
very fond of Louise
338
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,288
and we don't see enough of her.
339
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,490
You saw her Friday night.
340
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,360
Yes, and she was so charming
we'd like to see her again.
341
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:20,029
Okay.
342
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,231
Why don't you come over to
dinner a week from Sunday.
343
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,233
We're busy. Why
don't we come tonight.
344
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,269
Darrin, tonight is business.
345
00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:29,171
I'm wining and dining
old man Simpson
346
00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:31,573
and his son, old
man Simpson, Jr.
347
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,642
I know, and maybe
he'd like to meet
348
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,110
some other
members of your staff.
349
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:38,214
The only member of my
staff he's interested in meeting
350
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:41,083
is the man assigned to
his account: Bob Chetley.
351
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,853
Why don't Bob and
I change accounts?
352
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:45,855
I'll take the Simpson
account and he can take...
353
00:15:45,879 --> 00:15:51,459
Ah, I finally understand.
354
00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:52,995
You finally understand what?
355
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,296
You're jealous of Bob Chetley.
356
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,297
No, I'm not.
357
00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:56,798
Because I gave
the Simpson account
358
00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:57,833
to him and not to you.
359
00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,101
Larry, that's not true.
360
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,536
I think it is.
361
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,271
Look, may we come
to dinner or not?
362
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,840
You know, with a
little work, Darrin,
363
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:08,310
you could overcome this
terrible shyness of yours.
364
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:09,978
Yes or no? No.
365
00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:12,314
Don't beat around the bush.
Give me a straight answer.
366
00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:13,604
Get out of here, Darrin.
367
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,559
Honey, I'll bet you
a thousand dollars
368
00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:25,995
this doesn't work.
369
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:27,329
Don't be pessimistic.
370
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:29,098
You never know if
something doesn't work
371
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,165
until you try it.
372
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,867
All right.
373
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:39,408
Well, good evening.
Welcome to...
374
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:40,876
I don't believe it.
375
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,077
Good evening, Larry.
376
00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:44,513
Here's the book I
borrowed last Christmas.
377
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,715
Thank you.
378
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,751
Do you always get this
dressed up to return books?
379
00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:52,154
No... Not always,
just occasionally.
380
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,389
As an expectant mother,
381
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,958
I felt a sudden craving
for a formal dinner party.
382
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,693
Samantha, I admire you.
383
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,828
You do?
384
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,497
I like a wife who's interested
in her husband's career,
385
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,133
but don't push him too fast.
386
00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:07,035
Darrin will be made
a vice president
387
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:10,138
when the time comes,
and not a moment before.
388
00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,641
Good night.
389
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,111
Well!
390
00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:17,780
Come on. Where are we going?
391
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:19,181
Home.
392
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,483
If Larry thinks we're
bucking for a vice presidency,
393
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:23,085
we're going to stop
trying to help him
394
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:25,776
and let him drown
in his own fiasco.
395
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:35,297
What time is it?
396
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:36,932
Eight o'clock.
397
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:39,802
The Tate's kitchen must
be a disaster area by now.
398
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:42,070
Good.
399
00:17:42,094 --> 00:17:43,438
How's your pizza? Fine.
400
00:17:43,462 --> 00:17:44,706
How's yours?
401
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:45,941
Delicious.
402
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:49,978
The sweet pizza of revenge.
403
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:53,670
I, uh... I forgot the napkins.
404
00:18:33,712 --> 00:18:36,424
Naomi... Yes?
405
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,493
If I didn't know how
well things turn out,
406
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:41,063
this mess would
make me very nervous.
407
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:43,932
Well, I'm not
used to flying solo.
408
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,533
Somehow I feel
much more confident
409
00:18:45,557 --> 00:18:47,957
when Mrs. Stephens is around.
410
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:01,417
Isn't this Parisian
consommé a little thick?
411
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,641
No. You just have to stir it.
412
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:13,951
When Mrs. Stephens
stirred it... It...
413
00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:26,508
There!
414
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:28,665
Very good.
415
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:39,621
There.
416
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,557
What took you so long, honey?
417
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,426
I put the coffee on.
418
00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:47,351
On second thought, I
think I'd rather have tea.
419
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,264
Oh.
420
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,683
Naomi, you burned it.
421
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:11,308
It looks like... Like
a king-size prune.
422
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:15,024
Well, it just needs
to be basted.
423
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:18,115
Oh, it's hopeless.
424
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:24,366
Mrs. Tate!
425
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,556
Yes?
426
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:29,704
What happened?
427
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:32,374
You see, the
secret's in the basting.
428
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,164
Ah!
429
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,419
Hi. Ooh!
430
00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:46,755
Uh-oh. Where have you been?
431
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:47,856
As if I didn't know.
432
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,526
Darrin, I just
can't stand by idle.
433
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:51,960
Oh, yes, you can.
434
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:54,163
Larry Tate is getting
exactly what he deserves.
435
00:20:54,187 --> 00:20:56,365
But Louise isn't.
436
00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:58,367
You're not a woman so
you wouldn't understand,
437
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,902
but one fiasco dinner
party can open wounds
438
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,171
that may never heal!
