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All language subtitles for Heavyweights (1995)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,920 (BELL RINGS) 2 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:11,360 -Excuse us! -Jeez! Get a room or somethin'. 3 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,920 You know they're gonna charge for those. 4 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,640 Those books aren't cheap, either. 5 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:19,960 What are you looking at? 6 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:22,800 (HORN HONKS) 7 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,560 BOY: Gerry, isn't that your bus? 8 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,240 GERRY: Great way to start the summer. 9 00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:31,840 Wait! Dumb bus! Stop! 10 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,440 Go, fat boy, go! 11 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:39,120 (SINGING) Everybody wants to live and they wanna live 12 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:44,480 Everybody wants to love and they wanna love 13 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:50,600 Everybody wants to be closer to free 14 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,240 Everybody wants respect 15 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,000 COACH: A little help here, son. 16 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,080 Come on, toss it over. 17 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,160 (BALL HITS FENCE) 18 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,160 Give it another try there, son. Right here. 19 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,160 (LAUGHTER) 20 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,760 Come on, over the fence, son. 21 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:29,080 (DOG SNARLS) 22 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,880 Everybody one, everybody two 23 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:37,080 Everybody three 24 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:42,120 Everybody needs to touch now and then 25 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:46,560 And everybody wants a good, good friend 26 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:50,200 Everybody wants to be 27 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:52,480 Lemonade! Lemonade! 28 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:01,440 Everybody wants to live and they wanna live 29 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:06,400 And everybody wants to love and they wanna love 30 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:12,440 Everybody wants to be closer to free 31 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,000 -Hello? -MOM: We're in here, honey. 32 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,840 DAD: Come on, son. 33 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,800 Why is everybody home? Did someone die? 34 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,520 Who's this? 35 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,480 Hi, Gerry. Roger Johnson. 36 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,080 Islander's fan? 37 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,120 Team of the future, I say. 38 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,400 Yeah. Whatever. I'm outta here. 39 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,520 Hold those horses, cowboy. 40 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,000 Mr. Johnson is your guest, 41 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,600 and he's here to talk to you about a very special summer camp. 42 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,880 A camp designed just for you, Gerry. 43 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:01,280 Summer camp? No way! I have plans for the summer. I'm gonna hang out. 44 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,400 Come on, honey, he's got a videotape for us to watch. 45 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:05,800 Why don't we just take a little peek? 46 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:07,720 Why don't we not? 47 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,760 WOMAN: Greetings, future campers. 48 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,800 I'm Alice Bushkin, and this is Harvey, 49 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,880 and we've been the owners and operators of Camp Hope 50 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,560 for 32 wonderful summers. 51 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,520 Won't you join us for number 33? 52 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,160 DAD: What's that? 53 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,320 Okay, this is called the Blob. 54 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,120 The "Blob"? 55 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:50,040 You can go as high as 15 feet on that thing. 56 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,160 Wow! 57 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,440 Go-karts! How many times can you go on the go-karts? 58 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,360 As much as you want, Gerry. But be careful. 59 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,520 They can be addicting. 60 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:10,400 I'm only kidding. 61 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,760 I'm Pat Finley. 62 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,920 I've been comin' here since I was 10 years old. Wanna know why? 63 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,000 'Cause Camp Hope is the fun way to lose weight. Right, guys? 64 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,400 It's a fat camp! Are you crazy? 65 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:26,800 No way! I'm not going to a camp with a bunch of fat loads! 66 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,400 Gerry! 67 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:31,920 -Now, That's not kind, Gerry. -We're doing this for your own good. 68 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,440 We gotta nip this thing in the bud. 69 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,880 I'm fine. This is a joke, right? 70 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,200 You're fatter than I am. Why don't you go to the camp? 71 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,000 You show your father some respect. 72 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,400 First, I think we should have a little pow-wow, 73 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,360 and we will call you with our decision later. 74 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,240 I'll give you my decision right now. I'm not going. 75 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,320 Hey there, Mr. Rainy Day. 76 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,960 I've got a little surprise for you. 77 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:24,080 Cutie! 78 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:26,960 Great! 79 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,440 Headed to fat camp? 80 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,920 No. Why do you say that? 81 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,400 'Cause you're fat. 82 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,760 -That your dad? -No. 83 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,920 -Why do you say that? -'Cause he's fat too. 84 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:49,560 Well, so are you. 85 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,000 I know. That's why I'm goin' to fat camp. 86 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,080 I'm Roy. 87 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:54,720 I'm Gerry. 88 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,560 -Yeah, I guess I'm goin'. -I knew it. 89 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,160 -And that's your dad, too, isn't it? -Hell, no. 90 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:04,120 Well, you're gonna love camp, man. Camp is awesome. 91 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,960 Plus, no one picks on you because you're not the fat kid. 92 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,200 Everybody's the fat kid. 93 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,800 Just stick with me, Gerry, because I'm the man! 94 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,360 Mr. Bushkin tells the scariest ghost stories you ever heard. 95 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:22,480 -BOYS: Hey, Roy! -Yes, have no fear. I have returned. 96 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,760 I got a rookie here and his name's Gerry. 97 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:28,360 So show him the same amount of respect that you show me, none. 98 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,560 Excuse me. I'm looking for several portly adolescents. 99 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,640 That's us. Lookin' good, Pat. 100 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,200 Tell me somethin' I don't know. 101 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:51,400 Let's load her up. 102 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,520 Hey! How are ya, guys? Phillip, how are you? 103 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,520 -This is Gerry. -Hey, Gerry. I'm Pat. Pat Finley. 104 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,760 I'm sure you recognize me from my work in the Camp Hope video. 105 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,040 We have a little tradition here, Gerry. 106 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:06,880 The new guy drives to camp. Right, guys? 107 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,360 Just try to keep it under 70, all right? We got some weird local cops. 108 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,960 -You drive a stick, right? -Well, no, but I can try. 109 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,560 No, no, no. Sorry, cannot risk it. 110 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,200 Gerry, come here a second. I gotta ask you somethin'. 111 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,200 Somethin' very serious. 112 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,800 Are you ready for the best damn summer of your life? 113 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:29,000 PAT: Let's go! Is everybody gonna behave themselves this summer? 114 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,680 -BOYS: No! -Good! That's what I expect. 115 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,400 BOY: Come on, pull over. 116 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:36,240 PAT: No, no, I can't do it. I gotta get back to camp. 117 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,320 Come on, don't bug me. 118 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,640 BOY: Please! 119 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:40,760 -All right. -(BOYS CHEERING) 120 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:42,880 (BOYS GROANING) 121 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,320 BOY: That's not funny, Pat. 122 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,920 PAT: I thought it was pretty amusing, myself. 123 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,160 -PAT: Garner, where're you from? -Long Island. 124 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,040 PAT: Never heard of it. 125 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,200 PAT: Hey, Sam, don't lean your head out the window. 126 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,120 We lost six kids like that last summer. 127 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:04,720 I'm not gonna pick up your head. 128 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,320 SAM: Leave my head, I don't need it anyway. 129 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:11,440 PAT: Camp Hope, everybody. The best place on earth! All right! 130 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,360 BOYS: (CHANTING) Camp Hope! 131 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:45,280 All right. Now, in a nice, orderly fashion, get off my bus! 132 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:46,760 Get off! Everybody off! 133 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,200 PAT: It's stuck! I don't know what to do! 134 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,360 BOY: Open the door! 135 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:01,880 Heads up! 136 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,960 -Hey, bony butt! -How was your year, chicken legs? 137 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,360 -It's not funny, okay guys? -Why are they teasing him? 138 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,320 That's a counselor named Tim. 139 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,360 He used to be one of us, but then he lost weight. 140 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,440 So we like to give him a hard time about it. 141 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:17,520 He's cool, though. 142 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:20,960 Hey, Tim, what happened? Did you have a baby? 143 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:27,120 That's funny. Just 'cause I got these great, skinny buns of steel. 144 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,920 Look at that. All tight and taut. I bet you wish they were yours. 145 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,720 Take a look, boys. The envy of the entire camp. 146 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,360 Up there is the bald eagle, which is a... 147 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,720 -Hi. -Hi. 148 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,920 I'm Julie, the new nurse. 