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1
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,840
All good things must come to an end.
2
00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:10,720
Gentlemen, I have been sacked!
3
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,160
Why did they get rid of you?
I don't know.
4
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,520
They've never spent any money
on this show.
5
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,640
Now they're spending a fortune
just to get rid of you.
6
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,120
Scene 14, farewell to Meg.
7
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,640
Nolly!
You idiot.
8
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,840
It's Noele Gordon
leaving behind her tatty old soap
9
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,720
and becoming the star
she always was.
10
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,480
Do you think I'd let those bastards
stop me? I've got plans!
11
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,280
JIMMY TARBUCK:
He's got no magic powers,
12
00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:36,640
he just can't get out of the bath.
LAUGHTER
13
00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,840
And the winner is...
14
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,400
it's no surprise,
I give you, ladies and gentlemen,
15
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,360
Miss Noele Gordon!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,880
Well done, Nolly.
Bless you, sweetheart.
17
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,480
The inaugural member
of the TV Times Hall Of Fame!
18
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,760
Now, they invented this award
to get Nolly out of the way,
19
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,960
cos she keeps winning
Best Actress every year!
20
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,360
You're a very naughty man, Jimmy.
21
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,920
I'm sure that's not true.
22
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:20,280
SHE CHUCKLES
But, erm, still...
23
00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:24,080
if I'm stepping aside,
then maybe one of my dear friends
24
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,760
from the cast of Coronation Street
might win.
25
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,880
AUDIENCE: Oooh...!
At last.
26
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,320
If they're lucky.
27
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,200
Coronation Street, everyone.
28
00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,560
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,240
Morning, Nolls. All right, love?
Fine. Yes.
30
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,280
Good morning, everyone.
31
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,640
Two, three, and one.
32
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,040
One, two, three. Again.
33
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,480
One, two, three.
34
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,280
One more.
35
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,360
And reach.
36
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,600
One, two, three,
and onto the floor.
37
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,200
And legs. Right, then.
38
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,640
Over, one, two, three, four.
39
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,240
And one, two...
40
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,440
AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR:
..seven, eight, take it up.
41
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:36,960
And one.
42
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,560
And two.
43
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:39,920
Three.
44
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,360
And four. Keep it slow.
45
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,960
One, two, three, four,
46
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,480
five and six.
Ooph!
47
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,320
One, two,
48
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,040
three, four, five,
49
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,720
six, seven, eight,
50
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,520
Don't give up, girls. Let's go.
Two...
51
00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,600
Oh, it's good. It's very good.
I'm excited.
52
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:04,000
I mean, Gypsy is one of
the greatest shows in the world.
53
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,120
Roger's a delight.
54
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:09,480
Fiona's a miracle. She's going
to take a lot of people by surprise.
55
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,800
And, er, it's lavish.
The sets are astonishing.
56
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,560
How big's the orchestra?
14.
57
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:15,760
Wow!
58
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,040
In Leicester?
59
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,800
Top notch.
Mm.
60
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:22,240
And the company, it's very sweet.
I'm the mother hen.
61
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,280
You were born to be adored
by the male chorus.
62
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,800
And I include myself.
63
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,600
How's the show?
Good. Fine, I think.
64
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,520
Adam's got religion.
65
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,760
Which amounts to me wandering around
in a mac.
66
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,400
Hm.
Do you ever...?
67
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,920
Do you still watch?
No. Far too busy.
68
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,000
Mm.
69
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:46,480
CROSSROADS THEME TUNE PLAYS
70
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:47,800
How are the ratings?
71
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,320
Going down.
72
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,160
All the talk...
73
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,480
is about transferring
to the West End.
74
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,080
That's all we hear, all day long.
75
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,960
Which theatre?
The Adelphi.
76
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,800
But the point is,
if we don't transfer,
77
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,160
I'll have failed.
Not the show. Me.
78
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,680
I don't think that's fair.
That's what people are waiting for.
79
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,520
The story writes itself.
80
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:13,000
"TV star sacked,
goes on stage, dies."
81
00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:16,040
They're in for a surprise, then.
Because I can't shake it off.
82
00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:17,440
"What happened?"
83
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,240
Every sodding day,
I get asked the same question...
84
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:21,840
Why did they get rid of you, Nolly?
85
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,800
But why did Crossroads sack you?
86
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:26,440
I don't understand it.
Why on earth were you sacked?
87
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,960
Oh, and here it comes again.
88
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,640
I'm sorry, I hope
I'm not interrupting your meal,
89
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,800
but my mother's such a fan.
90
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,120
Do you think...?
Could I have your autograph?
91
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,000
Of course, darling.
92
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,200
Any second now.
And what's your mother's name?
93
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,400
Alice.
"To Alice."
94
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:50,080
Three, two, one...
95
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:53,280
I hope you don't mind my asking,
but why did they get rid of you?
96
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:56,240
I don't know, dear.
I do not know.
97
00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:58,000
I don't know, all right?
98
00:04:58,040 --> 00:04:59,360
Sorry.
99
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,920
Mind you, why did they?
