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3
00:02:12,668 --> 00:02:14,804
* Hello
4
00:02:14,837 --> 00:02:18,408
* I don't even know your name *
5
00:02:18,441 --> 00:02:22,978
* But I'm hoping all the same *
6
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:28,484
* This is more than
just a simple hello *
7
00:02:28,518 --> 00:02:30,486
* Hello
8
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:34,590
* Do I smile and look away *
9
00:02:34,624 --> 00:02:38,628
* No, I think I'll smile
and stay *
10
00:02:38,661 --> 00:02:43,766
* To see where this might go *
11
00:02:43,799 --> 00:02:48,804
* 'Cause the last time
I felt like this *
12
00:02:48,838 --> 00:02:53,409
* I was falling in love
13
00:02:53,443 --> 00:02:55,445
* Falling and feeling
14
00:02:55,478 --> 00:02:59,048
* I'd never fall in love again *
15
00:02:59,081 --> 00:03:03,453
* Yes, the last time
I felt like this *
16
00:03:03,486 --> 00:03:07,056
* Was long before I knew
17
00:03:07,089 --> 00:03:10,793
* What I'm feeling now
18
00:03:10,826 --> 00:03:17,967
* With you
19
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,169
* Hello
20
00:03:20,202 --> 00:03:24,540
* I can't wait
till we're alone *
21
00:03:24,574 --> 00:03:28,043
* Somewhere quiet on our own *
22
00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:30,079
* So that we can fall
23
00:03:30,112 --> 00:03:33,549
* The rest of the way
24
00:03:33,583 --> 00:03:35,585
* I know
25
00:03:35,618 --> 00:03:39,154
* That before
the night is through *
26
00:03:39,188 --> 00:03:43,058
* I'll be talking love to you *
27
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:45,595
* Meaning every word
28
00:03:45,628 --> 00:03:48,197
* I say
29
00:03:48,230 --> 00:03:53,068
* Oh, the last time
I felt like this *
30
00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:57,540
* I was falling in love
31
00:03:57,573 --> 00:04:00,576
* Falling and feeling
32
00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:03,513
* I'd never fall in love again *
33
00:04:03,546 --> 00:04:07,983
* Yes, the last time
I felt like this *
* The very last time
34
00:04:08,017 --> 00:04:09,985
* Was long before I knew
35
00:04:10,019 --> 00:04:15,658
* What I'm feeling now
36
00:04:15,691 --> 00:04:22,632
* With you *
37
00:05:36,305 --> 00:05:38,641
Come on, damn it.
38
00:05:47,216 --> 00:05:49,318
Hi.
39
00:05:49,351 --> 00:05:52,354
Uh... hello.
40
00:05:52,387 --> 00:05:55,691
That's a real
sharp-lookin' outfit.
41
00:05:57,059 --> 00:06:00,029
What time is it?
My watch is on the bed table.
42
00:06:03,198 --> 00:06:06,201
- Ten to 12:00?
- No, no, it's 8:25.
43
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:08,203
The stem is broken.
44
00:06:08,237 --> 00:06:11,173
It's three hours
and 25 minutes fast.
45
00:06:11,206 --> 00:06:13,342
Why don't you get it fixed?
46
00:06:14,710 --> 00:06:17,847
I was going to,
but I got used to it.
47
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,916
Doesn't it mix you up?
48
00:06:20,950 --> 00:06:25,087
No, I'm very quick with figures.
Oh.
49
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:28,057
Why are you looking
at me like that?
50
00:06:28,090 --> 00:06:30,726
Why do you have to
look so luminous?
51
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,829
It would make things
so much easier if you
woke up with puffy eyes...
52
00:06:33,863 --> 00:06:37,700
and blotchy skin
like everyone else.
53
00:06:37,733 --> 00:06:41,003
I guess God just figured
that chubby thighs
were enough.
54
00:06:41,036 --> 00:06:44,740
Look, this isn't
gonna just go away.
We have to talk about this.
55
00:06:44,774 --> 00:06:46,676
Okay.
56
00:06:50,846 --> 00:06:53,015
Where you going?
I wanna brush my teeth.
57
00:06:53,048 --> 00:06:55,017
Dorothy, sit down.
58
00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:58,788
Oh, by the way--
No, please, sit.
59
00:06:58,821 --> 00:07:00,856
Dorothy, in the first place,
60
00:07:00,890 --> 00:07:03,926
I want you to know
that what happened last night
was the most beautiful,
61
00:07:03,959 --> 00:07:06,295
wonderful, crazy thing
that's ever happened to me,
62
00:07:06,328 --> 00:07:08,197
and I'll never forget it or you.
63
00:07:08,230 --> 00:07:10,766
Doris.
64
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,236
What?
My name is Doris.
65
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:19,809
Your name is Doris?
Yes.
66
00:07:21,243 --> 00:07:24,446
I've been calling you
Dorothy all night.
I know.
67
00:07:24,479 --> 00:07:29,418
Why didn't you tell me earlier?
I didn't know we were
gonna end up--
68
00:07:29,451 --> 00:07:32,688
And then I did try
and tell you, but you
weren't listening.
69
00:07:34,256 --> 00:07:37,259
When?
70
00:07:37,292 --> 00:07:40,796
It was right in the middle
of everything.
71
00:07:40,830 --> 00:07:44,366
It was incredible, wasn't it?
72
00:07:44,399 --> 00:07:47,903
It was... nice.
73
00:07:47,937 --> 00:07:51,741
I mean, especially
the last time.
74
00:07:53,175 --> 00:07:55,845
I know, I'm an animal.
75
00:07:56,946 --> 00:07:59,715
I don't know what came over me.
76
00:07:59,749 --> 00:08:03,853
I mean, I was-- what--
Wait, what was wrong with
the first two times?
77
00:08:03,886 --> 00:08:07,489
Well, the first time
was a little fast.
78
00:08:07,522 --> 00:08:12,795
And, um,
the second time--
79
00:08:15,297 --> 00:08:18,100
Listen, I really feel funny
talking about this.
80
00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:21,070
It was a very beautiful
thing, Doris.
81
00:08:21,103 --> 00:08:24,840
There was nothing
ugly or disgusting
about what we did.
82
00:08:24,874 --> 00:08:27,376
Then how come you look
so down in the dumps?
83
00:08:27,409 --> 00:08:30,345
Because my wife
is going to kill me.
84
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:34,149
Well, how's she
gonna find out?
She knows already.
85
00:08:34,183 --> 00:08:37,787
- You said she was in New Jersey.
- It doesn't matter. She knows.
86
00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:40,956
How?
87
00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:43,759
Was it as incredible for you
as it was for me?
88
00:08:43,793 --> 00:08:47,863
Do all men like to talk
about it a lot afterwards?
89
00:08:49,264 --> 00:08:51,867
Why? You think I'm some kind
of a pervert or something?
90
00:08:51,901 --> 00:08:53,869
Oh, no!
I was just curious.
91
00:08:53,903 --> 00:08:58,073
See, I was a virgin
when I got married.
Well, at least sort of.
92
00:08:59,975 --> 00:09:02,144
Sort of?
93
00:09:02,177 --> 00:09:05,881
Well, I was pregnant,
but I don't count that.
94
00:09:05,915 --> 00:09:08,150
Doris, that counts!
95
00:09:08,183 --> 00:09:11,821
No, I mean it was by
the man that I married.
Oh, I see. I'm sorry.
96
00:09:11,854 --> 00:09:15,490
Oh, that's all right.
See, Harry and me were
gonna get married anyway.
97
00:09:15,524 --> 00:09:18,994
That just speeded things up
a little bit.
98
00:09:19,028 --> 00:09:24,066
It turns out
I get pregnant if we drink
out of the same cup.
99
00:09:24,099 --> 00:09:26,535
What's the matter?
100
00:09:26,568 --> 00:09:29,138
Nothing.
I-I-I-I'm fine.
101
00:09:29,171 --> 00:09:31,140
I'm all right.
102
00:09:31,173 --> 00:09:33,508
Doris?
What?
103
00:09:35,310 --> 00:09:38,047
I think I'm in love with you.
104
00:09:42,551 --> 00:09:46,388
I mean, it's crazy.
It's really crazy.
105
00:09:46,421 --> 00:09:49,124
I don't even know
if you've read
Catcher in the Rye.
106
00:09:49,158 --> 00:09:52,895
Oh, no, I didn't even
finish high school.
There. You see?
107
00:09:52,928 --> 00:09:56,832
I don't even care,
and I'm really a snob
about education.
108
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,170
Of course,
I should have known
this would happen.
109
00:10:01,203 --> 00:10:04,940
When it comes to life,
I have a brown thumb.
What do you mean?
110
00:10:04,974 --> 00:10:08,543
I mean nothing I ever do
turns out right.
111
00:10:08,577 --> 00:10:11,881
First time--
First time I had sex,
I was 18 years old.
112
00:10:11,914 --> 00:10:15,517
We were in the backseat
of a parked 1938 Dodge sedan.
113
00:10:15,550 --> 00:10:18,487
Right in the middle of it,
we were rear-ended.
114
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,356
Oh. And you didn't have
any insurance?
115
00:10:21,390 --> 00:10:24,093
No, that's not exactly
what I mean. I mean--
116
00:10:24,126 --> 00:10:26,361
Oh.
Look, take last night.
117
00:10:26,395 --> 00:10:29,264
You know what
the radio was playing
while we were making love?
118
00:10:29,298 --> 00:10:32,167
No.
"If I Knew You Were Coming,
I'd Have Baked A Cake."
119
00:10:32,201 --> 00:10:35,070
So?
So that's gonna be our song.
120
00:10:35,104 --> 00:10:37,072
Is it?
No.
121
00:10:37,106 --> 00:10:40,943
I mean, other people
would have gotten "Be My Love"
or "Some Enchanted Evening."
122
00:10:40,976 --> 00:10:45,280
Me, I get
"If I Knew You Were Coming,
I'd Have Baked A Cake."
123
00:10:53,555 --> 00:10:56,025
What is it?
124
00:10:56,058 --> 00:10:59,194
I really want to
take a bath now.
125
00:10:59,228 --> 00:11:01,463
Oh, I'm so--
Oh, I see. I'm sorry.
126
00:11:01,496 --> 00:11:03,398
It's okay.
127
00:11:04,967 --> 00:11:09,304
Yeah. Okay. Oh, sure.
I'll-- I'll wait out--
I'll be out--
128
00:11:45,207 --> 00:11:46,575
Wow!
129
00:11:46,608 --> 00:11:49,211
We're in big trouble, Doris.
Huh?
130
00:11:49,244 --> 00:11:52,181
I really think I've fallen
in love with you.
131
00:11:52,214 --> 00:11:55,951
- You wanna know what kind of luck I have?
- Yeah.
132
00:11:55,985 --> 00:11:58,387
I'm happily married!
133
00:11:58,420 --> 00:12:00,555
Are you Jewish?
134
00:12:00,589 --> 00:12:01,823
No.
135
00:12:01,856 --> 00:12:05,027
Then how come you feel so guilty?
Don't you feel guilty?
136
00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:10,032
You kidding?
Half my high school became nuns.
137
00:12:10,065 --> 00:12:12,734
I guess the Catholics
have rules about
this sort of thing.
138
00:12:12,767 --> 00:12:15,971
Oh, yeah, we have rules
about everything.
139
00:12:16,005 --> 00:12:18,340
That's what's so great
about being Catholic.
140
00:12:18,373 --> 00:12:20,609
You always know where you stand.
141
00:12:20,642 --> 00:12:23,745
I tell you, Doris,
I feel like slitting my wrists.
142
00:12:23,778 --> 00:12:27,282
- Are you Italian?
- What's with you
and nationalities?
143
00:12:27,316 --> 00:12:30,452
Nothing.
You're just so emotional.
144
00:12:30,485 --> 00:12:33,322
I happen to be a C.P.A.
Oh?
145
00:12:33,355 --> 00:12:37,659
I could be as logical
as the next person.
Oh.
146
00:12:37,692 --> 00:12:40,462
Well, you don't strike me
as the accountant type.
147
00:12:40,495 --> 00:12:43,398
It's very simple.
My whole life
has been a mess.
148
00:12:43,432 --> 00:12:46,035
Figures always come out right.
149
00:12:46,068 --> 00:12:49,038
What are you?
Oh, I'm Irish.
150
00:12:49,071 --> 00:12:52,707
Well, they're emotional.
Why aren't you yelling
or crying or something?
151
00:12:52,741 --> 00:12:55,577
I did all of that before
in the bathroom.
152
00:12:55,610 --> 00:12:59,181
Crying?
Nope. Yelling.
153
00:12:59,214 --> 00:13:03,385
I didn't hear you.
I stuffed a towel
in my mouth.
154
00:13:03,418 --> 00:13:06,255
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
155
00:13:06,288 --> 00:13:09,091
No sense crying over spilt milk.
156
00:13:09,124 --> 00:13:12,094
Yeah, you're right.
157
00:13:12,127 --> 00:13:15,264
How come we feel so terrible?
158
00:13:15,297 --> 00:13:19,168
Because we're two decent,
honest people, and this thing
is tearing us apart.
159
00:13:19,201 --> 00:13:22,037
I mean, I know
it wasn't our fault,
but I--
160
00:13:22,071 --> 00:13:26,108
I keep seeing the faces
of my children and the look
of betrayal in their eyes.
161
00:13:26,141 --> 00:13:28,643
I keep thinking
about my marriage vows,
162
00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:31,713
the trust my wife
has placed in me...
163
00:13:31,746 --> 00:13:35,717
and all the experiences
we've shared together.
164
00:13:35,750 --> 00:13:38,053
And you know
the worst part of it all?
165
00:13:38,087 --> 00:13:40,255
What?
166
00:13:40,289 --> 00:13:44,826
While I'm thinking all this,
167
00:13:44,859 --> 00:13:47,362
I have this fantastic
hard-on.
168
00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:54,803
I really wish
you hadn't said that.
169
00:13:54,836 --> 00:13:57,639
I'm sorry. I think
we should be totally honest
with each other.
170
00:13:57,672 --> 00:14:00,809
It's not that.
It's that I have to
go to confession.
171
00:14:07,782 --> 00:14:09,784
You know--
172
00:14:11,353 --> 00:14:14,089
W-We're both crazy.
You know that, don't you?
173
00:14:14,123 --> 00:14:19,261
I mean, this sort of thing
happens every day
to millions of people.
174
00:14:19,294 --> 00:14:24,199
You don't use actual names
in confession, do you?
No.
175
00:14:34,176 --> 00:14:36,411
Doris, may I ask you something?
176
00:14:36,445 --> 00:14:39,448
Sure.
177
00:14:39,481 --> 00:14:42,151
Would you go to bed
with me again?
178
00:14:42,184 --> 00:14:44,553
Oh, George, I can't.
179
00:14:44,586 --> 00:14:47,622
Why not?
'Cause we'd just
feel worse afterwards.
180
00:14:47,656 --> 00:14:50,759
Oh, no. I'm over that now.
I just remembered something.
181
00:14:50,792 --> 00:14:53,328
What?
The Russians
have the bomb.
182
00:14:53,362 --> 00:14:55,764
We could all be dead tomorrow.
183
00:14:55,797 --> 00:14:58,633
George, I think
you're clutching
at straws.
184
00:14:58,667 --> 00:15:01,570
Doris, don't you understand?
No.
185
00:15:01,603 --> 00:15:04,439
We're two grown-up people.
186
00:15:04,473 --> 00:15:08,743
We have absolutely nothing
to be ashamed or afraid of.
187
00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:17,686
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
188
00:15:17,719 --> 00:15:20,422
What are we gonna do?
189
00:15:20,455 --> 00:15:23,258
What are we gonna do?
190
00:15:23,292 --> 00:15:25,327
Uh-- Coming!
My hat. My bag.
191
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,562
What?
My hat! My bag!
192
00:15:29,364 --> 00:15:31,366
Be right there.
193
00:15:33,268 --> 00:15:35,537
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
Where are you going?
194
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:41,510
Okay.
195
00:15:41,543 --> 00:15:44,379
- Don't go in the bathroom.
- Why not?
196
00:15:44,413 --> 00:15:47,682
That's the first place
they'd look.
197
00:15:47,716 --> 00:15:49,618
Oh!
198
00:15:56,491 --> 00:15:59,494
Oh, hello.
Oh, good morning,
Mr. Peters.
199
00:15:59,528 --> 00:16:03,198
- I've got your breakfast.
Did you have a good night?
- Yes. Fine, fine.
200
00:16:03,232 --> 00:16:06,935
Uh, y-you know,
I think I heard
an owl out here.
201
00:16:21,983 --> 00:16:26,588
I'm a C.P.A. When you work
hard all year, it's great
to get back to nature.
202
00:16:26,621 --> 00:16:29,291
I really loved it.
That's right.
203
00:16:29,324 --> 00:16:32,894
Well, thank you,
Mr. Chalmers.
You're welcome.
204
00:16:32,927 --> 00:16:35,264
Have a nice day, now.
Thank you. You too.
205
00:16:35,297 --> 00:16:38,233
- Enjoy the view.
- Yes, I will. I'll just
wander around by myself.
206
00:16:43,905 --> 00:16:45,840
Doris?
207
00:16:50,279 --> 00:16:52,281
Doris?
208
00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:58,653
Have you got a woman in there?
209
00:17:00,522 --> 00:17:04,293
It's okay.
It was old Mr. Chalmers
with my breakfast.
210
00:17:04,326 --> 00:17:07,929
I was very calm.
He didn't suspect a thing.
He didn't ask about the girdle.
211
00:17:07,962 --> 00:17:10,832
- What?
- Girdle.
212
00:17:13,368 --> 00:17:15,437
Oh, great!
213
00:17:15,470 --> 00:17:17,772
Now he probably thinks
I'm a homo.
Oh, well.
214
00:17:17,806 --> 00:17:21,310
What do you care?
