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1
00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:07,120
Okay. So, is everyone ready...
2
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,760
for our big trip to
the University of Wisconsin?
3
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:13,680
Yeah, Donna and I have it all mapped out.
She is going to buy a tight sweater...
4
00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:16,800
with a big, red "W" on it,
and I am going to watch her wear it.
5
00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:19,000
(Laughs)
6
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,560
And then we're gonna buckle down.
7
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:26,240
Oh, Steven, I put out some clean clothes
for you to take on the trip.
8
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,640
Uh, thanks, Mrs. Forman,
but I'm not really the college type.
9
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,560
I get my learnin' on the street.
10
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:35,160
Steven, you're a smart kid.
If you would only just apply yourself...
11
00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:39,120
- you could go to college too.
- You don't trust me alone in the house, do you?
12
00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:41,280
See how smart you are?
13
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,520
Well, I just can't believe
my baby is...
14
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,160
all grown up and...
visiting college!
15
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,800
I am so freakin' old!
16
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:56,880
And menopause makes another unwelcome
appearance at the dinner table.
17
00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:00,600
Oh, no, it's not unwelcome.
It's- It's liberating.
18
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:03,280
Now my emotions just spill out.
19
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:07,080
Yeah, Mom. You're sweating
all over your pork chop.
20
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,680
Hey! There's my favorite coed.
21
00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,200
- Hey, are you all packed for Visitors Weekend?
- I can't go.
22
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,280
My dad's makin' me visit
Marquette instead.
23
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:17,400
He thinks it's a better school,
'cause it's private.
24
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:19,560
Oh, and 'cause it sounds French.
25
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,560
Well, you know what?
26
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,680
We'll just go with you.
I mean, if it's a better school...
27
00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,640
then I belong there too, right, Dad?
28
00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,160
No.
29
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:34,240
State schools are cheap.
That's where you belong.
30
00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:37,360
Well, what if, like, you took out
a second mortgage on the house?
31
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,200
(Both Laughing)
32
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,960
Not for you, dumb-ass.
33
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,680
(Rock Group Singing)
34
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,360
(Ends)
35
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:16,280
Hello, Wisconsin!
36
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:24,180
(Sighs)
I have a bad feeling about this weekend, Eric.
37
00:02:24,260 --> 00:02:27,220
Nothing good can come from us
visiting different schools.
38
00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:29,620
Well, yeah, but there's an upside.
39
00:02:29,660 --> 00:02:31,580
Two days apart? I mean,
when we get together...
40
00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:33,540
it's gonna be electric, baby!
41
00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:38,420
Like a thunderstorm.
42
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:40,380
Eric, I'm serious!
43
00:02:40,420 --> 00:02:42,860
I mean, what if we actually end
up going to different colleges?
44
00:02:42,940 --> 00:02:45,300
And we're apart for four years?
45
00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:49,020
Then, come semester break, you
better board up your windows.
46
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:52,380
'Cause guess what?
Here comes Hurricane Eric.
47
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:57,100
Board up my windows?
What are my windows?
48
00:02:57,180 --> 00:03:00,940
- And whatever they are,
wouldn't you want them open?
- Hmm.
49
00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:04,540
Look, Donna. All I'm saying is that
I think we can get through anything.
50
00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:06,500
We go to different schools
now, and we're fine...
51
00:03:06,580 --> 00:03:10,180
because our love is strong.
52
00:03:10,260 --> 00:03:13,140
Like a big, burly bear.
53
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,740
So zip up your tent,
'cause guess what.
54
00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:19,340
This bear has claws.
55
00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:22,420
- Again, wouldn't you want my tent open?
- Mmm.
56
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:30,220
Hold it, you two.
Now, before we hit the road...
57
00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:33,860
we need to have a talk about that
horrible thing that's taken over your mother.
58
00:03:34,940 --> 00:03:39,100
You mean, her "change of life"?
59
00:03:39,180 --> 00:03:41,980
Thought we were calling it
"the lady-parts problem."
60
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:46,940
It goes by many names.
61
00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:49,460
Now, we're dealing
with a tricky enemy here.
62
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:52,980
I haven't been
this frosty since Korea.
63
00:03:53,020 --> 00:03:55,140
And just like a commie...
64
00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:59,420
it can jump out
and attack you at any moment.
65
00:03:59,460 --> 00:04:01,340
- (Kitty) Red, honey!