100
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,560
I still think there's something
we've not been told.
101
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:11,560
Oh, and do you know what they're
saying about me in Leicester?
102
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,920
GIGGLING
103
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,160
STIFLED LAUGHTER
104
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,080
TONY:
I mean, if it's any consolation,
105
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,920
people often think I'm a lesbian,
too.
106
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,800
It's my walk.
107
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:23,760
I like a heavy boot.
Yes, madam?
108
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,840
Yes, erm, do you see the lady
in the blue dress?
109
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:27,240
I'll pay her bill.
110
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:29,360
Sure, madam.
Thank you.
111
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,520
Oh, not the wine.
No problem.
112
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:32,760
No.
113
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,520
But the pressure is on me,
and it's on me alone.
114
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:36,920
My first entrance,
115
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:40,440
he's got me coming in
from the back of the auditorium.
116
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,720
Oh, very modern.
They've all seen Cats.
117
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,240
Mm.
Roger keeps on saying...
118
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,960
Nolly, you come in from there,
119
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,320
and the entire audience
will be amazed.
120
00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:53,400
But the entire audience
will be facing the wrong way.
121
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,000
And you'll surprise them.
122
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,440
Gloriously!
123
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,680
Cora, you open the door.
And, Nolly, you say the line.
124
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,360
AMERICAN ACCENT:
Sing out, Louise. Sing out!
125
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,520
Bigger.
126
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,720
Sing out, Louise. Sing out!
127
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:13,640
Even bigger!
128
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,760
Sing out, Louise! Sing out!
129
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,240
Bigger, Nolly.
130
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:21,040
Fill the space,
make everyone turn around.
131
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,280
Sing out, Louise! Sing out!
132
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,640
Sing out, Louise! Sing out!
133
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,160
Sing out, Louise! Sing out!
134
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,160
He keeps on saying,
"Bigger, and bigger, and bigger."
135
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:33,440
And I can't.
136
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,400
I don't just want people
turning their heads.
137
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,360
I want them to burst into applause.
138
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,960
I want this whole theatre
to see Miss Noele Gordon
139
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,720
bring the house down!
140
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,080
It sounds rather marvellous.
Yeah, but don't you see, I can't?
141
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,200
I don't think I can do it.
The place will erupt!
142
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,720
Just listen to me for a second!
I didn't bring you here
143
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:54,120
to tell me that
everything's going to be all right.
144
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,800
I am saying
no-one is going to clap,
145
00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:58,360
because I can't do it.
146
00:06:58,400 --> 00:06:59,960
This part is a monster.
147
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,240
She is a legend.
She is a major piece of work.
148
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,480
And I'm not good enough!
149
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,600
OK.
150
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,080
Sorry.
151
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,920
SHE SIGHS HEAVILY
152
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,920
Rose has been played
by Ethel Merman, for God's sake.
153
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,360
Angela Lansbury.
154
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,440
I'm someone who's wasted their time
in a motel for 18 years.
155
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:40,840
The most exciting thing I had to do
was sack the chef.
156
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:42,320
Mm.
157
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,120
And I shouldn't smoke.
158
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,000
I can't do it, Tony.
159
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,480
I can't.
160
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,320
You can see it in their faces.
161
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,640
"That woman off TV."
162
00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,280
NOLLY: # Well, someone tell me
When is it my turn?
163
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,800
# Don't I get a dream for myself
164
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,160
# Startin' now
It's gonna be my turn
165
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,920
# Gangway, world
Get off of my runway
166
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,480
# Startin' now, I bat a thousand
167
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:15,040
# This time, boys
I'm takin' the bows and...
168
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:18,120
# Everything's coming up Rose
169
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:24,440
# Everything's coming up roses
170
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:28,040
# Everything's coming up roses
171
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,960
# This time for me... #
172
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,160
And it's huge, The Haymarket.
173
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,600
It's huge.
174
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,160
One thousand seats.
175
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,720
Watching me fail.
176
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:40,920
Have you said any of this?
Hm?
177
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,240
Have you tried talking to them?
SHE SCOFFS
178
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,200
It's a long time since
you've been in proper rehearsals.
179
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,360
All they do is talk.
180
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,880
I love it!
I love every second of it!
181
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,720
And I'll be damned if you're
going to take it away from me!
182
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,120
I am Gypsy Rose Lee.
183
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,680
I love her. And if you don't,
you can clear out now!
184
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,760
But do you think she's sad as well?
Oh, yes, she's very sad.
185
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,040
I mean, she's proud
and she's angry,
186
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,120
but she's still very sad.
187
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,520
Don't you think, Nolly?
Hm?
188
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,680
Yes.
189
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,440
I can't help thinking of myself
when I was just starting out.
190
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,840
'And then off we go.'
191
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,040
Nonstop!
192
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,720
FIONA:
That's what I felt when I was 18.
193
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,800
I thought,
"If men just see me as pretty,
194
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,960
"then, OK, I'll be pretty,
but I'll be clever as well."
195
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,080
I thought, "You just watch me."
196
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,080
That's why this show
says so much to me.
197
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:35,160
It's all about taking control
of your body.
