All language subtitles for Maternal.S01E03.WEBRip.x264-ION10

All of my emotional energy,
all of my...

everything energy is spent keeping
those three children healthy

and happy, and, er, the house
running something just above chaos,

and... now I'm back at work again.

I'm exhausted. And...

..I don't know
what he expects from me.

Just to lie back and let him
get on with it for seven minutes?

I mean, even that, I literally, I...

I don't have time
to go to the toilet.

I'm not joking.
You should see my piles that...

How do you feel
when you look at your husband?

Irritated.

Just... angry.

We're both just angry all the time.
What do you do with your anger?

I don't know,
do you want me to say mindfulness?

What does Guy do with his?

Er, here... You need to
have to sign this also.

What's this one?
This is the, er...

paternity document
to give her Swedish citizenship.

This is in Swedish.
Yep.

OK, er, here?
Yeah.

WOMEN CHATTER

GIGGLING

OK. Thank you.

Er, ladies,
we are going to the playground.

Mm.
Oh, great. OK.

It's so lovely to meet you.
You too.

CHATTER,
BABY WHINES

Apparently,
it would cost a £150 a month

to put Elis into day care
full-time in Sweden.

That's very good money.

I told Brigitta you said
you were paying £1,300 a month here,

but you're probably exaggerating.
I'm not.

How are you affording all that?
SHE SCOFFS

You really had better get
that consultant job.

Brigitta said
Elis was going there next time?

They can't keep coming here. They've
got their girls to look after.

It does sound like the most
marvellous place to raise children.

Well, that's great cos she's
about to become a Swedish citizen.

You have had these checked
by a lawyer?

It's a print-out from the internet,
Mum, it's not an abduction order.

Is it?

What,
you haven't spoken to a solicitor

about this arrangement at all?

We're all grown-ups. We're all
doing what's best for Elis.

Lovely to spend time with you, Anne,
so nice.

You too. Bye.
Bye-bye, Catherine.

Bye.
You can see how much Elis loves her.

She's very charming, isn't she?

Delightful (!)

Hi, we've got an appointment
with Clare?

Can you just sign in?

Yeah, course, er...

Er, I was just thinking,

we shouldn't rush
into any decisions today.

How do you mean? Like, go away,
have a cooling-off period.

We're not buying car insurance.

I know. I just don't want us
to feel pressured in there to...

To what?

Sorry, it's work.

Do you need to deal with that
so you can be here?

Yeah, sorry.
I... just, erm...

Two minutes?
Just...

DIAL TONE RINGS

Hi, yeah,
this is Dr Maryam Afridi.

I just received an email
this morning about a...

meeting with Quality Care
and Patient Safety.

Are there, erm,
any other times this week?

This morning is just too...
Er, yeah, no.

Yeah, no, that's too late...
Erm, I can't wait that long.

Raza and Maryam Farooqi?

You know what? Just, erm, leave it
as it is, I'll be there, thank you.

All right?
Yeah, good. Nice to see you again.

Morning, Tess.
What you got for me?

48-year-old male
presented to A&E at 1am this morning

with palpitations and chest pains.

He was in fast atrial fibrillation
and had signs of heart failure.

He's had diuretics and rate control,

and he's booked in for an echo
later this morning.

Any medical history?
Just pancreatitis.

And any significant alcohol history?

He was out with the lads last night
to celebrate one of them

becoming a father.

Well, I'm sure the mother
of that newborn is delighted

with everyone's choices (!)
HELEN INHALES

Good morning, Mr Massie.

My name's Dr Cavendish.
How are you feeling?

Yeah, much better.
I can catch my breath now.

And is there anything
you can think of

that might have brought on
these symptoms?

Well, I won't lie to you, doctor,
I had a big night.

Right.
I was expecting a hangover, but...

this wasn't right.

I've had to call in sick.
What is it you do for work?

Haulage. HGV driver.

Oh, OK, and what... What's a...
What's a big night for you?

Pints? Mm.
How many?

HE LAUGHS

Well, I reckon...
PHONE RINGS

Erm, it was a session,
you know that. Ha, right.

I lost count after five.
Some shots as well.

