All language subtitles for Loudermilk.S01E02.Shark.Week.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H265-SiGMA

I'm Sam Loudermilk,
and I am super-duper excited

about getting you
on the road to sobriety.

Right now, she's having trouble
with her daughter.

I have a feeling
that your brand of help

may be exactly
what she needs.

That's my number.
You want help, call it.

If not, exactly zero shits
will be given by me.

I'm Allison.
I just moved into 2C.

Sam--2B

or not to be.

Well, I guess it's not to be.

As your sponsor
and your only friend,

you really make it hard
for people to like you.

Dude, get away from
my girlfriend.

Why don't you assholes
get out of my way,

or are we gonna do this
the hard way?

What the hell
were you doing in a bar?

You're a drunk. I'm a drunk.
Guys like us can't do that.

Is Sam around or... ?

Okay, thanks for coming by.
I'll let him know.

Excuse me.

How far is it
to Mount Baker?

Mount Baker?

Uh, as the crow flies,
about 12 miles.

Really?

What if I'm
an East Asian chinchilla monkey

running as fast as I can?
How far is it then?

Or how far is it
as the beaver swims?

Let's say I'm a beaver
swimming upstream with my family

and one of my beaver kids
snaps a flipper,

how far is it gonna be then?

Or I'm a three-legged cat,
all right,

he's a blind squirrel,
we're handcuffed together,

and we just got to
make our way across.

Is that more than 12 miles now
or a little bit less?

'Cause I got a Cocker Spaniel

who walks backwards
spitting nickels.

Okay, he likes to tack
back and forth against the wind.

What's his ETA, roughly?

Or maybe I just saddle up
a zoogeographer like yourself

and ride your ass
all the way to Mount Baker.

How far is it then? Huh?

Come on.

Just need to get my fix.

Come on.

What the fuck are you doing
with the coffee machine?

Your coffeemaker sucks, man.
My coffeemaker sucks?

Yeah. I can make meth faster
than that, and I think I have.

You know what?
You're always doing it wrong.

You got to do it right.
You keep doing it wrong.

I'm doing it wrong?
Yeah, you're doing it wrong.

I'm not doing it wrong.
It makes a delicious brew.

Why don't you do it then?

You get the door. I'll show you
how to do the coffee right.

Keeps doing it wrong, this guy.
Well, just do it.

It's not plugged in.

Hey.

Hey. Guess what
I've been doing.

No. I don't play that shit.

Just tell me
what you've been doing.

I read your book.

Oh. Where did you get that?

Ben lent it to me.
It's actually pretty good.

Oh. Thanks.

I'm making some crappy coffee.
Would you like a cup?

Yeah.

I do have one
serious question, though.

Shoot.

They did tell you they were
taking your picture that day...

right?

There it is. You look like
a stupid idiot, look at you.

♪ Loudermilk is Chris Cornell

♪ Hanging out in the '90s

You know what? I remember
seeing you in the '90s, okay?

You had the high fade
and the Hammer pants.

- Yep, every day for a year.
- I was too legit to quit.

No. You were
too big to fail.

Oh, is that a fat joke, or is
that based on the bank crash?

That doesn't even make sense.
This guy calls himself a writer.

So how did you dress
back then?

Actually, I think I dressed
the way I dress now.

Wow. Rebel.

So you're a writer?

I was. Not anymore.

Yeah, Loudermilk used to
work for Spin, Rolling Stone.

Long time ago.
Billy Big Time, this guy.

Big, big, big deal back in
the day, this guy right here.

Yeah. Yeah, the books--
you can still find them,

but I have another gig.

I, uh, I work in--
um, in-in banking.

Oh, yeah?
So what do you do?

Uh, I go in,
I clean up their messes.

Yeah. It-It allows me
to live like a king

with a roommate
in an apartment

with a shitty
coffeemaker.

You're doing it wrong.

Why don't you write anymore?
I mean, this is really good.

