All language subtitles for Insecure S02E06 Hella Blows

Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM

- It's Issa!
- Oh, ya'll cool now?

- Dan knows what it is.
- Okay.

I am all about what? My ho-tation.

- Oh, we got a ho-tation?
- And I'm about to add

- a new one.
- Cheers.

- Cheers.
- How could you cheat on mom?

- He made a mistake.
- And I just feel so fucking

stupid! Here I am thinking my parents'

marriage is the thing.

That doesn't make you stupid.

You're just trying to find
someone who loves you and

makes you happy.

I was driving and then...

It's all good.

We're cool, right?

We were both seeing other

people, right?

Yeah.

I just want to be on the same page.

I'm cool.

Cool.

- Synced and corrected by javiernv -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -

- Hey, your bumper 'bout to fall.
- Thanks.

- Hello?
- Hey, Mo, what you doing?

- Just working.
- Not if you're talking to me.

No, I'm... I'm really
working late... again.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

I know you work hard.
I was just playing.

Oh, okay.

- You watch the game last night?
- I caught some of it.

Mm, I can't believe D'Angelo
missed that last three.

I knew we should've drafted Porzingis.

Oh.

So, am I the only one
tripping that we...

had sex?

You know, whispering doesn't
change the fact that we...

had sex.

Hold on, I got another call coming in.

Yo, I gotta take it. It's my mom.

Am I still seeing you tomorrow?

Mm-hmm. Bye.

_

I could use a sexplosion.

Hmm.

You look great.

You look great.

What you gonna ask him?

Who's gonna get that dick? You.

You gonna walk in there, you gonna say,

"Pull down your motherfucking pants

and show me what the fuck you got."

Niggas ain't ready.

You ready to get fucked?

Fire just like this pussy.

Oh, I look good in a pattern.

Mm-hmm, I think this
is African. You like it?

Now come and get this African pussy.

Hey, just right.

Hey, Issa. Hey!

Wait, wait, did... Did you text me?

Did I... did I tell
you to stop by? My bad.

No, no, no, I just...
I saw your light was on

and I figured I'd come through.

Oh, um... ahem.

So...

Eddie, where's your charger?

Oh, that's my friend.

She's from econ class.

She was tutoring me on
a lot of things I need.

If I knew we were doing
this, I would've...

I would've been up them
stairs a long time ago.

♪ You sloppy-ass young nigga ♪

♪ You gonna do me like that? ♪

♪ I'm over here
serving you my finest ♪

♪ And you gonna send my shit back? ♪

♪ I could cry right now,
I'm so embarrassed and mad ♪

♪ I hope you can't get it up ♪

No, that's... That's cool, you know?

I mean, that's what's up, right?

That's what's up.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Bye.

_

Hey, you going to Target?

What? No, I'm not.

- Why not?
- Does it... why would I be?

Just need some "Bleenex"
and some "Blorox" bleach.

Well, I can't go. I can't.

And what makes the end
user functionality so great

is that it aggregates
all of your data...

Where you shop, where you
eat, where you drink...

And it makes recommendations
based on that.

Everything you need at your fingertips.

Whoo!

That was great, Lawrence. Thank you.

Loved the presentation.

Yeah, and just piggybacking
off what Cameron just said,

you really did explain
your market thesis well.

You laid everything out very clearly.

Your predictive
analytics... Very impressive.

And I also like how you worked
in the competitive landscape.

Cool! So do you guys have any questions?

Honestly, I think it all makes sense.

- Thanks.
- Hey, what are those shoes?

Oh, uh, they're Retro Js.

Man, they are fly.

I'm just feeling like we
fucked up our friendship.

Well, you literally fucked your
friend, so that sounds about right.

- Tsk.
- How they still doing the estimate?

Like, it's the bumper. Duh.

Do we even need it?

How are we supposed to go
back to normal after this?

Dro is the one nigga in my
life that's seen me at my worst.

Girl, he took me to prom back
when I was wearing all pink

like Beyoncé in "Check On It."

- Ooh, I bet that looked cute.
- It did.

But, like, no matter what,
he was always there for me.

I just don't have
another friend like that.

Um, hello, I'm right here.

- We can fuck if you want to.
- Tsk, shut your ass up.

Mm-hmm.

You know what?

