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♪♪
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-First up, we have Mr. Turkel,
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who's accused
of attempted robbery.
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00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:10,053
-Your Honor,
the security-camera footage
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00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:12,273
clearly places the defendant
at the scene of the crime.
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00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:15,711
-So, grainy footage that could
be either my client or Bigfoot?
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00:00:17,582 --> 00:00:19,106
-Well, we don't even need
the camera footage
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00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:20,368
because we have an eyewitness.
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-Oh, sorry, Your Honor.
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The witness could've
seen anyone.
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My client has an undeniable,
everyman look.
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00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:28,637
He could be mistaken for anyone
in this gallery.
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-Counselor, is your defense
just finding people
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who look like your client?
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-What? Do they?
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Oh! Yes!
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My God.
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They do.
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-Carmine, what are you
doing here?
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-I got caught robbing
this lady's store.
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-He's joking.
The only thing my client
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is guilty of is possession
of a razor-sharp wit.
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-The defendant just confessed.
Can we have the stenographer
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read that back, please?
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-Oh, did you guys start?
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-Your Honor, I think we can wrap
this up pretty quickly.
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Now, the prosecution is going
to argue
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that the evidence
is incontrovertible.
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And I will refute it,
point by point,
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successfully showing
that it's inadmissible.
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The bailiff is gonna drop
her keys...
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-Witch!
-...and since it is
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my client's first offense,
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you're obviously
going to rule --
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-Guilty.
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-Damn it!
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Fine. Fine, fine.
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Well, you got to admit,
the key thing was pretty good.
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Especially the second time.
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♪♪
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♪♪
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-I don't understand
this new judge.
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Work is over.
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Why does she want us
to stick around?
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-Well, maybe she got us
a present.
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Maybe we can wear it.
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Ooh! Or eat it.
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Maybe we can wear it,
then eat it.
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Chocolate jackets.
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-You know, if I were you,
I'd get used to this.
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I worked with Abby's father
for a long time,
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and in addition to being
an overenthusiastic judge,
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he was an amateur magician.
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His greatest trick was to make
my free time
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outside of his courtroom...
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[gasps] disappear.
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10 bucks says it's
an inspirational speech.
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-Hey, everybody.
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I have presents for you all.
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But first, a speech.
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When my dad sat in that chair,
he made every person
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who walked through those doors
feel like they mattered,
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and that's just
what I want to do.
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That's why I went out and got us
an awesome public defender.
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-When will they be getting here?
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-Oh, God.
[ Laughs ]
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-And it was the inspiration
behind this present.
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Water bottles with
motivational quotes
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to get you through the day.
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Night!
-"Made in China."
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I do feel motivated.
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-I know there are problems here
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that water bottles
can't solve --
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the weird stain on the wall,
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the thriving bird colony
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that lives in the ceiling --
I've got a whole list.
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But there is nothing
that can stop us
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from making this place better
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if we all work
together as Nighthawks.
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-Oh, I'm not putting energy
into making this place better.
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I'm trying to get out of here.
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This isn't a job,
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it's an escape room.
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-Come on.
There's gotta be someone here
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who wants to make
some big changes with me.
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Neil!
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Thank you for volunteering.
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I want you to pick anything
you want to improve out
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this courtroom and go crazy.
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Take a cue from Nikolai,
who's already hard at work
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getting rid of those pesky
ceiling birds.
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00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:49,359
-Oh, we don't have the budget
to get rid of them.
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00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:52,232
He's just throwing food up there
to satisfy the alphas.
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Pepperoni's their favorite.
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-We're gonna fix that.
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'Cause we're the Nighthawks!
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Ca-caw!
-Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
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Not while they're feeding.
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00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,117
-Thanks.
Hey, can I get your advice
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00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,292
on something, Gurgs?
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-I mean, I can tell it's a wig,
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but I don't think
anyone else can.
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-Here's my problem --
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00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,301
I asked Dan to be
our public defender because,
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based on the stories
my dad told me,
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I thought he had the potential
to be really good at it.
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-[ Laughs ]
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You were wrong about that.
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Your daddy got you good.
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-I know.
I just need a good
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00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,491
defense attorney
to make this work.
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I'm just worried if I push him
too hard,
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he's gonna go back
to his lonely existence.