- Incoming!
66
00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:03,540
(Eric)
Retreat!
67
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:11,060
Red, um, you know,
I've been a tad bit moody lately.
68
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,860
(Chuckles)
So, um...
69
00:04:13,940 --> 00:04:16,060
if you don't want me to
go on this trip, I'll understand.
70
00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:19,260
Well, you know, honey,
there's really no need for you to go.
71
00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:21,900
I knew you didn't want me to go!
72
00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:27,420
Well, I am going,
whether you like it or not.
73
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:31,580
Why is it so damn hot in here?
74
00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:35,460
It's like it's-
It's like we're living in hell!
75
00:04:36,660 --> 00:04:39,420
You can say that again.
76
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:44,580
So, Steven? When I go to Marquette
with Donna this weekend...
77
00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:46,980
there'll be lots
of cute boys around.
78
00:04:47,060 --> 00:04:49,180
Lucky you.
79
00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:53,180
Well, unlucky them,
because I won't let them kiss me.
80
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:56,420
Yeah, that's my promise to you.
81
00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:01,780
Now, I'm not saying you have
to promise me anything.
82
00:05:01,820 --> 00:05:04,820
But if you want to,
now would be a good time.
83
00:05:08,380 --> 00:05:10,900
Okay, well, just know...
84
00:05:11,940 --> 00:05:14,100
that I won't be kissing anyone.
85
00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:16,420
Good to know.
86
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:19,580
"Good to know"?
That's it?
87
00:05:19,660 --> 00:05:22,740
Did I stutter?
88
00:05:22,820 --> 00:05:25,500
Oh, thanks for the help.
89
00:05:25,580 --> 00:05:29,860
You seem to have a natural talent
for handling luggage.
90
00:05:35,980 --> 00:05:40,140
Red? Honey. You know,
I'm sorry about our little spat.
91
00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:44,260
- The last thing I want to do is ruin our trip.
- Oh, sweetheart, that's okay.
92
00:05:44,340 --> 00:05:46,260
- (Laughing)
- (Chuckling)
93
00:05:47,620 --> 00:05:50,700
- Wow, Mom certainly cheered up.
- Don't be fooled.
94
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,580
She's a ticking time bomb.
95
00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:59,380
Hey! Wait up!
96
00:05:59,420 --> 00:06:02,260
What do you want?
97
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:04,980
The explanation's
pinned to my lapel.
98
00:06:11,140 --> 00:06:15,820
"Dear Red. Mr. Kelso and I are unable
to take Michael to U.W.
99
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:18,620
Here's $30 so he can go with you."
100
00:06:21,660 --> 00:06:25,340
- Where's the 30 bucks?
- Oh, I bought this "electronical" football game.
101
00:06:27,460 --> 00:06:29,860
I swear to God, Kelso!
102
00:06:29,940 --> 00:06:32,700
You make Eric look like Einstein.
103
00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:36,820
Thank you, Daddy.
104
00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:40,260
"Thank you"?
Einstein was ugly.
105
00:06:45,340 --> 00:06:47,700
Oh! It's like a sauna in here.
106
00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:49,900
Wish you didn't all
have to breathe so much.
107
00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:53,260
All right, guys. You heard the lady.
No more breathing!
108
00:06:53,340 --> 00:06:56,820
No, I didn't tell you not to breathe,
I asked you not to breathe as much.
109
00:06:56,860 --> 00:06:58,900
There's a difference!
110
00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:02,740
(Softly)
To crazy people.
111
00:07:02,820 --> 00:07:06,140
Hey, Ali Baba.
Close sesame.
112
00:07:07,380 --> 00:07:09,900
- Oh! Red! You just missed the exit.
- Oh, damn it!
113
00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:14,580
Eric, you're supposed to be following the map.
What the hell are you doing back there?
114
00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:16,820
Makin' you a crown?
115
00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:19,220
'Cause you're "King of the Road"!
116
00:07:21,220 --> 00:07:23,220
- I need to use the bathroom.
- Can you turn up the radio?
117
00:07:23,260 --> 00:07:25,140
- First and goal!
- How much further?
118
00:07:25,180 --> 00:07:27,060
- (Electronic Game Warbles)
- Touchdown!
119
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:29,260
Would you all just shut up?
120
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:34,020
(Sighs)
This is stupid.