198
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,800
I think it's sad, for Rose.
199
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,680
She's missed her chance.
200
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,320
You've had things
taken away from you, Nolly.
201
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,840
You've been robbed of opportunities,
don't you think?
202
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,440
I think...
203
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,280
..it's all in the script.
204
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,840
But it's 1933,
and you were there, Nolly.
205
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,400
You were on stage in 1933.
206
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,560
You've actually survived it.
207
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,840
I'm just asking you how.
Well, does it matter?
208
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,840
But Momma Rose loves Herbie,
209
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,200
and you must've had someone
who you loved...
210
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,680
..once, didn't you?
211
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,920
Everything we need is on the page.
Shall we just get on with it?
212
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:18,760
OK.
213
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,040
From the top.
214
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,200
If you want my opinion...
215
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,600
..I think you're a coward.
And a baby.
216
00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:38,080
And a bore.
217
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:39,560
And, yes, you're absolutely right,
218
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,880
you've waded through shit dialogue
for 18 years.
219
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,800
So now you're presented with one of
the greatest scripts on God's Earth,
220
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,560
then, yes, you're going to fail.
221
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:48,880
You're determined to. Hugely.
222
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,560
Visibly. Lavishly.
223
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,000
Or...
224
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,840
you can go back to Leicester...
225
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,400
..do your job...
226
00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:59,800
..and fucking act!
227
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,840
ROGER:
Well, it was only a stagger through.
228
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,160
And it wasn't exactly staggering.
229
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,280
But we're getting there,
bit by bit.
230
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,280
I still think, Nolly,
to, er, jump to the end...
231
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:32,760
So, we could bring the whole of that
last song much further downstage,
232
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,960
right into the audience,
right as!
233
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:39,240
I suppose I just find that
a bit exposing.
234
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,520
That's how she feels.
Yes.
235
00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:44,040
I get that. I do understand.
236
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,680
I suppose it's the one thing
I've been fighting.
237
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,480
After, you know, all these years.
238
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:51,880
I was, er...
239
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:56,040
Did you know...
240
00:11:56,080 --> 00:12:00,560
that I was the first woman
in the world
241
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,680
to appear on colour television?
Really?
242
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,920
And that is where I stayed,
on camera.
243
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,680
And I was happy there
for a long, long time.
244
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,920
It's no wonder you gossip.
245
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,920
I can hear you talking about me.
246
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,360
Everybody says I'm a dyke.
247
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,560
I often think it's not fair.
248
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,360
Patty,
when a woman hasn't got a man,
249
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:28,920
they say that she's failed,
she's lacking, she's odd.
250
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,880
Which means she's a lesbian.
251
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,800
You must find that very offensive.
252
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,400
I've never really thought about it.
But the point still stands.
253
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,160
When you are a woman
with no husband,
254
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,320
no partner, no children,
255
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,120
society doesn't know who you are.
256
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,280
There's no place for us.
257
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:50,320
This silent army of women
with no name.
258
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,760
Actually, that is offensive.
Thank you.
259
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,680
You're right.
Thank you.
260
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,040
Bastards.
Exactly.
261
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,680
But I did have someone.
262
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,760
I gave him 20 years of my life.
263
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,240
Val...
264
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,640
Parnell.
265
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:09,960
Oh, really?
266
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,520
Is that a man? Val?
Short for Valentine.
267
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:14,080
Huge impresario.
268
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,280
Big, blond giant.
He worked with everybody,
269
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,040
Judy Garland. Bob Hope.
270
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,040
He signed up Julie Andrews
when she was 12.
271
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,080
And he was married.
272
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,960
Which means
you've all got an opinion.
273
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,000
No, it happens, darling.
274
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,360
Actually, my father had an affair
for 12 years
275
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,200
and it destroyed my mother.
I know.
276
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,400
It completely destroyed her.
So...
277
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,680
I understand.
Good.
278
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,640
Val Parnell set up ATV, didn't he?
Yes.
279
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:41,080
So he set up Crossroads for you?
No.
280
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,040
It wasn't like that.
281
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,040
Nolly, he bought you.
ROGER: All right, Becky.
282
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,880
He told his wife. And then
he came to me and he said,
283
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,600
"Helen knows all about you."
284
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,840
And he said, "I need you both.
285
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:59,080
"I want you to be friends."
286
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,040
And she accepted that?
Yes, she did.
287
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,760
Was she mad?
No, she loved him.
288
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,600
And I loved him.
289
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,680
That's the bit
you have to understand.
290
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:13,040
I absolutely loved him
with all of my heart.
291
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,680
So, we had dinner, the three of us.
292
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,440
And she took me to one side,
and she said,
293
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,480
"He is a wonderful man,
294
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:27,160
"and I'm prepared to accept you
as his mistress...
295
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:32,880
"..if you are prepared to accept me
as his wife."
296
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,360
And I said...
297
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,680
"I will."
298
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,960
And then, from then on,
we shared him.
299
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,040
That's how we lived for years.
300
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,280
He bought an apartment
in the South of France
301
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,120
overlooking the Mediterranean.
