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It's hard to imagine now
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but not long ago,
homosexuality was something
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to be hidden at all costs.
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I now pronounce you
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spouses for life.
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50 years ago, homosexual acts
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were illegal in every province in Canada
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and every state in America.
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To be a homosexual was to live in exile
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from mainstream society.
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Society looked at homosexuals not just
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as a subculture who are
engaging in illicit sex
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and possibly prostitution, they were also
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a community of people who were sick
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and deviant.
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I like them in the closet.
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We should shoot a few of
these people or hang them.
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And for the brave few who declared
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their homosexuality, it
was a life in the shadows.
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The price for being openly gay was that
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you were poor and you had shit jobs
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like being a waiter.
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And a lot of people
devoted their entire lives
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to being gay at a terrible cost.
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Most chose to hide.
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They sought to move like ghosts through
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the straight world, invisible to all.
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It was called passing.
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It's very difficult to remember
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the complete and utter
invisibility of gay people
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at that time.
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Not only did people not really believe that
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there were gay lawyers and professionals,
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and middle class people
and people in the suburbs,
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it was unfathomable.
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People didn't believe
that gay people existed.
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When I worked for Time
Magazine in the 60's,
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being human I wanted to talk somewhat
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about my personal life to my colleagues
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and friends but it all had to be straight
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so instead of talking about
Bill, a six foot two blonde,
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I had to talk about Nancy,
a five foot one blonde.
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And then you had to remember your lies.
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It was hell to live
through and you felt always
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so duplicitous because you couldn't really
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be intimate with your straight friends
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because you were lying to all them
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and you knew if they
discovered the terrible truth,
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a, you would be fired from your job,
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and b, you would lose all your friends.
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When I got out of the Navy, I went
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with a couple guys and we used the same
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two lesbians as girlfriends
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which you think someone
would have picked up on.
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I always went with Betty and whoever
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I happened to be going
with went with Pauline.
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It was always a case of showing up
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with someone of the other sex.
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I married when I was 19,
right out of high school.
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And it was a very rocky
time because deep down
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inside, I knew that I was gay
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but I had fought it so many years
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and hidden it so many years, I just figured
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I could go on through life doing that.
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The price of marriage
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was the cultivation of a secret life.
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I can remember being married
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and Sunday night after
church, I would go by
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this drug store and he
had muscle men magazines
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underneath the counter
and you'd have to ask
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to see them.
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That was the only magazines
or anything we had
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to look at.
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I was too embarassed to buy them,
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so I would make my
girlfriend I was living with
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buy them for me.
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So she would go and say, "I'll take the
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"Grecian Guild, please."
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And they all had the alibi of being
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about ancient Greece or
about weight lifting.
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For most men in the closet,
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sex was furtive, anonymous, and often
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in public places.
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All we could do was go out to the bars,
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or else go to the park.
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We would go and park our cars
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and walk out into the woods and meet
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different people and have sex there.
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And then you go on with your life.
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That's how we lived.
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We lived closeted.
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It was a dangerous life.
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And police harassment
and the risk of arrest
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were an ever present threat.
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Getting caught meant personal ruin
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and humiliation.
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For a long, long time, the police
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had been involved with a process
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of trying to supress, marginalize,
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and clean up the subcultures that they saw
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as illegitimate and the
police were ruthless.
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The major problem with homosexuals
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is the places of congregation to commit
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their sex acts in public places
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where they walk the streets hoping
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to make a pickup.
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They had vice working the park.
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They'd go up there in cut offs,
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as sexy as they could be and then
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when you put a make on
them, they'd arrest ya.
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They'd up come sometime in a bus
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and arrest enough people
to almost fill the bus.
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People had it hidden deep inside them
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and were very guilt ridden about it.
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If you were closeted and you were married,
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you didn't have any place to go.
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Most hotels would not rent to men
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and if you did, you might
very well had the police
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bang through the door.
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People went into public washrooms,
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and into parks, and that
would be the first place
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they could kiss another man.
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The lack of understanding
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and acceptance leads to the creation
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of a lurid set of myths about homosexuals.
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The medical profession and the psychiatric
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profession are very
much part of this story.
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Homosexuality was not just criminalized,
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it was medicalized.
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You grew up with a lot
of shame, a lot of denial,
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sometimes actually
listening to what you read
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in the medical books which was that
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being gay was a disability or a condition.
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I really would pray that it would just
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go away.
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I prayed that I would just magically
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have a girlfriend and I would wake up
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every day and it was still there.
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Many of them would undergo
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this behavioral reconditioning
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which was you would bring pornography
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that turned you on and
then they would project it
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and then shock you or induce vomiting.
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It's hard to underestimate
how dire things were.
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Most parents were doing it for the good
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of the child, they knew that if the son
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became homosexual, he was condemned
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to live a very difficult and unhappy life.
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The parents would take their son
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to a physician who had been educated
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in the medical school where homosexuality
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was considered a disease.
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If he thought it was a serious problem,
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then he'd recommend treatment.
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You would go through a year or more
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of electric shock before
you finally decided
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that you really ought to
find women interesting.
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I went to a shrink for 20
years trying to get straight.
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I was engaged twice.
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The ideal was to have the trap door
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beside the bed to get rid of the evidence
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that you were gay so
that you could start off
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with a clean slate.
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Maybe today I'll go straight.
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But a few pioneers start
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to push the idea that
homosexuals have nothing
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to be ashamed of.
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It's part of the spirit of the times
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as one minority group after another demands
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to be heard.
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In 1965, the first gay protest
in North American history
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occurs.
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In order to present
homosexuals as respectable
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and employable, male participants
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are required to wear ties,
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preferably with a jacket.
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And women are told to wear skirts.
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In 1969, Canada moves to the foreground
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of the new social revolution
when it decriminalizes
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same sex intimacy in the
privacy of one's home.
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There's no place for
the state in the bedrooms
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of the nation and I think that what's done
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in private between adults doesn't concern
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a criminal court.
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In the US, the battle over homosexual
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rights erupts on a June evening in 1969
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at a tavern called The Stonewall.
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As an angry mob of drag queens,
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mixed race, black, and young people
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fight back against a police raid.
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Those individuals were
largely on the outskirts
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of society.
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They were gender non-conformist,
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There were drag queens there.
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There were a number of individuals
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that don't necesarrily
fit within the mainstream.
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There were lots of what we call A trainers,
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that is, people who came on the A train
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from Harlem.
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People had nothing left to lose.
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These guys had been fighting the police
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all their lives and now they were doing it
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as gays but they had done
it as oppressed minorities
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before anyway.
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I think it was in the air.
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We weren't going to take it any more.
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We were going to fight back this time.
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With Stonewall, gays experienced
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the power that could come from standing up
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for themselves.
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With the new consciousness,
comes a new idea.
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The secret to happiness
was to admit to being
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homosexual, to come out.
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As the 70's started happening,
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you actually for the
first time started having
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an actual human being who would get up
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and actually say, "I am a homosexual."
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A thousand gay liberationists
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demonstrate in New York,
urging the city council
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to pass a homosexual rights bill.
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What do homosexuals do?
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We eat, we sleep, we watch television.
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That's what we do.
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We do what human beings do.