I stay here
every year.
215
00:17:21,343 --> 00:17:23,578
Oh, yeah? How come?
216
00:17:23,612 --> 00:17:26,448
I have a friend
who went into the wine
business near here.
217
00:17:26,481 --> 00:17:30,852
I fly out the same weekend
every year to do his books.
From New Jersey?
218
00:17:30,885 --> 00:17:33,622
He was my first client.
It's sort of
a sentimental thing.
219
00:17:33,655 --> 00:17:35,557
Oh, I see.
220
00:17:38,893 --> 00:17:42,397
Uh, Doris, I'd like
to tell you something.
Okay.
221
00:17:42,431 --> 00:17:45,400
You probably think
I do this sort of thing
all the time.
222
00:17:45,434 --> 00:17:48,970
I know I must appear
very smooth and glib
and sexual.
223
00:17:49,003 --> 00:17:53,342
But since I've been married,
this is the very first time
I've done this.
224
00:17:53,375 --> 00:17:58,447
Ah, sure. Don't worry.
I could tell.
225
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:01,916
Listen, would you mind
if I had a little
of your breakfast?
226
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:04,919
Sure.
I'm not hungry.
Thank you.
227
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:09,491
Even when I was single,
I was no good at quick,
superficial affairs.
228
00:18:09,524 --> 00:18:12,494
I always had to like
the person-- What do you mean,
you could tell?
229
00:18:12,527 --> 00:18:16,064
- In what way
could you tell?
- What? Oh.
230
00:18:16,097 --> 00:18:18,333
Uh, well, it was
just little things,
231
00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:21,736
you know, like when you tried
to take your pants off
over your shoes...
232
00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:25,574
and t-- tripped
and hit your head
on the coffee table.
233
00:18:25,607 --> 00:18:28,309
Just little things like that.
234
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:34,115
It's great to be
totally honest with
another person, isn't it?
235
00:18:34,148 --> 00:18:36,485
It sure is.
236
00:18:36,518 --> 00:18:39,488
Doris, I haven't been
totally honest with you.
You haven't?
237
00:18:41,390 --> 00:18:45,494
- I told you I was a married
man with two children.
- You're not?
238
00:18:46,961 --> 00:18:49,498
I'm a married man
with three children.
239
00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:55,470
I thought it would make me
seem less married.
240
00:18:55,504 --> 00:18:59,140
All right,
I didn't think it through,
all right?
241
00:18:59,173 --> 00:19:03,111
There's been like a lead weight
inside me all morning.
242
00:19:03,144 --> 00:19:06,114
I mean,
denying little Debbie
like that!
243
00:19:09,518 --> 00:19:12,721
I was under a certain stress
or I wouldn't have done it.
244
00:19:12,754 --> 00:19:16,491
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Y-You understand?
245
00:19:16,525 --> 00:19:20,462
Sure. We all do
dopey things sometimes.
246
00:19:25,434 --> 00:19:28,570
Well...
247
00:19:28,603 --> 00:19:31,406
I really should be going.
248
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,476
The nuns are gonna be wondering
what happened to me.
249
00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:43,017
Nuns?
Did you say nuns?
250
00:19:43,051 --> 00:19:46,655
Yeah, somehow
it just didn't seem right
to bring up last night,
251
00:19:46,688 --> 00:19:50,859
but I was on my way to retreat.
252
00:19:50,892 --> 00:19:53,027
Retreat?
Yeah.
253
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:55,029
See, it's right near here.
254
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:58,767
I go every year at this time
when Harry takes the kids
to Bakersfield.
255
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,102
What's in Bakersfield?
His mother.
256
00:20:01,135 --> 00:20:03,104
It's her birthday.
257
00:20:03,137 --> 00:20:06,908
Doesn't she mind
that you don't go?
No, she hates me.
258
00:20:06,941 --> 00:20:10,679
'Cause I got pregnant.
Her son had something
to do with that.
259
00:20:10,712 --> 00:20:13,748
Yeah, she blocks that
out of her mind.
260
00:20:13,782 --> 00:20:16,518
See, he was
in his first year
of dental college...
261
00:20:16,551 --> 00:20:20,522
and he had to quit
and take a job selling
waterless cooking.
262
00:20:20,555 --> 00:20:23,958
So now every year
on her birthday,
I just go on retreat.
263
00:20:23,992 --> 00:20:25,960
To think about God?
264
00:20:25,994 --> 00:20:29,564
Well, him too, sure,
but also about myself...
265
00:20:29,598 --> 00:20:33,535
'cause, see, I got pregnant
when I was just 18,
266
00:20:33,568 --> 00:20:37,005
so I've never really
had any time to just think.
267
00:20:37,038 --> 00:20:39,808
You know, I mean, about,
268
00:20:39,841 --> 00:20:42,711
well, what I think about.
269
00:20:44,045 --> 00:20:46,948
Never mind.
I don't know what
I'm trying to say.
270
00:20:46,981 --> 00:20:50,585
Sometimes I think
I'm crazy.
Why?
271
00:20:50,619 --> 00:20:54,088
Oh. Well,
272
00:20:54,122 --> 00:20:56,625
okay, like, take my life.
273
00:20:56,658 --> 00:21:01,496
Now, we live in
a two-bedroom duplex
in downtown Oakland,
274
00:21:01,530 --> 00:21:04,999
and we have a 1948 Studebaker,
275
00:21:05,033 --> 00:21:07,669
a blond, three-piece
dinette set,
276
00:21:07,702 --> 00:21:09,671
Motorola TV.
277
00:21:09,704 --> 00:21:12,507
We go bowling
at least once a week.
278
00:21:12,541 --> 00:21:15,610
I mean, what more
could anyone ask for?
279
00:21:15,644 --> 00:21:18,547
But sometimes...
280
00:21:18,580 --> 00:21:20,682
things get me down.
281
00:21:20,715 --> 00:21:23,785
Oh, I don't know.
It's dumb.
282
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:29,591
I don't think it's dumb.
283
00:21:29,624 --> 00:21:31,960
You don't?
No.
284
00:21:34,729 --> 00:21:39,200
You know, I can really
talk to you.
285
00:21:39,233 --> 00:21:41,202
It's just amazing.
286
00:21:41,235 --> 00:21:45,640
I find myself saying things
to you that I didn't
even know I thought.
287
00:21:45,674 --> 00:21:48,710
I noticed that yesterday
right after we met
in the restaurant.
288
00:21:48,743 --> 00:21:51,279
We had instant rapport.
Did you notice that too?
289
00:21:51,312 --> 00:21:55,550
No, but I know
we really hit it off.
290
00:21:55,584 --> 00:21:59,053
See, Harry's not much
of a talker, you know.
291
00:21:59,087 --> 00:22:02,523
How 'bout your wife?
Do you two get
to talk a lot?
292
00:22:05,193 --> 00:22:08,062
Uh-- Uh, Doris,
it's only natural...
293
00:22:08,096 --> 00:22:11,132
that we should be curious
about each other's
husband and wife,
294
00:22:11,165 --> 00:22:14,302
but-but rather
than dwelling on it
and letting it spoil everything,
295
00:22:14,335 --> 00:22:16,738
why-- why don't we--
why don't we do this?
296
00:22:16,771 --> 00:22:18,640
I'll tell you two stories
about my wife--
297
00:22:18,673 --> 00:22:21,943
one showing the worst side
of her, the other showing
the best side of her.
298
00:22:21,976 --> 00:22:24,779
You do the same thing
about your husband,
and then let's forget it.
299
00:22:24,813 --> 00:22:26,781
Okay.
I'll go first.
300
00:22:26,815 --> 00:22:28,817
I'll start with
the worst side.
Okay.
301
00:22:28,850 --> 00:22:33,154
Phyllis knows about us.
Oh, you said that before.
How could she know?
302
00:22:33,187 --> 00:22:36,825
She's got this thing
in her head!
Like a plate?
303
00:22:36,858 --> 00:22:41,696
A plate?
Oh, my uncle
has one of those.
304
00:22:41,730 --> 00:22:43,598
He was wounded in the war,
305
00:22:43,632 --> 00:22:46,701
and they put
this steel plate
in his head.
306
00:22:46,735 --> 00:22:50,772
Now he says
he can always tell
when it's going to rain.
307
00:22:53,708 --> 00:22:56,310
I'm in big trouble, Doris.
Why?
308
00:22:56,344 --> 00:22:59,781
Because I find
everything you say
absolutely fascinating.
309
00:22:59,814 --> 00:23:03,752
Come on! Tell me
about your wife's
steel plate.
310
00:23:03,785 --> 00:23:08,222
No, no, it's not a plate.
It's more like a bell.
A bell.
311
00:23:08,256 --> 00:23:11,960
I could be a million miles away.
If I look at another woman,
it goes off like an alarm.
312
00:23:11,993 --> 00:23:13,962
Oh, I see.
313
00:23:13,995 --> 00:23:18,667
I just know that last night
at exactly 1:22 a.m.,
she sat bolt upright in bed...
314
00:23:18,700 --> 00:23:22,737
with her head
going ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding!
315
00:23:22,771 --> 00:23:24,405
How do you know it was 1:22?
316
00:23:24,438 --> 00:23:27,742
Because I have peripheral
vision, and I noticed
my watch said 4:47.
317
00:23:27,776 --> 00:23:30,679
Oh.
318
00:23:30,712 --> 00:23:34,749
Well, okay, now,
tell me, um, something
nice about her.
319
00:23:38,386 --> 00:23:41,389
Well... she made me
believe in myself.
320
00:23:43,291 --> 00:23:47,428
It's probably hard for you
to imagine this, but there was
a time I was very insecure.
321
00:23:47,461 --> 00:23:51,933
How did she do that--
make you believe
in yourself?
322
00:23:51,966 --> 00:23:53,935
She married me.
323
00:23:53,968 --> 00:23:57,138
Oh. Yes, well, that was
very nice of her.
324
00:23:57,171 --> 00:24:00,709
Oh, no, no, no.
I meant bolstering you up
and all, you know?
325
00:24:00,742 --> 00:24:04,012
Okay, your turn.
Tell me the worst story first.
326
00:24:04,045 --> 00:24:05,914
Okay. Um--
327
00:24:08,783 --> 00:24:11,052
Ooh, this is hard.
To pick one?
328
00:24:11,085 --> 00:24:13,154
No, to think of one.
329
00:24:13,187 --> 00:24:16,791
See, Harry's
the salt of the earth.
Everybody says so.
330
00:24:16,825 --> 00:24:19,861
Look, you owe me
at least one rotten story.
331
00:24:19,894 --> 00:24:21,730
Oh, okay.
332
00:24:21,763 --> 00:24:25,199
Uh--
333
00:24:25,233 --> 00:24:29,370
Well, I don't know.
This isn't really rotten,
but-- Okay?
334
00:24:29,403 --> 00:24:31,439
All right.
335
00:24:31,472 --> 00:24:34,876
Now, this was on
our fourth anniversary.
336
00:24:34,909 --> 00:24:37,946
We decided that we'd
have some people over
to help celebrate.
337
00:24:37,979 --> 00:24:40,982
So Harry doesn't usually drink,
338
00:24:41,015 --> 00:24:45,053
but that night
he had three beers.
339
00:24:45,086 --> 00:24:47,455
It was after
the Gillette fights.
340
00:24:49,824 --> 00:24:53,127
Well, I just overheard him
talking to some of the guys,
341
00:24:53,161 --> 00:24:55,263
and he said that his--
342
00:24:55,296 --> 00:24:58,767
his time in the army
were the best years
of his life.
343
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:03,805
What's wrong with that?
A lot of guys feel that way
about the service.
344
00:25:03,838 --> 00:25:05,774
Harry was in the army
for four years,
345
00:25:05,807 --> 00:25:09,110
and three of 'em were spent
in a Japanese prison camp!
346
00:25:12,847 --> 00:25:15,984
Okay. Now do you
want to hear the story
about the good side of him?
347
00:25:16,017 --> 00:25:18,319
Not particularly.
Aw, come on.
You have to.
348
00:25:18,352 --> 00:25:21,790
I don't want you to get
the wrong impression of him.
Okay, if you insist.
349
00:25:21,823 --> 00:25:24,425
I do. Okay.
350
00:25:24,458 --> 00:25:27,896
Harry's this, like,
big, heavyset kind of guy,
you know--
351
00:25:27,929 --> 00:25:30,531
I really wish
you hadn't told me that.
Why?
352
00:25:30,564 --> 00:25:34,168
Oh! No, don't worry.
He's gentle as a puppy.
353
00:25:34,202 --> 00:25:37,405
Anyway, uh, last year
he got this great idea...
354
00:25:37,438 --> 00:25:39,974
that he'd take Tony out
to fly a kite.
355
00:25:40,008 --> 00:25:41,976
See, Tony's our four-year-old.
356
00:25:42,010 --> 00:25:45,780
And so they went out
to the park to fly a kite,
but there wasn't any wind.
357
00:25:45,814 --> 00:25:49,818
So it's about an hour later,
and I was on my way home
from the laundromat.
358
00:25:49,851 --> 00:25:51,820
I passed by...
359
00:25:51,853 --> 00:25:55,056
and I see Tony
sound asleep in the car.
360
00:25:55,089 --> 00:25:57,158
I look out in the park.
361
00:25:57,191 --> 00:26:00,028
There's Harry all alone
in the park,
362
00:26:00,061 --> 00:26:02,463
all red in the face
and out of breath,
363
00:26:02,496 --> 00:26:05,099
and he's just pounding
up and down...
364
00:26:05,133 --> 00:26:09,871
with this huge kite
dragging on the ground
behind him.
365
00:26:11,572 --> 00:26:15,276
Oh, I don't know.
It just really got to me.
366
00:26:15,309 --> 00:26:17,578
Yeah, I know.
367
00:26:17,611 --> 00:26:20,915
Helen has
some nice qualities too.
Who's Helen?
368
00:26:20,949 --> 00:26:22,984
My wife.
369
00:26:23,017 --> 00:26:25,553
You said her name was Phyllis.
370
00:26:28,089 --> 00:26:31,292
No, I lied.
371
00:26:31,325 --> 00:26:34,528
Phyllis! Helen!
What's the difference?
I'm married!
372
00:26:34,562 --> 00:26:37,866
Look, I was nervous.
I was afraid you'd try
to look me up or something.
373
00:26:37,899 --> 00:26:41,269
I didn't want to
leave any clues.
374
00:26:41,302 --> 00:26:45,173
Is your name
really George?
Well, of course it is.
375
00:26:45,206 --> 00:26:48,409
You think I'd lie
about my own name?
376
00:26:48,442 --> 00:26:51,980
Yes.
That would be crazy!
377
00:26:53,014 --> 00:26:56,017
Well, you're pretty crazy.
378
00:27:01,022 --> 00:27:02,823
It's funny, isn't it?
379
00:27:04,325 --> 00:27:07,962
Here we are in a hotel room,
gazing into each other's eyes.
380
00:27:07,996 --> 00:27:12,934
We're both married,
and we have six kids
between us.
381
00:27:12,967 --> 00:27:15,836
Do you have any pictures?
382
00:27:17,238 --> 00:27:19,373
What?
Pictures of your kids.
383
00:27:19,407 --> 00:27:22,310
Yeah, but I don't think
this is the time or place.
384
00:27:22,343 --> 00:27:26,147
Come on, come on.
If you show me yours,
I'll show you mine.
385
00:27:26,180 --> 00:27:30,184
I keep mine
in this little folder
we got free from Kodak.
386
00:27:30,218 --> 00:27:33,387
Where's yours?
You have to take
the whole wallet.
387
00:27:40,194 --> 00:27:42,296
Ahh!
388
00:27:42,330 --> 00:27:44,966
Ohh.
389
00:27:44,999 --> 00:27:48,169
Is that the oldest one
with the glasses
and baggy tights?
390
00:27:48,202 --> 00:27:51,239
Yeah, that's Michael.
Funny-looking kid,
isn't he?
391
00:27:51,272 --> 00:27:54,542
No. What does he
wanna be, Superman?
392
00:27:54,575 --> 00:27:56,911
No, Peter Pan.
393
00:27:56,945 --> 00:27:58,646
I'm kinda worried about him.
394
00:28:01,049 --> 00:28:03,617
Why is this one's face
all scrunched up?
395
00:28:03,651 --> 00:28:06,187
That's Paul.
That was taken
on a roller coaster.
396
00:28:06,220 --> 00:28:08,356
Isn't it natural looking?
397
00:28:08,389 --> 00:28:11,625
Right after that he threw up.
398
00:28:11,659 --> 00:28:14,662
Yeah, he's really, um--
399
00:28:14,695 --> 00:28:17,198
I guess he-- I guess
he takes after Harry.
400
00:28:17,231 --> 00:28:19,167
No, both of us, really.
401
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:23,671
What's your
little girl's name?
Debbie.
402
00:28:23,704 --> 00:28:26,440
That was on her second birthday.
We were trying to get her
to blow out the candles.
403
00:28:26,474 --> 00:28:31,312
She's got her hand
in the cake.
Neat is not her strong suit.
404
00:28:33,247 --> 00:28:35,316
Ohh.
405
00:28:35,349 --> 00:28:38,052
You have
great-looking kids,
George.
406
00:28:38,086 --> 00:28:40,121
Thank you.
So do you.
407
00:28:40,154 --> 00:28:42,056
Thank you.
408
00:29:23,531 --> 00:29:27,535
Okay, but this is the last time.