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Just a man,
a freezer of loose meat,
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00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:44,327
and Target bag
full of duck sauce.
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00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,068
-Well, unless you can fit
all that on a water bottle,
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you're gonna have to tell him
to his bearded face.
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-Whose bearded face?
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-You're gonna figure this out.
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Just keep your wig on.
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-You wanted to see me?
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-Yes! Yeah.
Thanks for stopping by.
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First off, gotta say,
you are an amazing lawyer.
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It is truly an honor --
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-What do you want?
-Okay, um...
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00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,091
Well, you know how sometimes
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00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,571
when someone
is doing some things --
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-Faster.
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00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:16,446
-You were a great prosecutor,
and I just noticed
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that you might
be hitting a rough patch
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00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,362
now that you're
on the other side,
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and I was wondering
if you might need any help
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in the transition.
-Not necessary.
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00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:24,759
I'm only here temporarily
until you find someone
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to fill in permanently.
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-Okay, okay, just hear me out.
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For a lot of people,
coming through night court
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can be a major low point.
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00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:34,072
And I just think if we
show them some compassion,
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00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:36,945
we have the opportunity to
really turn their lives around.
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00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:39,034
Who knows?
One of your clients could be
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00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:41,166
the next Bill Gates
or Maya Angelou.
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-So, the guy busted for stealing
menthol cigarettes
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00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:46,998
and beef jerky
could be the next Maya Angelou?
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-You don't know what Maya
got up to.
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-Okay, just look.
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I am not here to be part
of anybody's project.
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-Hold on! Hold on!
You're not a project.
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00:05:57,531 --> 00:06:00,751
I realize that you're doing me
a favor, but...
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00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,797
is there any way you could do
that favor
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00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:07,758
slightly differently-ish?
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-So you want me to act more
like a public defender.
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-Yes.
-A sad, soup-eating,
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outer-borough-living
public defender.
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If that's what you really want,
I can do that.
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So you just get ready for more
public defending than --
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-Faster!
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Sounds better when you say it.
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00:06:29,214 --> 00:06:32,522
-I was just waiting for you
to realize that.
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00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:39,747
-This is bone white,
and this is ghost white.
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00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:43,620
-That's not what ghosts
look like in my neighborhood.
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-So, this is your big change?
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The boss gave you carte blanche
to do anything you wanted,
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and that's what you did?
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-Shows how much you know.
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This is carte blanche.
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-This opportunity
is wasted on you.
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-It's not an opportunity,
Olivia, it's a curse.
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I come here so I can do nothing.
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00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:02,073
And if you do nothing,
you can't fail.
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00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:04,467
-There are a million things
you can change around here.
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00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:05,816
Start with the stenographer.
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-I thought y'all were friends.
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00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,472
She's telling everyone
you're her emergency contact.
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00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:10,995
-Oh, yeah, no,
that's only 'cause her last
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three emergency contacts
mysteriously disappeared.
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Wait.
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Should I be worried about that?
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-I would be.
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00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,355
-You gotta keep a stenographer
on your good side.
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Otherwise,
they'll read back testimony
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with just a tinge of disdain.
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00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,143
It could cost you a case.
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00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:31,363
But I'm just -- I'm so tired
of keeping up this relentless --
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Oh, hey, Maggie! Whoo!
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Those pants are on you, girl.
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00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:39,850
-Is that what you think
a friend sounds like?
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00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:43,593
-Neil, I noticed the paper,
and I love it.
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00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:47,205
Want to see the first thing
I printed?
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00:07:47,249 --> 00:07:50,207
-Is that paper serious?
191
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:52,254
-The paper was a home run.
And you know what?
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00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:55,518
Feel free, next time,
take an even bigger swing.
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00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:58,521
-Big Swing Neil.
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00:07:58,565 --> 00:07:59,914
-Probably after we do
the court stuff.
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00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:01,089
-Yeah, right, the court stuff.
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00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:03,004
Uh, okay.
197
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,528
Uh, next up, we have...
198
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,400
uh, the People vs.,
199
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:10,141
uh, that guy.
200
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:23,720
-Mr. Buchwald is charged
with indecent exposure
201
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:26,070
while urinating
on a Starbucks.
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00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:29,552
-Your Honor, the facts of
this case are not in dispute,
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00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:35,078
but this man -- this beautiful
human person man --
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00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:36,558
deserves better.
