All language subtitles for 07 - The Witches Are Out

My those cookies smell
scrumptious, Samantha.

- Thank you, Bertha.
- You must give me the recipe.

Bertha won the pie-baking contest at
the fair this year. Didn't you, Bertha?

Well, it was my turn.

Now, who'd like milk with their tea?

You've done enough, dear. You come
right over here and sit down...

we'll take care of it ourselves.

I'm trying to give it up.

- Shouldn't Aunt Clara be here by now?
- She certainly should.

You know, I worry about that woman
every time she steps out of the house.

She's getting on, you know and she's...
Well, let's be frank.

She's gone a little funny.

And stubborn.

I offered to pick her up, but no,
she insisted on flying by herself.

Have either of you flown
with Clara lately?

- Not lately.
- Suicide, plain suicide.

There's someone
at your front door, dear.

I didn't hear anything.

Excuse me.

Endora told me
that since the marriage...

she doesn't even do
little things anymore.

Oh, my stars.
Aunt Clara, what happened?

Oh, I got the spell all wrong.
I got all mixed in the spell...

and I got landed in the
middle of the freeway.

Good gracious. Well, here, we'll just
get you straightened out.

Come on in.
Now, don't you look lovely.

Yes, dust you off a little bit.
Now, come on.

- Hello, Clara.
- Hello, Bertha dear.

You sit down, Aunt Clara,
I'll pour you a nice cup of tea.

Oh no, no, no. I can do that myself.

Well, I'm not as old
as all that, you know.

Well, let me see. Now, let me see.

I know, dear. I know. I know.

Clara, in the future,
will you please ask?

Well, I didn't want any tea anyway.

And my powers are just as good as
ever, so don't get pernickety with me.

It's just that
at this time of year, I...

It sends me all flooey.

I hate Halloween. I hate Halloween.

Well?

- They're very good.
- Yeah.

They're the best Halloween candies
our company's ever put on the market.

- Try some more.
- I haven't finished with what I have.

Go on, go on.

Now, what we wanted
was a special campaign devised...

to run through the entire
Halloween season, right?

Nice and chewy, aren't they?

Now, of course,
the first thing we needed...

was a highly identifiable
trademark, right?

I'm sure I can come up with
something for you, Mr. Brinkman.

You don't have to come up with a thing.
I know exactly what I want.

I puzzled over it for days,
let me tell you, and then suddenly...

the answer came to me
just like that. Are you ready?

A witch.

A witch.

Well, that certainly ties in
with the product.

It's not the broomsticks I mind so
much, it's the way they make us look...

those ugly, horrid warts
and those long, crooked noses.

I guess they just don't realize that
we're like anybody else, almost.

Up to now, we've been able to do
nothing, but I can't take another year.

That's why we came to see you.
We thought you might have some ideas.

We tried Endora, but she's not
interested in the cause at all.

Oh, I know.

Mother flies to France every year
this time till it all blows over.

She thinks we should try
and forget it.

I can't forget it. Every time I see a
picture of one of those ugly old crones...

I fly right home
and cry myself to sleep.

An ugly old crone,
with a long nose, I mean long.

And then warts on her chin
and broken teeth, a lot of broke...

A whole mouthful of broken teeth...

and a tall black hat
and a broomstick.

Can I see some
rough sketches tomorrow?

Well, I'll get to work
on that right away.

I don't know why we don't simply
tell everyone that we're witches...

and then they'd see what wonderful,
nice people we really are.

You'd better take out
lots of fire insurance first.

Bertha, they stopped burning us years
ago. We have made some progress.

Well, not enough.

I personally think it all begins
with the children.

Someone ought to rewrite
those fairy tales.

Well, you know, show Hansel and
Gretel for what they really are...

a couple of pushy kids going around
eating sweet old ladies' houses.

I think that's the silliest thing
I ever heard of.

You got any better ideas?

Wait a minute,
Darrin might have an idea.

A mortal?

Oh, I don't think so, Samantha.

Mortals don't seem to know
how to do anything too well.

Darrin's a very good advertising man,
and he's familiar with our problem.

But do you think he's interested
enough to do anything about it?

I'm sure he'd be glad to help us.

I think that's a crackerjack
notion, right up with the times.

I'll talk to him as soon he gets home.

He'll probably have
some wonderful ideas.

Darrin's home. It may be better
if I spoke to him alone.

Well, we've stayed
much too long anyway, dear.

Do you think he'll be able
to help us?

- I'm sure of it.
- Do keep in touch, and let us know.

- Oh, I will.
- Thanks for the tea, dear.

We'll just slip out this way.

- We had a lovely time.
- Goodbye.

I'd better be running along too,
you know.

- Certainly.
- Anything you need, let me know.

Oh, yes.

- Well, goodbye.
- Oh, goodbye. Goodbye.

Aunt Clara, are you all right?

I'm fine, fine. What went wrong?

Maybe you didn't concentrate.

Oh, yes. Could be, you know.

Aunt Clara, here, I have a marvellous
idea. Why don't you go out the back...

through the kitchen door.

Maybe that will be the best way.

These walls are getting harder
and harder.

Aunt Clara.

- Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi, sweetheart.

Expecting rain?

Oh, no, no, just straightening up.
How was your day?

Grim.

There's something important
I'd like your advice about.

Sure, as soon as I put some
finishing touches on these sketches.

You have bicarbonate handy?

- Something you eat disagree with you?
- You could say that.

Sure, I'll get you one.

Here you are, darling.

- Thank you, sweetheart.
- You look tired.

I'm almost finished.
What did you want to talk about?

Well, Darrin, I need
some professional advice.

I was thinking this afternoon...

that just about this time of year,
somebody should...

What's that?

- A Halloween witch for a billboard.
- You're going to use that picture?

It's not quite finished yet.
I thought I'd put another wart here.

Darrin, how could you? You of all
people, you should know better.

That's the kind of thing
we're trying to fight.

- What are you talking about?
- That picture, it's offensive.

- Offensive?
- Is that how you think I look?

- Will you calm down?
- Do you?

- Of course not.
- Then why did you do it?

Because that's the way most
people think witches look.

Is that any reason to discriminate
against a minority group?

- What minority group?
- Witches, of course.

- Sam, people don't believe in witches.
- What's that got to do with anything?

How can you discriminate against
something you don't know exists?

Don't split hairs.

Sweetheart, if you realized
how ridiculous you...

- Where are you going?
- I'm going to hang by my feet...

from a beam in the attic
and cackle at the moon.

What's the matter with you?
Are you serious?

Of course I am.

How would you like it if you were always
represented as something different?

Well, let's face it, darling,
you are a little different.

- Darrin, please.
- What did I say?

- You're prejudiced.
- Prejudiced?

Mother was right.

If I was prejudiced, I wouldn't
have married you, would I?

Oh, so that's it.
You think you did me a big favour.

Took the poor little witch in.
Quite a sacrifice.

Makes you feel self-righteous.
Is that it?

- I may get very sick.
- Anyone as bigoted as you deserves it.

I am not bigoted!

Witches have feelings,
just the same as anyone else.

When we see those little children
around on Halloween...

with blacked-out teeth and warts...
Don't you understand? It hurts.

Does it really mean
that much to you, Sam?

Of course it does.

I remember when I was a child, Mother
and I used to leave the country...

so we wouldn't have to look at those
ugly masks. It was horrible.

I knew you'd understand.

I understand perfectly, darling.

I just hope Brinkman does.

I'm telling you,
that's not what I want.

I want an old crone
with blacked-out teeth.

And she's got warts on, on...

Mr. Brinkman, listen to me.
Listen for just a minute.

Now, everyone uses the
traditional Halloween witch.

Who's to say
they really look like that?

Now, my idea is to get away from the
old stereotype and use a beautiful...

well-dressed witch
as your trademark.

You are nuts.

Witches got long noses
and blacked-out teeth...

Stop. You don't know
what you're talking about.

Look here, fella,
I don't like being insulted.

Neither do witches.
They've got feelings too.

You're afraid of offending a witch?

Well, if I were a witch,
I'd be offended.

Wouldn't you, Mr. Brinkman?

I mean if...

you said
that I look like that, I'd...

Mr. Brinkman, supposing
there really were witches...

and there's no absolute
proof there aren't...

can you imagine how they would feel
to have their image distorted?

Tate, come in here, please.

What's the trouble?

Say to him what you just said to me.

I was just trying to convince him to use
a beautiful woman in the campaign.

No, no, no. The other thing,
the other thing.

Well, I was just putting
forth a theory that...

witches might exist.

Witches?

You hear that?

You mean with long noses,
blacked-out teeth and warts?

No, of course not,
they probably look more like...

Glinda.

- Who?
- Who?

Glinda. The Good Witch of the North
in The Wizard of Oz.

Oh, she's gorgeous.

The Good Witch of the North?

He doesn't wanna hurt her feelings.

I'm merely suggesting a more
sophisticated campaign.

Something with a bit
more imagination.

Darrin, you do understand exactly
what Mr. Brinkman wants, don't you?

He should.
I told him a thousand times.

It's a simple breakdown
of communication.

You'll have your sketches,
Mr. Brinkman.

How about it, Darrin?

Put someone else
on the account, Larry.

What?

Darrin, I see no reason
why there should be a problem.

It seems to me to be a
fairly simple campaign.

Very simple from Mr. Brinkman's
point of view.

What's wrong with the way I see it?

Nothing at all from your point of view.
I just think it should have...

a little more sophistication
and imagination.

Darrin, you're being
unnecessarily wilful and stubborn.

- I'm being honest.
- Who made you an authority on witches?

Nobody.

But...

Well...

What's so great about warts?

- Hi, honey, did they call?
- No, they didn't call.

Maybe you should call Mr. Brinkman
and apologize.

- You know I can't do that.
- Not even for me?

- For you?
- Darling, I can't go on like this.

I've been feeling guilty ever since you
walked out on Larry Tate yesterday.

Why should you feel guilty?

Because if you weren't married to me,
you wouldn't have lost your job.

Subconsciously, all our lives
you'll hold it against me.

I told you this has nothing to do
with you, Samantha.

You get out of here
and let me do these bills, huh?