409
00:29:36,077 --> 00:29:38,179
* Hello
410
00:29:38,212 --> 00:29:42,183
* The seasons
have come and gone *
411
00:29:42,216 --> 00:29:46,154
* And the world
goes tumbling on *
412
00:29:46,187 --> 00:29:52,060
* Look what's happened
since I last saw your smile *
413
00:29:52,093 --> 00:29:54,162
* Hello
414
00:29:54,195 --> 00:29:58,132
* Love's invited us back here *
415
00:29:58,166 --> 00:30:02,170
* The same as she did
last year *
416
00:30:02,203 --> 00:30:04,305
* To come and spend
417
00:30:04,338 --> 00:30:07,141
* A while
418
00:30:07,175 --> 00:30:12,180
* And the last time
I felt like this *
* The very last time
419
00:30:12,213 --> 00:30:14,415
* I was falling in love
420
00:30:14,448 --> 00:30:16,717
* I was falling
421
00:30:16,750 --> 00:30:19,153
* Falling and feeling
422
00:30:19,187 --> 00:30:22,556
* I'd never fall in love again *
423
00:30:22,590 --> 00:30:27,328
* Yes, the last time
I felt like this *
* The very last time
424
00:30:27,361 --> 00:30:29,663
* Was long before I knew
425
00:30:29,697 --> 00:30:32,566
* What I'm feeling
426
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:38,272
* What I'm feeling now
with you **
427
00:30:39,773 --> 00:30:42,210
Be sure and tell me
before you come out.
428
00:30:42,243 --> 00:30:44,145
Right now.
Wait a minute. Not yet.
429
00:30:46,180 --> 00:30:50,151
I'm getting bored.
Okay, come on out.
430
00:30:50,184 --> 00:30:53,821
**
* If I knew you were coming
I'd have baked a cake *
431
00:30:53,854 --> 00:30:56,390
* Baked a cake Baked a cake *
432
00:30:56,424 --> 00:30:59,127
* If I knew you were coming
I'd have baked a cake *
433
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,462
* How d'you do
How d'you do
How d'you do **
434
00:31:01,495 --> 00:31:04,565
That's wonderful.
435
00:31:04,598 --> 00:31:07,401
Happy anniversary, darling.
436
00:31:14,808 --> 00:31:18,379
Blow out the candles
and make a wish.
All right.
437
00:31:20,614 --> 00:31:24,485
What'd you wish?
I only have one wish.
438
00:31:24,518 --> 00:31:27,521
What?
That you keep on
showing up here every year.
439
00:31:30,358 --> 00:31:32,693
What?
You hate my hair,
don't you?
440
00:31:32,726 --> 00:31:35,229
I told you,
I love your hair.
Really?
441
00:31:35,263 --> 00:31:40,234
I don't know. Next time
I'm going to go into the city
to get it done.
442
00:31:40,268 --> 00:31:43,604
How are the suburbs?
Oh, muddy, mostly.
443
00:31:43,637 --> 00:31:47,475
Right now everyone's
very excited.
444
00:31:47,508 --> 00:31:51,279
Next week they're gonna
connect the sewers.
445
00:31:55,649 --> 00:32:00,654
It's not exactly the life
of Scott and Zelda,
but we're surviving.
446
00:32:00,688 --> 00:32:03,224
Uh, let's go over there.
447
00:32:03,257 --> 00:32:06,460
Scott and Zelda, huh?
You started reading.
448
00:32:06,494 --> 00:32:08,662
Oh, you don't know
the half of it.
449
00:32:08,696 --> 00:32:11,599
I've joined
the Book of the Month Club.
Good for you!
450
00:32:11,632 --> 00:32:15,236
Sometimes I even take
the alternate selections.
451
00:32:15,269 --> 00:32:18,739
Thank you.
452
00:32:18,772 --> 00:32:20,908
Good evening,
Mr. Peters, ma'am.
453
00:32:20,941 --> 00:32:22,943
Hello, Mr. Chalmers.
Nice to see you again.
454
00:32:22,976 --> 00:32:24,878
Good to be back.
455
00:32:30,318 --> 00:32:33,254
Well, how 'bout you?
Are you still
in New Jersey?
456
00:32:33,287 --> 00:32:35,256
No. We moved
to Connecticut.
Really?
457
00:32:35,289 --> 00:32:38,926
We bought a barn
and converted it.
Oh, what's it like?
458
00:32:38,959 --> 00:32:41,729
Drafty.
459
00:32:41,762 --> 00:32:44,798
Helen's got
the decorating bug now.
460
00:32:44,832 --> 00:32:47,335
I have this mental picture
of her at my funeral,
461
00:32:47,368 --> 00:32:50,604
as they're closing the lid
to my coffin, throwing in
two fabric swatches...
462
00:32:50,638 --> 00:32:55,443
and yelling out,
"Which one do you like?"
463
00:32:55,476 --> 00:32:59,513
That's the bad story
about her.
What else is new?
464
00:32:59,547 --> 00:33:01,515
Oh, how's Michael?
465
00:33:01,549 --> 00:33:04,852
Crazy as ever.
466
00:33:04,885 --> 00:33:08,622
He had this homework assignment
to write about what he did
on his summer vacation.
467
00:33:08,656 --> 00:33:11,459
Trouble was, he wrote
what he actually did.
What?
468
00:33:11,492 --> 00:33:13,627
Tried to get laid.
469
00:33:13,661 --> 00:33:17,865
He wrote in great
comic detail about
his unfortunate tendency...
470
00:33:17,898 --> 00:33:22,436
to get an erection
on all forms of public
transportation.
471
00:33:22,470 --> 00:33:25,439
The school almost suspended him.
472
00:33:25,473 --> 00:33:27,641
You're crazy about him,
aren't you?
473
00:33:27,675 --> 00:33:31,345
He's a very weird kid, Doris.
474
00:33:31,379 --> 00:33:35,349
You know what?
I think that one
really gets to you.
475
00:33:35,383 --> 00:33:38,218
Come on, now.
Admit it.
476
00:33:40,821 --> 00:33:43,757
All right, I admit it.
He's a nice kid.
477
00:33:43,791 --> 00:33:46,694
There.
Was that so hard?
478
00:33:51,765 --> 00:33:54,735
Mmm.
What was that for?
479
00:33:57,371 --> 00:34:00,007
For everything.
480
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,344
For this.
481
00:34:03,377 --> 00:34:06,380
For one beautiful weekend
every year with no cares,
482
00:34:06,414 --> 00:34:08,716
no ties,
483
00:34:08,749 --> 00:34:10,718
no responsibilities.
484
00:34:16,490 --> 00:34:18,426
Thank you, Doris.
485
00:34:36,844 --> 00:34:38,779
Doris.
486
00:34:44,518 --> 00:34:48,356
Gee, and I just got
all dressed up.
487
00:35:04,972 --> 00:35:06,974
Mmm.
488
00:35:09,943 --> 00:35:14,515
Oh, somebody has
a rotten sense of timing.
489
00:35:17,017 --> 00:35:18,919
Damn.
490
00:35:24,558 --> 00:35:26,460
Hello?
491
00:35:26,494 --> 00:35:29,563
Yes, this is Daddy!
492
00:35:29,597 --> 00:35:32,032
Is there anything wrong?
493
00:35:32,065 --> 00:35:34,034
Funny?
494
00:35:34,067 --> 00:35:38,138
That's probably because
Daddy was just, uh, uh--
495
00:35:38,171 --> 00:35:42,109
I have a frog
in my throat, sweetheart.
496
00:35:42,142 --> 00:35:44,578
Uh... wh--
497
00:35:44,612 --> 00:35:46,714
Oh, it came out, huh?
498
00:35:48,081 --> 00:35:52,920
Ohh. Well, of course
the tooth fairy will come.
499
00:35:54,121 --> 00:35:56,857
Well, tonight, of course.
500
00:35:56,890 --> 00:35:59,993
Well, sweetheart,
I wish Daddy could
find it for you,
501
00:36:00,027 --> 00:36:03,531
but I'm, uh...
I'm working.
502
00:36:05,466 --> 00:36:08,436
Honey, does Mommy
know you called?
503
00:36:09,737 --> 00:36:13,040
Oh, I'll try.
Yes, I love you too,
sweetheart.
504
00:36:13,073 --> 00:36:15,443
Yes, I do!
505
00:36:15,476 --> 00:36:17,478
Very much! Ye--
506
00:36:17,511 --> 00:36:19,880
Okay.
507
00:36:22,583 --> 00:36:24,885
Okay, bye.
508
00:36:24,918 --> 00:36:28,422
Oh, God, I feel so guilty!
509
00:36:28,456 --> 00:36:30,658
Was that Debbie?
510
00:36:30,691 --> 00:36:33,026
Her tooth came out,
and she can't find it,
511
00:36:33,060 --> 00:36:35,596
and she's afraid
the tooth fairy
won't know.
512
00:36:35,629 --> 00:36:39,633
Oh, God, that thin,
reedy little voice!
You know what that does to me?
513
00:36:39,667 --> 00:36:43,571
Sure, that cheerful look
on your face doesn't
fool me for a minute.
514
00:36:43,604 --> 00:36:45,873
You think this is funny?
515
00:36:45,906 --> 00:36:48,742
Doris, my little girl, said,
"I love you, Daddy,"
516
00:36:48,776 --> 00:36:52,112
and I answered her in a voice
still hoarse with passion.
517
00:36:52,145 --> 00:36:55,516
I get the picture, George.
518
00:36:55,549 --> 00:36:58,085
Don't you ever feel guilty?
519
00:36:58,118 --> 00:37:00,721
Sometimes.
Well, you never
say anything.
520
00:37:00,754 --> 00:37:04,692
Well, I just handle it
in a different way.
How?
521
00:37:04,725 --> 00:37:06,694
Privately.
522
00:37:06,727 --> 00:37:09,963
Boy, something like this
really brings you up short.
523
00:37:09,997 --> 00:37:13,834
I mean, look at this.
Look at me. Look.
524
00:37:13,867 --> 00:37:17,871
I tell you, Doris,
when she started talking
about the tooth fairy,
525
00:37:17,905 --> 00:37:21,041
that affected me
in a very profound manner.
526
00:37:21,074 --> 00:37:25,479
On top of which,
I have indigestion
you won't believe.
527
00:37:25,513 --> 00:37:27,715
It hit me that hard, you know?
528
00:37:27,748 --> 00:37:31,251
I have three children too,
you know, George?
529
00:37:31,284 --> 00:37:33,253
What do you want me to do?
530
00:37:33,286 --> 00:37:36,690
It would be terrific
if you stopped talking
about it.
531
00:37:36,724 --> 00:37:40,160
It is only making you
feel worse.
I can't feel worse!
532
00:37:40,193 --> 00:37:42,763
That pure little voice--
No, you're right.
Oh!
533
00:37:42,796 --> 00:37:45,833
No, forget it.
Change the subject.
534
00:37:45,866 --> 00:37:49,236
So t-tell me
about the good story
about Harry.
535
00:37:49,269 --> 00:37:51,171
He went bankrupt.
536
00:37:52,740 --> 00:37:56,710
How can you go bankrupt
selling TV sets?
537
00:37:56,744 --> 00:37:59,980
Harry has one little failing
as a salesman.
538
00:38:00,013 --> 00:38:04,885
It's a compulsion
to talk people out of things
that they can't really afford.
539
00:38:04,918 --> 00:38:07,187
He kind of lacks
the killer instinct.
540
00:38:07,220 --> 00:38:12,125
Actually, it's one
of the things about him
that I like best.
541
00:38:12,159 --> 00:38:14,562
Oh, listen. Something
just occurred to me.
542
00:38:14,595 --> 00:38:18,098
Instead of my leaving at
my usual time, would you mind
if I left a little earlier?
543
00:38:18,131 --> 00:38:21,935
When did you have in mind?
There's a plane
in half an hour.
544
00:38:24,304 --> 00:38:28,308
You want to leave
23 hours early?
545
00:38:28,341 --> 00:38:31,579
There's a connecting flight
from San Francisco
in 90 minutes.
546
00:38:31,612 --> 00:38:33,581
I know how you feel.
Really, I do.
547
00:38:33,614 --> 00:38:37,284
I wouldn't suggest it
if you weren't a mother
and didn't understand.
548
00:38:37,317 --> 00:38:40,220
It wouldn't even occur to me
if-if this crisis
hadn't come up.
549
00:38:40,253 --> 00:38:43,724
I don't mean
just the tooth fairy.
550
00:38:43,757 --> 00:38:46,694
She could have swallowed
the tooth.
551
00:38:46,727 --> 00:38:50,764
It could be lodged
God knows where.
552
00:38:50,798 --> 00:38:54,802
Uh... have you seen
my hairbrush?
553
00:38:54,835 --> 00:38:57,137
Doris, I'm probably
doing you a big favor.
554
00:38:57,170 --> 00:39:01,274
If I did stay, I probably
wouldn't be very good company.
I'm thinking of you too.
555
00:39:01,308 --> 00:39:04,845
With the way I'm feeling--
You probably understand.
556
00:39:19,660 --> 00:39:22,229
You feel somewhat
rejected, right?
557
00:39:24,632 --> 00:39:27,768
I understand.
Really, I do.
558
00:39:27,801 --> 00:39:32,806
I just want you to know
that my leaving has nothing
to do with you and me.
559
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:36,710
This is an emergency!
I have a sick child
at home!
560
00:39:36,744 --> 00:39:38,946
Will you stop!
561
00:39:38,979 --> 00:39:43,851
This has nothing to do
with the goddamn
tooth fairy!
562
00:39:43,884 --> 00:39:45,853
You are simply feeling guilty,
563
00:39:45,886 --> 00:39:49,890
and you wanna get
as far from me as possible.
564
00:39:49,923 --> 00:39:52,826
All right!
I feel guilty, yes!
565
00:39:52,860 --> 00:39:54,828
Is that so strange?
566
00:39:54,862 --> 00:39:56,730
Doris, we're cheating.
567
00:39:56,764 --> 00:39:59,332
Once a year
we lie to our families...
568
00:39:59,366 --> 00:40:01,902
and sneak off to a hotel
in California...
569
00:40:01,935 --> 00:40:04,337
and commit adultery!
570
00:40:04,371 --> 00:40:07,775
Not that I want to
stop doing it.
571
00:40:07,808 --> 00:40:11,812
But yes, I feel guilty.
I admit it.
572
00:40:11,845 --> 00:40:13,814
You admit it?
573
00:40:13,847 --> 00:40:16,116
You take out ads.
574
00:40:16,149 --> 00:40:19,186
I'll bet you stop strangers
on the street!
575
00:40:19,219 --> 00:40:23,156
Y-You probably have
a scarlet "A" embroidered...
576
00:40:23,190 --> 00:40:25,225
on your jockey shorts.
577
00:40:25,258 --> 00:40:27,861
You go around
like an open nerve saying,
578
00:40:27,895 --> 00:40:30,864
"Yes, I'm cheating,
but look how guilty I feel,
579
00:40:30,898 --> 00:40:33,867
so I must really be
a nice guy."
580
00:40:33,901 --> 00:40:38,706
Then-- Then to top it all,
you have the incredible
arrogance...
581
00:40:38,739 --> 00:40:41,909
of thinking you're
the only person in the world
with a conscience.
582
00:40:41,942 --> 00:40:44,344
Well, that doesn't make you
a nice guy, George!
583
00:40:44,377 --> 00:40:48,215
You know what
that makes you?
A horse's ass!
584
00:40:58,959 --> 00:41:03,731
I liked you a lot better
before you joined
the Book of the Month Club.
585
00:41:03,764 --> 00:41:05,799
Yes, I'll just bet you did.
586
00:41:05,833 --> 00:41:09,870
- Look, can we
discuss this in the car?
- The car?
587
00:41:09,903 --> 00:41:13,140
I really hate to ask you,
Doris, but I need a lift
to the airport.
588
00:41:40,968 --> 00:41:45,138
Cheer up, Doris.
It's not the end of the world.
I'm not leaving you permanently.
589
00:41:45,172 --> 00:41:47,841
I'll see you next year.
590
00:41:47,875 --> 00:41:49,843
No, I don't think you will.
591
00:41:49,877 --> 00:41:52,813
Just because I have to
leave early one year,
592
00:41:52,846 --> 00:41:55,849
you're willing to throw away
a lifetime of weekends?
593
00:41:55,883 --> 00:41:57,851
How can you be so casual?
594
00:41:57,885 --> 00:42:01,388
I don't see any point
in going on.
Don't do that to me.
595
00:42:01,421 --> 00:42:04,057
Don't try to manipulate me.
I get enough of that
at home.
596
00:42:04,091 --> 00:42:08,862
What's the sense of meeting
in guilt and remorse, huh?
What joy is there in that?
597
00:42:08,896 --> 00:42:13,967
Look, I have
a commitment there.
And you have none here?
598
00:42:14,001 --> 00:42:17,304
Here? I thought
our only commitment here
was to show up every year.
599
00:42:17,337 --> 00:42:19,306
Nice and tidy, huh?
600
00:42:19,339 --> 00:42:24,211
Just two friendly sex partners
that meet every year
and touch and let go.
601
00:42:24,244 --> 00:42:27,214
Is that it?
So maybe I was
kidding myself.
602
00:42:27,247 --> 00:42:30,150
- I'm human.
- So am I.
603
00:42:30,183 --> 00:42:33,821
But you're different.
You're stronger.
604
00:42:33,854 --> 00:42:35,956
Y-You seem able
to take care of yourself.
605
00:42:35,989 --> 00:42:38,258
Listen, I'm gonna
tell you something.
606
00:42:38,291 --> 00:42:42,495
In the past year,
I've picked up the phone
to call you 10 times.
607
00:42:42,529 --> 00:42:44,898
I couldn't stop
thinking about you.
608
00:42:44,932 --> 00:42:49,336
You kept slipping over
into my real life, and it
scared the hell out of me.
609
00:42:49,369 --> 00:42:52,439
More to the point,
I felt guilty.
610
00:42:52,472 --> 00:42:55,508
So I decided that we
shouldn't see each other
anymore.
611
00:42:55,542 --> 00:42:59,279
I wasn't even going to come,
but I thought at least I
owed you an explanation,
612
00:42:59,312 --> 00:43:01,581
so I came.
