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The year of our Lord 1645.
England is on its knees.
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A kingdom blighted by civil war,
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plague,
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but most of all,
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witchery.
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Yet God has sent forth a breed
of man to hold these wretches
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to the cleansing fires of justice.
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Witchfinder!
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Yes, I'm the Witchfinder,
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here to tell the true tale
of a wretch called Elizabeth Snell.
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She worshipped the devil,
got down on her knees,
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and used his dark powers
to murder her niece.
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Hang her!
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Hang her!
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Can't hear you!
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Hang her!!
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That's better!
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Her windpipe gives way,
the neck starts to crack.
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The weight of her body
fractures her back.
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CHEERING
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Her eyes start to bulge,
her bowels open wide,
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the last meal she had
is no longer inside.
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Oh, I didn't know they
shat themselves.
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For women like Elizabeth
are easily led.
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She was an only child who never wed,
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and if there are
no further questions...
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I've got a question.
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What?
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I thought you said
she murdered her niece.
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Yes... If she was an only child,
how did she even have a niece?
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Oh, for God's sake.
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Well, he said if anyone's
got any questions...
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The Witchfinder is meant
for the children.
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If you had any respect,
you'd shut your mouth.
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You know that's not Witchfinder.
That is a man in a tent.
36
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Well, don't ruin it!
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Is it really a man in a tent?
Oh, well done!
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It's not a tent. It's a booth!
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What is wrong with you?
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Why not let it go?
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I'm just interested. Yeah, well,
you would be, wouldn't you?
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And what's that supposed to mean?!
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Witches!!
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They've found a coven of witches!!
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SHOUTING
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Hey! I've not passed the hat round!
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What about the...?
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Oh, hello.
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SINGING
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# Write them on
the wishing wall... #
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# If you be a man of
old world...fame
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# Then tell me
all their father's names
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# Of the well below the valley
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# Green grow the lilies... #
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Now, that's a lovely hat.
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With genuinely lovely, um...
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..I want to say angles.
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It's by Charles Booth of London.
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Of course it is.
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One can't skimp on a hat.
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It's very much the, um,
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shoe of the head. The, er...
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..the glove of the, um...
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..head again.
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It's classic Booth, is what it is.
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Would you mind
if I took it for a stroll?
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A stroll? Just four minutes.
Just, er, see how she wears.
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We've got five minutes. Four!
Thank you!
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Fuck off. I just don't
see the need for this.
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We are talking about
a whole coven.
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Four witches
and a pact with the devil.
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You think the magistrate's going
to employ me with my old hat?!
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The brim droops
like a dog's tongue.
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I like dogs.
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I like dogs!
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I just don't want their tongue
slapping against my forehead.
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OK, there he is. Ready?
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Ready?
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Yes... Yes, I'm ready, Gideon!
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Oh! Little curtsy?
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Goodbye.
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Good Lord.
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MUTTERS TO HIMSELF
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LOUD COUGH
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Good Lord! Magistrate!
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I'm so sorry. Forgive my haste.
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I will, of course, have my
book-keeper reimburse you
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for any crumpling to your garments.
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You have a book-keeper?!
I have a book-keeper, yes!
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For all the work that's come in
since I last saw you.
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Still, good day.
92
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Something you wanted?
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Oh, no. No, no.
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Just passing through.
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I'm on my way to Snetterton
to question a suspected witch.
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Is it Snetterton...?
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Constantin on the Monday
for the trial,
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then off to Norwich
for the possessed chorister,
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so yes, Snetterton. Snetterton, as
a favour to the magistrate, really.
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He's worried that witchery running
amok will reflect badly upon him.
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The last thing a magistrate needs
is panic spreading around the town
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like the pox.
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For God's sake, Mr Bannister.
Is that what this is?
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Hmm? You grubbing for work?
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No! Work?!
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Ha-ha! I already explained.
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I'm on my way to Snetterton.
108
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Yes. Snetterton's that way.
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From over there.
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Honestly.
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If I wanted to investigate
the coven, don't you think
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I'd come round and ask?
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No, because you've been told
to not come round and ask,
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and this is your way of dangling
yourself in front of me
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without doing that. Popping out
on some prearranged signal!
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The woman has a cough!
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If I needed...
SHE COUGHS
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Jesus wept.
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If I needed a witchfinder,
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there's plenty of them around.
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Fine!
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I don't have a book-keeper
and this is...
123
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..a borrowed hat. It's borrowed hat,
yes, which I may ultimately buy.
124
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But what I do have is knowledge,
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expertise,
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and, quite frankly, balls.
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Two of them. Massive.
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Enough to tackle the gravest
cases of witchery, like your coven.
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Oh, well, I've no coven for you.
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But...
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But I do have one thorny case
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if you think you and your balls
can handle it.
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Oh, the three of us will
be just fine, I'm sure.
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What's this?
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This is the victim.
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It's a pig.
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A pig killed by sorcery.
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You should have heard him.
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He said I was the town's
pre-eminent witchfinder.
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What, you are?! Trusted
with the gravest witchery.
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SHE SQUEALS
Decorum, decorum, decorum.
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And he said there were a couple
of rooms at the tavern
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waiting for us -
just say his name.
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Mr Topcliffe.
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To the landlady. Oh!
Wouldn't be to me, would it?
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Oh! Decorum, decorum.
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Do you remember when you used
to ride that little pig
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in the village? Genevieve.