149 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:48,640 Pat. 150 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:53,200 Pat, I'm a little lost. Can you tell me where the infirmary is? 151 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,520 Let's see. 152 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,160 No. 153 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,000 Oh, well, I'll find it. 154 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,000 Nice to meet you. 155 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,480 Pat, you've been comin' here since you were 10, 156 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:21,200 and you don't know where the infirmary is? 157 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,480 I panicked. 158 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,880 Pat, what are we gonna do with you, man? 159 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,240 -Help me with these bags, all right? -All right. 160 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,080 Garner? Let's get workin' on this trunk. 161 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,040 -You got a girlfriend? -No. 162 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,760 So, you broke up with her before the summer, 163 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,840 so you could be free to play the field? 164 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,240 Yeah, you gotta play the field. 165 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,880 Yeah, I break up with my girlfriend before every summer. 166 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,000 You gotta be free, you know? All right, put it down. 167 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:52,600 Well, this is it, Gerry. I've been the counselor in here for 10 years. 168 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:53,920 I hope you're ready. 169 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,320 You'll be hangin' with some pretty cool cats. 170 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,920 -Josh, how you doin', man? -Roy. 171 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:06,280 I just saw the new nurse, and she's very attractive. 172 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,320 This pleases me. 173 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:12,480 PAT: Here it is. 174 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,120 Chez Chipmunk, my summer home. 175 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,320 What've we got here? 176 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,880 Gerry, this is Josh. Camp legend. 177 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:26,800 Aye, aye, captain, sir. All present and accounted for, captain, sir. 178 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,400 What's the matter, you're not a captain? 179 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,560 No. 180 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,040 Then maybe you should lose the wings. 181 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,280 Welcome to the Chipmunk Bunk, captain. 182 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,200 The best bunk in the entire camp. 183 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,360 You guys aren't gonna call me captain all summer, are you? 184 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,400 -Yes, sir! -Yes, sir! 185 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,640 Okay, captain, looks like you're all set here. 186 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,440 I gotta go take care of some other stuff. 187 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,520 -BOY: You're the best, Pat. -All right, take it easy. 188 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,440 All right, Gerry, over here is your brand-new bunk. 189 00:12:55,640 --> 00:13:00,920 Don't tell anybody, but I snuck in some Oreos for emergencies. 190 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:03,840 That was very sneaky of you. 191 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,120 Chipmunks, download now! 192 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,560 New kid, yo! 193 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:27,000 Come on over here. Get these salamis off my back. They really hurt. 194 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,760 -Hey, Phillip, look at this. -That's pretty nice, Nicholas. 195 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,880 But look at this. 196 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,240 Yes! 197 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:55,160 Crikey! I knew it was too hot in that bus. 198 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,920 This is definitely not sanitary. 199 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,200 Everyone! Grab a taste of England, guys! 200 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,160 (BLUE DANUBE PLAYING) 201 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,200 You're gonna love the Bushkins. 202 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:02,520 Every year they surprise us 203 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,080 with something cool they bought for the camp. 204 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,520 Last year they got us the Blob, 205 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,000 and this year I heard they're getting us jet skis. 206 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,360 -Jet skis? -Here they come. 207 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,800 -You're gonna love these people. -Really? 208 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,640 (FEEDBACK) 209 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,920 Greetings, campers. 210 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,680 Hi! Hi! Hiya! 211 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,080 You'll get it. 212 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,880 That's the greatest sound I've heard in a long time. 213 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,800 Harvey and I are saddened and dismayed to announce 214 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,640 that we are no longer the owners of Camp Hope. 215 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,080 -What? -What are you talkin' about? 216 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:52,520 Sometimes in life, things don't work out the way you planned. 217 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:56,800 And in those situations, sometimes, 218 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,280 you file Chapter 9 bankruptcy. 219 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:02,160 Jesus! We've worked our whole life! 220 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:06,640 And what do we have to show? Nothin', nothin', nothin'! 221 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,360 Stop it, Harvey, stop it. 222 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:15,880 Okay, kids. Out with the old and in with the new. 223 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:23,280 Now, your new owner is gonna introduce himself in a minute. 224 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,360 But you know what I would like? 225 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:30,640 Please, could you give us just one more Camp Hope 226 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,000 "Hi! Hi! Hiya!" 227 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,200 Hiya. 228 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,800 God bless all of you. 229 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:47,960 BOY 1: We love you, Harvey! 230 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,880 BOY 2: He's kidding, guys. He's gotta be. 231 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:55,280 One word of advice. Never let anyone sign your checks! 232 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:57,480 Harvey, please. 233 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,280 -What are we gonna do, Roy? -I don't know, man. 234 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:06,880 (SIREN WAILS) 235 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,560 (DRUMMING STARTS) 236 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,680 Now it's time to meet the new owner and operator. 237 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,360 Tony Perkis is a man who believes in you. 238 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,840 His life is dedicated to saying things like, 239 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,240 "Yes!" and "You better believe it!" 240 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:35,520 Entrepreneur, a motivator and our new friend. 241 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:39,120 May I introduce Tony Perkis! 242 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,640 Can you smell it? 243 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,440 There's a life force in here tonight. 244 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,600 Do you feel it? 245 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:59,960 I look around this room and I see potential. 246 00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:05,680 I see the future chairman of a Fortune 500 company. 247 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,240 I see a famous rap artist. 248 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,480 I see the President of the United States of America. 249 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,680 He's from England. 250 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,800 Being an only child, 251 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,120 educated entirely by private tutors my whole life, 252 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,400 I'm looking forward to interacting with children for the first time. 253 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,600 I'm gonna teach you, 254 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,000 and I bet you might teach me a little something also. 255 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,680 Now, those of you from western Pennsylvania 256 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:39,280 probably know my father, Tony Perkis senior, the "lighting fixture" king. 257 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:43,000 All the lights you'll see around this camp have been donated by him. 258 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,720 (FANFARE) 259 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,880 But I'm gonna do old Dad one better. 260 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:53,680 I'm not gonna give you a light. 261 00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:56,360 I'm gonna show you the light! 262 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,720 And to help me do it, let's meet the new staff of Camp Hope. 263 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,960 Team Perkis! 264 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:16,520 All right. Stand proud, boys. Hey, who wants to be on TV? 265 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,400 That's Kenny the cameraman. 266 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,120 Hey, there, Kenny! 267 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,080 If all goes according to plan, we're gonna turn this summer 268 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:26,200 into the number one weight-loss infomercial in the country! 269 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,080 -You're kidding. -Kids... 270 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:32,760 At age 12, I weighed 319 pounds. 271 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:38,920 I had bad skin, low self-esteem and no self-respect. 272 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:45,400 Now I eat success for breakfast 273 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:46,560 with skimmed milk. 274 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:52,520 Pounds are gonna fly and fat is outta here, mister! 275 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,560 -And we are gonna do it together! -(MUSIC STARTS) 276 00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,480 Oh, my God! 277 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:06,680 BOY: I wanna go home! 278 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:13,960 The Bushkins always put me in the Chipmunk Bunk. 279 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,680 I've been in here for, like, 10 years. 280 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,800 According to my information, you have been reassigned to the Big House. 281 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:21,120 I don't think Tony would mind if we switched back. 282 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,840 That would make me feel very uncomfortable. 283 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,160 Well, I'm gonna talk to Tony. 284 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,160 Please do. Let me get your bag. 285 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,160 Goodbye, now. Enjoy your summer. 286 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:53,320 Hello! I'm your new friend and counselor. 287 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,080 Please enjoy your new PerkiSystem uniforms. 288 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,600 Your families will be billed automatically. 289 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,240 Now, let's play the fun game that helps us learn each other's names. 290 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,360 -We already know each other's names. -Silence! 291 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,800 You! Please announce everyone's name. 292 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,960 Okay. That's Roy. That's Josh. 293 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:23,200 Sam. That's Cody. That's Nicholas. That's Michael. That's Phil. 294 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,400 And I am Lars. 295 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,360 Lars? What kind of name is that? 296 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:30,880 Where are you from? 297 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:36,760 Far away. 298 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:43,280 Now, I must inform you I have a severely deviated septum. 