205
00:08:36,602 --> 00:08:37,778
If your loving father had died
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00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,996
in the bean fields of Colombia,
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00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,956
you would hate coffee, too.
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00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:43,914
You see a puddle of urine,
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00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:50,486
I see a puddle of tears shed
for the loss of a dear papa.
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00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,096
-Sir, is any of this true?
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00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,272
-Please, Your Honor,
don't make my client relive
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00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:55,883
a painful experience
that happened
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00:08:55,926 --> 00:09:01,062
to millions of people --
and possibly him.
214
00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:02,585
-Mr. Fielding,
what are you doing?
215
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,892
-I'm doing exactly
what you asked me to do.
216
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:07,503
I'm acting like
a public defender.
217
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,636
I'm feeling for my client.
218
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:13,814
And I have so many feelings.
219
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:17,774
They're moving around [gasps]
inside my body.
220
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,994
-Counselor,
please approach the bench.
221
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,653
I like the sweater.
222
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:28,655
It really makes a statement,
like,
223
00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:30,570
"I told the judge
I was gonna do something
224
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:34,574
but then did as close
to nothing as possible."
225
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:36,184
-This is not nothing.
226
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:38,186
Uh, this is me showing
that your idea of how
227
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:41,015
I should defend these clients
is no better than how I do it
228
00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:45,802
because, basically, [whispers]
they're all guilty anyway.
229
00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:48,675
-Mr. Buchwald, I, um --
230
00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:51,373
I notice this is your first
run-in with the law.
231
00:09:51,415 --> 00:09:53,201
Also see here on your
intake forms you misspelled
232
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:54,594
a couple words.
233
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:57,466
You transposed your vowels
a few times.
234
00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:59,381
By any chance, are you dyslexic?
235
00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:01,644
-I am, Your Honor,
but it's my understanding
236
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:04,125
that's only a crime in Texas.
237
00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:06,344
-And does this condition
make it difficult to, say,
238
00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,085
type in
a bathroom security code?
239
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:11,872
-Uh, objection --
the judge is doing his job.
240
00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:14,657
-Court finds in favor of defense
on the basis of disability.
241
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,528
Case dismissed.
242
00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:18,879
-Good catch.
We make a great team, huh?
243
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,623
Yeah, all right, fine, fine,
fine, you made your point.
244
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,712
Your -- Your approach
could work, too.
245
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,148
But, you know,
I'm not that kind of lawyer.
246
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:29,150
I deal with evidence
and precedent,
247
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:31,152
not feelings, emotions,
248
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:35,765
and "Mommy didn't hug me
enough so now I eat people."
249
00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:37,506
-See, you're giving up
on yourself,
250
00:10:37,549 --> 00:10:40,509
which makes you the perfect
person to represent people
251
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:43,077
who are constantly
given up on.
252
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,426
-Fine.
253
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:45,906
Fine.
All right, fine, fine.
254
00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:47,690
I will try.
255
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,083
I will dig in.
256
00:10:49,126 --> 00:10:51,738
I will get to know my clients
as people.
257
00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:56,351
Just like my water bottle
says, "You Can D It."
258
00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:57,744
The "O" is already
washed off.
259
00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:00,747
FYI, you can't get these wet.
260
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:07,231
-So, are we still on
for this weekend?
261
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,929
-This weeken-- This -- Can't.
262
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:11,366
Ugh, got my cousin's
baby shower.
263
00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:14,021
-No, you don't.
On October 8th,
264
00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:15,762
I asked if you had anything
planned this weekend,
265
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,720
and you said it was
your cousin's baby shower.
266
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:20,114
But then, on the 12th, you said
it moved to my birthday
267
00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:22,290
when I invited you
to Medieval Times.
268
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:27,643
So that means that this weekend,
you are all mine.
269
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,819
Girls trip!
270
00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:33,083
Bus leaves at 5:00 a.m.
271
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,825
-You have the memory
of a serial killer.
272
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:39,307
In a fun way.
273
00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:42,266
-Let us talk about you
as a person, Howie.
274
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:44,878
Now, we know that you've been
dropping nets on your neighbors
275
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:48,403
because you believe them
to be "secret lizards."
276
00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:51,928
But I want to get to know
the man behind the nets.
277
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,800
So how did we get here?