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Vaguely. Had a heart attack,
didn't she? All right, all right.
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May God have mercy on her soul.
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There weren't enough for you.
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Oh, don't apologise, master.
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Don't think I did. Oh, and, er...
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Yes, Master? Oh...
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Watch out for that shit.
Thank you, Master.
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I said I'll trim your beard.
It's what you pay me for.
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It's actually not
what I pay you for.
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Last time you did it,
you gave it corners.
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It's Hebble!
Come away from the window!
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Oh, let him see.
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Your beard's looking full.
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At least he can grow one!
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Great to see you, Mr Hebble.
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You here to lobby
for this coven job?
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There is no coven job.
Yours was a wasted journey.
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Then why take a room?
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Oh, nothing much.
168
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Just being offered another job.
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I'm delighted for you.
What is it this time?
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Someone else cursed with eczema?
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A goat that cries like a baby?
172
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Remember that fruit picker
who had a demon in his hedge?
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There wasn't a demon in his hedge.
174
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You'd know. You interrogated it.
To rule it out.
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How's my work going?
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I don't remember asking you that.
Good question.
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Which I didn't ask.
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Fucking well. You probably heard
about the three witches I convicted
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near Mattishall for destroying
a village in a mudslide.
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I've been awarded
the freedom of Girton.
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Oh, the freedom of Girton! Wow-ee!
What does that entail?
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Is there a fenced-off bit that the
rest of us aren't allowed into? No.
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So identical to NOT having
the freedom of Girton then.
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You must be thrilled.
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HE CHUCKLES
186
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Is there something else.
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No.
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Do feel free to go!
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I will.
190
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And yet you haven't.
191
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Just enjoying the town.
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Toss pot.
193
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SHOUTING
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Yes! The baying mob. Oh, lovely.
195
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What is baying?
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Um... It's just something mobs do.
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Egg.
198
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Right.
199
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We pray for protection against
the wickedness and sins
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of the devil. May God rebuke him.
201
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We pray for protection against the
wickedness and sins...
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DOOR CREAKS OPEN
203
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Yup.
204
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Thank you.
205
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It's like that, is it?
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I see women like you...
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..all the time.
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Hard, impenetrable,
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revealing none of what's inside.
210
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But then I set to work
and all of a sudden...
211
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Oh, look. She's broken.
212
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And it all comes out.
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I fucking told you!
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Oh, I see.
215
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I'm so sorry.
216
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I thought you were...
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I thought she was...
218
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I've done nothing! Silence!
219
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Do you have to be that close?
Your dick is in my armpit.
220
00:09:02,230 --> 00:09:03,910
My dick is not in her armpit.
Some of it is.
221
00:09:03,950 --> 00:09:05,950
It's not love, I wouldn't.
Careful! Don't goad the witch!
222
00:09:05,990 --> 00:09:07,150
I'm not a witch!
223
00:09:07,190 --> 00:09:09,470
Tell that to my pig!
I never wanted him to die.
224
00:09:09,510 --> 00:09:12,070
And how are you planning on getting
the pork out? Shit bacon, does he?
225
00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:14,030
You have the devil in you, lady!
226
00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:15,990
Contrary, idle...
227
00:09:16,030 --> 00:09:17,150
And why does she live alone?!
228
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,910
What sort of woman
remains unmarried?
229
00:09:18,950 --> 00:09:21,230
Lots of women are unmarried.
Your sister's unmarried!
230
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:23,270
She's not unmarried
the way you're unmarried.
231
00:09:23,310 --> 00:09:25,310
There's something not right
about the way you're unmarried.
232
00:09:25,350 --> 00:09:27,110
I agree, actually...
Oh, fuck off, Anne.
233
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,630
I swear to God, I will hit you...
234
00:09:28,670 --> 00:09:30,750
Put the jug down.
235
00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:35,590
No-one leaves this room
without my express permission.
236
00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:39,310
Old Myers will now bag the suspect's
possessions as evidence while I...
237
00:09:39,350 --> 00:09:41,470
Sorry, who are you?
I'm the witchfinder.
238
00:09:41,510 --> 00:09:43,990
Oh, finally! You know, they
said a witchfinder was coming
239
00:09:44,030 --> 00:09:46,150
and I thought,
"Do you know what? Good.
240
00:09:46,190 --> 00:09:48,270
"Someone with half a brain
to sort this out."
241
00:09:48,310 --> 00:09:51,190
I said, "As long as he knows what
he's going on about, then that's
great."
242
00:09:51,230 --> 00:09:53,910
As long as I... ..know what you're
going on about, then that's great.
243
00:09:53,950 --> 00:09:56,390
I do know what I'm going on about.
Then that's great.
244
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,750
My name is Gideon Bannister.
245
00:09:59,790 --> 00:10:02,190
Some of you may have heard the name.
246
00:10:05,030 --> 00:10:08,510
That's a no. My job is to determine
whether the suspect,
247
00:10:08,550 --> 00:10:10,670
one, Thomasine Gooch,
248
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:13,790
has pledged herself to the devil.
249
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:18,950
Because let me tell you,
I see women like you all the time.
250
00:10:18,990 --> 00:10:20,550
Hard.
251
00:10:20,590 --> 00:10:21,750
Impenetrable...
252
00:10:21,790 --> 00:10:23,550
Another egg? No, cheers.
253
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,830
But then I set to work...
Another egg?
254
00:10:25,870 --> 00:10:27,190
So that's your egg on the floor?