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I've never come out on anything
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like television and
said, "I am a lesbian."
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And it's a very frightening thing to do.
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Word of Stonewall drifts back to Canada
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where gays are increasingly
feeling inspired
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00:11:08,850 --> 00:11:11,756
by the battle to the south.
231
00:11:12,659 --> 00:11:15,400
The first gay pride march
in Canada takes place
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on a cold, wet August morning in 1971.
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It's organized by an American draft dodger
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living in Toronto.
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All we want to do is love persons
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of the same sex and live
our lives as we decide.
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Gay power!
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00:11:33,410 --> 00:11:35,496
A generation gap starts to emerge
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between the gays who
came of age in an earlier
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00:11:38,067 --> 00:11:41,549
time and those growing up in the 1960's.
241
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Fearing the consequences, the vast majority
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choose to stay in the closet.
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They were going around saying things like,
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"Gay is good," which was an
echo, "Black is beautiful."
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The idea of having a gay magazine
246
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or a gay organization, we would say,
247
00:11:57,506 --> 00:12:01,272
"Well, we're criminals,
should safe crackers
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00:12:01,282 --> 00:12:05,309
"have their own magazine?
This is ridiculous."
249
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It wasn't like Stonewall happened and then
250
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the next day everyone came out
251
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and everything was beautiful.
252
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Everybody had their own individual journeys
253
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that they had to struggle with.
254
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There were no role models.
255
00:12:17,682 --> 00:12:20,536
There was no history showing the 10 people
256
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that I know who went
through this and boy did
257
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their lives turn out great.
258
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The word on the street were the people
259
00:12:26,905 --> 00:12:29,566
who had been arrested and lost everything.
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The people who had been
thrown out of the military,
261
00:12:32,216 --> 00:12:34,542
the people who had lost their jobs,
262
00:12:34,552 --> 00:12:37,379
and the fears were real.
263
00:12:42,233 --> 00:12:44,174
But for those who were out,
264
00:12:44,184 --> 00:12:46,638
the dream of having a
life like other people
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starts to grow.
266
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With this ring
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With this ring
268
00:12:50,345 --> 00:12:51,598
I give thee my promise
269
00:12:51,608 --> 00:12:53,198
I give thee my promise
270
00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:54,718
With my heart I will love thee,
271
00:12:54,728 --> 00:12:56,654
With my heart I will love thee,
272
00:12:56,664 --> 00:12:58,542
With my body I will worship thee,
273
00:12:58,552 --> 00:13:01,742
With my body I will worship thee,
274
00:13:01,752 --> 00:13:04,291
You may kiss.
275
00:13:06,664 --> 00:13:08,494
The continuing lack of acceptance
276
00:13:08,504 --> 00:13:10,911
in mainstream society meant gay life
277
00:13:10,921 --> 00:13:14,291
could only flourish in
so called gay ghettos.
278
00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:17,854
It was this definite feeling of freedom
279
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:20,238
in these little protected ghettos
280
00:13:20,248 --> 00:13:23,598
that we created, that Stonewall allowed.
281
00:13:23,608 --> 00:13:27,631
And instead of living a
life of hookups in a park
282
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:30,334
or bars where you risked arrest,
283
00:13:30,344 --> 00:13:33,951
you could celebrate en
masse with large numbers
284
00:13:33,961 --> 00:13:37,422
of men and feel a sense of community
285
00:13:37,432 --> 00:13:41,522
and to feel that freedom
was just extraordinary.
286
00:13:43,672 --> 00:13:46,654
But slowly outside the ghetto walls,
287
00:13:46,664 --> 00:13:49,231
a few key allies started to emerge,
288
00:13:49,241 --> 00:13:52,242
including the parents of some gay children.
289
00:13:52,984 --> 00:13:55,438
When you had anybody who was outside
290
00:13:55,448 --> 00:13:57,694
support you, it was really profound.
291
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,902
So when you actually had a parent?
292
00:13:59,912 --> 00:14:01,854
Who actually would say good things
293
00:14:01,864 --> 00:14:04,622
about his or her son or daughter?
294
00:14:04,632 --> 00:14:06,511
Like, oh my God, you know.
295
00:14:06,521 --> 00:14:09,678
I can tell you people just hugged them
296
00:14:09,688 --> 00:14:12,351
and loved them, partly because they knew
297
00:14:12,361 --> 00:14:15,362
their parent didn't react that way.
298
00:14:16,184 --> 00:14:17,951
But the enemies of gay freedom
299
00:14:17,961 --> 00:14:21,858
remain committed to keeping
homosexuals in check.
300
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,334
You started seeing a lot more visibility.
301
00:14:24,344 --> 00:14:26,318
At the same time, there was an uppityness
302
00:14:26,328 --> 00:14:29,647
of the community and the
police really realized
303
00:14:29,657 --> 00:14:32,190
that if we don't actually do something now,
304
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,514
this is going to get
completely out of hand.
305
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,910
In the winter of 1981,
306
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,853
police in Toronto execute
a massive crackdown
307
00:14:45,863 --> 00:14:48,547
on the gay bathhouses.
308
00:14:49,368 --> 00:14:51,087
This was the largest police operation
309
00:14:51,097 --> 00:14:53,902
that had happened against
the lesbian and gay
310
00:14:53,912 --> 00:14:55,775
community and it was, in fact, the largest
311
00:14:55,785 --> 00:14:57,678
mass arrest in Canadian history.
312
00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:01,106
Second only to the war measures act.
313
00:15:02,328 --> 00:15:03,775
He says, "You're all being charged
314
00:15:03,785 --> 00:15:05,422
"for being in a body house."
315
00:15:05,432 --> 00:15:06,638
I was flabbergasted.
316
00:15:06,648 --> 00:15:09,666
I still had no idea what
he was talking about.
317
00:15:11,656 --> 00:15:14,014
The police went whole hog, decided to do it
318
00:15:14,024 --> 00:15:16,734
all on one night, arrest
as many people as possible.
319
00:15:16,744 --> 00:15:21,230
Let's drag them in, let's
really teach them a lesson.
320
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,198
You were in a room and you just started
321
00:15:23,208 --> 00:15:24,175
hearing commotion.
322
00:15:24,185 --> 00:15:25,327
You didn't know what was going on
323
00:15:25,337 --> 00:15:26,607
and then a cop would
come and smash the door
324
00:15:26,617 --> 00:15:28,207
and would drag you in and put you in.
325
00:15:28,217 --> 00:15:29,887
And if you were naked, so be it.
326
00:15:29,897 --> 00:15:31,230
The people in the shower would be grabbed
327
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,211
out of the shower room.
328
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,574
It happened February 5th, on the morning
329
00:15:38,584 --> 00:15:40,750
of February 6th, we decided to actually
330
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:44,255
have a demonstration that very night.
331
00:15:44,373 --> 00:15:45,925
Two, four, six, eight, police state.
332
00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:53,742
You had all these people
contact their friends,
333
00:15:53,752 --> 00:15:56,061
that contacted their friends so it actually
334
00:15:56,071 --> 00:15:58,273
spread very, very fast.
335
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:03,410
It really was on an order that
had never been thought of.