Erm, and is that normal for you?

Do... do you need to...?

I'm sorry. I do, actually.
That's fine.

I'll just be two minutes.
That's fine.

HELEN CLEARS THROAT
Dr Cavendish.

Yes.
It's... it's Maggie's mum.

Right.

Can you check it again
in ten minutes?

No, OK, yeah.

No, understood.

As soon as possible?

Yep. OK, thanks.

SHE SIGHS

So, where were we?

What are you chalking up today?
A gallbladder removal.

Oh, the pregnant woman?
Yeah, I thought you'd want that one.

Thank you, Jack.

Oh, God, I have missed the buzz
of a proper challenge.

Well, yeah,
and because you were pregnant.

Erm...

The interview panel - what order
are you meeting members in?

The interviews aren't for weeks.

Really?
Great you're feeling so confident.

The mother's circumstances haven't
changed since we removed Sami.

It's a sad situation.

I can't tell you
how delighted we are

that you're keen to welcome
this baby into your family.

Well, we do have some questions.
Well, of course.

What are they?

Oh, well, erm, well,
the extended family are still...

Oh, their circumstances and attitude
regarding adoption remain unchanged.

So it's us, or she goes into care?

Or another...
I mean, we're not the only family.

Demand does outstrip supply,

especially
with your cultural heritage.

And, of course, we do prioritise
placing siblings together.

How is Sami?

Oh, he's great.
Fine, yeah, fine.

Everyone seems happy
with his development.

Yeah, really happy, yeah.

He still is only two.
There's lots we don't know.

But so far, totally normal.

Yeah, I spend my days looking at him
thinking,

"Do you have ADHD,
or are you just two?"

Hard to take off the doctor's hat,
I expect.

Yeah, it can be.

Well, I'm sure he'll be excited
about being a big brother.

Oh, he's already a big brother.
Yeah, we had a baby. Another baby.

Yeah, pregnant during the pandemic.

Of course, congratulations!

I miscarried, had six...

W-Well, we didn't think
I could carry to full term.

We'd need to do
a suitability assessment again.

Any changes in your health
since last time?

Sleep deprivation.

Oh, yeah.
I'm really not good on no sleep.

I mean, there's a reason why
they use it as a torture technique.

I mean, is it postnatal depression,

or is it a rational response
to physical and emotional trauma?

What kind of support do you have,
you know, nearby?

Ah, the grandparents
have been amazing.

When they've not had to isolate.

It's given us real,
quality time with the boys.

Well, you were at work.

Maryam's back at work also, so...

How do you feel you're coping?

VOICEMAIL: 'This is Dr Guy
Cavendish. Please leave a message.'

Hi. It's me, where are you?

You don't start teaching
till half past.

Could you give me a call
when you get this, please?

SHE SIGHS

Have you seen Guy?

Is he not teaching?

I've gotta go and get Maggie.

You're in the middle of a shift.

I'm aware of that. I'll be half
an hour, page me if you need me.

Well, then what are you gonna do?
Er, I don't know.

Bring her here?
Would it help if I stayed?

I can't ask you to do that.
Besides, you've been here all night.

You're not asking, I'm offering.

Thank you.

Is there something else
you can give me for the pain? Sorry.

I guess it's good preparation
for labour.

Ah-ha, don't worry, this is
far easier than giving birth.

Work busy?

Oh, is... Is it a problem
with the machines, or...?

Oh, no, no, you carry on.

Just dreading
what the inbox is gonna look like

after six weeks of maternity leave.

And what do you do?

Erm, I am a solicitor,
big family law firm.

What was that? Things haven't been
great, we shouldn't be lying.

That felt like sabotage.
I said no decisions today,

and you're all like,
"Is it us or care"?

What do you think's gonna happen?
I cannot take responsibility!

Who will? What about
the next ten babies she has removed?

Are we gonna adopt them all?

How long
have you been looking at Sami

wondering what's wrong with him?

Do you know, what I wouldn't give
for your ignorance

of what might be in store
for Sami and that baby.

"That baby"?
What?

With Sami,
we always said, OUR baby.

Oh...