255
00:10:27,230 --> 00:10:29,350
Well, regardless of that, I'm...
Never mind regardless,
256
00:10:29,390 --> 00:10:30,830
you just dropped egg on my floor.
257
00:10:30,870 --> 00:10:32,550
Can we please get back
to talking about
258
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,670
the maleficium
that you're accused of?
259
00:10:34,710 --> 00:10:37,310
I think we should, yeah. Yeah,
I think we should, too, yeah.
260
00:10:37,350 --> 00:10:38,710
After you've picked up that egg.
261
00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:40,950
Myers, clear it up.
She didn't drop the egg.
262
00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:42,870
Look, you have two options here.
263
00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:45,430
The first is you just admit
to the crime and we move on...
264
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,790
Look, I want to work with you,
you want to work with me...
265
00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:50,710
The one that we don't want to do
really, if we can avoid it...
266
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:53,190
..pick up the egg.
..would be to start stalling
267
00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:55,470
so that I have to use more and
more imaginative means
268
00:10:55,510 --> 00:10:57,670
trying to squeeze the confession out
of you. ..I want to work with you.
269
00:10:57,710 --> 00:11:00,270
Do you see that?
So which course do you want to take?
270
00:11:00,310 --> 00:11:01,790
Which course? I can see it there.
271
00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:03,790
THEY STOP TALKING SIMULTANEOUSLY
272
00:11:11,110 --> 00:11:13,270
Now... Some there. OK.
273
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,150
Right, now,
274
00:11:18,190 --> 00:11:20,030
you can see, if you ask around,
275
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:23,710
there really is nothing to it. Yes,
well, there's not nothing to it,
276
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,230
is there? Her pig's dead.
277
00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:26,390
It was like 100.
278
00:11:26,430 --> 00:11:28,710
And then we have
your ungodly behaviour,
279
00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:30,310
your repellent character.
280
00:11:30,350 --> 00:11:33,230
I like a drink. Yes, and this
is before we even discuss
281
00:11:33,270 --> 00:11:34,990
Brown Peter... My chicken.
282
00:11:35,030 --> 00:11:36,110
Your imp!
283
00:11:36,150 --> 00:11:39,550
Witnesses saw a demon
in animal form
284
00:11:39,590 --> 00:11:43,190
approaching your dwelling
to suckle at your teat!
285
00:11:43,230 --> 00:11:46,390
Be gone foul creature!
In Christ's name be gone!
286
00:11:46,430 --> 00:11:47,710
It's a chicken.
287
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:48,750
Oh! Myers?
288
00:11:48,790 --> 00:11:53,510
"The beast strode to the door
with a purposeful gait."
289
00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:56,550
That's how they walk.
They don't stroll around whistling.
290
00:11:56,590 --> 00:12:00,110
Then one wonders how this
whole thing has arisen.
291
00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:03,710
Know what you could do instead
of wondering? Ask something.
292
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:05,470
Yeah, you'd love that, wouldn't you?
293
00:12:05,510 --> 00:12:09,230
Always twisting and pulling at
things with unnecessary questions.
294
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,790
It's a necessary question.
295
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,230
Do I have a plough behind me?
296
00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:13,830
Are you done with that chicken?
297
00:12:13,870 --> 00:12:14,950
Do I have a lump?
298
00:12:14,990 --> 00:12:16,910
I thought witchfinders
were meant to ask questions.
299
00:12:16,950 --> 00:12:18,110
You're just saying stuff.
300
00:12:18,150 --> 00:12:20,990
That witchfinder looking into the
coven, he asked loads of questions.
301
00:12:21,030 --> 00:12:23,070
Well, for your information,
there is no coven.
302
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,190
For your information,
there is a coven.
303
00:12:25,230 --> 00:12:26,310
I thought there was, yeah.
304
00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:27,790
Then why would your magistrate
305
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,630
specifically tell me
there is no coven?
306
00:12:30,670 --> 00:12:33,030
Well, maybe he didn't
want to give you the work
307
00:12:33,070 --> 00:12:35,350
because he didn't want to give you
anything serious.
308
00:12:41,830 --> 00:12:42,950
Fucking hell.
309
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:48,590
Is it not true...
310
00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:52,990
..that you did enter into a pact
with these women
311
00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:55,830
to do the devil's bidding?!
312
00:12:55,870 --> 00:12:57,110
The devil!
313
00:12:57,150 --> 00:13:00,550
That you convened a sabbot
314
00:13:00,590 --> 00:13:04,230
and together put a pox
upon the fairest children?
315
00:13:04,270 --> 00:13:06,390
God rest their souls.
316
00:13:07,630 --> 00:13:10,710
It is clear to me
that you have allowed the...
317
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:14,910
You look like the cat who's watching
the other cat get the cream.
318
00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:16,670
A real sour puss.
319
00:13:16,710 --> 00:13:18,230
Fuck off.
320
00:13:18,270 --> 00:13:19,710
Excuse me.
321
00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:22,270
..and who sealed this pact...
322
00:13:23,430 --> 00:13:26,910
Did you not lie with Satan...
323
00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:29,270
..Connolly?
324
00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:30,910
CROWD GASPS
325
00:13:30,950 --> 00:13:35,830
Did you not lie
with Satan Connolly?!
326
00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:37,310
Simple question, love.
327
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,510
Did you fuck the devil?
328
00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:39,790
I did.
329
00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:41,990
I did!
