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1
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,570
- Astrid?
- Yes, I'm fine.
2
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:29,863
Let's do this, I'm up.
3
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:31,698
Oh, you're not with them?
4
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,408
- No, I thought
they were with you.
5
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,993
Thought that it's your job to...
I just...
6
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,619
I thought they were with you,
at this moment.
7
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:39,289
- Relax, James. It's not like
anyone exploded.
8
00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:40,373
Viv with Betty.
9
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:42,333
- One exploded.
Still pretty good.
10
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,171
Look at the mess
you made!
11
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,630
You're cleaning this up.
12
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,632
I put you in jail for a reason.
13
00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,426
- I could get out
whenever I want!
14
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,011
- No, you can't.
- You're poo-poo.
15
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,637
- You're a poo-poo!
- You are!
16
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,639
- Okay, Viv, Viv, come out
from the clothes, please.
17
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:58,725
- Felix, what are you doing
here? Come on, buddy.
18
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,351
- I put her in jail. She's dumb.
19
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,936
- You can't call
your sister dumb.
20
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:04,105
Anyone overhears that, you're
gonna get canceled very hard.
21
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,523
- What's burning?
Did you burn cereal?
22
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,025
I'm making eggs.
23
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,360
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Okay, it's fine.
24
00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:10,904
Here we go. Back up!
25
00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,906
- Astrid: There's a lot of
research out there that shows
26
00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:16,242
people with kids are less happy
than people without kids.
27
00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:19,329
- And look, it's hard to argue
with the facts.
28
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:21,081
Before kids, we had this.
29
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,460
Now, we have this.
30
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,799
Before,
it was kinda like this.
31
00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,469
Now, it's more like this.
32
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:38,723
And we swapped this,
for this.
33
00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:43,269
So, it's very possible
that these big idiots
34
00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:47,065
have made a huge mistake
by having these little idiots.
35
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,399
Idiots like us.
36
00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:51,069
These are our kids,
Felix and Vivian.
37
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,695
I'm Astrid, this is James.
38
00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:55,281
And I'm James.
Now there's two of them.
39
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:59,285
No! Anyway,
are parents less happy
40
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:00,620
than childless people?
41
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:02,080
How do you even
measure happiness?
42
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,498
That's where I can help.
43
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,083
You see, before becoming
a full-time mom,
44
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,334
I was a data analyst.
45
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,461
So, I take raw,
quantifiable data
46
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,796
like money, free time,
47
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,548
uninterrupted minutes
on the toilet,
48
00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:13,508
and I present them in ways
that people can understand.
49
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,426
But what about the data
you can't measure?
50
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:18,471
Like joy, pride,
and good vibes, man?
51
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:20,223
Shouldn't that count too
- JAMES: Yeah, right?
52
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,183
Maybe we don't have as much
money or time or fun,
53
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:24,936
- but we do have...
- You know, kids.
54
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,814
- Yeah, that stuff can
just go on the floor.
55
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:29,774
- Think of the floor
as one big shelf.
56
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:30,775
- Kids certainly do.
57
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,235
- Chuck emailed me last night.
58
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,237
- Hey, how is old Chucky?
59
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,446
- That's my old boss.
60
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,948
- Yeah, I didn't know.
You caught me.
61
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,908
- He said my job's available
in a few months
62
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,243
if I'm ready to go back.
63
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,619
- Oh! That's amazing!
64
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,538
Do you... It's totally
up to you. We need the money.
65
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,665
- Yes, no, I'm definitely
going back. I need to earn.
66
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,292
And also,
my brain's turning to mush.
67
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,710
The other day, I forgot the word
"Japan."
68
00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:50,378
- That was today.
- When I'm a working girl,
69
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,131
I'll never forget Japan again.
So, I just need to let 'em know.
70
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,717
- Viv's hogging the red crayons.
- No, I'm not.
71
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,427
- Okay, guys,
we're having coffee.
72
00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:58,678
This is our time, remember?
73
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,305
- You guys shouldn't be drawing
anyway
74
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:02,098
unless you're ready for school.
Are you ready for school?
75
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,474
- I need underwear.
- Well...
76
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,934
- Buddy, you're wearing pants.