336
00:16:03,481 --> 00:16:05,454
The lesbian and gay demonstration which was
337
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:08,461
far more angry and far more aggressive
338
00:16:08,471 --> 00:16:11,571
than the police ever thought
they had on their hands.
339
00:16:13,352 --> 00:16:15,342
They were completely thrown back
340
00:16:15,352 --> 00:16:17,822
by the reaction.
341
00:16:17,832 --> 00:16:19,358
You could see that they
were not at all prepared
342
00:16:19,368 --> 00:16:21,071
for this angry mob.
343
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,731
They still couldn't believe
it was in front of their eyes.
344
00:16:23,992 --> 00:16:25,901
Somebody said to me, "Police have raided
345
00:16:25,911 --> 00:16:28,671
"the bathhouses," and I said, "What have
346
00:16:28,681 --> 00:16:31,240
"they got against cleanliness?"
347
00:16:34,072 --> 00:16:35,310
The police knew nothing at all
348
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:36,477
about the gay male community.
349
00:16:36,487 --> 00:16:37,902
They actually thought there were only
350
00:16:37,912 --> 00:16:38,991
three or four hundred gay men
351
00:16:39,001 --> 00:16:40,622
in Toronto and they would all pack up
352
00:16:40,632 --> 00:16:42,077
and move to Vancouver as
a result of the raids.
353
00:16:42,087 --> 00:16:44,018
Really.
354
00:16:45,481 --> 00:16:47,294
The bathhouse raids happened in one night
355
00:16:47,304 --> 00:16:48,893
but the politics of the bathhouse raids
356
00:16:48,903 --> 00:16:51,538
were at least a couple years.
357
00:16:51,881 --> 00:16:54,477
We had 308 men who had to go through
358
00:16:54,487 --> 00:16:56,431
the legal system so we went and tracked
359
00:16:56,441 --> 00:16:58,254
each of those cases.
360
00:16:58,264 --> 00:17:00,350
We had fundraising that had to be done.
361
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,638
Those are political and social skills
362
00:17:02,648 --> 00:17:05,678
that build up a community.
363
00:17:05,688 --> 00:17:07,053
We went through what could have taken us
364
00:17:07,063 --> 00:17:09,282
20 years in 2 years.
365
00:17:12,008 --> 00:17:13,838
But within a year of the raids,
366
00:17:13,848 --> 00:17:17,182
a much bigger crisis has
emerged on the horizon.
367
00:17:17,192 --> 00:17:20,301
It represents not just
a threat to gay freedom
368
00:17:20,311 --> 00:17:23,281
but to gay life itself.
369
00:17:29,927 --> 00:17:31,311
What do you think it is
about the gay lifestyle
370
00:17:31,321 --> 00:17:33,791
that turns off so many straights?
371
00:17:33,801 --> 00:17:36,382
Well, probably that we have so much style
372
00:17:36,392 --> 00:17:38,830
and so much fun, that
we have more interesting
373
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,991
jobs than they do.
374
00:17:41,001 --> 00:17:44,238
That we generally know how to live better.
375
00:17:44,248 --> 00:17:46,498
That's probably what it is.
376
00:17:55,768 --> 00:17:57,854
By the late 1970's, gays
377
00:17:57,864 --> 00:18:01,971
were experiencing unprecendented freedom.
378
00:18:02,424 --> 00:18:04,061
It was actually fabulous
to be gay in New York
379
00:18:04,071 --> 00:18:05,422
at that time.
380
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:06,671
We weren't thinking of marriage,
381
00:18:06,681 --> 00:18:08,191
getting rid of don't ask, don't tell,
382
00:18:08,201 --> 00:18:09,774
of getting into the Boy Scouts.
383
00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:12,334
Those things weren't even issues.
384
00:18:12,344 --> 00:18:14,734
Between 69 and 81, it was the only period
385
00:18:14,744 --> 00:18:16,862
in human history when everybody,
386
00:18:16,872 --> 00:18:19,614
straight or gay, was free
to do what they wanted to
387
00:18:19,624 --> 00:18:22,558
sexually because there was birth control,
388
00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:26,801
there were antibiotics and
religion was on the wain.
389
00:18:27,641 --> 00:18:29,391
That was the golden age of promiscuity,
390
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:31,778
both for straights and gays.
391
00:18:34,711 --> 00:18:37,021
But in 1981, an enormous
392
00:18:37,031 --> 00:18:39,711
tragedy hits the gay community as a rare
393
00:18:39,721 --> 00:18:43,134
and deadly form of cancer shows up in 41
394
00:18:43,144 --> 00:18:46,611
homosexual men in New
York and San Francisco.
395
00:18:47,784 --> 00:18:49,791
Word of the outbreak
spreads rapidly through
396
00:18:49,801 --> 00:18:52,194
the gay community.
397
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:55,070
People didn't know what caused AIDs,
398
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,654
they thought maybe it had something to do
399
00:18:56,664 --> 00:18:58,158
with sex but maybe it had something to do
400
00:18:58,168 --> 00:18:59,454
with hepatitis.
401
00:18:59,464 --> 00:19:01,822
There were all these crazy theories.
402
00:19:01,832 --> 00:19:04,798
And since gay liberation
was sexual liberation
403
00:19:04,808 --> 00:19:07,214
for us, the idea of giving up sex was just
404
00:19:07,224 --> 00:19:08,734
so amazing.
405
00:19:08,744 --> 00:19:10,718
Anyway, we were young men, we weren't
406
00:19:10,728 --> 00:19:13,554
going to stop having sex.
407
00:19:14,088 --> 00:19:16,431
We had the doctors
saying, "You need to stop
408
00:19:16,441 --> 00:19:19,118
"having sex," and the sexual liberationists
409
00:19:19,128 --> 00:19:20,862
which were most gay activists were like,
410
00:19:20,872 --> 00:19:21,982
"You don't know that," and there was
411
00:19:21,992 --> 00:19:23,774
doubting of the science.
412
00:19:23,784 --> 00:19:26,014
It was a whole threat to what we had built
413
00:19:26,024 --> 00:19:28,206
up to that point and what the gay rights
414
00:19:28,216 --> 00:19:31,310
movement had focused on up until that point
415
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,889
which was sexual liberation.
416
00:19:34,952 --> 00:19:36,430
You would see men in their 20's and 30's
417
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,270
walking along with canes.
418
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,205
And the pages of the BAR
would have obituaries
419
00:19:40,215 --> 00:19:42,046
every week.
420
00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:45,087
It was a dark time in
San Francisco history.
421
00:19:45,097 --> 00:19:46,942
Over 10,000 people in this zip code alone
422
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:50,626
died from AIDs.
423
00:19:50,792 --> 00:19:53,902
I remember finding it easy to find rentals
424
00:19:53,912 --> 00:19:56,285
for an apartment because there were gay men
425
00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:58,882
who had died and didn't have family.
426
00:19:59,912 --> 00:20:01,630
This is a 1980 Christmas party.
427
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:05,730
Everybody but myself has died of AIDs.
428
00:20:08,712 --> 00:20:10,190
Everybody seemed to have been infected
429
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,662
before they found out and then it was
430
00:20:11,672 --> 00:20:16,672
just a little too late
to do much of anything.