I'm gonna be late for work.

You're still well enough
for work, then? Yes, I am!

That's great, yeah.
Well, get...

Can you get in the car?
Where are you going?

I'm teaching... in a hour!

Fuck!

SHE HUFFS

SHE SIGHS

Page cardiology, OK?
I'll call you back.

Hello.

You seem absolutely fine.

She's been coughing consistently
and her temperature was 38.1.

Was she jumping about
when you took it?

She needs to be in isolation.

Could she not be in isolation here,
in the sick bay?

No.

I'm working,
and I don't have any childcare so...

Where's Dad?
He's also working, we're doctors.

In a hospital.

For the NHS.

SHE RETCHES

Sorry, Mummy.

So, the paternity document
gives him rights to equal custody

and to apply for full custody.
Right.

Don't worry, the bias is still
in favour of the mother, everywhere.

They'd have to prove your daughter

was significantly better off
with them. OK.

I would advise drafting something
to ensure that all parties

are working towards the same
understanding of shared custody.

You do need a clear framework

otherwise their understanding
might be

"Elis goes to school in Sweden."

Sure.

What if Elis did go to school,
or even preschool, in Sweden?

Well, the framework
can be whatever you want.

It wouldn't be that much,
it's just tough, with the on-calls

and the nights and the weekends
and the money,

but when I'm a consultant,
it gets easier.

Why don't you
give me a call tomorrow?

You didn't even flinch
when I just said about Elis

going to school in Sweden.

Neither did you when I said I was
going back to work after six weeks.

PHONE BUZZES
Oh. I've gotta get this.

Oh, er, just a sec, Tom.

Will I have a horrible scar
to add to the stretch marks?

Not if I'm doing it.

Oh.

Are you Steve?

From Quality Care
and Patient Safety. Yes. Hello.

You must be Maryam...
Or is it Marry-am?

Some people find Maz easier.
Maz. Great.

Erm, did you want to get
a coffee...

Oh, a flat white would be lovely.
With oat milk if they've got it.

Yeah. OK. I'll just leave...

I spy with my little eye

something beginning with O.

OK, er, orange?

There's no oranges around here.

Shall I explain
how this works again, Tessa?

MUSIC: 'Tearz'
by El Michels Affair

Yes.

# I tried to hold back my tears

# I tried to hold back my sorrow

# I wonder if I can hold it
Till tomorrow... #

Ow! Shit.

# After the laughter comes tears. #

Er, ointment.
No.

Otoscope.

I think that's an ophthalmoscope.

Ophthalmoscope.
No.

First off, the most important thing
to say is I'm so sorry

you're having to go through this.

Oximeter.
No.

Oxybutynin.
No.

Mummy!
Something beginning with O.

O... er, trolley.

Yes!

So, my role in all of this
is to liaise between the family

and any staff involved in,
or affected by, the incident.

You asked to see me...
Could I speak to the parents?

No.

I... I just want to tell them
how sorry I am.

It's in your best interests
not to do that.

How?

Well, they'll almost certainly
imply personal

or organisational culpability.
Then we'll both end up being sued!

Rest assured, they have been offered
the Trust's full condolences.

But when will the panel
make a decision on culpability?

Well, they don't seem
to assign blame to any individual.

Most recommend changes
to the system.

Failing systems let everyone down.

You, the other clinicians involved
and the family.

And Edward.
Yes, most of all, of course, Edward.

I don't think
you're gonna get struck off,

if that's what you're worried about.

Well, when will they make
their recommendations, then?

There'll be a meeting
to draw together conclusions

and actions,
probably in a few weeks.

So, I just, what, carry on?

The panel may want to interview you.

Particularly
as there's a disagreement

between you and Dr Segman,

as in your instructions to him
to call Microbiology.

Or not. From his perspective.

Have you ever attended
an assertiveness course?

What makes you think
I'm not assertive?

Well, I'm not on the panel.

It's not for me to draw conclusions,

it's just, it's a training course
that is often offered as a response

to this kind of...
it's here somewhere.

You know, is there a course
for arrogant pricks

who can't take instructions
from a woman?

Have you ever attended
any talking therapy?