299 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:47,480 When I sleep at night, I make a very disturbing sound. 300 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,840 Don't be alarmed. I am fine. 301 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,800 Now, go to sleep. 302 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,920 (LARS SNORES) 303 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,480 (LARS WHEEZES) 304 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,200 (ANGELIC NEW-AGE MUSIC PLAYING) 305 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,560 Oh, no. I'm dead! 306 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,240 I'm in heaven. 307 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:20,640 Roy? Roy. 308 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:23,080 What's goin' on? 309 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,720 TONY: Wake up, campers. It's a glorious morning. 310 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:31,240 Today is evaluation day. The key word here is "value". 311 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,600 Do you have any? Not yet. 312 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,200 But by the end of the summer, 313 00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,480 this camp's gonna be filled with skinny winners! 314 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,160 Skinny wieners? You hear that, guys? 315 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:41,840 Do you think I'm crazy? 316 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,920 I'm not crazy. I just believe in you. And I believe in you. 317 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:47,760 Call and order now. 318 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,760 All right, let's go get our hands dirty. 319 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:58,160 Glide! Stride! Glide! Stride! 320 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,080 Get your butt off the ground! Concentrate! 321 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:03,960 Find your center. 322 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:11,840 Stride! Glide! 323 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:17,360 Stride! 324 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,720 -I'm feeling skinny, Tony. -TONY: So am I. 325 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,000 If we keep this up, I see no reason 326 00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:29,520 why we can't beat Camp MVP in the Apache Relay. 327 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,360 What's an Apache Relay? 328 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,640 It's a dumb inter-camp event when those stupid jocks at MVP 329 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,640 come over here and kick our butts every year. 330 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,000 Only film the ones that are standing, Kenny. 331 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:46,320 Glide! 332 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,240 141 pounds, Gerry Garner. 333 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,760 Weight-loss goal, 17 pounds. Please step down. 334 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:57,520 Next! 335 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:05,520 Very fat, I see. 160 pounds. Weight-loss goal, 23 pounds. 336 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:09,960 Oh, my! 337 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,520 Congratulations, Mr. Simms. 338 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,720 You're the fattest boy in camp. 339 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,320 All right! Let's hear it for the fat guy! 340 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,200 Get down! 341 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:28,680 Five and a quarter. 342 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:37,960 LARS: Big smile. 343 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,120 Turn around to your side. 344 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,200 Please put your fat finger down! 345 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,000 You've broken my camera! 346 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,200 No, no, no, you listen to me. 347 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:56,760 If I don't get a 50,000 unit presale on this video, my ass is wheatgrass. 348 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:58,560 Just hang on a second. 349 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:03,240 Attention, campers. Tonight's lecture is "Liposuction: Option or Obsession?" 350 00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:07,560 Watch out for Salami Sam! 351 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:13,760 Hey, don't pee in the water! 352 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:16,920 Don't drink the water. He peed in it! 353 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:23,920 Nurse Julie! 354 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:31,040 Excuse me. Nurse Julie. I'm having a problem with my sciatic nerve. 355 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,440 Perhaps later you could give me a deep-tissue massage? 356 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:39,120 I'll pencil you in. Lars, shouldn't you be watching the kids? 357 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,080 Don't worry. I have them on the body system. 358 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,320 -Body system? -Yeah. Have a look. 359 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:51,120 -Buddy! -Buddy! 360 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,680 -Buddy! -Buddy! 361 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,800 -Buddy! -Buddy! 362 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:05,120 Buddy. You're obviously a very powerful man, Lars. 363 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:06,880 Would you excuse me? 364 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,400 Yes, but with much difficulty. 365 00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:19,680 -Buddy! -Buddy! 366 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:24,480 All right. Gerry, here's your bat. Nicholas, you know what to do. 367 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:26,680 Is this kinda like cricket? 368 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,240 It's not kinda like cricket, it is cricket, just with a different name. 369 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:32,680 Tim! The MVPers are almost here. Are the boys ready? 370 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,440 Oh, yeah, Tony! 371 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:36,000 You know, I really need to talk to you about this. 372 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:37,760 I think our kids are gonna get their butts handed to 'em. 373 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,080 Why don't we just hold off? 374 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:44,000 Thank you for telling me how to run my camp, that I bought. 375 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,600 Yeah, well, This isn't gonna help those kids get any better at sports. 376 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,320 We're not teaching them about sports. We're teaching them about life. 377 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,160 Life. 378 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,800 GERRY: Look! COUNSELOR: Come on, let's go! 379 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,680 Let's do it! 380 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,800 -I'm not so good at sports. -Yeah. And I'm Deion Sanders. 381 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:12,400 We're dead, guys. 382 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,600 Come on, I wanna see some hustle out there! 383 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,880 -Hey, Chris. -Hey, Pat. How you doin'? 384 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,040 -So you got a promotion? -Yeah. 385 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,920 Listen, Chris, over the years you guys have whupped us pretty good. 386 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,480 How about taking it easy on my guys? You know what I mean. 387 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,640 No, I don't know what you mean. 388 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:33,440 MVP campers are trained to compete at the highest level at all times. 389 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,920 We wouldn't wanna confuse 'em. Looking good, Pat. 390 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,880 All right, let's work it around! Come on, men! 391 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:41,960 Now, let's just hit the field and let the fates decide. 392 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:43,400 There we go, good plan. All right! 393 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,320 There you go. Eye of the tiger. Did you eat your Wheaties today, Phillip? 394 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:47,640 Thank God you ate your Wheaties. 395 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:51,200 All right, Simms. Way to hustle! Like a rocket. There you go. 396 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:57,280 LARS: Pat Finley, please report to the men's toilets immediately. 397 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,400 Bring a mop and a plunger, now! 398 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,120 Tim, take me out, please. 399 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:33,520 UMPIRE: Out! 400 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:38,600 CHRIS: Beautiful! 401 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:43,360 -Can I go to the nurse? -Yeah, okay, Phillip. 402 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,800 Just wait till someone comes back, okay? 403 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,320 (GROANING) 404 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:55,920 Cody, what on earth is going on out there? 405 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,840 We're perkisizing. 406 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:04,640 Strike! 407 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,320 Strike! 408 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:12,600 Strike three! 409 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:15,000 Strike! 410 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,160 Nice swing, you fat tubbo. 411 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:19,360 Is that all you've got? 412 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:23,840 UMPIRE: That's foul. 413 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:32,840 UMPIRE: All right, next batter. Let's go, son. 414 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:39,520 Sorry! 415 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,680 You can do it. Keep your eyes on the bat. 416 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:47,040 Put it in the pocket. Swing harder. I have no idea what I'm saying. 417 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,040 You okay? 418 00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:56,680 Well, there goes your perfect game. Come on! 419 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,200 -Calm down. -Take your base, you big baby. 420 00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,440 You're holding up the game. 421 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:05,920 That's right, suck it up, Gerry. 422 00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,360 The poor baby's gonna cry. 423 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:10,280 Don't blubber, chubber! 424 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,080 Mess with us. 425 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:20,920 No, man! That's my bed! 426 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:25,240 I don't enjoy this part of the job. 427 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:29,240 But it's vital to the success of the PerkiSystem 428 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:36,120 that we remove all temptation 429 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:38,240 from your lives. 430 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,760 Here. Dispose of that, Lars. 431 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:46,840 What? I'm still your friend. 432 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,040 Come on, give me a hug. 433 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:55,880 Come on. 434 00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:03,600 Tony believes in you. 435 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:11,080 Looks like my man's packin'! 436 00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:20,960 Drop back, son. 437 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:23,800 Tony! 438 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:28,480 Sir. I was a Chipmunk last year. Look. 439 00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,600 Well, well, well! What have we here? 440 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,640 Who would like to own up to this treasure trove? 441 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:43,560 Whose wonderful candies are these? Look. A deli meat. 442 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:49,520 You, come here. Yes, you. Come here. 443 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:51,840 Don't be frightened. Just come here. 444 00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:54,480 -ID cards. -Yes, Tony. 445 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:55,880 Let's see. 446 00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:03,560 "Garner, Gerald. 