613
00:43:01,614 --> 00:43:05,052
When you walked through
the door, I knew I couldn't
go through with it,
614
00:43:05,085 --> 00:43:07,420
that no matter what the price,
615
00:43:07,454 --> 00:43:09,389
I was willing to pay it.
616
00:43:09,422 --> 00:43:13,360
You better get on your plane.
617
00:44:07,014 --> 00:44:10,150
I love you, Doris.
I'm an idiot.
618
00:44:10,183 --> 00:44:12,986
I suspect
I'm deeply neurotic
and I'm no bargain,
619
00:44:13,020 --> 00:44:15,155
but I do love you.
620
00:44:15,188 --> 00:44:17,624
Will you let me stay?
621
00:44:20,493 --> 00:44:25,632
* Oh, the last time
I felt like this *
622
00:44:25,665 --> 00:44:30,137
* I was falling in love
623
00:44:30,170 --> 00:44:32,505
* Falling and feeling
624
00:44:32,539 --> 00:44:35,976
* I'd never fall in love again *
625
00:44:36,009 --> 00:44:40,981
* Yes, the last time
I felt like this *
626
00:44:41,014 --> 00:44:43,984
* Was long before I knew
627
00:44:44,017 --> 00:44:47,654
* What I'm feeling now
628
00:44:47,687 --> 00:44:51,424
* With you
629
00:44:51,458 --> 00:44:57,030
* What I'm feeling now
630
00:44:57,064 --> 00:44:59,933
* With
631
00:44:59,967 --> 00:45:05,005
* You *
632
00:45:13,180 --> 00:45:17,617
No, of course I
haven't left Helen.
633
00:45:17,650 --> 00:45:20,120
I'm on a business trip.
634
00:45:20,153 --> 00:45:22,389
I come up here every year.
635
00:45:24,657 --> 00:45:28,261
I am not running away
from the problem.
636
00:45:28,295 --> 00:45:30,730
Of course I know it's serious.
637
00:45:30,763 --> 00:45:34,667
I still don't think
that's any reason to call me
long distance and try--
638
00:45:36,469 --> 00:45:39,439
Yes, I saw a doctor.
639
00:45:39,472 --> 00:45:42,175
He said-- He said
it's no big deal.
640
00:45:42,209 --> 00:45:47,747
He said every man
has this problem
at one time or another and--
641
00:45:47,780 --> 00:45:51,551
Look, if we have to
discuss this, you might as well
learn to pronounce it correctly.
642
00:45:51,584 --> 00:45:55,288
It's impotence,
not im-po-tence.
643
00:45:59,759 --> 00:46:04,998
It is not something
you have to nip in the bud!
644
00:46:05,032 --> 00:46:07,667
Yes, of-- of course
I'm gonna try to do
something about it.
645
00:46:07,700 --> 00:46:11,771
Would you let me
handle this in my own way?
Would you pl-- May I--
646
00:46:11,804 --> 00:46:14,507
I-- I'm gonna be fine,
all right?
647
00:46:14,541 --> 00:46:18,345
I'm gonna--
I'm gonna be okay.
I can feel it. I know it.
648
00:46:20,447 --> 00:46:22,682
I'm seeing someone out here
who's an expert.
649
00:46:32,825 --> 00:46:36,029
I'm gonna hang up now!
650
00:46:36,063 --> 00:46:37,764
Good-bye, Mother!
651
00:46:42,402 --> 00:46:45,004
Hello, Mr. Chalmers.
Afternoon, ma'am.
652
00:46:57,684 --> 00:46:59,752
George?
653
00:46:59,786 --> 00:47:01,721
Be right out, darling.
654
00:47:27,780 --> 00:47:31,218
**
655
00:47:35,122 --> 00:47:39,126
**
656
00:47:39,159 --> 00:47:41,728
**
657
00:47:41,761 --> 00:47:44,164
How are you, lover?
658
00:47:52,872 --> 00:47:54,674
Guess what.
659
00:47:57,244 --> 00:47:59,379
Oh, my God!
660
00:48:03,650 --> 00:48:06,353
What did you do to yourself?
661
00:48:06,386 --> 00:48:08,555
Well, I can't take
all the credit.
662
00:48:08,588 --> 00:48:11,624
It was sort of a mutual effort.
663
00:48:14,361 --> 00:48:17,430
George, when you haven't seen
an old friend in a whole year,
664
00:48:17,464 --> 00:48:21,234
isn't it customary
to give 'em a kiss hello?
What?
665
00:48:21,268 --> 00:48:23,203
A kiss?
666
00:48:24,471 --> 00:48:27,474
Kiss?
667
00:48:27,507 --> 00:48:30,143
Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry.
668
00:48:30,177 --> 00:48:32,545
Oh. Ohh.
669
00:48:34,614 --> 00:48:36,549
You okay, pal?
Oh, I'm fine.
670
00:48:36,583 --> 00:48:40,620
I'm fine. I'm just
a little surprised.
You're surprised.
671
00:48:40,653 --> 00:48:43,856
I insisted upon visiting
the dead rabbit's grave.
672
00:48:48,295 --> 00:48:52,599
George, how come you're
wearing your robe and pajamas
in the afternoon?
673
00:48:55,702 --> 00:48:58,871
I'm rehearsing
a Noel Coward play.
674
00:49:02,542 --> 00:49:05,745
Is there something on your mind?
675
00:49:05,778 --> 00:49:08,681
Uh, no, not anymore.
No.
676
00:49:12,252 --> 00:49:14,587
You must be
eight months pregnant.
677
00:49:14,621 --> 00:49:16,789
Exactly.
678
00:49:16,823 --> 00:49:19,559
Oh, come on!
It's not all that tragic.
679
00:49:19,592 --> 00:49:24,163
We can find some other way
to communicate.
Great. Great.
680
00:49:25,632 --> 00:49:27,667
You got any ideas?
681
00:49:27,700 --> 00:49:30,603
Is there something else
bothering you?
682
00:49:30,637 --> 00:49:33,840
No. Mm-mmm. No.
683
00:49:35,908 --> 00:49:39,646
Well, you know,
every year it is always
a little awkward...
684
00:49:39,679 --> 00:49:41,648
when we first meet.
685
00:49:41,681 --> 00:49:46,653
We manage to take care of that
with a lot of heavy breathing
between the sheets.
686
00:49:46,686 --> 00:49:48,721
Uh, Doris, uh--
687
00:49:48,755 --> 00:49:51,791
if we're not gonna do it,
do you mind if we don't
talk about it?
688
00:49:51,824 --> 00:49:55,295
No, I just meant maybe
we need something else
to help break the ice.
689
00:49:55,328 --> 00:49:58,665
Well, I'm wide open
to suggestions.
Okay.
690
00:49:58,698 --> 00:50:00,733
How 'bout this?
691
00:50:00,767 --> 00:50:04,704
How about if, uh, if I
tell you some deep, dark
secret about myself...
692
00:50:04,737 --> 00:50:06,773
that I've never
told anyone before,
693
00:50:06,806 --> 00:50:10,677
and then you tell me
some secret about yourself.
694
00:50:10,710 --> 00:50:13,680
- I've had enough surprises.
- You're gonna like this one.
695
00:50:13,713 --> 00:50:16,449
I've been having
sex dreams about you.
696
00:50:16,483 --> 00:50:19,819
Oh, yeah?
Almost every night too.
697
00:50:19,852 --> 00:50:23,623
What kind of sex dreams?
That's what's so strange.
698
00:50:23,656 --> 00:50:25,725
They're always the same.
699
00:50:25,758 --> 00:50:29,929
I mean, we're making love,
but it's always underwater.
700
00:50:30,997 --> 00:50:33,733
It's in caves, grottos,
swimming pools,
701
00:50:33,766 --> 00:50:35,868
but always underwater.
702
00:50:35,902 --> 00:50:37,870
Isn't that weird?
703
00:50:37,904 --> 00:50:40,940
I think it probably
has something to do
with my being pregnant.
704
00:50:40,973 --> 00:50:43,476
Always underwater, huh?
Come on.
705
00:50:43,510 --> 00:50:46,279
You tell me
some deep, dark secret
about yourself.
706
00:50:46,313 --> 00:50:48,247
I can't swim.
707
00:50:50,850 --> 00:50:53,320
I'll start with
the good story about her.
708
00:50:53,353 --> 00:50:55,855
You've never
done that before.
You must be mellowing.
709
00:50:55,888 --> 00:50:59,626
Doris, do you mind?
No, I don't mind.
710
00:50:59,659 --> 00:51:01,761
We went to London,
711
00:51:01,794 --> 00:51:03,963
and as we were checking
into the hotel,
712
00:51:03,996 --> 00:51:06,933
there was a man
in a formal coat
and striped pants...
713
00:51:06,966 --> 00:51:10,870
standing at
the front entrance
of the hotel.
714
00:51:10,903 --> 00:51:14,407
Helen handed him her suitcase
and breezed into the lobby.
715
00:51:14,441 --> 00:51:18,745
The man followed her in and
politely explained that not only
didn't he work at the hotel,
716
00:51:18,778 --> 00:51:22,815
but that he was
the Danish ambassador.
717
00:51:22,849 --> 00:51:25,885
And without
batting an eye,
Helen said,
718
00:51:25,918 --> 00:51:31,324
"Well, that's marvelous!
You can tell us the good places
to eat in Copenhagen."
719
00:51:31,358 --> 00:51:33,059
And he did!
720
00:51:34,694 --> 00:51:37,597
The point is,
it doesn't bother her at all...
721
00:51:37,630 --> 00:51:41,033
if she makes
a total ass of herself.
722
00:51:41,067 --> 00:51:43,736
I really admire that.
723
00:51:46,906 --> 00:51:50,610
And what is it
that you don't admire?
724
00:51:50,643 --> 00:51:53,846
It's that damn
sense of humor of hers.
725
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,450
Good. These are always
the stories I like best.
726
00:52:01,888 --> 00:52:04,391
We'd been to a party,
727
00:52:04,424 --> 00:52:07,427
and we'd had a few drinks.
728
00:52:07,460 --> 00:52:11,498
So we went to bed
and we started making love,
729
00:52:11,531 --> 00:52:14,133
and nothing happened.
730
00:52:14,166 --> 00:52:16,769
I mean, for me.
731
00:52:16,803 --> 00:52:18,771
I mean, I couldn't--
732
00:52:18,805 --> 00:52:21,808
Well, you get the picture.
Yeah. It was no big deal.
733
00:52:21,841 --> 00:52:24,511
I mean, we laughed about it.
734
00:52:24,544 --> 00:52:28,781
Then about a half hour later,
just as I was going to sleep,
735
00:52:28,815 --> 00:52:31,484
Helen turned to me
and said, "It's funny.
736
00:52:31,518 --> 00:52:36,423
When I married a C.P.A.,
I always thought it would be
his eyes that would go first."
737
00:52:47,567 --> 00:52:51,871
Well... she was just
trying to make you
feel better.
738
00:52:51,904 --> 00:52:54,807
Well, it didn't.
Some things aren't funny.
739
00:52:57,944 --> 00:53:01,981
What I'm trying to say is
the thing that bugs me
the most about Helen...
740
00:53:02,014 --> 00:53:03,883
is that she broke my pecker.
741
00:53:09,889 --> 00:53:12,825
- You're impotent.
- Slightly.
742
00:53:13,860 --> 00:53:15,962
That's five people who know.
743
00:53:15,995 --> 00:53:20,199
You, me, Helen
and her mother.
Who's the fifth?
744
00:53:20,232 --> 00:53:25,738
Chet Huntley. I'm sure
her mother has given him
the bulletin for the 6:00 news.
745
00:53:25,772 --> 00:53:28,875
Honey,
when did this happen?
Happen?
746
00:53:28,908 --> 00:53:32,612
Doris, we're not talking
about a throughway accident.
747
00:53:32,645 --> 00:53:37,550
You don't wake up one morning
and say, "Shoot, the family
jewels have gone on the blink."
748
00:53:38,918 --> 00:53:41,454
It's a gradual thing.
749
00:53:41,488 --> 00:53:44,156
And how's Helen reacting to it?
750
00:53:44,190 --> 00:53:46,225
We haven't discussed it much.
751
00:53:46,258 --> 00:53:50,630
I got the impression
she regards it as a lapse
in one's social responsibility.
752
00:53:50,663 --> 00:53:54,767
Rather like letting
your partner down in tennis
by not holding your serve.
753
00:53:56,268 --> 00:53:59,071
I'll be all right.
754
00:53:59,105 --> 00:54:03,175
The patient's not dead,
just resting.
755
00:54:03,209 --> 00:54:06,879
Doris, that statement
hardly calls
for congratulations.
756
00:54:06,913 --> 00:54:09,549
No, I need help getting up.
757
00:54:26,265 --> 00:54:29,902
Is there anything I can say
that would make you feel
any better?
758
00:54:29,936 --> 00:54:33,105
You can say
anything you want except,
"It's all in your head."
759
00:54:33,139 --> 00:54:36,943
I'm no doctor, but I have
a great sense of direction.
760
00:54:38,545 --> 00:54:40,613
What shall we talk about?
761
00:54:40,647 --> 00:54:42,949
Anything but sex.
762
00:54:42,982 --> 00:54:45,284
How do you feel being pregnant?
763
00:54:45,317 --> 00:54:48,020
Oh, catatonic,
764
00:54:48,054 --> 00:54:50,623
incredulous,
765
00:54:50,657 --> 00:54:53,125
angry,
766
00:54:53,159 --> 00:54:56,629
pragmatic and...
767
00:54:56,663 --> 00:54:58,798
finally maternal.
768
00:54:58,831 --> 00:55:01,934
Pretty much in that order.
Your vocabulary
is improving.
769
00:55:01,968 --> 00:55:03,936
Oh, you don't know.
770
00:55:03,970 --> 00:55:06,305
You happen to be speaking
to a high school graduate.
771
00:55:06,338 --> 00:55:08,541
No kidding. How come?
772
00:55:08,575 --> 00:55:12,745
I was confined to my bed
for the first three months
of my pregnancy,
773
00:55:12,779 --> 00:55:16,048
so it shouldn't be
a total loss, I took
a correspondence course.
774
00:55:16,082 --> 00:55:18,250
You're really something,
you know that?
775
00:55:18,284 --> 00:55:22,655
- There's kind of an
ironic twist to all this.
- What?
776
00:55:22,689 --> 00:55:26,659
I didn't graduate
from high school the first time
because I got pregnant.
777
00:55:26,693 --> 00:55:31,097
Now I did graduate
from high school
because I got pregnant.
778
00:55:31,130 --> 00:55:35,067
I don't know.
That kind of appeals
to my sense of order.
779
00:55:35,101 --> 00:55:37,236
Harry still selling real estate?
780
00:55:37,269 --> 00:55:39,606
No. Insurance.
781
00:55:39,639 --> 00:55:41,574
He likes it, though.
782
00:55:41,608 --> 00:55:45,311
Gives him a chance to look up
all his old army buddies.
783
00:55:46,913 --> 00:55:49,348
Are you comfortable
in that position?
784
00:55:49,381 --> 00:55:52,952
When you're in my condition,
you're not comfortable
in any position.
785
00:55:52,985 --> 00:55:55,021
Come on.
Sit over here.
786
00:56:06,165 --> 00:56:08,635
Oh, that's good.
787
00:56:10,036 --> 00:56:12,038
Now, tell me, how are the kids?
788
00:56:12,071 --> 00:56:15,875
They're fine.
Michael just got a job
with the Associated Press.
789
00:56:15,908 --> 00:56:18,611
Really?
Oh, that's terrific!
Isn't that great?
790
00:56:18,645 --> 00:56:21,347
Gee, I feel so proud of him.
791
00:56:30,990 --> 00:56:33,960
What?
792
00:56:33,993 --> 00:56:37,229
George, why are you
looking at me like that?
793
00:56:39,065 --> 00:56:41,901
No reason.
794
00:56:41,934 --> 00:56:44,303
I ju-- It's too--
I was won-- uh--
795
00:56:44,336 --> 00:56:47,039
Fir-First I was try--
Nothing! Forget it.
It's all right.
796
00:56:47,073 --> 00:56:50,877
Just, uh, tell me the--
tell me the other story
about Harry.
797
00:56:50,910 --> 00:56:53,713
You know.
798
00:56:55,114 --> 00:56:59,351
George, what is it?
You're still doing it.
799
00:56:59,385 --> 00:57:02,154
It's obscene!
What is?
800
00:57:02,188 --> 00:57:06,959
When I touched you
just now, I started
to get excited.
801
00:57:06,993 --> 00:57:09,428
What kind of a pervert am I?
802
00:57:09,461 --> 00:57:14,266
Staring at a 200-pound
pregnant woman,
and I'm getting hot.
803
00:57:14,300 --> 00:57:16,969
Well, I'll tell you something.
804
00:57:17,003 --> 00:57:21,407
That is about the nicest thing
anybody's said to me
in months.
805
00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:24,143
It's not funny, Doris.
806
00:57:24,176 --> 00:57:26,412
I really got to ya, huh, fella?
807
00:57:29,315 --> 00:57:32,318
Uh, would you excuse me?
808
00:57:34,386 --> 00:57:37,690
**
809
00:57:54,006 --> 00:57:58,010
That's incredible!
Are you as good as I think
you are?
810
00:57:58,044 --> 00:58:00,046
How good
do you think I am?
Sensational.
811
00:58:00,079 --> 00:58:02,381
I'm not as good
as you think I am.
812
00:58:02,414 --> 00:58:06,385
But that piano's been
sitting here for 10 years,
and you've hardly touched it.
813
00:58:06,418 --> 00:58:09,455
Why tonight?
It beats a cold shower.
814
00:58:09,488 --> 00:58:13,025
You mean, you play
to relieve sexual tension?
815
00:58:13,059 --> 00:58:18,097
You don't even
get this good without
a lot of practice.