431
00:20:17,849 --> 00:20:19,439
Through the 80's, mostly you were always
432
00:20:19,449 --> 00:20:21,822
taking people to the hospitals
433
00:20:21,832 --> 00:20:25,106
or going to funerals, something.
434
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,346
Sad, sad time.
435
00:20:29,049 --> 00:20:31,470
Lots of gay men got sick and once you were
436
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,662
sick you were probably out because
437
00:20:33,672 --> 00:20:35,421
if you were recognizable as a person
438
00:20:35,431 --> 00:20:36,959
with AIDs, people were going to think
439
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:39,330
you were gay whether you were gay or not.
440
00:20:39,912 --> 00:20:42,046
We didn't realize until we were forced
441
00:20:42,056 --> 00:20:44,910
out of the closet how hated we were.
442
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,910
We created all these little cocoons
443
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:50,159
for each other so we didn't
have to feel that hate
444
00:20:50,169 --> 00:20:53,246
or know how that hate could play out.
445
00:20:53,256 --> 00:20:56,286
And so AIDs taught us that.
446
00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:59,922
AIDs taught us how much America hated us.
447
00:21:02,072 --> 00:21:04,189
It's hard to remember now because it was
448
00:21:04,199 --> 00:21:07,806
so insane and barbaric but there were calls
449
00:21:07,816 --> 00:21:11,761
for quarantine, tattooing
people who had HIV.
450
00:21:12,056 --> 00:21:15,438
As a society, we stalled
and stalled and stalled
451
00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:18,510
and enormous amounts of deaths took place
452
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:21,839
but also the epidemic
became enormously more
453
00:21:21,849 --> 00:21:23,810
rooted.
454
00:21:25,129 --> 00:21:26,925
70% of the country's AIDs victims
455
00:21:26,935 --> 00:21:29,199
are homosexual and in cities throughout
456
00:21:29,209 --> 00:21:32,446
the country gays have
become increasingly alarmed.
457
00:21:32,456 --> 00:21:34,302
But now they are also
concerned about another
458
00:21:34,312 --> 00:21:37,166
kind of epidemic, an
epidemic of fear that is
459
00:21:37,176 --> 00:21:39,806
spreading faster than the disease itself.
460
00:21:39,816 --> 00:21:40,671
As you walk down the street, you can
461
00:21:40,681 --> 00:21:42,606
feel people pointing at you.
462
00:21:42,616 --> 00:21:45,919
Saying, "He's one who has it."
463
00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:46,831
I lost my job.
464
00:21:46,841 --> 00:21:48,190
I lost my housing.
465
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,479
I lost friends.
466
00:21:50,489 --> 00:21:53,778
I lost my own individuality.
467
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,278
As the number of deaths climbs,
468
00:21:57,288 --> 00:21:59,102
the gay community becomes increasingly
469
00:21:59,112 --> 00:22:01,726
angry at a government
that is dragging its feet
470
00:22:01,736 --> 00:22:06,002
and a society that seems
indifferent to the crisis.
471
00:22:06,489 --> 00:22:08,319
As the years go by, people are just getting
472
00:22:08,329 --> 00:22:12,050
more and more fed up and
they just want it to end.
473
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,910
Here we were, six years into the crisis,
474
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,485
thousands of us had been
diagnosed with AIDs,
475
00:22:21,495 --> 00:22:24,703
and thousands have died and our president
476
00:22:24,713 --> 00:22:27,122
hadn't even said the word?
477
00:22:27,704 --> 00:22:29,343
Let's stay together, let's stay united!
478
00:22:29,353 --> 00:22:31,150
Our mayor was ignoring it.
479
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,070
Our government wasn't spending anything
480
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,994
on AIDs research.
481
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,606
In 1986, a new kind of gay rights
482
00:22:40,616 --> 00:22:43,405
organization was born.
483
00:22:43,415 --> 00:22:46,366
It was a very strong movement from day one.
484
00:22:46,376 --> 00:22:49,470
The first meetings had
over 100 people in them.
485
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:50,910
That's big.
486
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,285
We grew very fast and from the getgo,
487
00:22:54,295 --> 00:22:56,543
we made national press.
488
00:22:56,553 --> 00:22:57,646
We're wearing all black.
489
00:22:57,656 --> 00:23:00,914
Our posters are tombstones.
490
00:23:03,216 --> 00:23:05,445
I started coming here
right after the very first
491
00:23:05,455 --> 00:23:07,942
act of demonstration which happened
492
00:23:07,952 --> 00:23:11,498
right outside where I worked.
493
00:23:11,535 --> 00:23:13,269
I found boyfriends here.
494
00:23:13,279 --> 00:23:15,365
I found friends for life.
495
00:23:15,375 --> 00:23:18,089
And I lost a lot of people here.
496
00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:21,141
I remember it filled with people,
497
00:23:21,151 --> 00:23:25,318
sweaty, fired up and angry, and sexy,
498
00:23:25,328 --> 00:23:28,325
and ready for and loving each other
499
00:23:28,335 --> 00:23:30,198
and loving what we were doing.
500
00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:31,878
You said, "Come back in a year,"
501
00:23:31,888 --> 00:23:35,850
time's up, Mario, we're here!
502
00:23:36,031 --> 00:23:39,109
We were singularly focused on HIV-AIDs
503
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:41,509
from 87 to 93.
504
00:23:41,519 --> 00:23:44,741
That's all we talked
about and it's all we used
505
00:23:44,751 --> 00:23:46,779
to build the gay rights movement.
506
00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:51,818
Joseph Campbell, Alex Zicarti,
507
00:23:52,415 --> 00:23:56,261
Fred Jones, Lewis Engle.
508
00:23:56,271 --> 00:23:58,069
As the years go by and the death toll
509
00:23:58,079 --> 00:24:01,909
climbs ever higher, the
AIDs crisis utterly consumes
510
00:24:01,919 --> 00:24:04,565
the movement for gay equality.
511
00:24:04,575 --> 00:24:07,909
It took awhile for people to move beyond
512
00:24:07,919 --> 00:24:10,118
the confusion and the questions to reach
513
00:24:10,128 --> 00:24:12,869
a point where there was
this kind of collective
514
00:24:12,879 --> 00:24:15,239
understanding within the movement that this
515
00:24:15,249 --> 00:24:18,218
was a catastrophic situation.
516
00:24:18,319 --> 00:24:21,461
This became what defined us.
517
00:24:21,471 --> 00:24:23,558
It was just a nightmare.
518
00:24:23,568 --> 00:24:27,818
It was just an absolute nightmare.
519
00:24:29,039 --> 00:24:30,581
People didn't know what to do.
520
00:24:30,591 --> 00:24:33,801
Everybody was just trying
to save people's lives.
521
00:24:36,735 --> 00:24:38,822
If you stayed quiet,
if you were complacent,
522
00:24:38,832 --> 00:24:40,869
if you wanted to just
go to cocktail parties
523
00:24:40,879 --> 00:24:42,821
and never discuss it
because it was too painful
524
00:24:42,831 --> 00:24:46,298
to discuss that everybody
was going to end up dead.
525
00:24:46,719 --> 00:24:49,545
No walking out!
526
00:24:51,009 --> 00:24:52,949
And AIDs also transforms
527
00:24:52,959 --> 00:24:55,739
the way the world sees gay men.