141 pounds. Age, 11." 447 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,360 Now, I'm sure you didn't have anything to do with this, did you? 448 00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:10,880 Well... 449 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:14,040 But I bet you might be able to tell me who did. 450 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:20,960 Anyone who brings candy into this camp is not your friend. 451 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:22,200 He is a destroyer. 452 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,440 Do you understand that, Gerald Garner? 453 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:34,280 Do you? I'm sure your father, 454 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:37,880 Maury Garner, wouldn't wanna hear that his son is a destroyer. 455 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,920 Would he? I don't think so. 456 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:45,800 Enough. All right. I'll tell you whose candy it is, Uncle Tony. 457 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:51,320 Let the man speak. The candy belongs to Seymour Butts. 458 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,560 Seymour Butts? Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts? 459 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:57,920 Who's Seymour Butts? 460 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,720 Nobody's seen more butts than you, Uncle Tony! 461 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:09,560 (WHISPERS) You picked the wrong man to mess with. 462 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:14,080 I didn't know I was messing with a man. 463 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,880 We have a comedian. 464 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,880 Hey, I like comedians. 465 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:27,280 Perhaps I can book you on a tour. 466 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,760 ROY: You're the man, Josh! 467 00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:44,520 TONY: Good morning, campers. Joshua Burnbalm is no longer with us. 468 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:46,440 His bed is now available. 469 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,640 Josh is all right, isn't he? 470 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,240 Man, I hope so, wherever he is. 471 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:57,920 Sam, hear about Josh? 472 00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:00,760 Sorry to hear about your little friend Josh. 473 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,320 Gerry, I found out the truth about Josh. 474 00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:05,320 I heard that they kicked him out, 475 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,760 and his parents were so mad they wouldn't let him come home. 476 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,680 They left him at a bus stop all alone at midnight. 477 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:13,560 He's... Well, he's dead. 478 00:34:14,240 --> 00:34:15,280 He pulled a knife on Tony, 479 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,080 and now they've got him locked up in a juvenile delinquent center. 480 00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:21,920 Now he's living in the park in New York with a guy who has no legs. 481 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,960 -No way! -I'm just tellin' you what I heard. 482 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:31,960 GERRY: Dear Grandma, someone once said "War is hell." 483 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,520 They've never been to fat camp. 484 00:34:36,720 --> 00:34:38,560 I knew the food would be bad, 485 00:34:39,240 --> 00:34:40,640 but even worse, 486 00:34:42,240 --> 00:34:44,160 today he killed the Blob. 487 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:50,000 As for the go-karts, may they rest in pieces. 488 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,160 I'm writing you because nobody else seemed to care. 489 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,000 I did not send you to go-kart camp. 490 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:03,720 Attention, campers. Lunch has been canceled today due to lack of hustle. 491 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:05,760 Deal with it. 492 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,440 GERRY: Tony Perkis tries to lead by example. 493 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:11,120 This is the 18th level of the PerkiSystem. 494 00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:13,480 You'll all be doing this by Labor Day. 495 00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:17,080 -All right, do it to it, Lars. -It's my honor, Tony. 496 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:24,280 BOY: Crazy! GERRY: But we're afraid to follow. 497 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:30,160 I know each and every one of you because I was you. 498 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:31,880 GERRY: Once a day, 499 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,640 the kids from Camp MVP drive by and make fun of us. 500 00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:39,200 You stink! You stink! You stink! You stink! You stink! 501 00:35:43,240 --> 00:35:46,720 GERRY: At night, they vandalize our camp. 502 00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,520 At least Josh got out, where there's food. 503 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,920 We have to resort to more desperate measures. 504 00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,400 Let's get her! 505 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,120 I want meat! 506 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,080 Tony's arranged a dance with the girls' camp, 507 00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:19,040 so he can humiliate us into losing weight. 508 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,760 Pray for me, Grandma. Love, Gerry. 509 00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:30,000 (SINGING) S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y night 510 00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:33,640 S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y night 511 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:37,240 S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y night 512 00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:41,120 S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y night 513 00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:43,960 Keep on dancin' to the rock and roll 514 00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:47,440 On Saturday night, Saturday night 515 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,280 Dancin' to the rhythm with our heart and soul 516 00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:54,080 On Saturday night, Saturday night 517 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,040 Let's just get outta here. 518 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,600 We can't, man. They're guardin' the door. 519 00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:02,680 Rock and roll. 520 00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:08,960 Look at this. Sugar-free punch. This bites! 521 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:13,480 How much more of this are they gonna subject us to before we can leave? 522 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:15,080 Why don't those guys just lose weight? 523 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,400 Why don't you show 'em how to throw up after meals like you do? 524 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:18,920 -Shut up! -You shut up. 525 00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,520 You guys, stop it. 526 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,960 Team Jerkis strikes again? 527 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:31,600 Do you think he could have possibly planned for it to be this bad? 528 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:33,080 Yes. 529 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,840 I have some friends in child welfare. 530 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:39,640 Tony must be doing something illegal around here. 531 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:41,960 Maybe I should give 'em a call. 532 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,520 -Great! -This really bites! 533 00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:49,880 Would you like to have some of this punch? 534 00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:51,840 Yeah. Thanks. 535 00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:57,520 Did you catch Lars' outfit? 536 00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:08,520 Yo, check this out. 537 00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:14,560 -Jeez, she's comin' over. -I think she's looking at me. 538 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,760 Do you know where the bathroom is? 539 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,640 That was brutal. 540 00:38:37,720 --> 00:38:39,280 Well, they're young, you know. 541 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:43,080 Still afraid of girls. Poor guys. 542 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,240 So, do you wanna dance? 543 00:38:48,240 --> 00:38:51,760 No. I have a bad sprained... 544 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,400 Excuse me. Tim? 545 00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:56,480 Okay. 546 00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:05,760 This has got to end. 547 00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,520 (LOVE MACHINE PLAYING) 548 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,320 Excuse me, guys. 549 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:19,240 (SINGING) I'm just a love machine And I won't work for nobody but you 550 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,440 I'm just a love machine 551 00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:27,160 Tim's blown a microchip! 552 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:32,080 Tim! Tim! 553 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:35,160 -What are you doing? -Saving the dance. Come on. 554 00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:36,360 We'll start dancing, 555 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:37,680 the girls will see how much fun we're having, 556 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:39,560 and then everyone will join in. 557 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:41,120 That's weird, Tim. 558 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:44,080 Maybe it is, Reverend No Fun, but I am saving the dance. 559 00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,480 Stand back and watch the magic! 560 00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:52,520 I'm just a love machine And I won't work for nobody but you 561 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:59,640 I'm just a love machine A huggin', kissin' fiend 562 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:02,720 Come on, guys, come on! 563 00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:04,560 If they see how much fun we're havin', they'll join in. 564 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,560 -It'll be contagious. -It's called boogie fever. Catch it! 565 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,400 Let's give it a shot. 566 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,720 Maybe we should go out there. It's just dancing. 567 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,480 Okay. I guess I can stand this song. 568 00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:33,640 -Yeah. -Yes! 569 00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:38,520 Excuse me. May I have the pleasure of this dance? 570 00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:40,360 Yes, you may. 571 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:47,040 Take a look into my file 572 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:53,240 I am sure you can find out how To turn me on just set my dial 573 00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:56,400 And let me love you for a little while 574 00:40:57,240 --> 00:41:02,880 I'm just a love machine And I won't work for nobody but you 575 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:09,640 I'm just a love machine A huggin', kissin' fiend 576 00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:22,240 (MUSIC STOPS) 577 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,400 All right, dance is over. 578 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,480 Everybody go home. 579 00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:33,680 Thank you for coming, ladies. Buses are waiting over there. 580 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:37,040 Thank you. Appreciate your efforts. 581 00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,000 I know this hasn't been easy. 582 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,280 Put the fruit trays away. 583 00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:52,520 The insects will be out soon. 584 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:13,480 Hey. How 'bout a ride outta here? 585 00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:20,280 Did this place always stink this much? 586 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:23,840 No, Gerry. 587 00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:27,120 This place used to stink very little. 