816
00:58:18,130 --> 00:58:22,101
You're gonna
be exhausted.
That's the idea.
817
00:58:25,905 --> 00:58:28,474
I've got a better idea.
Come on.
818
00:58:28,507 --> 00:58:32,411
Doris--
Come on. It's all right.
It'll be okay.
819
00:58:32,444 --> 00:58:34,814
But--
But you can't--
820
00:58:34,847 --> 00:58:38,317
Well, I know that.
Well, then how--
821
00:58:38,350 --> 00:58:42,789
Well, we can
work something out,
can't we?
822
00:58:45,524 --> 00:58:47,960
Oh.
What-- What is it?
823
00:58:47,994 --> 00:58:51,497
Aah!
For God's sake, what is it?
824
00:58:51,530 --> 00:58:56,268
Doris, what the hell
is the matter?
825
00:58:56,302 --> 00:59:00,439
If memory
serves me correctly,
I just had a labor pain.
826
00:59:00,472 --> 00:59:04,376
You can't have.
It must be indigestion.
No. There's a difference.
827
00:59:04,410 --> 00:59:07,313
Indigestion doesn't
make your eyes bug out.
828
00:59:09,248 --> 00:59:12,018
You can't be in labor.
When-- When's the baby due?
829
00:59:12,051 --> 00:59:15,187
Not for another month, but--
830
00:59:15,221 --> 00:59:19,091
Oh!
Oh, my God!
What have I done?
831
00:59:19,125 --> 00:59:22,361
What have you done?
I brought this on
with my selfishness.
832
00:59:22,394 --> 00:59:25,397
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
You had nothing
to do with it.
833
00:59:25,431 --> 00:59:29,468
Doris, don't treat me
like a child.
Will you stop getting excited?
834
00:59:29,501 --> 00:59:33,305
Excited?
I thought I had problems
with my sex life before.
835
00:59:33,339 --> 00:59:37,910
Can you imagine what this
is gonna do to it?
Just-- Will you just--
836
00:59:37,944 --> 00:59:40,412
Ohh. Oh,
I think I'd better lie down.
837
00:59:40,446 --> 00:59:43,482
What kind of a man am I?
What kind of a man
would do a thing like this?
838
00:59:43,515 --> 00:59:46,552
May I say something?
Doris, I appreciate
what you're trying to do,
839
00:59:46,585 --> 00:59:49,188
but nothing you can say
would make me feel
any better.
840
00:59:49,221 --> 00:59:53,525
I'm not trying
to make you feel any better.
I'm gonna have a baby.
841
00:59:53,559 --> 00:59:57,830
I know that.
No. I mean now.
842
00:59:57,864 --> 01:00:01,533
I have a history of short labor.
843
01:00:01,567 --> 01:00:03,870
Oh, no! No, no, no!
844
01:00:03,903 --> 01:00:07,506
No, no, no, no!
Oh, no! No!
845
01:00:14,947 --> 01:00:17,884
How do you feel?
846
01:00:20,452 --> 01:00:23,355
Like I'm gonna have a baby.
847
01:00:23,389 --> 01:00:28,027
-Maybe it's a false alarm.
It's a false alarm. That's all.
-No. No.
848
01:00:28,060 --> 01:00:31,864
No. Now, just get ahold
of yourself, honey,
and get on the phone...
849
01:00:31,898 --> 01:00:35,501
and find out
where the nearest hospital is.
850
01:00:35,534 --> 01:00:38,837
Hospital?
You wanna go to a hospital?
851
01:00:40,472 --> 01:00:44,443
George, like it or not,
852
01:00:44,476 --> 01:00:48,347
I am going to have a baby!
853
01:00:48,380 --> 01:00:52,084
But we're not married.
That's going to look odd.
854
01:00:54,153 --> 01:00:58,290
Will you get
on the phone, please,
855
01:00:58,324 --> 01:01:02,461
and find out
where the hospital is!
856
01:01:05,597 --> 01:01:08,500
- Well, where are you going?
- To the bathroom!
857
01:01:08,534 --> 01:01:10,469
Why?
858
01:01:11,503 --> 01:01:14,640
It's hard to explain.
859
01:01:14,673 --> 01:01:18,144
Hello. Mr. Chalmers,
this is George.
860
01:01:18,177 --> 01:01:21,247
Uh, where's
the nearest hospital?
861
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:26,618
Uh, well, it's-- it's my wife.
Something unexpected came up.
862
01:01:26,652 --> 01:01:30,556
She got pregnant,
and now she's gonna
have the baby.
863
01:01:30,589 --> 01:01:33,125
That far?
864
01:01:33,159 --> 01:01:36,062
All right. Look.
Get him on the phone
right away, will ya?
865
01:01:36,095 --> 01:01:39,131
Doris, are you all right?
866
01:01:39,165 --> 01:01:42,634
Doris? Doris,
answer me!
867
01:01:42,668 --> 01:01:46,705
I'm busy!
Oh, Jesus!
868
01:01:46,738 --> 01:01:51,677
Hello? Yes, yes!
Uh, hello. Uh... hello.
869
01:01:51,710 --> 01:01:57,649
Um, I'm here at
the Sea Shadows Inn
just outside of Mendocino.
870
01:01:57,683 --> 01:02:03,555
I was in my room before,
and I heard this groaning
from the next room.
871
01:02:03,589 --> 01:02:08,560
And, um, well,
I knock on the door,
872
01:02:08,594 --> 01:02:13,565
and I found this lady--
who I've never seen before
in my life--
873
01:02:13,599 --> 01:02:16,568
uh, in labor.
874
01:02:19,571 --> 01:02:22,474
Do you have to know that?
875
01:02:25,044 --> 01:02:29,348
George Peters.
So-- George Peters.
Peters.
876
01:02:31,283 --> 01:02:34,553
I don't know.
I didn't time them. Three
or four minutes apart, I guess.
877
01:02:34,586 --> 01:02:36,622
I don't know.
878
01:02:36,655 --> 01:02:39,458
All right.
Uh-- Uh, hold on.
879
01:02:39,491 --> 01:02:42,294
Doris? Doris,
who's your doctor?
880
01:02:42,328 --> 01:02:44,630
Joseph Harrington.
Uh, Joseph Harrington.
881
01:02:44,663 --> 01:02:47,199
In Oakland.
In, uh-- in Oakland.
882
01:02:47,233 --> 01:02:52,538
534-0711.
534-0711.
883
01:02:52,571 --> 01:02:58,210
Um-- Yes, uh, I-I have a car.
I'd be glad to take her
over there.
884
01:02:58,244 --> 01:03:02,514
Sure. Uh, could you--
could you just
answer one question?
885
01:03:02,548 --> 01:03:07,119
Would-- Would
erotic contact in
the last stages of pregnancy...
886
01:03:07,153 --> 01:03:10,656
bring on premature--
887
01:03:10,689 --> 01:03:14,226
No reason.
Just interested.
Just, you know--
888
01:03:14,260 --> 01:03:18,264
Okay. I'll get her right
over there. Okay. Bye.
889
01:03:18,297 --> 01:03:23,569
All right. It's okay. They're
gonna call your doctor, and he's
gonna meet us at the hospital.
890
01:03:23,602 --> 01:03:28,707
We're not gonna make it
to the hospital.
My water just broke.
891
01:03:28,740 --> 01:03:33,679
Oh, my God!
We're gonna have to
find a doctor in the area.
892
01:03:33,712 --> 01:03:37,749
Oh, my-- Ohh, my God.
You look awful!
893
01:03:37,783 --> 01:03:41,453
What if we can't find one?
You're not gonna
faint, are you?
894
01:03:41,487 --> 01:03:45,724
Doris, I'm not a cabdriver!
I don't know how to
deliver babies!
895
01:03:45,757 --> 01:03:50,696
George, this is no time
to start acting
like Butterfly McQueen.
896
01:03:50,729 --> 01:03:53,765
Now, you just get on the phone
and find a doctor.
897
01:04:01,440 --> 01:04:04,076
Ohh.
898
01:04:04,110 --> 01:04:08,680
Hello. Uh, Mr. Chalmers,
where's the nearest doctor?
899
01:04:08,714 --> 01:04:12,251
Well, get-- Look.
Get him on the phone
for me, will you?
900
01:04:12,284 --> 01:04:13,819
This is an emergency.
901
01:04:13,852 --> 01:04:15,321
It's all right.
It's okay.
902
01:04:15,354 --> 01:04:16,322
No! No!
903
01:04:16,355 --> 01:04:18,757
Hold on. Hold on.
It's okay, baby.
904
01:04:18,790 --> 01:04:23,262
This will teach you to fool
around with a married woman!
Shh! What's the matter with you?
905
01:04:23,295 --> 01:04:26,232
Get that down!
Get down! Get down!
Put that down!
906
01:04:26,265 --> 01:04:30,769
Calm down. Relax.
Just keep that down.
Hel--
907
01:04:30,802 --> 01:04:33,672
What do you mean,
his answering service?
908
01:04:33,705 --> 01:04:37,176
W-- No, no.
Wait. Wait a second.
You don't understand.
909
01:04:37,209 --> 01:04:40,712
This is an emergency.
She's in the last stages
of labor!
910
01:04:42,781 --> 01:04:48,554
Well, get in your car
and drive down to
the goddamn pier and get him!
911
01:04:48,587 --> 01:04:52,124
Just get him!
It's okay. It's all right.
912
01:04:52,158 --> 01:04:54,760
Relax.
913
01:04:54,793 --> 01:04:58,897
He's-- The doctor's
on his boat, but he's just
down-- down the road,
914
01:04:58,930 --> 01:05:03,835
and, uh-- and, uh--
Chalmers is gonna drive
down there in his--
915
01:05:03,869 --> 01:05:06,238
God-- in his car
and get him.
916
01:05:06,272 --> 01:05:08,807
He'll be right here.
917
01:05:08,840 --> 01:05:10,742
What?
918
01:05:10,776 --> 01:05:13,779
What? What? What? What?
919
01:05:13,812 --> 01:05:17,549
I feel the baby!
No!
920
01:05:20,586 --> 01:05:23,322
George, I'm scared.
921
01:05:24,890 --> 01:05:28,760
Honey, do something.
922
01:05:31,397 --> 01:05:34,366
- I'll be right back.
- George, don't leave me.
923
01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:37,503
- I'm right here, baby.
I'm right here.
- George!
924
01:05:37,536 --> 01:05:41,507
What are those for?
We're gonna have a baby.
925
01:05:41,540 --> 01:05:44,376
- "We"?
- Yeah, but I'm
gonna need your help.
926
01:05:44,410 --> 01:05:49,915
Give me your hand.
Look into my eyes.
927
01:05:49,948 --> 01:05:53,719
You're gonna be fine.
928
01:05:53,752 --> 01:05:58,390
There's nothing to worry
about. We're together.
Okay.
929
01:05:58,424 --> 01:06:01,693
You think
I play the piano well?
Yeah.
930
01:06:01,727 --> 01:06:05,297
Wait till you see
the way I deliver babies.
931
01:07:22,774 --> 01:07:25,644
Hey, man.
What do ya say?
932
01:07:40,559 --> 01:07:44,330
Mmm. So... wanna fuck?
933
01:07:47,799 --> 01:07:52,904
What?
You didn't
understand the question?
934
01:07:52,938 --> 01:07:57,843
Of course I did.
I just think it's a damned
odd way to start a conversation.
935
01:07:57,876 --> 01:08:01,880
Oh. Gee,
I thought it was
a great little icebreaker.
936
01:08:02,981 --> 01:08:07,486
Aren't you horny
after your long flight?
937
01:08:07,519 --> 01:08:11,056
I didn't fly.
I drove.
From Connecticut?
938
01:08:11,089 --> 01:08:14,693
No. From Los Angeles.
We moved to Beverly Hills
about six months ago.
939
01:08:14,726 --> 01:08:16,962
Ohh. How come?
940
01:08:16,995 --> 01:08:20,499
A number of reasons.
I got tired of standing
knee-deep in the snow...
941
01:08:20,532 --> 01:08:25,003
trying to scrape the ice
off my windshield
with a credit card.
942
01:08:25,036 --> 01:08:28,974
Besides, there are people
here with a lot of money who
don't know what to do with it.
943
01:08:29,007 --> 01:08:32,978
And you tell 'em?
I'm what they call
a business manager.
944
01:08:33,011 --> 01:08:38,016
- How's it goin'?
- Can't complain. Why?
945
01:08:38,049 --> 01:08:41,119
You look kind of shitty.
946
01:08:41,152 --> 01:08:45,056
Is everything all right?
947
01:08:45,090 --> 01:08:50,128
When did you start dressing
like an Indian? You look like
a refugee from the Sunset Strip.
948
01:08:50,161 --> 01:08:53,765
Oh, no. I've gone
back to school-- Berkeley.
949
01:08:53,799 --> 01:08:56,968
Why?
Why?
950
01:08:57,002 --> 01:08:59,638
You mean,
what do I want to be
when I grow up?
951
01:08:59,671 --> 01:09:02,941
Well, you have to admit
it's a bit odd becoming
a schoolgirl at your age.
952
01:09:02,974 --> 01:09:07,813
Hey, listen. You think it's easy
being the only one in your class
with clear skin?
953
01:09:07,846 --> 01:09:12,784
What made you do it?
Actually, it was a dinner party
that made me decide.
954
01:09:12,818 --> 01:09:17,088
Harry's boss invited us over
for dinner, and I just freaked.
Why?
955
01:09:17,122 --> 01:09:21,393
Well, I'd spent so much time
at home with the kids
that I really wasn't sure...
956
01:09:21,427 --> 01:09:26,031
I was capable of carrying on
an intelligent conversation with
anyone over the age of five.
957
01:09:26,064 --> 01:09:30,702
So, anyway, we went,
and I got seated
right next to the boss.
958
01:09:30,736 --> 01:09:34,072
But, you know,
I surprised myself. I mean,
he talked and I talked.
959
01:09:34,105 --> 01:09:36,842
It was just like
a regular conversation.
960
01:09:36,875 --> 01:09:38,910
I thought everything was cool,
961
01:09:38,944 --> 01:09:42,013
till I noticed that
he was looking at me
in kind of a weird way.
962
01:09:42,047 --> 01:09:45,984
I looked down at his plate
and discovered that all the time
we had been talking,
963
01:09:46,017 --> 01:09:50,088
I'd been
cutting up his meat
for him.
964
01:09:53,191 --> 01:09:56,795
That's when I decided
that I'd better get
out of the house.
965
01:09:56,828 --> 01:09:58,897
Yeah, but why school?
Oh, I don't know.
966
01:09:58,930 --> 01:10:04,536
I felt restless and undirected,
and I thought school would
give me some answers.
967
01:10:04,570 --> 01:10:09,641
What sort of answers?
You know,
like where it's really at.
968
01:10:09,675 --> 01:10:13,078
Jesus.
What?
969
01:10:13,111 --> 01:10:15,581
That expression.
970
01:10:15,614 --> 01:10:18,617
Okay.
I wanted to find out
who the hell I am.
971
01:10:18,650 --> 01:10:21,487
You don't get answers
like that from the classroom.
972
01:10:21,520 --> 01:10:23,822
Well, I'm not in
a classroom all the time.
973
01:10:23,855 --> 01:10:26,625
I'll tell ya, the protests
and demonstrations...
974
01:10:26,658 --> 01:10:30,662
are a learning experience
in themselves.
975
01:10:30,696 --> 01:10:34,666
Protests against what?
976
01:10:34,700 --> 01:10:39,004
The war.
Didn't you hear about it?
It was in all the papers.
977
01:10:39,037 --> 01:10:43,041
Demonstrations
aren't gonna stop the war.
978
01:10:43,074 --> 01:10:47,879
Oh, really?
Have you got
a better idea?
979
01:10:50,949 --> 01:10:54,853
Look, I didn't
drive all the way up here
to discuss politics.
980
01:10:58,123 --> 01:11:03,094
Well, so far
you've turned down sex
and politics.
981
01:11:03,128 --> 01:11:06,898
Would you like to try religion?
982
01:11:06,932 --> 01:11:09,968
I think I'll try a Librium.
983
01:11:31,923 --> 01:11:34,826
Jesus.
984
01:11:34,860 --> 01:11:39,998
Ohh. Honey,
why are you so uptight?
985
01:11:40,031 --> 01:11:43,168
That's another expression
I hate.
"Uptight"?
986
01:11:43,201 --> 01:11:48,173
There's no such word.
You remind me
of my mother.
987
01:11:48,206 --> 01:11:50,942
When I was nine,
I asked her
what "fuck" meant.
988
01:11:50,976 --> 01:11:55,013
You know what she said?
"There's no such word."
989
01:11:55,046 --> 01:11:58,784
And now you know there is,
you feel compelled to use it
in every other sentence?
990
01:12:00,619 --> 01:12:04,856
What is bugging you?
"Bugging" me? I'll
tell you what's bugging me.
991
01:12:04,890 --> 01:12:07,125
The blacks
are burning down the cities.
992
01:12:07,158 --> 01:12:10,696
There's a Harvard professor
telling my kids the only way
to happiness...
993
01:12:10,729 --> 01:12:13,331
is to become doped-up zombies.
994
01:12:13,364 --> 01:12:16,267
And I have a teenage son
with hair so long
that from the back,
995
01:12:16,301 --> 01:12:21,006
he looks exactly
like Yvonne De Carlo.
996
01:12:21,039 --> 01:12:25,877
You know that's a sign
of age, don't you?
What is?
997
01:12:25,911 --> 01:12:29,881
When you start worrying
about the declining morality
of the young.
998
01:12:29,915 --> 01:12:33,051
Besides, there is nothing
you can do about it.
999
01:12:33,084 --> 01:12:35,987
We can start
setting some examples.
1000
01:12:36,021 --> 01:12:40,158
As I recall, when you
were a little younger,
1001
01:12:40,191 --> 01:12:42,928
you were not exactly
a monk about that sort
of thing.