It's kind of complicated.
See, the-the--

My thing was that I would
go on tour with the bands

and then write about
all their depravities,

but that's-- It's just too hard
to do when you're sober.

Are you kidding me?
A sober guy on the road

with a bunch of
fucked-up rock stars

would be a great book.
A totally different perspective.

Yeah, until I fall off
the wagon on page four.

Well, why don't you
go on the road

with a sober band?

Well, then I'd fall off
the wagon on page two.

That's the last thing
that I need to see

is a bunch of rock stars
drinking milk

and starting shows on time.

Having sex with their wives.
Disgusting.

Well, if I got
a copy of your book,

would you at least
sign it for me?

Yeah, I'll think about it.

It's lively here today.

Wow, it's an actual bag lady.

What, uh, brings you here
to darken my doorstep?

Um...

you got a minute?

I'm actually kind of
in the middle

of something right now.

Can you come back
in a half an hour maybe?

N-N-No. I-I should...
I should get going.

No. Finish that.

I'll see you later.

- All right. Good to--
- All right.

Come on.
Come on, come on.

Got anything
resembling coffee?

That's exactly what I'd have.

It's 'cause
you're doing it wrong.

I'll be in my room.
Thanks.

I got dumped,
and then I lost my job again.

And I've been getting
blackout drunk every night.

When I woke up
for the fifth day in a row

with my head in the toilet,
I, um...

I immediately thought of you.

Well, you suck
at compliments.

Um, how'd you find me?

Father Mike
gave me your address.

Oh. Well, I owe him one.

My mom's a bitch,
and she won't let me come over

and stay there
until I've cleaned up, so--

Well, yeah. I mean, you smell
like a spicy sausage fart.

No. I mean, like,
"cleaned up" cleaned up.

Like, um,
you know, everything.

Mm-hmm.

So, why are you here?

Because I'm serious
about getting better.

Okay. Good.

But I need help.

I can offer you help.

And a place to stay--
Heh. That ain't happening.

No, b-but please.
I mean, I--

I'll be-I'll be really quiet.
You won't even know I'm here.

No. I don't understand.

Why can't you just find
a park bench

or an abandoned
railway car?

I'll get you
some toilet paper.

You know what?
Fuck you, okay?

I shouldn't have even come here.

I can't believe I came here.
I'm such an idiot.

Come on. Come-- All right.
All right. Se-- Relax. Sit down.

When was the last time
you slept?

I-I don't know.

Hey. Sorry. I got tired
of eavesdropping. Hello.

Yeah. Claire's looking for
a place to stay.

Huh. Okay, well,
we should discuss this, uh...

roommate-style.

Why are you moving your head?
She's looking right at you.

You want me to come over there?
Yes.

Then just say,
"Come over here."

Come over here.
Please come over here.

Excuse us.

You should let her
crash here.

What?

Seriously.

Are you out of
your fucking mind?

No. Think about it. Show that
you can be a good guy,

you'll win some points
with Allison.

You think?
Yeah. Big points.

All right, all right, fine,

but it's just for
a couple of days. Okay?

We're gonna set
some ground rules.

Agreed.
All right.

Let me handle it.
I'll talk to her.

I already heard everything.

Where should I put my stuff?

Yeah. No, no, no.
This is not a free ride. Okay?

You stay clean for 72 hours,
the sofa's yours,

but you got to stay sober
or you got to go-ber.

I just came up with that.
I swear to God.

How about, like,
um, 12 hours?

Uh. No.
Twelve hours gets you

one tall kitchen trash bag
for your stuff.

Okay. Twenty-four hours.

Ben, can you, uh, drive Claire
to the shelter, please?

Let me find the keys
to my automobile.

Thirty-six hours.
Sold to the teenage

drug-addicted loser.

Deal.

Yeah.

All right, thirty-six hours.
It's 4:05.

We are starting right...

Okay, wait. Wait.