528
00:24:56,399 --> 00:24:59,878
America had never seen
an angry gay community,
529
00:24:59,888 --> 00:25:01,765
willing to go in front of the cameras,
530
00:25:01,775 --> 00:25:03,061
laying down in the streets,
531
00:25:03,071 --> 00:25:07,401
demanding to be heard and
in a sympathetic role.
532
00:25:07,968 --> 00:25:10,998
And even if they were
uncomfortable with the idea
533
00:25:11,008 --> 00:25:15,590
of homosexuality, it hurt
the country to know that
534
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,310
some of its citizens were
dying and the country
535
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,725
was doing nothing.
536
00:25:20,735 --> 00:25:23,129
That troubled them.
537
00:25:26,208 --> 00:25:28,165
The rise of Act Up transforms
538
00:25:28,175 --> 00:25:30,970
the way that gay men see themselves.
539
00:25:32,288 --> 00:25:34,789
Act Up really made me nervous.
540
00:25:34,799 --> 00:25:36,069
I'm 20 something years old.
541
00:25:36,079 --> 00:25:37,189
I'm coming out.
542
00:25:37,199 --> 00:25:38,549
I'm in the middle of this AIDs epidemic
543
00:25:38,559 --> 00:25:41,785
and, yes, it's not good but
we're pissing off people?
544
00:25:41,808 --> 00:25:44,198
No more red tape, no more red tape!
545
00:25:44,208 --> 00:25:46,325
Act Up shut down the opera
house on opening night.
546
00:25:46,335 --> 00:25:48,069
It made headlines all over the place.
547
00:25:48,079 --> 00:25:50,278
Oh, you're making people
angry that can help us.
548
00:25:50,288 --> 00:25:52,358
And then as I got older,
and especially now,
549
00:25:52,368 --> 00:25:55,658
I realize that Act Up saved people's lives.
550
00:25:57,152 --> 00:25:58,886
We've never gotten a government official
551
00:25:58,896 --> 00:26:00,981
to start liking homosexuals
552
00:26:00,991 --> 00:26:04,105
but we have shamed them
into doing what we want.
553
00:26:07,312 --> 00:26:08,949
Our friends were dying.
554
00:26:08,959 --> 00:26:12,069
Our family members were dying.
555
00:26:12,079 --> 00:26:13,941
In order to move pharmaceutical companies
556
00:26:13,951 --> 00:26:17,878
and policy makers off
a comfortable position,
557
00:26:17,888 --> 00:26:20,518
they made individual's lives uncomfortable.
558
00:26:20,528 --> 00:26:22,646
You have no right to
interupt this symposium.
559
00:26:22,656 --> 00:26:25,349
You will not learn
anything about combination
560
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,381
anti-retroviral therapy.
561
00:26:27,391 --> 00:26:29,765
There are doctors in
this audience with AIDs
562
00:26:29,775 --> 00:26:32,021
who don't want to be interupted by you.
563
00:26:32,031 --> 00:26:34,405
And that's all there is to it!
564
00:26:34,415 --> 00:26:37,929
No more words, we want action!
565
00:26:38,079 --> 00:26:39,829
What may have looked
a little bit like chaos
566
00:26:39,839 --> 00:26:42,245
on the outside, there
was a strategic center
567
00:26:42,255 --> 00:26:45,318
that was rather brilliant.
568
00:26:45,328 --> 00:26:47,509
People don't see us.
569
00:26:47,519 --> 00:26:51,798
People don't see the
enormity of the disease
570
00:26:51,808 --> 00:26:55,605
and the human cost of the
disease so strategically
571
00:26:55,615 --> 00:27:00,615
what we're doing is we're
making people look at us.
572
00:27:02,671 --> 00:27:05,637
The AIDs epidemic illustrated just how far
573
00:27:05,647 --> 00:27:09,013
we needed to go to right
the injustices that were
574
00:27:09,023 --> 00:27:13,130
a part of the LGBT
experience in this country.
575
00:27:17,951 --> 00:27:20,517
If you thought you knew
what it mean to be brave,
576
00:27:20,527 --> 00:27:22,917
and then you watched a
guy like Peter Staley
577
00:27:22,927 --> 00:27:26,341
and then you say, "Oh, okay,
now I know what it means
578
00:27:26,351 --> 00:27:28,313
"to be brave."
579
00:27:28,608 --> 00:27:31,097
The whole world is watching!
580
00:27:31,471 --> 00:27:33,317
In the crucible of AIDs,
581
00:27:33,327 --> 00:27:36,240
the modern gay right movement is born.
582
00:27:37,975 --> 00:27:39,661
I do not think that we would have same sex
583
00:27:39,671 --> 00:27:41,421
marriage if we hadn't, unfortunately, lost
584
00:27:41,431 --> 00:27:44,221
tens of thousands of people in this country
585
00:27:44,231 --> 00:27:47,041
and millions worldwide to AIDs.
586
00:27:47,192 --> 00:27:49,661
AIDs was the biggest coming out event
587
00:27:49,671 --> 00:27:52,081
in world history.
588
00:27:54,007 --> 00:27:55,741
Over the course of its history,
589
00:27:55,751 --> 00:27:58,925
Act Up evolves from an
activist group to a group
590
00:27:58,935 --> 00:28:02,641
intimately involved in
drug research and testing.
591
00:28:03,865 --> 00:28:07,245
In 1996, its efforts pay off with the first
592
00:28:07,255 --> 00:28:11,345
class of drugs that start to save lives.
593
00:28:12,408 --> 00:28:15,405
It became this modern
patient advocacy movement
594
00:28:15,415 --> 00:28:18,637
where you self-educate
and become the experts.
595
00:28:18,647 --> 00:28:21,421
Can we all, before it's too late, begin
596
00:28:21,431 --> 00:28:23,325
to understand each other?
597
00:28:23,335 --> 00:28:24,877
Will we realize...
598
00:28:24,887 --> 00:28:27,006
We lowered the death rates by 80%.
599
00:28:27,016 --> 00:28:28,925
Going from zero where the government
600
00:28:28,935 --> 00:28:32,381
wasn't doing anything
to having a two billion
601
00:28:32,391 --> 00:28:36,461
dollar NIH research
budget, all pushing towards
602
00:28:36,471 --> 00:28:38,495
those treatments and ultimately brought
603
00:28:38,505 --> 00:28:41,986
those drugs to eight million people.
604
00:28:42,535 --> 00:28:44,477
We just completely
shattered their impression
605
00:28:44,487 --> 00:28:47,998
of who we are as a people,
606
00:28:48,008 --> 00:28:49,885
what we're capable of, how we were
607
00:28:49,895 --> 00:28:51,661
taking care of each other,
608
00:28:51,671 --> 00:28:54,221
how we weren't limp wristed and weak
609
00:28:54,231 --> 00:28:58,017
and quietly going to go off
into the corner and die.
610
00:28:59,031 --> 00:29:00,974
We found our voice.
611
00:29:00,984 --> 00:29:03,166
We found our power and it was because
612
00:29:03,176 --> 00:29:05,777
AIDs forced us out of the closet.