1002
01:12:42,961 --> 01:12:45,931
That was different.
1003
01:12:45,964 --> 01:12:49,668
Our relationship is not based
on a casual one-night stand.
1004
01:12:49,701 --> 01:12:52,070
No. It's been
15 one-night stands.
1005
01:12:54,105 --> 01:12:58,176
It's not the same.
We shared things.
1006
01:12:58,209 --> 01:13:01,146
My God. I helped
deliver your child.
Remember?
1007
01:13:01,179 --> 01:13:04,349
Remember?
1008
01:13:04,382 --> 01:13:08,286
I consider that our finest hour.
1009
01:13:13,992 --> 01:13:17,796
- How is she?
- Georgette?
1010
01:13:17,829 --> 01:13:22,067
Ooh, she's very healthy,
very noisy and very spoiled.
1011
01:13:22,100 --> 01:13:24,936
Don't you feel guilty
leaving her alone
when you go to school?
1012
01:13:24,970 --> 01:13:27,005
No. Harry's home a lot.
1013
01:13:27,038 --> 01:13:29,675
How does Harry feel
about all this?
Oh.
1014
01:13:29,708 --> 01:13:32,644
When I told him I wanted
to go back to school
to get some identity,
1015
01:13:32,678 --> 01:13:37,015
he said to me, "You want
identity, go build a bridge,
invent penicillin.
1016
01:13:37,048 --> 01:13:39,718
Just get off my back."
1017
01:13:39,751 --> 01:13:43,421
I always said Harry
had a good head
on his shoulders.
1018
01:13:43,454 --> 01:13:47,659
That was supposed
to be the bad story
about him.
1019
01:13:48,426 --> 01:13:51,296
How's Helen?
1020
01:13:51,329 --> 01:13:54,299
Helen's fine, just fine.
1021
01:13:54,332 --> 01:13:59,671
Hmm. Why don't you
tell me a story that shows
how really rotten she can be?
1022
01:14:00,972 --> 01:14:03,174
That's not like you.
1023
01:14:03,208 --> 01:14:06,344
I know, but it seems
like we need something
to bring us together.
1024
01:14:06,377 --> 01:14:11,416
I thought a really lousy story
about Helen would make you
appreciate me more.
1025
01:14:13,752 --> 01:14:18,456
Okay. As you know,
she has this funny sense
of humor.
1026
01:14:18,489 --> 01:14:21,092
By funny, I take it
you mean peculiar.
Right.
1027
01:14:21,126 --> 01:14:24,796
And it comes out
at the most inappropriate times.
1028
01:14:24,830 --> 01:14:29,467
I had just signed this client--
very proper,
very old money.
1029
01:14:29,500 --> 01:14:33,939
Helen and I were invited
to his house for cocktails
with him and his wife.
1030
01:14:33,972 --> 01:14:36,775
Well, it was all pretty awkward,
1031
01:14:36,808 --> 01:14:40,045
but we managed to get
through the drinks all right.
1032
01:14:40,078 --> 01:14:44,149
Then, as we were leaving,
instead of walking
out the front door,
1033
01:14:44,182 --> 01:14:47,753
I walked into the hall closet.
1034
01:14:47,786 --> 01:14:51,823
Well, that wasn't so bad.
Anybody could've done that.
1035
01:14:51,857 --> 01:14:55,426
My mistake was
I stayed in there.
1036
01:14:56,427 --> 01:15:00,365
You stayed in the closet?
1037
01:15:00,398 --> 01:15:03,434
I wasn't sure anybody
had seen me go in.
Aha.
1038
01:15:03,468 --> 01:15:07,072
I guess I figured
I'd stay in there
until they'd all gone away.
1039
01:15:07,105 --> 01:15:10,942
All right. Maybe
I didn't think things through.
1040
01:15:10,976 --> 01:15:15,881
I was there a minute before
I realized I had probably
misjudged the situation.
1041
01:15:15,914 --> 01:15:19,885
And then when I came out,
the three of them
were just staring at me.
1042
01:15:19,918 --> 01:15:24,923
Well, it was pretty awkward,
but I probably could've carried
it off except for Helen.
1043
01:15:24,956 --> 01:15:28,493
- You know what she did?
- What?
1044
01:15:29,895 --> 01:15:33,464
She peed on the carpet.
1045
01:15:36,401 --> 01:15:40,438
She did what?
Well, not right away.
1046
01:15:40,471 --> 01:15:43,308
First, she started to laugh.
1047
01:15:43,341 --> 01:15:46,845
Her face was all screwed up.
She was holding her sides.
1048
01:15:46,878 --> 01:15:51,749
Tears were streaming
down her cheeks. And then
she peed all over the carpet.
1049
01:15:53,051 --> 01:15:56,087
What did you say?
1050
01:15:56,121 --> 01:15:58,156
I said, "You'll have to
excuse my wife.
1051
01:15:58,189 --> 01:16:01,026
Ever since her last pregnancy,
she's had a problem."
1052
01:16:01,059 --> 01:16:03,795
Then I offered
to have the rug cleaned.
1053
01:16:03,829 --> 01:16:09,200
- Did that help?
- No. They said they had a maid,
and it wouldn't be necessary.
1054
01:16:17,342 --> 01:16:20,846
You think this is funny?
Listen.
1055
01:16:20,879 --> 01:16:25,383
I've been meaning
to tell you this
for a long time.
1056
01:16:25,416 --> 01:16:28,920
I just love Helen.
1057
01:16:31,622 --> 01:16:35,426
Would she come off
any worse if I told you
I lost the account?
1058
01:16:35,460 --> 01:16:39,430
Oh, George, when
did you get so stuffy?
1059
01:16:39,464 --> 01:16:43,468
Stuffy?
Yeah.
1060
01:16:43,501 --> 01:16:47,572
Am I stuffy because
I don't like my wife to
urinate on my client's carpet?
1061
01:16:49,307 --> 01:16:52,543
Well, I didn't mean
just that, honey, but--
1062
01:16:52,577 --> 01:16:57,015
Well, look at you.
You just scream
establishment.
1063
01:16:57,048 --> 01:17:00,618
I am not a faddist.
1064
01:17:00,651 --> 01:17:04,422
- What do you mean?
- I mean I have no desire to
be those middle-aged idiots...
1065
01:17:04,455 --> 01:17:07,893
who walk around
in bell-bottomed trousers
and Prince Valiant haircuts...
1066
01:17:07,926 --> 01:17:10,295
saying "ciao."
1067
01:17:10,328 --> 01:17:15,500
Well, I wasn't just
talking about fashion. I was
talking about your attitudes.
1068
01:17:15,533 --> 01:17:19,004
My attitudes are the same
as they always were.
I haven't changed at all.
1069
01:17:19,037 --> 01:17:23,308
Oh, yes, you have.
You used to be kind of,
well, crazy and insecure...
1070
01:17:23,341 --> 01:17:27,612
and a terrible liar,
but awfully human.
1071
01:17:27,645 --> 01:17:31,382
Now you-- I don't know.
You just seem so sure
of yourself.
1072
01:17:35,921 --> 01:17:39,891
- That's the last thing I am.
- Oh, yeah?
1073
01:17:39,925 --> 01:17:43,594
I picked up one of
Helen's magazines the other day,
and there was this article...
1074
01:17:43,628 --> 01:17:47,933
telling women what sort
of orgasms they should have.
1075
01:17:47,966 --> 01:17:51,236
It was called "The Big 'O.'"
1076
01:17:51,269 --> 01:17:54,139
You know what really
got me about that?
1077
01:17:54,172 --> 01:17:58,076
This was a magazine
my mother used to buy
for its fruitcake recipes.
1078
01:17:58,109 --> 01:18:01,679
Well, the times,
in fact, are a-changing,
darling.
1079
01:18:01,712 --> 01:18:04,582
Too fast.
1080
01:18:06,651 --> 01:18:11,222
I don't know.
Twenty, thirty years ago,
we had standards.
1081
01:18:11,256 --> 01:18:14,659
Maybe they were black
and white, but at least
they were standards.
1082
01:18:14,692 --> 01:18:16,627
Now--
1083
01:18:19,064 --> 01:18:21,967
It's so confusing.
1084
01:18:25,270 --> 01:18:27,405
Well--
1085
01:18:27,438 --> 01:18:31,476
That's at least a step
in the right direction.
1086
01:18:33,144 --> 01:18:36,214
When did I suddenly
become so appealing?
1087
01:18:36,247 --> 01:18:40,218
When you went
from pompous to confused.
1088
01:18:44,990 --> 01:18:48,726
All right.
Now, tell me, sir.
1089
01:18:48,759 --> 01:18:51,096
What's your pleasure?
1090
01:18:51,129 --> 01:18:54,966
A walk by the ocean...
1091
01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:58,436
or a good book...
1092
01:18:58,469 --> 01:19:00,371
or...
1093
01:19:01,772 --> 01:19:04,075
me?
1094
01:19:05,310 --> 01:19:10,048
You.
Oh, I thought
you'd never ask.
1095
01:19:16,087 --> 01:19:18,489
What?
1096
01:19:18,523 --> 01:19:23,061
Doris, you're not wearing a bra.
1097
01:19:23,094 --> 01:19:27,465
George, you're so 40s.
1098
01:19:27,498 --> 01:19:30,135
I'm a very old-fashioned man.
1099
01:19:30,168 --> 01:19:34,172
Next, you'll be
telling me you voted
for Goldwater.
1100
01:19:34,205 --> 01:19:36,174
I did.
1101
01:19:37,275 --> 01:19:40,145
You're putting me on.
1102
01:19:40,178 --> 01:19:43,414
No. Of course not.
1103
01:19:43,448 --> 01:19:45,416
What are you doing?
1104
01:19:45,450 --> 01:19:49,654
If you think I'm going to bed
with any son of a bitch
who voted for Goldwater,
1105
01:19:49,687 --> 01:19:51,756
you're crazy.
1106
01:19:51,789 --> 01:19:55,126
Doris,
don't do this to me.
Not now.
1107
01:19:55,160 --> 01:19:59,197
How could you vote
for a man like that?
Yuck!
1108
01:19:59,230 --> 01:20:03,034
Can we discuss this later?
No. We'll
discuss it right now.
1109
01:20:03,068 --> 01:20:08,139
- Why did you vote for him?
- Because I have a son who wants
to be a rock musician.
1110
01:20:08,173 --> 01:20:12,077
What kind of reason is that?
The best one I can come up
with in my condition.
1111
01:20:12,110 --> 01:20:15,180
I'm sorry, George,
you're gonna have to do
a whole lot better than that.
1112
01:20:15,213 --> 01:20:19,184
All right. He wanted
to end the war, okay?
Sure, by destroying the country.
1113
01:20:19,217 --> 01:20:22,353
He never said that. That's
the trouble with you people.
You never listen.
1114
01:20:22,387 --> 01:20:25,456
It's a civil war.
We have no right being there
in the first place.
1115
01:20:25,490 --> 01:20:28,093
Oh, I'm so sick
of hearing that liberal crap.
1116
01:20:28,126 --> 01:20:31,529
We have the bomb.
Why don't we use it?
Are you serious?
1117
01:20:31,562 --> 01:20:36,201
You're damned right I am.
Wipe the sons of bitches
off the face of the earth.
1118
01:20:36,234 --> 01:20:40,438
Oh, my God!
I don't know anything
about you!
1119
01:20:40,471 --> 01:20:44,509
- What kind of man are you?
- Right now,
a very frustrated one.
1120
01:20:44,542 --> 01:20:49,080
All this time, I thought
I was going to bed
with a liberal Democrat.
1121
01:20:49,114 --> 01:20:51,749
Wait a minute.
You told me you worked
for Stevenson.
1122
01:20:51,782 --> 01:20:54,852
That was years ago.
So what happened?
What changed you?
1123
01:20:54,885 --> 01:20:58,089
I grew up.
Oh, yeah? Well,
as far as I'm concerned,
1124
01:20:58,123 --> 01:21:01,226
you didn't turn out too hot.
1125
01:21:07,198 --> 01:21:10,535
Let's just forget it, huh?
Oh, I'm not gonna forget it!
1126
01:21:10,568 --> 01:21:15,173
I mean, being stuffy
and old-fashioned is one thing,
but being a fascist is another.
1127
01:21:15,206 --> 01:21:18,809
I am not a fascist!
Well, you're
advocating mass murder!
1128
01:21:18,843 --> 01:21:22,413
Let's just drop it.
No, I'm not--
I'm not going to drop it.
1129
01:21:22,447 --> 01:21:24,482
You stand for everything
that I'm against.
1130
01:21:24,515 --> 01:21:28,286
Maybe you're
against the wrong things.
But you used to believe as I do.
1131
01:21:28,319 --> 01:21:30,288
Now, what happened?
I changed!
1132
01:21:30,321 --> 01:21:34,425
But why?
Because Michael
was killed!
1133
01:21:41,299 --> 01:21:43,434
How?
1134
01:21:47,705 --> 01:21:52,710
He was helping a wounded man
onto a Red Cross helicopter,
and a sniper killed him.
1135
01:21:57,515 --> 01:22:00,918
When?
1136
01:22:06,291 --> 01:22:10,161
We got word during
a Fourth of July party.
1137
01:22:14,265 --> 01:22:18,369
Helen went completely to pieces.
1138
01:22:28,313 --> 01:22:33,584
I thought I was in shock
and that I'd feel it later,
you know?
1139
01:22:37,822 --> 01:22:40,725
I never did.
1140
01:22:45,830 --> 01:22:49,400
I've never shed a tear.
1141
01:22:52,237 --> 01:22:56,341
All I've ever
been able to feel
is blind anger.
1142
01:22:58,008 --> 01:23:02,647
I never shed a tear.
1143
01:23:02,680 --> 01:23:05,550
Isn't that something?
1144
01:23:08,253 --> 01:23:12,923
He was my son.
I love him.
1145
01:23:15,260 --> 01:23:19,364
And for the life of me...
1146
01:23:22,833 --> 01:23:25,636
I can't seem to cry for him.
1147
01:23:25,670 --> 01:23:27,472
Oh.
1148
01:23:41,018 --> 01:23:44,455
Doris, I'm sorry.
No.
1149
01:23:46,291 --> 01:23:49,527
About--
About everything.
1150
01:23:54,365 --> 01:23:58,803
I've been a bit on edge lately.
1151
01:24:00,405 --> 01:24:04,342
Just seems
to be one damn--
1152
01:24:31,802 --> 01:24:35,940
* Dreams make promises
1153
01:24:35,973 --> 01:24:39,043
* They can't keep
1154
01:24:39,076 --> 01:24:41,546
* They can swindle you
1155
01:24:41,579 --> 01:24:45,483
* While you sleep
1156
01:24:45,516 --> 01:24:50,321
* And the morning finds you *
1157
01:24:50,355 --> 01:24:54,792
* Wondering why
1158
01:24:54,825 --> 01:24:57,462
* It seems
1159
01:24:57,495 --> 01:25:02,733
* When we're young
in dreams we trust *
1160
01:25:02,767 --> 01:25:08,373
* Maybe growing up is just *
1161
01:25:08,406 --> 01:25:12,009
* Kissing certain dreams
1162
01:25:12,042 --> 01:25:16,481
* Good-bye *
1163
01:25:16,514 --> 01:25:22,420
You know, it's amazing
how good it can be
after 21 years, isn't it?
1164
01:25:24,455 --> 01:25:29,860
Well, if you add up
all the times we actually
made it together,
1165
01:25:30,928 --> 01:25:34,031
we're still on our honeymoon.
1166
01:25:36,066 --> 01:25:40,505
Did I tell you
I'm a grandmother?
No.
1167
01:25:40,538 --> 01:25:43,073
But I think
you picked a weird time
to announce it.
1168
01:25:46,176 --> 01:25:49,747
Congratulations.
Thank you.
1169
01:25:49,780 --> 01:25:54,485
Anyway, you're
the youngest-looking grandmother
I've had a peak experience with.
1170
01:25:54,519 --> 01:25:58,155
Well, my mother thanks you.
My father thanks you.
1171
01:25:58,188 --> 01:26:02,927
My hairdresser thanks you.
And my plastic surgeon
thanks you.
1172
01:26:04,862 --> 01:26:10,935
When Harry says,
"You're not the girl I married,"
he doesn't know how right he is.
1173
01:26:10,968 --> 01:26:13,771
Didn't Harry like your old nose?
1174
01:26:13,804 --> 01:26:16,941
Harry thinks
this is my old nose.
1175
01:26:16,974 --> 01:26:19,844
He never noticed?
No.
Isn't that pathetic?
1176
01:26:19,877 --> 01:26:24,549
I mean, a new dress
or something, I could
understand, but a whole nose?
1177
01:26:24,582 --> 01:26:27,685
Well, to be totally honest,
I don't see any difference
either.
1178
01:26:27,718 --> 01:26:31,756
Well, I don't care.
It's sure different
from my side.
1179
01:26:31,789 --> 01:26:35,192
Makes me feel more attractive.
1180
01:26:35,225 --> 01:26:38,663
Anyway, that's this year's
bad story about Harry.
1181
01:26:38,696 --> 01:26:41,532
Have you got one about Helen?
1182
01:26:41,566 --> 01:26:45,603
Well, there was
this loud party next door.
1183
01:26:45,636 --> 01:26:48,706
Helen couldn't sleep.
1184
01:26:48,739 --> 01:26:52,610
And, uh, she didn't wanna
take a sleeping pill...
1185
01:26:52,643 --> 01:26:57,848
because
she had to get up at 6:00
in the morning.
1186
01:26:57,882 --> 01:27:01,986
So she took a couple
of pills and stuffed them
in her ears.
1187
01:27:02,019 --> 01:27:04,655
What?
1188
01:27:04,689 --> 01:27:07,792
During the night,
the pills melted.