I will say there's a waiting list.
COVID.

I'm due on the ward
in three minutes.

Oh, don't let me keep you.
And if there's anything else,

the Quality Care and Patient Safety
team are here for you, Maz.

No, thank you.

I'm doing this one.

Keep the CO2 pressure low.

MUSIC: 'Shine'
by Cleo Sol

That should do it, thank you.

# And cherish the sunshine
Leave everything behind

# And run away so far together

# Together

# A lot of pain in those eyes

# Please, don't lose your light

# Shine, shine your light, yeah

# This world was made for you

# So do what you have to do

# I wanna see you shine
Shine your light... #

Oh, that's good.

Thank you.

# This world was made for you

# So do what you have to do... #

That is the uterus,

in case they're no longer bothering
to teach female anatomy,

and we want
to stay well out of its way.

I'm moving the liver,
so we can retract the gallbladder.

Make sure you can see
both the cystic artery

and cystic duct clearly.
Three clips to the artery.

Now, cut.

Now, I'm gonna peel the gallbladder
off the liver.

This can be tricky
when it's inflamed like this

because you don't want to injure
the liver and make it bleed.

# Shine, shine your light, yeah

# This world was made for you... #

Bag for the gall bladder going in.

# Shine, shine your light...

# Yeah, the world was made for you

# So do what you have to do. #

When you're all grown up,

you'll appreciate
how brilliant that was.

And one of our frequent flyers,
Jakub Wozniak.

Jakub has interstitial lung disease

and is still recovering
from a serious COVID infection.

He's here, this time,
with a chest infection.

Are you with us, Dr Afridi?

Yeah. Absolutely. Can I take Jakub?

Well, it's not pic 'n' mix,
but they were asking for you,

so, yes, you can. Bay 15.
Mae, can you take bay four?

Dr Fisher says
I have to come with you.

MAZ SPEAKS UKRAINIAN

Dr Maz is back!

This is Jakub, his sister Zoya,
and mum, Katarina.

This is Dr Simon Segman.

Jakub is one
of our frequent fliers.

Yeah,
the in-flight entertainment's crap.

Is it OK if Simon has a listen
to your chest, please?

Oh, congratulations!

This bit's not so bad,
the first few months...

Yeah, it's no fun.

SHE SPEAKS UKRAINIAN

So, he's struggling for breath,
the nights are really bad,

his temperature's been
a little high,

and he's coughing a lot.

I am here.
OK, you wanna say something?

Well, I... I had COVID.

She can see that,
she has your notes.

I was in ITU for two weeks.
I was lucky to get out alive.

Stop saying that? She doesn't
understand what I'm saying.

He thinks it's funny.
Yeah, ITU was hilarious.

SHE SPEAKS UKRAINIAN

There's some fine crackles,
bilaterally.

JAKUB COUGHS
OK, so, Jakub,

your most recent
lung function tests,

which were taken
after your COVID infection,

show that your lung function
has deteriorated significantly.

SHE SPEAKS UKRAINIAN

Another chest infection
isn't good news.

SHE SPEAKS UKRAINIAN

Do you mind if I have a listen too?

Deep breath for me.

MAZ SPEAKS UKRAINIAN

OK.
SHE SPEAKS UKRAINIAN

THEY SPEAK UKRAINIAN
TO EACH OTHER

We'll touch base
with his respiratory team

at St Harry's
and let them know you're here.

I'm going to admit you, Jakub,

they'll take you up
to the Rainbow Ward

as soon as there's a side room free.

Have they fixed the Wi-Fi?

I doubt it.

Yeah, I told you I needed
to download stuff before we came,

now I'm gonna be stuck up there
with a load of toddlers,

hanging out a window for 3G.

Er, I've got loads of data
left on my mobile...

..if you want to download something.

How can you speak Ukrainian?

So I can speak to Jakub's family.

I can only say a few things,

I've been seeing them
since I was your age.

Long time, then. Can you read
your notes back to me, please.

Yeah, I'm going to get him
an urgent CXR,

bloods to include WCC,

neutrophils, CRP and blood cultures
and to get a sputum MC+S urgently.