613
00:29:14,135 --> 00:29:17,117
As of December 31st, 2000,
614
00:29:17,127 --> 00:29:19,517
almost half a million people had died
615
00:29:19,527 --> 00:29:22,498
in North America.
616
00:29:23,607 --> 00:29:25,597
Those who have been
fighting on the front lines
617
00:29:25,607 --> 00:29:27,261
are exhausted.
618
00:29:27,271 --> 00:29:30,205
Many of the movement leaders are dead.
619
00:29:30,215 --> 00:29:32,605
And as the crisis ebbs and men who are sick
620
00:29:32,615 --> 00:29:35,662
start to get better,
the leaders of the AIDs
621
00:29:35,672 --> 00:29:38,114
activist movement drift away.
622
00:29:41,527 --> 00:29:44,157
After all that fighting against AIDs,
623
00:29:44,167 --> 00:29:46,157
and all the loss we had gone through
624
00:29:46,167 --> 00:29:48,701
and all the memorials we had attended,
625
00:29:48,711 --> 00:29:51,037
we just all went running for the doors.
626
00:29:51,047 --> 00:29:53,441
And we walked away.
627
00:29:55,288 --> 00:29:57,134
None of the AIDs activists will play
628
00:29:57,144 --> 00:30:00,525
a major role in the battles to come.
629
00:30:00,535 --> 00:30:03,374
In their wake comes a new kind of movement,
630
00:30:03,384 --> 00:30:05,954
with a new set of goals.
631
00:30:14,505 --> 00:30:15,997
History will recall,
632
00:30:16,007 --> 00:30:18,615
Reagan and Bush did nothing at all.
633
00:30:20,283 --> 00:30:23,137
Of all the legacies of the AIDs epidemic,
634
00:30:23,147 --> 00:30:25,457
one of the biggest was that it taught gays
635
00:30:25,467 --> 00:30:28,726
how to fight back.
636
00:30:31,947 --> 00:30:34,226
We were not going to be
ushered back into a closet.
637
00:30:34,236 --> 00:30:36,977
So many of our friends, so
many of our family members
638
00:30:36,987 --> 00:30:41,777
had died that we owed
it to them to live life
639
00:30:41,787 --> 00:30:46,757
out, as proud members of American society.
640
00:30:49,419 --> 00:30:50,833
And the experience of dealing
641
00:30:50,843 --> 00:30:52,578
with unresponsive government
642
00:30:52,588 --> 00:30:55,489
and an indifferent society
convinced the movement
643
00:30:55,499 --> 00:30:59,127
that the next fight had
to be for full equality.
644
00:30:59,916 --> 00:31:02,753
It left us with a sense of how daunting
645
00:31:02,763 --> 00:31:04,546
the work was going to be,
646
00:31:04,556 --> 00:31:07,473
how elected officials in
particular could simply
647
00:31:07,483 --> 00:31:11,206
ignore us when our lives were at stake.
648
00:31:12,603 --> 00:31:14,418
When I think of where we are today
649
00:31:14,428 --> 00:31:18,337
as a strategic, smart, determined movement,
650
00:31:18,347 --> 00:31:21,057
it really formed a lot of the ways in which
651
00:31:21,067 --> 00:31:23,026
we've gone about doing anything that we've
652
00:31:23,036 --> 00:31:25,286
set out to do ever since.
653
00:31:28,027 --> 00:31:30,577
The first part is the generational question
654
00:31:30,587 --> 00:31:33,126
of who lived and who died.
655
00:31:34,683 --> 00:31:36,353
You did have for a long period of time,
656
00:31:36,363 --> 00:31:39,250
10 to 15 years, nobody having hope
657
00:31:39,260 --> 00:31:43,073
that they could survive
once they had the virus.
658
00:31:43,083 --> 00:31:46,273
But that built a political
movement as well.
659
00:31:46,283 --> 00:31:47,969
You had a number of organizations created
660
00:31:47,979 --> 00:31:50,547
during that time who realized that this
661
00:31:50,557 --> 00:31:52,753
was an opportunity, there
was political strength
662
00:31:52,763 --> 00:31:54,257
there and that people were ready to start
663
00:31:54,267 --> 00:31:56,077
using their political voice.
664
00:32:02,203 --> 00:32:04,033
With the dawn of a new millenium,
665
00:32:04,043 --> 00:32:06,049
the movement for marriage equality gains
666
00:32:06,059 --> 00:32:09,334
momentum in both Canada
and the United States.
667
00:32:13,707 --> 00:32:17,106
The goal is fair and equal
treatment under the law
668
00:32:17,116 --> 00:32:20,306
and the right to access tax
benefits and spousal rights
669
00:32:20,316 --> 00:32:25,316
previously available only to heterosexuals.
670
00:32:27,563 --> 00:32:30,577
In 2003, in a landmark decision that makes
671
00:32:30,587 --> 00:32:33,377
headlines around the world, the Canadian
672
00:32:33,387 --> 00:32:36,369
government announces
the right of gay people
673
00:32:36,379 --> 00:32:39,846
to marry is to become the law of the land.
674
00:32:43,163 --> 00:32:45,793
And the world's first legal gay marriage
675
00:32:45,803 --> 00:32:48,053
is a ceremony like no other.
676
00:32:55,387 --> 00:32:56,626
We were picked up that morning
677
00:32:56,636 --> 00:32:58,193
in an unmarked vehicle.
678
00:32:58,203 --> 00:33:01,281
We were driven in a circuitous
route to the church.
679
00:33:01,291 --> 00:33:03,698
There were protesters with devil masks.
680
00:33:03,708 --> 00:33:06,178
They had a coffin with a knife through it,
681
00:33:06,188 --> 00:33:07,249
saying this was the death of marriage
682
00:33:07,259 --> 00:33:09,061
and the death of family.
683
00:33:10,395 --> 00:33:12,578
We had been told by security people
684
00:33:12,588 --> 00:33:14,641
the moment we sign the wedding documents,
685
00:33:14,651 --> 00:33:16,145
that's the time that they're
going to try to prevent
686
00:33:16,155 --> 00:33:17,730
you from signing.
687
00:33:17,740 --> 00:33:20,838
And if we hear a shot, don't
move somebody will move you.
688
00:33:20,971 --> 00:33:23,409
Duly married in the eyes
of God and in accordance
689
00:33:23,419 --> 00:33:25,765
with the laws of our land.
690
00:33:32,315 --> 00:33:34,565
Repent!
691
00:33:34,795 --> 00:33:36,385
As gay marriage galvanizes
692
00:33:36,395 --> 00:33:39,025
the movement, it garners
a great deal of attention
693
00:33:39,035 --> 00:33:41,409
in the straight world.
694
00:33:41,419 --> 00:33:43,489
The religious right,
hellbent on stopping it,
695
00:33:43,499 --> 00:33:45,638
doubles down.
696
00:33:47,963 --> 00:33:50,433
I kept watching the gay marriage debate
697
00:33:50,443 --> 00:33:54,338
saying, "That's going to be a tough one.
698
00:33:54,348 --> 00:33:58,741
"They don't want us to win on that one."
699
00:33:59,915 --> 00:34:02,001
But this time the resources
700
00:34:02,011 --> 00:34:03,569
and the level of sophistication
that the movement
701
00:34:03,579 --> 00:34:06,885
brings to the fight are unprecedented.