330
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:45,590
Two words that are truly damning.
331
00:13:45,630 --> 00:13:49,030
Two words that point to one word.
332
00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:58,910
Witch!
333
00:13:58,950 --> 00:14:02,110
CROWD SHOUTS AND CHANTS
334
00:14:04,990 --> 00:14:07,190
Oh! He's good, isn't he?
335
00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:08,870
Yeah, fantastic. He's good!
336
00:14:08,910 --> 00:14:11,270
You know, different from you.
Different.
337
00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:13,790
He is different. Not better,
not better, just different.
338
00:14:13,830 --> 00:14:15,870
You wouldn't want this case,
though, would you?
339
00:14:15,910 --> 00:14:17,350
Three dead kids.
340
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,390
I would bloody love three dead kids!
341
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,030
I'd love three dead kids.
342
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:25,270
Some proper witchcraft!
343
00:14:25,310 --> 00:14:28,830
Rather than this "he said, she said"
domestic quarrels,
344
00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:32,910
while all the best work
goes to this bellowing ape.
345
00:14:32,950 --> 00:14:34,190
I like apes.
346
00:14:34,230 --> 00:14:35,310
I like apes!
347
00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:38,030
I just don't like them
nicking my bloody work. Mm.
348
00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:39,310
Topcliffe.
349
00:14:39,350 --> 00:14:40,550
Excuse me.
350
00:14:40,590 --> 00:14:42,870
You said there was no coven.
351
00:14:42,910 --> 00:14:44,670
Those were your exact words.
352
00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:46,310
No, no. My exact words were...
353
00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:48,230
"There's no coven for you".
354
00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:49,670
That's cute.
355
00:14:49,710 --> 00:14:52,710
Come on. Everyone has their level.
356
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:55,950
Look, if you think
I'm going to ask John Stern,
357
00:14:55,990 --> 00:14:58,910
one of the most respected
witchfinders in the country,
358
00:14:58,950 --> 00:15:00,510
who happens to be passing
through town
359
00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:02,790
and offers us his assistance...
John Stern?
360
00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:04,430
That man was John Stern?!
361
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:07,230
But he's the right hand man
to Matthew Hopkins,
362
00:15:07,270 --> 00:15:08,790
the Witchfinder General.
363
00:15:11,030 --> 00:15:12,470
Is there something you wanted?
364
00:15:12,510 --> 00:15:13,990
Me? Yes.
365
00:15:14,030 --> 00:15:16,710
No, no. Just thinking about
the Witchfinder General.
366
00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:23,270
RAUCOUS LAUGHTER
367
00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:26,790
And because they were twins,
you couldn't tell which was which!
368
00:15:28,350 --> 00:15:29,830
There you go, boys.
369
00:15:29,870 --> 00:15:32,670
Yeah, another bowl of cherries
for the table.
370
00:15:32,710 --> 00:15:34,190
You've not paid for these yet.
371
00:15:34,230 --> 00:15:36,430
Paid?! This is John Stern.
372
00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:38,470
Is that supposed to mean
something to me?
373
00:15:38,510 --> 00:15:39,670
Well, let's see.
374
00:15:41,110 --> 00:15:43,350
Does your daughter
mean anything to you?
375
00:15:43,390 --> 00:15:44,430
What?
376
00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:46,870
Your daughter. The one
who sneaks off every night
377
00:15:46,910 --> 00:15:49,030
to fetch off the devil? My daughter?
378
00:15:49,070 --> 00:15:50,470
Fetching of the devil?
379
00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:52,870
Who's saying that...?
Well, I did and you just have,
380
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:53,990
so that's two already.
381
00:15:54,030 --> 00:15:56,910
I only said it... See how quickly
these things catch fire?
382
00:15:57,950 --> 00:16:00,230
That's how quickly your
daughter's hair will catch fire
383
00:16:00,270 --> 00:16:02,510
when I have her burned as a witch.
384
00:16:02,550 --> 00:16:04,510
I'll get your cherries.
385
00:16:07,470 --> 00:16:09,590
I hate having to do that,
but it's just quicker.
386
00:16:09,630 --> 00:16:11,190
LAUGHTER
387
00:16:11,230 --> 00:16:13,310
Sorry, you were saying
about scripture...
388
00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:15,950
Ah, now. It's important.
I could quote scripture.
389
00:16:15,990 --> 00:16:17,230
I could say,
390
00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:22,350
"A woman that hath a familiar spirit
shall surely be put to death."
391
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:27,190
Now, some witchfinders will be able
to tell you the chapter and verse...
392
00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:28,710
Leviticus 20:27.
393
00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:31,190
..whereas others, like me,
like Matthew -
394
00:16:31,230 --> 00:16:33,430
that ilk - we're not bothered. No.
395
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:36,150
We're more focused
on the bigger picture.
396
00:16:36,190 --> 00:16:38,670
Who cares? Yes, might not
be Chapter 20 in the end.
397
00:16:38,710 --> 00:16:40,110
It might not be Chapter 20.
398
00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:41,870
I'm not sure.
Not sure about what?
399
00:16:41,910 --> 00:16:44,190
Well, which one - what he was
saying about the bigger picture.
400
00:16:44,230 --> 00:16:46,390
You need to... In fact,
I'll talk to him.
401
00:16:46,430 --> 00:16:51,350
I have to say, I have written
a witchfinding pamphlet myself,
402
00:16:51,390 --> 00:16:53,030
which I've got here.