You're going to contact
his respiratory consultant

at St Harry's
to discuss antibiotics.

I'm going to prescribe
his regular medication on the charts

and let the physio know
that he is here.

How much longer
are you gonna make me do this?

How much longer
are you going to be with us?

Maryam, did you know
that Raz is here

and he has a young lad with him?

Clare!

Is Mags in the junior doctors'
office or are they that young now?

Where have you been? Teaching.
Have you got my messages?

Tessa's doing a great job.
Oh yeah, cos it's fine for me

to compromise my professional
relationships

with childcare favours.

Because my professional
relationships

are a beacon of fucking integrity.

Can you speak to bed two
about his heart failure,

so I can go make some calls?
Alcoholic cardiomyopathy?

Yeah, I'd say so.

Shall I cancel date night again?
Had you forgotten?

No. No, we're double dating,
aren't we?

With that guy that you
never have time to play tennis with.

Who are we setting him up with?
Catherine.

Surgeon Catherine?
Yes. What?

Nothing, he's just a nice guy.
Not exactly her type.

Yeah, I'm not sure that
we're best placed

to judge other people's
romantic choices, though, are we?

YAWNING

This isn't fair,
you need to go home, Tessa.

I'll sort it. Thank you.

No, she's the rescue centre

and I'm the person
with the emergency.

Do you want to play?

Oh, I can't sweetheart, sorry.
Trying to work.

She is the prettiest lady
I have ever seen.

OK. Hello, what emergency, please?

Quick.

DIAL TONE

Oh, excellent.

Hi, Callum, it's Helen.

Yeah. Aunty Helen.

I know this is
a bit out of the blue,

but are you free today
to look after your cousin?

Sarah? Everything went really well.

How are you feeling?

My stomach hurts.

OK.

I need to poo.

OK. Let me just take a quick look.

Oh, my tummy hurts.

GROANING

Fuck.

GROANING CONTINUES

Sarah?
Sarah, you're having your baby.

It's crowning.
When was the last time you did this?

Excellent.
SARAH GROANING

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, stop pushing.
Stop pushing.

Slow down for me. That's it.
Call the neonatal crash team.

SARAH PANTING

MACHINES BEEPING

OK, another one coming. OK.

Keep pushing, push.
That's it. Keep... Keep pushing.

Where's the crash team?

That's it. OK, push.

SARAH STRAINING
That's it. OK, keep pushing.

Nearly here... Oh...

Here it comes. Oh...

Great work. Ah!

SARAH STRAINS

Oh! Hello. Wow!

Oh...

Have we got anything
to clamp the cord with?

MACHINES BEEPING

Where is the crash team?!
Come on. Come on, baby.

CHATTER

SHE EXHALES

Shit! I didn't deliver the placenta.

We see this kind of heart damage
in men your age

who've been drinking too much
for a long time.

I should go home and see the kids.

Well, if you wanna see them finish
school, you need to stop drinking.

I hear you, Doc, I do.
Can I get home and see 'em now?

There are organisations
I can put you in touch with.

I don't need none of that. I'm
not an alcoholic, for God's sake.

They can support you
in making some lifestyle changes.

Give me some pills, and I'll...
I'll calm it down a bit.

You're an HGV driver?
Yeah.

Key worker, like yourself.

You'll need to inform the DVLA
that you have a heart condition.

And also that you have
a problem with alcohol.

W...

Well, they'll take away me licence.
I won't be able to work.

Until you can demonstrate
you're in treatment, yes.

I don't have an issue with alcohol!

I'm asking you to tell them,
Mr Massie.

Otherwise, I will.

Take your shoes off.
And wash your hands.

Take your shoes off, Maggie!

Er, so, she's fine
to go and watch TV in the...

in the den,

and if she falls asleep, that's...
that's fine.

Now, in the...
There's pizza in the freezer,

and the, er, babysitter's gonna
drop the other two off about six.

You OK?
Yeah. This house.

Oh, I know. Sorry, it's a...
it's a bit of a mess.

The, erm, the pizza is..

Whoa. Does this work?
Er, yeah. It's a bit...

out of tune, but...