Start now.

Yeah, this is gonna go great.

Hey.

What do I do?

You listen. You share.
Or none of the above.

Important thing
is that you're here. Okay?

I'm gonna go
talk to the father.

I'll be back,
but you're gonna be fine.

It gets a little intense
in here sometimes,

but I think you'll find
there's a lot

of love and respect
in this room.

Hey, Loudermilk.
You hitting that?

No. You kidding me?

Oh, h-- I wouldn't sit there
if I was you.

Suck my ass, Booker T.

Sit somewhere else.

- Oh, boy.
- Shouldn't have said that.

All righty.

Uh-oh. Ooh, oh.

There you go.

You know, they-they did
tell you to move. Twice.

Hey, why'd you give that slob
my address?

Oh, she asked.

If she asked for
half that sandwich,

would you give it to her?

Of course.

"If you spend yourselves
in behalf of the hungry

"and satisfy the needs
of the oppressed,

"then your light
will rise in the darkness,

and your night
will become like the noonday."

It's Jethro Tull,
but I don't know the cut.

That's Isaiah 58:10.

Oh.

I skipped lunch.
Can I have half the sandwich?

Fuck off.

Whoa.

You do realize
I had nothing to do with

that Spotlight movie, right?

Heh heh. I'm just trying to
speak in terms

that you will understand,
so listen...

Claire was in pretty rough
shape when we talked.

So, what are her chances?

Uh, same as anybody else
at this phase.

Probably 70-30 she relapses.
Maybe 80-20.

But Iggy Pop
lived through the '70s,

so I don't know.
Anything could happen.

Where's she staying tonight?

Uh, she's on my couch.

Oh yeah?
Yeah.

What happens
when you go to work?

She'll be fine.
Ben's got an eye on her.

- Uh...
- Hello? Occupado.

Sorry.

Thought you were at a meeting.

Uh, yeah, yeah, I was, but
I-I got to use the bathroom.

Just a second.

'Kay.

No fucking way.

There's a picture
of Loudermilk's ex-wife

in this book.
She was pretty.

Sorry about that.

Yeah, no worries, man.
It's your place.

Mm?
No, I'm good. Thanks.

Anyone home?

Yeah. I'm in my room.

Couch.

What's this doing out?

Oh, I was reading it
on the toilet.

Oh, get over yourself,
Loudermilk.

Women shit. A lot.

Is that code for,
"I got to call a plumber?"

You know what?

I'm gonna go out
and get some fresh air.

Said everybody
who lives in the building.

Don't get fucked up.

She actually broke
the damn thing.

Motherfucker.

Look what I found
behind the toilet.

I don't know
what to say.

No?

I'm sorry, Sam.

Sorry doesn't cut it, man.
You were supposed to watch her.

I know.

That's why
I'm saying I'm sorry.

Fuck. I mean, you don't
have to bite my head off.

It's a good thing I found it

before she had a chance
to drink it.

Gee.
It's unbelievable, right?

I mean, it's a great way
to keep it chilled

while you're hiding it,
but, you know, I--

Obviously, she's got to go.

I mean, it's like baseball--

one strike and you're out.

You mean three?

I don't really follow sports,
but you're right.

She does deserve another...
at bat? Right, you know?

No. It's the principle
of the thing. We had a deal.

She broke it.
She lied to us.

Yeah. Well, then, you know,
there you go. That's--

She's got expensive taste,
though. It's a nice bottle.

Of course she does.
Family's loaded.

She's been spoiled
her whole life,

which is why I think
we got to teach her a lesson.

Okay. I got an idea.

How about we don't
say anything to her?

Why?

Fuck with her head.

Don't say that we found
the bottle to her,

and then just see what she does.
I bet it drives her crazy.

That's some Chris Nolan-level
head games you're playing, man.

All right, all right.
You know what else we do?

How do you feel about
taking a drive to the country?