403
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,550
I'll just find a seat.
404
00:16:54,590 --> 00:16:57,750
It is called
"An Observation of the Study
405
00:16:57,790 --> 00:17:00,550
"of the Nature of the
Foulness of witches".
406
00:17:00,590 --> 00:17:03,230
Maybe one too many "of the" there,
but my plan is...
407
00:17:03,270 --> 00:17:05,070
You're in my seat. Off I go. Lovely.
408
00:17:05,110 --> 00:17:06,670
Happy to stand. Love standing.
409
00:17:06,710 --> 00:17:09,830
Now. My name is Gideon Bannister.
410
00:17:09,870 --> 00:17:12,390
I loved...
411
00:17:12,430 --> 00:17:14,670
..loved your prosecuting earlier.
412
00:17:14,710 --> 00:17:16,110
Some lovely scripture.
413
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:18,470
Lovely scripture.
Crowd in the palm of your hands.
414
00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:20,270
Fantastic peppering of Latin...
415
00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:22,830
And a little tonic
for loosening the tongue.
416
00:17:22,870 --> 00:17:24,910
Red Cap mushroom, crushed and dried.
417
00:17:24,950 --> 00:17:26,310
GIDEON LAUGHS
418
00:17:26,350 --> 00:17:28,830
You will excuse Mr Hebble.
419
00:17:28,870 --> 00:17:31,950
You might have to resort
to the use of intoxicants
420
00:17:31,990 --> 00:17:33,430
to secure a conviction,
421
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,510
but witchfinders like John and me
422
00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:39,990
prefer to rely on scriptures,
scruples and scrutiny.
423
00:17:40,030 --> 00:17:41,950
The three "scrus".
424
00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:43,950
And I believe, if I'm not wrong,
425
00:17:43,990 --> 00:17:45,350
that belongs to you.
426
00:17:45,390 --> 00:17:47,230
And apologies for that.
427
00:17:47,270 --> 00:17:49,510
Now, if you'll excuse us, Mr Hebble,
428
00:17:49,550 --> 00:17:52,790
John and me are talking about
my witchfinding pamphlet...
429
00:17:52,830 --> 00:17:54,830
That's the second time
you've said "John and me".
430
00:17:54,870 --> 00:17:57,230
There is no "John and me".
431
00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:02,670
It's not like
you're a proper witchfinder.
432
00:18:02,710 --> 00:18:05,230
Well, I am a witchfinder.
433
00:18:05,270 --> 00:18:07,390
Because you have
a witchfinder's hat?
434
00:18:07,430 --> 00:18:09,070
And the cloak?
435
00:18:09,110 --> 00:18:11,990
Put a scarecrow
in a farmer's hat and coat,
436
00:18:12,030 --> 00:18:13,430
does that make it a farmer?
437
00:18:14,950 --> 00:18:17,390
I'm engaged in a case
across the square.
438
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,270
Oh. Let me know
if it comes to trial.
439
00:18:20,310 --> 00:18:23,270
I'm sure Mr Hopkins will be keen
to hear of a good new witchfinder.
440
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:24,350
Tomorrow morning.
441
00:18:24,390 --> 00:18:26,190
They're going to try her
tomorrow morning? Yup.
442
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,790
On stage, or... On stage.
All welcome.
443
00:18:28,830 --> 00:18:30,790
I might come to that.
Please do.
444
00:18:30,830 --> 00:18:32,230
Please do.
445
00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:34,510
Please do.
446
00:18:35,590 --> 00:18:37,310
COCKEREL CROWS
447
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:40,030
HE BREATHES DEEPLY
448
00:18:43,110 --> 00:18:44,590
Does your head fill the whole hat,
449
00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:46,750
or have you paid
for more hat than you need?
450
00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:49,390
If I were you, I'd concern
myself with the charges
451
00:18:49,430 --> 00:18:50,950
levelled against me.
452
00:18:50,990 --> 00:18:53,670
And try not to be intimidated
by my manner up there.
453
00:18:53,710 --> 00:18:55,030
I'll try not to be.
454
00:18:55,070 --> 00:18:58,790
I can be a little fearsome,
especially when I hit top volume.
455
00:18:58,830 --> 00:18:59,990
Yes. Understood.
456
00:19:00,030 --> 00:19:02,390
Equally, don't be thrown by the...
457
00:19:02,430 --> 00:19:05,270
..flourishes that accompany my work.
458
00:19:06,430 --> 00:19:07,830
Dare say I'll manage.
459
00:19:07,870 --> 00:19:10,510
You do realise
you're on trial for witchery?
460
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,590
You do realise I've lived here
my whole life?
461
00:19:12,630 --> 00:19:14,110
I drink in the tavern.
462
00:19:14,150 --> 00:19:15,830
My dad used to sell meat
to everyone here.
463
00:19:15,870 --> 00:19:17,870
I'm Meaty Gooch's girl.
Meaty Gooch?
464
00:19:17,910 --> 00:19:20,150
When they find out what the
Griffins have been saying,
465
00:19:20,190 --> 00:19:21,510
you're just going to get laughed at.
466
00:19:21,550 --> 00:19:22,790
Oh Master Gideon, Master Gideon!
467
00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:24,390
You know how I've been
looking for Mr Stern?
468
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:25,990
You found him? No. Staggering.
469
00:19:26,030 --> 00:19:27,990
But his horse is still here.