702
00:34:06,939 --> 00:34:08,481
Now, across our country,
703
00:34:08,491 --> 00:34:10,000
we are standing together for the right
704
00:34:10,010 --> 00:34:12,288
of gay and lesbian Americans to marry
705
00:34:12,298 --> 00:34:14,629
the person they love.
706
00:34:14,668 --> 00:34:16,849
The process perhaps is no different
707
00:34:16,859 --> 00:34:19,025
than the way that Kellogg's
goes about selling
708
00:34:19,035 --> 00:34:21,218
cereal to consumers.
709
00:34:21,228 --> 00:34:23,888
It's based upon market
research which involves
710
00:34:23,898 --> 00:34:26,145
polling and focus groups and all of that
711
00:34:26,155 --> 00:34:27,458
is massaged into an eventual narrative.
712
00:34:27,468 --> 00:34:30,678
Gay and lesbian couples should have
713
00:34:31,130 --> 00:34:32,624
every right to experience
the joys of marriage
714
00:34:32,634 --> 00:34:35,147
and family that we do.
715
00:34:38,220 --> 00:34:41,122
Marriage is an institution of equality
716
00:34:41,132 --> 00:34:43,715
that pulls an awful lot
of other issues with it.
717
00:34:44,604 --> 00:34:47,925
It is a central institution
to our way of life.
718
00:34:48,780 --> 00:34:50,538
We grew up with parents.
719
00:34:50,548 --> 00:34:53,091
We understand that marriage is about love,
720
00:34:53,121 --> 00:34:55,158
committment and family.
721
00:34:55,908 --> 00:35:00,306
It's an easy way to explain
what equality is like.
722
00:35:02,829 --> 00:35:04,514
With marriage as the standard
723
00:35:04,524 --> 00:35:06,915
bearer, the movement pushes for acceptance
724
00:35:06,925 --> 00:35:10,662
in one bastion of heterosexual
power after another.
725
00:35:11,901 --> 00:35:13,778
Society is going to fight hardest to keep
726
00:35:13,788 --> 00:35:16,178
things that it wants for
itself and that it doesn't
727
00:35:16,188 --> 00:35:19,314
want you to have so I have spent the bulk
728
00:35:19,324 --> 00:35:21,252
of my career trying to get gay people
729
00:35:21,262 --> 00:35:25,862
into the Boy Scouts, the
military, and marriage.
730
00:35:25,948 --> 00:35:27,474
I have never been in the Boy Scouts.
731
00:35:27,484 --> 00:35:28,675
I have never been in the military.
732
00:35:28,685 --> 00:35:29,891
I have never been married
733
00:35:29,901 --> 00:35:31,282
and I have never particularly wanted
734
00:35:31,292 --> 00:35:33,091
to do any of those things.
735
00:35:33,101 --> 00:35:35,538
But, if we don't have the option, then
736
00:35:35,548 --> 00:35:38,151
we're always going to be
second class citizens.
737
00:35:42,908 --> 00:35:44,979
When I first came out, I was disappointed
738
00:35:44,989 --> 00:35:47,298
that I wouldn't have that
sort of wife and kids
739
00:35:47,308 --> 00:35:50,979
family and I think it
took a couple of years.
740
00:35:50,989 --> 00:35:53,474
Probably college, right
about when I met Duncan,
741
00:35:53,484 --> 00:35:57,558
that it clicked for me that I
could have a husband and kids.
742
00:35:58,862 --> 00:36:01,443
If you're willing to accept equality,
743
00:36:01,453 --> 00:36:03,042
for gay people to get married,
744
00:36:03,052 --> 00:36:06,919
you really can't stop short of
what that cultural story is.
745
00:36:07,101 --> 00:36:10,599
That usually evolves
into a deeper comittment.
746
00:36:11,484 --> 00:36:14,082
The schoolyard song, "First comes love,
747
00:36:14,092 --> 00:36:16,998
"then comes marriage," what's next?
748
00:36:17,084 --> 00:36:19,123
"Then comes the baby in
the baby carriage," right?
749
00:36:19,133 --> 00:36:21,299
In some cases it's not a
baby, it's an older kid
750
00:36:21,309 --> 00:36:23,939
and it's foster or adoption but that's
751
00:36:23,949 --> 00:36:26,055
the natural progression.
752
00:36:26,524 --> 00:36:28,355
With the rise of the new messaging
753
00:36:28,365 --> 00:36:31,251
around marriage equality,
mainstream attitudes
754
00:36:31,261 --> 00:36:35,286
toward homosexuality start
to shift dramatically.
755
00:36:35,373 --> 00:36:37,924
We are very much part of your community.
756
00:36:37,934 --> 00:36:39,826
We are people of color, we are men,
757
00:36:39,836 --> 00:36:41,346
we are women, we are trans,
758
00:36:41,356 --> 00:36:43,570
we are tall, we are short, we are doctors,
759
00:36:43,580 --> 00:36:47,207
we are lawyers, we are your neighbors.
760
00:36:47,837 --> 00:36:49,251
What this rise in acceptance
761
00:36:49,261 --> 00:36:51,859
means is that the options for gay people
762
00:36:51,869 --> 00:36:55,138
have never been more plentiful.
763
00:36:55,148 --> 00:36:56,930
Nobody's telling them
how to live their life.
764
00:36:56,940 --> 00:36:59,028
Nobody's telling them who they can be.
765
00:36:59,038 --> 00:37:01,154
Their future is theirs.
766
00:37:01,164 --> 00:37:02,547
They can see themself.
767
00:37:02,557 --> 00:37:05,852
They know they can be who they are.
768
00:37:05,862 --> 00:37:08,485
When I first came out, I always assumed
769
00:37:08,495 --> 00:37:09,985
that if I found somebody
I loved that I would
770
00:37:09,995 --> 00:37:11,355
be able to marry them.
771
00:37:11,548 --> 00:37:13,138
When the day did come that we were able
772
00:37:13,148 --> 00:37:15,881
to get married legally, and
share life with somebody
773
00:37:15,891 --> 00:37:19,212
of the same sex, obviously
I was extremely happy.
774
00:37:20,836 --> 00:37:23,929
Around 2003, I could see
that there was progress
775
00:37:23,939 --> 00:37:26,443
happening and people
who were gay could lead
776
00:37:26,453 --> 00:37:28,634
a life with a partner and have a family
777
00:37:28,644 --> 00:37:32,462
and not sort of have to
give all that up to be gay.
778
00:37:34,243 --> 00:37:36,515
It's the first time where
I've ever really pictured
779
00:37:36,525 --> 00:37:39,053
a life with someone and it's good.
780
00:37:42,163 --> 00:37:43,913
And with the increasing integration
781
00:37:43,923 --> 00:37:47,177
into heterosexual culture, some are asking,
782
00:37:47,187 --> 00:37:49,869
"What does it even mean to be gay?"
783
00:37:56,147 --> 00:37:59,069
My husband's bringing me a drink right now.
784
00:37:59,123 --> 00:38:01,054
So is mine.