302
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,000
It was all white and gold.
303
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:53,240
And he flew us out.
304
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:56,200
And we sat there one night,
having dinner.
305
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,720
Me, Val and Helen.
306
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,520
And he looked at Helen
and he looked at me...
307
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:07,440
..and he raised his champagne
in a toast and he said,
308
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:12,080
"I've always wanted this,
you two, sitting either side of me.
309
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,000
"And I want you to know...
310
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,920
"..that you are the two great loves
of my life."
311
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,600
And then, the next day,
he flew home
312
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,960
and ran off with a third woman
called Aileen.
313
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,600
CAST AND CREW GASP
I never saw him again.
314
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,040
Oh, my God!
315
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,720
He died in 1972.
316
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:39,280
That greedy old heart
stopped beating.
317
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,920
Bloody hell...
318
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,320
And I can see you, girls,
all thinking,
319
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,240
"Oh, I'd never let a man
do that to me."
320
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,720
Well, I wouldn't.
321
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,240
It's a different world now.
No.
322
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,880
They're clever.
323
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:53,640
They're cleverer
than you'll ever know.
324
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:57,680
And they play games
on levels you can't even see.
325
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,800
You don't believe me now
326
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,680
because you're young,
327
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:03,680
and you're tough,
and you're brilliant.
328
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,960
But I promise you,
329
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:10,280
you will turn round at 40,
or 60, or 80...
330
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,920
..and you'll say, "Oh, my God.
331
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,520
"He got me.
332
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:16,960
"He got me."
333
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,560
I thought all of this was me.
334
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,640
Turns out, it was him.
335
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,320
All the things
that I could've become
336
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,080
were taken by him.
337
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:27,440
All my life...
338
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,080
..was him.
339
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,160
And you ask me why I was sacked.
340
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,320
Every single day,
341
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:42,000
every single person
asks me why I was sacked.
342
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,640
And that is the reason.
343
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,760
They know.
344
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,320
The herd.
345
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,120
The pack. The instinct.
346
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,120
They can smell a victim.
347
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,720
I was sacked
because I was sackable.
348
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,280
Those men
just did what they always do,
349
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,040
they singled me out,
they bared their teeth,
350
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,760
and they brought me down.
351
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,560
And then they raised
a glass of champagne
352
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,720
and moved on to the next!
353
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:18,120
And, yes,
I will sing your song downstage.
354
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,080
Cos that is going to get us
to the West End.
355
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:25,480
I will sing your bloody song
downstage,
356
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,400
right here,
357
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,400
in front of one thousand people!
358
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:35,200
# Everything's coming up Rose
359
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:40,080
# Everything's coming up roses
360
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,720
# Everything's coming up roses
361
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,240
# This time for me!
362
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,080
# For me!
363
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,240
# For me!
364
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,680
# For me! For me!
365
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:01,760
# For me!
366
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,280
# For
367
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:10,920
# Me! #
368
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,840
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
369
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,840
MICHAEL:
I'm afraid it's not happening.
370
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,240
The West End.
371
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:32,600
I'm sorry, darling.
You were absolutely sensational.
372
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,040
OK.
We tried.
373
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,840
But we can't.
374
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,720
OK.
375
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,480
TONY: Nolly?
376
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,680
Ah, I've got to rush, Nolly.
Thanks for the drinks.
377
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,160
That's a godawful white wine.
378
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,840
The last train's at 11:00.
379
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,320
You were absolutely mesmerising,
darling.
380
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:00,880
A star is born.
381
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,200
Well, she was born
an awfully long time ago.
382
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,760
But, thank you. Now, run.
I'll come and see it again.
383
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:09,520
I'll come see it in London!
Bye-bye!
384
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,920
It's not you. It's contractual.
What does that mean?
385
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,240
They are reviving Gypsy on Broadway,
386
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,720
which means, legally,
there can't be another production.
387
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,760
We're three thousand miles away!
388
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:25,520
I know, I've asked, we've checked,
there's nothing we can do.
389
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,640
And I swear,
it is not your performance.
390
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,320
You were absolutely splendid.
391
00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:31,760
You had that round of applause
when you first walked in.
392
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,400
Oh, don't be so stupid,
that was easy.
393
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,320
You start the clapping.
394
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,800
Clap like hell and do not stop.
395
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,880
All right, go.
396
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,080
INDISTINCT DIALOGUE ON STAGE
397
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,800
Sing out, Louise!
398
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,560
Sing out!
399
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,640
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
400
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,680
You're behind, honey.
You're behind. Catch up.
401
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,600
I have done
one hundred thousand shows.
402
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,400
If I want applause, I'll get it.
403
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:20,320
But that is the limit of my talent,
it seems.
404
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:22,400
POPPY:
Oh, my God, Nolly!
405
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,600
You were absolutely amazing!
406
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,120
Oh, I can't believe I even know you!
407
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,280
I was crying my eyes out at the end.
408
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,480
I know Poppy.
I've known her for years.
409
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,600
We were at Mountview.
Oh, that's lovely.
410
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:37,320
Well, there's drinks for everyone
in the green room.