470
00:19:28,030 --> 00:19:29,670
So he's still in town.
471
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,310
But "in town" is no good to us!
472
00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:33,590
He needs to be out there
bloody watching!
473
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:38,310
This is how John Stern came
into the employ of Matthew Hopkins!
474
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:41,030
Public prosecution like this
could be the making of me.
475
00:19:41,070 --> 00:19:43,550
So stand up and go and find him!
476
00:19:43,590 --> 00:19:45,510
KNOCKING
477
00:19:45,550 --> 00:19:47,910
Does that mean it's starting?
Yes! Come on, let's go.
478
00:19:47,950 --> 00:19:49,950
Head held high. Out we go.
479
00:19:49,990 --> 00:19:51,870
Oh, Mary's here! Shut up.
480
00:19:51,910 --> 00:19:53,150
Mary! Shut up!
481
00:19:53,190 --> 00:19:54,750
You are a woman of God, are you not?
482
00:19:54,790 --> 00:19:56,710
Yes.
483
00:19:56,750 --> 00:19:58,830
Testifying under oath
before the Lord?
484
00:19:58,870 --> 00:19:59,910
Yes.
485
00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:01,990
And you've seen this woman
at close quarters?
486
00:20:02,030 --> 00:20:03,030
Yes.
487
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:05,150
Formed a view of her character?
488
00:20:05,190 --> 00:20:06,270
Yes.
489
00:20:06,310 --> 00:20:09,990
Shaped, no doubt, by the
inexplicable death of your pig?
490
00:20:10,030 --> 00:20:11,190
Yes.
491
00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:14,270
Do you believe Thomasine Gooch
to be a witch?
492
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:15,430
Yes, I do.
493
00:20:15,470 --> 00:20:16,750
Yes.
494
00:20:16,790 --> 00:20:19,070
SHOUTING
"Yes, I do.
495
00:20:19,110 --> 00:20:20,470
"Yes."
496
00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:22,910
Four words...
497
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:26,190
..or two words...
498
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,430
..twice bookended by a third,
499
00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:30,950
that are truly damning.
500
00:20:30,990 --> 00:20:32,110
Thank you.
501
00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:34,630
Bit quicker.
502
00:20:35,870 --> 00:20:38,790
My name is Gideon Bannister.
Some of you may know me.
503
00:20:40,710 --> 00:20:42,870
..and I'm here today...
That's unbelievable.
504
00:20:43,990 --> 00:20:48,350
And I'm here today in the presence
of your magistrate, Mr Topcliffe,
505
00:20:48,390 --> 00:20:51,190
and I believe Mr John Stern
is with us today...
506
00:20:51,230 --> 00:20:52,390
Um...
507
00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:54,190
No, not quite yet.
508
00:20:54,230 --> 00:20:57,230
..to present the case
against Thomasine Gooch,
509
00:20:57,270 --> 00:20:59,670
who used sorcery,
510
00:20:59,710 --> 00:21:04,670
which led to the demise
of Goodwife Griffin's pig,
511
00:21:04,710 --> 00:21:08,710
cherished as it was
like a member of her own family.
512
00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:10,230
Definite likeness. Pardon me?
513
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:11,510
Nothing.
514
00:21:11,550 --> 00:21:14,190
I'm ever so sorry,
does this amuse you?
515
00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:16,230
A bit, yeah. A bit? Does it?
516
00:21:16,270 --> 00:21:18,390
Then it might amuse you to hear
that you are charged
517
00:21:18,430 --> 00:21:20,430
with the crime of maleficium,
or harm by sorcery!
518
00:21:20,470 --> 00:21:21,590
Well, which one is it?
519
00:21:22,870 --> 00:21:25,110
What? Maleficium or harm by sorcery?
520
00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:26,950
Maleficium is harm by sorcery!
521
00:21:26,990 --> 00:21:29,190
Would it not just have been easier
to say "harm by sorcery"?
522
00:21:29,230 --> 00:21:30,350
Quicker to say Maleficium.
523
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:32,710
Not if you have to explain
that it's harm by sorcery.
524
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:36,470
I wasn't to know that you
didn't know what maleficium was.
525
00:21:36,510 --> 00:21:38,990
Maybe next time
just say "harm by sorcery",
526
00:21:39,030 --> 00:21:40,830
unless you think
it sounds better in Latin.
527
00:21:40,870 --> 00:21:42,270
Up to you.
528
00:21:42,310 --> 00:21:44,630
English or Latin...
529
00:21:46,030 --> 00:21:47,590
..you made a pact with the devil.
530
00:21:47,630 --> 00:21:48,870
I'm not being funny,
531
00:21:48,910 --> 00:21:51,510
but the only ones that have
accused me of being a witch
532
00:21:51,550 --> 00:21:52,830
are the Griffins.
533
00:21:52,870 --> 00:21:54,030
Ask anyone.
534
00:21:54,070 --> 00:21:55,150
Susan!
535
00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:56,910
Susan Archibald!
536
00:21:56,950 --> 00:21:58,510
Or the Murrows.
537
00:21:58,550 --> 00:21:59,910
John Murrow! Judy Murrow!
538
00:21:59,950 --> 00:22:02,110
Ask any of them,
and they'll vouch for me.
539
00:22:02,150 --> 00:22:05,270
The Murrows described you
as "ungodly".
540
00:22:05,310 --> 00:22:06,350
What?!
541
00:22:06,390 --> 00:22:08,990
Goodwife Archibald refers to you
as a, um...