1189
01:27:07,825 --> 01:27:11,195
Then the next day, while
the doctor was digging the stuff
out of her ears,
1190
01:27:11,228 --> 01:27:15,533
he said, "You know,
these can be taken orally."
1191
01:27:17,234 --> 01:27:21,071
Helen just laughed.
She didn't care.
1192
01:27:21,105 --> 01:27:24,775
I'll tell you something.
If that's the worst story
you can tell about your wife,
1193
01:27:24,809 --> 01:27:27,077
you must be a very happy man.
1194
01:27:27,111 --> 01:27:30,214
Well, let's just say
I've discovered the potential
for happiness.
1195
01:27:38,989 --> 01:27:41,826
Yes, Liz?
1196
01:27:43,628 --> 01:27:47,632
No, honey.
It's 60 guests, not 16.
1197
01:27:49,800 --> 01:27:54,605
There's no problem.
We've catered parties
for her lots of times. It--
1198
01:27:54,639 --> 01:27:57,241
I know,
but she puts little tables
around her swimming pool,
1199
01:27:57,274 --> 01:28:00,745
and then there's room
on the patio for the buffet.
1200
01:28:00,778 --> 01:28:03,781
Right.
It's a brunch.
1201
01:28:03,814 --> 01:28:07,885
Right. That's okay.
Sure.
1202
01:28:07,918 --> 01:28:10,821
Uh, Liz, did Harry call?
1203
01:28:15,626 --> 01:28:18,829
Okay. You know
where to reach me, huh?
1204
01:28:22,833 --> 01:28:26,837
I'm sorry.
It was a busy weekend,
and I had to leave a number.
1205
01:28:26,871 --> 01:28:31,742
Does Harry know you're here?
No. Harry still thinks
I go on retreat.
1206
01:28:31,776 --> 01:28:33,744
Don't worry.
1207
01:28:33,778 --> 01:28:37,181
I'm not worried.
Yeah? Then why
are you frowning?
1208
01:28:37,214 --> 01:28:40,818
I'm getting bad vibes again.
Again?
1209
01:28:40,851 --> 01:28:46,123
Yeah. When you first
walked in, I picked up
on your high tension level.
1210
01:28:46,156 --> 01:28:49,259
Then after we made love,
I sensed a certain
anxiety reduction,
1211
01:28:49,293 --> 01:28:54,799
but, uh, now I'm getting
definite negative feedback.
1212
01:28:54,832 --> 01:28:56,901
When did you go into analysis?
1213
01:28:56,934 --> 01:29:01,205
- How did you know
I was in analysis?
- Just a wild guess.
1214
01:29:01,238 --> 01:29:04,642
What made you start?
1215
01:29:04,675 --> 01:29:08,979
My value system changed.
One day, I took a look
at my $150,000 house...
1216
01:29:09,013 --> 01:29:14,685
and the three cars in the garage
and the swimming pool
and the gardeners,
1217
01:29:14,719 --> 01:29:17,955
and I asked myself, "Why?"
1218
01:29:17,988 --> 01:29:21,926
I mean, did I really
want the whole status trip?
1219
01:29:21,959 --> 01:29:26,631
So I decided to try
to find out what I did want
and who I was.
1220
01:29:26,664 --> 01:29:29,967
So you went from analysis
to Esalen to Gestalt...
1221
01:29:30,000 --> 01:29:34,371
to encounter groups
to transactional
to nirvana, huh?
1222
01:29:34,404 --> 01:29:38,008
Just because some people
are trying to widen
their emotional horizons...
1223
01:29:38,042 --> 01:29:40,611
doesn't make the experience
any less valid.
1224
01:29:40,645 --> 01:29:43,013
I've learned a lot.
So I've noticed.
1225
01:29:43,047 --> 01:29:47,017
For one thing, you've learned
to talk as though you're
reasoning with somebody...
1226
01:29:47,051 --> 01:29:50,020
about to jump from a high ledge.
1227
01:29:50,054 --> 01:29:54,792
Okay, okay. I know sometimes
I tend to overcompensate
for my emotionalism.
1228
01:29:56,894 --> 01:30:00,731
Occasionally,
there's a loss of spontaneity.
I'm working on that.
1229
01:30:00,765 --> 01:30:04,902
Well, I'm glad to hear it.
What else have you learned?
1230
01:30:06,937 --> 01:30:10,374
That behind the walls
I've built around myself,
1231
01:30:10,407 --> 01:30:14,144
I'm a warm, caring,
loving human being.
1232
01:30:14,178 --> 01:30:17,848
Well, I could've
told you that 20 years ago.
1233
01:30:19,850 --> 01:30:24,021
Tell me. How's Helen
reacting to your voyage
of self-discovery?
1234
01:30:24,054 --> 01:30:27,658
Well, at first,
she tended to overreact.
Oh, yeah? In what way?
1235
01:30:27,692 --> 01:30:30,928
She threw a grapefruit
at me in the supermarket.
1236
01:30:30,961 --> 01:30:36,400
Listen. It's only natural that
there'd be some interpersonal
conflicts to work through,
1237
01:30:36,433 --> 01:30:39,770
but now it's cool.
1238
01:30:39,804 --> 01:30:43,908
- Helen's into pottery.
- Oh. And what are you doing
for a living?
1239
01:30:43,941 --> 01:30:47,044
- **
- We live very simply,
Doris.
1240
01:30:47,077 --> 01:30:52,883
We don't need much. What bread
we do need, I can provide
by simple, honest labor.
1241
01:30:52,917 --> 01:30:56,120
Like what?
I play cocktail piano
in a singles bar in the Valley.
1242
01:31:06,130 --> 01:31:08,966
Yes, Liz?
1243
01:31:13,070 --> 01:31:17,274
No. No.
Tell 'em that's
our final offer.
1244
01:31:17,307 --> 01:31:20,044
Oh, that's a lot of bull.
I know it's a good piece
of property,
1245
01:31:20,077 --> 01:31:24,014
but he needs us
more than we need him.
1246
01:31:24,048 --> 01:31:28,452
Well, if he doesn't like it,
tell him to shove it.
And don't worry. He won't.
1247
01:31:30,387 --> 01:31:34,324
Okay, hon. Thanks.
Anything else?
1248
01:31:34,358 --> 01:31:37,494
All right. Well,
I'll be at this number.
1249
01:31:37,527 --> 01:31:39,930
Okay.
1250
01:31:41,065 --> 01:31:44,735
I'm buying another store.
Why?
1251
01:31:44,769 --> 01:31:48,973
- Money.
- Is that why you went
into business? To make money?
1252
01:31:49,006 --> 01:31:54,078
No. I wanted power too.
I take it you are
for women's liberation?
1253
01:31:54,111 --> 01:31:58,148
- Hey, I'm for any kind
of liberation.
- That's a cop-out.
1254
01:31:58,182 --> 01:32:01,919
Women have always been exploited
by men, and you know it.
1255
01:32:01,952 --> 01:32:07,825
Doris, we've all been shafted,
and by the same things.
1256
01:32:07,858 --> 01:32:12,096
Look. Let me
lay this on you.
I go to a woman doctor.
1257
01:32:12,129 --> 01:32:15,365
Oh, yeah?
First time she
gave me a rectal examination,
1258
01:32:15,399 --> 01:32:19,970
she said,
"Am I hurting you
or are you tense?"
1259
01:32:20,004 --> 01:32:24,208
I said, "I'm tense."
She said, "Are you tense
because I'm a woman?"
1260
01:32:24,241 --> 01:32:28,478
I said, "No. I get tense
when anybody does that
to me."
1261
01:32:28,512 --> 01:32:31,882
See what I mean?
Well, I don't know
about that,
1262
01:32:31,916 --> 01:32:35,085
but I do know
in this country, nobody
takes a woman seriously...
1263
01:32:35,119 --> 01:32:38,155
until she has enough money
to back up her mouth.
1264
01:32:38,188 --> 01:32:40,557
Hey, I think
it's great to have a hobby.
1265
01:32:40,590 --> 01:32:43,560
A hobby?
1266
01:32:43,593 --> 01:32:47,197
We grossed
a half million
the first year.
1267
01:32:47,231 --> 01:32:51,501
Doris, don't misunderstand me.
If that's what you want,
I'm very happy for you.
1268
01:32:52,937 --> 01:32:56,073
I'm just not
into the money thing anymore.
1269
01:32:57,441 --> 01:33:00,911
Do you ever
get the feeling
that we're drifting apart?
1270
01:33:00,945 --> 01:33:04,281
No. In many ways,
I've never felt closer
to you.
1271
01:33:04,314 --> 01:33:10,187
I don't know.
Somehow it seems to me
our lives are out of synch.
1272
01:33:10,220 --> 01:33:14,424
Look. We all realize
our potential in different ways
at different times.
1273
01:33:14,458 --> 01:33:17,962
The important thing is,
does what you do give you
a sense of fulfillment?
1274
01:33:17,995 --> 01:33:21,866
Well, I'm working on it.
And you have everything
you want?
1275
01:33:21,899 --> 01:33:24,835
With one minor exception.
1276
01:33:24,869 --> 01:33:29,606
Somewhere along the way,
I seem to have
lost my husband.
1277
01:33:29,639 --> 01:33:34,144
- Lost him?
- Well, I don't know
if I lost him...
1278
01:33:34,178 --> 01:33:36,480
or I simply misplaced him.
1279
01:33:36,513 --> 01:33:40,985
He left home four days ago,
and I haven't heard
from him since.
1280
01:33:41,018 --> 01:33:45,389
How do you feel
about that?
George, do me a favor.
1281
01:33:45,422 --> 01:33:50,527
Stop talking as though you're
leading a human potential group.
It really pisses me off.
1282
01:33:50,560 --> 01:33:53,597
That's cool.
What's cool?
1283
01:33:53,630 --> 01:33:57,868
For you to transfer
your feelings of hostility
and aggression from Harry to me.
1284
01:33:57,902 --> 01:34:01,271
As long as you know
that's what you're doing.
You know something?
1285
01:34:01,305 --> 01:34:04,141
You're really beginning
to get on my nerves.
1286
01:34:04,174 --> 01:34:07,411
That's cool too.
Jesus.
1287
01:34:07,444 --> 01:34:13,417
I mean it. At least it's honest.
Total honesty is the key
to everything.
1288
01:34:13,450 --> 01:34:15,619
Really?
Are you being
totally honest with Helen?
1289
01:34:15,652 --> 01:34:20,324
- I'm trying.
- Oh, yeah? Have you told her
about us?
1290
01:34:20,357 --> 01:34:23,560
No, but I could. I think
today she's mature enough
to handle it.
1291
01:34:23,593 --> 01:34:25,629
George, you're full of shit.
1292
01:34:30,334 --> 01:34:33,670
I can buy that.
1293
01:34:33,703 --> 01:34:37,374
I mean,
if you're being
totally honest.
1294
01:34:37,407 --> 01:34:41,278
Believe me. I am
being totally honest.
1295
01:34:43,547 --> 01:34:46,550
Well, at least it's a start.
1296
01:34:46,583 --> 01:34:49,686
And what about
all that other garbage?
1297
01:34:49,719 --> 01:34:53,457
"I don't know if I lost him
or simply misplaced him."
1298
01:34:53,490 --> 01:34:58,662
What kind of crap is that?
All right.
You've got a point.
1299
01:34:58,695 --> 01:35:02,466
So how do you feel
about all this?
You're doing it again!
1300
01:35:02,499 --> 01:35:06,636
Okay. I think--
Don't tell me how you think.
1301
01:35:06,670 --> 01:35:10,640
Tell me how you feel.
1302
01:35:10,674 --> 01:35:14,078
Like I've been kicked
in the stomach.
1303
01:35:14,111 --> 01:35:16,280
What else?
1304
01:35:17,681 --> 01:35:23,687
Angry. Hurt. Betrayed.
1305
01:35:23,720 --> 01:35:27,091
And, okay, a little guilty.
But I'll tell you something.
1306
01:35:27,124 --> 01:35:30,194
I really resent the fact
that he's making me
feel guilty.
1307
01:35:30,227 --> 01:35:32,629
Why do you feel resentment?
1308
01:35:32,662 --> 01:35:36,733
Well, look.
I didn't marry Harry because
he had a good head for business.
1309
01:35:36,766 --> 01:35:41,105
Okay. So it turns out
that I do, or maybe I was lucky.
I don't know.
1310
01:35:41,138 --> 01:35:47,044
The point is, I don't love him
any less just 'cause
he's a failure as a provider,
1311
01:35:47,077 --> 01:35:51,615
so why should
he love me less just 'cause
I'm a success?
1312
01:35:51,648 --> 01:35:54,518
Have you told him
you still love him?
Love him.
1313
01:35:56,353 --> 01:36:00,157
What's he think
I've been hanging around
for 27 years for?
1314
01:36:00,190 --> 01:36:03,693
Would it be so hard
to let him know you understand
how he feels?
1315
01:36:03,727 --> 01:36:06,596
Right now it would, yes.
1316
01:36:06,630 --> 01:36:09,133
Do you want him back?
1317
01:36:10,634 --> 01:36:14,104
I don't know.
1318
01:36:14,138 --> 01:36:18,375
But ask me again tomorrow,
and I'll probably
give you a different answer.
1319
01:36:18,408 --> 01:36:20,244
Why?
1320
01:36:22,546 --> 01:36:25,649
Because tomorrow
I won't have you.
1321
01:36:32,189 --> 01:36:37,061
- I'm always with you
in spirit.
- Thanks a lot.
1322
01:36:37,094 --> 01:36:41,431
It's kind of difficult
to put your cold feet
on somebody's spirit,
1323
01:36:41,465 --> 01:36:44,501
especially when
they're 400 miles away.
1324
01:36:48,838 --> 01:36:53,643
Is that a proposal, Doris?
1325
01:36:53,677 --> 01:36:58,348
Are you interested?
Are you?
1326
01:37:01,151 --> 01:37:04,188
I've always thought
we'd make a nice couple.
1327
01:37:05,555 --> 01:37:07,724
You didn't answer the question.
1328
01:37:07,757 --> 01:37:11,361
I was the one who proposed.
1329
01:37:14,364 --> 01:37:17,401
Well, don't look
so panicky, George.
1330
01:37:17,434 --> 01:37:21,138
I was only
three-quarters serious.
1331
01:37:25,509 --> 01:37:29,246
Well, when
you're completely serious,
ask me again.
1332
01:37:29,279 --> 01:37:33,383
I bet you say that
to all the girls.
1333
01:37:33,417 --> 01:37:35,319
No.
1334
01:37:40,457 --> 01:37:44,394
Thank you.
You hungry?
1335
01:37:44,428 --> 01:37:47,697
Yes.
Well, you're in luck.
1336
01:37:47,731 --> 01:37:52,402
Because today,
your lunch is being catered
by the chicest,
1337
01:37:52,436 --> 01:37:56,340
most expensive
French delicatessen
in all of San Francisco.
1338
01:37:56,373 --> 01:38:00,277
How did we swing that?
The owner's
got a thing for ya.
1339
01:38:00,310 --> 01:38:03,113
It's out in the trunk
of my car.
Can I help?
1340
01:38:03,147 --> 01:38:06,350
Why, you could
set the table and
turn on some nice music...
1341
01:38:06,383 --> 01:38:08,418
and when I come back,
make me laugh, huh?
1342
01:38:08,452 --> 01:38:11,221
I'll try.
Don't worry.
1343
01:38:11,255 --> 01:38:15,091
If you can't
make me laugh,
just hold my hand.
1344
01:38:36,846 --> 01:38:39,649
Hello?
1345
01:38:39,683 --> 01:38:43,420
Uh, no, she's not here
right now. Who's this?
1346
01:38:45,922 --> 01:38:48,892
Harry? Um--
1347
01:38:48,925 --> 01:38:53,797
Uh, would you--
would you just hold on
for a minute, please?
1348
01:39:07,744 --> 01:39:09,746
Hello?
1349
01:39:11,448 --> 01:39:15,652
Harry, we're two
mature adult human beings,
and I've decided to be honest.
1350
01:39:17,754 --> 01:39:21,691
No. Doris is not here
right now, but I'd like
to talk to you.
1351
01:39:23,593 --> 01:39:27,864
Because I know that you
and Doris are having a pretty
rough time right now, and--
1352
01:39:30,334 --> 01:39:33,770
Uh, we're very close friends.
1353
01:39:33,803 --> 01:39:37,774
I've known Doris
for 20 years, and I feel
that through her, I know you.
1354
01:39:41,478 --> 01:39:44,948
We've been meeting
this same weekend
for 20 years.
1355
01:39:48,952 --> 01:39:52,856
The retreat?
Uh, yeah.
1356
01:39:52,889 --> 01:39:56,993
I'll, uh--
I'll get to that
in a minute, but, um,
1357
01:39:57,026 --> 01:40:00,397
first I'd like
to tell you something,
Harry.
1358
01:40:00,430 --> 01:40:03,267
She loves you.
1359
01:40:03,300 --> 01:40:08,572
Well, I just know. Look.
Maybe if I told you a story
she told me this morning,
1360
01:40:08,605 --> 01:40:11,341
maybe it would help you
understand.
1361
01:40:11,375 --> 01:40:16,713
Uh, a few months ago,
Doris was supposed to act
as den mother...
1362
01:40:16,746 --> 01:40:20,984
for your 10-year-old daughter
and her Indian Guide group.
1363
01:40:21,017 --> 01:40:25,522
And Doris
was a little late.
She was hung up at the store,
1364
01:40:25,555 --> 01:40:27,891
and she got home
about two hours late.
1365
01:40:27,924 --> 01:40:33,363
When she walked into the house,
she looked in the living room,
and you know what she saw?
1366
01:40:33,397 --> 01:40:37,601
A rather overweight,
balding, middle-aged man
with a feather on his head...