411
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:41,080
This is Michael, my agent. I've
decided to charge it all to him.
412
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:42,680
So, erm, dive in!
413
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:44,960
Oh, let's get pissed!
Thank you, Michael!
414
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,400
See you in there!
415
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,840
There is a chance.
Derek Nimmo.
416
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,400
He runs those tours abroad.
The Far East.
417
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,480
Hm. Am I so bad
I have to leave the country?
418
00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,320
Come now, it's good work.
419
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:02,160
He said, if Gypsy isn't picked up,
he'd take the whole company,
420
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,720
Fiona and everybody.
421
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,800
And you've been a good team,
haven't you?
422
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,600
What's the show?
The Boy Friend.
423
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:14,680
It's going to Bahrain,
Kuala Lumpur, Abu Dhabi.
424
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,120
Well, what are the theatres like?
Are they any good?
425
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,720
Well, it's dinner theatre.
426
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:21,800
OK.
427
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,880
You think about it.
No, I'll do it.
428
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,240
God knows, everyone staring at me.
429
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,600
Maybe I need to go somewhere
where I can't be seen.
430
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,880
I have to go. But, look...
431
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,000
I will telephone you
on Sunday afternoon
432
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,360
and we can talk about it.
433
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,640
And really, you were magnificent.
434
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,160
Merry Christmas, darling.
435
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:44,840
Merry Christmas.
436
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,640
Oh!
And, therefore, happy birthday!
437
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:12,000
TONY: 'I used those cheques
for gas and electricity.
438
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,120
'And there's quite a few
charity requests.'
439
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,240
But nothing urgent. Although...
440
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,520
the RNLI would like to know
about July 31st.
441
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,040
NOLLY: 'Oh, say, yes.'
442
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,360
I always say yes to them.
I'll be back July 10th.
443
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,120
'So, how is it?
What's the hotel like?'
444
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:26,920
Oh, it's nice enough.
445
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,120
Well, there's not much choice,
there's only one hotel in Abu Dhabi.
446
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,680
'But still...
447
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,880
'everyone's pleased to see us,
we're like visiting dignitaries.'
448
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,520
Where do you go next?
449
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,080
Bangkok.
450
00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:39,680
Fiona says it's wonderful.
451
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,920
She keeps saying she's going
to take me to a strip club.
452
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,800
I think they imagine
that I'm shockable.
453
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,120
Lord, what fools these mortals be.
454
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,400
ROWDY LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
455
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,520
You can fly a plane?
Oh, I'm fully qualified.
456
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,240
I learnt for television.
457
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,680
If we're flying back
and we get into trouble
458
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,280
and someone says, "Is there anyone
who can fly the plane?"
459
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:05,920
look for Nolly.
460
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,000
Is that a hard-boiled egg?
461
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,560
SQUELCHING
Oh, not hard-boiled.
462
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,920
No. I've been a director,
a producer, an executive.
463
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:17,640
I've had my own chat show.
464
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,440
I have done it all.
465
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,360
HE SHOUTS IN THAI
466
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:25,120
And now, it appears,
I've been in a police raid.
467
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:35,800
Well, they said about my career,
I couldn't get arrested.
468
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,160
But look at me now, Mother!
469
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,400
NOLLY LAUGHS
470
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,080
THEY ALL LAUGH
471
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,480
MAN: Miss Gordon, Miss Fullerton,
come with me.
472
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,480
There you are.
I am sorry it took so long.
473
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,280
I'm from the Consulate.
My name's Hansa.
474
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,560
I've got a car outside,
and I can get you back to the hotel.
475
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,120
But I just need you to sign
a couple of forms first.
476
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,520
Miss Fullerton,
you needed to use the phone?
477
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,680
If I could. I'd better tell them
I'm still alive.
478
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,960
HANSA SPEAKS IN THAI
479
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,000
If I could just get you
to sign on the line,
480
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,320
on all five pages, thank you.
481
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:25,800
Sorry. It's basically a promise
not to sue the authorities.
482
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,800
Mm...
I must say,
483
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,560
it's nice to say hello.
484
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,800
I feel like I already know you,
even though we've never met.
485
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,760
I used to work at Cumberland Place
for ATV.
486
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,160
Huh!
487
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,960
That's funny.
I left a couple of years ago.
488
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,440
My mother's not very well,
and this job came up, so...
489
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,160
time to come home.
Mm.
490
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:49,560
Now I have to deal with drug
trafficking and military violence.
491
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,280
It's a lot easier than television.
Oh, I bet!
492
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,040
But I've got to say...
493
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,800
I thought what they did to you
was terrible.
494
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,480
Oh, that's very kind.
But it's all in the past, darling.
495
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,840
Everyone keeps asking me
why I was sacked.
496
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:05,760
And I worked it out long ago.
497
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:08,200
It was men.
498
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:09,920
Just men being men.
499
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,080
Well, yes.
500
00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:14,760
But that man in particular.
501
00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:19,520
What man?
What did they tell you?
502
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,640
Well, they didn't.
But I want to know, what man?