542
00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:11,710
Well, I won't say the word,
543
00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:13,230
but it becunts with the letter C.
544
00:22:13,270 --> 00:22:15,430
You people!
545
00:22:15,470 --> 00:22:17,470
My God!
546
00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:21,430
If I was a witch,
you lot would know about it!
547
00:22:21,470 --> 00:22:25,750
I'd cast a spell to put ale in
the well to liven you lot up a bit!
548
00:22:25,790 --> 00:22:28,630
Maybe get you to admit
to the ungodly stuff that you do.
549
00:22:28,670 --> 00:22:31,750
Like sneaking across the square
at 5am to get back
550
00:22:31,790 --> 00:22:33,630
into bed before your wife wakes up.
551
00:22:33,670 --> 00:22:34,750
I sleepwalk!
552
00:22:34,790 --> 00:22:37,870
Or telling your sister that her hair
looks nice piled up like that,
553
00:22:37,910 --> 00:22:40,470
when actually she looks like
she's got a pie on her head!
554
00:22:40,510 --> 00:22:42,750
All of you lot have
got something to hide,
555
00:22:42,790 --> 00:22:44,070
but no...
556
00:22:44,110 --> 00:22:45,710
..I'm the witch!
557
00:22:45,750 --> 00:22:47,870
Oh, at last a confession!
558
00:22:47,910 --> 00:22:49,670
No! No, no, no... No, I...
559
00:22:49,710 --> 00:22:52,190
I think we're still waiting
for John Stern.
560
00:22:52,230 --> 00:22:54,750
I think the case for the
prosecution rests.
561
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,870
Right now, prepare the defendant.
562
00:22:56,910 --> 00:22:58,510
JEERING AND SHOUTING
563
00:22:58,550 --> 00:23:00,230
Gideon, where are you going?!
564
00:23:00,270 --> 00:23:02,510
They're just about to announce it!
565
00:23:02,550 --> 00:23:06,790
Pointless. I'm fed up, traipsing
around to these stupid towns -
566
00:23:06,830 --> 00:23:09,470
your Snettertons and your Banhams
and your...
567
00:23:09,510 --> 00:23:12,110
Girton. Yes, Girton. Exactly!
568
00:23:12,150 --> 00:23:14,470
Poxy little towns
with stupid little cases.
569
00:23:14,510 --> 00:23:15,950
Are you hungry, Gideon?
570
00:23:15,990 --> 00:23:17,510
I'm hungry for more!
571
00:23:17,550 --> 00:23:19,470
I thought you did very well
up there.
572
00:23:19,510 --> 00:23:20,910
Very well.
573
00:23:20,950 --> 00:23:23,110
You were up all night
writing that speech.
574
00:23:23,150 --> 00:23:26,430
Yes, for John Stern to hear,
and he didn't even show up!
575
00:23:30,270 --> 00:23:32,590
Is that not him? Is that not him?!
576
00:23:35,910 --> 00:23:37,190
Mr Stern!
577
00:23:37,230 --> 00:23:38,990
So you saw the trial then?
578
00:23:39,030 --> 00:23:41,110
Sorry if you heard any of that.
579
00:23:41,150 --> 00:23:43,830
Truth be told, I've had a bit
of a fallow period,
580
00:23:43,870 --> 00:23:46,030
an annus calamitous,
if you like.
581
00:23:46,070 --> 00:23:47,350
I'm sure you've been there.
582
00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:50,990
Just saying,
I'm sure you've been there, John.
583
00:23:52,910 --> 00:23:54,470
In fact, I'll take that back.
584
00:23:54,510 --> 00:23:56,390
I'm not sure you've been there.
585
00:23:56,430 --> 00:23:59,110
In fact, I'm positive you haven't.
586
00:23:59,150 --> 00:24:01,230
And I know that you won't, John.
587
00:24:02,550 --> 00:24:04,270
Have I upset you, John?
588
00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:05,470
John?
589
00:24:06,990 --> 00:24:08,350
Oh, God!
590
00:24:08,390 --> 00:24:10,830
I think you've hurt yourself
a little bit, John.
591
00:24:10,870 --> 00:24:13,030
There are one or two flies
just near your mouth.
592
00:24:13,070 --> 00:24:14,470
Yup. One's gone in.
593
00:24:14,510 --> 00:24:16,190
It's gone into your mouth, John.
Gideon...
594
00:24:16,230 --> 00:24:18,470
It was on your lip, and then
it's just marched into your mouth,
595
00:24:18,510 --> 00:24:19,590
bold as brass.
596
00:24:19,630 --> 00:24:22,230
Gideon. Don't inhale, John.
Gideon, he's dead!
597
00:24:22,270 --> 00:24:23,990
He must have drunk all the ale,
598
00:24:24,030 --> 00:24:26,750
come in, slipped on the straw,
and then impaled himself on that...
599
00:24:26,790 --> 00:24:28,350
Oh, that metal thingy.
600
00:24:28,390 --> 00:24:32,070
What an idiot. What an idiot!
Showing off, probably!
601
00:24:32,110 --> 00:24:34,750
Well, someone's going to have
to tell the Witchfinder General
602
00:24:34,790 --> 00:24:36,670
he's going to need a new
right hand man.
603
00:24:36,710 --> 00:24:40,630
I mean, yes, although goodness knows
where Matthew Hopkins is.