77
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,728
- Yeah, that's called
going commando.
78
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:09,022
That can't be right.
They, for sure, wore underwear.
79
00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:11,649
- Or bareback. No, that's
not right either. Raw dog!
80
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:16,196
You know what we should do?
We should celebrate.
81
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:17,113
- Yes.
82
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,615
- A nice dinner,
just you and me.
83
00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:20,491
- Can we find
a last minute babysitter
84
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:21,993
that can handle Viv?
85
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,789
- The kids can't come.
Breakfast this morning
86
00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:27,957
was like a Vikings' banquet.
87
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,209
- No, it's normal.
88
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,585
My sister and I
used to have wet bread fights.
89
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:31,794
- I'd like to go to a nice place
90
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,379
where they don't let you
throw wet bread.
91
00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:35,590
- I thought you said it was
supposed to be a celebration.
92
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:40,011
- Okay, well, all
the babysitters are booked.
93
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,888
Anyway, aren't you going to
Ennis's tonight?
94
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,139
- I'll just bail.
95
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,891
We should do something nice.
We never do that anymore.
96
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,393
- What? Didn't we just have that
turkey cranberry thing?
97
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:48,728
- Christmas dinner?
98
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,105
- Why don't we order
a fancy pizza?
99
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:52,523
- No, no, no,
that's not nice enough.
100
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,943
I'm gonna make us
the pork shoulder thing,
101
00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:56,236
and you are gonna love it.
102
00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:58,488
- So, do I have to buy
the stuff for that, too?
103
00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:01,532
- No. Yes, yes. Yes, please.
104
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,038
- What?
105
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,540
- Your coffee, your coffee.
- No, there's caffeine in that.
106
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,084
- Tonight, we celebrate
two incomes.
107
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:16,839
- Yatta! That means,
"we did it", in... place.
108
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:17,715
- You can do it!
109
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,884
- Japan!
- There it is!
110
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,344
- Bye!
111
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:26,891
That one?
We do that one?
112
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,268
Hello, Astrid.
113
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:29,519
- Oh, Dawn. Hi.
114
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,354
- I'm so surprised
to see you in here.
115
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,982
This place is so overpriced.
116
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,567
Nine dollars for mustard?
117
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,862
- Yes, well,
it's a special occasion.
118
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:42,073
We're splurging on an animal
who's seen the sunlight.
119
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,741
- Say hi to Dawn Aunty.
- Hi.
120
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,786
Your cousin Cory and uncle Bo
are looking at the bone broth.
121
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,955
- Go on.
- Hey!
122
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,457
How's Bo?
He seems smiley.
123
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:52,750
- Having a nervous breakdown
124
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,210
and being ousted
from his own company
125
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,462
was the best thing
that's ever happened to him.
126
00:04:56,504 --> 00:05:00,883
He loves homeschooling Cory and
is teaching himself to craft.
127
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,094
Did he craft that fun hat?
128
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:05,096
- Still learning.
129
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,473
So, what's the occasion?
130
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:11,227
Uh, well, in a few months, I'm
going back to work, paid work.
131
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,980
- Astrid, this is fantastic!
- I know.
132
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:15,273
- Have you told Mom yet?
133
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,483
She's worried you betrayed
your feminist ideals.
134
00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:18,818
- No, I didn't betray anything.
135
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,528
I stayed home because James
makes more money
136
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,780
because he has a valuable penis
and I have a garbage vagina.
137
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,073
Please don't tell Mom
138
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,783
because I really don't need
the career advice.
139
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,785
- Oh, you don't wanna know
about what make-up to wear
140
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,662
or how shiny your work clothes
should be?
141
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,331
- No, I've already heard about
how shiny
142
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:32,832
my at-home clothes should be.
143
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,083
Speaking of Mom,
144
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,169
did you get her email
about the vegan food...
145
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:39,047
I think she read it on a blog...
146
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:46,888
- ♪ My love must be a kind
of blind love ♪
147
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:53,436
♪ I can't see anyone but... ♪
148
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,691
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Does she know how to breathe?
149
00:05:58,733 --> 00:05:59,901
Really breathe?