439
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,005
Well, it's worse
than wearing slacks
440
00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:05,774
when everybody else
is wearing dresses.
441
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:07,742
Darrin, please!
442
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:08,743
Please, what?
443
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:11,446
Let me go back and help Naomi.
444
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:13,848
I promise I'll never
use witchcraft again.
445
00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:15,550
You will?
446
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:18,487
Well... I'll, uh...
447
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:20,389
promise to try and taper off.
448
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:21,856
Oh, I've got to get back
449
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,058
before something
drastic happens.
450
00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:26,995
Well, I guess just because
I'm having a beef with Larry
451
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:28,730
is no reason to
take it out on Louise.
452
00:21:28,754 --> 00:21:30,599
That's right. Well, thank you.
453
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,800
I've got to go make dessert.
454
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:33,001
Swell.
455
00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:35,003
I suppose you've got a
great dessert planned.
456
00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:36,371
Mm-hm. Cherries Jubilee.
457
00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:38,695
Boy, I should get that lucky.
458
00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:42,165
You just have.
459
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,935
Well, back to Naomi.
460
00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:49,451
Good.
461
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,086
Everything's ready to serve.
462
00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:52,421
You see, I told you
463
00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:54,690
you didn't need Mrs.
Stephens around.
464
00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:56,725
I guess not.
465
00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:58,993
I've got a very
funny feeling, though.
466
00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:01,296
It's as if someone's
watching over me.
467
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,764
Nonsense.
468
00:22:02,788 --> 00:22:04,255
You're a marvelous cook.
469
00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:23,407
Like I said, somebody
up there likes me.
470
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:39,901
Honey, this is the worst
breakfast I've ever eaten.
471
00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:42,371
I let Naomi cook it herself.
472
00:22:42,395 --> 00:22:44,038
In line with my new policy
473
00:22:44,062 --> 00:22:45,707
of trying to give up witchcraft.
474
00:22:45,731 --> 00:22:47,776
When are you going to fire her?
475
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:48,877
Soon.
476
00:22:48,901 --> 00:22:50,145
When is soon?
477
00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:53,448
As soon as her son
graduates from medical school.
478
00:22:53,472 --> 00:22:55,984
Honey, that's...
Mr. and Mrs. Stephens,
479
00:22:56,008 --> 00:22:57,252
I have something to tell you.
480
00:22:57,276 --> 00:22:58,786
Oh?
481
00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:01,189
You're the most wonderful
people I've ever worked for,
482
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:02,390
so therefore, I'm quitting.
483
00:23:02,414 --> 00:23:03,825
You are?
484
00:23:03,849 --> 00:23:05,293
You are?
485
00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:08,196
You deserve the absolute
tops in domestic help.
486
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,731
And, let's face it,
487
00:23:09,755 --> 00:23:11,833
I am not the absolute tops.
488
00:23:11,857 --> 00:23:15,370
Sooner or later
you'd have to fire me,
489
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,339
so I'd like to quit now,
before the baby comes,
490
00:23:17,363 --> 00:23:20,275
because even though
I wouldn't do right by it,
491
00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:21,776
I know I'd fall in love with it,
492
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,512
and I couldn't bear to leave it.
493
00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:26,481
So it will work better
all around if I leave now.
494
00:23:26,505 --> 00:23:30,084
Oh, here's an estimate
of my breakage.
495
00:23:30,108 --> 00:23:32,354
Now, Naomi, you put that away.
496
00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:33,821
I told you we were insured.
497
00:23:33,845 --> 00:23:36,424
Oh, this is what I
broke at Mrs. Tate's.
498
00:23:36,448 --> 00:23:37,425
Oh.
499
00:23:37,449 --> 00:23:41,196
Three, 9, 10, carry
1, 8, 11, 15, carry 1.
500
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:43,064
Seventeen dollars and 50 cents.
501
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,534
Well.
502
00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:48,370
Um, Naomi, would you wait
for me in the kitchen, please?
503
00:23:48,394 --> 00:23:49,660
Yes, ma'am.
504
00:23:50,796 --> 00:23:54,442
Darrin, did you hear how
she added these figures?
505
00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:56,377
Uh-huh. She's a good adder.
506
00:23:56,401 --> 00:23:58,413
Do you think you
could get her a job
507
00:23:58,437 --> 00:23:59,948
in your accounting department?
508
00:23:59,972 --> 00:24:01,349
I bet I could.
509
00:24:01,373 --> 00:24:04,252
Oh, that would kill three
birds with one stone.
510
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:05,453
How three?
511
00:24:05,477 --> 00:24:08,423
One, it's a good job
that she could keep.
512
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,559
Two, she'd be
making a bigger salary
513
00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:12,594
and could send more
money to her son.
514
00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:15,230
And three, I could go
back to not having a maid.
515
00:24:15,254 --> 00:24:17,966
Honey, do you really
not want to have a maid?
516
00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:21,458
More than anything I've
ever not wanted in my life.
517
00:24:22,661 --> 00:24:24,439
Will you look into
it this morning?
518
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,775
I'll look into it this morning.
519
00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:29,310
Naomi,
520
00:24:29,334 --> 00:24:33,270
Mr. Stephens has just
had a brilliant suggestion.
35266
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