604
00:24:40,670 --> 00:24:42,590
He's not an easy man to pin down.
605
00:24:42,630 --> 00:24:45,590
Well, it says here Mr Stern
is going to meet him in Chelmsford
606
00:24:45,630 --> 00:24:48,310
on Friday for a big
showpiece witch trial.
607
00:24:48,350 --> 00:24:49,510
Shame you're here.
608
00:24:49,550 --> 00:24:52,070
Well, there won't be a shortage
of qualified witchfinders
609
00:24:52,110 --> 00:24:53,190
far closer to hand.
610
00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:56,270
Yeah, but then again, they don't
know that Mr Stern's dead, do they?
611
00:24:56,310 --> 00:24:59,190
Or that Mr Hopkins
is headed for Chelmsford.
612
00:24:59,230 --> 00:25:01,230
You'd have been able
to break the news.
613
00:25:01,270 --> 00:25:03,150
You'd have been the first
witchfinder on the spot,
614
00:25:03,190 --> 00:25:05,310
with the witch
who killed his friend.
615
00:25:05,350 --> 00:25:07,190
I thought you said
he slipped on the hay.
616
00:25:07,230 --> 00:25:09,270
You told me,
617
00:25:09,310 --> 00:25:11,710
witches make puppets...
618
00:25:11,750 --> 00:25:13,990
..of the people
they want to bewitch!
619
00:25:14,030 --> 00:25:17,950
She made this to put a hex on him.
Look.
620
00:25:17,990 --> 00:25:21,350
I found it in her house.
It's a shame the trial's done.
621
00:25:21,390 --> 00:25:23,390
I don't think they'd take
too kindly to you
622
00:25:23,430 --> 00:25:26,590
whisking that witch away - they're
going to want to see her burn!
623
00:25:28,790 --> 00:25:29,950
Gideon?
624
00:25:31,350 --> 00:25:33,990
SHOUTING AND JEERING
Topcliffe!
625
00:25:34,030 --> 00:25:35,710
Magistrate Topcliffe!
626
00:25:37,190 --> 00:25:39,790
Excuse me, excuse me!
627
00:25:41,670 --> 00:25:44,230
Magistrate Topcliffe,
I need the suspect! What?!
628
00:25:44,270 --> 00:25:45,870
I've got to take the suspect!
629
00:25:45,910 --> 00:25:47,710
Why?! I've got a letter!
630
00:25:47,750 --> 00:25:49,310
What letter? This one!
631
00:25:49,350 --> 00:25:51,430
CROWD FALLS SILENT
632
00:25:51,470 --> 00:25:52,870
Received it just now.
633
00:25:54,110 --> 00:25:56,670
It's from the Court of Assizes
saying,
634
00:25:56,710 --> 00:25:58,670
and this is bloody annoying,
635
00:25:58,710 --> 00:26:02,510
I need to take the suspect there
636
00:26:02,550 --> 00:26:03,870
to have a trial there.
637
00:26:03,910 --> 00:26:05,430
What? No, no!
638
00:26:06,950 --> 00:26:09,070
The worst of it, I need
to take her immediately.
639
00:26:09,110 --> 00:26:10,590
What does it say?
640
00:26:10,630 --> 00:26:13,670
Actually, yeah.
Let's hear the letter.
641
00:26:13,710 --> 00:26:15,430
You want me to read the letter?
642
00:26:15,470 --> 00:26:16,510
Yes!
643
00:26:16,550 --> 00:26:17,870
Read it!
644
00:26:19,070 --> 00:26:20,790
I'll happily read the letter.
645
00:26:23,390 --> 00:26:24,670
It says...
646
00:26:24,710 --> 00:26:26,950
.."To Mr Bannister."
647
00:26:26,990 --> 00:26:28,750
Pardon me, a bit of phlegm.
648
00:26:29,910 --> 00:26:33,550
"You shall immediately please
transport the defendant,
649
00:26:33,590 --> 00:26:35,710
"Thomasine..."
650
00:26:35,750 --> 00:26:36,990
Gooch. Gooch.
651
00:26:37,030 --> 00:26:39,230
Which is what it says here
in black and white.
652
00:26:39,270 --> 00:26:41,230
"..to the Court of Assizes,
653
00:26:41,270 --> 00:26:45,150
"where she will be tried...by
a judge..."
654
00:26:46,590 --> 00:26:47,750
Obviously.
655
00:26:47,790 --> 00:26:52,270
"..that we may more swiftly
expunge the
656
00:26:52,310 --> 00:26:54,310
"pernicious shadow of witchery
657
00:26:54,350 --> 00:26:57,470
"that looms long
over this large land..."
658
00:26:59,070 --> 00:27:02,630
Which I thought was rather florid,
but still quite nicely phrased.
659
00:27:02,670 --> 00:27:06,550
All of the Ls -
"looms", "long", "large".
660
00:27:06,590 --> 00:27:08,790
You know what makes it florid?
661
00:27:08,830 --> 00:27:10,550
"Yours..." Wrapping it up now.
662
00:27:10,590 --> 00:27:18,070
"..the Master of the Rolls
and Lord Chancellor of the...Bar."
663
00:27:19,910 --> 00:27:21,110
There's your letter.
664
00:27:21,150 --> 00:27:22,950
I don't have any questions,
665
00:27:22,990 --> 00:27:24,550
unless you guys do?
666
00:27:24,590 --> 00:27:27,470
CROWD SHOUTS ANGRILY
79781
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