Er, yeah, maybe, erm...
don't touch...

HE PLAYS:
'Early One Morning'

Do you play?

No, no. Guy used to.

It's a family thing, the piano.
It's been in his family for years.

Like Downton Abbey?

Yeah, his, erm...

His dad is the second son
of, um, an earl. So he's...

he's not gonna get an inheritance,
but yeah.

A bit like Downton Abbey.

I thought
Mum was just making shit up.

SHE CHUCKLES
How is she getting on?

She's off somewhere at the minute.

But she'll come back, eventually.

Always does.

Worse for wear, an' that.

But...

nothing to worry about.

SOFTLY: No. Erm...

This is, er...

Thank you.
That's too much. No, no.

It's fine, honestly.
I really appreciate it.

It was short notice. So...

Do you not need to get back?
Oh, yeah.

I just need to grab
a change of clothes.

Yeah.

Hiya.

Were you playing the piano?

Yeah. Do you want me to teach you?

Please, Mummy?
Yeah, go on.

Up here, then, half-pint.
What's a half-pint?

You are.
HE PLAYS NOTES

Just there.

This one goes
a little bit to the left.

So I'm like, "That's not on",
and I just punched the greenhouse.

Well, Jayden, I would say
that the greenhouse won.

Nah, Miss, it's fucked.

In't it, Sir?
Language.

And it's Doctor, not Miss.

We need to wait for surgery,

to see if there's any damage
to the tendons.

Simon, can you ask a nurse
to show you

how to steri-strip
the shallower cuts there?

And do you want us to
take a look at those for you?

It's long waits in A&E.

Will they scar?

Not if they're sutured properly.

All right.

There you go, Simon.
You need some extra practice.

Oh, no, no, no,
you're all right, mate.

I'll risk A&E. You're busy, so...

Are you sure?
Mm.

I-I'd give it a good go.

No, you look after the children.

Mr Massie is about to
give himself a heart attack.

He said you're calling the DVLA?

He's not engaging
with his drink problem.

We haven't even got a treatment plan
in place for him yet.

Give him a chance!

Are you all right?

Pancreatitis, then AF.
How many chances does he need?

You want him
driving a four-tonne lorry

after his next big night out?
All right.

If he's gonna change,
he needs to take responsibility,

and he can't do that
if you take it for him.

He has got three kids,
for fuck's sake!

Who lets themself
get into that kind of a state?

He's as bad as your sister.

Maggie's fine, by the way.
I left her with Callum.

Callum?
Yes.

Debbie's son.

My nephew.

HE SCOFFS

He was shouting
in the greenhouse at no-one,

and then he just
puts his fist through it.

Do you think he's hearing voices?

Well, the tomatoes
can be totally unreasonable.

I'll refer him. You know,
he's been on a waiting list

for CAMHS since before the pandemic.

He's put his father in hospital.

He's made three attempts
on his own life.

I mean, what does it take
to get him some help?

Have the family tried a charity...
He's in care, Maz.

Been through four foster homes
since I've known him.

You're right.

That wait time is unacceptable.

What I can do is treat his hand
and follow up with CAMHS.

How is that good enough?

It isn't. That's all I can do.

# What is more beautiful
Tonight... #

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY

# And bluer than the sky

# I had to climb... #

SHE VOMITS

COUGHING, RETCHING

# Higher and higher

# Until I fall, until I fall... #

Have you always known you were gay?

Erm...

Yeah.

Well, when did you tell your mum?

I didn't, really.

Sh-She just kind of always knew,
and...

then I introduced her
to a boyfriend.

Do you think my mum knows?

I mean, I don't speak Ukrainian,

but yeah, I think she knows.

HE LAUGHS

LAUGHING
TURNS TO COUGHING

Am I going to get better?

Er...

Right. Right.
No, it's just...

I mean, I-I mean,
I don't know what to say.

Not if we can't...
It's been so bad since COVID.

And I'm used to chest infections,
but this is...

We are going to do
everything that we can for you.

# Until I fall, until I fall... #

When I was pregnant, the only thing
that touched the sides

of my morning sickness
was ginger biscuits.