Ahh. Heh.
Okay. I'll go get my keys.

No. Tomorrow, not now.

Oh, good. I'm exhausted.

Uh, 'scuse me.
Do you have change for a five?

Uh, yeah, I think so.

So are you and Loudermilk
fucking?

Let's see,
I've got, uh, four ones.

Three, four. I got--

'Cause you're pretty.

Like herpes medicine
commercial pretty.

Thanks.

I bet he'd totally do you.

Got some quarters.

Seems like he'd kinda be into
some weird shit, though.

Like, probably want to
cram it into your--

You know what?
Just take the money.

You can pay me back later.

Okay. Cool. Hey, I didn't mean
any, like, bad shit.

I just meant,
like, butt stuff.

Yeah, I got it.

Where are we going?

We're gonna try
something different today.

You ever hear of
a vision quest?

No.

Native-American ritual.

Like a lot of Native-American
things the white man stole,

we-we-we bastardized it.

We forgot the original intent,
but it still works pretty good.

I don't-I don't know.

Ben introduced me to it back
when I was trying to get sober.

Look at me. Right?

So this is gonna turn me
into an asshole?

Hey.

Let's take a nice drive
in the country

so you can forget about
booze and drugs for a while.

♪ Sixty-eight bottles of beer
On the wall ♪

♪ Sixty-eight bottles of beer

♪ Take one down,
Pass it around ♪

♪ Sixty-seven bottles of beer
On the wall ♪

How much farther? Like--

The word you're looking for
is "further."

Further.
Who gives a fuck?

We're almost there.

Listen, guys,
do you really think

that getting out into nature
and shit's gonna help me?

Absolutely. Okay?
It's like the movie Revenant.

All right? Leo--
he gets out into nature,

and he goes through a lot,
but by the end of it...

That's a bad example.
Well, yeah.

Okay, okay. Rocky, right?
The third one.

You're Rocky,

and-and Mr. T is a drug
that you have to fight.

Yeah, like, tetracycline.
What?

No. That's-That's a good drug.

Is that a good--
Oh, okay. Uh, Tylenol.

When people get strung out
on Tylenol.

It's also a good--

What-What's that--
What's that stuff? Tiramisu.

Is that a drug?
That's a cake.

That's a dessert. I don't know
what I'm talking about.

Tamiflu?
Tamiflu.

Guys, why-why the fuck
do I have to go do this?

Why do I have to go
do this?

That's what you're gonna learn
on the vision quest.

Ugh.

♪ When I wake up
In the morning, love ♪

♪ And the sunlight hurts
My eyes ♪

♪ And something
Without warning, love ♪

♪ Bears heavy on my mind ♪

♪ Then I look at you ♪

♪ And the world's
All right... ♪

All right. Come on.

Dude. Dude,
it's pouring rain.

No, no. It's all part of it.
It's perfect.

What?
Come on.

It's a very special place.

The Native Americans
discovered an energy nexus here.

Focuses right into--
right into these woods.

How you feeling?

Nervous.

Yeah? You don't have anything
to worry about.

Just take a minute.

All right? Just want you
to center yourself.

Close your eyes.

It's real. Not like drugs.
Not like alcohol.

It's real.
Take a deep breath.

I want you to feel your mind

get clearer
with every inhale

and every exhale.

Breathe in.

Breathe out. Good.

Smell the trees.

Smell the air.

Smell you later,
sucker.

Huh?

Hey.

Punch it.

Don't leave me out here,
you son of a bitch!

Hey! Fuck you!

It's so adorable when they
run after the car like that.

You hungry?

Nah, but I could eat.

All right.

You remember when you
dropped me off like that?

Totally. You almost
grabbed on to my bumper.

You were faster
than you look.

That was the last time
I ever did that.

Last time you drank?

No. Running.

Hmm. What's going on
with you and Allison?

What do you mean?

No, there's nothing...