588 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:29,080 In fact, 589 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:32,560 it didn't stink at all. 590 00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,640 Yeah, well, it does now. 591 00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:41,520 I thought at least I'd be able to ride the go-karts. 592 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:44,560 I've never ridden one. 593 00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:49,240 You really like 'em, huh? 594 00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:52,640 I'm so slow. 595 00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:56,120 It would've been cool to go fast. 596 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,000 Really fly, you know? 597 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,840 Just thought I'd be good at it. 598 00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:09,000 Really? 599 00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:13,000 That's interesting. 600 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:19,080 So, you think you'd be able to handle those hairpin turns? 601 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:20,920 -Yeah. -Oh, yeah? 602 00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:22,560 Think you'd be able to handle that powerful engine? 603 00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:25,120 -Yeah! -Let's see what you got, Garner! 604 00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:35,680 So how did you learn how to drive go-karts? 605 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:39,680 Mowed a lot of lawns, Gerry. Avoid the obstacles. Short turn! 606 00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,680 -Come on, faster! -Faster? Faster. 607 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,560 Yeah, no problem. 608 00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,800 -How are you on your jumps? -These things jump? 609 00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:57,400 Jump? They fly, buddy. They fly. Watch out for that oil slick! 610 00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:10,560 That was fun. Let's do it again. 611 00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:13,280 -Okay. -Yes! 612 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,280 -Soon as I catch my breath. -All right. 613 00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,360 -Maybe next summer. -Come on, Pat. 614 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,600 (SNORING) 615 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:36,240 (DOOR SQUEAKS) 616 00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:41,720 (DOOR BANGS) 617 00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:45,600 (JOSH MUMBLES) 618 00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:49,400 Josh? 619 00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:55,400 Josh? It's Josh. 620 00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:57,440 Josh is back! Josh! 621 00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,360 -Josh, man, good to see you! -I knew you were okay. 622 00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:05,240 Wait a second. Josh? What's wrong? What'd they do to you? 623 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:08,040 Josh. Speak to me. 624 00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:10,960 Were you in jail? The nut house? 625 00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:13,800 Josh, it's me, Gerry! 626 00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:15,600 Gerry! 627 00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,120 Funny, Josh. But, really, what happened, man? Talk to us. 628 00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:27,240 Josh was bad. 629 00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:32,480 Oh, man. Oh, jeez. 630 00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:38,200 Josh now good. 631 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,680 Good? What do you mean? 632 00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:43,880 Must be 633 00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,840 good to see my big ass again! 634 00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:50,000 I liked you better with the lobotomy. 635 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:53,880 -Josh, what really happened? -Perkis sent me home without a refund. 636 00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:55,840 However, my dad's a lawyer. 637 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:57,520 He calls up Perkis, threatens to sue, 638 00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,120 and Perkis caved like the Buffalo Bills in a Super Bowl. 639 00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:02,680 All right! 640 00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:09,880 Hey, Josh. How long you been shavin'? 641 00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:11,600 A couple of years. 642 00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:16,280 What was it like on the outside? 643 00:46:17,240 --> 00:46:19,160 It was incredible. 644 00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:21,920 First I went to the Sizzler. 645 00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:25,040 Got that all-you-can-eat meal. I closed the place. 646 00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:27,440 How're we fixed for supplies on this end? 647 00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:31,440 Perkis wiped us out. There isn't a gummy bear left in this entire camp. 648 00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,960 I am doggin' it this mornin'. 649 00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:44,760 Come on, T. Now let's do it up. 650 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:49,720 Start me up. 651 00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:55,760 Come on. Hurry up, guys. We don't have all day. 652 00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:01,880 Looks pretty sturdy, guys. 653 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:07,320 -Hurry up, man. -I'm tryin'. 654 00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,840 Okay. Roy, you're up first. Give it a shot, man. 655 00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,160 Simms, you're my lookout man. 656 00:47:14,240 --> 00:47:15,720 Give me a boost. 657 00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:32,920 Gerry, you check this room out. 658 00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:35,600 Roy and Nicholas, you guys come with me. Be quiet about it. 659 00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:38,200 The candy's gotta be in here somewhere. 660 00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:39,920 NICHOLAS: I'll find the candy. 661 00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:43,120 Where's the sweets? 662 00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:47,800 -Over here. -What've you got? 663 00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:57,440 Come on, you devil log! 664 00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:05,280 -Hurry up. -All right, all right. 665 00:48:07,720 --> 00:48:09,440 "Perkisize with Tony?" 666 00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:11,800 That's me! 667 00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:14,000 I'm skinny! 668 00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:19,440 Come on, Josh, come on! 669 00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:21,200 -I'm trying. -If you can't get it, we need to leave. 670 00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:32,040 Thanks, captain. 671 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:36,840 I'm doggin' it, Pat. I'm doggin' it. 672 00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:41,160 Letters. 673 00:48:45,240 --> 00:48:47,400 You guys, these are our letters home. 674 00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:50,240 No way. This guy is sick. 675 00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:53,760 This is a letter I wrote my grandma! 676 00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:14,320 -Pack it up, guys. Let's move! -Oh, no! We're dead! 677 00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:26,520 He's coming. He's coming. He's coming! 678 00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:32,640 Roy, the picture. Josh, the drawers. 679 00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:41,440 -Where do the whites go? Help me. -Right here. 680 00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:50,880 Wait a second. Where's Nicholas? 681 00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:57,720 -You guys go. I'll get him. -All right. Let's move it, Roy. 682 00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:00,400 Nicky! Nicholas! 683 00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:08,240 What are you doing? He's coming! 684 00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:13,320 Get down. 685 00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:16,160 Gerry, come on! 686 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:25,280 (FARTS) 687 00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:30,440 -I didn't mean to. -Just go. 688 00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:31,360 -Coast clear? -That was close. 689 00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:32,680 Clear. 690 00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:34,320 We did it. 691 00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:37,800 Hey, man, you really showed some guts out there, cappy. I'm impressed. 692 00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:40,360 And one of those fish and chips farts, Nicky? 693 00:51:40,720 --> 00:51:43,200 -I said my deepest apologies... -Wait. 694 00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:45,440 -Wrapper. -What? 695 00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:49,320 Wrapper. Food wrapper. Come on. 696 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,600 Who's in there? What have you got? 697 00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:57,200 Nothing. No one. Just go away. 698 00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:04,560 -GERRY: Where'd you get that? -I found it. 699 00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:06,960 You "found it." Come here, you little putz! 700 00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:11,280 -Tell us! -All right. Okay. I'll tell you. 701 00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:13,280 Gotta keep it a secret, okay? 702 00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:20,400 (SINGING) I know a guy who's tough but sweet 703 00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:25,200 He's so fine he can't be beat 704 00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:30,440 He's got everything that I desire 705 00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:34,120 Sets the summer sun on fire 706 00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:37,840 I want candy 707 00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:44,440 Go to see him when the sun goes down 708 00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:48,880 Ain't no finer boy in town 709 00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,360 I want candy 710 00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:57,680 I want candy 711 00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:05,120 LARS: Okay, everyone. Here we go. 712 00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:07,920 I'm not rolling yet. 713 00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:14,320 -Are you rolling now, Kenneth? -Speed. 714 00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:17,080 -Does that mean rolling? -Yes, it does. 715 00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:20,280 LARS: Okay, everyone, clap your hands. 716 00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:28,440 Well, we've reached the midpoint of our great experiment. 717 00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:30,840 Parents' day is just around the corner, 718 00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:33,280 and I think they're gonna be very, very pleased. 719 00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:36,160 Remember to wear your name tags. I don't think they'll recognize you. 720 00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:40,640 Okay, now it's time to see what the PerkiSystem means 721 00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:42,640 in pure loss of poundage. 722 00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:45,120 This is the moment we've all been waiting for. 723 00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:49,280 -Phillip Rubinoff. Step up, son. -Yeah! 724 00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:53,560 All right, let's see how you're doin', you little whippersnapper. 725 00:53:57,200 --> 00:54:00,680 Okay. You're two pounds heavier than when you came to camp. 726 00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:01,920 But we can fix that. 727 00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:04,000 All we have to do is decrease his food intake 728 00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:06,000 and increase his metabolic output. 729 00:54:06,240 --> 00:54:10,480 All right, step off the scale, son. Muscle weighs more than fat. 730 00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:13,120 All right! Okay. 731 00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:16,840 Gerald Garner. Step on up, Gerald. 732 00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,560 -Good luck. -Go get 'em, captain. 733 00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:25,760 Hello, Gerald. Moment of truth. 734 00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:42,160 You've gained nine pounds. Have you been cheating? 735 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:47,240 Turn off the camera. Let me make something very clear. 736 00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:52,720 The PerkiSystem does not work with cheaters like Gerald Garner. Okay? 737 00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:57,000 How can I sell an infomercial about fat kids 738 00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,160 who can't keep their piggy little snouts shut? 739 00:55:00,720 --> 00:55:02,840 Who's gonna buy that? Step off the scale. 