I still have some in my locker,
if you want them.

It's OK.

I'm not...

I'm not gonna continue with it,
so...

Why does that stop you
from having a Ginger Nut?

I mean,
they're probably out of date.

SHE LAUGHS

SHE EXHALES

# Are you alone now? #

Be kind to yourself.

# Are you... #

Thank you.

# Are you alone now? #

RECORDED VOICE: 'Floor two.'

Evening, Jack.
Guy. Helen.

You look lovely.
Oh, thanks.

Just off out with Catherine,
actually.

She told me she had a date
this evening. Yeah.

It's a double date.

Right.
It's a friend of mine.

Really nice guy.

'Ground floor.

'Doors opening.'
Have a great night.

Thanks.

SHE SIGHS

BABY CRYING

'They said it wasn't your fault.'

Got an infection, your body can...

reject the pregnancy
to protect itself.

It could have been the pressure
on the uterus from the operation,

or the dip in adrenaline
once it was all over. Or, yes,

your infected gallbladder
might have been such a threat,

it made you deliver early
to focus on saving yourself.

How can my body...

H-How could I do this?

It's not your fault either.

Elis's birth was awful.

I haemorrhaged so badly
I was in a coma for two days.

Almost died giving birth to her.

Perhaps that was
my body's way of telling me

I'm not cut out to be a mother.

And now I love her so much,
I worry that might kill me.

Can't believe I thought I was
going back to work after six weeks.

What an idiot.

I'm never letting her
out of my sight.

Do you think Jack Oliviera
is handsome?

I think he's a twat.
Doesn't really answer my question.

Ah. Terrific.

Oh, I'll do it.

I thought
you were just getting a glass.

They'll want a glass of wine.
They might want white.

Then we'll get a bottle of white.

Zoya?

Are you still volunteering
at the children's charity?

Yeah, we're swamped. Why?

Is there a process
for referrals for counselling?

I wouldn't usually, but can I
ask you for special treatment?

Of course.

Sorry.
No, it's all right.

Crazy day. Hi.

Hi. Hi.
Hiya.

Hello, I'm...
Hello again.

Catherine.

It's Matt.

I knew that. Anaesthetist Matt.

What, you two already
know each other?

Well, just from around...
I saved Matt from killing someone

by intubating too early.
And Catherine, er..

I think offered to sleep with me
if I stayed to do an operation.

I think I offered
the father of my child

to pick up your dog, actually.
Well... that time.

Catherine, wine?

Hell, yes!

Ooh, thank you.
Ah, erm, I'll get another bottle.

Absolutely! Cheers to that!

Cheers!
ALL LAUGH AND TOAST

And there's Archie,

smacking me on the forehead
at 6:00am, saying,

"Daddy, Daddy, I don't like
this kind of chocolate."

Oh, God!

I know. I know. I know!

Sorry, we can only talk about
children and work.

We've literally got nothing else,
have we?

So, Matt.
Hm.

Caroline.

Are we doing this all night?

Well, I'm gonna run out of Cs
eventually,

then it'll be less funny.

Less funny?
Let's see if I notice that. Oh!

I hear you play tennis?

Oh. No, erm, I literally
have never played tennis.

Then why were we gonna play tennis?
I watch tennis.

Ah. Yes, I'm sorry.

I see how this misunderstanding
occurred. I watch football.

Oh, I have a season ticket for City.

Catherine, I'm so sorry,
I've made a terrible mistake.

If you wanna make a break for it
now, we'll cover for you.

Catherine, we, erm,
get another bottle?

Yes, keep it coming.

Hi. Could we get another bottle
of the Rioja Reserva, please?

Thank you.

What do you think?

Dunno.

It's just talking to someone.

It's unlikely
you'll have tendon surgery after.

What are you thinking, Jayden?

Inside my head's a lot scarier
than broken glass.

You'd better let someone
help you with it, then.

And then, erm... Thank you.
Yeah, in the second wave,

I was redeployed back on ICU again
with Guy.

That was full on, wasn't it?

Intensive care.
The clue was in the title

when you trained for it.
Yeah. Surgery was dead.

I was just making TikTok videos
in A&E.