278
00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:56,063
-I believe the Constitution
guarantees me
279
00:11:56,106 --> 00:12:00,241
the right to a human attorney,
not a bug-eating lizard lawyer.
280
00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:04,767
-[ Chuckles ] Okay.
281
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:08,423
Were you attacked by a
salamander when you were a kid?
282
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:12,514
D-Did your dad
leave your mom for a -- a gecko?
283
00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:17,519
Paint me the science-fiction
country song that is your life.
284
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:20,435
-Let me put this into words
you'll understand.
285
00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:23,525
[ Hissing, growling ]
286
00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:32,882
-How am I supposed to
get to know
287
00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:35,667
these people when
they do stuff like that?
288
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:38,235
-Don't take this the wrong way,
but nobody likes you.
289
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,890
You're too tall.
290
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,544
You think you're better
than everybody.
291
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,807
You got a mean face.
292
00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:46,461
There it is.
293
00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:48,811
-Hold on a second.
You talk to people.
294
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,682
I mean, and they talk
back to you.
295
00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:53,250
You could talk to them
and report back to me.
296
00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:54,817
-What's in it for me?
297
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:59,082
-Joy of getting to know
your fellow human beings.
298
00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:01,345
20 bucks.
-$50.
299
00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:04,087
Or I'll do it for free
if you can tell me my name.
300
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,873
-Mm, you are getting 50 bucks.
301
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,444
-Goodnight, everybody.
I brought some --
302
00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:14,924
Oh. Ah.
303
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,447
What's happening?
304
00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:19,755
-So, I took your advice
and made some big moves.
305
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,409
I decided, why wait months
for maintenance
306
00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:23,106
to paint over the water stain
307
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:25,282
when Nikolai can do a beautiful
mural of your favorite
308
00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:27,502
Supreme Court Justices
in no time?
309
00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:29,286
-Nikolai's painting a mural?
310
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:30,853
-Apparently,
one of his paintings
311
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,942
was almost in the Getty Museum.
312
00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:36,076
-Ah, and why are they all
wearing baseball mitts?
313
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:39,731
-I don't do hands.
314
00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:41,255
-And you hired
a new stenographer?
315
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:44,084
-Oh, that was my idea.
316
00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:45,389
This is Blaine.
317
00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:47,435
He types 250 words per minute,
318
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:51,831
has his own friends,
and he brought doughnuts.
319
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:54,398
-So, any big swings on your end?
320
00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:55,486
-I brought doughnuts.
321
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:58,402
-As good as Blaine's?
322
00:13:58,446 --> 00:14:00,883
-No.
323
00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:03,668
I gotta say, you really went
for it with the changes.
324
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,279
And maybe you should've
run some of them by me,
325
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,324
but I'm proud of you, Neil.
326
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:09,718
Can you read that back, Blaine?
327
00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:10,719
-"I'm proud of you, Neil."
328
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,112
-You didn't have to do that.
329
00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:14,984
-It felt like he needed it.
330
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:16,551
-Where have you been?!
331
00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:18,683
-I needed a moment
to organize my notes. Here.
332
00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:21,686
-What?
-Okay, so, greens are bad news,
333
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:23,645
yellows are good news.
334
00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:25,038
And for your convenience,
335
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,040
I've arranged them
in order of juiciness.
336
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:30,043
-I was expecting a folder.
337
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:32,480
What -- This is nonsense.
338
00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:33,915
-Counselor, everything okay?
339
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,092
-Yes, Your Honor,
just organizing my, um,
340
00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:38,660
e-extensive research.
341
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,792
"Eats paper."
What does that even mean?
342
00:14:40,836 --> 00:14:43,970
-It's pretty self-explanatory.
343
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:46,494
-I hate you.
344
00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:50,150
-Okay.
Next case -- People vs. Dargis.
345
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:52,587
-Mr. Fielding, are you prepared
to defend your client?
346
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:54,458
-Yes, Your Honor, so prepared.
347
00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:55,851
I know all about this man.
348
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,940
We just shared a meal.
349
00:14:57,984 --> 00:14:59,986
-Your Honor,
Mr. Dargis is charged with
350
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:02,118
disturbing the peace.
He's accused of dropping nets
351
00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:05,469
on unsuspecting pedestrians
while shouting, and I quote,
352
00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:08,864
"You ain't got not style,
reptile."