503
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,920
What did he say?
I'm sorry.
504
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,720
It's none of my business.
Except, I was there.
505
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,320
I heard every word.
506
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:33,080
I'm sorry, Miss Gordon, but I know
exactly why you were sacked.
507
00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:54,680
Good to see you.
You look wonderful.
508
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,120
Thank you.
509
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,160
Excuse me.
510
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:09,360
Hello, yes. Erm...
511
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,120
Coffee for me with milk, thank you.
512
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,400
Nolly?
Nothing.
513
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,520
Are you sure?
Absolutely.
514
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,880
Is that just the one coffee, then?
515
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,800
Yes, thank you.
OK.
516
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,240
Sorry, but I'm a very big fan.
517
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,960
Thank you.
I hope you don't mind me asking,
518
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,080
but why did they get rid of you?
519
00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:33,200
Hm.
520
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:35,880
Ask him.
521
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,000
OK.
522
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,280
One coffee.
JACK COUGHS AWKWARDLY
523
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,280
So...
524
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,840
why did you want to see me?
Oh, a few things.
525
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,520
Nice to catch up.
526
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,360
And there's that charity night thing
for Birmingham City Council...
527
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,640
The funny thing is
I wanted to see you.
528
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:56,840
In fact, I think it's very important
that we talk because...
529
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:58,560
I found out something.
530
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:01,120
By chance. Someone told me.
531
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,880
The reason for my sacking.
532
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,200
In fact, I wrote it down.
533
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:12,720
I was given this piece of paper
by a policeman in Bangkok.
534
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,560
It's far too long a story.
535
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:16,840
I was sacked...
536
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,800
..because I'm "a bully".
537
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,160
Because I'm "a prima donna".
538
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,880
Because I'm "delusional".
539
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,400
I make people "go through hell".
540
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,440
I'm "a fly in the ointment".
541
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:35,560
It appears I was sacked because
I am "a difficult asset".
542
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:36,960
Who said so?
543
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,960
Charles Denton, that's who.
544
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,320
Your boss. The man in charge.
545
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:43,480
Well, if he did,
if he was actually...
546
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:45,800
Oh, I'm sorry,
am I being "a difficult asset"?
547
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:49,200
"Noele Gordon is a difficult asset,"
those were his exact words.
548
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,120
Well, he might have said...
549
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,160
There were problems with the show.
But...
550
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:57,760
how did he know anything about me?
551
00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,800
I mean, he was never in studio.
552
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:01,840
He would never see rehearsals.
553
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,560
I don't imagine he's watched
a single episode of Crossroads
554
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,360
in his entire life.
555
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,240
So where did his information
come from, Jack?
556
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,920
Who told him this...
557
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:15,800
..version of me?
558
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,760
I never said those exact things.
559
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,480
A bully?
I didn't say that.
560
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:24,280
Delusional?
I didn't say that.
561
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,840
Prima donna?
I did not say that.
562
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,760
Difficult asset?
Oh, by Christ, you are difficult!
563
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:31,840
Of course you are.
Who are we kidding?
564
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:38,160
Every day, every scene,
every decision, you're a nightmare!
565
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,080
And don't sit there
and pretend you didn't know.
566
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,560
You're very hard work.
Then tell me this.
567
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,880
If I was such a monster,
568
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,240
then why the hell
didn't you tell me?
569
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,240
A lunch.
For God's sake, Jack, a dinner.
570
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,400
A meeting with my agent.
571
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:56,800
Consult me.
572
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:59,640
Confront me.
Tell me what is going wrong.
573
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:01,840
But, no, what do you do?
You sack me.
574
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:03,280
Without a word.
575
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,360
You axe me.
576
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:07,200
In public.
577
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,360
Now, look me in the eye
578
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:13,080
and tell me that
is the right thing to do.
579
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,680
Is it?
580
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:17,600
No.
581
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:20,320
Do you think it's fair?
No.
582
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,400
Do you think it's professional?
583
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,600
No.
584
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:27,080
Would you have done that to a man?
585
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:29,200
And let me tell you
the answer to that,
586
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,440
the answer to that is no!
587
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,520
I just don't understand...
588
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,240
..why you were so...
589
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:45,600
..unkind.
590
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:52,400
I'm sorry.
591
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:56,720
Were you so scared of me?
No.
592
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,000
All right.
593
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,320
I would complain to Charles.
594
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,440
That's how it works,
it goes upwards.
595
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,320
You complain to me,
I complain to him.
596
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,320
But I never thought he'd listen.
597
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,680
That's where it all went wrong.
598
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:18,800
I was used to old-school ATV,
where they would puff on cigars
599
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:20,800
and pass the port and do sod all.
600
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,400
And then, suddenly,
I had this brand-new boss
601
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,920
who takes me at my word
and does something about it.
602
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,720
I mean,
a boss actually doing something?
603
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,200
My God!
604
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:33,760
And I couldn't backtrack.
605
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:35,720
I'd said what I said, so...
606
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:39,600
..here we are.
607
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:45,960
So it was an accident?
608
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:49,120
In a way, yes.