150
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:01,527
- Yes, she's an ace breather,
Bo, thank you.
151
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,864
- It's natural, kiddo, all this
stuff used to be animals.
152
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,115
- Okay, she's just never seen
153
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,368
a decapitated animal before,
have you?
154
00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:09,452
- Oh.
155
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:12,997
- Okay, maybe we skip
the meat for today?
156
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,378
- Hey, James,
I sent you a work email.
157
00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:21,631
- You sent me a work email?
And...
158
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:23,424
Hey, Ennis!
159
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,968
You cannot send me
deep fake nudes of myself.
160
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:28,429
- I'm an artist.
Are you confirmed for tonight?
161
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:29,931
- Yeah, I'm gonna try
and make it, yes.
162
00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:32,517
- No, no, that is the battle-cry
of the no-show.
163
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:33,684
- I have a family thing.
164
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,228
- So, come after.
It's not complicated.
165
00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:37,271
Why am I the only one
working in this friendship?
166
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:38,481
- Nice nudes, James.
167
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,233
Hey, Marla, this is not...
This is a joke.
168
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:42,443
Yeah, I know, relax.
Ennis already sent 'em to me.
169
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,779
- How's it goin', boss?
- Considering what a goldmine
170
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,489
the pandemic has been
for the grocery world,
171
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,116
I'd say it's going
pretty freakin' well!
172
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:50,827
- Except for the death
and the illness, though, right?
173
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:53,329
- Sure. But we're opening
four new franchises
174
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,872
in the next 15 months.
175
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,124
I could kiss COVID.
176
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,750
- That's definitely
how you get it.
177
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,961
- We're gonna sweat, and we're
gonna bleed and we're gonna cry.
178
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:01,421
And who knows
what fluids will leak?
179
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:03,423
But once we crush
these openings,
180
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:06,676
this gal is gonna be a VP.
181
00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:09,971
- Awesome! Is there anything
you needed?
182
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:11,931
- Just your hard work.
Your loyalty.
183
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:15,268
And James,
you're gonna need those balls.
184
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,062
- Uh, not mine.
185
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,982
- Why did she point at me
when she said fluids?
186
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:22,316
- I'm asking Astrid.
187
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,110
- Don't hide behind Astrid.
You promised you'd come
188
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,487
and now you're using your family
as an excuse to suck.
189
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,739
- She says I can go, it's cool.
- Great, okay!
190
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:31,742
- Give me your buy-in
so I know you're locked in.
191
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,704
It's a new policy.
192
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,457
This is
a very special dinner
193
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,292
because we're celebrating
Mom going back to work.
194
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,752
Yes.
Celebration pasta.
195
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,379
No meat at all, Viv.
196
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,339
- I like meat.
197
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,259
- Okay, 'cause this morning,
you...
198
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,510
You know what? Never mind.
199
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:50,970
Just gonna blow
right past that one.
200
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,723
- It's okay. Let's raise
our glasses to Mummy
201
00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:56,392
who put her career on hold,
a big sacrifice,
202
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,853
that mostly women have to make
because we live in a patriarchy,
203
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,439
- James?
- Yep, let's focus. Here it is.
204
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,524
- Cheers.
- The cheers!
205
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,735
- The cheers, to you, and you,
and to you...
206
00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:07,904
- And to all of us.
- To all of us.
207
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:09,697
Okay. Now, Felix...
208
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,949
- Cheers! Cheers!
209
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:15,203
- Hey, Felix. Did something
happen at school today
210
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:17,205
that maybe made you feel proud?
211
00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:18,498
Diarrhea.
212
00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:20,625
- Felix, your father's
asking you a question.
213
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:21,834
- Diarrhea.
214
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:25,671
- Let's just sit down
and commence the civilized meal.
215
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,381
Toilet!
216
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:29,717
- Toilet is a toilet word, Viv.
217
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:33,763
I'll be the first one
to admit
218
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:36,015
that children
are naturally jerks.
219
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,519
As parents, you have to stop
jerk-like behavior
220
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,646
or it will get worse
and worse as they get older.
221
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,272
And the world
has enough adult jerks,
222
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,566
so, you know,
please do your part.