740 00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:08,960 Okay, turn on the camera. 741 00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:12,240 -Josh Burnbalm, step on up. -All righty. 742 00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:14,520 Get on the scale, son. All right. 743 00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:17,640 Get off the scale. 744 00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:20,080 Turn off the camera. All right. 745 00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:23,400 All right, fine, fine. I blame myself. 746 00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:29,120 You know what? I don't blame myself. No, not this time, Tony. 747 00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:30,800 Excuse me one second. 748 00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:37,720 (PANTING) "How ya doin', little Tony?" 749 00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:41,000 "Bad." "Why do you feel bad?" 750 00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:44,720 "Because everything's falling apart and I can't do anything about it." 751 00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:47,880 "It's not your fault." "I know it's not my fault." 752 00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:50,280 "Whose fault is it if it's not my fault?" 753 00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:52,440 "It's their fault." "That's right, it's their fault." 754 00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:53,920 It's their fault, it's their fault! 755 00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:56,880 You have failed and you will pay! 756 00:55:57,240 --> 00:56:00,680 Tomorrow morning at 0600, everyone who has not met their weight-loss goal 757 00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:02,280 will join me on a 20-mile hike. 758 00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:05,440 -What? -Pack light, boys. The party's over. 759 00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:08,080 20 miles? Tony... 760 00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:13,400 Tony, sir, with all due respect, I don't think it's healthy to subject... 761 00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:15,920 Healthy? Healthy! 762 00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:19,160 The fat man is gonna tell me what's healthy! 763 00:56:19,240 --> 00:56:22,040 -Look, I'm just saying that... -You... You just... 764 00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:25,200 -I think to subject the kids... -It's funny. 765 00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:26,960 Nobody really cares what you have to say. 766 00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:31,280 You're a negativity spreader. 767 00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:35,600 You're contaminating my well, Finley, and I won't have it. 768 00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:40,960 Let's make the best of this afternoon. 769 00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:49,280 TIM: Forget it, Pat. 770 00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:09,360 Hey. 771 00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:15,320 They're having a barbecue over at Camp MVP tonight. 772 00:57:16,280 --> 00:57:19,360 Carolina ribs. The pork, not the beef. 773 00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:24,960 I wonder what it'd feel like to be one of those guys. 774 00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:28,520 Just once I wanna score a winning touchdown. 775 00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,520 Do you know, in my entire life I've never scored a point in anything? 776 00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:37,240 Gerry... 777 00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:42,080 I'm just so tired of being the fat guy. 778 00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:48,040 I know, Pat. But you don't wanna be one of those guys. 779 00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:50,720 They're jerks. 780 00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:56,520 -Forget 'em! -Yeah, forget 'em. 781 00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:59,760 Yeah. Forget you! 782 00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:03,680 You can keep your washboard stomachs and your oily muscles! 783 00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:05,240 I don't want 'em! 784 00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:11,240 I'm still tired of being the fat guy. 785 00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:13,960 Come on, Pat, you're cool. Everybody knows that. 786 00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:15,920 You know, I feel cool. 787 00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:20,240 Being humiliated by that psycho today was pretty cool. 788 00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:24,000 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've been a lot of help to you guys. 789 00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:28,520 Hey, at least you stood up to him. 790 00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:34,920 Nobody else had the guts to. 791 00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:37,800 We should've backed you up. 792 00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:43,240 Pat, when are we gonna start stickin' up for ourselves? 793 00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:50,800 Now, Gerry. How 'bout right now? 794 00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:54,600 Yeah. Let's go get everybody and kick his ass! 795 00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:57,400 Yeah! Hold it! Whoa, whoa! Gerry, hold it. 796 00:58:57,560 --> 00:58:59,080 We gotta be smart here. 797 00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:00,880 There are some proper channels you have to go through. 798 00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:03,320 You gotta get those guys through the hike tomorrow, right? 799 00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:07,040 I'll do everything I can back here. You be the leader now, captain! 800 00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:09,240 He is one, we are many! 801 00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:11,160 His days are numbered. 802 00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:13,280 -He's not so tough! -Yeah! 803 00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:20,600 This is the day when we separate the men from the boys. 804 00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:24,960 High-tail it back to camp, Lars. It's gonna be a rough one. 805 00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:28,240 Now I don't wanna see any slackers or hear any whiners. 806 00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:31,680 There'll be no food. This is a cleansing hike. 807 00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:37,520 Just Father Sky, Mother Earth and your dear old Uncle Tony. 808 00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:45,040 (MOSQUITOES BUZZING) 809 00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:49,560 Use the swatting motion. It's an isometric exercise. 810 00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:53,440 These dogs are killin' me! 811 00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:58,440 -Josh, somebody gonna die today. -Call 911. 812 00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:01,440 Did you ever hear the story of Icarus 813 01:00:01,520 --> 01:00:04,280 who continually rolled the ball up the hill? 814 01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:08,280 But when he got too close, the ball melted in the heat of the sun. 815 01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:11,760 You're all like Icarus. 816 01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:28,960 Thank you, Gerry. 817 01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:46,840 Cody! Get up, Cody, get up! 818 01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:49,720 Leave him. He's a straggler. 819 01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:54,280 Stragglers must be left to fend for themselves. I was. 820 01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:58,360 Get up. We need to go. Get up. 821 01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:01,200 Did you talk to the people at child welfare? 822 01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:03,880 Yeah, they said they'd be glad to come out and investigate, 823 01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:06,000 but they can't come for two weeks. 824 01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:09,240 That's too long. Tim, what did your lawyer buddy say? 825 01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:11,680 He thinks it's dicey. We don't have any hard evidence. 826 01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:14,200 Evidence? Tony's the hard evidence. Just take one look at him. 827 01:01:14,280 --> 01:01:17,800 -It's what the lawyer said. -So basically we have nothing. 828 01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:19,440 Basically. 829 01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:22,560 Hey, you guys seen Tony? 830 01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:27,360 That moron owes me 600 bucks. I'm gonna kill that guy. 831 01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:41,400 Feel the chi. 832 01:01:50,240 --> 01:01:52,040 Repulse the monkey. 833 01:01:57,720 --> 01:02:00,320 TONY: Part the wild horse's mane. 834 01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:04,000 Hey. I say we push him. 835 01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:06,800 There's no jury in the world that could convict us. 836 01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:13,200 No. Too messy. We can do better. 837 01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:25,000 Great! Well, you've all done much better than expected, 838 01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:27,240 so I've got a little surprise for you. 839 01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:29,440 I've decided to extend the hike indefinitely. 840 01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:33,600 That's right. You won't return to camp until you're in the leanest, meanest, 841 01:02:33,960 --> 01:02:36,240 bestest shape of your short lives. 842 01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:41,040 With one goal in mind, to defeat Camp MVP in the Apache Relay. 843 01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:44,720 Quite the ending to a late-night infomercial. 844 01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:47,720 We don't wanna play MVP. We wanna have fun. 845 01:02:50,080 --> 01:02:54,800 Cody wants to have fun! All right, Cody, let's have some fun. 846 01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:01,880 Oh, my... 847 01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:06,280 I'm on the top of the world! Yeah! 848 01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:09,480 How's this for fun, Cody? 849 01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:13,000 Sam, why don't you come out and join me? 850 01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:14,720 Oh, yeah. I'm on my way. 851 01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:18,600 He's gonna get us killed! We gotta do somethin' about this. 852 01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:21,120 -Yeah, man, but what? -What's that? I missed it. 853 01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:26,240 I was just saying we need a little rest. 854 01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:27,720 Yeah. 855 01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:30,480 Good idea. Let's take an hour meditation break. 856 01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:33,600 Then we're gonna climb that 1,000-foot rock face over there 857 01:03:33,680 --> 01:03:35,520 with our bare hands and feet. 858 01:03:35,880 --> 01:03:40,000 I know you can do it. Until then, observe the silence of the chi. 859 01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:48,640 (BOYS ARGUING) 860 01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:50,720 (CHANTING) 861 01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:54,160 (ARGUING CONTINUES) 862 01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:05,520 Cripes. Hey, what is all the commotion? 863 01:04:06,560 --> 01:04:10,320 Well, we realize we've been lazy, and we wanna change. 864 01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:13,400 It's time we all got our acts together, buddy. 865 01:04:13,480 --> 01:04:15,560 Good! Good! 866 01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:19,560 Amazing what food deprivation can do to adjust your attitude. 867 01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:23,320 -Can I ask you a question? -Go ahead, Roy, ask away. 868 01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:26,240 Is it possible to do a sit-up if you can't see or hear? 869 01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:29,080 Yes, Roy, it is possible. 870 01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:31,200 Well, Gerry says it's impossible. 871 01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:35,080 Well, why don't we rock Gerry's world? 872 01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:36,760 Come on. 873 01:04:37,720 --> 01:04:40,160 Uncle Tony's gonna do a little demo. 874 01:04:42,040 --> 01:04:44,840 There are so many myths about the abdominal muscles. 875 01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:49,280 -I'm happy to put this one to rest. -See, Gerry? I told you. 876 01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:53,760 Don't get up till the count of three. 877 01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:56,440 -Yes, yes, I know the rules. -Okay, good. 878 01:04:57,120 --> 01:05:01,760 All right, everyone, ready? One, two, three! 