Darrin?

- I have an idea.
- What?

Mr. Brinkman wouldn't care
what campaign he had...

as long as he sold
his candies, right?

Suppose somehow all the other candy
companies went out of business, and I...

Will you stop that? You got me
in enough trouble as it is.

You see, you do hold it against me.

Samantha...

Aunt Clara, Mary...

Bertha, I have to talk to you.

We're here, Samantha.

Are you all right, Clara?

Yes, yes, of course I am.
Let me go, I can stand by myself.

I'm sorry to get you up at this hour,
but it's very important.

We know, dear. We feel terrible
about what's happened.

It's all our fault that your
young man has lost his job.

- Now, what can we do to help?
- Now, you must understand...

Darrin is very proud. Unless he's
asked to go back, he won't go back.

- It's a matter of principle and integrity.
- Two excellent reasons.

Bertha could make a telephone call.
She's wonderful at voice imitations.

No, what I was thinking of
was a way to make...

Mr. Brinkman change his mind
about the campaign.

That way we'll be helping Darrin
and ourselves at the same time.

Wonderful. Now, what's the idea?

We could start with a protest march.

- That's very good.
- And nonviolent.

We could add signs.

Signs? Oh, that's
an excellent idea. How about...?

Very much to the point.
Now, let's see, how about this one?

- Wonderful.
- I know one too.

I think that's exactly how we feel,
and if this doesn't have any effect...

I have a few more ideas we can
discuss on the way to Mr. Brinkman's.

Good. Coming, Clara?

Clara!

Oh, I was just mentally
counting my doorknobs.

You'll need a sign.

A sign? Oh, a sign.

No? It's the best I could do.

Shall we go?

What are you doing up there?

Just read the signs, Mr. Brinkman.

"Vote for Coolidge"?

These signs, Mr. Brinkman.
We're a protest group.

We checked the advertising campaign
that you planned, depicting us...

as old crones.
We find it distasteful and insulting.

I don't care what you find it.
What business is it of yours anyway?

Why, it's very much our business,
Mr. Brinkman. We're witches.

- Oh, you're witches, are you?
- We certainly are.

You come on down here off my lamp.
The rest of you come on down here too.

- You hear me?
- Don't you believe us, Mr. Brinkman?

I'll tell you what I believe. I believe
you'd all better get out of here...

- before you're thrown out.
- He doesn't believe us.

Well, I guess
we'll just have to convince him.

All ready? Together.

Clara, what are you doing?

Oh, I was just looking
at this doorknob.

How do you get it so brilliant?

Stick to business, Clara.
Now, come up here and sit down.

You keep your shirt on.

All right, I've had enough of this.

Maybe the police
will have something to...

A snake.

Still don't believe in witches,
Mr. Brinkman?

It's that rich food.

It's all that rich food I ate.
I should never eat French cooking.

My stomach just won't take it.

Criticizing French cooking.

- Cigarette?
- What?

- Blindfold?
- Why? Why would I need a blindfold? I...

Ready!

- Please, don't shoot me. Don't...
- Aim!

I do believe in witches, I do, I do.
I do believe in witches.

Fire!

They shot me. I'm dead.

I told you I believed you, but you
killed me anyway. It's not fair.

Oh, nothing of the sort.
You're perfectly all right.

- I'm all right.
- Practically.

- What do you mean "practically"?
- Take a look in the mirror.

- What did you do to me?
- The same thing you did to us.

I never did anything to you.

Old crones, you said. With long hooked
noses and blacked-out teeth and warts.

How'd you like to go through life
looking like that?

You wouldn't leave me like this.

Of course not, we want the world
to know you as you really are.

Now, you'll do the same for us,
won't you, Mr. Brinkman?

I promise. I promise.

Good, you can look again.

Oh, boy.
That's what I call a nightmare.

I need a drink.

I'm glad you finally saw my
point of view, Mr. Brinkman.

I know you won't be sorry.

Mr. Brinkman?

Oh, sure. Sure, that's... Sure.

Would you like me to go over the
details of the campaign, Mr. Brinkman?

- The details?
- Oh, no.

No, you do everything. I...

- I have to go to the police station.
- What for?

I was robbed.

I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. Brinkman.

Well, it's all right.

All they took were doorknobs.

A hundred and five of them.

Every doorknob in the house.

Morning.

- Hello, Samantha. Nice to see you again.
- Hello, Larry.

No, couldn't be.

Oh, I'll admit I was sceptical
right up until the time...

Brinkman confirmed
our research reports.

Mothers and children don't buy
Halloween candy, fathers do.

That gorgeous witch
on the billboard...

has kicked Brinkman's sales
up 27 percent.

Darrin, your instinct was
absolutely right. Thank you.

Of course it was. He's the best
advertising man in the business.

Thank you both for them kind words.

Come on, Darrin, tell me, where'd
you get the idea for that campaign?

- Well...
- It was intuition, and that's something...

you can't buy. You have it
or you haven't, wouldn't you say?

I sure would.

And I'd like to propose a toast.
To Darrin's intuition...

wherever it comes from,
may he never lose it.

- I'll drink to that.
- Me too.