353
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:14,174
-Um, uh, Your Honor, before we
get into who threw what on whom,
354
00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:18,091
I would like to talk
about my client as a person.
355
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:22,138
This man, he's, um --
um, he's...
356
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:24,097
Two words.
357
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:27,187
Um, he is not...
358
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,667
gill...
359
00:15:29,711 --> 00:15:30,712
tea.
360
00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:31,713
Not guilty.
361
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:34,194
How does that help?
362
00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:35,760
-What is going on?
363
00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:37,545
-Your Honor, he tried to
talk to his clients,
364
00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:40,461
but he hated it so much,
he paid me to do it for him.
365
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,245
Sorry. I'm under oath.
366
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:44,030
-Not under oath.
367
00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:46,336
-I asked you to do one thing --
your job --
368
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,425
and you couldn't even try?
-You know what?
369
00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:50,558
If you don't like
what I'm doing, just say so.
370
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,473
I can leave.
I don't need this.
371
00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:53,909
-Yeah, you do.
372
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,432
Otherwise, you're back
on your sad couch
373
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:58,044
with your freezer full
of pity meat.
374
00:15:58,087 --> 00:15:59,480
-That was thank-you meat.
375
00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:01,961
-Yes! For helping people!
376
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:03,614
I know you can do this.
377
00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:05,877
I don't know why you're
fighting it.
378
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:09,142
-I am not one of your
improvement projects,
379
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:12,841
which, by the way, none of them
will make any difference here.
380
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:14,799
-Oh, yeah?
Our new stenographer
381
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,279
is a huge improvement.
382
00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:17,889
Blaine is getting all of this.
383
00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,761
-Please leave me
out of this.
384
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:21,676
-Objection!
-Ooh.
385
00:16:21,719 --> 00:16:24,026
Looks like one of your
huge improvement projects
386
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:27,203
just Johnny Walker-ed
back in.
387
00:16:27,247 --> 00:16:28,726
-Maggie, Maggie, calm down.
388
00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:30,554
I know it seems like a bad day,
but every --
389
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:32,339
-Shut up!
-Okay.
390
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,254
-I'm here for him.
-She's the one you want.
391
00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:37,300
It was her idea to fire you.
392
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:39,433
-I thought we would get to
spend more time together.
393
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:41,304
Mm-hmm. Yeah, no.
Girls trip!
394
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:42,305
Whoo!
395
00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:44,264
-That's a lie!
-Yeah.
396
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:46,570
-Did you mean anything
that you said on October 12th
397
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,050
at 5:47 p.m.?
398
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,747
-Okay, that's enough.
Let's go.
399
00:16:49,790 --> 00:16:51,053
Whoa! Look out!
400
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:52,315
She got a --
401
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:53,621
water bottle.
402
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:56,711
Maggie, come on.
-Stop! No!
403
00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:59,322
-Ohh!
-Ohh!
404
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:07,287
[ Birds cooing ]
405
00:17:07,329 --> 00:17:10,594
-We destroyed their home,
and now they're coming for ours!
406
00:17:10,637 --> 00:17:13,554
-If it makes you feel any
better, your dad used to
407
00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:16,209
make birds appear
in this courtroom all the time!
408
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:17,906
I think I recognize one of them!
409
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:25,782
-Weird day.
410
00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:27,436
Definitely not the weirdest.
411
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:30,092
-A whole bird flew in my mouth.
412
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:31,920
-Well, that's your fault
for having a head
413
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,487
that looks like a birdhouse.
414
00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:35,750
Beak to butt,
that thing was in there.
415
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:39,101
-You know, even though there's
an argument to be made
416
00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,147
that this is all her fault,
417
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:44,846
I can't help but feeling
a little bad for Abby.
418
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:46,978
But she's got to learn,
as long as she's here,
419
00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:50,243
there are gonna be a lot of
disappointments in her future.
420
00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:52,071
You know what?
421
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:54,334
At least I'm helping her realize
that by being her first,
422
00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:57,511
because whatever it is
she thinks she sees in me,
423
00:17:57,554 --> 00:18:00,818
[laughs] not there.
424
00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:03,299
-I hear you, man.
425
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:06,998
And I know a thing or two about
seeing things that aren't there.