I'm just gonna tell him
that I value our friendship

and it was a onetime thing,
and I was all emotional

after all the shit that
happened with my parents,

and we should just
move forward as homies.

When y'all gonna have
this deep-ass conversation?

Tonight. We getting
together to watch the game.

- What game?
- Like you know sports.

The Los Angeles Wheelers.

Oh, yeah. I have a hat.

Mm-hmm, do you?

Yeah, it got wheels on it.

Ms. Dee, we're gonna
have to order some parts,

and we're looking at a couple weeks.

And the estimate is $5,500.

55-what?!

You don't got that kind of money.

I know! I'm poor!

I can give you a ride.

You have to.

And, girl, maybe if it's not Morocco,

we could still go to Miami

or Montego Bay or Monterey.

There are other places that
start with other letters.

I'm just, ugh... I was just
getting everything under control,

and I'm just... ugh!

Girl, I know, this car shit sucks.

Remember when I got that flat tire?

I mean, I just paid for it
and kept it moving, but...

And the niggas ain't even acting right.

It's like, it's my hotation.

I make the rules.

So when I call you, bring over the dick!

So, what's the problem?

Why do these niggas even
need to fuck anybody else?

Like, I mean, granted,
I know I'm not Rihanna.

You know, sex with me isn't amazing,

but it is like, "Huh.
Okay, yeah, I'm satisfied.

I'd do that again with her."

But aren't you fucking
other people, too?

Barely.

You know where I fucked up? Nico.

'Cause he distracted me
with his fine-ass face.

But I'ma tell him, "Shut the fuck up."

I don't want your conversation.

"Get in my lineup."

- Girl, that's the ho spirit.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, maybe you can pick up some toys

at Tiffany's thing.

Spice your shit up.

Ugh, that Sexplosion shit?

- Stupid-ass name.
- Right?!

- Don't it sound like an STD?
- It do!

Welcome. Can I take your order?

Hi! Can I have a double
cheeseburger meal, please?

And get whatever you want, girl.

It's on you.

So, am I crazy,

or did that go kind of great?

What do you think I should
tweak before my next step?

Uh, your expectations.

Wait, what?

I'm sorry, but if I'm just being honest,

I don't think Woot Woot is viable.

Based on what?

It just felt outdated.

I mean, it's cool if
you don't see the vision.

Good thing you're not
the one greenlighting it.

Okay.

I'm just saying I know
when they're into something.

Like with the Saddle
pitch, they asked questions,

they poked holes, they
even scheduled a follow-up.

It's weird. It's like they
didn't wanna offend you.

You're entitled to your opinion.

Randle like a damn bull in a china shop.

- Huh.
- Like, nigga, calm your body.

- Hmm.
- Whatever.

Magic gotta do something.

- You want a beer?
- No, I'm good.

- All right, well, I ordered you fries.
- Thank you.

- Um...
- Mmm.

What's up, Mo? You okay?

I'm just feeling like
we're different now.

What?

Different?

Different how? You just got here.

Okay, first of all, stop laughing at me.

- Stop being dramatic.
- I'm not being dramatic.

You're being dramatic and
dumb. Just eat your fries.

Where the fuck are they?

Shit, you was late. I had a few.

- I like the crispy ones.
- Those are the ones I like.

So, basically, you
just got these for you?

Nah.

- Yeah, I'm so good.
- Yeah?

Yeah.

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you, too.

Um, sorry, I've been
running around all day

and I'm not quite ready.

But do you wanna sit down?

Sure. Thanks.

Um, the skirt that I was
gonna wear is in the dryer,

so it'll just be a few minutes.

I mean, I... I like the
one that you have on.

This? No way. It barely fits.

And it's so short.

Isn't it too short?

I don't know. I kind of like it.

Well, too bad because it's
coming off in a second.

- Wine?
- Well, can't say no to that.

- Mmm.
- I like your place.

That's cool art. Where did you get it?

- Cheers!
- Cheers.

Do you taste the stone fruit?

Actually, um, I do.

There's hella stone fruit in there.

Uh, let me play some music.

And I downloaded that
album we were talking about.

Mmm.

Hey, that was a cool trick.

That was nice, but, um,

I think that maybe we
should probably go to dinner.

Oh, we don't have to.

I... mm...

Mm, wait.

Hey, sweetie. Sweetie, slow down.

What? Why?

I just... I just don't think
that we should do this yet.