785
00:38:03,043 --> 00:38:05,514
In many ways, the world for gay people
786
00:38:05,524 --> 00:38:08,174
has never looked brighter.
787
00:38:08,403 --> 00:38:10,858
They've achieved a level
of freedom unimaginable
788
00:38:10,868 --> 00:38:12,814
even 10 years ago.
789
00:38:14,403 --> 00:38:17,226
From pop culture to
politics to big business,
790
00:38:17,236 --> 00:38:20,429
gays are changing the world.
791
00:38:22,339 --> 00:38:25,594
This is a huge leap forward
in that there are images
792
00:38:25,604 --> 00:38:28,500
of us that are being used
to bring people together.
793
00:38:29,765 --> 00:38:32,187
We are being represented in these ads
794
00:38:32,197 --> 00:38:36,716
in a way that is inclusive,
it is kind, it is smart.
795
00:38:36,726 --> 00:38:40,479
And is an effective
strategy to sell things.
796
00:38:40,516 --> 00:38:42,635
As opposed to the years and years
797
00:38:42,645 --> 00:38:46,123
of our community being
used as a selling tool
798
00:38:46,133 --> 00:38:47,998
to divide people.
799
00:38:52,437 --> 00:38:54,715
The only way that gay people can contribute
800
00:38:54,725 --> 00:38:56,763
to anything is to be out.
801
00:38:56,773 --> 00:38:59,996
Because being gay is not
a part of who we are,
802
00:39:00,006 --> 00:39:02,686
it's all of who we are.
803
00:39:03,669 --> 00:39:05,483
I think what the gay community has to teach
804
00:39:05,493 --> 00:39:07,658
the world is the power of not being afraid
805
00:39:07,668 --> 00:39:10,047
to be yourself.
806
00:39:10,773 --> 00:39:13,642
But can gay people have it both ways?
807
00:39:13,652 --> 00:39:15,882
Can they blend into mainstream society
808
00:39:15,892 --> 00:39:18,446
and still hang onto what makes them unique?
809
00:39:19,636 --> 00:39:21,323
A lot of people say that the fight
810
00:39:21,333 --> 00:39:24,299
for same sex marriage is
all about assimilation.
811
00:39:24,309 --> 00:39:26,138
We are becoming just like straight people.
812
00:39:26,148 --> 00:39:28,458
To me, assimilation is
just a multi-syllable word
813
00:39:28,468 --> 00:39:30,206
for equality.
814
00:39:31,446 --> 00:39:32,858
We don't want to blend in.
815
00:39:32,868 --> 00:39:35,693
We just want to be treated with the same
816
00:39:35,703 --> 00:39:38,482
respect and fairness under
protection of the law.
817
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:40,942
And that's what I think
this next generation
818
00:39:40,952 --> 00:39:43,182
really have an opportunity to do which is
819
00:39:43,192 --> 00:39:45,663
maintain the specialness of our community
820
00:39:45,673 --> 00:39:49,373
and also expand the area
of rights and opportunities
821
00:39:49,383 --> 00:39:52,305
that the LGBT community has
been fighting so hard for.
822
00:39:56,952 --> 00:39:58,269
But as the boundaries
823
00:39:58,279 --> 00:40:00,685
between straight and gay break down,
824
00:40:00,695 --> 00:40:02,254
some are left wondering what might
825
00:40:02,264 --> 00:40:05,073
have been lost on the
road to full equality.
826
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:07,869
One of the great things about being gay
827
00:40:07,879 --> 00:40:11,224
was my parents never said,
"Why aren't you married?"
828
00:40:11,431 --> 00:40:14,111
Now I have to hear this every day.
829
00:40:14,121 --> 00:40:17,330
"Why aren't you married?"
830
00:40:18,071 --> 00:40:19,757
Getting married and going
into the armed forces
831
00:40:19,767 --> 00:40:22,477
were the two last things
I'd ever want for myself.
832
00:40:22,487 --> 00:40:25,550
While I appreciate the
importance of those rights
833
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,270
for the community and I
fight tirelessly for them,
834
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:31,341
there's something a little
banal about just wanting
835
00:40:31,351 --> 00:40:33,921
to be married and wanting
to go kill people overseas.
836
00:40:34,151 --> 00:40:37,121
It's what other people always did.
837
00:40:37,272 --> 00:40:38,653
I hope we're not raising a whole generation
838
00:40:38,663 --> 00:40:40,397
of 22 year olds who are
spending all their time
839
00:40:40,407 --> 00:40:43,181
like reading Bride magazine
and planning their weddings
840
00:40:43,191 --> 00:40:46,973
because I think, "but isn't
that a sign of a certain
841
00:40:46,983 --> 00:40:49,857
"emptiness?"
842
00:40:50,071 --> 00:40:52,430
I don't really think
that gay stepford wives
843
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,857
is a great solution to this movement.
844
00:40:56,952 --> 00:40:58,637
Today the gay rights movement
845
00:40:58,647 --> 00:41:00,717
is defined by how far it has come since
846
00:41:00,727 --> 00:41:03,837
the darkest days of the AIDs crisis.
847
00:41:03,847 --> 00:41:06,398
And the change may reflect something more
848
00:41:06,408 --> 00:41:08,657
than just the passage of time.
849
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,293
It's human nature.
850
00:41:11,303 --> 00:41:14,301
They don't see the death that propelled us
851
00:41:14,311 --> 00:41:18,242
into the streets in the late 80's
852
00:41:18,744 --> 00:41:22,173
and people really long to get past that.
853
00:41:22,183 --> 00:41:25,181
They want their generation to be known
854
00:41:25,191 --> 00:41:27,970
for these glorious victories.
855
00:41:28,903 --> 00:41:30,958
The idea that there is a generation
856
00:41:30,968 --> 00:41:34,270
of men and women who don't have to wonder
857
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,070
whether or not they can marry the person
858
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:41,533
that they love, who don't
have to worry about being
859
00:41:41,543 --> 00:41:44,301
able to be with the person
they love when they're dying
860
00:41:44,311 --> 00:41:49,311
in a hospital, is really a
tremendous, tremendous feeling.
861
00:41:51,271 --> 00:41:54,253
At some point we will
be far enough away from
862
00:41:54,263 --> 00:41:57,213
the struggle where we have the possibility
863
00:41:57,223 --> 00:41:59,950
of not remembering it and
that's one of the great
864
00:41:59,960 --> 00:42:02,077
responsibilities that we have to share
865
00:42:02,087 --> 00:42:03,950
with the younger generation.
866
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:05,821
I don't want them to
have to live through that
867
00:42:05,831 --> 00:42:08,290
but I don't want them not to know.
868
00:42:11,383 --> 00:42:14,062
I went to my grandniece's gay wedding.
869
00:42:14,072 --> 00:42:16,254
They'd been going together for 12 years
870
00:42:16,264 --> 00:42:18,157
and her partner's son was a preacher
871
00:42:18,167 --> 00:42:19,661
and he officiated it.
872
00:42:19,671 --> 00:42:21,261
Here I am sitting in Des Moines, Iowa
873
00:42:21,271 --> 00:42:24,097
at a gay wedding and who
would have ever thought.
874
00:42:24,471 --> 00:42:28,753
I was actually quite proud
of it to tell you the truth.
66882
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