223
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:48,236
- My name is
DJ Poopy-in-the-house!
224
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:50,738
My name is
DJ Peepee-in-the-house!
225
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:53,282
- We don't need to
make the bread pee and poo.
226
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,825
- That's enough.
Viv, go back to your seat.
227
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,453
Felix, eat your food!
- Eat your food.
228
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,498
- Viv, Felix, sit down.
Let's enjoy Mummy's great meal.
229
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,668
I don't want it. It's gross.
230
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:06,796
All right, enough! Enough!
231
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:08,923
Everybody calm down.
232
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:13,052
Now, this is really important
to Mummy and Daddy. Understand?
233
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:16,347
So, I promise you, that if
we just stay in our seats,
234
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,640
and we don't yell at each other
235
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,684
and we don't make
gross noises...
236
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:26,566
- I promise that we can have
a really nice time.
237
00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:28,359
- I love it.
- So, how about this?
238
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:32,113
How about we reset this dinner?
Okay? A do-over.
239
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,782
- Do-over!
- Yep. Okay?
240
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,826
Starting with the cheers. Okay?
241
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,452
- Do-over!
- Right.
242
00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:40,788
Cheers, everybody, ready?
243
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,331
Cheers.
244
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,083
- Oh, my God! Okay, okay.
245
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,585
Don't move,
don't move!
246
00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,545
Don't move,
there's glass everywhere,
247
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,505
it get in your eyes,
you need your eyes.
248
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,674
James!
249
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,051
- Shit!
- Toilet word!
250
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:01,684
- Well, we'll try again
when they're teenagers.
251
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,144
- Do you have to go to Ennis's?
252
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:04,395
- I already bought in,
253
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,272
and he gave me a whole thing
about bailing.
254
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:09,150
- If you stay,
I'll make it worth your while.
255
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,862
- The sad thing is
that this is working on me.
256
00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:15,698
- Like a little bit of this?
- Yeah, these are all the moves.
257
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,867
These are all my favorites.
258
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:20,161
- I've got glass in my bum.
259
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,456
- No, I don't think
you have glass in your bum.
260
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:26,709
- Yes, I do. It's cutting me.
I can feel it right now!
261
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:29,086
- It seems unlikely
'cause we were wearing pants.
262
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:30,963
- Yeah, it seems...
- There is.
263
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,798
You have to get it out.
264
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,842
- Okay, okay, how about this?
265
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,261
I think before Daddy goes
to have fun with his friends,
266
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,972
maybe he should
check your bum for glass.
267
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,772
Can be
a little depressing, but...
268
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:48,939
Look at her.
269
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,441
- Slow down.
- Not bad.
270
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,651
You gotta move fast,
271
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:53,194
or else you'll never find
what you're looking for.
272
00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:54,820
- How're you making decisions
this quick?
273
00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:56,405
What's wrong with her?
- She's wearing a sweater--
274
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,491
- What about--
-She does cartwheels.
275
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,618
- Can you go back?
- No, you don't want to.
276
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,994
You gotta pay extra to do that.
277
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,496
- Is that her dog?
- Okay, see this one?
278
00:11:03,537 --> 00:11:04,872
- Yeah?
- Yeah, you think yoga pose
279
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,165
means bendy in a sexy way,
280
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,667
but really it means
a lot of conversations
281
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,460
about how you don't drink
enough water.
282
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,670
How's Astrid?
283
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:14,799
- No, yeah, she's great.
She's going back to work.
284
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,217
We tried to celebrate tonight,
285
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,386
but Felix and Viv were going
through a sabotage phase.
286
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:21,222
- I keep telling you
having kids is a huge mistake.
287
00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,724
- And I thought you'd stop
telling me that once I had them.
288
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,184
- Well, they keep
proving my point.
289
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:27,311
But, unlike your kids,
I can actually help.
290
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,772
I have a reservation
tomorrow night at Fauf Nine.
291
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,357
It's a phenomenal new place,
but I can't go
292
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:33,567
because my dodgeball team
made the playoffs.
293
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,194
- Wait, you still play
ironic sports?
294
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,279
- I take my dodgeball
very seriously.
295
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:39,615
Try to hit me with that pillow.