Oh, are you okay? Is anything wrong

with your... just anything?

What? Oh, no.

No, it's...

Look, I really like you,

and I don't want us to
rush past this, you know?

I... I wanna get to know you.

Yeah, I got it. Mm-hmm.

Okay.

So, do you wanna get to the restaurant?

No.

Okay. Excuse me.

So, I remember a few hours ago

you saying that this supposed
to be a onetime thing.

- I said that?
- Mm-hmm.

Right before we made
it a fourtime thing.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Hey, so, how would this even work?

Like, this whole open
thing sounds super messy.

Like, if you're seeing me,
are you seeing other people?

Mm-mm, no, I don't have to.

- But do you want to?
- No, not right now.

- I'm worn out.
- Tsk.

I'm not looking for anyone else, Molly.

Okay, but what if I am?

What if I wanna see other people?

Then you gotta do what you want.

Are there other Mollys out there

that you've been with like that?

I've only been with one Molly

that I've been with like that.

But if you're asking if I've
slept with other women, then...

come on.

Tsk, okay, calm down, nigga.

Wait, does Candice know about all this?

Of course she does. It was actually
her idea we see other people.

Damn.

That's kind of boss.

She never wanted either of us to
feel like we're limiting ourselves.

We could keep talking about this...

...or choose to be in it.

What do you want?

What's up, Lawrence?

What can we do for you?

Oh, just thought I'd
swing by, see what's up.

See if you guys had any feedback
about my Woot Woot pitch.

Yeah, I know the part
in the presentation

about my front user implementation

wasn't as fully fleshed
out as I would have hoped,

but I had some additional ideas

that I would love to
share with you guys.

No, we thought that part was good.

Yeah, there was some really
interesting stuff in there.

So, you guys don't have
any additional thoughts?

If anything, maybe
some privacy concerns,

but take it or leave it.

Oh, okay.

Uh, good to know.

We really want to encourage you

to keep the ideas coming.

We love having your perspective
and your energy around here.

And you bring a lot to the
team. You're doing great.

We can't wait for Lawrence 2.0.

Sounds good.

And those sneakers you
had on the other day,

what store did you get those from again?

It's a spot downtown called Nice Kicks.

And those are.

Yeah.

- Ooh, are these condoms free?
- Oh, absolutely.

There's banana split, mint chocolate,

and our top flavor for
women, island punch.

- Mmm.
- Mmm.

Uh, who punching your island?

Dang, can't I be prepared?

- You never know.
- Mm, like a sex-quake kit.

- You smart.
- Oh, look, they give blow job tutorials.

Oh, yeah, it's "Blow
Job, Good Job" class.

Runs every 30 minutes.

Sign-up's right here.

Who puts a condom on when
you're giving a blow job?

That's like eating a
Popsicle with the wrapper on.

No, but I only fellate with protection.

- Condoms are important.
- Keep dicks safe.

- Okay.
- We're signing up.

- Great.
- Or I could just teach the class myself.

Okay, Tiff, you got it like that?

I love it.

I mean, Derek loves it more, obvi,

but I am stellar.

Well, I don't suck dick.

Ever since Jaleel White...
Not the famous one...

And his musty balls in the 11th grade,

never again, not this mouth.

Yeah, I don't really partake either.

I have big teeth, and,
honestly, I'm not the best at it.

Exactly why I signed us up.

Plus, the whole eye
contact and the spitting,

it's just too intimate.

Like, I have to really fuck with
you to put your dick in my mouth.

But you don't mind if a
guy puts his dick in you?

I just don't understand black women

and their hang-ups about oral sex.

Girl, shut your light-skinned ass up.

I just feel like

guys see black women as disposable
after you give them head.

Like you're forever a ho if you do it.

- Oh, so I'm the ho in this situation?
- Mm-hmm.

I blame the church, the black church.

Kelli, you can't use
that for everything.

- Yes, I can.
- You know, I don't mind giving head.

I don't lead with it, but
if you go down on me first,

I will return the favor.

- Ladies, I'm so disappointed in you.
- Bitch, shut up.

You went to those
all-white-girl private schools,

so you're brain-washed, Becky.

You mean, "Becky With the Good Ring"?

Yeah, why do you think black men are
out here chasing after white women?

Did you know David Oyelowo
is with a white woman?

Mm! And he was in "Selma."