879 01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:04,520 -Kiss my butt! -Oh, my! 880 01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:07,240 Oh, my! 881 01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:13,040 -Pretty impressive stuff, huh, Tony? -You disgust me! 882 01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:16,560 Come here! Come here! Get outta my way! 883 01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:19,600 What are we waitin' for? Run! 884 01:05:21,760 --> 01:05:22,920 Halt! 885 01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:25,560 Halt! 886 01:05:30,640 --> 01:05:31,720 My hamstring. 887 01:05:32,720 --> 01:05:34,160 Congratulations. 888 01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:37,040 You just joined the 76% of Americans who forget to stretch 889 01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:39,120 before physical activity. 890 01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:57,840 Gentlemen, we've reached the point of no return. 891 01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:08,080 The problem is Kenny wants a lot of money. 892 01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:11,200 -How much? -More than they pay counselors. 893 01:06:11,280 --> 01:06:14,440 -Why don't we have a bake sale? -Gerry, what're you doin' back? 894 01:06:14,520 --> 01:06:16,840 -We've been so worried about you. -You okay? 895 01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:19,160 -I'm fine, I'm fine. -JULIE: Good. 896 01:06:19,240 --> 01:06:22,080 We're still working on a plan to get rid of Tony. 897 01:06:22,160 --> 01:06:24,320 -Wait till you hear what we got. -That's great, guys. 898 01:06:24,400 --> 01:06:27,000 But we came up with a plan of our own. 899 01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:30,360 -That is so cute! -Yeah, whatever. 900 01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:33,240 Come with me. 901 01:06:39,280 --> 01:06:41,200 I have got a bad feeling. 902 01:06:41,760 --> 01:06:43,960 Just try to stay open-minded. 903 01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:50,120 -Password, please? -Yankee doodles. 904 01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:57,520 Good God! 905 01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:03,920 -This is unbelievable! -So what was your plan? 906 01:07:04,040 --> 01:07:07,280 -What do you think you're doing? -Taking over the camp. 907 01:07:07,480 --> 01:07:10,160 TIM: Good God! PAT: This is insane! 908 01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:13,680 -This is great! -Pat, you know what? He snapped. 909 01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:18,000 He was swinging from a branch. He was gonna make us climb a mountain. 910 01:07:18,080 --> 01:07:21,960 You can't kidnap him. They give people the chair for this. 911 01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:25,440 -It was self-defense. -I believe you. 912 01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:30,200 This is gonna end right now. Out of my way, Simms. 913 01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:32,760 Yankee doodles. 914 01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:36,440 Tony, I'm so sorry. 915 01:07:36,520 --> 01:07:38,840 Look, I'll untie you right away. 916 01:07:39,440 --> 01:07:40,680 Thank you. 917 01:07:40,760 --> 01:07:45,400 When this is over, I'm gonna deliver one well-placed kick to your groin 918 01:07:45,480 --> 01:07:48,440 that will stop you from ever having children, you worthless piece of... 919 01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:50,960 Are these ropes tight enough? We can get more. 920 01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:55,840 You know, I was gonna help you out, but now... 921 01:07:56,320 --> 01:07:59,000 I'm gonna have to take you down. 922 01:08:01,200 --> 01:08:03,680 I always wanted to say that to somebody. 923 01:08:03,800 --> 01:08:06,920 Looks like we're gonna have to play this thing out. 924 01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:09,800 There might be a way out, but if we're gonna succeed, 925 01:08:09,880 --> 01:08:13,480 we're all gonna have to stick together, work as a team. 926 01:08:16,320 --> 01:08:18,040 I'll see you all in hell! 927 01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,600 With all the bears in these woods, Lars, 928 01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:25,720 I doubt that you'll be seein' much of anything. 929 01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:29,640 -Bears love honey! -Honey? 930 01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:34,520 Chipmunks, move out! Lars, have a nice summer. 931 01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:37,640 I didn't mean it. 932 01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:40,480 I'm sorry. 933 01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:46,160 I hate you. You're awful! 934 01:08:47,440 --> 01:08:50,680 Please help me! I have candy. 935 01:08:51,560 --> 01:08:52,800 Candy. 936 01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:55,680 Good boy. You've come to free me. 937 01:09:01,080 --> 01:09:05,600 -Think we're goin' a little too far? -There are no bears in these woods. 938 01:09:06,320 --> 01:09:08,840 (SCREAMING) 939 01:09:09,840 --> 01:09:11,360 No bears, huh? 940 01:09:18,960 --> 01:09:23,440 Help me! Don't you have any decency? Help me! 941 01:09:28,480 --> 01:09:33,160 -It's a little deer. -Mr. Deer, I'm a vegetarian. 942 01:10:05,600 --> 01:10:07,760 (NEW-AGE MUSIC PLAYING) 943 01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:11,280 GERRY: Wake up, Tony. Tonight is evaluation night. 944 01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:13,440 The key word here is "value". 945 01:10:13,560 --> 01:10:15,200 Do you have any? 946 01:10:15,280 --> 01:10:17,360 No way, because you're a loser! 947 01:10:17,440 --> 01:10:19,600 A loser with a skinny wiener. 948 01:10:19,760 --> 01:10:22,520 So relax and repeat after me. 949 01:10:23,120 --> 01:10:28,480 I am a loser. I smell. I have no friends. 950 01:10:29,440 --> 01:10:33,440 -Now breathe and relax. -Please shut that off! 951 01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:40,200 Whoa! 952 01:10:40,880 --> 01:10:42,120 Wow! 953 01:11:08,280 --> 01:11:09,960 Party! 954 01:11:10,680 --> 01:11:13,800 Oh, my gosh! Is that Tim? 955 01:11:17,840 --> 01:11:20,280 He looks like a human s'more. 956 01:11:21,160 --> 01:11:22,640 Look at that food. 957 01:11:22,960 --> 01:11:24,640 I should get down there. 958 01:11:24,720 --> 01:11:26,760 No, Pat, don't go. 959 01:11:29,800 --> 01:11:31,440 Stay here with me. 960 01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:35,760 Shut up. 961 01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:39,520 Hey, Lars, guess what? We're in charge now. 962 01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:40,760 You know what we found out? 963 01:11:40,840 --> 01:11:44,760 If you don't have a job, you get deported. 964 01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:49,000 So, Lars, buddy, pal, you with us or are you against us? 965 01:11:50,360 --> 01:11:51,840 I am with you. 966 01:11:53,720 --> 01:11:55,120 I love you. 967 01:12:00,520 --> 01:12:03,640 -I thought they were on diets. -They're cheatin'. 968 01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:38,360 Good God, can anybody hear me? 969 01:12:57,120 --> 01:12:58,480 (COUGHING) 970 01:12:58,760 --> 01:13:00,080 (GROANING) 971 01:13:00,160 --> 01:13:01,440 (BURPING) 972 01:13:29,040 --> 01:13:31,080 Time to wake up, children. 973 01:13:31,520 --> 01:13:32,640 Good morning! 974 01:13:38,760 --> 01:13:41,040 What lesson did we learn here? 975 01:13:41,120 --> 01:13:43,840 Don't put Twinkies on your pizza. 976 01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:50,040 No. I think what we learned here is something about personal responsibility. 977 01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:54,560 From now on, each of us is gonna be in charge of their own diets. 978 01:13:54,640 --> 01:13:57,240 We all have to learn some self-control. 979 01:13:57,360 --> 01:14:00,000 Isn't that right? Tim? 980 01:14:01,320 --> 01:14:04,400 You got it. I'm ashamed of all of you. 981 01:14:04,720 --> 01:14:06,000 Come on! 982 01:14:06,080 --> 01:14:08,280 We gotta get healthy for ourselves. 983 01:14:08,360 --> 01:14:11,840 If we start respectin' ourselves, no one can touch us. 984 01:14:12,720 --> 01:14:16,560 That's right. You heard me right. We're as good as anybody. 985 01:14:16,640 --> 01:14:18,760 It's time we started actin' that way. 986 01:14:18,840 --> 01:14:22,000 Take control of ourselves before we take control of the camp. 987 01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:23,880 So, who's with me? 988 01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:25,720 Who wants to do this thing right? 989 01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:28,680 PAT: It's up to you. 990 01:14:54,880 --> 01:14:57,600 -Okay, everybody ready? -Yeah! 991 01:14:57,720 --> 01:14:59,120 Let's go! 992 01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:08,720 Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable? 993 01:15:09,080 --> 01:15:10,800 -Fruit. -That's right. 994 01:15:10,880 --> 01:15:15,040 So today we're going to make our own pasta primavera. 995 01:15:47,920 --> 01:15:50,120 There he is. There he is! 996 01:15:53,280 --> 01:15:56,800 Hey, big guy, look at you. Look at you! 997 01:15:57,440 --> 01:15:59,760 -You look the same. -Well, I feel good. 998 01:15:59,840 --> 01:16:01,920 Well, that's important too. 999 01:16:03,760 --> 01:16:05,920 -So? -Come with me. 1000 01:16:06,200 --> 01:16:09,200 -I'll take you around. -He hasn't lost a pound. 1001 01:16:09,280 --> 01:16:10,280 Oh, Maury. 1002 01:16:16,800 --> 01:16:19,080 Don't be frightened, Nicholas. 1003 01:16:19,920 --> 01:16:21,520 I'm a beaten man. 1004 01:16:43,200 --> 01:16:45,040 Good afternoon, everyone. 1005 01:16:45,120 --> 01:16:48,000 Good afternoon. I'm Pat Finley. 1006 01:16:48,080 --> 01:16:51,480 You probably recognize me from my work in the Camp Hope video. 1007 01:16:52,560 --> 01:16:55,520 Well, right now I'd like to play another video 1008 01:16:55,600 --> 01:16:59,680 to show you people just what it's been like so far this summer. 1009 01:17:02,880 --> 01:17:04,280 PAT: Enjoy. 1010 01:17:17,680 --> 01:17:19,280 As a health care professional, 1011 01:17:19,360 --> 01:17:23,440 I would like to warn you that Tony Perkis' program 1012 01:17:23,520 --> 01:17:27,600 is not only ineffective, it's also downright dangerous. 1013 01:17:30,160 --> 01:17:32,440 (SINGING) Everywhere I go I'm late 1014 01:17:32,520 --> 01:17:34,600 Everywhere I go I'm late 1015 01:17:35,040 --> 01:17:38,440 My grandma runs faster than you, and she's only got one leg! 1016 01:17:38,520 --> 01:17:41,160 -Say it again. It'll multiply. -Forty push-ups? 1017 01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:44,240 -No, 60! Down now! 80! -I can't... 1018 01:17:44,440 --> 01:17:46,480 -He is strict. -TONY: 100! 1019 01:17:59,400 --> 01:18:01,480 Kiss the ground, joker boy. 1020 01:18:02,440 --> 01:18:04,520 -Get your foot off my back, please. -Shut up. 1021 01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:06,720 You see what we've been dealing with. 1022 01:18:06,840 --> 01:18:09,640 Why didn't you tell us about this? 1023 01:18:14,560 --> 01:18:15,840 (SNORING) 1024 01:18:24,360 --> 01:18:28,240 You've been a good guard, Nicholas. Strong and fair. 1025 01:18:29,680 --> 01:18:31,760 Your queen would be proud. 1026 01:18:32,720 --> 01:18:36,960 I'd like to reward you with this chocolate kiss. 1027 01:18:47,720 --> 01:18:50,080 Where have you been all my life? 1028 01:18:50,640 --> 01:18:52,280 I'm gonna love this! 1029 01:18:52,360 --> 01:18:54,280 Oh, my God. I think I'm gonna be sick. 1030 01:18:54,880 --> 01:18:57,960 -Nice touch. -I thought I'd spice it up a little. 1031 01:18:58,360 --> 01:19:00,880 Gives you that warm feeling inside. 1032 01:19:01,200 --> 01:19:04,280 -Throw it over. -But it would smush. 1033 01:19:05,440 --> 01:19:07,240 That wouldn't be good. 1034 01:19:09,360 --> 01:19:12,160 No dinner, no lunch, no breakfast. 1035 01:19:12,600 --> 01:19:14,480 How does that grab you? 1036 01:19:15,280 --> 01:19:16,880 Take the candy. 1037 01:19:19,760 --> 01:19:23,840 Nice, chocolaty, chocolicious. 1038 01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:29,840 Butterfingers. 1039 01:19:35,320 --> 01:19:36,880 Well, well, well. 1040 01:19:37,000 --> 01:19:39,840 Looks like London Bridge is falling down, huh? 1041 01:19:39,960 --> 01:19:40,960 Help! 1042 01:19:41,040 --> 01:19:43,520 -How do you like the food here? -It's great. 1043 01:19:43,840 --> 01:19:46,920 Wait till I finish the question. Say "I love the food." 1044 01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:49,080 -I love the food. -Okay, good, here we go. 1045 01:19:49,200 --> 01:19:51,600 -How do you like the food? -I love the food! 1046 01:19:51,680 --> 01:19:55,120 Wait till I finish the question! Forget it! 1047 01:19:55,880 --> 01:19:59,360 If he isn't stopped right away, somebody's child, 1048 01:19:59,840 --> 01:20:03,280 maybe yours, will be hurt. 1049 01:20:04,920 --> 01:20:06,160 TONY: Oh, yes! 1050 01:20:08,440 --> 01:20:10,480 That was wonderful! 1051 01:20:10,560 --> 01:20:11,680 Whoo! 1052 01:20:12,920 --> 01:20:14,880 So entertaining! 1053 01:20:15,520 --> 01:20:19,280 The cinematography, the editing techniques. 1054 01:20:19,600 --> 01:20:24,640 Though I must say, the villain was a bit over the top. 1055 01:20:29,720 --> 01:20:30,840 Ouch. 1056 01:20:31,120 --> 01:20:33,160 Everyone having fun? 1057 01:20:34,240 --> 01:20:37,240 Parents, you're the cause of all my... 1058 01:20:37,560 --> 01:20:39,000 Their problems! 1059 01:20:39,080 --> 01:20:40,640 He escaped! 1060 01:20:40,720 --> 01:20:44,640 British butterball! I oughta show you what it means to be an American. 1061 01:20:44,720 --> 01:20:46,560 Now you realize what we've been dealing with. 1062 01:20:46,640 --> 01:20:48,040 He has to be stopped! 1063 01:20:48,720 --> 01:20:49,960 Stop me? 1064 01:20:52,000 --> 01:20:53,240 May I? 1065 01:20:56,360 --> 01:20:57,920 I'm too strong! 1066 01:21:00,400 --> 01:21:02,320 I'm too motivated! 1067 01:21:04,600 --> 01:21:05,960 And you're too weak! 1068 01:21:10,760 --> 01:21:12,560 Especially you, Garner, Gerald. 1069 01:21:13,440 --> 01:21:16,040 Age 11, 141 pounds. 