609
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,720
My life was destroyed...
610
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,280
..by accident.
611
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,080
Oh...
612
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:13,440
It never really worked, Crossroads.
613
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,200
What, says the producer?
614
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,440
Coronation Street,
it's about the working class.
615
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:20,200
Emmerdale Farm, is about...
616
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:22,320
..a farm.
617
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,000
But Crossroads...
618
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:25,680
it's about a motel.
619
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,440
We don't have motels.
620
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,200
People don't know what a motel is.
They think it's a typo.
621
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,880
The whole thing
is based on a mistake.
622
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,720
But we couldn't stop.
623
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:38,000
The one thing that machine
can never do is stop.
624
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:39,720
So on we went.
625
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,280
Episode after episode after episode.
626
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:45,720
God alive, no wonder we fight.
627
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,960
And I suggest the fight goes on.
628
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,400
Come back, Nolly.
629
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,440
Ha!
No, I mean it.
630
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,240
That's why
I wanted to see you today.
631
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:05,320
I miss you.
I want you to come back.
632
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,880
Let me make this perfectly clear.
633
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:13,720
I will never,
ever work with you again.
634
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:15,360
I thought, "Venice."
635
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,600
Meg in Venice.
636
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,200
Adam and Jill get married,
they go on honeymoon to Venice.
637
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,560
And I thought,
"What could be better
638
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,040
"if Adam arranged
a little surprise?"
639
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:28,720
They walk into a restaurant
in Venice...
640
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,800
and there is her mother.
641
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:32,200
Meg.
642
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:34,440
In all her glory.
643
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,000
In Venice.
644
00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:40,520
Real Venice?
645
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:43,960
Or Venice in studio?
646
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,040
Real Venice.
647
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:06,560
MUSIC: 'Funiculi funicula'
by Luigi Denza
648
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:25,960
# Aissera, Nannine
Me ne sagliette tu saie addo?
649
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,920
# Tu saie addo?
650
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,200
# Addo
651
00:34:30,240 --> 00:34:36,520
# 'Stu core 'ngrato cchiu dispietto
Farme nun po!
652
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,920
# Farme nun po!
653
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:45,000
# Addo lo fuoco coce
Ma si fuie te lassa sta!
654
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:46,680
# Te lassa sta!
655
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:53,920
# E nun te corre appriesso
Nun te struie sulo a guarda
656
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:55,760
# Sulo a guarda
657
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,920
# Jamme, jamme 'ncoppa!
658
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,040
# Jamme ja funiculi, funicula!
659
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,880
# Jamme, jamme 'ncoppa
Jamme ja... #
660
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,200
SHE CRIES OUT IN PAIN
661
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:32,360
DIALOGUE IS MUTED
662
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,080
TONY LAUGHS
663
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:44,280
It's all rather splendid.
Thanks to you.
664
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:47,240
I normally travel in steerage,
sitting on a box of chickens.
665
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:49,000
This is nothing new, darling.
666
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,600
In 1967, Crossroads went to Tunisia.
667
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:55,800
The motel was blown up by a
newly-discovered World War II bomb.
668
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,320
So, while we were being rebuilt,
we all went to Tunisia.
669
00:35:58,360 --> 00:35:59,600
As one does.
670
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:01,720
This programme
can be a little bit mad at times.
671
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:03,560
Oh, it's bloody nuts!
672
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,160
TONY LAUGHS
673
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:25,880
Good morning, Nolly.
Morning, Jim.
674
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,240
Hello, Sanjay.
Hello, Miss Gordon.
675
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:29,840
Good morning, Michael.
676
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:31,960
And how's the family?
They're great, Nolly...
677
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,680
How's Emily? Give her my love.
Will do.
678
00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:35,600
Hello, Tim.
679
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:38,800
JACK:
Good morning, Miss Gordon!
680
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,000
So, everyone!
681
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:42,440
Scene 15.
682
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,280
I think Adam and Jill arrive in
the doorway, and they stand there.
683
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:47,480
Adam says he's booked
a special table.
684
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,320
But, damn it,
there's somebody sitting there!
685
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:51,960
And that's you, Nolly.
686
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,320
You're over here.
687
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:58,600
You'll be in this chair,
if that works for you.
688
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:00,680
Mm-hm.
Thanks.
689
00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:02,280
With your back to the camera.
690
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:06,080
Oh, nice angle, Bob,
with the fountain in foreground.
691
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:09,280
So, Adam says, "I'll have a word
with whoever she is."
692
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:10,760
He crosses the floor.
693
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,240
OK, Tony?
OK, yeah.
694
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,160
And I stay by the fountain?
Yes, that's right.
695
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,040
You stay over there,
just watching.
696
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,440
So, Tony, come to the table.
You talk to the woman.
697
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,240
You stand here.
OK.
698
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:22,880
There's no actual dialogue?
No, no, it's silent.
699
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,560
Because we're seeing it
from Jill's point of view.
700
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,600
We don't need to cover this, Jim.
701
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:30,360
Just say, "Excuse me," or something.
702
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:32,000
Because Adam's pretending.