121
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:37,580
I mean, why am I looking at a school
I don't even want to go to?
122
00:07:37,660 --> 00:07:39,980
(Sighs)
Should've gone to U.W. with Eric.
123
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:43,300
And I should've laughed
at his thunderstorm jokes.
124
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,060
You know, I bet those sluts
at U.W. will laugh at them.
125
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,380
Sluts!
126
00:07:49,460 --> 00:07:51,900
What, U.W. has sluts?
127
00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:54,020
Steven loves sluts!
128
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:56,620
He's not gonna do anything.
He's with you now.
129
00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:58,860
I don't know if he is or not.
130
00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:01,780
I mean, look. Last week,
he called me his girlfriend.
131
00:08:01,860 --> 00:08:04,300
And then this week,
I couldn't even trick him into promising me...
132
00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:06,580
he wouldn't fool around
with someone else.
133
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:09,500
And I was very passive-aggressive.
134
00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:12,020
I believe that.
135
00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:14,180
Donna, I promised to be faithful.
136
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:16,180
And all he said was, "Good to know."
137
00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:18,420
"Good to know," Donna!
138
00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:21,180
You know, I am too depressed
to go to orientation with you.
139
00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:24,540
Steven crushed my spirit, and now
there's only one place I can turn to.
140
00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:27,900
Please, God, don't let it be me.
141
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:31,940
No. The cheerleading demonstration.
142
00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:35,100
I mean, at first, when they yell,
"We've got spirit, how 'bout you?"
143
00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:37,340
Well, of course,
I'll have to say no!
144
00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:41,380
But- But show me a human pyramid
and a really sharp pom-pom waterfall...
145
00:08:41,460 --> 00:08:43,300
and I'll get it back.
146
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:50,100
(House P.A.: Rock)
147
00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:54,260
What the hell kind
of college is this?
148
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,340
Barefoot hippies playin' Frisbee...
149
00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:59,260
barefoot hippies
singin' songs to trees-
150
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:03,260
Man, this place is awesome!
151
00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:07,220
Look, they even have
dirty cartoons on the wall.
152
00:09:10,780 --> 00:09:13,820
Kelso, those are
C.P.R. instructions.
153
00:09:14,940 --> 00:09:17,260
(Chuckles)
Wow, I've done C.P.R. a lot.
154
00:09:19,460 --> 00:09:22,060
Hi. I'm Ted, resident adviser.
155
00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:24,940
- Hi.
- Why don't you folks have a look around...
156
00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:27,860
and I'll show the boys
where they're gonna be staying.
157
00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:31,740
I don't know about this place.
158
00:09:31,820 --> 00:09:36,820
I'll say. It's the middle of November.
I don't see any Thanksgiving decorations.
159
00:09:37,940 --> 00:09:39,780
Visitors Weekend is great.
160
00:09:39,860 --> 00:09:42,460
We always have a big dorm party,
tons of beer, tons of chicks.
161
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:45,620
Hey, I just need one six-pack
and two chicks, and I'm good.
162
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:50,780
Man, this place is great!
It's too bad Donna couldn't make it.
163
00:09:50,860 --> 00:09:53,420
Oh, my God, would you look at that?
164
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:56,820
We just saw college butt!
165
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:59,260
On a girl!
166
00:10:01,980 --> 00:10:05,460
- Hold it. Girls live here too?
- Yes, sir. We're coed.
167
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:08,300
- (Clamoring)
- (Kelso) Oh, nice!
168
00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:11,100
That's it! You're staying
with us at the motel.
169
00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:13,260
Wait! Dad, wait.
170
00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:16,500
Think of what a valuable experience
this could be for me.
171
00:10:16,580 --> 00:10:19,300
I mean, this is my first step into
the real world.
172
00:10:19,380 --> 00:10:23,100
(Sighs)
I'm your little bird, Dad.
173
00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:25,220
Give me wings to fly!
174
00:10:29,020 --> 00:10:31,340
Butch it up and get in the car.
175
00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:36,820
Excuse me.
This is your C.P.R. coach.
176
00:10:38,620 --> 00:10:42,260
I'm gonna need to check
your lung capacities! (Laughing)
177
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:44,220
That means their boobs.
178
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,240
(Game Beeping, Chirping)
179
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:04,080
There's got to be at least
one all-male dormitory on this campus.
180
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,800
Ha! Here it is.