426
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:09,740
There are days I feel like
maybe my stepdad is right
427
00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,307
and I should just hang up
my lizard nets
428
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:13,309
and do sex stuff with hotties.
429
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:16,182
But then I think, do I want
my smoking-hot grandkids
430
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:19,576
living in a world
that's riddled with lizards?
431
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:20,664
-Wait.
432
00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:22,492
Was that what I thought it was?
433
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:25,234
-Yeah.
A client just opened up to you.
434
00:18:25,278 --> 00:18:27,454
Y'all made a real connection!
435
00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:30,631
Like Neil and that bird.
436
00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:33,416
[ Knock on door ]
437
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:36,332
-If that's your resignation, you
could just leave it right there.
438
00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:38,247
This doesn't have to be awkward.
439
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:39,857
Or maybe it does.
I don't know.
440
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,163
I've never gotten into a fight
with an old friend
441
00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,512
of my father's
in front of a room
442
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,471
full of people
during a pigeon storm.
443
00:18:46,821 --> 00:18:48,518
-This is Phil Clemens.
444
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:52,305
He was arrested for performing
non-consensual haircuts.
445
00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:54,742
But that was only because
his niece has alopecia
446
00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:56,787
and he wanted
to create a wig for her.
447
00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:58,354
He complimented your hair,
by the way,
448
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:01,792
so I'd keep my back
to the wall if he's around.
449
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:03,533
This is Rosa Rosenberg.
450
00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:06,232
She was arrested for carrying
a concealed weapon,
451
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:08,451
but it is a completely
non-functional
452
00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:11,802
emotional-support gun.
453
00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:13,326
Reminds her of her father.
454
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,110
His name was Colt.
455
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,764
He died at 45.
456
00:19:20,637 --> 00:19:22,813
-So you connected
with your clients?
457
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:24,815
-There's one more.
458
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,252
This is Dan Fielding.
459
00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:27,992
He can be a bit of a prick,
460
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:31,126
but he's smart enough to realize
that having someone around
461
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:36,523
who can see the best in people
is probably a good thing.
462
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:39,569
We had that type here
once before.
463
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:41,223
And it seems, to him,
464
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:44,705
that it's a good thing to try
and help that person.
465
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:49,318
It couldn't be the very, very
worst way to spend his time.
466
00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:55,237
-♪ Dan, you'll be
a great public defender ♪
467
00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:57,805
♪ You're gonna be here
forever ♪
468
00:19:57,848 --> 00:20:00,503
-Don't sing sentences.
469
00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:03,941
And I'm still just here
temporarily.
470
00:20:03,985 --> 00:20:06,683
But now that I am
the whole package,
471
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:08,250
New York is gonna
have to brace itself
472
00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:11,775
for the number of criminals
I am gonna set free.
473
00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:15,866
-Not exactly what I had in mind
but enough to cross "Fix Dan"
474
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:16,954
off my list.
475
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:18,478
-I knew I was on there!
476
00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:20,741
-You're on there
like four more times.
477
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:28,618
So, the Getty Museum Nikolai
almost had his painting in
478
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,272
wasn't the famous one in L.A.,
it was --
479
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:33,667
-It was The Estelle
Getty Museum in Miami, Florida.
480
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,411
Apparently, Nikolai learned
American painting
481
00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:40,282
from watching
"Golden Girls" reruns,
482
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:42,415
and that's all he can paint.
483
00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:47,333
I might not be a big-swing guy.
484
00:20:48,508 --> 00:20:51,032
-I appreciate you trying.
485
00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:53,513
I know it probably doesn't feel
like it right at this moment,
486
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:56,298
but I really believe
we're on the right track.
487
00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:57,821
People are starting
to buy in.
488
00:20:57,865 --> 00:20:59,693
And at least you made
one big improvement --
489
00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:01,564
you got the birds
out of the ceiling.
490
00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:02,696
They're finally gone.
491
00:21:02,739 --> 00:21:05,916
-They're not gone.
492
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,657
They're just waiting.
493
00:21:07,701 --> 00:21:10,965
But next time,
I will be ready.
494
00:21:14,664 --> 00:21:16,187
-Hey, shouldn't he be
cleaning this up?
495
00:21:16,231 --> 00:21:17,319
-Are you gonna tell him?
496
00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:20,279
-Nope.
-Yeah.
34948
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