Then I was pregnant.

Is that why you kept it?

Guy! Fucksake.
Sorry...

Sorry.

No, in case I got redeployed
to your team. Terrifying.

Mm. Yeah, it was, er, pretty brutal.

Did you score poorly
in your wellness appraisal?

God, those bloody forms,
such bullshit.

Yeah, actually. Yeah.

I, er, took some time off.

Last man standing!
Holding the place up.

I'm just, you know, I'm just
not used to being the last...

Like, the last person
that people see,

for that number of people.
It's, erm...

I'd rather be on gallbladders.

I did one of those today
and accidentally delivered her baby.

What?!
Thirty-one weeks, five days.

Oh, my God. Was it OK?
It was alive

when I handed it
to the obstetrician.

Yeah, that's right,
hand it to the obstetrician.

Who didn't remember me.
What, from Elis? Yeah.

I was like, "Not every day
your colleague nearly dies, love."

Not if you're on TikTok
during the pandemic.

Does anyone want a dessert?

Catherine, more wine?
I'll get another bottle.

No, I don't think
we need another bottle.

I'll have a coffee.
Coffee sounds good.

How are you getting home?
Er, taxi. You?

She's always policing me.
You know, I so... run a department,

so I think I know,
you know, I know...

Do you wanna get that coffee
back at mine? Hello!

Sure.
Get in!

This is outstanding work, you two!

Sorry about him,
he's had one too many...

Don't apologise. Don't...
Just don't fucking apologise for me!

Hey, Captain, you're all right.
No-one's giving you a hard time.

Sorry.

Erm, right. Shall I get the bill
on the way out?

No, no, no, it's fine.
No, we'll get it.

It's the least we can do, honestly.
Are you sure? Yeah. Go, go.

Well, thank you so much.
It was amazing.

It was lovely.
Call you tomorrow. Do.

Yeah.

Wow.

I hope he's OK.

We've all had a drink.
Yeah.

Yeah, so, we're not...

I mean, that was just
an exit strategy, right?

What a fucking day.

Are you OK?

You seem...
Why don't you have kids?

HE LAUGHS
Don't ask people that.

Sorry.

I think my baby would be better off
with someone else. But I...

Fuck. Sorry.

And I didn't deliver the placenta.

You know, how useless is that?

Let's get that coffee.

BOTH LAUGHING

# If I got it
Baby, your love brought it

# Yeah, yeah... #

DOOR SLAMS

Oh.

Er...

I forgot you were here.

Hello.

I'm Matt.

Will it... Will it scar?
Keep still.

Yeah, sorry.

I can't adopt her
just because I feel guilty.

Or I'm worried
I'm gonna break your heart.

I do feel guilty. I feel horrible.

Are you saying
you don't wanna do it?

I'm saying I don't know.

After us, Sami, Xavi and this place,

I don't know if there's enough of me
left for anyone else.

I don't know.

So, er, this is just
a regular Wednesday night for you?

You go out, you pick up some guy,
you bring him back home?

What night of the week did we meet,
again?

It's not an acceptable environment
for Elis. You are a mother now.

Elis would have been
totally oblivious.

Which is how I would like to be
very shortly, thank you.

Look, look, look. I'm...
I'm not a babysitter, OK?

I'm her father. And I get a say
in how she is raised,

and I am not happy with this...
this situation.

You're her father, not mine.

You know, I think it would be best

if you and Brigitta
stay in a hotel the next time.

Next time,

Elis will be coming with us,
to Sweden.

Sorry about this.

# Tell me how to be like you

# Live my life as someone new

# Cos every day, the same pain

# Begins to feel OK

# But every night, I close my eyes

# And it's there again

# When you're down on the floor
Cut to the bone

# Keep on breaking when you're broke

# When time never heals
It just seems to make it worse

# Yeah, it's gotta make you wonder

# How it's supposed
To make you stronger

# I know I gotta wait in line

# For good things
Only come with time

# But every day

# The same pain begins to feel OK

# And every night, I close my eyes

# And it's there again

# When you're down on the floor
Cut to the bone

# Keep on breaking
When you're broke. #

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