181
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:12,240
Right in between the chapel
and the School of Interior Design.
182
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,880
(Clicks Tongue)
Boys, um-
183
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,080
um, I realize that, uh...
184
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:26,000
I may have been
a little irrational today.
185
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,560
- A little?
- (Screams) Shut up!
186
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:39,800
So, um, maybe now
is a good time for me to...
187
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:43,640
explain a few things
to you about menopause.
188
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:51,280
And, um, lucky for you, I'm a nurse,
so I can use the proper terms, like...
189
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,560
- "epithelial lining" and "uterine wall."
- (Eric Groans)
190
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,640
I'm hooked.
191
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,520
Okay, so. Um, now.
192
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:07,840
Say these soaps are my ovaries.
193
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:12,160
Kill me now.
194
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,920
Can't hear ya, man.
I'm on a beach in Florida.
195
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,840
Okay, um, about a month ago...
196
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,960
- they stopped producing-
- (Game Beeping)
197
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,760
- they stopped-
- (Beeping)
198
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,760
- stopped producing-
- (Chirping)
199
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,440
That's it!
200
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,400
(Crashing)
201
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:42,440
What is wrong with you?
Were you dropped on your head?
202
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,240
Yes, I was!
203
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:53,920
And up until now, everyone had
the good grace not to mention it.
204
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,720
- Okay, boys. Time to leave.
- Yes!
205
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,880
Mrs. Forman? I'm sorry.
I washed my face with your ovaries.
206
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:21,080
Get out.
207
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:30,800
So that's a great beard.
I've never made out with a guy with a beard.
208
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,640
Well, this could be your lucky day.
209
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,040
- You want to go to my room?
- Absolutely.
210
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,640
You know what?
I-I can't.
211
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,400
Okay. But if you change your mind,
a few of us girls will be in the shower.
212
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,280
I can go!
213
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:55,320
My name is Fez!
214
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,840
Don't pretend you don't see me!
215
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,160
Man, what the hell did I just do?
216
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,120
I just turned down a sure thing
because ofJackie.
217
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,560
And you don't know what
she's doin' at Marquette.
218
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,680
Or who.
219
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,440
Man, she said
she wouldn't do anything.
220
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:17,000
Yeah, but I bet if she did,
you'd cry because you love her.
221
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:20,680
If you don't shut up, you'll be the first person
to touch his chin to his ass.
222
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:24,160
Have you been spying on me?
223
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:27,560
I see U.W. has a pretty good
C.P.R. program.
224
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,040
It's gonna be my major.
225
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,520
So, I told my girlfriend,
"We can go to separate schools."
226
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,040
- I mean, people do that all the time, right?
- Yeah.
227
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,960
My boyfriend goes to school in New York,
and we've been together for three years.
228
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,200
- And we're in love now more than ever.
- Of course you are.
229
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:51,120
And I bet when you two get together,
it's like a thunderstorm, right?
230
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:55,240
Hey, pretty lady.
231
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,720
Hey, excuse me. Hello?
232
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,560
- Didn't you just say you had a boyfriend?
- Yeah. But he's not here.
233
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:12,080
Did you just see that? I told Donna
we could go to different schools...
234
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:15,080
and I was
extremely wrong, and-
235
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,800
Man, if she doesn't hate
Marquette, we're screwed.
236
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,320
Who cares, man? I just turned down
a half-drunk college girl.
237
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,000
I'm pretty sure
she knew how to do stuff.
238
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,480
Eric? Is everything okay?
239
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:35,160
Yeah. Everything's fine. I just wanted
to see how you liked Marquette.
240
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:38,560
And, can I just say, if that
snooty switchboard operator's attitude...
241
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,720
is any indication of
the Marquette experience, then-
242
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:44,040
(Chuckles) I can only assume we're
crossing Marquette off the list right now.
243
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,320
No, actually, it's great.
244
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,240
Okay, they have this
English professor.
245
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:52,520
He wears a beret and a corduroy jacket,
but he listens to Zeppelin!
246
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,720
Uh, yeah, well, U.W. has
a vending machine, so- (Scoffing)
247
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,920
- Donna, I love you.
- I love you too. Bye.
248
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,040
(TV Show Theme)
249
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,920
(Sobbing)
250
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,360
You gonna cry now too?
251
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:18,200
You know who had a real family?
The Waltons.
252
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:22,400
We're just three strangers
sitting in a room!