703
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:35,200
Say, er, "Excuse me, the table
is booked for that lady over there."
704
00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:36,920
And you can indicate Jane.
705
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,600
And then, Nolly, you turn.
706
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:42,840
You simply turn around.
707
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:45,720
And that's it,
the return of Meg Mortimer.
708
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:47,680
You turn around,
you look at your daughter...
709
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:50,840
..and the entire nation...
710
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:52,200
gasps.
711
00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:56,160
So...
712
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,040
Tony says, "That lady over there?"
713
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,720
Or you can do it with a gesture.
I can do it with a gesture.
714
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:05,320
Is that OK?
What do you think, Nolly?
715
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:07,440
Does that work for you?
Is that all right?
716
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:09,840
We can move it.
We, could, er...
717
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,440
We could choose a different table.
718
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,560
Or we could shoot
from another angle, but...
719
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:16,720
What do you think?
720
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:26,120
I think...
721
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:28,600
..it's fine.
722
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,360
Right.
723
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:31,880
Good.
724
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,880
OK, if we can set that up, please!
725
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,720
Now, if you're feeling tired...
No, don't fuss.
726
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,880
No, if you're feeling tired,
just say.
727
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,760
No-one's going to suspect anything.
They'll just think it's the heat.
728
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:48,640
You worry too much.
729
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:50,000
Always.
730
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,040
It's a very happy shoot, though,
isn't it?
731
00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:58,160
All that silly nonsense.
732
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,440
Will we ever know
why you were sacked?
733
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,600
Oh, I know why.
734
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:04,160
Really?
Mm.
735
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,440
I can tell you the reason.
Which is...?
736
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:09,240
It was a story.
737
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:10,960
That's all.
738
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,200
I was just a good story.
739
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,040
And every story ends.
740
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:20,320
We are taking you
to that specialist.
741
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,880
Everything is going to be fine.
The past few days...
742
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,680
..I can't help looking back.
Don't talk like that.
743
00:39:26,720 --> 00:39:28,160
No, but I was thinking.
744
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:30,680
About Val.
745
00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:34,920
And all those men.
You've had a few, darling.
746
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,440
Mm.
747
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,320
Clive the soldier.
748
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:41,240
I was only 18.
749
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:45,080
He proposed to me
in the cellar of the Adelphi Hotel
750
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:46,920
in the middle of an air raid.
751
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,840
Then he jilted me.
752
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:50,880
Because I was an actress.
753
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:55,640
Then there was the stockbroker
who wanted me.
754
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:58,280
But only if I gave everything up.
755
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:00,200
So I said, "No."
756
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:03,480
And then that agent.
757
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:04,960
Ben.
758
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,920
Do you know,
I can't even remember his surname.
759
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,160
So many years ago.
760
00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:15,840
It's been a very...
761
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,480
long life.
762
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:21,560
But the funny thing is,
out of all of them...
763
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:25,600
..I love...
764
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:28,040
..you.
765
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,080
Oh, Miss Gordon!
766
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,800
JACK:
Tony! Opening positions, please!
767
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:44,640
Get on with it.
768
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,240
Oh, yes, it's lovely.
769
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:53,680
Excellent.
770
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,600
Everyone,
I think we'll record this one.
771
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:02,840
Final checks, please!
772
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:12,440
Everyone set?
773
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:13,920
Guys, good?
774
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:19,000
And...
775
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:20,400
action!
776
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:35,920
You're absolutely beautiful.
777
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,240
They said I might be too frivolous.
Bah!
778
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,280
TELEPHONE RINGS
779
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,640
Crossroads Motel, can I help you?
780
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:55,960
Are you trying to poison me?
781
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,600
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
782
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,000
Mwah!
783
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:06,800
Smile, you miserable bastard.
784
00:42:10,240 --> 00:42:11,880
Is this some sort of soap opera?
785
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:14,800
Because I only watch TV
for the news and the wildlife.
786
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,640
Well, then,
you're a fucking idiot.
787
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,240
Thank you.
788
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:31,040
Now, there are a number
of approaches we can take.
789
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:33,920
Although it's got to be said,
790
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:36,080
I consider this to be urgent,
Miss Gordon.
791
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,600
We try not to give an exact
prognosis in cases like this.
792
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:43,120
But still...
793
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:47,640
I'd say we're talking about
a small number of years, at best.
794
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,160
APPLAUSE
795
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:56,120
APPLAUSE CONTINUES
796
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:08,080
Oh!
Nolly, are you all right?
797
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:20,320
And cut!
798
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:23,280
Check it.
799
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:33,280
Was that all right?
It was lovely.
800
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:34,680
Did it work?
JACK: Good for sound?
801
00:44:34,720 --> 00:44:36,080
Yeah, I think so.
802
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:39,560
Everyone!
803
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:42,160
I think I can say,
on behalf of us all...
804
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,520
..welcome back, Miss Noele Gordon.
805
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:49,160
CHEERING
806
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:52,680
Bravo!
807
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:58,480
Bravo!
808
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:05,920
Bravo!
809
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:07,360
Bravo!
810
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:06,800
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