Well, I don't know. I thought
the book was a nice gesture.

Yeah. You're the one
who gave it to her.

Yes, and I thought it was
a nice gesture.

You think
giving an attractive woman

a picture of a bloated me
with '90s hair

is doing me any favors?

I do, actually.

I think it shows
your vulnerability

and, uh, that you're okay
with being silly.

But that's not me at all.
That's you.

I think you should make a run
at her, man. She's into you.

She's not. Why are you
trying to push me on her?

Want me to move out?

Look, I'm just saying

that enough time has passed
between you and...

I just think a relationship
would be good for you right now

with someone besides me,
that is.

Look, sometimes
you need someone else

to help you to do things
on your own.

No, you don't.

Okay.

What do you think
Claire's doing right now?

Who gives a fuck?

Oh. Hey! Hey! Hey!
Oh, my God.

Thank God.
Thanks for stopping.

What are you doing out here?

I'm lost.
Can I get a ride?

Yeah. Get in the back.

Uh, can I sit in front
with you?

In the back.

How was your vision quest?

All right, all right, okay--

What the fuck,
you asshole?

Deep breath.
You piece of shit!

Okay, hey, hey, hey, come on.
I could've--

I could've fucking died
out there!

Don't be a drama queen, huh?
It's not even bear season.

What the fuck
is going on here?

You're guilty, too.

Me? It was his idea.

Listen, if that is
your fucking idea

of helping someone,

then you're a--
you're fucking psychotic, okay?

I'd be better off on the street,
you pieces of shit!

I'm leaving!
Fuck you both! Fuck you.

You're leaving now?
What time is it?

I don't-- Who gives a shit?

It's 4:55 a.m.

So?

So when did you have
your last drink?

I don't fucking know,
and I fucking--

How long has it been?

Thirty--

Thirty-six hours?

Ah.

Oh. You made it.

Yeah, but-but you took me
into the fucking woods,

and you left me there,
so it doesn't really--

That doesn't matter.

It's like I say--
sometimes you need someone else

to help you do things
on your own.

I haven't--

I haven't-I haven't been
that sober in, like,

a-a year.

And I...

Well, you were fucked up.

Yeah, but in 12 more hours,
you'll have two days.

Pretty soon,
two days turns into a week

and please clean up
this fucking glass. Good night.

Really proud of you, Claire.
Mostly for breaking

that coffee pot.
I've been trying to get rid

of that fucking thing
since the Sochi Olympics.

You were doing it wrong!

Okay.

Hey. You think
we should we tell her

that the couch
folds into a bed?

No. We'd have to move
the coffee table.

Where you going?

I'm gonna give Allison
a copy of my book.

I signed it for her.

Well, you should write
a little something extra.

You know, make it special.

My autograph
is special enough.

Hi.

Uh, is Allison here?

Sorry. No solicitors.

Oh, no, no, no.
I'm Loudermilk from next door.

Oh. Allie,
it's-it's Louder-- uh...

Milk.

Some guy who says
he's your neighbor.

- Yeah. I'll be there in a sec.
- Frittata's burning.

Yeah, she said she liked
one of my books,

so I just, you know,
brought her a copy.

Oh, cool. Yeah.

Uh, who are you again?

I'm Carl,
Allison's boyfriend.

Oh. How come
I haven't seen you around?

I'm an emergency-room doctor
over at Presbyterian,

so long hours.

Right, right, right. Okay.

Let me see that
for a second.

Uh, okay,
enjoy your frittata.

♪ When you get older
Plainer, saner ♪

♪ Will you remember
All the danger we came from? ♪

♪ Burning like embers
Falling, tender ♪

♪ Longing for the days
Of no surrender ♪

♪ Years ago ♪

♪ And will you know? ♪

♪ So smoke 'em
If you got 'em ♪

♪ 'Cause it's going down ♪

♪ All I ever wanted
was you ♪

♪ I'll never get to heaven... ♪