253
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,360
- (Door Closes)
- Donna loves it there.
254
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,840
I don't know what to do.
255
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,840
There's nothing any of us can do.
256
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,800
We're all screwed.
257
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,320
You think I like being stuck here...
258
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:41,240
nursing my lunatic wife
back from the brink?
259
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,240
Hell, no.
260
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:46,520
But we can't control
what happens to us.
261
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:51,880
Even if, by some stroke of luck,
you actually hang on to Donna...
262
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,760
eventually, she's gonna
turn into that.
263
00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,360
And then,
a few years later, you'll die.
264
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:07,040
Good. Thanks for the bedtime story.
265
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,200
Donna? I hate it here,
and I want to go home.
266
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:18,600
Wait, what's wrong? Was there a
height requirement for the cheerleading team?
267
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:22,520
No, it was awful! And when the cheerleaders
were yelling, "Go, team, go"...
268
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:27,840
all I was hearing was Steven saying,
"Good to know. Good to know!"
269
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:32,120
Jackie, your problem is, is you're always
trying to force people into doing stuff.
270
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:36,600
Oh! I do not, Donna.
Now, you feel sorry for me right now.
271
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,960
You can't make someone
like Hyde do anything.
272
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,120
You have to deal with him
the way he deals with you.
273
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,080
Look, pretend you don't care what he does,
and he'll come around.
274
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,600
Well, I guess it's worth a try.
275
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,200
You know, being with
a real man is complicated.
276
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,480
You are so lucky you're with Eric.
277
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,280
What?
278
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,720
What a wonderful weekend!
279
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,240
We should go away more often!
280
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,360
They gotta make a pill for this.
281
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,800
Oh, Hyde, I've been
meaning to tell you.
282
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,080
(Singsongy)
Hyde and Jackie, sitting in a tree.
283
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:21,320
They're in love like two monkeys.
(Laughing)
284
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,320
Would you shut up, Fez?
That's not even how it goes.
285
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:28,000
- Well, is it making you mad?
- Yes.
286
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,440
- Well, then, that's how it goes.
- (Clinks)
287
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,040
- Hey.
- Hey.
288
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,800
Look, Jackie. I know
you were worried before...
289
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,120
so, I just want to let you know...
290
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,520
nothin' happened
on my end this weekend.
291
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:51,080
I'm not tellin' you that so you'll
tell me what you did.
292
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,560
I just want to let you know
what happened with me.
293
00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:00,360
That's my report to you.
294
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,440
All right.
Good to know.
295
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,080
- "Good to know"?
- D-Did I stutter?
296
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,160
- Hi.
- Okay.
297
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,520
I know you love Marquette,
and I made my peace with that.
298
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,280
So if that means we're gonna go
to separate schools and drift apart...
299
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,960
and make out with guys
named Ted, then-
300
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,440
That's just the way it's gonna be,
because you're gonna get menopause...
301
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:35,120
and I'm gonna die, and we can't control
anything that happens to us!
302
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,560
- I'm not going to Marquette.
- Well, then never mind.
303
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,640
I mean, Eric-
304
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,200
I loved it, and when
I was driving home...
305
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,320
I was so excited
to tell you about it...
306
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,520
and then the drive took forever.
307
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:55,240
And I realized, that's how far away
I'd be from you all the time.
308
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,560
And I don't want that.
309
00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,880
So I'll just tell my dad
I want to go to U.W. with you.
310
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,800
Donna, you have no idea...
311
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,720
- how happy you just made me.
- (Laughs)
312
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:09,000
Eric, this is gonna be great!
We're gonna be together all the time.
313
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,000
Oh, um-
(Clicks Tongue)
314
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,600
- you're not gonna get all clingy, right?
- (Laughs)
315
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,600
- Shut up.
- Now, come on. I'm gonna be a big college man.
316
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,640
- Uh-huh.
- I'm gonna need my space.
317
00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:27,620
What do you want?
318
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,940
Once again, the explanation
is pinned to my lapel.
319
00:20:32,260 --> 00:20:35,380
"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Forman.
Please give Michael $30...
320
00:20:35,460 --> 00:20:38,180
"for the game you threw out
the window and broke.
321
00:20:39,340 --> 00:20:41,460
Signed, my parents."
322
00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,780
(Laughs)
323
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,060
Well, you made her laugh.
That's worth 30 bucks.
26216
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