I'm just saying,

there is so much power
in giving blow jobs.

It's like I'm the one fully in control.

How are you in control?

Every man is controlled by his dick.

The closer you get to it,
the more control you have.

And if you're good at
it, sky's the limit.

Honestly, I'd rather go down on a woman.

At least our shit cleans itself.

Hey, why are there two?
Got it. I'm gonna get it.

No, she didn't! Oh, no.

- Hey.
- Hey.

So, um, Woot Woot's dead.

I'm sorry. What happened?

I went to talk to Cameron and Tim,

and you were right,
they were super weird.

They clearly didn't like it,

but they just couldn't
say it to a black dude.

Is that what it is?

They asked about my shoes twice.

- Fuck.
- Yeah.

You know, I had a
feeling it was something.

And they're also really
weird around these.

I mean, I don't know,
deep down I kind of thought

Woot Woot might not still be...

I don't know, it just... it had
been a part of my life for so long.

No, I get it. I was working on this app

that was supposed to
rival Uber and Lyft.

- I called it Drive-By.
- Drive-By?

Yeah, I didn't really
think that one through.

No.

But it's okay.

Sometimes saying goodbye means you're
making room for something better.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess I'll look
forward to being Lawrence 2.0.

Well, if it makes you feel any better,

I'm at Aparna 6.7.

Yo, let's run this back.

Did people get shot
using your Drive-By app?

How many owls got harmed
in the making of Woot Woot?

Was that, like, your ringer?

- Like...
- You hear that?

- It's the owls dying.
- Oh, for real?

Yeah. Woot woot!

No, he's cool. He's kind of
giving me a black Daft Punk vibe.

Mm, well, when he comes
out, it's about to be a wrap.

Oh, yeah, I can see why you're excited

and why you've been working so hard.

Yeah, I've just been
putting in a lot of hours.

You know, I've been getting
his debut album finished.

No, yeah, I've been busy, too.

Like, just busy, busy, busy, so busy.

"Busy, busy. Oh, busy."

I ain't busy now. I ain't busy. Okay.

You know what?

I need to catch up with you.

You gonna catch up with me?

Oh, shit, I'm three, four in,
so you might have to, like...

Okay, so it's just two
more and, boom, caught up.

I got you something.

- What, for me?
- I got you something.

Chill, chill, chill.
I got you something.

You gonna love it!

Why you got so many matches?

- Bang!
- Aw!

This is...

Can't forget about... Hold that...

- What?
- ...this!

- You remembered? Ugh!
- Come on, now.

- It's so good.
- Yeah?

- Try it.
- Okay.

- Mm!
- All right, I see you.

- Right?
- It's actually not that bad.

You're not that bad.

Mm, you're not that bad.

- I mean, you are that bad.
- Mm!

Wait, let me... I got this.

- Oh, thank you.
- Mmm.

- Feels good.
- Uh-uh, don't get too comfortable.

- I'm next.
- Tsk, whatever.

I can't with that
Rubber Ducky Dick thing.

I think it's just called a Rubber Dicky.

Oh, well, you don't need it...

- Oh?
- ...'cause I can do better.

- Oh, can you?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay, yeah.

Ah, shit.

- Uh, I gotta go.
- Why? What's wrong?

Candice, she locked herself out.

Okay.

- You gonna be okay?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah, totally.

No, no, no, no, stay.

Dinner's already on the way.

Room's paid for.

Here.

Mm.

Sorry, babe.

I know this sucks.

I'm free next weekend, though,
and I'll call you, okay?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Tsk.

Ah, shit, girl,

where did you learn that?

Oh, shit, you about to make me come.

Shit!

What the fuck?!

Oh, shit, you need a towel?

- Are you fucking serious right now?
- What?

Did you really just do
that in my fucking face?!

You were into it. I mean, I was into it.

- I mean, good job.
- What? Are you... what?

- Iss, Iss, calm down, calm down.
- Are you serious?

Don't touch me!

What... What's the problem?

I mean, I thought we were having fun.

Like, you seemed like
you was down for whatever.

Really? I didn't ask for this!

I didn't ask you to suck my dick.

Fuck you.

Iss!

Hey. Uh, Is-suh?

Is-suh carpool.

I got one more pickup.

Hey, can you change
it to a black station?

- Sure.
- Thanks.

Yes!