- No.
296
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:42,076
- Smart choice,
you would have missed.
297
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,161
- So, this--
- Fauf--
298
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,454
- All right. Is it expensive?
299
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,415
'Cause last month
I got a parking ticket
300
00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:48,833
and I couldn't afford deodorant.
301
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:50,793
- I'll tell you what.
Play your cards right tonight,
302
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,838
and maybe you could win
the cash you need.
303
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:57,425
♪
304
00:11:57,925 --> 00:12:00,094
- I need a hay.
- No, that's what sheeps do.
305
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,805
Do you have any sheep?
306
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,266
- Don't.
307
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:06,976
You know where to put it!
308
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:09,603
- That's gonna come back to
haunt you, I don't know how.
309
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,231
All right, sheep for you.
310
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,528
Always fun.
311
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,405
I said I needed sheep!
312
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,994
- Five.
- Okay, okay, okay.
313
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,706
- Just so you know,
I am four points away
314
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,332
from being your champion
of the evening.
315
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:31,709
- James and I only need
one point.
316
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,919
- I've faced worse odds.
Are you done?
317
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,379
- I need a wheat.
- I've wheat.
318
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,548
- I've wood. Wood for weed.
- I don't need wood.
319
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,341
I need sheep. I need sheep.
320
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:41,594
Okay, stop.
But if I had a wheat,
321
00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:44,180
I could build a town, you know,
322
00:12:44,221 --> 00:12:46,599
the kind of town that one
might take their wife out on.
323
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,810
- Well, in this economy,
wheat will cost you a sheep.
324
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:52,313
- Help me out here.
- That's a good price!
325
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:55,232
You won't make the deal?
No wheat off my back.
326
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:56,734
- Wonderful!
- What?
327
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,737
I'm now able to make
the longest roads.
328
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,030
- What?
- A winning move!
329
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:02,239
- Are you serious? Where?
330
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,908
Come on.
Don't be shy, boy.
331
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,368
- I still want that reservation.
332
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:17,213
- Wake up, wake up, wake up!
333
00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:19,006
This shouldn't
be happening.
334
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,342
- Wake up, wake up, wake up!
335
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:22,760
- Can I get an hour?
336
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,220
- Yeah, I already gave you
an hour.
337
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:26,347
- Your turn to battle the kids.
- You can't win!
338
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,556
- Thirty minutes.
- No!
339
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:28,766
You can't go out
with your friends
340
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,351
and sleep till 9:30. Get him!
341
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:32,269
- No, wait! Time!
I made a reservation
342
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,814
at Fauf Nine. Very nice,
hard to get into,
343
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,732
dinner, just the two of us.
344
00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:38,567
- Did you book a babysitter?
345
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:42,112
Okay, okay. I texted
your mom, I texted your mom.
346
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,364
- What?
- I...
347
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:44,406
- The last time,
348
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:45,825
they were eating bowls
of whipped cream
349
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:47,326
and watching
Fast and the Furious.
350
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:48,577
- I know, Felix ruined
the ending for me.
351
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:49,829
- Shaw killed Seoul-Oh.
352
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:51,831
- Yes, Shaw killed me as well,
I feel like.
353
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,457
- Okay, fine.
But just so you know,
354
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,000
Viv's pretending
to water a garden
355
00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:56,919
by pouring milk on the couch,
so you're dealing with that.
356
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,839
- Okay.
- Oh, my God!
357
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:10,850
- Watch me, I'm Mummy.
And I'm cleaning.
358
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,102
- No, Daddy cleans too.
359
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:15,104
It's everyone's job
to tidy the house.
360
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:18,023
Felix, tidy the slide,
both of you clean it!
361
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:28,117
- Hello?
- Chuck, hi, it's Astrid.
362
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,702
Hi, how are ya?
How's the family?
363
00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:31,453
- I'm good, I'm good,
yeah, they're good.
364
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:34,623
Listen, I was just calling
because I wanted to take you up
365
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:35,916
on that job offer.
366
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:38,168
- So, you're coming back?
- Yes.
367
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,962
Well, that's great news!
368
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,882
♪
369
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:53,976
- Stop! Stop it! Stop it!