1367
01:40:37,634 --> 01:40:41,771
sitting cross-legged
on the floor, very gravely
and gently...
1368
01:40:41,805 --> 01:40:45,509
telling a circle
of totally absorbed girls
what it was like...
1369
01:40:45,542 --> 01:40:49,479
to be in a World War II
Japanese prison camp.
1370
01:40:51,415 --> 01:40:55,785
And she turned around
and went outside
and got in her car...
1371
01:40:55,819 --> 01:40:59,723
and thanked God
for being married to a man
like you.
1372
01:41:04,728 --> 01:41:07,964
Are you still there, Harry?
1373
01:41:09,899 --> 01:41:15,905
Yeah, well, look.
Sometimes married people get
into an emotional straitjacket,
1374
01:41:15,939 --> 01:41:20,810
and it's kind of hard
for them to express how they
truly feel about each other.
1375
01:41:26,616 --> 01:41:30,987
Total honesty is the key.
1376
01:41:31,020 --> 01:41:33,590
Yes, I've known Doris
for 20 years,
1377
01:41:33,623 --> 01:41:36,793
and I'm not ashamed to admit
that it's been one
of the most intimate,
1378
01:41:36,826 --> 01:41:40,730
satisfying experiences
of my life.
1379
01:41:41,831 --> 01:41:44,000
My name?
1380
01:41:48,037 --> 01:41:52,676
My name is
Father Michael O'Herlihy.
1381
01:41:52,709 --> 01:41:56,980
Right. Oh.
1382
01:42:50,567 --> 01:42:53,870
It never changes, does it?
About the only thing
that doesn't.
1383
01:42:53,903 --> 01:42:57,574
I find that comforting.
1384
01:42:57,607 --> 01:43:00,410
Even old Chalmers
hasn't changed.
1385
01:43:00,444 --> 01:43:03,680
He must be 75 by now.
1386
01:43:03,713 --> 01:43:09,453
You remember when we first met?
Even then, we called him
old Chalmers.
1387
01:43:09,486 --> 01:43:12,088
He must've been
the same age then
that we are now.
1388
01:43:12,121 --> 01:43:15,859
That I don't find so comforting.
1389
01:43:15,892 --> 01:43:18,862
We were very young.
Yeah.
1390
01:43:18,895 --> 01:43:22,799
Have we changed much?
Oh, sure we have.
1391
01:43:22,832 --> 01:43:27,203
I grew up with you.
Remember all those dumb lies
I used to tell?
1392
01:43:27,236 --> 01:43:31,174
Yeah. How about me?
Have I grown up too?
1393
01:43:31,207 --> 01:43:35,479
I had the feeling
you were already grown up
when we met.
1394
01:43:39,783 --> 01:43:42,719
Why is it every time
I look at you, I want
to put my hands all over you?
1395
01:43:42,752 --> 01:43:47,657
That's another thing
that hasn't changed.
You always were a sex maniac.
1396
01:43:52,796 --> 01:43:56,700
I'll start a fire.
Okay.
1397
01:43:56,733 --> 01:43:59,035
You know,
I figured out with the cost
of firewood today,
1398
01:43:59,068 --> 01:44:03,873
it's cheaper
to buy furniture,
break it up and burn it.
1399
01:44:03,907 --> 01:44:07,811
Are things that tight?
No. I'm okay.
1400
01:44:07,844 --> 01:44:11,047
I've been doing
some teaching at U.C.L.A.
Ah.
1401
01:44:11,080 --> 01:44:15,151
What? Music?
Accounting.
1402
01:44:15,184 --> 01:44:17,687
With the way things
are happening out there,
1403
01:44:17,721 --> 01:44:21,224
it seems that figures
are still the only things
that don't lie.
1404
01:44:23,893 --> 01:44:25,729
Doris, why'd you
sell your business?
1405
01:44:27,764 --> 01:44:31,568
How did you know
about that?
I'll tell you later.
1406
01:44:31,601 --> 01:44:36,039
What made you do it?
A chain bought me out.
1407
01:44:36,072 --> 01:44:39,576
It was just the right offer
at the right time.
1408
01:44:39,609 --> 01:44:45,181
But what do you do
with yourself now?
Oh, I read and watch TV...
1409
01:44:45,214 --> 01:44:49,986
and visit my grandchildren,
play a little golf.
1410
01:44:50,019 --> 01:44:53,723
You know, all the jet set stuff.
1411
01:44:53,757 --> 01:44:56,526
I thought you loved working.
1412
01:44:56,560 --> 01:44:59,696
Well, there was another factor.
1413
01:44:59,729 --> 01:45:03,099
Harry had a heart attack.
It turned out
to be a mild one,
1414
01:45:03,132 --> 01:45:06,269
but he needed me
at the time, so--
1415
01:45:06,302 --> 01:45:09,839
Besides,
it's not like I'm
in permanent retirement.
1416
01:45:09,873 --> 01:45:14,277
There's a local election
in a couple of months, and
I've been approached to run.
1417
01:45:14,310 --> 01:45:17,747
On what ticket?
Independent.
1418
01:45:17,781 --> 01:45:20,183
Figures.
1419
01:45:20,216 --> 01:45:22,752
Harry's okay now?
Oh, yeah.
1420
01:45:22,786 --> 01:45:27,190
He runs four miles a day
and has a body
like Mark Spitz.
1421
01:45:27,223 --> 01:45:32,161
Unfortunately,
he still has a face
like Ernest Borgnine, but--
1422
01:45:35,098 --> 01:45:40,069
How's everything
with you and Harry
emotionally?
1423
01:45:43,740 --> 01:45:46,743
Comfortable.
Comfortable?
1424
01:45:46,776 --> 01:45:49,746
Well, that's
not such a bad state
to be in.
1425
01:45:49,779 --> 01:45:53,683
That word's been given
a bad reputation
by the young.
1426
01:45:55,384 --> 01:45:59,288
Where's your luggage?
Still in the car?
1427
01:45:59,322 --> 01:46:03,092
I didn't bring any.
I can't stay.
1428
01:46:04,761 --> 01:46:07,831
Why not?
Look, I have a lot
to say...
1429
01:46:07,864 --> 01:46:13,102
and a very short time
to say it, so I'd
better start.
1430
01:46:13,136 --> 01:46:16,072
In the first place,
it turns out that...
1431
01:46:16,105 --> 01:46:19,008
Helen found out
about us 10 years ago.
1432
01:46:24,881 --> 01:46:29,185
When did you learn that?
Two months ago.
1433
01:46:30,987 --> 01:46:34,090
And she never
confronted you with it
before?
1434
01:46:34,123 --> 01:46:37,894
No.
What made her tell you now?
1435
01:46:37,927 --> 01:46:42,031
She didn't. We have
a very close friend, Connie.
1436
01:46:42,065 --> 01:46:45,201
- Did-- Have I
ever mentioned her?
- No.
1437
01:46:45,234 --> 01:46:48,037
Well, Connie told me.
1438
01:46:48,071 --> 01:46:52,642
All those years,
and she never even hinted
that she knew.
1439
01:46:57,146 --> 01:47:00,283
I guess that's
the nicest story
I've ever told about her.
1440
01:47:00,316 --> 01:47:05,221
- Your wife
is an amazing woman.
- She passed away, Doris.
1441
01:47:11,260 --> 01:47:14,931
I lost her six months ago.
1442
01:47:16,700 --> 01:47:19,803
It was very fast.
1443
01:47:23,807 --> 01:47:28,644
I'm sorry to blurt it out
like that. I couldn't think
of a graceful way to tell you.
1444
01:47:30,113 --> 01:47:33,049
It's so strange.
1445
01:47:33,082 --> 01:47:38,087
I never even met Helen,
and I feel like I've
just lost my best friend.
1446
01:47:41,457 --> 01:47:45,128
Are the kids okay?
The kids are great.
If it weren't for them,
1447
01:47:45,161 --> 01:47:48,865
I don't know if I'd
have gotten through
this whole thing.
1448
01:47:48,898 --> 01:47:51,701
I wish you'd tried
to reach me.
Well, I did.
1449
01:47:51,735 --> 01:47:54,738
That's how I found out
you'd sold the store.
1450
01:47:54,771 --> 01:47:58,341
They gave me
your home number, and I--
1451
01:47:58,374 --> 01:48:02,345
I let the phone
ring four times,
and then I hung up.
1452
01:48:02,378 --> 01:48:05,081
But I felt better
knowing you were there
if I needed you.
1453
01:48:05,114 --> 01:48:10,720
Oh, I wish
you'd spoken to me.
Well, I didn't want to intrude.
1454
01:48:10,754 --> 01:48:14,257
I didn't think I had the right.
1455
01:48:14,290 --> 01:48:19,095
That's just terrible.
We should've been together.
1456
01:48:21,264 --> 01:48:24,968
You know,
I've been thinking
about us a lot lately,
1457
01:48:26,435 --> 01:48:31,374
everything we've
been through together,
things we've shared,
1458
01:48:31,407 --> 01:48:34,911
times we've helped each other.
1459
01:48:34,944 --> 01:48:38,214
Did you know we
made love 113 times?
What?
1460
01:48:38,247 --> 01:48:43,987
I figured that out
on my Bomar calculator.
1461
01:48:44,020 --> 01:48:48,157
I think it's wonderful
when people know each other
that well.
1462
01:48:48,191 --> 01:48:51,127
You know,
there's nothing about you
I don't know.
1463
01:48:51,160 --> 01:48:54,363
You take two sugars,
right?
No. One.
1464
01:48:54,397 --> 01:48:57,233
Okay. Uh--
1465
01:48:57,266 --> 01:49:01,270
Oh, well, okay.
Maybe I don't know
everything about you.
1466
01:49:03,039 --> 01:49:06,275
You know,
I don't know who your
favorite movie stars are.
1467
01:49:06,309 --> 01:49:09,345
And I couldn't
remember the name
of your favorite perfume.
1468
01:49:09,378 --> 01:49:13,349
- I racked my brain,
and I couldn't think of it.
- That's funny.
1469
01:49:13,382 --> 01:49:15,351
It's My Sin.
1470
01:49:20,389 --> 01:49:24,828
But I do know
that in 26 years, I've never
been out of love with you.
1471
01:49:26,395 --> 01:49:30,099
I think that's incredible.
1472
01:49:32,001 --> 01:49:36,105
- So what do you say, Doris?
- You wanna get married?
1473
01:49:36,139 --> 01:49:39,943
Married? We shouldn't
even be doing this.
1474
01:49:39,976 --> 01:49:42,445
I'm serious.
1475
01:49:46,382 --> 01:49:50,353
Oh, my God. You are.
1476
01:49:50,386 --> 01:49:55,124
Well, what'd
you think I was,
just a summer romance?
1477
01:49:57,994 --> 01:50:01,230
A simple yes will do.
1478
01:50:02,498 --> 01:50:06,335
There is no such thing, my love.
1479
01:50:09,638 --> 01:50:13,009
What is it?
1480
01:50:13,042 --> 01:50:17,380
I was just thinking
of how many times I've dreamed
of your asking me this.
1481
01:50:17,413 --> 01:50:23,286
You know, that's pulled me
through a lot of bad times.
I wanna thank you for that.
1482
01:50:23,319 --> 01:50:26,389
What did you say
those other times?
1483
01:50:27,490 --> 01:50:30,559
I always said yes.
1484
01:50:30,593 --> 01:50:35,131
Why are you hesitating now?
Do you realize I'm offering
you the opportunity...
1485
01:50:35,164 --> 01:50:38,134
to marry a man
who has known you
for 26 years...
1486
01:50:38,167 --> 01:50:41,604
and can't walk by you
without wanting to
grab your ass?
1487
01:50:41,637 --> 01:50:44,107
You always were a sweet talker.
1488
01:50:45,474 --> 01:50:47,543
Doris, will you marry me?
1489
01:50:51,547 --> 01:50:54,083
I can't.
1490
01:50:55,151 --> 01:50:57,286
Why not?
1491
01:51:00,456 --> 01:51:03,159
I'm already married.
1492
01:51:03,192 --> 01:51:06,395
You feel you have
to stay with him because
he needs you?
1493
01:51:06,429 --> 01:51:11,334
No. No.
It's a lot of things.
1494
01:51:12,501 --> 01:51:15,471
Affection.
1495
01:51:15,504 --> 01:51:18,207
Respect.
1496
01:51:18,241 --> 01:51:21,310
And a sense of continuity.
1497
01:51:21,344 --> 01:51:24,547
I mean, we share
all the same memories.
1498
01:51:25,949 --> 01:51:29,252
It's comfortable.
1499
01:51:29,285 --> 01:51:35,091
Goddamn it. I was
the one who brought you
back together six years ago.
1500
01:51:35,124 --> 01:51:38,394
Why did I do
such a stupid thing?
Why was I so generous?
1501
01:51:38,427 --> 01:51:42,598
Because you felt the same way
then about Helen as I do now
about Harry, that's why.
1502
01:51:42,631 --> 01:51:45,969
And besides, if you hadn't,
you might've been stuck with me
for good,
1503
01:51:46,002 --> 01:51:49,005
and that idea
scared you to death.
1504
01:51:52,641 --> 01:51:56,345
You always could
see through me,
couldn't you?
1505
01:51:56,379 --> 01:51:59,282
But that's okay, 'cause...
1506
01:52:00,516 --> 01:52:03,519
I've always loved
what I've seen.
1507
01:52:05,521 --> 01:52:08,992
Well, I want you now.
1508
01:52:11,294 --> 01:52:15,598
You can still
have me once a year,
same time, same place.
1509
01:52:15,631 --> 01:52:18,534
Doris, I need a wife.
1510
01:52:20,069 --> 01:52:23,439
I'm just not the kind of man
who can live alone.
1511
01:52:23,472 --> 01:52:28,544
What I'm trying to say
is that without you, I'll
probably end up with Connie.
1512
01:52:31,447 --> 01:52:35,484
Look, she knows all
about us, and, uh, she's not
the kind of person...
1513
01:52:35,518 --> 01:52:39,355
who would go along with it.
1514
01:52:39,388 --> 01:52:42,491
I guess what I'm
trying to say is that...
1515
01:52:44,793 --> 01:52:48,031
we'll never
see each other again.
1516
01:53:02,278 --> 01:53:05,514
Doris, for God's sake, marry me.
1517
01:53:15,291 --> 01:53:17,460
I can't.
1518
01:53:26,069 --> 01:53:29,572
I wish there were something
I could say that would
make you...
1519
01:53:29,605 --> 01:53:33,109
burst into tears
and run away with me.
1520
01:53:36,812 --> 01:53:41,584
Well, you know us Irish.
We never cry.
1521
01:53:44,687 --> 01:53:47,623
Yeah, well--
1522
01:53:51,127 --> 01:53:54,630
I have to catch a plane.
1523
01:54:05,808 --> 01:54:08,077
Who were
your favorite movie stars?
1524
01:54:12,148 --> 01:54:15,184
Laurence Olivier.
1525
01:54:15,218 --> 01:54:17,853
Marlon Brando.
1526
01:54:17,886 --> 01:54:20,223
Cary Grant.
1527
01:54:22,725 --> 01:54:25,060
Lon McCallister.
1528
01:56:01,490 --> 01:56:05,694
Okay. I'm back,
goddamn it.
1529
01:56:07,430 --> 01:56:11,467
- What about Connie?
- Connie is 87 years old.
1530
01:56:11,500 --> 01:56:14,603
What?
Look. I wanted you
to marry me,
1531
01:56:14,637 --> 01:56:18,441
and I figured if you thought
somebody else wanted me,
I'd stand a better chance.
1532
01:56:18,474 --> 01:56:22,345
Okay. Maybe I didn't
think things through.
1533
01:56:22,378 --> 01:56:25,414
I was desperate, okay?
1534
01:56:25,448 --> 01:56:28,917
Look. I don't even wanna
discuss it. I'm back, and I'm
gonna keep coming back...
1535
01:56:28,951 --> 01:56:32,421
every year until our bones
are too brittle
to risk contact.
1536
01:56:47,603 --> 01:56:49,772
* Hello
1537
01:56:49,805 --> 01:56:54,310
* It all started with hello
1538
01:56:54,343 --> 01:56:58,414
* On an evening long ago
1539
01:56:58,447 --> 01:57:01,950
* When an unexpected smile
1540
01:57:01,984 --> 01:57:04,287
* Caught my eye
1541
01:57:04,320 --> 01:57:06,489
* Hello
1542
01:57:06,522 --> 01:57:10,493
* If I'd smiled
and looked away *
1543
01:57:10,526 --> 01:57:14,663
* We would not be here today *
1544
01:57:14,697 --> 01:57:19,902
* To never say good-bye
1545
01:57:19,935 --> 01:57:25,007
* For the last time
I felt like this *
1546
01:57:25,040 --> 01:57:29,545
* I was falling in love
* I was falling
1547
01:57:29,578 --> 01:57:35,318
* Falling and feeling
I'd never fall in love again *
1548
01:57:35,351 --> 01:57:40,022
* Yes, the last time
I felt like this *
1549
01:57:40,055 --> 01:57:42,358
* Was long before I knew
1550
01:57:42,391 --> 01:57:46,962
* What I'm feeling now
1551
01:57:46,995 --> 01:57:50,299
* With you
1552
01:57:50,333 --> 01:57:55,438
* Yes, the last time
I felt like this *
1553
01:57:55,471 --> 01:57:59,442
* I was falling in love
* I was falling
1554
01:57:59,475 --> 01:58:01,510
* Falling and feeling
1555
01:58:01,544 --> 01:58:05,448
* I'd never fall in love again *
1556
01:58:05,481 --> 01:58:10,018
* Yes, the last time
I felt like this *
1557
01:58:10,052 --> 01:58:12,588
* Was long before I knew
1558
01:58:12,621 --> 01:58:17,560
* What I'm feeling now
1559
01:58:17,593 --> 01:58:26,469
* With you *
119761
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