1070 01:21:16,160 --> 01:21:18,080 You want a piece of me, Pops? 1071 01:21:18,160 --> 01:21:20,280 'Cause no one's taking this camp away from me! 1072 01:21:24,040 --> 01:21:27,840 I'm afraid you're wrong. You are through here. 1073 01:21:27,920 --> 01:21:30,240 -Are you okay? -I'm all right. 1074 01:21:30,640 --> 01:21:32,160 You see, you have to take a stand. 1075 01:21:51,960 --> 01:21:54,560 -JOSH: We did it, Roy. -Yes, we did. 1076 01:21:57,520 --> 01:21:59,880 Sorry you have to deal with this, Mr. Perkis. 1077 01:21:59,960 --> 01:22:03,520 That kid was always a little off. My parents didn't hug me. 1078 01:22:03,600 --> 01:22:05,800 I don't freak out like a little baby. 1079 01:22:08,360 --> 01:22:09,600 I'm gonna take a bath on this. 1080 01:22:09,840 --> 01:22:13,480 Everybody, don't freak out. Don't call your lawyers. 1081 01:22:13,640 --> 01:22:16,720 We'll get you your money back. We make nice, everybody's happy. 1082 01:22:16,800 --> 01:22:19,760 For now, we close down the camp. Everybody go home. 1083 01:22:19,840 --> 01:22:21,560 Have a nice summer. I gotta get outta here. 1084 01:22:21,640 --> 01:22:25,000 I got a thing. So good luck to all of you. 1085 01:22:25,760 --> 01:22:28,160 -Mr. Perkis, sir? -Papa. 1086 01:22:29,160 --> 01:22:32,320 Papa, we don't wanna go home. We wanna stay here. 1087 01:22:32,480 --> 01:22:35,320 You kids wanna stay here, stick it out, 1088 01:22:35,400 --> 01:22:39,680 I need to put an adult in charge on the clause for the insurance. 1089 01:22:39,840 --> 01:22:41,640 So if anybody wants to do it... 1090 01:22:41,720 --> 01:22:43,920 Who's been here the longest? 1091 01:22:45,760 --> 01:22:47,960 -Four years. -One year. 1092 01:22:48,040 --> 01:22:49,080 -Two. -Four. 1093 01:22:49,160 --> 01:22:50,640 -Three. -Five. 1094 01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:52,560 Eighteen years. 1095 01:22:53,320 --> 01:22:56,760 Eighteen? Eighteen years. 1096 01:22:57,040 --> 01:22:59,400 What the hell have you been doin' with yourself? 1097 01:22:59,920 --> 01:23:01,160 Are you up to it? 1098 01:23:04,520 --> 01:23:09,760 -Pat. Pat. -ALL: (CHANTING) Pat! Pat! Pat! 1099 01:23:16,760 --> 01:23:18,720 -I could sure try. -All right. 1100 01:23:18,800 --> 01:23:21,120 Yeah, okay. Congratulations. 1101 01:23:21,200 --> 01:23:22,480 Here you go. Do the hokey-pokey. 1102 01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:24,680 Knock yourself out. I'm toast. 1103 01:23:29,400 --> 01:23:32,560 -All right, Pat! -Enjoy yourself. You deserve it. 1104 01:23:33,680 --> 01:23:34,720 I'm proud of you. 1105 01:23:40,880 --> 01:23:42,360 GERRY: Dear Grandma. 1106 01:23:42,440 --> 01:23:44,600 Things have really turned around at camp. 1107 01:23:44,680 --> 01:23:46,880 We're finally having a great time. 1108 01:23:57,240 --> 01:23:59,600 We're in control, and we like it. 1109 01:23:59,960 --> 01:24:02,720 We're putting things back to the way they were. 1110 01:24:02,800 --> 01:24:05,440 And no one is gonna mess it up again. 1111 01:24:08,920 --> 01:24:10,240 Hey, Chris? 1112 01:24:11,400 --> 01:24:13,280 Where's the motor, man? 1113 01:24:14,120 --> 01:24:17,560 With Pat in charge, we are united and we are strong. 1114 01:24:17,640 --> 01:24:20,200 Got that wrench, Phillip? Thank you. 1115 01:24:20,480 --> 01:24:23,760 -Josh, how we doin'? -We got a bent axle over here. 1116 01:24:23,840 --> 01:24:28,960 We can do anything, even take on Camp MVP in the Apache Relay. 1117 01:24:29,320 --> 01:24:31,560 And we can win, I think. 1118 01:24:32,400 --> 01:24:33,680 ANNOUNCER: Welcome, everybody, 1119 01:24:33,760 --> 01:24:37,080 to the 33rd annual Apache Relay games. 1120 01:24:37,160 --> 01:24:42,280 The favorites, Camp MVP, versus the perennial losers, Camp Hope. 1121 01:24:42,440 --> 01:24:45,000 This relay today will consist of three parts, 1122 01:24:45,080 --> 01:24:48,560 the obstacle course, the hall of intelligence 1123 01:24:48,640 --> 01:24:50,800 and the grand prix. 1124 01:24:50,880 --> 01:24:52,760 May the best team win. 1125 01:24:53,800 --> 01:24:56,720 Cody, just give it your best shot. Give me those glasses. 1126 01:24:56,800 --> 01:24:58,760 On your mark. Get set. 1127 01:25:17,240 --> 01:25:19,160 ANNOUNCER: Looks like an MVP romp again, folks. 1128 01:25:45,520 --> 01:25:47,200 Here, take it! 1129 01:25:53,360 --> 01:25:55,240 TIM: You got it. Keep goin'. 1130 01:25:55,360 --> 01:25:57,480 You got it, man. Yeah. You almost got it. 1131 01:26:04,200 --> 01:26:05,680 Ready? 1132 01:26:12,280 --> 01:26:13,640 Yeah! 1133 01:26:18,080 --> 01:26:19,440 Give me the balloon! 1134 01:26:26,640 --> 01:26:28,880 (WHISTLES) 1135 01:26:33,120 --> 01:26:35,200 You thought we were gonna get creamed. 1136 01:26:35,280 --> 01:26:38,560 I don't think you're gonna get creamed ridin' this. 1137 01:26:38,640 --> 01:26:39,760 Whoa! 1138 01:26:40,080 --> 01:26:41,360 Did a little work on the motor. 1139 01:26:42,560 --> 01:26:43,760 Whoa! 1140 01:26:44,080 --> 01:26:46,480 I think you better take that feather off. 1141 01:26:46,560 --> 01:26:49,360 I don't think it's gonna fit under this. 1142 01:26:51,760 --> 01:26:54,280 Camp MVP is setting a course record 1143 01:26:54,400 --> 01:26:57,160 as they move into the hall of intelligence. 1144 01:27:04,240 --> 01:27:06,520 -Solve the equation. -Fifty-five. 1145 01:27:06,600 --> 01:27:07,760 -No. -Seventeen? 1146 01:27:08,080 --> 01:27:09,840 -Nein. -Nine is the answer? 1147 01:27:09,920 --> 01:27:12,280 No! Nein is German for no. 1148 01:27:16,320 --> 01:27:18,960 -Artist and title, please. -Cher? 1149 01:27:20,960 --> 01:27:22,000 No. 1150 01:27:22,440 --> 01:27:24,640 KENNY: Solve the equation. 1151 01:27:26,640 --> 01:27:30,200 -Eleven. -Wunderbar. You may advance. 1152 01:27:31,200 --> 01:27:33,960 You must name five American vice presidents. 1153 01:27:34,320 --> 01:27:36,000 Quayle. 1154 01:27:36,120 --> 01:27:38,320 -George Washington. -No. 1155 01:27:39,640 --> 01:27:41,640 -Quayle. -You said that already. 1156 01:27:42,240 --> 01:27:43,600 Cher? 1157 01:27:43,680 --> 01:27:45,480 Da Vinci's Mona Lisa. 1158 01:27:45,560 --> 01:27:48,200 Van Gogh's Houses at Auvers. 1159 01:27:48,480 --> 01:27:51,640 Botticelli's La Primavera. 1160 01:27:52,000 --> 01:27:55,800 Camp Hope has almost caught up with Camp MVP. 1161 01:27:55,920 --> 01:27:58,920 Can you believe it? This is gonna be quite some finish. 1162 01:27:59,000 --> 01:28:00,720 Right is gas. Left is brake. 1163 01:28:02,680 --> 01:28:04,920 -Alexander Haig? -Sorry. 1164 01:28:06,200 --> 01:28:08,280 -Caught you. -Shut up. 1165 01:28:08,360 --> 01:28:11,280 Nicholas, name five American vice presidents. 1166 01:28:11,360 --> 01:28:14,080 Levi P. Morton, John Calhoun, 1167 01:28:14,320 --> 01:28:18,520 Hubert Humphrey, Spiro Agnew, Walter Mondale. 1168 01:28:18,720 --> 01:28:20,600 That's perfect. You may advance. 1169 01:28:20,680 --> 01:28:23,480 You Americans have no sense of history. 1170 01:28:26,280 --> 01:28:27,600 Accelerate into the turns. 1171 01:28:27,680 --> 01:28:29,600 Use your weight. Lean into them. 1172 01:28:30,280 --> 01:28:32,600 Be careful. This guy drives dirty. 1173 01:28:33,440 --> 01:28:34,960 -Thanks, Pat. -Go get 'em. 1174 01:28:39,240 --> 01:28:40,520 Nicholas! 1175 01:28:43,840 --> 01:28:45,360 Come on. 1176 01:28:48,280 --> 01:28:51,040 I don't wanna put any pressure on you, big guy, 1177 01:28:51,120 --> 01:28:53,920 but we have never lost this race, all right? 1178 01:28:56,400 --> 01:28:58,680 Don't forget your wings, man. 1179 01:29:01,040 --> 01:29:02,920 Take 'em down, captain. 1180 01:29:38,600 --> 01:29:39,760 Yeah! 1181 01:29:46,440 --> 01:29:47,560 Back off! 1182 01:29:51,520 --> 01:29:53,920 So long, sucker! 1183 01:30:02,120 --> 01:30:03,400 Shoot! 1184 01:30:03,600 --> 01:30:05,240 Come on! 1185 01:30:33,120 --> 01:30:35,880 Go Gerry! They're comin', they're comin'. 1186 01:30:48,920 --> 01:30:50,080 Come on! 1187 01:31:08,160 --> 01:31:09,360 He's still behind. 1188 01:31:11,640 --> 01:31:13,080 He can't pass. 1189 01:31:16,160 --> 01:31:18,480 -Come on! -No way. 1190 01:31:19,400 --> 01:31:21,600 Come on, captain! Come on, baby! 1191 01:32:10,520 --> 01:32:12,840 -I flew, Pat, I flew! -I know! I know! 1192 01:32:12,920 --> 01:32:16,480 Hip-hip-hooray! Hip-hip-hooray! 1193 01:32:16,560 --> 01:32:18,720 Hip-hip-hooray! 1194 01:32:29,840 --> 01:32:33,480 Finley, you'll be happy to know that we're filing a formal protest. 1195 01:32:33,800 --> 01:32:36,440 -That cup belongs to us. -The cup? 1196 01:32:36,520 --> 01:32:40,160 This is what you want? This is what your life is all about, Chris? 1197 01:32:40,280 --> 01:32:44,360 I'll tell you what. I'll airmail it back to camp for you, all right? 1198 01:32:44,520 --> 01:32:46,440 Take care of that, Simms. 1199 01:32:54,800 --> 01:32:57,520 -You're crazy! -You bet I'm crazy. 1200 01:33:00,040 --> 01:33:01,800 Crazy about my gal. 1201 01:33:18,840 --> 01:33:22,080 Hey, Pat, thanks for the best damn summer of my life. 1202 01:33:22,160 --> 01:33:23,880 Same here, captain. 1203 01:33:35,520 --> 01:33:39,040 TIM: All right, guys, let's sing the inspiring Camp Hope song! 1204 01:33:39,120 --> 01:33:40,160 (ALL GRUMBLING) 1205 01:33:40,240 --> 01:33:42,040 Come on! Here we go! 1206 01:33:42,200 --> 01:33:45,000 (SINGING) Camp Hope, Camp Hope, we sing to thee 1207 01:33:45,080 --> 01:33:48,080 The greatest camp in history 1208 01:33:48,160 --> 01:33:49,240 A place for boys... 1209 01:33:49,320 --> 01:33:52,640 BOY: Tim, that sounds boring. Sing something cool. 1210 01:33:52,800 --> 01:33:56,680 TIM: Wanna hear something cool? Okay, cats. Let's rock it. 1211 01:34:00,680 --> 01:34:02,640 (SINGING) Camp Hope 1212 01:34:05,200 --> 01:34:07,280 Camp Hope, Camp Hope, the place for boys 1213 01:34:07,360 --> 01:34:09,280 We got no girls, we got no toys 1214 01:34:09,360 --> 01:34:11,360 The bunks are hard, the cabins hot 1215 01:34:11,480 --> 01:34:13,520 BOY 1: Last night a snake crawled in my cot 1216 01:34:13,600 --> 01:34:15,520 BOY 2: Make sure the shower door is shut 1217 01:34:15,600 --> 01:34:17,600 BOY 3: Or else mosquitoes bite your butt 1218 01:34:17,760 --> 01:34:19,800 BOY 4: And don't swim past in your friend's wake 1219 01:34:19,880 --> 01:34:21,560 ALL: Or you will waterslide in the lake 1220 01:34:21,680 --> 01:34:25,040 TIM: Now you're getting the hang of it. Come on! 1221 01:34:25,160 --> 01:34:27,160 ALL: (SINGING) Camp Hope, Camp Hope, please give us food 1222 01:34:27,240 --> 01:34:29,280 We're starved and in a rotten mood 1223 01:34:29,360 --> 01:34:33,720 But still we're hanging with our friends so we hope summer never ends 1224 01:34:34,560 --> 01:34:37,120 TIM: All right! Sounds good. Here we go! 1225 01:34:37,640 --> 01:34:40,600 ALL: (SINGING) Here's a tip that you should try 1226 01:34:41,720 --> 01:34:44,640 If people laugh when you walk by 1227 01:34:45,840 --> 01:34:48,640 Just walk right up and proudly state 1228 01:34:49,880 --> 01:34:52,880 TIM: Back off, Jack, I'm a heavyweight 1229 01:34:53,920 --> 01:34:56,800 ALL: Back off, Jack, we're all heavyweights 1230 01:34:56,920 --> 01:34:59,440 TIM: All right, guys! Hey, look who's here! 1231 01:34:59,920 --> 01:35:01,920 PAT: (SINGING) My name is Pat 1232 01:35:02,000 --> 01:35:03,960 JULIE: (SINGING) And I'm Nurse Julie 1233 01:35:04,040 --> 01:35:06,080 TIM: (SINGING) You know I'm Tim 1234 01:35:06,160 --> 01:35:08,360 KENNY: (SINGING) And I am Kenny the cameraman 1235 01:35:08,560 --> 01:35:10,680 LARS: Stop that stupid song. 1236 01:35:10,760 --> 01:35:12,640 You call that music? 1237 01:35:12,720 --> 01:35:15,680 (SINGING) I know you think you're all rock stars 1238 01:35:15,760 --> 01:35:18,440 But here's an oompah song from Lars 1239 01:35:18,520 --> 01:35:21,480 About my favorite Camp Hope job 1240 01:35:21,560 --> 01:35:24,280 The day that I harpooned the Blob 1241 01:35:24,360 --> 01:35:26,800 And just to make it very clear 1242 01:35:26,920 --> 01:35:29,800 I was not scared of that big deer 1243 01:35:29,920 --> 01:35:35,040 And although Tony is not here, I still enjoy Camp Hope 1244 01:35:35,440 --> 01:35:37,240 TIM: Thanks, Lars. That's great. 1245 01:35:37,320 --> 01:35:39,880 All right, guys. Are you ready to take it home? 1246 01:35:39,960 --> 01:35:41,200 Let's rock! 1247 01:35:41,280 --> 01:35:43,600 ALL: (SINGING) Camp Hope, Camp Hope, we all had fun 1248 01:35:43,680 --> 01:35:45,960 And now our time is almost done 1249 01:35:46,040 --> 01:35:50,720 But we'll come back again next year because our friends will all be here 1250 01:35:50,800 --> 01:35:55,480 Here's a tip that you should try If people laugh when you walk by 1251 01:35:55,560 --> 01:35:57,840 Just walk right up and proudly state 1252 01:35:57,960 --> 01:35:59,480 Back off, Jack 1253 01:36:00,320 --> 01:36:05,440 I'm a heavyweight! 1254 01:36:05,920 --> 01:36:08,160 TIM: Guys, that sounds great! 1255 01:36:08,760 --> 01:36:10,480 We got a bunch of heavyweights here? 1256 01:36:10,600 --> 01:36:12,160 Are you guys heavyweights? 1257 01:36:12,240 --> 01:36:14,480 I said are you guys heavyweights? 1258 01:36:14,600 --> 01:36:16,680 -Gerry, are you a heavyweight? -GERRY: Yeah! 1259 01:36:17,480 --> 01:36:20,000 TIM: The rest of you guys, are you heavyweights? 1260 01:36:20,080 --> 01:36:21,560 ALL: Yeah! 1261 01:36:21,640 --> 01:36:24,160 TIM: Are we all heavyweights? 1262 01:36:24,280 --> 01:36:28,240 Pat, are you a heavyweight? Nurse Julie, are you a heavyweight? 1263 01:36:28,760 --> 01:36:30,960 Lars, are you a heavyweight? 1264 01:36:31,040 --> 01:36:34,600 Kenny the cameraman, are you a heavyweight? 1265 01:36:35,840 --> 01:36:38,080 We're all heavyweights! 1266 01:36:38,680 --> 01:36:41,120 Lars, are you gonna come back next year? 1267 01:36:41,200 --> 01:36:43,560 LARS: I don't know, Tim. I live very far away. 1268 01:36:43,680 --> 01:36:45,000 TIM: We'll fly you in. 1269 01:36:45,080 --> 01:36:47,080 Kenny the cameraman, can you make it back? 1270 01:36:47,200 --> 01:36:49,200 KENNY: I might be able to work something out. 1271 01:36:51,000 --> 01:36:54,200 TIM: What do you say, guys? Does Camp Hope rule? 1272 01:36:54,960 --> 01:36:56,880 Did you hurt yourself on the Blob? 1273 01:36:57,040 --> 01:36:59,280 PAT: Yeah. I tore my rotator cuff. 1274 01:37:01,360 --> 01:37:02,640 (DOORBELL) 1275 01:37:03,640 --> 01:37:05,200 Good afternoon. 1276 01:37:05,520 --> 01:37:09,360 I know what you're thinking, "Another guy hawking healing crystals." 1277 01:37:09,440 --> 01:37:10,880 I don't call them crystals. 1278 01:37:10,960 --> 01:37:13,320 I call them transformational facilitators. 1279 01:37:13,400 --> 01:37:14,760 Perhaps... 98012