370
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,644
- What?
- No, no, not you.
371
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,521
Sorry, no, not you.
372
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,940
Yes, I'll totally learn
the new software.
373
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,651
- Great!
- Yeah, that would be amazing.
374
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,361
Thank you.
375
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:11,243
Hey,
I'm cleaning this part.
376
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:14,246
Nanima's here!
377
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,498
- Astrid: Hi!
- I'm here to save the day.
378
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,083
- Thank you so much
for babysitting.
379
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,878
You know the rules. No boys,
don't touch the thermostat.
380
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,172
- This is for lunch and dinner
tomorrow.
381
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,924
Aloo gobi for you, bittoo!
382
00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:27,635
- My little vegetarian!
- She's not a... What?
383
00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:29,261
- And gummy candies
for the kids.
384
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:31,722
Have they seen the movie
Pan's Labyrinth?
385
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,599
- That's not a kid's movie.
386
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:34,934
- We'll see.
387
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:37,770
And congratulations on your job.
388
00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:40,314
Dawn was worried you'd given up
on your feminist ideals.
389
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:42,858
- What? No!
- Oh, I forgot to tell you.
390
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,402
I ran into Christine's mom
in Hyde Park.
391
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:47,279
- I haven't seen Christine
in 20 years.
392
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:48,864
- Well, her brother's
a gambling addict,
393
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:52,785
and he stole Marco's van.
So, that's where she's at.
394
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,411
- Okay, I don't--
395
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,664
- Okay, well, why don't you go
get changed for your big night?
396
00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:57,831
- This is what I'm wearing.
397
00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,375
- You don't have
something shinier?
398
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:02,503
- Uh-oh. Is that the in-laws?
Get out of here, Nisha!
399
00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:05,255
- You ruined my daughter's life,
you sack of crap!
400
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,049
- Oh, my God! Okay.
- Okay.
401
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:09,259
- Just put a little extra
mustard on that one, this time.
402
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,345
We're just having fun.
403
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,561
- Are we underdressed?
- Almost always.
404
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:25,693
- Hello, we've reservations
for eight under Ennis, I think.
405
00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:29,613
- Looks like you guys
are already here.
406
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,366
- And I said, "It's more
like reodorant."
407
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,076
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
408
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:37,079
- Thank you very much.
- Hey, Ennis.
409
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:39,164
- Hi.
410
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:43,377
Right.
411
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:45,254
I was supposed to give you
this table.
412
00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:46,547
Mm-hm.
413
00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:48,716
- But then I met Penelope here
while I was at Zara's,
414
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:50,676
shopping for socks.
- Good evening.
415
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:51,760
- What's this?
416
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:53,512
- Astrid, you look great.
- Thank you.
417
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:54,680
I just dressed up
418
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,348
'cause I was looking forward
to the night out.
419
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,642
- Yeah, I thought you guys
couldn't afford this place.
420
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,102
- We can't.
- Yeah.
421
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:03,480
We're only here because
you gave us the reservation.
422
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,525
- Now what do you want me to do?
423
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,575
James, how's your duck?
424
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,952
- It's great, Ennis, thank you.
425
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,620
- It's cool.
426
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,457
- So, Penelope, um,
427
00:17:21,498 --> 00:17:23,834
you work at Zara?
- No, I work for an NGO.
428
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:28,255
I help develop non-GMO enriched
rice for developing countries.
429
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:33,052
- That's cool.
Sounds fulfilling.
430
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:35,220
- Yeah, it really is.
How about you?
431
00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:40,059
- Oh. Job-wise, I'm a data
analyst for the city.
432
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,603
Well, I was,
but now I'm just a mom.
433
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:45,064
- No such thing as just a mom,
she's amazing.
434
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:47,900
- You guys have kids.
I love kids.
435
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:52,112
You do? Well, that's great.
436
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,032
- Oh, my God, my mom's saying
something's wrong.
437
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,868
She says it's Felix.
It's his stomach.
438
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,079
It's a stabbing pain,
he's in tears!
439
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:03,916
- Oh, my God, did he actually
eat glass last night?
440
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,258
- I'll get the check.
441
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,558
- So hungry.
442
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,148
Yeah.
443
00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:33,779
- He didn't eat the food
after the glass broke.
444
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:37,241
- I did. Somebody had to.
445
00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:40,869
- Do you need help?
446
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,830
- Could you just hold him
for a second?
447
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:44,665
- Yeah, sure.
- Thank you.
448
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:46,333
- Remember when
Viv ate a spider?
449
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:49,753
Just smashed it up with a block
and put it in her mouth.
450
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,213
Like a...
451
00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:59,888
♪ I only have eyes ♪
452
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:05,185
♪ For you ♪
453
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,813
- I wanna have another baby.
454
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:11,316
- I'll just take him back now.
455
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,568
- Sure.
456
00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:13,944
- Since when?
457
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,029
- Since I can't stop
thinking about it.
458
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,324
We agreed on two.
And we did it!
459
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:21,535
We get one of each gender,
it's like the perfect--
460
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,412
I mean, I know
gender's a spectrum...
461
00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:26,373
Okay, but I can't shake
this feeling
462
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:28,041
that someone is missing,
463
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,502
like our family is
not totally complete.
464
00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:32,880
- Can we try getting
a guinea pig
465
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,464
and see if that hits the spot?
466
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,842
What about going back to work?
What about money?
467
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,970
I'm almost 40, we're just
starting to go back out again.
468
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,055
- I get that
it doesn't make sense.
469
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:43,640
- I'm just telling you
how I feel.
470
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,185
- And I appreciate that
and I support how you feel.
471
00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:48,061
But I feel the opposite.
472
00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:50,189
- Person: Mr. and Mrs. Berney?
- Yes.
473
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:51,690
- I had a look at the X-rays,
474
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:54,234
and I haven't been able
to locate any glass.
475
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,445
- Yeah, we didn't find any
when we checked his bum.
476
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:58,030
- "We."
- The intestines
477
00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:01,909
are here, and you see these
black circles here and here?
478
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,870
- Why are they perfectly round?
What are the black circles?
479
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,205
- It's gas.
480
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:09,291
He just needs to vacate the gas
and he'll probably feel fine.
481
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,002
- So, you're prescribing a fart?
- Yes.
482
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,630
A warm bath,
or gently massaging--
483
00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:18,050
- No, no, he knows how.
He'll be thrilled.
484
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,260
- Thank you.
485
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,013
- Astrid: So,
are the studies right?
486
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,724
Are parents less happy
than the childless people
487
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,935
who have all their free time
and money to themselves?
488
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:29,811
- Probably.
- Definitely.
489
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:31,230
- Hey! Look at this.
490
00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,482
It's the who's who
of the vegan food scene.
491
00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:34,650
- You made it!
492
00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:36,443
Being
a parent can suck.
493
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:39,196
Every injury, every heartache,
every mess, you're in charge.
494
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:42,032
- I'm sorry you didn't get to
celebrate going back to work.
495
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,367
- We're celebrating now.
496
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,035
- Yes, we are. To Astrid.
497
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,453
- To Astrid.
498
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,664
- To Astrid.
- Cheers.
499
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,165
But there are moments,
500
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:54,378
incredible moments that
you can't find anywhere else.
501
00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:57,297
Life isn't always as fun or cool
as it was before.
502
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,799
Never. Not even close.
503
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,134
But those moments,
they make up for it.
504
00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:03,470
So, we just try
to have as many as we can.
505
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,013
She means moments,
not kids.
506
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,306
You don't know
what I mean.
507
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,892
Okay, all right, that's nice.
508
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:11,186
Okay, hi, hi.
509
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:13,272
- Okay.
510
00:21:18,485 --> 00:21:20,153
- Try to hit me with
one of those pillows.
511
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:21,905
- No.
- No, go ahead, give it a shot.
512
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,532
See how fast I can move.
- I'll believe you.
513
00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:25,200
- I choose to believe you.
- Look ahead.
514
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,119
Ready? Wanna see
how fast I can move?
515
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,120
Oh.
516
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:30,247
In the face,
see that's not allowed.
517
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:33,625
You can't hit me in the face.
So, that's how I get you.
518
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,044
- Okay.
36558
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